Casey: With a month of big-league baseball behind us,
-- it's time for what, Dan? Dan: Predictions.
It's time for predictions. Last year Dan predicted
that the Yankees would finish third
in the American League East. Wher e'd they finish, Dan?
-- They won the World Series. -- They won the World Series.
What do you got f or us this year?
The team of Lord Baltimor e, Casey.
The Orioles will beat the American League
like an old Persian rug.
Then they'll go on to teach Ken Griff ey's Cincinnati Reds
a little lesson in humility.
Dan says the Orioles, I say the Yankees.
Dan says the Reds, I say the Mets.
But, kids, whether you'r e a Mets f an, a Yankee f an,
a Dodger f an, or a Red Sox f an,
the one thing we can all agr ee on is what, Danny?
John Rocker's a duf us.
John Rocker's a big honkin' duf us. That's all f or us.
We'll be back tomorrow night with mor e scor es and highlights.
This is day six of the Continental Corp fir e sale,
so if you've got $ 14 or $ 15 billion
in your passbook account, you can own this network.
You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC.
Have a good night.
Good night, Mom.
Dave: We're out. Natalie: Good show.
Who wrote the Rocker joke?
-- I did. -- I did.
You suggested the Rocker joke. I r efined it.
You typed it.
Please unhook yourselves and come and see me in the bullpen.
-- Dana, I gave them the Rocker joke. -- Jeremy.
-- I gave them the Rocker joke. -- Natalie.
You said, "Let's do a joke about John Rocker."
That's right.
That's not writing the joke, that's suggesting the joke.
Both of you, come with me, please.
Natalie: I did several drafts of the joke.
You said, "Let's give out his home number."
I said, "We can't give out his home number on TV.
Let's call him a duf us."
Then we disagr eed on the spelling of "duf us."
And then I agr eed, yes, we should call him a duf us.
And I added "big honkin' duf us."
And then Casey typed it.
It was a good team eff ort, Dana.
You'r e all idiots.
The Atlanta Braves ar e owned by Time Warner.
AOL Time Warner is a major player
in the bidding war f or Continental Corp.
Let's not piss off people
while they'r e looking at us through the stor e window.
We ar e on lif e support now.
We ar e way past the "show business is f unny" stage.
It was sophomoric, and it was stupid.
It was Jer emy's idea.
-- It was your idea. -- I was goaded by Danny.
-- I was practically thr eatened by Casey. -- All I did was type it.
Well, then, the buck pr etty much stops with you, ther e, doesn't it?
Shut up.
I'm going to Anthony's.
-- Let's go someplace diff er ent. -- Why?
'Cause we've been to Anthony's the last six nights.
-- Which is why we should keep going. -- Dana's right.
-- About what? -- Everything.
-- Suck-up. -- A little thing called luck, Danny.
-- Luck? -- The power of luck.
We've gone to Anthony's six nights in a row.
You don't br eak the luck.
-- Continental Corp's up f or sale. -- That's right.
-- We could all be out of work in a f ew days. -- That's right.
Don't we want to change our luck?
-- Dana? -- No.
-- No. You know why? -- Why?
-- Dana? -- 'Cause people ar e bidding on us.
They'r e in rooms right now,
they'r e on cellphones, they'r e crunching numbers.
Something good is coming, and you don't change the luck.
-- You don't change the luck, Jer emy. -- Okay.
Anthony's! I'll meet you ther e.
-- Dana... -- Yeah?
sorry about the Rocker joke. That was me.
You should've given out his home number.
-- Can't say it on TV. -- Tell me about it.
It's not gonna be Time Warner.
Ah, it could be Time Warner.
Well, if it's Time Warner, we'r e scr ewed.
If it's Fox, we'r e scr ewed. If it's Disney, we'r e scr ewed.
-- Look... -- Dana.
Just 'cause CNN alr eady has cable sports
and Fox alr eady has cable sports and Disney --
Alr eady has ESPN...
ESPN 2, ESPN news,
ESPN radio, ESPN the magazine, ESPN the r estaurant.
See, when you put it that way --
These guys need another sports channel
like they need a hole in the head.
-- Someone's gonna come along. -- Yeah? Who?
You got to allow f or the possibility
that ther e's someone out ther e that needs a hole in the head.
Yes, but in the meantime, Time Warner, Disney, and Fox
ar e the only bidders,
and the first thing any of them will do
is sell off CSC f or parts.
-- And yet, here we are at Anthony's. -- What's your point?
My point is that this is the kind of luck you want to br eak.
We should be someplace else right now.
-- No, that's not the point. -- What is the point?
Dana?
Those ar e the only people bidding right now.
-- That's the point. -- Ah.
-- Ar en't I adorable? -- Yes.
-- So... Elliot: Yes.
-- Desperate times. -- Yes.
You know, in times like these,
the last days of a war,
the last days bef or e going off to war,
you know what people do?
They band together?
-- They sleep with each other. -- Really?
The last days on a movie shoot...
-- The last days of school. -- The last days --
They sleep with each other?
They do.
It's not that I'm not flatter ed, Dan --
I understand. What about you?
Danny, only you would take an occasion like this
and turn it into an opportunity f or sex.
I'm gifted, yes, but that's actually not why I came over.
Why'd you come over?
-- To tell you you'r e the best secr etary I've ever had. -- Thank you.
-- I mean it. -- I know you do.
-- That's why it's hard f or me to tell you this. -- What?
-- I'm not your secr etary. -- What do you mean?
-- I'm not your secr etary. -- When did that happen?
It didn't happen, Danny. I've never been your secr etary.
-- I thought you wer e my secr etary. -- Yes, I know.
I've always tr eated you like my secr etary.
Yes, I know.
Okay.
Well, my mistake.
Yes.
All right.
I'm gonna go talk to Casey.
It's f or my boyf riend.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
Hey, what's going on her e, huh?
It's f or her boyf riend.
-- What's his name? -- Joe.
I don't like the sound of him.
I think you should dump him and go out with Casey.
This is Dan.
Will you sign it, too?
Sur e, but I'm gonna sign it, "Joe, I think you should
dump this r edhead and go out with Casey."
-- How did I end up with Joe? -- Things work out that way sometimes.
-- You guys ar e so cute. - But me mor e than him, right?
-- Well, I don't -- -- It's okay. Thank you.
Thanks.
-- So, listen... -- Yeah.
It's something we should talk about at least, right?
I don't know.
-- Casey... -- I don't know.
Let me tell you something, Casey.
I wouldn't mind living in L.A.
You know what you got out ther e? Sunshine.
You got sunshine, you got the Pacific Ocean,
you got driving around with the top down.
I'd have to buy a car.
It's f un to buy a car. You got the new-car smell.
Plus, you got the sunshine, the Pacific Ocean,
not to mention a pr etty good job off er.
It's not a pr etty good job off er.
It's 11:00, it's one, maybe one and a half million mor e viewers,
it's Dana as ex ecutive producer.
-- What mor e -- -- It's in Calif ornia.
Wher e they got Laker Girls.
Same show, bigger audience, sunshine, Pacific Ocean,
new car, Laker Girls, plus the L.A. Philharmonic
with Mr. Esa-Pekka Salonen at the podium.
You know wher e he's f rom?
-- Helsinki. -- That's right. You know wher e that is?
Finland.
That's right.
When you think about it,
it's actually a better job than the ones we got now,
and the ones we got now we'r e not gonna have that much longer,
so it's a pr etty good job off er.
Well, we'll just, uh...
cross that bridge when we do.
-- Okay. -- Good.
-- Jer emy? -- Yeah?
I've had a couple of drinks,
so I think I have the courage to tell you this.
-- Jer emy... -- Hang on. Hang on, I'm sitting right her e.
-- You can stay ther e. -- If you'r e gonna tell him something that takes courage,
I think I shouldn't be sitting her e.
-- It's okay. -- Okay.
-- I'm still in love with you. -- Oh, can I please get up?
-- Natalie... -- No, you don't have to say anything.
In f act, you probably shouldn't. Just let me talk.
-- You r eally gotta let me out. -- No, I don't want to lose the moment.
I'm sitting right her e!
Jeremy, there hasn't been a day
since I broke up with you that I haven't wanted you back.
I broke up with you.
Ther e have been a couple of days.
Which days?
Um, I don't know if this is me talking
or the coconut pina colada.
Also, I've been having these mood swings.
Natalie --
-- Come to think of it, I hate your living guts. -- Okay.
-- Desperate times. Elliot: Yes.
It's been said that in times like these,
the last days of war, the last days bef or e going off to war,
it's been said that during these times,
people sleep together.
[ Laughs ] That's what it's been said
-- that people do during times [Clears throat] like these. -- Yeah.
If Jeremy wanted, he could have me any time, anywhere.
I would do things to his mind and body
that I think he'd r eally enjoy.
God knows I would.
-- Natalie... -- Don't touch me.
-- Okay. -- Would you please, f or the love of God, let me out?
Desperate times.
Shut up. Who wants what?
Dan: Beer. Casey: Beer. Jeremy: Beer.
Coconut pina colada.
How am I supposed to r emember that?
It's thr ee beers and a pina colada.
-- You want a mnemonic device? -- Hey!
Get him, Dana!
Thr ee beers and a coconut pina colada.
Dan: [ On TV ] McNabb was 14 for 19 passing for a total of...
You want another one of these?
Yeah, if you don't mind. Thanks.
This show is good, don't you think?
-- "Sports Night." -- Yeah.
They work just across the str eet.
-- A lot of those guys come in her e. -- Yeah, I saw.
Jack...
And her e's the ex ecutive producer.
-- How you doin'? -- Hi.
I was saying it's a good show.
Thank you.
Jack, I'd like thr ee beers and a coconut pina colada.
I need to go in the back one minute.
I was just saying that it's a good show,
and the bartender pointed out
that a lot of your guys come in her e.
I told him I could see that.
At first I thought it was inter esting
that I was watching them on television
and they'r e also standing right over ther e.
We broadcast live at 11:00,
and then we r eplay the show at 1:00.
It's called tape delay.
I sussed out the technology.
I r eally just came up her e
to get some drinks f or my f riends.
I have no r eason not to believe you.
I'm just saying I'm not in a mood
to be bought a drink by a guy in a suit.
I'm not wearing a suit.
For that matter, I wasn't off ering you a drink.
Yeah. You left your Wall Str eet office at 8:30,
went to your 2-bedroom on the East Side,
and changed into your "I don't always wear a suit" clothes.
I don't live on the East Side.
If you live on the West Side,
then you'r e stuck back in college.
I live in Paris.
[ Laughs ]
France?
Yeah.
Sometimes Seattle, sometimes Chicago,
sometimes Tokyo, sometimes St. Barts.
Tell me...
Seriously, ar e ther e women
who believe you when you say that?
Not many.
So, Dana, I couldn't help
overhearing you and your f riends a while ago.
We'r e sitting on the other side of the r estaurant.
Yeah.
I wouldn't worry about a Time Warner takeover.
You wouldn't, huh?
They'll kick out when the stock hits 27.
How did you know my name?
The bartender said it.
No, he didn't.
Sur e, he did.
How else would I know it?
Time Warner's gonna kick out at 27 a shar e.
All right, what was that you needed?
Dana?
Thr ee beers and a coconut pina colada.
Dana: Hi.
Hi.
Any word?
Any word on what?
Our f utur es.
If it's Fox, they'll drop the cable inter est.
If it's Disney, they'll drop the cable inter est.
If it's Time Warner, they'll drop the cable interest.
Yeah. I met a guy last night at Anthony's --
Hi.
-- Hey, Danny. -- Any word?
No.
Did you know that Kim isn't my secr etary?
Yeah.
I have been tr eating her like she was my secr etary.
Yes, I know.
Okay, just so I get this straight,
is ther e someone her e who is my secr etary,
I've just never known it?
No.
I have no secr etary.
Right.
Okay.
How you doin', Isaac?
Good.
Okay.
What'd you say bef or e?
[ Door closes ]
When?
-- You met a guy at Anthony's. -- Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
When is someone new gonna step up to the table,
someone who wants cable sports?
You know, Dana...
my nephew Christopher
is a trauma surgeon
at a city hospital in Detroit.
Whenever he loses somebody,
it usually takes him a couple of weeks
to get up off the mat.
I tell him it's an overcrowded, underf unded hospital.
He doesn't listen, though.
He usually talks about ditching medicine
and opening up a r estaurant in Albuquerque.
Why Albuquerque?
I don't know,
but it's always Albuquerque.
At best, you had maybe 2/3 of the budget
needed to do the job in a market
that was oversaturated when you got ther e.
If it goes down,
you get up off the mat,
you go to L.A. with Dan and Casey,
and...you try it again.
What do you do?
Two tr ees, a hammock [Chuckles]
and a stack of books this high.
[ Telephone rings ]
Let me ask you --
Ah, hang on.
Yeah?
Thanks.
Time Warner just kicked out.
-- Really? -- But I wouldn't worry about it, though.
-- They wer e never ser-- -- What was the stock price?
$27 a shar e.
Huh.
You wer e saying something about a guy at Anthony's.
Yeah. No.
Uh, yeah.
I should get back to work, though.
Okay, remember what I said.
Yeah.
Thr ee years, I always thought she was my secr etary.
She was good.
Yep. [ Clears throat ]
Say, while we'r e tying up loose ends,
do we shar e an office, or am I just her e a lot?
-- You'r e just her e a lot. -- I have my own office?
-- Yeah. -- Wher e?
[ Sighs ]
-- That's my conf ession. -- What?
This is your office. Mine's someplace else.
You'r e kidding.
Nope.
Wher e?
I don't know.
I just always liked this one.
All right. Well, it seemed to work out okay.
-- Yeah. -- Next place, we should shar e an office again.
Yeah.
And we should have someone who pr etends to be our secr etary.
-- Yeah. -- Dan?
Hey.
These ar e f or you.
Elliot, look, last night,
seriously, I was talking to Kim.
-- I was doing a little thing. -- They're not f rom me.
Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while?
"R.W." It says "R.W."
What else does it say?
It just says "R. W. "
Robert Wagner has sent me flowers.
That was nice of him.
Or maybe Reggie White.
All-pro defensive end Reggie White can send me flowers,
but do you ever think to, Elliot?
-- I don't take you f or granted. -- Yes, you do.
You'r e not our secr etary, by any chance, ar e you?
-- I pr ef er assistant. -- Get out.
Five minutes!
Arthur Brown: And, so, it's only logical.
I mean, I'm just using rational logic and sensibility that in that situation,
you bunt with one strike and one out and the go-ahead run at first.
I mean, I gotta say, I think Joe Torre
should be run out of town on just that play alone.
Right. Caller, how much experience
do you have coaching at the major-league level?
Well, I never coached pro ball or anything.
-- Semi-pro? -- No.
-- College? -- No.
Okay, Joe Torr e's been coaching baseball f or about 430 years.
-- You got a girlf riend? -- No.
-- This is why. You inter ested in buying Continental Corp? -- No.
Okay, then we'r e hanging up now.
Dan, you want to take us to commercial?
With pleasur e.
You'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC,
so stick around.
Dave: We're in commercial.
60 seconds back.
By the way, everybody,
Time Warner kicked out this morning.
-- Who needed them? -- We needed them.
They wouldn't have kept CSC.
Neither will Fox or Disney, but it looks like that's all that's left.
-- Not all. -- That's right.
-- Ther e's still the power of f ate. -- La forza del destino.
-- Jer emy... -- It's been said, Dana, that in desperate times...
-- Yes. -- Give me out graphics on 4.
30 seconds back.
-- Thank you. -- The Pacific Ocean's
completely diff er ent f rom the Atlantic, you know.
-- I know. It's on the other side. -- Yes, it is.
You know what's just a quick plane ride away?
-- Asia? -- Hawaii.
You ever been to Hawaii?
Cover ed two pro bowls.
Shot par at Mauna Lani. I've met Don Ho.
Oh, so you'r e a bit of an expert.
-- I understand the island ways. -- Danny, I would love to --
We don't have to tell them yes or no,
but we got to tell them what we'r e thinking.
It's a r eally good off er, Casey.
-- It's gonna be the best one we get. Dave: In 10.
-- We need to talk about it, okay? -- Yeah.
Is it possible I got flowers f rom Raquel Welch?
No.
Okay.
Dave: In 3...2...
That's all f or us tonight.
Remember, please, if you'r e going out on a date
and you want to impr ess someone,
it's a "dog eat dog world," not a doggy-dog world.
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Good night.
-- Animation. -- Go.
We'r e out.
Good show.
So help me God, I thought it was a doggy-dog world.
-- Anthony's. -- Yeah.
No. Wait. Hang on.
Our corporate par ent is up f or sale.
The only people who seem inter ested in buying
would almost sur ely dump the cable network,
and one of those people dropped out this morning.
You still don't want to br eak our luck?
-- Man, Jer emy! -- What?
-- The power of f ate.
The power of f ate...
which is actually something I just said a minute ago,
so I shouldn't have even needed prompting.
Well, you guys definitely turned me around on that one.
They got the aquarium.
What aquarium?
With the dolphins and the -- the fish
and the mammals over ther e in San Francisco.
-- Ah, it's in San Diego. -- Really?
-- Yeah. -- Who car es?
They f rolic, they splash,
-- and they have a ball. -- Danny...
-- you can go ther e with a Laker Girl. -- Dan.
-- She never met a guy like you bef or e. -- Hey.
Hey. What am I supposed to do, see Charlie twice a year?
[ Sighs ] Christmas and when?
They have jet planes now, Casey.
I'd be working six nights.
It's not like I can get in a plane every time --
-- I'm saying she gets on a plane. -- Danny, come on.
-- Look... -- I'm not kidding. She's not tied down to a job.
You tell her you'r e not willing to live that f ar away f rom Charlie.
You tell her you support this f amily and your business just moved,
and the f amily's got to move, too.
You tell her to get her ass on a plane.
Let's cross that bridge when we get ther e, okay?
All right.
Hi.
Ex cuse me f or interrupting.
My boyf riend would kill me if he knew I saw you
and didn't get you to sign something.
-- Sur e. -- Thanks.
You want another?
Yeah.
By the way, my roommate's f riend
knows a girl you used to date.
-- Who? -- Rebecca Wells.
[ Glass shatters ]
-- Is he all right? -- Yeah, he's fine.
Yeah, I j-- I just think I need to get some air.
[ Sighs ]
Dana: You guys all right over ther e? -- Yeah.
-- Yeah, now it's getting good. Dana: Okay.
Natalie: Jeremy...
-- Yeah? -- Ther e's something I think you should know.
-- Oh, God. -- I'm not wearing any socks right now.
-- Oh, please let me out. -- I know you have a little thing,
and I thought it would be wrong f or me to not tell you
that I'm not wearing any socks right now.
-- I don't believe you. -- Jer emy...
One day you'll see that my love f or you
isn't the product of liquor-induced mood swings,
and that I'm yours f or the taking at your command.
And that the day I broke up with you
was the most r egr ettable day of my lif e.
Okay...
but I broke up with you.
I find you loathsome,
and my hatr ed of you knows no bounds.
Okay.
I'm not wearing any socks.
Okay.
Do you f eel my f oot?
All right, that's it! That's it! Move, move! Out, out, out!
[ Clears throat ] Thank you.
What do you need, Dana?
Man: Three beers and a coconut pina colada.
Hey, you, I need to talk to you.
Stay right ther e. Two beers.
You guys did a good show tonight.
Thank you.
I liked the call-in.
How did you know Time Warner was gonna drop out at 27?
-- I didn't. -- You did.
I guessed.
You didn't guess. You had inf ormation.
I had a lot of inf ormation.
That's what makes me good at guessing.
If you've got inside inf ormation
and you'r e passing it, you'r e br eaking the law,
and I don't want you talking to me.
I don't have inside inf ormation,
and I wasn't talking to you.
You came over to me.
-- Nonetheless. -- Yeah?
I'm just saying, I know a thing or two about securities law.
Why?
Because I do.
Okay.
So, how ar e you?
-- Me? -- Yeah.
I've been thinking a lot about opening a r estaurant.
Wher e?
Albuquerque.
Thanks, Jack.
I'm going back to my f riends now.
Okay.
We wer e having an inter esting conversation.
-- About what? -- The power of f ate.
Okay.
So goodbye.
MDl-Transcom's gonna come in as a bidder.
-- How do you know that? -- I don't.
You'r e guessing.
Yeah.
-- But you'r e right. -- Yeah.
What does MDl-Transcom want with Continental Corp?
I could tell you, but the answer's a little dry.
-- You're saying I wouldn't be able to understand it? -- Yeah.
Probably not, 'cause all I've got
is a master's in broadcast communication.
C.C. owns cable providers in certain markets,
which means they also own the coaxial cable
which was originally laid.
Coaxial cable provides much gr eater bandwidth
than conventional phone lines,
so it provides extr emely f ast Internet access.
Who are you?
No one whose name you'd know.
I'm going back to my f riends.
To talk about the power of f ate?
Yeah.
La forza del destino.
[ Rock music plays ]