- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
I am ready to spend the rest of my life with somebody, 130%.
- We went to therapy. - Therapist gave up on us.
She fired you.
Let's play house, as lesbians do.
Don't go into that small suitcase 'cause that has my dildo.
If anybody's gonna fuck this shit up, I feel like it's the two of us.
I thought you were stopping at "fuck."
I felt I've loved her before I even knew her.
I was so not expecting it.
We're all learning things about ourselves
and our relationships and what we want.
- And don't want. - Yeah, and don't want.
You wanted to marry me, but you fell in love with someone else.
You guys slept together.
She led my hand to her vagina.
You want to see us fight for you
so you can see, "Who died for me? Who didn't?"
If you think you're gonna get married after this,
you have your heads in the sand.
I've been wanting a connection with my ex.
I just don't understand how it has taken this long.
I'm fucking done with this shit!
This is not what I want in a marriage.
There's three outcomes here.
Marrying the person we came with,
marrying someone else,
or breaking up for good.
I'd love to start living our happy life,
but I also know I need to be chosen.
I don't want this shit.
I want to be married.
It's not the roses and the walking down the aisle,
as much as I love to dress up.
My dream is a once-in-a-lifetime commitment.
I want to get married, bring children into the world with this person.
I'm ready, but she's not.
You just want somebody to be like, "It's you. You're it for me."
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be married.
That's why I'm issuing an ultimatum.
I gave an ultimatum.
I am issuing my partner an ultimatum.
We either get engaged or we're done.
I'm ready to find love in the most beautiful way.
I want to find somebody that I can be with for the rest of my life.
Hello, everyone.
Oh my God.
- Hi. - Hi.
I am JoAnna Garcia Swisher.
Whoo!
Is it correct, you're not queer?
I am not.
- We're happy you're here. - Yes!
- Unbelievably gorgeous. - You are so beautiful!
Thank you. Goodness.
- You're literally glowing under this tree. - Thank you.
- So sweet. - Looking good.
I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you.
But tonight you're all here
because someone in your relationship has issued an ultimatum.
One person is ready to get married right now,
and the other isn't quite ready yet.
By show of hands,
who in the relationship issued the ultimatum?
Okay. All right. Okay.
Let's get into it. Let's get to know each other.
- Want to start here, Xander? - Of course.
Vanessa and I have a... a great life together.
It has so much fun involved, and I love that. I love that.
I'm like, honestly... Every day I'm like, "Thank you."
Vanessa and I met when we were seniors in high school
and our boyfriends were best friends.
Fast-forward five years.
I went to a taco truck.
First, I asked if she was still dating her very long-term boyfriend.
And then my follow-up question, "Are you gay?"
I had not come out to anyone except for my best friend.
So I guess I felt comfortable enough.
"Yes, I am."
Four years later, here we are.
- Your high school boyfriend blocked you. - He did block me.
I feel that we have a connection that I'm never gonna find again.
And I don't, honestly, want to look for it again.
But I want to be married, and I'm not sure
if Vanessa's willing to do that or not.
I love you so much, but I never envisioned a long-term relationship.
I don't want permanency, and I don't want stability.
I want freedom.
And that's not really what marriage consists of.
Giving an ultimatum means, at the end,
if she's not ready yet, you will walk away.
As much as I love our connection... I... I want children.
It may be a little selfish,
but I am willing to walk away because I care about my future children
more than I care about anything else.
The terms of the ultimatum are very clear.
You will either leave here engaged, or you will break up.
And, of course, it's possible that along the way you'll see a future,
and maybe even fall in love with someone new.
Yoly and Mal...
Who's issuing the ultimatum?
Yoly? Okay.
Yoly and I first met during Pride about three years ago.
She was a men's stylist at Barneys.
I asked for her Instagram
so I could continue asking for discounts at Barneys.
That's really it.
I knew I loved Mal when I got sick with the flu.
She took care of me.
She put Vicks VapoRub on me. Like, real rough on the neck.
And, oh, I just love her so much.
Like, I want you to choose me.
I need to feel that.
It's been three years.
We talk about being married often,
but Mal has expressed to me that she wants
to have the money for the ring,
money for the house, money for the kids, money for the kids' education,
before even taking the next step.
- She's a Virgo. - Mm-hmm.
And I'm just like, "I just want to be with you."
Yoly, she wants kids right now because of her age.
But it's not about if I want to marry her. I want to.
I don't necessarily feel like I'm in the place
to provide for her like I want to provide.
Down payment for the house,
exactly how much it is gonna be, like, to do in vitro.
At what point are we joining this journey of life together?
I wouldn't put up with anybody else's bullshit for this long.
What's holding you back?
I knew her as a friend before as a lover.
Every time she's talked about another lover, it's been very similar.
You've talked about your lover's so great,
same tenacity, same boisterous way.
So I'm just like, "Why? Why me?"
I wanna figure that out.
Yoly falls in love with wherever she's watering the grass at.
And that is scary.
Eight weeks, however many weeks from now,
you could come back and be like, "Mal, I know I told you,
'You need to marry me.'"
Then be like, "I actually don't know.
I'm in love with this other person."
"I really don't know now."
I do want marriage, but I just want her to be really sure about me.
Sorry you feel that way.
I feel like I've found my person.
I want you to feel confident in me and in us.
And it takes a lot for you to feel confident in us.
True.
I... I don't think it's possible for me to find another better person.
I don't think we're gonna break up. I think we'll choose each other.
I think.
What's making you so emotional now?
Ultimatums suck.
We've been at this for three years.
And, at the end of this, we could just not be together.
You lose the person you thought you were building a life with.
We're both alphas, and we're both very, like...
If this is done, I'm not gonna chase her, 'cause I respect boundaries.
And she's not the type of person that speaks to exes.
That sucks.
Or it's the beginning of the future.
- Thank you for that. - Cheers to that. Yeah.
So committing to marriage is... It's a huge deal.
And there's a lot of reasons why people say that they're not ready.
But, if we're all being honest,
it often comes down to one question.
Is this person
really the one person that I want to spend the rest of my life with?
Or could there be someone else out there that could be a better fit?
Well, in this experience you're gonna get a chance to find out.
You're currently strangers,
but each of you are compatible with multiple people here.
Your only focus over the next week
will be deciding which of them you think could be marriage material.
And then, at the end of the week, each of you are gonna get a chance
to choose someone that you think embodies
what you look for in a spouse.
You'll move in together for three weeks
as a new couple in a trial marriage.
And then you'll do the same thing all over again
with the person that you arrived with.
Tonight is your last night as a couple.
Mmm.
No.
Tomorrow morning, you'll break up and become exes.
Shit.
At the end of this experience,
each of you will decide what your future holds,
whether you leave here engaged, single, or newly in love.
Choosing the person you're gonna spend your life with is
the most important decision you will ever make.
But, for now, enjoy your last night as a couple.
I will see you in one week at the choice.
Cheers to love.
- Cheers. Cheers, y'all. - Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheers, everyone.
I'm very excited to begin dating new people.
People fall in love with me pretty easily.
It's like, "Game on."
Mal.
Cheers to our trial marriage.
They're cute.
I'm not ready to see Mal explore other people
and enjoy other people.
But, I mean, I'm willing to process that,
if it means at the end of this we're sure as hell about each other.
- Bye, friends. - Bye.
Bye. We'll see you soon. I hope.
This experience is the craziest thing that I've ever done.
Either I leave here engaged to Vanessa,
I leave here single, or with someone else.
No matter what, this experience is gonna change my life forever.
- You ready? - Okay, that way, maybe?
Lexi, other way.
No.
God! Fuck...
Okay.
- Cheers to the last night. - Cheers.
I'm wondering how it's gonna feel talking to other people, and, like...
Like, do we flirt? I'm curious to know.
I haven't been flirted with by another woman in a while.
You don't know how to flirt.
I don't know if you were good at flirting when we started dating.
That's fair.
When I first met Rae, she was trying to booty call me.
I learned she's a bit of a boobs girl.
She's got a lot of what I like.
I'm sorry, parents.
- Oh my God. - Oh boy.
It's okay. My mom doesn't know how to work the TV.
I love Rae more than I think I ever will love another person.
We've been together for over three years now,
and I really want to marry this girl.
My mom plans weddings, and my dad's a jeweler,
if that gives any hints.
You're the person I've been sleeping next to for the last three years.
I get, like, one last night of cuddles.
Oh my God, stop it.
I do love you.
Come here.
We grow up envisioning this, like, picturesque, like,
running down the street, screaming the "I love you,"
and, like, "That's my person," but...
I don't know... if that exists for me.
Hearing you talk about this, like, picturesque thing,
this perfect thing that you see...
That makes me think about, like,
what your expectations are and, like, I just...
I'm not gonna live up to them.
You know, I'm not gonna live up to perfect.
We're just...
We're not perfect, and we're never going to be.
But I'm scared you don't know how to be okay with that.
It's scary thinking, like, that you could be more sure
if it was someone else.
I hate to use the words, like, "I've given you an ultimatum,"
because I don't want...
I don't like the idea of feeling like I pushed you against a wall,
but, you know, I hope that this experience gives us clarity.
You're so sexy. What the fuck?
Have another drink.
It is a year and 11 months
since I met your beautiful, fine-ass self.
I actually found her on an Instagram hashtag.
That's really embarrassing.
The hashtag was "lesbian Latina."
I was lonely, single.
I wouldn't say thirsty, but a little parched.
I, of course, DMed her and...
We just never left each other after that.
I want to be with you in the future.
So I hope that this experiment helps us determine
whether we want to move forward with that.
- Whether you want to. - Yeah.
Because I know I do.
I gave Tiff an ultimatum because, you know,
I don't want to toot my horn, but she really likes what I do in bed.
Yes, ma'am.
Tiff knows I bring a lot to the table.
I think the sex is just a plus.
I love and hate
that Mildred is spicy as hell.
But who wants to date a boring person?
- I already miss you, babe. - I already miss you too.
If she wants to keep this spice in her life,
she needs to put a ring on it.
Yeah, that's how it is.
We make each other happy in the moment,
but it's really hard to see clarity when it comes to a future with you.
And I want to be married now.
Do you just want the concept of marriage with someone?
Or are you leaning more towards
the concept of marriage with someone special?
What are you after?
I believe that everybody wants
to be in a relationship with someone special,
but if this person is not on the same page as me,
then this person can't move forward with me.
- Mm-hmm. - So I must let them go
and find who is actually on the same page as me.
And at the end of this experiment there has to be a decision.
Yeah.
I guess it just doesn't seem
that real.
Not discrediting your... your feelings.
It just doesn't seem that real 'cause so many times when we break up,
or majority of the times you break up with me,
I feel like you throw me away, and then two days later,
not even two days, sometimes two hours later,
you... you want to get back.
I understand that, but this is not another one of our breakups.
I won't come back after this.
I love Mildred so much,
but I'm not ready yet to commit to marriage,
because Mildred and I's communication is horrible.
We'll be great one week and then the next week we'll break up
because we just shove all our problems under the rug,
and we're back to the same bullshit.
I don't want to go into a marriage having these issues,
but I also feel like I don't want to lose her.
And it's hard. It's hard.
I care about you. I love you.
I think you're sexy as shit.
I just really hope that,
through meeting other people,
that we can really, truly find connection with each other.
I think this is your opportunity, because I'm ready.
Whether it's with you or alone or maybe with someone else.
Do you want to... work your way over here for a little kiss?
- Do you want to... - Yeah.
Mildred's already been married to a woman.
She's had a wife.
She's had a family.
She knows exactly what it is she wants.
It makes me feel extremely pressured and uncomfortable,
but Mildred is right.
And Mildred does have a right to know
whether we are going to leave each other
or whether we're gonna move forward together in a marriage.
- This is it. - Yeah.
Deep down inside, I know we truly do want this.
We do want a future with each other. We just don't know how.
And hopefully I'll find that how.
But... I can't make any promises.
And...
I just want you to know that, you know, regardless...
I will always, always care for you.
I care for you too.
I care about you a lot.
At the end of this experience, I'm gonna have to make a choice.
And...
I feel like it's gonna be the biggest choice of my life.
I feel like I literally...
just lost a part of me.
But, if I could choose right here, right now to marry her,
I still wouldn't.
- I'm gonna miss this. - I know.
Who's gonna wake you up? My goodness.
I don't have anything to wake me up now.
Now that you're not gonna be next to me.
You're gonna have to learn how to use this alarm clock here.
I am.
When we first touched hands,
it was like something that you see in the movies.
It was almost like the universe brought us together.
Time stood still.
Yeah, it was just magical.
Like, butterflies and rainbows and unicorns, and it was magical.
- Actual butterflies, I think... - Yeah.
- No, there were. - Oh yeah.
So last night was our last night together.
It was really special.
It was.
I am ready to get engaged, have a ring on this finger.
I am ready to get married.
The idea of marriage to me is really like that ultimate commitment.
You also get to wear some flashy bling,
which I'm not opposed to at all.
I want to live with you for five years,
and if this is meant to be, where I want to go to that marriage state,
then I'm open to it.
Five years sounds like a long time.
I've been waiting for, like, ten already.
Oh my God.
I just feel so... I'm so, like...
Like, anxious right now.
- Yeah. I can see it. - Like, my heart is... I know...
Breathe.
I feel that she is the one. I'm just...
Like, my... my processing takes longer than her.
I'm hoping this will accelerate that.
You kinda have to.
I know. Oh God.
- It's not really a hope. It's like... - Okay. Yeah.
It's like a "have to."
- I know. - Yeah.
You're gonna have somebody on the other side of the bed.
- I know. And so are you. - Weird, huh?
Weird, yeah.
Good luck to you and that person.
I'm gonna miss you, boo.
And I'm fully participating in this experience.
So, you know, you be you and do your thing.
- Didn't even give you a hug. - I know. Big hug.
You're gonna get through this.
And whatever happens, no attachment to the outcome.
'Kay.
I did give Aussie the ultimatum.
And I fully stand by it. Um...
I just know that it is the right thing for both of us.
It definitely feels real now.
And I knew that this is when all the emotions were gonna come out.
Just a lot of sadness.
Let's do this, boo.
This is gonna be different.
I don't want to spend time without you.
Yeah.
Like, we haven't spent more than,
what, like a week apart in three years?
Yeah, and it was hard.
It's gonna be super weird to see you with... anyone else.
And obviously, like, I cannot picture you with someone else right now,
and I can't picture myself with someone else,
but if that opportunity comes and feels natural,
let's both feel free enough to explore that.
It's so shitty to say, but... but, let's not hold ourselves back.
We thought this was a good idea. That's why we're here.
Commit to it.
I kind of don't want to do this anymore. Let's just be together.
But that wouldn't solve anything.
That brings us right back to where we are right now,
where you want to get married, and... and I don't.
But I don't want to.
You're having commitment issues, I think, Xan.
You think so?
You know, don't get mad at me if I like someone.
Right?
You know.
I'll definitely be jealous.
You've been so committed to me for so long
and known you want to marry me and be with me forever,
which is terrifying.
But give someone else a shot
and see if maybe the connection you have with me
is something you can see yourself having with someone else.
I don't want to be away from you.
You're a sucker.
I love you.
I love you. Ten more minutes, right?
I think I have to go.
I want you to be able to get to where I'm at.
I want you to take this seriously.
I will.
You have to let me go.
- I love you. - I love you.
Last night I fell asleep
next to the person I want to get married to.
And this morning I watched them walk right out the door.
And that sucked, but I think everyone's in the same boat as me.
We're all kind of getting used to this idea of calling someone our exes
and being in this weird dynamic
where we haven't been single in forever.
I am literally here in my cutest bikini,
and I'm going on dates with eight beautiful women.
And, as weird as that is to say,
I'm here, and I'm doing it,
and I am living in whatever this moment is.
So why did you give your ex the ultimatum?
I just want to feel chosen. I just feel like you're not...
My thing is I want you to be like, "Hell yeah."
This is gonna sound really weird,
but, like, I'm super into tarot readings and stuff.
The fact that my now ex, Aussie, is going to be dating other people,
I don't know how many feet away from me...
I'm just gonna kinda go with it.
- Hello. - Hi.
It's really rare that you go out and you find this many women
that are focused on marriage and commitment.
Whether you were the ultimatum giver or the ultimatum receiver,
we're all thinking about marriage in some capacity.
- What do you play? - Basketball.
- Come on. Yes. - Okay.
I played in college. I've also dated my teammates before...
- Oh no. - ... so I know what that looks like.
- You're one of those. - Right.
Normally, you go into a date and it's a lot of small talk,
whereas here you're, like, deep diving
at the first question you're asking
because we're all trying to get to what you want in a partner.
What you don't want.
I'm more of a doer. Like, you do or you don't.
I'm laughing only because you sound like my ex.
I issued the ultimatum, and I'm ready to commit.
And I want to be with someone
that I know I can spend the rest of my life with.
This beautiful pool with all these ladies,
it's like going to Dinah Shore all over again.
Where's my drink?
So we're on this date.
Yeah. I know. You feel it?
- I have to say... - I'm not mad.
... you're the most masculine person I've ever been on a date with.
- Fair. - Fair enough.
I think for now. You might find out later.
- You might do your hair different. - It's different.
- This is cool, though. - Yeah.
- Traditionally, I don't date masc. - Yeah.
- But I'm also like, "Fuck it." - Eh.
- We're here. I'm grown. - Yeah.
I might have way more in common with you than anybody.
- I know. Yeah. - So I'm like, fine.
We'll figure out who tops and bottoms another time.
- I love it. - For now, we're good.
Whether you dress more masculine or more feminine
or somewhere in-between,
I try to be more open-minded.
But when it comes to the basic logistics of each other,
I'm a picky person.
So a deal-breaker for me, it's like...
I can't get down with a girl
that flat up eats a juicy, raw, fucking steak.
I really want to not eat meat, but...
Interesting, definitely interesting.
- What's your take on having a child? - Yeah...
Uh, no, not... not really my forte.
Um...
That's a dealbreaker for me.
On to the next one.
You're young. You're young, right?
- Yeah. I'm 24. - You're 24!
Gosh. Oh no.
- Did you get the ultimatum or someone... - I gave.
You gave the ultimatum. Okay, so you are ready.
I am ready.
- You are ready to go at 24. - Yeah.
As far as characteristics or qualities I see in a potential partner,
I do want someone that is really good at communicating with me,
and I want someone to validate my feelings.
I also want someone that can keep it spicy
and keep things interesting and keep me on my tippy-toes,
'cause I get bored as fuck.
I love your hair, by the way.
- Thank you. - It's awesome.
Oh God.
I haven't gone on a date in four years, but here we are.
I'm ready.
I'm gonna get a drink, or five,
and then I'm gonna date everyone I can.
I'm gonna date you and you and you and you
and everyone I can, you know, get my hands on.
- Hi. - Hi.
Welcome to our date.
Hi.
You smell so good.
Oh, thank you.
- What do I smell like? - You look so good.
Thank you.
- What do you look for in a partner? - Vibes.
Fuck. That's what I would say too.
Yes.
- Vibes. - Vibes.
Mal is strikingly good-looking.
You're August 26th. I'm August 26th.
I always say that if I found a clone of myself, I would date them.
Do you think people would think
we're clones of each other if they saw us?
I mean, yeah.
- We look alike. - 1,000%.
I don't want someone who's just all into work or...
- Good. Yes. - I love adventure, taking risks.
That's my biggest thing.
Oh my gosh. She's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
... know where that is.
You're telling me that you date pillow princesses?
No... Um, not always.
- Mildred is not a pillow princess. - She dates pillow princesses, everybody.
- Mildred? - No, no, no, Mildred's not. Mildred's not.
Um, but I have before. I have.
She is beautiful. She's a feisty little thing.
So how are you today?
I'm feeling good, but it feels weird.
I can see what Vanessa's doing.
I definitely have not processed everything and, yeah, I don't know.
Yes, that's where everything is happening.
One thing I'm not doing is looking to see if Tiff is looking at me.
Because I'm looking really good.
And I don't want to sound cocky, but I know she's thinking of me.
Thank you so much.
Last time I was in the dating world, I was mainly dating men.
So this is like a huge change for me.
I'm feeling happy and good about it.
It's bizarre.
Oh my gosh.
- What are you drinking? - Tequila water with some lime.
- How about you? - Aperol spritz.
I want to make sure. Lexi wants to get married, right?
- Lexi is giving me the ultimatum. - Yeah. Xander's giving me the ultimatum.
- So we both got it. - Same. But you don't want to get married.
Well, it's not necessarily that.
I think it's just, like...
It's such a big deal for me that... that it's scary to commit to.
The idea of being with someone forever scares me, you know?
- Definitely. I think most people... - Right?
- I don't know... - Apparently not for our partners...
That's the thing that I don't get.
How do you get to that point where you're so confident
in saying, "You're my partner forever"?
I thought you didn't want marriage. How about kids?
Definitely kids.
I would love to host a child in my belly if my body allows it.
Um, what about you?
I have a specific scenario for kids.
Tell me. What is it?
So me and my partner, like, we have the same sperm.
'Cause I want the mutual father.
- Sure. - And then I will have her embryo in me.
- Whoa! Yes. - So I have a connection.
And then the other one, she'll have mine.
That's like a total transfer.
Wow. That's a wild thought.
So what do you look for in a partner? Do you have a type?
- Great question. - Is this your type?
Well, first, I'm pansexual, so for me...
it doesn't really matter, gender-wise.
And I don't know if I have a real physical type.
I like someone who's confident.
- I mean, that's sexy and I like that. - Yes.
Someone who knows what they want.
Because I think I'm not like that sometimes.
Not that I'm not confident. I feel like, in a general sense...
I have a good career, a good head on my shoulders,
good family and...
- You're pretty. - Thank you, so are you.
I guess you can't say that.
- No, I can't. Like, "Hello." - "And I'm pretty."
I am shy, but I feel like I like someone
who can bring it out in me sometimes.
Was she the first girl you've dated?
Um, seriously, yes.
I had a girlfriend in college, but it lasted like a month.
Now that I've found the word pansexual,
I really feel like that's my vibe.
Cheers.
- To get some clarity, oh my God. - Yeah.
- I don't even know what time it is. - Yeah, same.
I mean, literally this morning we all woke up with our partners.
- Yes. Yeah. - And now we're single.
Does it feel real?
- No. - Kind of no.
But knowing that our girlfriends...
our ex-girlfriends are over there laughing... I can hear them.
I don't know how you're gonna be awake
after having another one of these...
You're so right.
So we should laugh a little bit louder and...
Throw each other in the pool.
Yeah.
So tell me about you.
I love being outside and pretty much always moving.
The first thing I noticed about Lexi is that she is...
She has this amazing...
I am also pretty active, but I do love a good movie day.
- Yeah, that's huge. - Yeah. I don't know.
Just... I don't know how to say it. Her appearance is extremely sexy.
Lexi knew what she was doing picking the bikini she picked.
I don't know if people are gonna be talking to her or talking to them.
But they're honestly hard to hide, so...
There's no blaming her for what she's got going on.
Um, okay. What makes you a catch?
Ooh, what makes me a catch?
Wait, how about this?
Tell me what makes me a catch. I'll tell you what makes you a catch.
But I don't know anything about you yet.
Cool. Okay.
I'm gonna not look at your boobs because I know they're already great.
I'm really looking at you. You're beautiful.
She's hot. Did I say that? She's hot.
Your eyes look like...
melted chocolate?
I think?
You have a bubbly personality.
Um, I'm going to imagine that you are athletic.
Very, yeah.
You seem like you could talk to anyone.
I think that's a really great thing.
Okay.
- Those are the things I know so far. - That was spot on.
- Oh, fantastic. - Yeah.
Should I make another guess? We'll see if it's right?
- Your favorite color's green. - No, blue.
- Mmm. - But I do like green on me.
- Cool. - It was a good start.
I also like yellow, so I'm enjoying the bikini.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Um, you're also super bubbly.
I can hear you talking elsewhere, and you just...
- I'm loud. - No, no, no.
Your energy is awesome.
It's helping make this experience...
'Cause amidst all of the weight of this...
Yeah.
... you need the light. You definitely have that, like...
Wow.
I'm so glad we went this route.
- Yeah. - Keep telling me. This is amazing.
- Great smile, by the way. - Thank you.
Artsy more than sporty?
Definitely not sporty.
Artsy more than sporty.
Throw me into a sport and I'll just do some somersaults.
I don't know what I'll do.
- But you'll have a good vibe doing it? - Yeah.
- I'm getting somewhere. - You're really good.
- Well, cheers. - Cheers, yeah.
Thanks for playing that game. It made me feel good.
- Good. - I hope I made you feel good.
You made me feel great.
Even though you told me my eyes looked like melted chocolate.
No, I'm kidding.
- So beautiful. Chestnut! - Chocolate is good.
I'm amazed at how well I am connecting
with pretty much every single one of them.
Their hesitation is not necessarily based
on the fundamentals of marriage,
but rather, "Do I want to marry this partner that I'm with right now?"
I see value in marriage for a lot of reasons,
but, for me, I'm searching for that
real emotional desire to get married,
and that's what I've been lacking.
I feel like I'm always taking care of things now...
- Interesting. - ... in my relationship with Xander.
I don't want to have to fight battles for another adult.
Interesting. Because I am younger, and I...
- You're 24? Right? Yeah. - Yeah.
I have my shit sorted.
I am a protector-provider-type.
"Do you need me to call the doctor?
Do you need me to get this together?"
Because I feel like I have to in my relationships.
- Or else it won't get done. - It won't.
There gets to be a point for me where it's like,
I'm... I'm exhausted of always being the one
that feels I need to do that for someone else.
I get that.
And I have not dated anybody who's like, "I can get this done."
- Yes. - Not even just for me.
But for themselves/us. If that...
I totally, totally get that.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
I came here because I wanted to marry Rae.
I still feel that way.
But I think I'm seeing that there's other outcomes in this process.
I feel like, when I first saw Vanessa, I thought we were gonna clash
because we have very extroverted personalities.
But as I'm talking to her more, I feel very comfortable with her.
There's flirtiness and fun, and, like, it's coming my way.
So it's totally weird.
- What are you drinking? - An old-fashioned and water.
Okay, I'm a Manhattan girl.
- Yes. - I will tell you this.
- I make a freaking phenomenal Manhattan. - You make them?
What? You're amazing.
- Are you a Virgo? - No, I'm not. I am a Capricorn.
- Are you a Virgo? - I am.
I've actually been told I do really poorly with Virgos.
That's not true. That's actually your soulmate.
Whoever told you that was trying to keep you away from Virgos.
Oh, so probably just a crazy ex.
For sure.
- Virgos and Capricorns are the match. - Really?
- All right. - They're both grounding.
- Cheers to already finding it. - Hey, our work here is done.
I got issued the ultimatum.
- You did. - It got put on me.
- You were the issuer, if I remember. - I was, yeah.
- I'm the attacker. I'm the bludgeoner. - Yeah.
Um... it's a timing thing for me.
- My parents've been together 45, 50 years. - Wow.
They didn't get married for the first ten years.
You don't have to rush into these things.
Mm-hmm.
The other part of that is my "ex" loves really hard.
She's a serial monogamist.
Every relationship, she's super invested in.
I don't feel different than them.
- So you wonder... - If you want to marry me,
I want to know why I'm so different than where you've been.
- So yeah. - Yeah.
Part of me is annoyed with the ultimatum
'cause I'm like, "You're putting it on me,
but I kinda am unsure about how you feel."
No. That makes sense.
My ex, when we talked about our relationships...
Her problems didn't change between me and the last girl.
- Right. - And that's frustrating.
Because it does scare me. It makes me wonder, "Am I different?"
I feel similarly. Except you're the one who issued the ultimatum.
I know, so I'm the asshole.
No. You just know what you want.
My parents have been married for 25 years.
Sweet.
You know, nothing was perfect.
It wasn't always easy,
but they love each other and they've gone through life together.
I... I think no relationship's perfect.
It's about being a team.
It's not 50-50 all the time, but it's about working through it.
- And we gotta grow. - Yeah.
I'm gonna work through the hard shit with you. It's you.
- Yeah. - That type of thing.
That's interesting. Yeah, I think... I feel the same way.
Every single conversation I'm having with everyone
goes to another level.
It's been really awesome.
Vanessa is funny. She's quick-witted.
It's fun. It's easy.
But Lexi and I...
She's talking about family dynamics. That's one of my core values.
I didn't expect to have a connection so fast,
but I would absolutely love to explore more connection with her.
Go deeper.
Want to just do the three weeks now?
The last time I hung out with this many women at one time
was right before Yoly.
- Hello. - Hello.
- How are you? - Good to see you.
You too.
So...
So what are some things that you want from this experience?
Being... Both of us are the ones that issued the ultimatum.
Right.
I am excited for an outcome.
I kinda just want to know yes or no, essentially.
I totally feel that.
I want it to be a "hell yeah,"
or if not, then I'm okay with letting that go.
Right.
It sucks, but I want you to be like "hell yes" about me.
I would love... How great would it be to hear,
- "Oh my God, I have to have you." - Yeah.
- "You're the love of my life." - Absolutely. Act on it.
Yeah.
I don't feel like I've gotten that, which...
Damn.
Don't think I'm the worst person.
Right, right, right.
- You're like, "I'm not terrible." - Yeah.
After today's round of dating,
it's really good meeting people who gave the ultimatum,
just 'cause it's, like, an affirmation of, like,
"You're not crazy for expecting your partner to kind of show up."
"And here's someone like Xander who matches your energy."
Like, it... it feels awesome.
This date is the best one I've had.
We're drinking tequila.
- Yeah. - You're ready.
Listen, I would say yes if we were gonna spend the night together.
- Oh my God. Take it back a step. - Sorry.
We haven't even moved in together yet.
- I take it back. - Don't take it back. I'm okay with it.
Everybody grab a drink. Over the fire.
Cheers to this wonderful experience that we're all going through.
And cheers to love. Cheers to marriage.
And hopefully we can all get our shit together.
- Wow. - Yeah!
- I don't know where my drink went. - Oh yeah.
I feel like we're at a lesbian club and all our exes are here.
No, I guarantee we would not be this happy.
It's weird. It's weird seeing your ex looking hot.
And then to be single and dating around.
It feels very uncomfortable,
but I want to keep pushing myself forward
to give me the answers that I need out of this process.
I have a question you guys might not want to answer.
Um...
Would you guys be willing to tell everyone who your number one was?
Maybe... Maybe Yoly?
No.
Don't worry about it.
- Are we jealous? - That's aggressive. I can't.
A great question.
If Vanessa wasn't here, I would have dated everyone at this table.
Whoa!
Ooh.
Hostility, sarcasm, jealousy, it's just in the air.
And I feel like me, being born and bred in Jersey,
I've got that in me. Game on.
Okay, no one else? Nothing else?
What I'm excited for is my new relationship with...
with Mal.
And you be best friends with Mal,
then we'd have threesomes occasionally.
Sounds very uncomfortable.
I'll join that throuple. I'll be a part of that.
Can we do that?
Can all three of us be married together?
It's not legal, but it can be consensual.
We can be okay with that.
They're both cute.
I think it would be best if this experience just became
like a polyamorous orgy, and we're all like, "Okay."
That's kind of how I feel.
I like how you guys are like, "Let's do it." I'm like, "Hold on."
It's just... I feel awkward for that.
Do the awkward dance.
It's a small world out there.
- It is a small world. - It really is.
The lesbian world, I feel like. Especially if you live in one area.
- You hang out with the same people. - Even a big city, it doesn't matter.
It's really weird seeing my ex at the cocktail party
because I know my mom bought her that dress,
and I want to give her a hug and tell her how pretty she looks.
Should we go find our own little cozy spot?
Absolutely.
- Should we go to that fire? - The fire.
But I deserve the person that is gonna tell me I'm the one.
I think when you're surrounding yourself
with people who also have marriage on their mind, it's fun.
I kinda told you, you are not my typical type.
I can't believe you're wearing jewelry
and playing with your hair, and I'm into you.
I don't understand it.
It does tend to have that effect on people.
- It's this really weird situation. - Yeah, right.
Like no other time in our life.
You couldn't pay to have this happen to our lives again.
You could pay me.
- I could pay you? - I have a rate.
Good to know. What are we talking? Hundreds? Thousands?
- Is this a Pretty Woman situation? - You are a sugar mama.
You would definitely be 100% more successful than me in life.
That's good. I mean, if I make it,
then at least I have somebody to spend it.
I'll spend it.
Oh no, I'm sure.
- You are throwing me for a loop. - Good.
I swear, I think I've been referring to you as a curveball.
Like, not that... If you don't catch the sports reference, but, like...
- Baseball? Softball? - Baseball.
And I've been thinking about it a lot more than I would care to admit.
Same.
Too often.
I feel like every time I talk to you,
we have one of those "whoa" moments.
Like, "Whoa. Why did this happen?"
But, like, you're unexpected.
I feel like I came into this and was like, "I know myself pretty well."
But you were, like the one that I just didn't think...
So what are we gonna do?
- I don't know. - Okay.
I think I objectively say,
I would like to go on a date with you tomorrow.
Absolutely same.
I'm so happy you wanted to go on another date with me.
There's definitely something there.
I don't know what to make of...
I don't know what to call it, but my situation with Vanessa.
I think there's maybe some comfort that I can tell she feels the same.
We just...
We don't know what the hell it is about the two of us,
but we both just kind of, like, hit each other on our asses.
I feel like there's no doubt in my mind that it'll be fun.
But, like, I'm not sure if living with her would be madness.
Like, I don't know what to do.
- There you go again. - To learning things from each other.
I need a lime.
Mind if we move over there?
Let's do it. Yeah.
What a... What a fun thing.
You are someone that I never thought I would be interested in.
Not because you're not beautiful. You are stunning.
But I just didn't think you would be my type.
But when we were sitting on the towels,
I was like, "Oh my God, I like this girl so much."
- No, I'm not joking. - No, I know. I'm sorry.
- I'm serious, like... - Me too.
That means a lot to me.
Yeah. I think, same here. I think there's a little bit of, like...
confusion for me.
I'm curious about you.
I think... we're trying to make a connection here.
I think, any time I date someone, there's a nervousness to it, right?
- We could continue to figure this out? - Okay.
A second day together.
Somebody want to break up our exes?
Who?
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