Ok. Well, I like that it's a super opportunity
to enlighten our neighbors about conservation
and the dangers of consumerism.
Well, we love the eco-bulbs you gave out last year so much
- that we leave them on all the time. - That's a good bulb.
Yeah. And don't forget the hemp underwear the year before that.
You should see me in it.
Somebody should.
At this year's block party, Helen and I would like
to introduce the neighborhood's first lending library
for seldom-used household necessities
like this plunger.
A plunger library?
Yes. Now the whole block can share...
And check this one out whenever they need it.
Needing a plunger is a very private shame, Gerald.
Well, see, that's what a block party is all about.
You can borrow a plunger from a friend
instead of buying one from a stranger.
All right, I'm in. I've got a life-sized Hank Williams cutout I'm done with.
I have a policeman's uniform.
- Perfect. - Yeah!
I've got a fish filter.
This is gonna be the best block party ever.
Hey, maybe we should invite the cul-de-sac this year.
Someone has a nifty new fire extinguisher down there.
Hmm. But why just stop at a cul-de-sac?
Well, it... it is a dead end.
Gerald, we're doing good work here.
Why shouldn't more people know about it?
We could make this a citywide party.
Well, that does sound good, but we only have one plunger,
and we usually run out of bean dip as it is.
That's why we need a sponsor.
We're having our annual block party,
And it's going to be a major eco-conscious event.
The juice depot has shown a lot of interest.
I like your message. We're in.
I'll grab you some banners, scratch pads, anything you need.
No food.
Attention, shoppers.
Direct your attention to a freegan update. Oh!
Heinrich Mueller has reached Millbrook city.
He's such an inspiration!
- What's "freegan" mean? - Allow me.
Freegans refuse to buy anything as a political statement
against our terribly wasteful lifestyle.
They live off discarded food they salvage from our dumpsters.
Heinrich Mueller's walking across our country
to rub America's nose in its own waste.
Mm. He's a hero.
It's too bad he's not coming through Greenvil.
Bummer. Now all of our garbage is gonna go to waste.
You know who else is doing something good? We are!
We're having an eco-conscious block party.
You should come, Margo. It will be very progressive.
Ooh, I'm progressive. That sounds interesting.
- Oh! - Yeah!
- I'm sure it's not... - And we're going to be educating people
about the dangers of consumerism.
So I guess the goodes can teach us all we need to know
about consuming less.
Poor Heinrich Mueller, wasting his time
walking across the entire country,
when all he had to do was jump in a bounce house
and eat churros with the Goodes.
As much as I hate to embarrass you in front of everyone, margo,
Heinrich loved the idea of our block party.
He told me so when he agreed to be our grand Marshall.
Uh, honey? I'm assuming Heinrich Mueller isn't really coming here.
Oh, he will be.
Transcripted by chamallow35
for www.addic7ed.com
The Goode Family - 1x06 - "Freeganomics"
How do you even find a freegan?
Why was I born into a family that would want to?
I hope we find him.
A boy my age needs a strong german influence.
I just got off the phone with Heinrich's publicist.
She's going to get him to come!
He has a publicist?
- How does she even reach him? - Word of mouth.
She said, "I'll tell two germans, "then they'll tell two germans,
and he'll be here sometime on Wednesday...
or Thursday."
So this freegan... he eats trash,
even when it's not a dare?
I have a cousin who eats out of the dumpster.
We never gave him a fancy name. Mm.
People, Heinrich is a true visionary.
I get goose bumps when I think about how tiny his carbon footprints are.
And to think I'll be able to share my conservation ideas with him.
Gee, Helen,
it looks like your guest is a no-show.
Maybe he got confused and wound up on another street
of nondescript tract houses.
Or more likely, he's just not coming.
Oh, I'm sure he's coming.
I think I see him!
He's walking towards us!
Keep it going, everyone.
I think that's just a dog.
No, it's him!
Okay, one last time, everybody.
You said he was rugged,
but you didn't mention he had a Steven seagal ponytail. Hubba!
Uh, hello, Mr. Mueller.
I'm Gerald Goode. This is my wife, Helen.
We want you to know that we are committed
to making this block party as low-impact as possible.
Of course you are. There's always a Gerald. There's always a Helen.
You're always saving the planet.
Yes! Tell margo that.
She's the greedy materialist with the red shirt and the short hair.
Well, as you can tell from my handcrafted model,
we're trying to do our part to make a little difference.
Yes.
It looks like you are making a very little difference.
M-maybe I should explain.
Don't bother.
You, with your multiple tablecloths and freshly inked t-shirts...
This party is but a foul orgy of excess and wastefulness.
Shame on you.
Mm. It's not a total loss.
I can use this cardboard as my shoe and be on my way.
- Uh, but... - I know germans
aren't famous for their good humor,
but I'd say he was severely disappointed.
Heinrich, wait. Please, you can't go.
I promised everyone you'd be there.
You're the key to making this an eco-conscious event.
I must continue trudging across this horrid, godforsaken country,
every step more painful than the last,
until I die in front of one of your big-sav marts
and am packaged and sold like everything else in the US of waste
Mr. Mueller, I know none of this is up to your standards,
but you can teach us to be better.
That's why you're here, right?
Yes, please, stay with us!
We don't have much, but what we do have, we throw out.
Eh...
I have sacrificed so much already.
Who am I to start living for myself now?
My walk will take a detour into your den of excess.
Oh, yeah! You can stay in my room and be like my big brother!
I call the floor!
I was thinking of getting a windmill for the miniature golf course
that can power the cotton candy machine.
And what about all the time and materials used to make this windmill?
Do you think it was manufactured by magical fairies
at the good intentions factory?
- Um... no. - We're gonna serve organic caramel apples
that were grown in our very own yard.
- Try one. - I hate to be what you Americans
call the "gloomy gus," but I can't eat anything that was grown,
harvested and caramelized
when there is so much food that has been thrown away.
You could have just said,
"no, thank you."
If I was a bourgeois hausfrau, yes.
But I draw sustenance from what others consider refuse.
So you're basically
a talking raccoon.
Check it.
Hours of fun!
How was your garbage? Would you like some salt?
No. I make my own.
Wow.
I never thought of harnessing my body's own resources
for seasoning.
Ah, I have so much to learn.
And... and we can stay up all night!
Heinrich, have you ever kissed a girl?
It's a little dark in here, ubuntu.
There's a light right there.
Unfortunately, I don't turn lights on.
You see, electrical power is merely another unnecessary extravagance.
But if you were to turn it on,
I would have to live with it.
And if someone had tivo'ed "Housewives,"
I'd have to watch that, too.
Sure, we have a lot of eco-friendly ideas for the party, but
Heinrich thinks we could do even better.
How about we use gray water in the dunk tank?
What's gray water?
Oh, it's wonderful.
Now let's brainstorm.
All earth-friendly ideas are welcome.
I could set up a petting zoo for gutterball.
I'll just hand out some liability waivers, and we'll be fine.
What if we turn our house into a haunted mansion,
troubled by an overconsuming ghost
who has leaky faucets and badly insulated windows?
Great idea!
But just remember, we don't want kids to be too scared,
just gravely concerned.
That's a horrendous idea.
I've heard enough. This is a putrid circus,
and you are the craven ringleader!
I love this guy!
And as much as I've disappointed you,
I've disappointed myself even more.
Maybe next time you'll thinkbefore you try to inflict a party on others.
Gerald, all due respect to the bum on your couch,
but why the hell are we listening to him tell us how to throw a party?
The black is right.
Who am I to challenge your wasteful ways?
I only left behind my wife and six children
to try and absorb the sins of your country through my selfless and soul-shatter.
Heinrich! Why don't you come with me to one earth?
They're sponsoring the block party.
One earth is crap.
Corporate sponsorship is crap.
- Your block party is... - crap?
No. It's the sputum of an ignorant village.
You're right, mr. Mueller. But it doesn't have to be.
Please believe me. I want to do this the right way.
Show me how. Fine. Then come with me.
Before you go, I need to throw out my phone number.
Here. This is the biggest party supply store on earth.
- It is? - Yes.
That pile of mattresses... that is your bouncy house.
You can fill that old, Rusty tub with leaves
and have your beloved dunking booth.
You see?
- I... I suppose. - No, you don't.
You are blind. If you want to heal the earth,
you must truly commit,
even if it involves sacrifice.
I sacrifice. I haven't bathed in hot water in seven years.
Oh, excuse me.
Let me call the wife and eight children I left behind,
to tell them about your tepid baths.
- I'm sorry. I... - Do you want to change the world, Gerald?
- Do you want to be good? - Yes!
- Yes, I do! - Then bounce with me, Gerald!
Come! Take my hand.
Play in the bouncy house!
Hey, Heinrich, can we play catch now?
- Instead of that, why don't you call your friend "my mom" on speakerphone?
Oh, God!
Morning, Helen.
Penny! What are you doing here?
I dropped by to see Heinrich last night.
He reused me three times.
What are you doing?
Heinrich and I are having a picnic later...
in your bed.
Ugh. Mom!
Someone took our garden.
What the hell?
Heinrich! Who are all these people?
I put you on the freegan hot list.
You don't mind sharing all your ludicrous excess, do you?
Gerald, where have you been?
You're supposed to be working on the party.
I am, and Heinrich gave me a bunch of super ideas.
This mattress can be our bouncy house,
and that old fridge can be a fort for children.
No, they can't! Heinrich was supposed to make this party great,
but instead, he's destroying it.
Well, I've had enough.
If I have to hear him say, "it's free o'clock!"
One more time, I'm gonna snap. I was once misguided like you, Helen.
You need to change the way you think. It's easy.
Take my hand. Bounce with me.
All right, Heinrich. Time to continue your walk,
spread the word. Off you go.
There's nothing I'd like more, but I can't.
Your overconsumptive lifestyle has infected me.
Even your rubbish is too rich.
It has given me gout.
He doesn't have gout.
Oh, no. What have we done? This is terrible.
You must go on, Heinrich. Your walk is too important.
Of course it is, but there's nothing I can do.
Oh, I'm sure you can suck it up. Now come on. Get up! Go! Shoo!
Helen, stop.
This is all my fault, Heinrich.
Not only am I not good enough,
I'm making you worse.
I'm not a good enough person, but I know how to be.
Even if it means abandoning the block party and my family,
I know now what I have to do.
I will continue Heinrich's walk... as a freegan.
This is ridiculous, Gerald.
You're just going to abandon your family?
Please, guys. I'll just walk until Heinrich feels better.
Uh, dad, I don't want to rock the boat here, but you have a job.
Yes, but now I have something more important...
a calling.
But who will I open jars for?
Please don't make this harder.
I need to make the kind of sacrifices Heinrich was talking about.
Do you think it was easy for him to walk out on two wives,
six or eight kids and a mountain of debt
to spread his message of hope and criticism?
What about the block party? You've worked so hard on it.
This is your chance to be good,
to influence everybody while they're having fun.
Yeah, that's before I realized that fun produces a lot of waste.
Dad, you know this is asinine. Don't hold back now. Do something!
Son, if you really feel like you have to do this walk,
could you, uh,
return these movies for me on your way?
Gerald!
So, bro,
as soon as your foot gets better, dad can come he.
So hurry up.
The gout is a fickle mistress.
There's no telling how long she will have me in her sway.
Could be years.
Aw. All right, bliss. Grandpa's gonna teach you how to roust a bum.
Get him, grandpa! Work his kidneys!
I buckle! Yeah.
I can't get any leverage on this goon.
The only way to get this guy out of your house is to torch the place.
There are some pros and cons to that one.
Hello, guys. I'm a freegan.
A freegan is... aah!
Oh, I see you already know.
I'll save this for later.
So wait. You telling us Gerald's become a Freedman now?
Freegan. And worse than that, he's a road freegan!
He's taken up Heinrich's walk.
Oh, my God! What are we gonna do?
I don't want to have a block party without Gerald.
Yeah. Who are we gonna make fun of?
Well, to get Gerald back, we have to get rid of Heinrich.
Oh, you want to get rid of him now?
But when he called me "the black," that was okay?
I told Heinrich I loved him...
and he dumped me!
I was dumped by a man who doesn't throw away anything!
Ooh, this garbage is warm.
I haven't had a hot meal in a long time.
Daddy!
We miss you. There's no one to sing me to sleep.
And there's no one to gently deflect my sarcasm.
Gerald, come home! Your family needs you!
Blah, blah, blah. Let's go hit a dung pile.
You know, che, I thought I was gaining a big brother.
But instead I'm losing a father.
Come on, boy! Let's go somewhere the freegan isn't.
If before you leave you happen to turn on the computer
and Google "haircuts of the stars"...
Heinrich, there's someone here to see you.
I told you, Penny, I'm in love with my ideals.
Even your name reminds me of commerce. We are through.
Actually, we're not. I'm pregnant.
I've never heard of a case of gout clearing up so quickly.
It still pains me, but not as much as your wasteful...
Since I had a fake pregnancy, can I have a fake baby shower?
Look! It's Gerald!
Heinrich, I had to stop the walk. I couldn't do it.
- Of course you couldn't. - Dad!
Gerald, are you okay?
I am now.
Heinrich, I realized I can't make the sacrifices you can.
I can't leave my family. I-I'm not as good as you.
I hope you're not disappointed.
I am pretty much at the same level of disappointment as when I started.
Go, you, back to your selfish family and horrible life.
Your selfish family couldn't be happier to have you back.
Ugh. Ubuntu, hose your father down.
Great block party, guys. Thanks!
Well, maybe it's not completely waste-free,
but it seems like people are having fun.
And look at the difference you've made.
The recycling bins are half full,
we're sold out of meatless corn dogs,
and dad hasn't stolen anything!
It's our best block party ever.
You're right, helen. But I guess the old saying is true--
compost starts at home.
Transcripted on Addic7ed.com by chamallow35 www.addic7ed.com