THIS WORLD CAN'T TEAR ME DOWN
They're killing us!
...killing us!
Hey, buddy!
We all have one sworn mortal enemy that stays in our life forever.
Like France and England in the 100 Years' War.
Mine was Simon the moron.
This resentment was born from a simple misunderstanding.
One Saturday, we were at Eugenia's house,
where all the parties were held because she had a huge living room
and her parents didn't give a shit.
We were doing something that was similar to studying,
possibly even perfecting Isaac Newton's theory of gravity.
We were throwing wet toilet paper from the sixth floor.
The most normal thing in the world.
But that day, it wasn't normal toilet paper.
It was the Roll of Destiny.
ROLL OF LONGINUS FATUM
So, with the precision of a sniper
that only destiny could have,
perhaps guided by God himself
or the Virgin Mary of Toilet Rolls of San Vito Chietino...
I hit Simone Luchetti,
known sore loser from Tiburtino, square in the head.
A feud began that extended into our crews.
Almost every Saturday, we'd provoke each other, fight,
look at each other with suspicion,
make truces and then break them
because we were dickheads.
A huge mess that went on and on.
There was this constant tension
since neither party was militarily able
to put a definitive end to it.
Until Cesare came along.
Cesare was the atomic bomb that compelled everyone to stay quiet.
The ultimate deterrent.
With Cesare, I felt like the driver of Steel Jeeg.
Nothing can scare you when you're driving an 800-ton giant made of steel.
Of course, there was a question that popped into my head sometimes.
Why you, of all people?
Doesn't it seem odd that someone bigger and crazier than anyone
has made it their mission to protect you?
I've thought about it.
Maybe it's because I give him the one thing he can't get himself.
A space where even an 800-ton robot
can show its weaknesses, from time to time.
TO MY FRIENDS DON MATTEO
Let me explain.
I didn't know Cesare's friends that well.
They were older and ran in other circles.
Coffee shops, testosterone, coke, and slot machines.
A slice of humanity with emotional intelligence
that deviates from romanticism in literature.
Danielino tells me you like Marzia.
Are you an idiot? I don't like her, I just fucked her.
Well done! "Fucking" is for men, "liking" is for fags.
And "love" is for women.
Let's say that, in the suburban food chain,
they were the predators at the top of the pyramid.
Showing weakness meant being downgraded and getting mauled.
Understandably, Cesare adapted to that standard.
But with me, he could be different.
Partly because in the food chain, I was the Muppet frog.
And partly because Sarah used to tell me...
Zero, look after that kid.
Don't treat him like he's only good for beating people up.
He's messed up. He's more sensitive than he looks.
So he used to tell me things like...
I think I'm an idiot for dropping out of school.
I tried to get him to understand that it was okay.
Even people on the street recognize the value of education.
There's always time to go back. You could go to night school.
There are loads of ways, if you want to.
You can say these things to the others too.
It's normal to have doubts.
We don't have to be tough all the time.
Get it? With me, he felt comfortable with his vulnerabilities.
Because although we came in two decidedly different packages,
him in an armed tank, me in a salmon trout,
inside we had the same insecurities.
He had them even worse than me.
So I tried to get him to open up to the rest of the world.
To lighten this burden of having to be the big bully
who was only good at fighting.
As though the role the others had given him
was the only one he could play.
That's what big robots have to do. They don't go to Montessori schools.
One day, he was acting stranger than usual.
Then he said...
I had a strange dream, but I don't know if I can tell you.
I wanted to say...
Now you wanna tell me about your fucking dreams?
The dreamlike dimension!
Who are we? Michel Gondry?
But then I remembered Sarah's warning.
Look after him, I said! Otherwise, I'll slap your ass!
So instead, I said...
Do you really still think like that?
It's a dream. Everyone has them. It's not a weakness.
You're being very hard on yourself. Come on!
No, it's that I dreamed about people...
People I know, even my friends, you know?
That's normal. When you dream, you process things you experience.
Those are the ingredients.
It's just that... everyone was around me,
and I was, like, on my knees. It was a strange situation.
You need to understand the symbolism.
Why were you on your knees? What does that mean?
That's also why you need to tell people.
Maybe it's something to do with your relationships.
It might help them loosen up too.
Then...
they cum on my face.
Yes... Well... Oh God...
Okay, don't tell them. I don't know, maybe they're open-minded.
But to be on the safe side, I wouldn't risk it.
Oh, I'm not a fag. I like your friend Sarah.
I've already fucked. With a girl, I mean!
Easy! A dream doesn't dictate your sexual orientation.
And anyway, it's not like if you find out you like boys,
or boys as well as girls, you need to feel...
Oh, I don't like boys, for God's sake.
That dream disgusted me, okay?
Okay, I was just saying.
Did they at least give you the lottery numbers?
We could try playing them.
Because apart from numbers, I don't know shit about dreams.
I just said that to defuse the tension, but it's true, I didn't know shit.
Maybe none of us knew shit about it.
I felt confident going to Eugenia's house
because my friend was huge and no one could say shit to me.
But then I'd spend three hours standing over the mini pizzas,
immobilized like Han Solo frozen in carbonite.
Because what was much worse for me than getting slapped in the face
was being seen dancing like a jerk.
Or worse still, ending up talking with that French chick
who made me go all red. My psoriasis would flare up,
I'd sweat, and look as gross as a boiled crustacean.
I think we were all messed up and confused.
Some were holding onto the big Japanese robot armor
because they were too scared to look at what was inside.
Others were trying to be brave,
holding their breath and putting their heads underwater
to see what was below the surface.
We are just here to
support the just cla...
claims of the residents
and the Italian people.
Next Wednesday, the city council will be held here, among the people.
And we'll tell them loudly that the shelter has to close!
- You need to leave! - I'll smash your face in!
Yes, I live across from here.
We can't take any more.
We don't need any more foreigners. We need work, we need to be safe.
I want my 70-year-old mother to be able to go out on her own at night
without being scared of running into one of these thugs
who don't work and think they're entitled to everything.
If you have a heart, be here on Wednesday!
- I swear, I'm in shock. - I told you he was a dickhead.
You've been excusing him for 20 years.
One thing is saying he's a dickhead,
and another is him becoming the Nazis' spokesperson.
EVENING DRIVEL
So, since the start of this story, I know you've been thinking...
Why is he saying "Nazis"?
What year does he think it is, 1945?
He's like grandad who thinks
a bomb siren's going off when the microwave pings.
No, I'll explain it methodically.
In this country, "fascist" used to be a terrible slur.
Now nobody gives a shit anymore. They say...
Well, he's a fascist, but he's all right.
- A bit like saying... - Well, he's celiac.
A bit of a pain when you eat out, but no big deal.
Nazism, however, is the last bastion
still struggling to find space in the democratic market.
Maybe thanks to Jewish people still a bit weirded out by this Shoah thing.
So, basically, for me, if you think that the Axis should've won WWII,
you're a Nazi, the end. We don't care exactly in which year
you were allowed to beat people up and torture them with castor oil.
I guess I'll go talk to him.
It won't help. You'll waste time that we could use to eat ice cream.
How do you know?
I know because it closes at one.
I went, but outside his house there was absolute chaos.
So many journalists, and he was the star of the show.
Like Angelina Jolie on the red carpet.
And in the middle of all these vultures was Mauro Crocodile,
from the show I was supposed to go on.
We have nothing to do with those bombs that were thrown last night.
But that happens because people are exasperated
and ready to take to the barricades in this area.
I was disgusted by this scene
because I could tell they were looking for a freak show.
Like when they ask me those morbid questions...
What can you tell us about the outskirts as someone who lives there?
What are people from the outskirts like?
- I say... - They're normal people.
Some are crazy, some aren't.
It's not a sentient blob with one brain that thinks for everyone.
But they're not happy with that, because they're obsessed
with the fact that the outskirts must be full of monsters and barbarians.
And the more folkloric and ungrammatical and tattooed
the monster is, the more they have to show it.
It's King Kong.
It's King Kong when they bring him to the continent.
Look how huge his nostrils are,
enabling him to smell his prey from far away on his island
and sniff copious amounts of cocaine,
making his jawbone swing
like a galleon through the waves.
It made my heart bleed to see Cesare being treated like that.
I waited for the circus to leave, and then I steeled myself.
In the end, all I said was...
Ces, can I talk to you for a sec?
What? Let me tell you.
If you want to thank me, there's no point.
If you want to lecture me, even less of a point.
I'm not gonna lecture you, but you're fucking up. Don't you see?
They have a hand up your ass.
You're talking like a ventriloquist's dummy.
No, I would have said that if his arms weren't as big as my rib cage.
I tried to take a wider angle, to get there through the Socratic method.
Look, I know you're doing this in good faith,
but they're not nice people.
You poor guy, you don't know because you've been gone for 20 years,
but these people...
Don't treat me like a moron!
Those are the only people who have listened to me since I've been back.
They're using you because they need your help with their shit.
Right. So I should listen to you instead,
who came to me crying that you work too much?
Or that other bitch who hasn't even bothered to come say hi?
- Well, I know, but... - What do you know?
What the fuck do you know?
You make money with your stories
with so many morons applauding you.
You know what it's like when no one gives a fuck about you?
When you're just an ex-addict,
and people can't even remember who the fuck you are.
You're just a ghost in a shitty, godforsaken neighborhood!
What the fuck do you know about this shit?
What have those 30 poor people got to do with our shitty lives?
I don't give a shit about those 30 poor people.
I'm mad at everyone else,
the state that supports them, and gives them money and homes.
I never got given shit!
What are they getting?
Can't you see they've filled your head with this bullshit?
Fuck off. You've pissed me off.
I know you're not like this. Let's go back to the Socratic method.
Go away, for fuck's sake, or I swear I'll kill you!
Maybe when he was a zombie on heroin, I could have taken him on.
But now, he'd have squashed me.
Let's say that a generic spirit of self-preservation
persuaded me that the discussion had come to an end.
That's it, fuck off. Get the fuck out of here.
He came to lecture me, this piece of shit.
You're confused, aren't you?
I don't know. I was thinking about what he said to me.
The bit where he said he'd beat you up,
or the one where it wasn't smart to explain how to get by
to someone with issues that you don't have anymore?
The second.
I'm not sure if I have the right to tell him certain things,
or if I should keep quiet.
I don't know.
Don't ask me. I can only tell you the risks.
The risks of what?
The risks of embodying the most unpleasant and mysterious tarot.
Master I Fucking Know it All
I don't want to school anyone.
- I'm not the master... - For example.
From my loft in New York,
I'd like to bestow my sophisticated advice on how to live in the suburbs.
I don't talk like that.
I never said you did.
I don't have a loft in New York either. I live 100 meters from him.
I'm telling you the risks of looking in from the outside.
Do you have a guilty conscience?
We have to love each other. We are all brothers.
Please excuse me,
I have an interview with Cosmopolitan and a series for Netflix.
Blessed are ye who are in line for benefits.
What a beautiful day. You might get a tan.
You've done the voice. Anyway, I'm not that much of a dick.
I keep a low profile. I stay at home working.
It's not being a dick.
You've got to ask yourself if you have the right to lecture someone.
I don't want to lecture anyone.
Basically, I need to mind my own business all the time.
Yes, you can mind your own business.
Here's the risk.
Yeah, you know, I had ideals,
values, hoodies.
But now I've made cash!
I'm not flushing it down the toilet for a few tramps who came on a boat.
Nazis read comics too.
I can't burn half my audience.
Your mom is right, you know.
Dear son, you are a shit.
What do you mean? First I'm not qualified to talk,
and now I'm a shit if I don't talk?
Your mom said it. I'm just telling you the risks.
The choice is up to you.
Stop being so damn cryptic! What do I need to do?
The changes in society and the growing attention on gender issues
allow us to see how the phrase, "getting fucked in the ass"
has some critical issues.
Because it associates anal sex
with unfounded and discriminatory negative connotations.
So?
So, you need to find another phrase that means the same thing.
I was right, wasn't I?
What does "right" mean?
It's not something we can judge in this manner.
So I was right.
Yes, it went badly.
He's really one of them now.
He's stubborn. There's no reasoning with him.
Wanna get an ice cream to celebrate me being right?
I was going to get my 40th ice cream of the week when I heard...
Zero! Secco!
It was our Pterodactyl Friend.
Let me explain.
Our Pterodactyl Friend is one of those people
who is particularly active locally and driven by noble ideals.
I represent those people as dinosaurs
because I think they're cool people,
and dinosaurs are the coolest thing in nature.
Also because they date back to a time
when Mother Nature cared.
There's a cool documentary on Netflix
with all the interviews and original recordings.
Yes, back in those days we did wonderful things.
We even had a bit of a creative design idea.
We wanted people to see them and say,
"Wow, why wasn't I born a dilophosaurus?"
Then we might have got a bit complacent.
If I had to pinpoint the start of the decline,
it was when we got stuck with the monkeys.
Look at that ugly baboon with its red bum hanging out,
making those stupid noises...
What is the point?
I don't even remember why we were hell-bent on these animals.
You look at them today and think, "What?"
But we were always stoned back then. It was confusing.
Here, look.
Horses.
Some sort of peacock.
What a mess we made!
FATHER TRAGEDY SINCE CHILDREN HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA...
Well, anyway, as well as being as cool as dinosaurs,
they share the fact that they are...
Are you sure you can say this?
Yes, to explain that they're...
Not extinct, but let's say, witnesses of an era...
Why do you want to antagonize the only people
who might not want to kill you after they've seen this series?
No, I'm saying
that they're heirs to a tradition that has now partly faded away...
Have you talked to a professional about this?
Have you discussed that when something goes well,
you start doing circus tricks to ensure it turns into a shitshow?
MASTER IN SELF-SABOTAGE
Fine, anyway, they're dinosaurs.
So we said to our Pterodactyl Friend...
I meant to call you. Have you seen what these shits are doing?
I've seen, yeah. We had a meeting about it last night.
Are you guys coming tomorrow?
What's tomorrow?
We're going to head down to the town hall to tell them
they can't do everything the Nazis say.
Next Wednesday, they want to hold the town council outside,
so all the Nazis in Rome can come
and make it look like people want to close that shelter.
We have to say that it's unacceptable to give them that space.
Today, that piece of shit Mauro Crocodile was there,
interviewing all those liars.
You know he's going on the show next Wednesday?
Mind your own fucking business.
Really? Well, it's great you'll be there.
- At least you can say something. - Yeah...
I don't know what scope I'll have.
It's up to you. We trust you.
Surely you won't stay quiet
after that Muppet said he wanted to send us to jail, right?
How many of you are coming?
We're counting, since loads of us have work in the morning.
Uh, us, so two.
We're not Gremlins. We don't multiply if we get wet.
Why don't you call your friend Sarah too?
She seems switched on. We'd have an extra body.
Do you know who your friends talked with?
Who had this idea?
No, I don't know. I had a meeting.
And where was this meeting?
At school, with other teachers. We had loads of shit to sort out.
Can we have a word?
So, what can we do to help our DIGOS colleagues?
They've just called from the hospital.
- One of them is badly hurt. - How badly?
I wish I knew how to respond, Tonelli. I really do.
Do you know why? Because that would mean I'm a doctor.
And that day in September, I had listened to my mother.
And now in the mornings, I'd be going around the wards asking,
"How are you today, Mrs. Bianchini?"
Instead, I spend my life watching Instagram stories of people I don't know
who are now familiar to me,
crossing my fingers that eventually they commit a crime,
to make sense of all these hours of cats and sunsets.
Couldn't you have minded your own fucking business?
I don't know what to do with that show.
Why? You told me you wanted to say something.
Yes, but they're things I say when I get delusions of grandeur
and feel guilty because I have visions of Sandrina rotting in jail.
Anyway, they told me that I can't say a damn thing.
What do you care? It's live.
You can say what you want. They can't cut you.
I don't know if I have the guts to cause a scene on live TV.
Why? Do you think Crocodile will freak out?
Or that he's so crazy he'll attack you?
I don't think he'll ever attack you live on TV.
No, I don't think that he'll beat me up. He's a gentleman.
But this is something that could cause a mess.
Anyway, if he attacks you, take Peppe spray.
As soon as you see him about to attack you, spray him
and punch him twice in the face. Boom!
Except it's "pepper spray." Pepper.
Like the vegetable. Not "Peppe," like short for Giuseppe.
Peppe spray.
- Pepper, with an R! - Peppe spray.
Anyway, he's the anchor. He can't beat people up on live TV.
That's what I'm saying. He can't attack you, that's impossible.
But I could be in the audience with bombs.
Just give me a signal.
I did it at my cousin's wedding.
I brought the church down because she didn't want to say no.
Do you, Antonella, take Maurizio
to love and to cherish...
I googled it. It's not bullshit.
FIRE IN A 14TH-CENTURY CHURCH
I'll call Sarah
and ask her to join us tomorrow at the town hall,
or she'll get offended.
Yeah, ask her. What do I care?
She didn't answer, and I was glad.
I'm always glad when people don't pick up
because it earns you "ass-covering points."
I actually note them down, so the next time she says...
- You never pick up the phone! - I can say...
October 20th, 2019. Fourteen rings, and then voicemail.
Put it in your pipe and smoke it.
Have a look and see if there's anything new on the local news.
- If not, we'll meet up tomorrow. - There's a video.
Due to this shelter, the school is depo-populating.
This school is at risk of closing.
The pre... prereg... preregistrations are opened,
but no one signed up.
And the parents don't want their children to spend time
close to a place that causes degradation,
where these people hang around.
Yes, we also have some teachers from this school here.
Let's ask them what they think
of this story and these requests.
Boom! It was Sarah!
I didn't even know that was the school.
But then I thought it was obvious.
Sarah is always there when she's needed.
It's almost like she's summoned whenever I mess up.
She puts the pieces back together.
Basically, she's the person who keeps my life bar upright.
Bye-bye, Crocodile!
I'm going to get the popcorn ready
and watch her make them look like shit
and send them straight into the trash.
I... I don't know.
I think these are very delicate situations,
and politics shouldn't exacerbate them.
What's she saying? She seems... a bit shy.
What does "exarbate" mean?
But the schools in working-class neighborhoods are important.
And if the only way of keeping them open is to close the shelter,
maybe that's what needs to be done.
Just think, if you always had a go-to person,
a beacon that reminded you where you needed to go.
You could be lost in the dark, in a storm,
you could be completely abandoned...
But you knew that whatever happened, that beacon was there.
And you relied on that beacon so much
that you built the whole village, your whole life around it,
taking for granted that it would always be there.
Stop it, will you?
Then one day, suddenly...
So you'll come to the special town council meeting next week?
Yes. If we need to, we'll be there too.
And you're left in the dark, in the middle of the debris.
Subtitle translation by: Luisa Zamboni