[Italian rock music playing]
THIS WORLD CAN'T TEAR ME DOWN
["A New Error" by Moderat playing]
YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO STOP EVERYTHING!
SPY-DERMAN
COMIC BOOK STORE
ARCADE
[voice on game] Rebibbia!
Stay calm now.
That's it, dominate.
Block them. You're the one who's in control.
Here, have yerself a grape.
Keep your muscles loose. You've got to relax now.
Relax. Had a drink?
Hydrated? Had your mineral salts?
High punch, low punch. Yeah, you got this.
- [groaning on game] - [Armadillo] He's got nothing on you.
Turn forwards and punch. Turn forwards and punch, come on.
Behind. In front. Kick! Behind you!
Forward, kick! That's it! That's it!
Yes, splatter him now! Splatter him now! Yes!
[voice on game] You win!
[Armadillo] Win this, you're in the final boss.
Concentrate now. Crush his mucus membranes.
You've been waiting 15 years for this.
Splatter him now! Yeah, splatter him!
Turn forwards and punch!
Get up! Get up, you bastard! Get up now! Block!
Low kick! Oriuke!
- Yes! Yes! Yes! - You win!
You've been preparing for this moment your whole life.
Spread your wings! Do it for your granny, Calcare.
Do this for her since you sold her dentures to get here.
Let's make sense of all this pain.
- Final Fight! - [Armadillo] The Gods' Twilight!
Start in three...
two, one.
- [man] Do you mind if I join you? - [Gollum-like rasp] It's my precious!
- Hang on, I'm right in the Gods' Twilight... - Thank you.
[beeping on game]
[voice on game] You lose. [laughter]
[man] Sorry, can you give me space? It's the final boss?
You know that expression where you're sitting on the riverbank
and a mattress goes past with your enemy's body lying on it?
Well, this is what it refers to.
When there's a huge guy, who'd smash your face in if you said anything,
it's best just to sit on the riverbank and wait.
Get comfortable, it can take a bit of time.
But maybe in 60 years, he's gotten old, fallen over, broken his femur.
You see him going by, and scream,
"You little piece of shit, I was in the Gods' Twilight!"
Why would I say something? Isn't he dead?
Yeah, that's why you say it 'cause he's dead.
My riverbank, however, was always ever the arcade.
I never strayed far from there.
I kept throwing money at it for the whole afternoon.
Still a loser and feeling frustrated,
and without even one token to finish that level.
But then something very strange happened.
Of all the mythological beasts that inhabit the arcade,
and I have no idea why he did, but he chose me.
What was that expression from the Gods' Twilight?
Whenever we were picking teams, I was never picked.
I was always left on my own next to that dog with no hind legs,
dragging itself along on wheels.
We'll take the dog!
If you leave us with that loser, you owe us a head start
to make up for it.
- Ow! - ["Don't Look Back in Anger" playing]
[Zero] Okay, maybe there weren't that many people there at that time.
Apart from me,
there was just Emilio the perv, toxic Osso,
and that Filipino man with facial tics
who was blowing his whole salary on the slot machines.
But he had chosen me.
He gave me the token that I was missing. We finished the game together.
Oh, we were more than blood brothers.
It might very well have been the first time in my life
that I felt privileged.
["Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis continues playing]
[Zero]Yeah, you could say I didn't understand how privilege worked.
But at 14, if you're not Angela Davis, what the fuck do you know?
♪ So Sally can wait ♪
♪ She knows it's too late ♪
♪ As we're walking on by ♪
♪ Her soul slides away ♪
♪ But don't look back in anger ♪
♪ At least not today ♪
The next morning, everything was normal.
When I left home, I thought, "Let's just get this over and done with."
I'd run out of yoghurt. That's all I needed to buy.
I left my car in a specific designated spot
called "parking like a prick,"
'cause I thought, "I'll be in and out, the supermarket ninja."
"Go in, get yogurt. Pay."
"You won't even see me. I'll be like a breeze in your hair."
I can't remember exactly what happened,
but at some point, I must admit, I let myself go.
[strained gasping]
As I approached the checkout, a lady said...
"You do know there are baskets behind the counter?"
[Zero] She might actually have said...
You know you're going bald and you're a real arsehole?
[Zero] Because her gestures and non-verbal communication
could have been taken both ways.
But I think she was talking about the baskets 'cause they were there.
I did think about it for a moment.
After all, I had got more things than...
You're gonna get a basket 'cause that old bint told you to?
Can't you see she's doing it on purpose to wear you down?
- It's like the serpent and the apple. - [hissing]
- Lady, keep your fucking nose out! - That was a bit excessive.
Listen, baskets are for old gits.
It's like going round with a sign that says,
"I'm an old codger who can't carry a couple of jars."
It's like a wheelie case.
When you sack your backpack in favour of a wheelie case,
you've turned into the old dear from Downton Abbey.
Old, haughty, seems very nice on the telly,
but in real life, you'd push her down the stairs.
I agree, but I've given myself 45 hernias with my backpack.
You do know that hernias are a concept that only exist
'cause Big Pharma invested in the wheelie suitcase sector?
Days gone by, you had backache, you popped an opium pill and fucked off.
But I can't. I've got this straight edge thing going on.
But look around you.
Can't you see that a shopping trolley is a symbol for parenting?
This puppet show of people who go around with a stroller,
taking their goods for a walk.
Come on, how sad! But you're still a young lad.
You're 39. That's not for you.
Don't get ahead of yourself now. Come on, do the right thing!
[Zero] All this is to say that people looking at me
didn't seem that strange.
I thought, "They probably envy the fact that I'm a Jenga champion,
and I've built this obelisk of yoghurt, sausages and packets of pasta."
- But instead... - Zero! Me, it is, Maddalena.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
She could've said so right away! It was Maddalena, Cesare's mum.
I'd not seen her for donkey's years, but she does live here.
She's been in Rome for 60 years,
but she still talks with this Sardinian accent
that's not cultural but genetic.
You can't get rid of it. Maybe they can operate, I dunno.
Anyway, gotta lotta respect. Sardinia's great. Great revolution.
I can't do the accent though.
I end up sounding a bit like Yoda, so don't be offended.
[eerie space music playing]y
[Zero] Whatever. Syntax aside, She's a true Jedi knight.
[coughing]
So, you saw each other again yesterday, you did. Told me himself, he did.
- Happy was he. - [Zero] I don't know what she said.
Because 15 yards from me, a little boy sneezed
and moved the air in such a way
that it compromised the stability of my installation.
SODA
[Zero] I got scared.
This shop assistant with a weasel face hates me
because every time I do this bullshit of not getting a basket,
I drop everything.
Two months ago, I spilled 70 litres of peach yoghurt on the floor.
He had to clean it up without saying shit.
And I'm sure his boss said to him...
Sit tight, lad. The Law of Discount Shops says we can't say owt to the customer
the first two times.
The third time, you can gut him with a fish knife.
[Zero] This is the third time.
I can see him waiting and caressing something in his pocket.
So maybe help him, you could. Give him a hand, maybe?
Help him with work, you mean?
How can I? I draw comics. I work at home on my own.
I really do have a sociopathic job with no human contact...
Oh, no. Just more at home help him feel.
Out and doing things get him.
Because a bit lost, he is.
A lot of years gone by, they have.
So maybe when out you go, call him, you can.
[ominous music playing]
[Zero] That's worse! What am I going to do with him?
I swear I'm not being malicious,
but I really don't know how to look after people.
Every time someone says to me...
I'm coming to Rome. Where are you taking me?
I get anxious. I'd rather shoot myself in the knee.
[gun cocks, gunshot]
[Zero] Do they think I am an entertainer at Club Med?
Do I have to dress as a centurion,
take you to the Colosseum with a ball on my nose?
I'm pretty boring. I don't drink, don't sniff coke.
I always suggest the cinema 'cause you don't have to talk.
Settled, then, it is. This evening, come for dinner, you can.
Got all I need, I have, to make Sardinian seadas.
Yeah, 'course I can come and eat at yours. It's the only thing I'm good at.
Oh, thanking you, thanking you.
Cesare very happy, will be.
I'm sure that good to him, it will do.
[Zero] No, look, really, I'm happy to.
Guys, I'm begging you, don't leave me to do this on my own.
We've not spoken for almost 20 years.
I don't know what to say to him. Please come!
I've got loads of work and shit I gotta do, sorry.
I got a meeting tonight that I really gotta go to.
[sighs heavily] Oh, that sucks! Is it for your school thing?
Look, I love you very much.
But I told you one thing, and 12 hours after that, the problems start.
I'm not superstitious, but you're a bloody sniper.
- One shot, one kill. - [caws loudly]
Let me scratch for luck.
Oh, come off it, we're not in the bloody Middle Ages!
No, jokes aside, I don't believe in these things. You know that.
But it costs nothing to wait until everything's sorted.
It might be because I talked to my Grandma.
She loves old wives' tales...
You talked about it with that black cat who makes comics?
That one's worse than Fukushima, I'm telling you!
If you care about this job,
you need to rub two ounces of garlic on his face
and shove a stake through his heart.
Your grandma never really liked me, did she?
That's because she thinks you and Secco are bad influences.
Sweetheart, they made you sick with your sexual tendencies.
Why do you keep going out with those two?
So tell me, then. Do you know where they went next?
No, I don't know where they went. I left them.
I'd had enough, but it wasn't an excuse.
You didn't hear them say what they were planning to do?
What d'ya think I am? Their carer? They're 40-year-old men!
Because I'm a woman, I must have a caring job?
Is that really the culture in our police force? Bravo!
Anyway, I had my own shit to do. That's not so unreasonable.
- Fine, Secco, can you come tonight? - No, Cesare does my head in.
What do you mean? You haven't talked to him for 20 years!
When someone does my head in, they do my head in for 200 years.
That's 180 to go.
Okay, so it's true that in general,
Secco's feelings have very long expiry dates...
[documentary-style voice] ...b ased on the life expectancy
of whales in Greenland,
which makes him incredibly loyal, but also incredibly resentful.
[whale moans]
[Zero] I actually think there was a bit of jealousy brewing.
The kind you get in friendship dynamics when there's a new element.
You can feel a bit excluded.
You know, those bittersweet moments from adolescence
that have something tender about them, but no one wants to admit it.
Like the boy in Stranger Things with the bowl cut
who cries because his friend fucks Eleven.
[sobbing gently]
Are you jealous, then?
Are you scared that he's gonna be my new best fwend?
[mock cries] I'll leave poor little you all on your own?
- Come on, don't be an arsehole. - I really don't give a shit.
I don't believe you. You're just jealous!
Don't. Give. A. Shit.
Whatever. At least come to tear down those shitty posters
that they put back up outside the tube.
They weren't the same. Look, I took pictures
'cause there's a crazy archivist ghost inside of me. Here.
These said that along with the Nazis, there would also be residents.
the neighbourhood parents' committee.
A whole thing that looked like real people.
It drove me out of my mind.
Hey, I'll go crazy if I can't find out who the fuck is supporting this.
Ah, well, I think you need to ask that person.
[Zero] That person!
I don't know how things work elsewhere, so I'll explain how they work in Rome.
When you see an outraged citizen turning on foreigners, the degradation...
Often, we're talking about people trafficking and dealing,
and they get pissed off
because someone from another country is treading on their patch.
Then they go targeting random people.
The ones caught in the crossfire usually have nothing to do with it,
apart from having the wrong skin colour.
Only the war between Italian and foreign dealers
doesn't do well in electoral campaigns, so they sell it to you as...
The exasperated Italian who can't take any more of this.
A symbol of that small old world
where nobody locked their doors.
...making them angry at all the foreigners
who've invaded us, pillaged us
and stopped our kids eating pork for their school dinners.
That's not the case for the 30 poor people who just arrived.
Maybe they're a pretext for settling other scores.
But what the fuck do I know?
[clicks tongue, sighs]
The truth is that the only way to really find out more
was to go and ask that person,
by going down into the depths of society into that molten darkness
abandoned by the state,
where the only law that exists is survival.
[tense music playing]
[booming voice] The restaurant world.
Hey, guys, tell me quickly as I clock back on in ten minutes.
Today the kitchen is on fire. There are two of us and 70 bookings.
They're as hungry as the devil's locusts.
- [man] Get more puttanesca! - [cat yowls]
Lemur friend, let me ask one thing.
Know anything about residents forming a committee
against the refugee shelter? Are you dealing with that?
I read that too. I don't know anything about it.
I don't talk to certain people at all.
Us casual workers in the leisure industry, subject to prohibition, have a group chat.
But no one has said anything yet.
I don't think there are any conflicts of interest on that score either.
My lemur friend is great.
I'm in a police station, you can't have these conversations here.
But once, I met with a very important government official,
who I'll represent here as a white swan for the purity his words expressed,
who told me...
[posh voice] Oh, Zerocalcare.
We would like to use your characters in an institutional campaign
against horrible things and against nasty people,
because I believe
they are positive examples for our children
in this world of corruption
where everyone talks about drugs and getting high.
I swear, I'm no crackpot.
He really asked that. I realised that for him,
human beings under the age of 40 fall into two categories.
On one side, we have heinous drug traffickers
who shoot grannies and throw puppies off flyovers.
[puppy yelping]
- [tyres screech] - [gunfire]
And on the other, angelic Girl Guides who work all day
and help toads cross the road when they clock off.
I said, Look, sir, that isn't what it's like in the real world."
"It's more complicated."
"It's true that there are monsters,
but I have a friend who works her arse off at the local shop
but then deals hash because she doesn't earn enough to pay the rent."
- "It's not all black and white." - [clears throat]
So, my son is right that when you say "ice cream,"
it's really code for "ketamine," hm?
Guys, sorry. A huge table has just arrived. I really need to go.
It's like a war in here!
They're like ISIS, but with Miley Cyrus instead of the Koran. Bye. Bye-bye, bye!
- [hubbub in distance] - [chef] Hmm.
[distant sirens wailing]
Well, we've learned nothing. I gotta go for dinner at Cesare's.
- Sure you won't come? - Yeah, in 180 years' time.
I'll put a reminder on my phone.
[squelching ring tone]
It was the producer of the cartoon. I had to take the call.
- [squelching ring tone] - [sighs heavily] Hello?
[producer] Zero! How are ya? [sniffs deeply]
When are you sending summing?
Hi. Uh... look, I've basically done the preliminary sketches I told you about.
I thought I'd sent them to you. It's just a matter of time.
It's not true. I've not done shit.
I was lying like a cheap rug.
In three days' time, I'll send an empty email and say to him,
"You didn't you get it? Maybe the attachment was blocked.""
That way, I get an extra week.
It's all a balancing act
between psychological wear and tear and the breaking point.
Can I just give you this?
[Zero] My Italian teacher at school is still waiting for my essay.
[solemn piano music playing]
Can you check? He said it might've gone straight to spam.
Oh, send them. Everyone's so excited!
[sniffs] There's a lot of enthusiasm, of electricity!
I've never seen the team like this.
Apart from maybe when we made that boootiful documentary
about Koalas' retractable penises, which we later took to Venice.
[playful music playing]
- [koala] Surprise, motherfucker! - [unsheathing]
[gasping]
Well, uh, I wanna send them by the weekend.
That way we can start showing something, if that's okay with you,
seeing as I'm being interviewed by Mauro Crocodile on Wednesday.
Of course! We're sending you there to launch the project!
We'll create all the hype! The hashtag is ready to go. [sniffs]
Uh, I actually have a bit of an issue with that show.
I wanted to talk to you about it,
since there is this very direct relationship...
Of course! We have to talk about it all.
We're friends who are building a dream. [sniffs]
Brothers of destiny, not showbiz bureaucrats.
[sniffs, inhales deeply]
[sirens wailing]
Well, I really wanted to talk about the cartoon, obviously.
But on the show yesterday, they did a thing on Dicksville
that was really brutal.
They were asking people to send my friends to jail.
I wanna be able to defend...
[inhales] Look, you mustn't add anything. I get you, it's bootiful.
[sniffing] We like you exactly because you're like that.
You must never change.
So I should make the point, then.
No, keep ya mouth shut! [sniffs]
It's great that you think that way
and you're focusing on the right thing to do.
But just don't!
Fine. So, what's the point?
Look, I'll tell you how it is. [sniffs]
Your friends are pissing everyone in this country off.
Much more than even the Inland Revenue.
Then they made this huge mess and pulled things down.
But we can't be associated with any of that, got it?
Of course, I don't want to get you involved.
We're even producing the film because of how you are.
You have these lofty ideals,
the T-shirt with a skull on it, all those rebellious things.
My brother-in-law likes ya.
He's the kind of guy who watches Celebrity Big Brother on Facebook
'cause they voted some baboon off, and he insults them
because he thinks that Big Brother really is someone's big brother.
He really likes what you do. Get it, Zero?
You bring people together. You gotta do that.
Unite, not divide, okay? [sniffs]
So, you think it would create problems for the film?
No, it would kill the film.
If you defend these people,
it's like you're defending the guy who was suffocating cats on the Internet.
We wouldn't do the cartoon anymore.
We'd do a documentary on the guy who defended the Dusseldorf murderer.
[sniffs] Now, listen here.
[sniffs] Live with these injustices. Feel the fire burning inside of ya.
[sniffs] And when you feel you're about to burst,
keep your fucking trap shut.
"Keep my fucking trap shut"?
[sniffs] Have a wank, go to the gym. However you let off steam.
This is the market. They reward you when you have something big to say,
but you don't ever, ever say it.
D'you get that? A big thing, but you don't say it, yeah?
It's how it is. Let's rock and roll, Zero! Let's all rock and roll!
We're gonna do this cartoon!
[end call beep]
What a faggot.
- [sighs] - [phone keypad beeps]
♪ Stop now What's that sound? ♪
♪ Everybody look what's going down ♪
♪ Stop now What's that sound... ♪
[ticking]
♪ Stop now What's that sound? ♪
♪ Everybody look what's going down ♪
♪ Stop now What's that sound? ♪
♪ I am a timebomb ♪
♪ A ticking, ticking, ticking timebomb ♪
♪ I am a timebomb ♪
♪ A ticking, ticking, ticking timebomb ♪
♪ Unattended on the railway station ♪
♪ In the litter at the dancehall ♪
[intercom buzzes]
[Zero] Ah, great decor, great Sardinian food, great everything.
But a truly terrible dinner.
Maddalena kept bringing out more food, and I felt under so much pressure,
like my internal organs were being squashed.
There's a legend that says that in Tibet,
there's a monastery where Buddhist monks are always singing.
It's not a song. It's like a litany, like, "Ohm!"
They take turns
because as soon someone stops, even if it's just for a second,
without that note...
[sneezing]
...the world ends. That singing keeps the whole planet alive.
[monk sneezes]
I felt the same, only without the other monks to help me.
It was like I was entrusted with this task of filling the silence
by talking non-stop. Like...
This pancake is nice. How do you make it?
Who cut your hair like that, Mirketto?
I read there's a toad that changes sex so it can hump on its own.
Lots of things I didn't give a shit about, but I thought, "If I don't say anything,
the stargate of cosmic embarrassment would suck us into the sidereal void
for people who have run out of things to say to each other."
[jaunty music playing]
Every now and again, Cesare would try and chip in.
He asked me a few questions.
But every time I responded, it felt like I was breaking his heart,
even though I really didn't want to.
Think Serge'll gimme work setting up stages again?
[clicks tongue] Fled to Cuba after getting into debt with Bitcoin.
He sold the statue of Pope John Paul II in Termini station to a group of Russians.
Now he's a shareholder in a Caucasian narco-state.
Hmm. So, do you still go down the arcade, then?
It's closed down. It is an antiques shop now. I know.
An arcade turning into an antiques shop is like gentrification in reverse.
It's an infestation of OAPs
taking up all the spaces where people go to have fun.
[game death sound effect]
It's just how it is.
Hmm. Didn't you tell Sarah to come tonight?
No offence, I'd rather see her than you, know what I mean?
Uh, no, she was super busy with work. But she's with a girl now.
She must finish work at some point. I been waiting 20 years to score with her.
But I don't think you can. She's with a girl.
She's with a girl today, but not every day.
She's a lesbian. She likes pussy!
How else can I put it?
What are you saying? We have unfinished business.
Twenty years have passed, she changed her mind.
The toad changes sex 40 times in 20 years.
- She decided she doesn't like cock. - [ribbeting]
Fine, tell me about you.
Mum said you've hit the big time with comics.
I know fuck all, I've never read them, but I hear they're all about your life.
Who gives a flying fuck? You're hardly Spider-man!
Well, this is a country in disarray. I'm a symptom, not a cause, I swear.
The decline had started before I turned up.
Oh, where I was, no-one knew you.
When you want to escape, you can always check in to rehab.
[Zero] It was him who said it.
I dunno why I didn't wanna say the word.
Perhaps it was because that way we could keep on pretending
that he'd been somewhere exotic for the past 20 years.
Somewhere mysterious.
It's like Schrödinger's cat.
Because until you open the box, it could be anything.
[snow crunching underfoot]
Hey there, dude!
I was in Tibet for 12 years studying a particular type of fox
that farts out of its armpits to court females.
[tuneful armpit farting]
Anyway is everything good here?
[reverberating] Check into rehab.
[Zero] When you say that word, it's like all the other doors close.
[solemn music playing]
[Zero] And only one remains open.
[reverberating] Rehab.
End of.
[gentle sobbing]
I don't wanna make things uncomfortable,
so I try questions that don't require details.
Are you out for good? Or do you have to go back? Is it over?
Do you think they had me tied to the bed foaming at the mouth
for the last 20 years?
Last time I actually took anything was 15 years ago.
Then I stayed on to help the others.
See what an arse you make of yourself 'cause you don't know shit?
Better to stay quiet.
You're like King Charles, who wants to make an impression,
pretending he knows what goes on in Welsh mines.
D'ya know King Charles doesn't eat lunch?
Tightarse.
No, well, of course, but, uh, that's what I meant.
I told everyone I stayed 'cause, at the end of the day,
only people who have gone through it can understand how to deal with an addict.
But to be honest with ya,
I needed to build some structure into my life.
Timetables, rules, things to do, everything.
I need discipline, bro, or I'd murder someone.
[nervously] That makes sense.
I left in October 'cause by that time I was sick of it.
I tried to join the army. They didn't want me.
I tried everything not to come back here.
Because this place scared the shit out of me.
I don't ask about when you were there. I dunno if you like talking about it.
The other day, this image came into my head
of Orpheus asking Eurydice loads of questions about her experience.
I thought that maybe it was inappropriate to ask.
I thought all he wanted to do was to bang her.
Summing you wanna tell me? [laughs]
Cesare, wash your mouth out, you will.
No, no, it's okay. It was all my fault, I'm sorry.
[Armadillo] Code of Male Prohibitions. Article 12, literary metaphors.
Article 21, display of tact and delicacy.
Unacceptable for a suburban male.
Unacceptable!
I know, I know. It was an error.
You worry me, let me tell ya.
You're like that loud, chatty, bookworm of a girl with red hair.
Amber or Anna or whatever the fuck her name is.
It came out wrong. What can I say?
[Cesare] Mm-hmm. Okay, okay. What you up to the next few days?
- Where you taking me? - Where am I taking you?
I gotta deliver 21 pages by Sunday, then start writing that cartoon
that's already a huge pain in the arse.
Yeah, I get ya, but what do you do besides work?
Well, I have to talk with the Kurds for a book that's due out in April...
But when you're not working.
Who do you go out with? What d'ya like doing?
What do you do with your life other than work?
[ominous tone]
[Zero] On the outside, I stay deadpan.
It's a normal question, "What do you like doing?"
It's legit.
Inside, however,
I feel like the monkey in 2001: A Space Odyssey
is hitting me in the face with a mammoth's femur.
[slurring] What the fuck do I do in life?
Why do I have to think about it?
[grunts]
[Zero] The truth is that I'm like a beached whale,
I was born that way.
Only when I was a kid, I had people around me,
prodding me, saying, "Come on."
"Let's go see that show! Shall we go eat at the beach?"
As if they were giving me a shock to move me.
But then people get older. Some have kids, some have work.
Some moved to the Castelli Romani because it's cheaper
and you can be in Anagnina in 20 minutes...
It's normal. The world doesn't stay the same forever.
So, I'm still that beached whale, but with no one to prod me.
All I can do is work.
When you don't work, you slowly decompose on the beach,
which isn't even a beach anymore, but a desert
with nothing,
not even reassuring brutalist buildings from the '80s.
On this optimistic note, let me ask you,
do you think I'm the right person to take you to live la vida loca?
Oh, come off it! At most, I can spit out a bit of half-chewed plankton for a snack.
[solemn music playing]
[Zero] He didn't say anything. I don't know if he pitied me,
or thought that I was bullshitting 'cause I didn't want to take him anywhere.
♪ Some hearts ♪
♪ Made of stone... ♪
[Zero] The fact is, the evening didn't go that well.
I left his house feeling down and with a series of promises like...
Let's meet up next week. We'll have dinner with the others.
Those empty promises that you make to hint at a near future
because if you stop to think that there might not actually be a future,
you get anxious.
LUCA I LOVE YOU MUM
Then, and I know I'm obsessed, but on my way home,
I was thinking how much those posters were pissing me off.
Let's see who gives up first.
Me ripping them down,
or them putting them back up.
I was so obsessed by ripping them down with such vigour
that I hadn't realised the glue was fresh, and there was a car parked behind me.
[engine revs]
What the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit?
[electronic whirring]
[Zero] Honestly, let me tell you, I quickly came to my senses.
My brain quickly analysed all the options
and then printed a report with the various scenarios.
So, I'll read it aloud to you.
"Option A. Run away, scarper."
Except at least one of 'em runs faster than you.
But it's an undignified spectacle anyway. You're a clumsy runner, like Pingu.
And even in tragedy, you have to find some composure, got that?
"Option B. Screaming and asking for help."
You'll lose all dignity.
If you start screaming,
I'm officially resigning as your conscience.
I've already seen you cry at Grey's Anatomy,
I'm not going through that pain again, please.
"Option C. You take a beating"
Since in options A and B you also get beat up,
Option C is different only in that
you don't embarrass yourself by crying and running away.
Basically, you take it and stay quiet, okay?
Sober, clean, without any frills.
I vote for C.
Anyway, see you when you wake up in hospital.
You can tell me what you picked, okay, then? Okay, then.
[electronic whirring]
[Zero] I don't know how much time passed.
It wasn't long, because I still hadn't decided
and they still hadn't finished crossing the street when I heard...
[Cesare] Oi, oi! I know him! He's my mate!
He's my mate!
[Zero] Oh my God, my saviour! Cesare!
Guardian angel and avenger in a tracksuit, saving me in my moment of need!
[superhero action music playing]
That piece of shit is ripping down the posters!
[Zero] Whatever, I was with my huge friend.
I was feeling very confident.
Also because, as a kid, Cesare was a threshing machine.
You arsehole, it's you who's been putting up posters in our neighbourhood!
What the fuck d'you think you're doing?
You better keep your trap shut.
[Zero] I was puzzled for a second. "Is Cesare scared?" I thought.
"He'd have pummelled these guys 15 years ago!"
But, Ces, it was them who've been...
Listen, Zero, I don't know if you've been tearing our posters down,
but I can only save you once.
- You better get the fuck out of here. - But I don't understand though.
He's my mate but he's an arsehole. He's not worth it.
Let's get the fuck out of here. I'll talk to him tomorrow.
- [man] Looks an arsehole. - [Cesare] He's a twat.
[man] You owe him one!
- [Cesare] Let's go. Come on! - [engine revs]
[tyres squeal]
CHANGE LIFE
[Zero] There's no Orpheus in this story.
["Bits of Kids" by Stiff Little Fingers playing]
There's just Eurydice going into hell with no-one to find her.
♪ Broken cities 'n' broken homes... ♪
[Zero] After 20 years, she goes home alone,
where no one remembers her anymore,
and you're surprised she's not the same person.
♪ Bits of people who fall apart ♪
♪ In my town... ♪
OOPSIES
♪ And it seems there's nothin' ♪
♪ Anyway ♪
♪ Not here in this town ♪
♪ Everything is only yesterday ♪
♪ And on the way down ♪
♪ And we're gonna be wrong ♪
♪ So we gotta be strong ♪
♪ In our town ♪
♪ Bits of kids ♪
♪ We're always ♪
♪ Bits of kids ♪
♪ It's always ♪
♪ Bits of kids ♪
♪ Today ♪
[music fades out] ♪ Bits of kids ♪
[solemn instrumental music playing]
[music takes on up-tempo rock edge]
[music ends]