I can't believe
they had the nutrient-infused potting soil.
This is gonna be the best family project ever!
I don't think these family projects
are a great idea.
You saw what happened with the Mansons.
Give me your money! Quick!
- Oh, of course. What cause is this for? - Just shut up and give me the money!
Dad, that's his finger he's aiming at you.
Don't be rude, Bliss.
Do you think they want to rob us? They have to.
That's all my cash. Do you take credit cards?
Gerald, "tall and confident" is not a good description.
What color were they?
I told you, Ray. I refuse to see color.
But we need to know what those thugs looked like
so we can hunt them down. - No one's hunting down anybody.
Nothing ever gets solved with violence.
Haven't you ever seen a Charles Bronson movie?
Hoo! That man could use violence to solve pi.
Guys, Helen's right.
The only answer here is to reach out to these kids at a young age
and steer them in the right direction.
And that's what we're going to do.
What if, like, eight of us
reached out to them with sticks and pipes?
And if we taught art to kids in detention,
we could help steer them away
from a life of crime and violence.
Not to toot our own horn,
but we've done a pretty fantastic job
raising our Bliss and Ubuntu to be responsible and independent.
So which brought you here,
"stand and deliver" or "dangerous minds"?
"Stand and deliver."
I ran all the way home from school.
I can't wait to hear what today's project is gonna be.
Actually, kids, starting today,
your father and I are going to be teaching the arts
to students at p.s. 146.
So you two are gonna be on your own for a few hours
every day after school. - What?!
- But I always do projects after school with you guys. - You'll be fine.
I would do trail scouts, but you guys said
they're religiously biased and notoriously homophobic.
See? We've taught you well.
And these at-risk kids need someone to care enough
to teach them about homophobic service groups.
Absolutely! What am I 'posed to do?
You'll find something. Go online.
That's where young teens find all the fun.
Hey, look at this. "nature troop -
Join mother earth's most proactive volunteer corp."
Hannah, I got a parent-free party house here.
Get texting and invite some boys over.
What should you tell them?
Tell them we have an empty house and two high school girls.
You're not selling "dorf on golf" here.
Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.
The Goode family
Remember, Gerald,
these kids are perched precariously on the edge
of a life of criminality.
Only one thing can save them -
art, and lots of it.
Well, they also need an authority figure - me.
Now I'm warning you.
You're going to see my tough side.
I may sit in the chair backwards, so don't freak out.
And I be like, fool, I ain't having none of that.
You know what I'm saying? I sure do!
Hi, I'm Helen Goode, and this is my husband gerald.
Mm. That's right.
And we're pleased to welcome you to day one
of "Art for the urbane."
Man, you in the wrong room. This is detention.
Ain't nobody doin' no arts up in here, stupid ass.
Well, we spoke with principal Whitmore
and we agreed
that maybe the reason you guys, uh, "acted out"
when you threw a credenza from a third-story window
is because you don't have an outlet
to focus all your youthful energy on.
Yo, we didn't throw that credenza
'cause of any youthful energy, son.
We did it to get into a gang.
Sixth street psychos, yo!
You know what our kids like to do?
Topiary.
That's gonna look great on the credenza.
I got him!
He was lodged under a rock.
That's why he wasn't answering when I called him.
Wow! You saved that turtle's life.
It's our duty to help them survive.
They were around before dinosaurs,
and those big guys couldn't make it.
And dinosaurs were bad-ass. That's just math. Look it up.
I wanna save turtles
and build windmills and play with bees!
Nice.
Hannah, look who's here-- Lane!
And if lane's here,
the tatted-out asian girls that get into spit fights
can't be far behind, and that's when we get a door guy
and start charging a cover. Bad news - we're all out of soda.
Shoot! Wait a second. I think my dad keeps some
in his "hands off, please" closet. Come on.
He's kinda weird about us seeing his personal stuff.
What's that thing?
Oh, that's a laminator.
My dad laminates everything - receipts, important leaves,
old "doonesburys" he agrees with.
He hides it because he thinks we'll break it. That sucks.
If you made fake i.d.s, you'd be, like, printing money.
Come on, son, you know he a good criminal lawyer.
His phone number's all 8s. That ain't random!
They're actually using our arts class
to become better criminals.
Hey, so do you guys like drawing?
Or sculpting or embroidery?
Well, Maffew here likes photography.
Man, Benny just saying that
'cause I stole this camera yesterday off Heroin Greg.
I can't even work the damn thing.
I could show you. No!
I'll tell you what you're going to do.
You're going to try it.
A- and then if-- if you don't like it, you can leave early.
If we got to leave early,
we might still make it to the liquor store
before the blind guy's shift is up.
You know, I think I'm gonna like this class after all.
Ubuntu, you are unreal.
Is there anything you can't do?
Mm... I can't read when we drive 'cause I get carsick,
and I can't be president for a number of reasons.
Once in a great while,
I see someone who's got what it takes
to really make a difference in the world.
I'm proud to have you in my troop. Will you read me a story?
Son, we're gonna live one.
All right, let's get started.
"Project greenfire."
This is the road rager.
It consumes more fuel and emits more toxins
than any s.u.v. On the road.
This is their new dealership
right here in greenville.
We're gonna blow it up. Any questions?
Uh, will there be running involved?
'cause I'm wearing sandals.
I can't believe how quickly these kids took to photography.
Maffew even told me
he was going to think about keeping the camera
instead of pawning it for ringtone money.
I love the negative space in this one.
Mm, negative space and positive attitudes.
We're really getting through to these kids.
Mm. It's kinda quiet. I wonder where Bliss and Ubuntu are.
I'm sure they're fine. They probably found
some positive way to spend their afternoons.
Whoa! Ubuntu, fantastic soldering!
You really think so? Thanks.
But... How does fixing a remote radio receiver help the planet?
Remember our saying, Ubuntu -
If it helps mother Earth, that's all I need to know.
All right!
Now let's go paint "Joe's moving and storage"
on the side of the van. Okay!
Why?
If it helps mother Earth,
that's all I need to know.
I'm looking for Greg Burke,
a.k.a. Slobodan Vujivic.
Here you go. That'll be $30.
That'll do.
Grandpa! What are you doing here?!
What do you think I'm doing?
It's 4:30. I came to use the john.
What's going on here? Wait a second.
Underage kids...
A laminator...
Grape soda!
Bliss, is this a doomsday cult?
Okay, look. We were in dad's closet,
happened upon his laminator, one thing led to another,
and we're making fake i.d.s at competive prices.
The guys in the boccie club
have been wanting i.d.s that said they were 65
so they could get senior citizen discounts.
We hook them up, i'd besoin.
Those guys own 1/16th of a motorboat!
Okay, we're out of time.
Good work today, guys.
Damn, two hours flew by.
We didn't even have a chance
to talk about the best opening line for our carjacking.
And I had a good one-- "knock, knock." Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
As a reward for accompanying us on this creative journey,
we have a surprise for you,
but you're going to have to wait until tomorrow.
Aw, man. You can never trust a white man with a surprise.
Where'd you read that? Wigger-pedia?
Well, it looks like these at-risk kids
are a little less at-risk. Thanks to us.
And now when all the other gangbangers and at-risk kids
see this, they'll put down their switchblades for cameras, too.
Nice font on your driver's license, mom.
Is that hellenic? Mom! Dad!
I tried to wait up last night to tell you, but I fell asleep!
Jeff really believes in me,
and yesterday, he let me help with this big project
that's going to limit fuel consumption!
It was so cool!
First, we went shopping for uniforms.
Then I got to help Jeff rent a big truck.
It was a hemi 440 v8 dualie!
Then we got a bunch of fertilizer
from the gardening store
and had to load it onto the truck.
Oh, my god, Gerald. It's 2:50! We gotta get down to the school.
Ooh, you're right. I can't wait to see
what the kids thought of the photography display.
I know the kids tend to be late sometimes,
but this seems extreme.
Remember, Helen, tardiness is culturally relative.
Excuse me, Mrs. Glavin?
Have you seen Benny, Dawn or Maffew?
They're late, and they were very excited
about the theme for today's photo shoot.
It's called "Emotion - a celebration."
Oh, I just saw them. They're in the nurse's office.
Is today the day they do the scoliosis test?
Oh! Ha ha! No, they were brutally beaten.
And then when they saw our photos up on display,
they beat the crap out of us and threw us out the gang!
And then some other kids beat us up 'cause we didn't have
the protection of being in a gang!
Oh, my god! I'm so sorry!
What the hell were you thinking?!
I'm wearing an ascot in one of those!
You can imagine the jokes, i'm sure.
Didn't you know how those photos would be seen
by the students here?
These kids have lost their street cred forever.
Uh... Bad news. It's Êick.
What now?
Is he skipping out to be in another freakin' improv show?
He said that it was his passion
and that he had to make it his priority.
This is why I tell you people
when you join an eco-terror group, it`s a commitment for life!
Now we have no wheel man. That's the riskiest job. He's the last man out!
It's already 4:30. Damn it!
What are we gonna do?
I made you a korean war veteran
and legally blind,
'cause you're the king of boccie...
For now.
Am-scray!
Hey, what's going on here?
Is that dad's laminator?
You know that's "hands off, please."
I'll level with you.
I'm making fake i.d.s, passports and some canadian work visas.
Not a big deal. Passports? Awesome!
My friend Jeff from nature troop
said I might need a fake passport
after tonight's project at the road rager dealership.
Could you make me one? Sure! Anything you like!
As long as you don't tell mom and dad.
Thanks, Bliss!
See ya later! He's gonna rat on us, isn't he?
Did you tell him what we do to rats? Relax.
He agreed to keep his mouth shut if I make him a fake passport.
What's he need a passport for?
Something about a project for nature troop
and a road rager dealership.
I mean, I love Ubuntu, but have you tried talking to him?
Snow is cold! Cookies are like smiles!
A passport?
For a project he's doing in the middle of the night?
At an s.u.v. dealership?
With an eco-group?
We failed, Gerald.
Our community's no safer,
and instead of those kids committing acts of violence,
we made them the victims of it!
Maybe I need to get tough on the kids
that got tough on our kids.
Hello?
Mom? Listen, I don't have time to explain,
and I don't want you to worry, but...
I'm pretty sure Ubuntu and an eco-terror group
are going to blow up that s.u.v. dealership that just opened.
What?! What are you talking about?
Where did you hear that?
I read it online. Stay focused.
Okay, the important thing is
that grandpa and I are safe at home,
just kinda sittin' here, not really doing anything sketchy.
Ubuntu's gonna blow up a road rager dealership!
We have to stop him! How's that now?
Give me the keys, Gerald! The keys! Now!
My little boy is in trouble! We took citylink!
Ugh. Why won't 9-1-1 pick up?!
Greetings, fellow greenvillian.
We're currently unable to address your emergency.
Please visit us online at www.911.gov/help.
Help! Please!
My baby's in trouble!
Maffew! Oh, thank god!
We need a ride, my son's in trouble.
Maybe you shoulda taught him ceramics. We did! I don't know what happened!
I'll tell you what happened.
We were here because we wanted to show you
that nothing good comes from gangs and violence.
We wanted to try and keep you kids
from going to jail or getting hurt,
and now our son might get arrested or even killed!
Damn. That's pretty messed up.
A'ight, get in.
So I just drive through this fence,
park the truck near the s.u.v.s and...
Run as fast as I can?
Man, you make saving the planet sound so easy
when you put it like that.
All right, we're live. Ready the hell-torch.
Uh, stop, please! Enough bouncing!
Where is he?! Where's my baby?!
If he's hurt, so help me god,
I will cut you open and empty you out!
Mom! Dad!
I can't believe you made it to see my project!
You were so busy, I never thought you'd come.
How'd you know I was here?
Ah, thank goodness you're all right.
What are you doing with these people?
Haven't we told you time and again
not to be a terrorist? This isn't terrorism, mom. It's for nature troop.
Jeff, tell my parents about the project we're doing.
Come on, Ubuntu.
You're driving a truck full of c4 and chemical fertilizer
into an s.u.v. dealership.
Do you see anything legal going on here?
You lied to me, Jeff... If that's even you're real name.
Of course it's not my real name.
Shh. Listen.
I'd know those sirens anywhere.
It's some sort of legal authority. Ugh. Fine. I'll do it myself.
You don't wanna do that, man.
Whoa. Whoa. Nobody needed to bring any black people.
Calm down, dawg. Don't shoot me!
I'm not gon' shoot you, man.
Look, I know from personal experience,
violence don't solve nothin'.
Oh, thank god! Oh, in that case...
Aw, hell! Get him!
That really hurt! Ow!
Relax! Dude!
Freeze! Everybody on the ground!
Oh, thank goodness you're here, officers.
See, what happened was--
Lady, I will scatter your face all over this cul-de-sac
if you do not get on the ground now!
Welcome, everybody, to the first meeting
of our new afterschool group-- The Goode Earth gang.
Yeah!
You all have a copy of our mission statement.
We pledge to provide a safe environment
for all kids...
including our own.
To help save the planet... While not being mean to gays...
Or enabling terrorists.
Ubuntu, as group leader,
why don't you get the kids started by showing them
how to use gravity to water your garden?
What's up with the boccie guys? They blew me off.
Your friends? Gone.
I guess they only liked us for what we could do for them...
Think, grandpa! What else can we do for them?
Well, my friends can buy beer,
and yours can drive at night.
I'm sure we can work something out.
A'ight, we out.
Gang meeting?
Nah, we don't need to be in a gang anymore.
Yeah. Everyone heard about us getting in a street fight
and getting arrested, so we got back our cred.
Oh, great!
We're so happy for you.
Here. I took this that last afternoon after school.
Hope you like it.
We really made a difference in those kids' lives, didn't we?
That's what we do.
Come on. Let's go put this on the mantle.
- Did they just steal our tv? - Well, maybe they needed a little more cred.
Sync by opel www.addic7ed.com