Previously on "Sports Night"...
"I think you'r e cute, and I've had f un talking to you,
and I'd like you to ask me out."
Yes.
You'r e dating a porn star?
It might rain at Indian Wells.
-- If it does, we stay on the air f or the second round. -- I'm not staying on the air.
You know, Casey, I'm getting a little tired of you being
senior camp counselor around here.
Hey, you know what? If you'r e not her e, then I can't use you.
-- When did I become Ed McMahon to you? -- No, you'r e not, and you know it, all right?
But I need to be able to do my show.
-- And when did it become your show? -- Come on, we'r e on the air.
I'm transf erring live f ootage to your monitors.
Take a look.
It's raining at Indian Wells.
Casey: A 6'7", 325-pound tackle out of Oregon State,
Anthony Papajohn, goes to Tampa Bay
with the 22nd pick in the first round.
Dan, I'm told at the Scouting Combine last winter
that Papajohn ran the 40-yard dash
in 4.4 seconds.
That's pr etty f ast f or somebody his size.
That's pr etty f ast f or someone anyone's size,
though I suppose any play designed
f or an off ensive lineman to run 40 yards
is probably ill-conceived.
Let's go back to the Garden, [ Door opens ]
wher e Kelly Kirkpatrick is standing by live. Kelly?
Fir e me.
What?
Fir e me. Do it now.
-- Why? - I'm a bad worker.
-- No, you'r e not. -- I come late, I leave early.
You come early and you stay late.
You come in on your days off.
And isn't that a little weird?
Oh, yeah.
Well, then, enough's enough, Isaac. Fire me.
I'm not firing you.
I say things behind your back.
No, you don't.
It's behind your back, Isaac.
Ther e's no way you'd know.
It'd get back to me.
No, these things ar e too terrible,
and I can't live with the guilt.
I'll save you the trouble of firing me
and simply off er my r esignation.
-- I won't accept it. -- You have to accept it.
You have a contract.
-- Then fir e me. -- No.
I'm a racist.
Really?
Yeah, I'm a terrible racist, but I've been in the closet all these years,
and I've decided I need to live an honest lif e.
And I think all those people with the diff er ent skin colors and the f unny accents
should go back wher e they came f rom
and leave America to the white people
who killed the Indians in the first place -- which they deserved.
-- Jer emy... -- The whole country's being taken over by the blacks and the Jews.
-- You'r e Jewish. -- Well, I've got to be stopped, Isaac.
Jer emy, what is the matter with you?
I'm totally scr ewed!
Jeremy: I'm totally screwed.
Isaac: Porn star problems? -- Yes.
-- She's coming her e? -- Yes.
-- This afternoon? -- Yes.
Natalie doesn't know about her yet?
She knows I'm seeing someone.
But she doesn't know it's a porn star.
Do we have to call her a porn star?
Can we call her an adult-film actr ess or simply Jenny?
Is it important that we say "porn star"
as many times as possible?
Can we have a civilization, f or crying out loud?
Okay, okay, you'r e f r eaking out again.
Yes.
Why'd you ask Jenny to come her e?
I wanted to demonstrate to her
that I have no problem with who she is
or what she does f or a living,
that I can bring her to my workplace,
my place of business,
and introduce her to my f riends with my head held high,
with no puritanical judgments,
that it's her and me and let the r est of the world be damned if they don't like it.
I told her to come her e today so she could see
I'm not the person she thinks I am.
And?
I'm exactly the person she thinks I am.
Well, that's not too bad.
I told her to come her e at 3:00,
knowing we'd be done with the first-round coverage
by midday and Natalie would be gone by then.
You know the only thing that could f oil my plan?
Yeah, if it started to rain at Indian Wells.
-- How can it be raining at Indian Wells? -- Maybe it's the rainy season.
Indian Wells is a desert, Isaac.
If deserts had a rainy season, they'd be called something else.
Fair point.
I also told Natalie that Jenny is a chor eo-animator.
What's a chor eo-animator?
Someone who chor eographs the dances in cartoons.
-- You mean like the hippos in Fantasia? -- Yeah.
That's a gr eat job.
Nothing wrong with being a chor eo-animator.
Right, ex cept she's not a chor eo-animator,
-- she's a porn star. -- Damn!
You'r e telling me these people can't play tennis in the rain?
Well, those ar e clay courts out ther e.
And I think probably the ball would lose a little bounce
coming off the mud.
Net game, net game, net game!
Whatever happened to the f undamentals?!
For the love of God, a little civilization is all I ask!
-- Jer emy... -- Right.
So...
Fir e me.
Sorry, kid, you'r e too good. I need you her e.
What if I stand right in your office
and look you in the eye and call you Sambo?
[ Laughs ]
Thanks f or stopping by, Jer emy.
You crack me up.
-- I didn't sell it. -- No.
How do the r eal racists do it?
It's too late for you, son.
You got to be taught by your par ents.
I suppose.
Go back to work.
Yes, sir.
Casey: Offensive tackle Anthony Papajohn
taken by Tampa Bay with the 22nd pick.
Pittsburgh's on the clock. We'r e gonna take a quick br eak.
You'r e watching live coverage of Draft Day 2000
right here on CSC, so stick around.
We'r e out.
-- That was f unny bef or e -- -- Yeah?
About if a lineman has to run 40 yards,
this play was probably ill-conceived.
Thanks.
-- Look, Danny... -- Drop dead.
You owe me an apology, jackass.
And until I get one, keep your r eviews to yourself.
I'm sorry.
-- Yeah? -- I'm very sorry.
I don't think you ar e.
I am. In f act, I'm so sorry, it's almost hard f or me
to think of diff er ent ways to say "bite me."
I think you've come up with quite enough f or one day.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't think I have.
Look, can we continue this conversation someplace else?
No, I want to stay out her e, Casey. I don't want to miss
a pr ecious moment of Draft Day 2000.
[ Sighs ] Would you get your ass back her e?
You understand when you throw a hissy fit
'cause a rainout at Indian Wells means you got to work longer,
you send seismic shock waves through an organization
f ull of people who ar e under the impr ession we all enjoy doing this together?
It's not part of my job to make sur e everybody's having a good time, okay?
If it is, I need to be paid mor e.
I manage to do it whether it's a part of my job or not.
Maybe that's 'cause you are paid mor e.
Well, I'm paid considerably mor e, Danny.
Is that what you want to talk about?
Well, ex cuse me f or finding it baffling.
We do the exact same work. I write half the show. You write half the show.
Well, maybe it's because who knows when you'r e gonna decide
you'd rather play 18 holes than anchor team coverage?
God, Casey, ar en't you inter ested in having any lif e at all outside the studio?
Not r eally, but when I do decide to step out,
will you be the one to show me how it goes, 'cause your lif e's so hot, Danny?
We didn't have enough to fight about -- you had to bring up the money?
Sorry. Was I bringing you down on Draft Day 2000?
Why don't you go into the control room and pick up the troops?
That will make you f eel better.
You know what? I'm a capitalist like everyone else in this country,
and I'm paid exactly what the market will bear.
My agent asks f or an amount, and that's what they pay me,
'cause they know if they don't, somebody else will.
You ask f or the same thing, they won't pay it to you because nobody else will.
Meaning?
You came with me. Deal with it.
Dave: In 10. -- [ Scoff s ]
I know it's r eal hard
taking off that Eagle Scout unif orm,
'cause you look so snappy in it,
but I never wanted your help,
I never needed your help, and God knows I never asked f or it.
Yeah, bite me.
In 3...2...
Welcome back. Pittsburgh still has
two minutes and change bef or e they announce
their first pick of the draft, who very likely will be...
My man Lashon.
Lashon be the mon -- Lashon Tarrington
of the Florida State Seminoles,
the wide r eceiver drafted out of FSU.
-- What wer e the odds? -- Very good indeed.
-- You know, I came this close to being drafted as a wide r eceiver? -- Really? What happened?
Well, I never actually played organized ball.
-- Ah. -- And even if I had, I wasn't f ast enough to be a wide r eceiver.
-- But other than that... -- This close, my f riend.
Pittsburgh's made their selection.
Let's go to the Garden f or the commissioner's announcement.
Go one.
Desk at standby.
I am so happy in my T-shirt. I r eally am.
And I know you'd all be happy, too,
if you wer e wearing yours.
I got a whole sack of T-shirts
back in my office.
-- Dana, Elliot has something he'd like to say. -- Yeah?
No, I don't.
-- Yes, you do. Dana: Guys?
-- You'r e driving him nutsy with the T-shirts. -- Really?
l, on the other hand, would like one.
-- Oh, me too. -- I'd like a T-shirt as well.
-- Suck-ups. -- [ Laughs ]
-- Yes, indeed. -- Give me a T-shirt.
Give me one, too. I'll make it look good.
Ah, I'll go get the bag.
I'll go with you.
You see? I got them wearing T-shirts.
Ha ha! Tell me I don't have leadership skills.
So, it is confirmed, by the way.
-- Yeah? -- Jer emy's seeing someone new.
That's what I'd heard.
Well, now it's confirmed.
Yeah? You know what she does?
As a matter of f act, I do. She's a prof essional chor eo-animator.
She teaches dances to cartoon characters?
She doesn't teach them. She makes them up.
-- Of course. -- Then she demonstrates them to the animators, who draw --
Oh, who the hell car es? He's over me.
Oh, not so f ast. This is a rebound girl
while the two of you take a br eak.
No, this is what he wanted.
A chor eo-animator --
could anything be mor e symbolic?
-- Natalie... -- We broke up f undamentally 'cause I wanted
to experience mor e of the world,
and he was happy with what he had.
Now he can spend the r est of his lif e
with the cartoon characters
that graced the walls of his boyhood bedroom
during what I'm sur e was a very saf e and happy childhood.
Cartoon characters graced the walls of his boyhood bedroom?
How the hell do I know, Dana? I'm speaking metaphorically.
Oh, well, you should let me know when you do that.
I don't understand. You just f ell down?
-- Yes. -- How did you f all down?
I don't know. I was at home --
How did you f all down so that you only hurt that part of your f ace?
I didn't trace the trajectory or anything.
I just -- boop -- f ell down. Mm-hmm.
Pittsburgh took Simon Marcus.
That's not what they need.
They'r e gonna turn him into what they need.
We'r e gonna be back. Let's go.
-- Oh, Dana, the T-shirts. -- Yeah?
The T-shirts.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Why don't you tell her these ar e special circumstances?
-- Yeah? -- Special circumstances. It's your ex-girlf riend.
You made up a story 'cause you knew how hurt she'd be if she knew the truth.
Well, that's gr eat, ex cept it's not true.
Well, who car es? It's special circumstances.
I didn't make up the story f or Natalie.
I made it up f or everybody.
Anyway... special circumstances.
"Hi, I made up this story about you
'cause the whole idea of you embarrasses me."
What kind of man does that to a woman?
What, you don't think guys have done that to her bef or e?
I know they have. That's the point.
She shouldn't ever have to deal with that again, not ever.
It's cheap, it's shoddy, it's something less than right.
Well, sounds like you'r e r eady to go f or it.
I am, I absolutely am. I mean, if not now, when?
If not me, then who?
Later and somebody else.
If you could see her f ace.
By the way, when I do, am I gonna be able to r ecognize her?
-- I don't know. -- Two minutes back.
Oh, we'r e coming around again. I got to get back in.
Okay.
I'll see you inside.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Hey, sport.
Hey.
-- You look f antastic. I mean, f antastic. -- Thank you.
I do?
Really, l-I mean, your taste in clothes --
It's bluejeans and a sweatshirt.
Well, you must know the special shops or something 'cause this outfit...
Jer emy, what have you done?
It's kind of a complicated question.
Well, I'm a pr etty smart girl, Jer emy.
Why don't you run it by me?
Well, I believe you ar e worthy of nothing less than total honesty.
Ther e is nothing about your lif e that anyone need snicker at,
and anybody who does, I certainly have no use f or.
Nor is ther e anything about your lif e that I f eel ashamed of.
So, I have told everybody the absolute truth.
-- Really? -- Yes...
Ex cept -- no.
What am I?
A chor eo-animator.
A chor eo-animator?
Yes.
I make up dances f or cartoon characters?
-- Yes. -- I'm going home.
Please don't.
-- Why? -- Special circumstances.
-- Jer emy... -- N-No, special circumstances.
-- Jenny, I meant everything I said ther e bef or e. -- [ Sighs ]
I r eally do f eel that way, but you got to appr eciate that this isn't easy.
You've gotta appr eciate that it isn't easy f or people to hear,
and it isn't easy f or me to say.
But I'm trying hard.
I'm not doing that well, but I'm trying hard,
and you got to acknowledge that that's something.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Let's go.
You r eally do look f antastic.
-- Shut up. -- Absolutely.
Dan: And that's what they were looking for.
Kendall Gates, the Wolverines' all-time r ecord-holding
pass-catching tight end f rom Tuskegee,
will be trading in the maize and blue of Michigan
f or the silver and black of Oakland as the 5th pick of the second round.
-- I don't understand. You just f ell? -- Yes.
Well, how do you f all
so that that's the only part of your f ace that you hit?
Practice.
Natalie, Ryan O'Brian has been passed up by 31 teams.
5 of them twice.
He's not going to Arizona, either.
Why don't you put together some stuff f or Dan and Casey to talk about?
-- lt'll take a f ew minutes. -- Go.
This is the newsroom.
It's very cool.
I know. This is a girl, everybody.
Her name is Jenny. This is our third date.
No one asked me what you did f or a living.
For sur ely if they had, I'd have told them.
Mm-hmm. Wher e's Natalie?
-- Huh? -- Doesn't Natalie work in the newsroom?
Oh, not during showtime.
During showtime, that girl is glued to her seat in the control room.
-- Hey, Jer emy. -- And ther e's no civilization to be f ound on the planet.
You must be Jenny.
-- Natalie. -- Good to meet you.
-- I hope I'm not in the way. -- Not at all.
Make sur e you get the whole tour.
Okay, civilization lives.
-- Is it true you'r e a chor eo-animator? -- Yes.
That's really interesting. How did you get into that?
-- Uh, it's -- -- Nat, who's on the clock?
Oakland, then Seattle. And Ryan O'Brian.
This is a guy who was supposed to go in the first round
then f ell to the second and still hasn't gone.
-- And Dana wants to f eed something to Dan and Casey. -- So you gotta go. We totally understand.
-- Actually, I was gonna give it to you. -- Farming out assignments, Natalie?
Should you be shirking your r esponsibilities like that?
My r esponsibilities ar e to f arm out assignments.
Right. Okay, sitting right her e tight at my desk,
wher e I will put together material on Ryan O'Brian.
And if you two stand right ther e,
I'll be in earshot should anything happen.
How did you become a chor eo-animator?
Well, believe it or not,
I'd come to New York on a dance scholarship,
actually, to study at Juilliard, um,
but I had people back home who needed money,
and I could always draw.
And, uh, a guy off er ed me money one time to draw, and I did.
And so that's what I do now.
I'll think about you every time I see
all the fish dancing in The Little Mermaid.
Yeah, I'm proud of that one.
Jer emy -- uh, Ryan O'Brian.
-- Huh? -- Dan and Casey ar e gonna need it f or the 10 block.
Yeah.
[ Both chuckle ]
She's sweet. Why did you br eak up with her?
-- Can I talk to you in ther e f or a second? -- Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me that bef or e?
Is this Dan and Casey's office?
Yeah. Why didn't you tell me that bef or e?
-- It's pr etty small. -- Jenny...
Television isn't as glamorous on the other side of the camera,
-- but l, of all people, should know that. -- Damn it.
You never asked, Jer emy,
and I don't go through lif e singing my sad song
so people won't mind me so much.
Jer emy, did Natalie ask you --
Ryan O'Brian. I'm on it.
-- Hi. -- Hi.
-- I'm Dana Whitaker. -- Hi, Dana.
Dana, we wer e just in the middle of something.
-- Ryan O'Brian? -- I'll get you the stuff.
Why do you suppose he's dropping so --
Because he flunked the Higgins-Ferris test at the Combine.
He can't r ead def enses.
He's got the arm, he can move out of the pocket,
but he can't r ead Dr. Seuss, much less a nickel zone. I will get you the stuff.
Okay.
-- You'r e a chor eo-animator? -- Yes.
-- Dana... -- Tell me something.
When the hippos in Fantasia --
She's not a choreo-animator. She's a porn star.
You got a problem with that?
No.
Okay, then. I will get you the stuff on O'Brian.
Okay.
See that? You see what I just did?
Jer emy, you did not hear what I said.
-- No, I did. -- Look, I don't want what happened, how I got her e --
I don't want to have to --
I am perf ectly at peace with what I do.
-- And I am at peace with what you do, too. -- No, you'r e not.
No, no, I'm not, but I can get ther e. I r eally can.
I can try, and I can get used to it.
I mean, you gotta r emember, with any two people,
it's gonna be hard, but these -- I mean, you --
these ar e special circumstances,
if ever ther e wer e.
But I like you so much, Jenny,
and it's only our third date.
I like you so much, and I am telling you
the day will come when I'm at peace,
and until then, I'm just gonna try.
It's not good enough f or me.
Okay.
So long.
[ Pills rattle in bottle ]
[ Sighs ]
Hey.
-- [ Gasps ] -- Oh, sorry.
Oh, you scar ed me.
Sorry.
I should give you that 100 bucks now.
Ther e's still 21 picks left in the second round.
I missed five. Did you get Rof of sky?
-- Yeah. -- Have you missed any so f ar?
-- No. -- I gotta get back. [ Chuckles ]
Dana, I'm not saying you've got the physical grace
-- of a cougar or anything... -- Look...
but you don't just f all down.
-- My skin br eaks out. -- I know.
I was ther e in college and that time in L.A.
It's a r ecurring nervous condition.
What happened?
[ Chuckles ] It r ecurr ed.
What ar e you nervous about?
I...don't know.
Is it the show?
I... [ Sighs ]
[ Exhales sharply ]
...r eally don't know.
Look, don't worry about me and Danny, all right?
Oh, I could kill him sometimes.
He blew off the golf game. He stayed f or the second round.
I'm supposed to consider that magnanimous?
No...but don't worry about it.
-- They put together some stuff on Ryan O'Brian f or you. -- Yeah.
Give us a 30-, 45-second intro,
then throw it to Callie at the Garden.
She'll do a quick stand-up, then right back to you.
-- This set? -- Yeah.
Okay. So don't worry about it.
I should have had mor e T-shirts made.
Well, next year.
Next year I will.
Uh, okay... [ Chuckles ] Let's go.
You'll ask Casey what it means to drop f rom the first to the second round.
-- He'll tell me. -- Yes.
Then you'll ask about the Higgins-Ferris test.
-- And he'll tell me. -- Yes.
-- Let me ask you a question. -- Yeah?
-- Why isn't he asking me? -- Danny...
No, I mean, why am I always the one who -- who asks,
and he's always the one who knows?
You'r e not always the one, Danny.
My assignments ar e very even. What's mor e, you know that.
Not today.
Dave: 10 seconds live. -- Today I'm pissed at you,
and I'm in no mood to make you look smart. You don't like it, lump it.
-- Natalie... -- Take it down the road and dump it. Her e we go!
Hey, we're doing the, uh --
-- Yeah. -- Okay.
In 3...2...
We'r e back. One of the stories we've been tracking today
is the f all of quarterback Ryan O'Brian,
the fifth-year senior out of Clemson
and the runner-up f or this year's Heisman Trophy.
O'Brian was projected as a middle to late first-round pick.
Her e we ar e in the second round,
and Ryan and the O'Brian f amily
ar e still waiting f or the phone to ring.
Casey, tell us, why should we car e?
What the hell is he --
-- Why should we car e? -- Yeah.
Well, a drop f rom the first round
to the second round r epr esents a loss
of millions of dollars to the player.
Well, that's why Ryan O'Brian should car e.
-- I'm asking why we should car e. -- Ah.
We'r e doing it on our show. Ther e must be a r eason
we think our viewers should or might care
that this 22-year-old quarterback
f rom Clemson's gonna make only $3 million his first year instead of $5 million.
Well, l, uh...
Good answer, Casey.
We'r e gonna go to Callie Gathers at the Garden.
Maybe she can help us out. Callie?
-- We'r e out. Callie: Thanks, Dan. Here's the latest on Ryan O'Brian.
-- What the hell was that? -- Look...
No, I mean, what the hell ar e you doing, Danny?
I'm sorry.
I'm r eally sorry, Casey. That -- that was over the line.
I'm r eally sorry. Please...
Dave: 10 seconds live.
Let's get it back.
Yeah, okay.
-- Yeah. [ Clears throat ] -- It's all right.
Dave: In 3...2...
Thank you, Callie Gathers.
We'll be bringing you mor e on the f all of Ryan O'Brian
as well as all the second-round picks
f or this -- CSC's extended live coverage
of Draft Day 2000.
I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall, and we'll be back.
I wouldn't lie to you.
We're out.
[ Rock music plays ]