- Oh shoot.
- Something amiss, my lady?
- It's all out of water.
- Not a problem.
Boop.
This one's full.
God!
There's better water right here in the fridge.
Damn thing sticks sometimes.
There it goes.
Can I open that for you?
- I doubt it.
- And I honestly believe the readers of blush are willing,
even eager to help fight for our endangered coral reefs.
Many different species...
Jack gallo at the plate hitting 292.
Micah throws, gallo swings.
It's a long run.
The giants win the pennant, the giants win the pennant!
- The toxic runoff and chemical pesticides have eroded
what was once one of our most precious resources.
Few people... I know the doctor said
not to get my hopes up,
but I do feel a little tingling on my scalp.
- So, you may ask, "what can the average citizen do?"
I say plenty.
If it was an absolute emergency,
I know I could get that fridge door open.
Still, maybe I should start working out.
Yeah, I wonder if Elliot's gym offers jazzercise.
- So, if we all volunteer for a clean-up weekend.
Excuse me?
Nina?
What is it that you're daydreaming about
that's so much more important than what I'm saying?
- My biological parents have found me
and will be here in half an hour.
Excuse me.
Please don't start again.
Please, please,
please don't start again. - Please don't start again.
- Maybe I should go after her.
- Yes. - Yes, yes.
- Why don't you go... - See if she's okay.
Yeah.
- Hey.
We're all a little worried about you,
how are you doing?
- They found me over the Internet.
Can you believe it?
I mean, they just called out of nowhere.
- And they're actually coming here to the office?
- All the way from twin Wells, Oklahoma.
- And you sound disappointed.
- Well, they sound like backwater Hicks.
Well I'm sorry, but you know,
when I was a little girl on the farm
I always fantasized that my birth parents were,
you know, movie stars or wealthy jet-setters.
At least people who didn't smell like hogs.
- Hm, it's funny.
Before I understood what my dad did
I used to pretend that he was a blacksmith,
hammering horseshoes and working at a hot forge.
- Oh, but instead he's a millionaire,
well boo-hoo for you and now back to me.
- Look, you're a little emotional right now,
- don't get me wrong, Maya.
I loved my adoptive parents,
I mean, they fed me and they raised me
and they learned me to read.
Hello!
- Oh my god.
Okay, if one of them is holding a pig, you're me.
- Ms Van horn?
Yes?
- Hello.
Oh, how rude of me.
This is, uh, i'm drawing a blank.
- Nina.
No, I'm not kidding,
I wanna say Karen, but I...
- Oh, I'm Maya gallo,
and I really should be going.
- No no, Karen, stay.
- So, I'm doctor les Drake
and this is my wife, Libby.
- Hello.
- Doctor, do they call you that
because you're an actual doctor,
or because you wear rubber gloves when you do the milking?
- No, I've practiced medicine for over 40 years now.
- And I teach art at the local college.
- You're not cousins, are you?
Oh no, of course not.
Oh, look at you.
To think all these years
I have taken fashion advice from Nina Van horn,
and now it turns out she's my own daughter.
- Well, now, Libby, now, we're not 100% sure,
we still need her to take a blood test.
I don't want to sound paranoid,
but, well, we don't want to get our hopes up.
- I understand.
- Plus, not to be crass, but there are certain assets.
- Assets?
- Yes, well, in addition to les's practice
there is some oil money.
- Oil as in vroom vroom, make the cars go?
- As in, vroom vroom,
let's quit the practice and play some golf.
- Can't keep him off that course since he built it.
- Well anyway, you must have a lot of tough questions,
like why we gave you up
and why we waited so long to find you.
- Can I have a pony?
- Man, pumping iron is hard.
Really hard.
How long do you think it'll be
before I put weights on the bar?
- When you can lift your gym bag with one arm.
This is the best part, man.
Is this living or what?
- That's a decision his family will have to make.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Ah, yeah.
- Something you need?
- Jack,
would you describe yourself as a fan of nature?
- Sure.
As a boy I took a lot of hikes.
- Ah, lot of hikes.
Good, that's good.
So, on one of those hikes,
did you ever see something in nature
that just didn't quite fit?
- Yes.
I once saw an owl, and I swear to god it smiled at me.
- Sure.
But I'm talking more...
I don't know, like,
like a really skinny tree
with branches that are way too big for its trunk.
- Nina.
What are you doing?
- Waiting for my blood test results.
They're sending me a fax.
- That's my humidifier.
And my fax machine is over there.
Oh my god.
It's here.
You know this piece of paper
could change the rest of my life?
Maya, you read it.
- It's negative.
- How negative?
- Nina, this means they're not your parents.
Are you okay?
They have to be my parents,
I mean, they're everything I ever dreamed they would be,
they're fun and witty and sophisticated.
I mean, sure she could use a makeover, but so could you.
- Oh, here you are.
Libby, they're in Carol's office.
- You mean Karen, and it's Maya.
- Maya.
- I'm here for you.
- Please excuse us.
- Oh, okay.
- Listen, we need to talk.
- But first, we don't want to jinx anything,
but we bought you a present.
It's something that we bought a long time ago
when we first started searching for our daughter.
Oh, that's so sweet.
- There's an inscription.
- "Rattle when you need us."
I don't know what to say.
- So, well, i'm almost afraid to ask.
Do you have the blood test results?
And?
- I'm your little girl.
- Oh.
- Hey.
- Mm hm?
- So listen, I was thinking maybe Sushi tonight.
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey Maya,
you want me to water your plants?
- Yeah, thanks Finch, it's been forever.
- I'm your man.
- No, I'm her man.
I'll water her plant.
- Fine.
But you'll see it's no fun lugging this thing around.
- What the hell was that about?
- Maya, be honest.
I make you happy, don't I?
- Of course, what are you talking about?
- So you're fine, you're fulfilled?
- Elliot, what's wrong with you?
- Just answer the question, Allie,
do I make you happy?
- So, you're completely satisfied with everything?
- Yes.
- What do you like most?
- Oh, I don't know, I guess it's the little things.
Oh, you poor thing, Nina how did it go?
Were they crushed when you told them?
- Crushed?
"Crushed" isn't the right word, nor is "told them."
- What are you talking about?
- Well, I may have fudged the truth a little
on the blood test.
- Nina, I know you're fulfilling some fantasy
about having rich successful parents,
but lying to them is wrong.
- Well, that's one way to look at it.
- What's another?
- Well, les and Libby have been looking for their daughter
for a very long time.
They want to make me happy, I want to make them happy,
what's the crime?
- Fraud, theft.
- Oh, you are one to talk.
You're gonna inherit tons from your dad.
- But he is my dad!
- Oh, is he, Maya?
At least I've had a blood test.
- All I'm saying is if the cold air makes it smaller
maybe the hot air in the sauna makes it...
- We're not gonna talk about this anymore.
- Here you go guys, two regular lattes.
Alright.
And mine.
- What the hell is that?
- They call it a cafe grande.
- Oh, that's it.
You wanna see grande?
Here's five grande.
And there's a lot more where that came from, pal.
- Punch me right here, as hard as you can.
Come on.
- Did I get the wrong coffee for you guys?
- Don't play innocent.
We've both gotten a look at his majesty, the king.
- You guys are freaking me out.
- Do you really not know what we're talking about?
- No.
Really?
I guess that would explain some of my back problems.
- Finch, how could you not know?
Didn't you take gym in high school?
- I was excused 'cause I have brittle bones.
- So, you've never compared yourself to other men?
- No.
I mean, only guys in porno movies.
I just figured I was a little bigger than average.
- You son of a bitch.
- Didn't your ex-wife ever comment?
- Yeah, but isn't that what wives are supposed to say?
- Yeah, but sometimes they say it with a hint of sarcasm
that makes you feel like...
Never mind.
- Well, well, well.
- Stop gloating, alright, it doesn't mean anything.
- I know, it doesn't.
I'm still just Dennis Finch, regular guy.
- Oh. - I'm sorry.
- My fault.
- Hey, you're Nina's folks, huh?
- That's right.
- So how do you like New York?
- Oh, we love it every time we come.
- I never get used to how tall those skyscrapers are.
- Of course, you know,
it's not the size of the building that matters.
- Then what is it?
- I wish I knew.
- Have a nice day.
- My stars.
Can you make it there?
- Oh my god, what happened?
- We were mugged, right in the middle of central park.
- Oh, daddy, are you alright?
- Yes, a little shaken up is all.
- Should we get you into an emergency room?
- No no, I'll be alright.
- I'll get some ice.
- This is terrible,
and it came at the worst possible time.
- What do you mean?
- Well, we got some bad news about your grandma Ruby.
- I have a grandma Ruby?
- For now.
She's taken a turn for the worst,
she could go at any time,
so we chartered a jet so we could all fly back
to twin Wells and be at her side.
- So, what's the problem?
- We need money for the charter,
and the muggers cleaned us out.
Credit cards, ID, everything.
- We could get a cash wire tomorrow,
but then it could be too late.
I'm sorry mama, I wanted to be there.
- I could give you a loan, how much do you need?
- $20,000.
- Goodness, that's a lot of money.
- It is?
- Well, to her it is.
Oh yeah, alright, alright.
Poor grandma, last thing she told me
was how she wanted to meet you.
- You see i'm, well,
I've gotten a little behind on my credit cards this year.
- Passed down to you her diamond pendant.
- Diamond?
- Yes, it's called the star of persia.
- More like the football of persia
because of its tremendous size...
Weight...
Value.
Oh well, she will just be buried with it.
- Oh, the hell she will, I'll get you the money.
- Oh, no, we couldn't possibly let you.
- No, I insist.
- Absolutely not.
- Look, you're taking my money
and that's all there is to it.
- Alright, let's get to the bank.
- Hey, I thought you were at a shoot.
- I forgot my wide-angle lens.
What's the ice pack for?
- Oh, it's awful,
les and Libby were attacked in central park.
- No they weren't.
- Of course,
of course they were, look at him.
- No, I just saw them two minutes ago,
whatever happened to them
happened between the lobby and here.
Oh my god.
Oh!
- Just a thought,
wouldn't it be easier to take a commercial airline?
- Well, the problem is we'd have to fly to Tulsa
and rent a car, and it's a six-hour drive.
- And it would be too late.
- Someone needs some valium.
- Nina, thank you for everything.
You are so kind, and good, and...
- Decent, and pretty.
- Oh, I just can't do this.
- Sorry?
- I've just been a very bad girl.
- Sorry?
- Oh, les,
Libby, I...
I'm not your real daughter.
- What?
Sure you are, you belong to us.
I mean, until we die and you get all the money, remember?
- See, I...
I wanted you to be my parents so badly that I...
I lied about the blood test, and...
Your daughter is still out there somewhere,
and this belongs to her.
- Look, baby girl.
You are just hysterical.
Now don't make me snap you unconscious.
No, go ahead, I deserve it.
What I did was wrong.
Well, the whole thing ends right here, that's it.
- Of course, you're good people,
so I will lend you the money.
- Sweet.
Nina, can you hear me?
- Maya, you're the elevator dj?
- Listen to me.
Les and Libby are frauds.
Do not give them any money.
They're conning you.
I'm gonna need police backup for this.
Roll, roll!
- Shame on you Maya, you could not be more wrong about this.
- Hey, we meet again.
So, wanna go hit the town tonight?
- I've got plans.
You might wanna change 'em.
- Oh, and why is that?
- Well, let's just say I put my pants on
three legs at a time.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm saying why settle for a ukulele
when you can play the cello?
- Are you having some sort of a breakdown?
- You know what, you're right.
I'm not making sense.
Perhaps there's not enough blood in my brain
because it's all in my ridiculously large penis.
- Listen, if you ever speak to me again,
I'll have you arrested.
- Poor Dennis.
It's a story as old as time.
Great product, lousy sales department.
- Is that the sun breaking through the clouds, Jack?
- I believe it is, Elliot.
I believe it is.
♪ Life keeps bringin' me back to you
♪ keeps bringin' me home
♪ it don't matter what I wanna do 'cause
♪ it's got a mind of its own
♪ life keeps bringin' me back to you