♪ Who can turn the world on with her smile ♪
♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪
♪ And suddenly make it all seem worthwhile ♪
♪ Well, it's you, girl and you should know it ♪
♪ With each glance and every little movement you show it ♪
♪ Love is all around no need to waste it ♪
♪ You can have the town why don't you take it ♪
♪ You're gonna make it after all ♪
♪ You're gonna make it after all ♪♪
And so the state legislature passed a bill
to bolster Minnesota's slacking tourist trade.
The governor's expected to sign the bill,
just as soon as he returns from his fishing vacation in Canada.
Now, let's hear the latest ball scores from Wally Arnold and the sports.
Point to Wally.
No. No! Don't say, "Point to Wally."
Point to Wally!
Newsroom.
Well, hiya, stranger.
Gee, I haven't heard from you in a long time.
Oh, really? Tell me about it.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Hey, you didn't happen to work in any
business during that business trip, did you?
Oh, no, not too much. Things are pretty slow around here.
Oh, yeah? Tell me.
Does anyone happen to remember this morning's memo
about personal phone calls during business hours?
- Murray? - Well, how can we forget?
It isn't often you'll see the words "don't," "no,"
"not never" and "forbid" in the same sentence.
It's one of my favorites. As a matter of fact, I saved it.
Mary?
Uh, just a second. My boss is standing here staring at me.
Yes, sir?
I was just wondering if you'd mind stepping into my office for a minute.
Ah, yes sir.
Ah, when you're finished with your call, of course!
Uh, I'm finished. It's for you.
It's your friend, Mike Cooper.
He can't remember where the card game is tonight.
I better take that in my office.
He'll be right with you. Bye-bye.
Hey Murray, do you happen to know Mr. Cooper?
No, I never met him. What's he like?
Well, I don't know. Well, I do, but I, but I, don't.
Uh, but uh... well, it's hard to explain.
No, it isn't. You do, but you don't, but you do. I understand.
No, Murray, come on, really. What I mean... I just...
I've never met him in person. I've only met his voice.
Well, what's his voice like?
Interesting.
Be prepared to be disappointed.
When I first came to this station,
there was a guy that sounded great on the phone.
But when I met him, he turned out to be a complete and utter dud.
- Who was that? - Hi, guys.
Speak of the dud.
Say, Mar, you know that, uh, rating graph that you've been working on?
The one that shows how well we're doing against the competition?
Ah, yes, Ted, I have it. Yes, here it is.
The red line is us.
Hey, we're on top!
No, uh, Ted...
Who believes in those dumb ratings anyway?
The people on the top.
Say, uh, Ted, do you happen to know Mr. Grant's friend, Mr. Cooper?
Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.
Three Coopers and you're out, Ted.
Wait a minute. That's Lou's friend, isn't it?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
What's he look like?
Well, I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
Mar, you're gonna have to give me a better hint than that.
Mike, I don't know if she's over 5'5".
I don't pay attention to stuff like that.
Yeah, you bet she's attractive.
Stuff like that I pay attention to.
Listen, we got a little rule around here.
We never indulge in personal phone calls during business hours.
So can we get this conversation back to business?
Good.
Now, the poker game tonight is at Walter's place.
8:30. And it's your turn to bring the dip.
Yes, sir?
There was something I wanted to see you about. What was it?
Uh, that I shouldn't make personal phone calls.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Was there something else I wanted to see you about?
Uh, well, no. Uh, yes.
I was curious. Uh, Mike Cooper...
Oh no, you don't. I'm not fixing you up with Mike Cooper.
I didn't say that I wanted to be fixed up with him.
What's wrong with Mike Cooper?
- Well, he's, uh... - Everyone's crazy about him.
He's a big lawyer.
He makes $50,000 a year, and...
Mary, you quit pumping me.
I'm not pumping you.
I just always thought that he sounded very nice on the phone.
Well, let's keep it that way.
Well, sure. Uh, let's keep it that way.
Okay. Okay.
I'll tell you why.
And then you'll know why I don't fix people up.
When I was in college,
I had a best friend named Warren Tucker.
Tuck and I were this close.
Then I fixed him up with a girl I knew.
I figured they'd hit it off real good. Mm-hmm.
But it didn't work out.
They got married.
Um, didn't you just say that it didn't...
It was a lousy marriage.
If I hadn't meddled and gotten those two together,
Warren Tucker might be a happy man today.
Mary, I can't run the risk of messing up Mike Cooper's life
by introducing him to you.
Well!
Thanks a lot.
- It's me. - Hi.
Mary, you know the best thing about going on a diet?
Going off a diet.
This will be the first food I have had in two weeks
that is not green and leafy.
Just hang in there, kid.
When the buzzer goes off, the lobster is ready.
Mmm.
- What's in there? - Ten thousand calories...
screaming to get out and into my body.
Oh, Rhoda.
There has got to be a better way to celebrate
losing weight than stuffing yourself.
Ah, there's the lobster.
Boy, he really wants to get out of there, doesn't he?
You answer the lobster, and I'll answer the door.
- Mr. Grant. - Hi Mary.
Uh, come in.
I hope I'm not getting you in the middle of dinner or anything.
Uh, no. Dinner is served.
- Well, not in the middle... yet. - Uh-huh.
- Rhoda, you know Mr. Grant. - Oh, sure. Hiya, Lou.
Hi.
Uh, would you like to have something to eat?
Yeah, that'd be nice.
- Got any scotch? - Uh, sure.
Ah, you sure you don't want anything to go with it?
Yeah, maybe I'd better.
Put a little ice in it.
Well, this is certainly an unexpected pleasure.
What brings you here tonight?
I wanted to talk to you, Mary,
before I went to my poker game tonight.
- What are you doing? - Making a drink.
That's not how you make a drink.
Give me that. Here's how you make a drink.
- What do I do with this? - Pour it in there.
Now you've got it.
Well. Well, well, Mr. Grant.
Mary,
I started thinking on the way to my card game tonight.
Well, I said a very foolish thing at the office today.
Oh? What foolish thing was that, Mr. Grant?
I was bullheaded, selfish, insensitive.
- You know how I am. - Oh, yeah.
Mary, I'm gonna break my rule for you.
Which rule?
My "not fixing people up with Mike Cooper" rule.
Who's Mike Cooper?
Mike Cooper is probably the most eligible bachelor in the twin cities.
He's a big lawyer, he's available,
and Mary's had her eye on him for a long time
and that's why I'm gonna break my rule.
Mr. Grant, you don't have to
- break your rule. - Hey, hey.
I didn't do all this thinking
and come all the way over here to break my rule
just so you can tell me not to break my rule.
I came here to break my rule, and I'm gonna break my rule.
Look, both you and Mike are a couple of my favorite people.
And uh, well, it just feels right.
Like me being single.
Look, you, me and Mike will have lunch together tomorrow
just to get acquainted, okay?
Okay.
Thanks for the meal.
Don't get up. Bye-bye, girls.
- Good-bye, Mr. Grant. - So long, Lou.
Mary, tomorrow wear your purple dress.
Uh, my purple dress? Why?
You know.
Wh... uh, don't-don't you think it's-it's a little, uh...
Right.
- Mary Cooper. - Oh, come on, Rhoda.
Just another blind date. Probably nothing will come of it.
Really? Rhoda Cooper.
Lunchtime.
Anyone wanna join me for teriyaki? Mar?
Oh thanks, Ted. I'd love to, but I've got a date for lunch.
Oh. How about you, Murray?
You in the mood for a little teriyak-er-reeny for lunch today?
Ted, there aren't any Japanese restaurants around here.
I know that. Chef Leroy made some beef teriyaki on his show today.
Can't you smell it? It's in all the halls.
Oh, gee, Ted, I'd love to join you, but, uh,
I brought my lunch today.
Oh. Oh, that's okay. That means there'll just be more for me.
Well, I think I'll take my lunch break.
I'll be at Bill's Big Burger if anyone wants me.
I thought you said you brought your lunch.
Oh, no.
I always keep a dummy lunch for when Ted asks me.
I'll see you, Mar.
- What's that big stink in the hall? - Beef teriyaki.
Chef Leroy cooked it on his show today.
Boy, that Leroy.
One time, he made corned beef and cabbage,
and they had to evacuate the whole building.
- Mary? - Yes, sir?
You're not wearing my purple dress.
Oh, yes, I know. It's in the cleaners.
But uh... well, isn't this one okay?
Yeah, but it just isn't the purple one, that's all.
Newsroom. Yes. Yes, I will.
I'll have him call. Not at all.
That was Mr. Cooper's office. They want him to call as soon as he gets here.
And why are you straightening my desk?
Huh?
Oh, well, when Mike gets here, I don't want him to think you're sloppy.
Oh, Mr. Grant. It's just a get-acquainted lunch.
There's no need to...
- Uh... - Mike!
Surprise me, will you, huh?
Uh... well uh, here she is.
Mary Richards.
Mary, this is Mike Cooper.
Mike Cooper, this is Mary Richards.
- Hi. - Hi.
Oh, Mr. Cooper, your office called. They'd like you to call them right away.
Uh, you can use my phone.
- Right in here, Mike. - Excuse me.
Right in here, pal.
Well, how do you like him so far?
- Well, he-he's, uh, very... - Oh, you're darn right, he is.
By the way, Mary, you called him "Mr. Cooper."
- Mike. - Right.
Line was busy. I'll call them later.
- Later means from his car. - Oh, come on.
The man has a phone in his car.
How many guys do you know who can make a call from their car?
- My cousin can. - He's probably a big lawyer too.
No, he's a big cop.
Well, what would you kids like to have for lunch?
Oh well, I'll leave that up to you.
All right. You decide, Mike. Come on.
You know, it's the strangest thing.
Ever since I got off the elevator,
I've had this craving for beef teriyaki.
I think I'll have the tempura luncheon.
Good. I'll have the sukiyaki.
Okay. Uh... ohayo gozaimasu.
(Hesitant Japanese)
- What? - I'll have beef teriyaki.
- Your English is much better. - Thank you.
I was trying to impress you. How am I doing?
It sounded very good to me.
Half way through, I realized I'd never be able
to order the whole meal in Japanese,
but it was too late to turn back.
What a guy!
Gee, this is a fun place to eat.
Bet you didn't even think I could find a Japanese restaurant.
I think the long drive was worth it.
What town are we in, anyway?
Yokohama.
What a guy!
Lou, when you keep saying, "what a guy",
I feel like I'm on display or something.
Why don't we change the subject? Let's talk about Mary.
Then you can say, "what a girl!"
What a guy!
So Mike, um, what do you think?
Is she even nicer than you pictured her on the phone?
No. But I pictured her pretty good.
Wait till you see her in her purple dress.
Mary, uh, what do you think of Mike?
Uh...
I can see this isn't gonna be an easy lunch.
I think you may be right.
Something wrong? What-what is it? What's wrong?
Lou, everything is fine, if you'd just relax.
You're absolutely right. Okay.
I'll relax and I won't say anything.
What do you mean you won't say anything?
We don't want you to just sit there and not say anything.
Mr. Grant, we want you to say something.
No, no, no, I've been doing all the talking.
I want you two to talk.
Go ahead, talk.
Um...
So, uh, Mike, you're a lawyer. That must be fascinating.
Yeah, it really is. I love it.
- Courtroom drama is so interesting. - Yeah, it must be.
I haven't been in a courtroom in three years.
last time I was in a courtroom, I was fighting my own speeding ticket.
I lost.
Anybody at this table have black four-door sedan in parking lot,
- license MRV291? - It's me.
Your car is ringing.
So what time is Mike picking you up?
Oh, I don't know. About ten minutes, I guess.
Look Mary, I'm depressed because I don't have a date.
You're depressed because you do. Is there any hope for us?
I'm not... really depressed.
I'm just not... really excited.
Oh, one of those, huh?
Yeah. And it's really too bad. You know, he's such a nice guy.
Charming. He's witty. It's just there's nothing between us.
- Not even a wall, huh? - Nothing.
And the worst part of it is that all day long at the office,
Mr. Grant is giving me little winks and smiles,
like he knows something's happening.
And the only thing that's happening is...
nothing's happening.
- I think your problem is Mr. Grant. - Hmph. I think you're right.
Every time Mike and I are out,
the conversation always works its way around to Mike saying,
"Gee, Lou sure is a great guy."
and I always counter with, "He sure is."
And we end up spending the rest of the evening talking about Mr. Grant.
Mary, what would happen if just once you and Mike...
don't even talk about Mr. Grant?
Or mention his name? Or think about him at all?
- That might be a little difficult. - Why?
'Cause we're having dinner at Mr. Grant's.
That Lou sure is a great guy, isn't he?
Oh, he sure is.
- Would you like a cup of coffee? - Yeah, that's fine.
You know, you've really fixed this place up nice, Mary.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, Lou's fixed his place up nice, hasn't he?
Yeah. He-he sure is a... great guy.
Yeah, he sure is.
Mary, um...
Lou's taken quite an interest in us, hasn't he?
Oh, yes.
Sometimes I think that, uh,
he's taken more of an interest in us than we have in each other.
- How we gonna tell him? - Uh, tell him what?
That you have no more interest in me than...
Oh, no. I-I wouldn't say...
Wait-wait-wait... wait a minute. I haven't finished.
...than uh, I have in you.
- Oh. - Now, don't get me wrong.
You're a pretty, attractive and intelligent girl,
but... you're not my type.
Huh! Well.
What do you know?
Kind of a relief, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
- Hey, Mike? - Yeah?
Why aren't I your type?
I like kind of an older woman.
More seasoned, more, uh, meat and potatoes.
You know what I mean?
You, you're more like, uh... you're like dessert, see?
- Fluffy dessert. - I'm not fluffy.
You are in your purple dress.
Thank you.
Hey, you know this is the longest conversation we've had
since I've known you where we didn't mention Lou Grant?
Yeah, he sure is...
- He sure is. - He sure is.
Mary, we've got two options.
We are gonna have to tell him as soon as possible
that we are not interested in each other...
or we're gonna have to get married just to keep from hurting his feelings.
Boy, it's gonna be really hard to tell him.
I think the earlier we do it, the easier it'll be.
Oh, yeah, has to be right away.
How about uh, first thing tomorrow morning?
Perfect. I can't be there.
I have to go to court.
I thought you said you never went to court.
Got another speeding ticket.
- Morning, Murray. - Morning, Mar.
- Mr. Grant in yet? - No.
I can tell because my feet are up on my desk.
- Good morning. - Now he's in.
Get home okay?
- Uh, yes. - Good.
- M-Mr. Grant? - Huh?
- Could I see you for a minute? - Sure!
- Well, no, uh... in there. - Sure.
You know, Mary.
Edie thought you and Mike looked perfect together.
And believe me, she knows.
She knows.
- Hey, what are you two doing tonight? - Nothing.
Good. Why don't the two of you join us...
The reason...
we're doing nothing is that Mr. Cooper and I...
- Mike! - No! Mr. Cooper.
You aren't having your first fight, are you?
No, Mr. Grant. It's nothing as serious as all that.
Good.
We're just not seeing each other anymore.
What?
Mr. Grant, it just didn't work out between us.
There was... no magic.
Magic?
What do you want him to do?
Pull a rabbit out of a hat?
- No, Mr. Grant. - Do snappy card tricks?
- No, Mr. Grant. - Make your little heart go pitty-pat?
That's it.
Mr. Grant, what I'm trying to say is that...
when I'm out with Mr. Cooper on a date,
it's... it's like being out with you.
Something wrong with that?
Let me, let me put it another way.
I think that... one of the reasons that you like Mr. Cooper so much
is that he's so much like you, which is why I like him so much.
But I just don't feel any attraction for him
just like I don't feel any attraction for...
Uh, let me put that another way.
No, you put it enough ways.
Mary, you don't seem to understand.
I don't do this.
I broke the rule for you.
I went out on a limb for you two.
At least you could give that limb a chance to grow...
and to blossom...
before you go up there and hack it off!
I didn't hack it off. I gave it a chance.
Giving it a chance takes time, Mary.
Mrs. Grant and I have been giving it a chance for 26 years.
We know that one of these days it's going to work out.
- I wish you wouldn't get so excited. - Of course I'm excited.
You just said my best friend isn't good enough for you.
No. You don't seem to understand. He doesn't care much for me either.
- What? - He says I'm not his type.
Ah, what does he know? Get him on the phone.
- Mr. Grant... - Get him.
- Oh, hello. - I said on the phone.
- I thought you had to be in court. - I pleaded guilty. It's quicker.
Well, did Mary...?
Oh. He took it bad, hmm.
Just tell me one thing.
What's wrong with her?
Just one thing.
- She's too fat, Lou. - Huh?
Lou, look, we appreciate your concern, but take my word for it,
as a friend and a lawyer, it just didn't work out.
Was it something I did?
Oh, no, Mr. Grant. You did everything you could. More.
I did too much, didn't I? It's my fault.
Lou, will you stop whipping yourself? It's over. It's all over.
Are you sure you two kids know what you're doing?
Have you thought it over?
This is a big decision you're making.
We're grown-ups.
Then you're not mad at me or anything, huh?
Oh, Mr. Grant, no.
We thought it was very sweet of you...
Sweet?
That's right, Lou. Don't fight it.
- You are sweet. - Oh, cut it out.
I, uh, I guess you won't be able to use these then, huh?
Oh. Two tickets to the hockey game.
- Isn't that... - Sweet.
Oh, they're just a couple of free passes.
Now what am I gonna do with them?
- Hey, Mike. You wanna go with me? - Sure.
We can go out and get a few belts before the game.
As a matter of fact, we don't even have to go out before the game.
I've got belts right here in my office.
We don't even have to go to the game at all.
Hey, that's a great idea.
Listen, I've gotta go to work.
Well, uh, I'll uh... I'll be talking to you.
I'll be looking forward to it.
Yeah.
Here Mary, you take these.
You were supposed to go in the first place.
Alone?
Call my wife. She's probably not doing anything.
Oh!
Newsroom.
Well, hiya, stranger.
I haven't heard from you in a long time.
How ya been?
Oh, not too much. Things are pretty slow around here.
Come on, come on, come on. Let me talk to him.
Just a second. There's someone here wants to talk to you.
It's my father.