'2...3... '
-- Is it noticeable? -- The bandage?
-- Yes. -- No.
-- Ex cept you just noticed it. -- I didn't notice it.
I asked you, "Did you notice it?"
And you said, "What, the bandage?"
-- I guessed at it. -- Really?
-- You used powers of suggestion. -- Really?
You have a bandage the size of a sleeping bag
on your f ace, Dana. Of course it's noticeable.
-- Yes. -- But you look fine.
The question -- the r eal question --
the question is wher e do you put Tommy Castro?
-- Fifth in the second. -- No!
San Diego's gonna take him fifth.
San Diego doesn't need help outside.
Not now, but they'r e gonna trade Dobson up f or the 17th pick in the first round. You watch.
Castro to San Diego in the second?
-- Yeah. -- All right.
Castro's an attractive man.
-- Natalie... -- I'm just saying.
Just saying what?
That I find his taut and muscular body
and piercing gr een eyes to be attractive
and that I'd like to have sex with him.
You need to calm down.
I should call him up and tell him that.
Yeah, that's what you want to do.
It's 2:20 in the morning. We've been her e f or almost two hours.
-- You want to go home? -- No, I'm just saying.
You'r e just saying what?
I'm saying wher e ar e the men?!
I'm saying what happened to the boys?
I've been telling you, Natalie, they all went off to fight Germany and Japan.
Best we can do is sell war bonds
and give them a dance at the USO.
-- What happened to men hitting on women in bars? -- Uh-huh.
It's 2:00 A.M., I'm obviously drunk,
and I'm sitting her e!
-- Natalie... -- Sorry, Jack.
See, you got us in trouble.
Jack's cute.
Natalie, we've got a 3-hour broadcast tomorrow.
Seriously, we've got to finish the pr ep.
I'm thinking about getting drunk tonight.
Okay.
Whitson, Woodson, Rof of sky --
17, 18, 19.
-- Look at it again. -- I looked at it enough.
Or maybe Tommy Castro.
-- You want me to r ead it out loud? -- No, it's not gonna be Tommy Castro.
It's f rom prof essional golf's very own David Duval.
You know, I don't think it's gonna be Tommy Castro.
I don't think it's gonna be Castro
because I think Cap Harris knows something
about his knees that I don't know.
PGA superstar David Duval.
-- Natalie. -- Yeah?
I want to know mor e about Tommy Castro's knees.
You and me both, sailor man.
-- What the hell? -- She's fine.
Ther e is a skill. Ther e is an art.
Ther e's an art to Draft Day pr edictions.
Ther e's an art to winning money f rom Dana.
It's like getting a fine hound to swallow a pill.
Ex cuse me. Hi. Would you mind r eading that?
Sur e.
Out loud.
Uh, "To Dan Rydell."
-- That's me. -- I'm Karen.
I don't car e. I need you to keep r eading.
"4 :00 P.M. Saturday at Alpine.
-- See you in the sand trap." -- Read who it's f rom.
-- "David Dynel." -- That's David Duval.
-- l-lt looks like a "Y." -- No, it's a "U."
Okay.
-- That's a phone message f rom David Duval to me. -- Yes...
-- The David Duval. -- The guy f rom "The Godf ather"?
-- That's Robert Duvall. -- The actor.
Yes, I'm talking about David Duval, the golf er.
I don't know who he is.
Well, I'm playing golf with him tomorrow.
And if you knew who he was, you'd think that was cool.
Danny, please stop hitting on women in bars who aren't me!
Natalie...
Sorry, Jack.
If Casey's taking Whitson, Woodson, and Rof of sky --
17 up -- that means he knows something about Tommy Castro's knees
he's not sharing with the r est of us.
And f or that, I'm af raid he's gonna have to pay a price.
A crisp $ 100 bill would do nicely!
Dana.
Sorry, Jack.
A crisp $ 100 bill f rom Casey.
A Mr. Abraham Lincoln.
Casey changed his name to Abraham Lincoln?
-- No, on the $ 100 bill. -- Benjamin Franklin.
Okey-dokey, then.
Do you think if Benjamin Franklin
was in this bar right now, he'd try to hit on me?
Man, do I wish we wer e covering mor e than the first round tomorrow.
I love Draft Day.
I live f or Draft Day
and for Casey bringing me a $ 100 bill in his teeth.
I like Draft Day, too.
Yeah, it's a gr eat day.
[ Glasses clink ] To Draft Day.
Her e ar e the rules.
I know the rules.
[ Chuckles ] We'r e gonna go over the rules.
I know the rules.
Yeah, but what's the f un of playing a game
if you'r e not gonna go over the rules?
Yes, that's the f un part.
The f ollowing ar e the rules.
You'r e such a loser.
All pr edictions must be made
-- bef or e the commissioner r eaches the podium. -- Yes.
Okay, those wer e the rules.
Can we go over that first one again?
By the way, it's Benjamin Franklin on the $ 100 bill.
Who said it wasn't?
Nobody. I'm just saying if maybe you thought
-- it was Abraham Lincoln... -- No.
-- Don't you just love Draft Day? -- Yes, I do.
[ Chuckles ] Don't you wish we wer e covering mor e
-- than the first round? -- Yes, I do.
You know something about Tommy Castro's knees, don't you?
Well, just, you know, what everybody knows.
-- Yeah? -- Yeah.
Okay.
-- Hey, Jer emy. -- Hey, Jer emy.
Hello. What's happening now?
Nothing. I'm leaving.
-- Ah. -- To go.
Okay.
She's cooked.
Hey, what's a chor eo-animator?
-- A chor eo-animator? I don't know. -- Yeah.
Well, I was on the elevator, and somebody said to somebody else
that they wer e a chor eo-animator.
-- I don't know. -- That's troublesome.
Hey.
Whitson, Woodson, Rof of sky.
-- You know something about Tommy Castro's knees? -- No.
Whitson, Castro, Woodson, Rof of sky.
Heh-hey, Draft Day, baby!
-- Yes, indeed... [High-pitched] baby! -- [ Cheering ]
You ever notice how I can't say "baby"
-- without sounding ridiculous? -- I have noticed that.
Ther e ar e lots of words I can't use that I'd like to.
-- Like what? -- "Dang."
You know, I see what you mean.
I have uses f or that.
Say, Jer emy...
-- Dan told you. -- Yes.
That was so unbelievably pr edictable.
So as to not even merit discussion,
-- so let's move on. -- Oh, let's do.
You'r e dating a porn star?
I have met and spent social time
with an actr ess who appears in adult films, yes.
How you manage to make dating a porn star
sound like a day at the public library is beyond me.
Well, dang, Casey.
-- What's her name? -- Her real name or her screen name?
-- Scr een name. -- Well, I won't tell you that.
-- Well, what's her r eal name? -- Jenny.
-- Oh, so this is pr etty serious. -- Well, I know her real name,
so, I mean, we'r e at that point in our r elationship.
Seriously, Jer emy, you like her?
I r eally do.
-- Does she like sports? -- She likes sports. We talk about sports.
You'r e dating a porn star who likes sports?
I know, that's why I'm not talking about it.
Any minute now my mother's gonna wake me up
and tell me it's time to go to school.
Oh, well, the thing is, while you may not be talking about it,
-- other people ar e. -- People know about Jenny?
People know you'r e seeing someone,
but they don't know what she does ex cept f or Danny and me.
See your way clear to keeping it that way, if you could.
-- Yeah, but I'm just saying -- -- Natalie.
She knows you'r e seeing somebody,
and I thought maybe you could say a word to her
to let the healing process begin
so ther e could be a process of healing that could begin.
Why ar e you talking like somebody
who didn't get the lectur e notes f or Intro to Psych?
Jer emy, ther e ar e icicles growing off the ceiling of this place.
-- Ther e is tension her e -- tension on Draft Day. -- That shouldn't be.
No, and as the kind of ad hoc dir ector of morale around her e --
-- You'r e the dir ector of morale? -- Yeah.
-- When did that happen? -- Well, it was ad hoc. -- Okay.
-- So...you'll maybe say a word to her? -- Yeah, thanks.
All right. So, Whitson, Castro, Woodson --
Rof of sky.
Gr eat. Can you just tell me --
Jenny...
Was she in "Deep Throat"?
Yeah, Casey, I'm dating a porn star
who's a contemporary of my grandmother.
Well, I got to get into a video stor e one of these days.
I am missing this whole thing.
You r eally do want to be a part of it.
[ Bags rustling ]
[ Knocks ] Isaac.
[ Lid slams ]
-- What happened to your f ace? -- What do you mean?
-- You have a bandage on your f ace. -- It's noticeable?
-- Yes. -- I fell on my f ace.
-- Literally? -- Can you believe the metaphor?
Did you trip over something?
No, just f ell down.
Okay.
-- Don't you love Draft Day? -- I do.
-- I had T-shirts made. -- Yes, I see.
They say, "I survived Draft Day at Sports Night."
They'r e very sharp.
See how I played the "day" and the "night" off each other?
-- Oscar Wilde would have been proud. -- [ Laughs ]
-- Next year, Isaac. -- Dana...
Next year, you got to make them do it.
-- Listen... -- It's not enough just covering the first round.
We've got to cover at least the first two rounds, at least.
-- Dana... -- At minimum.
-- What is that?! -- Open it.
-- It's f or me? -- Yes.
-- What is it? -- Open it!
-- It's a f ax. -- Yes.
-- What's it say? -- You'r e holding it in your hands.
[ Sighs ] "With rain thr eatening to wash out
"scheduled coverage at Indian Wells,
"please be pr epar ed to stay on the air
an additional --" [ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
-- How 'bout that? -- The second round.
If it rains at Indian Wells.
-- We'r e gonna cover the second round! -- If it rains.
-- Make sur e it rains. -- I'll try.
Don't try, Isaac. Get it done.
Anyway, get everybody set just in case.
You better believe it, baby!
Okay.
The T-shirts ar e 100%cotton.
Okay. [ Laughs ]
Jack Jankowicz is in Baltimor e. Kelly's in St. Louis.
We added two mor e staff ers at the Garden.
-- Natalie, you know what would make you a better golf er? -- Learning to play golf?
Focusing less on r esults.
Carol and Tim --
You know, golf is 50%mental.
I'm beginning to think that so ar e you, Dan.
Guess what -- guess what's happened.
You bought T-shirts f or everybody.
I did buy T-shirts f or everybody, but --
Dana, how you spend your time and money sometimes amazes me.
-- Well, I got a deal. -- Please tell me they wer e f r ee.
I thought people might like them.
Absolutely. Now if you'll just bring out the juice and crackers --
Stop it. What's going on?
Man, Danny, no wonder Casey can't stand you these days.
-- Dana! -- Sorry. It might rain at Indian Wells.
If it does, we stay on the air f or the second round.
Ex cellent.
W-What ar e you talking about?
It might rain at Indian Wells.
-- I heard that part. -- If it does, we stay on the air --
-- I'm not staying on the air. -- Of course you ar e.
-- No, I'm not. -- Why not?
I'm playing golf this afternoon.
-- You play golf many afternoons. -- This is David Duval.
With whom you play golf thr ee times a year.
And with whom I'm playing golf this afternoon.
Well, not if it rains at Indian Wells.
I don't car e if it snows in Saskatchewan. I had plans.
-- Dan... -- Casey can anchor the second round by himself.
I know, but it's better if he has a partner.
-- Better f or who? -- Whom, Dan. Better for whom.
Dana --
Better f or the show. Take car e of this.
Dan.
Natalie, this is my 13th day in a row working.
-- And everyone appr eciates it. -- Do you understand -- this sucks.
I had plans, too, Danny.
I was gonna hang around construction sites, but --
-- I'm not doing it. -- You say that now.
I'm gonna say it later, too. I'm not doing it.
Kim: Five minutes to air. First team in the studio.
Yeah, I'm not doing it.
-- 10 seconds live. -- Stand by sound.
Stand by F /X-1, -2, and -2A.
-- Natalie... -- Don't worry about it. He'll be fine.
Good show, everybody.
In 3...2...
Good morning. From New York City,
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell
f or a special CSC pr esentation of Draft Day 2000.
We'll have all the first-round action
f rom Madison Squar e Garden, including analyses,
pr edictions, r eactions, and mor e.
Her e's how we play our game.
Teams have 15 minutes to make their selection.
Once they do, the general manager
will join the commissioner at the podium
to let some young man's par ents know
their son won't be needing his allowance anymor e.
-- Stand by 4. -- Cleveland's on the clock with the first selection,
and with that, we take you to Kelly Kirkpatrick
-- live at the Garden. Kelly? Dave: We're out.
This is stand by. I'll get a 30-second cue f rom the Garden on comeback.
Garden, don't leave me in the woods her e. Give me the 4 11, the whole ride.
We ar e underway.
We ar e underway... [Dramatically] baby!
That didn't work.
-- No, that was good. -- I sounded like an idiot.
It was sweet.
-- Her e's the part I don't understand. -- Absolutely.
-- I will never understand this part. -- And neither will I.
Cleveland's had f our months to make this decision.
And yet rather than go up on stage and tell the world what it alr eady knows...
They'r e gonna take the 15 minutes.
15 minutes of sitting around and waiting.
-- 15 minutes wher e we have no r esponsibilities at all. Dana: Ex cuse me...
Ar e you asking if it's okay if you go get a danish f rom the guy downstairs?
They'r e the r eally good ones today.
-- Get me cinnamon. -- Cheese. -- Prune.
-- Cheese. -- Cinnamon. -- Prune?
-- It's good. -- Prune.
-- Did you get all that? -- No, but I don't car e that much.
You know, I don't see a lot of people wearing T-shirts her e.
In f act, I see a total of, hmm, none.
I'm saving mine f or a special occasion.
-- Like what? -- Labor Day.
It's a Draft Day T-shirt, Jer emy.
You'r e supposed to be wearing it on Draft Day.
Dana, the T-shirt says, "I survived Draft Day," which I've not yet done.
He's got a point.
-- Shut up! -- Okay.
-- Str etching my legs. -- Stay close.
-- Why does he have to say that? -- Look...
Why does he have to say he's str etching his legs
when he's obviously --
-- Draft Day spirit, Natalie. -- I'm just saying.
-- You'r e just saying what? -- He calls her f our times a day.
We went out f or a year. He never called me f our times in a day.
You worked together f rom noon to midnight.
I have a desk, Dana. I have an extension.
-- Yes. -- Totally unencumber ed.
Any man who wanted to could just have me right now.
Sit down!
"A" -- it might not rain. "B" -- if it rains, you play with him some other time.
-- Whatever. -- Want to help me with my picks?
Whitson, Woodson, Rof of sky. Casey, what's the trouble?
Whitson, Castro, Woodson, Rof of sky.
See, neither you nor Dana have master ed
what we like to call the art of the hunt.
Dana thinks I know something about Castro's knees,
which I do not.
This is what we like to call the classic psych-out.
Casey?
Yeah.
I'm listening to you, you know.
I know.
See, this is still part of the psych-out.
I'm gonna go lie down on the couch in editing.
Hey, we could be back any second.
It takes 15 minutes, Casey. It always takes 15 minutes.
The day it takes less than 15 minutes
is the day the sky f alls down. Somebody shout f or me.
-- Hello. -- Hello.
Dan, I need you close.
Dana, I'm going to the damn editing room.
Okay!
Uh...uh-huh.
3:00.
Hey.
I'm totally fine with this.
-- He's making me crazy. -- Really, I'm fine.
If you wer e her e, you'd look at me,
-- you'd say, "He looks fine." -- He looks fine.
3:00.
-- Well... -- Was that her?
Jenny.
-- Was that her? -- Yes.
I'm walking the shadowy line between honesty and not.
[ Chuckles ] What'd you do?
I want to be out in the open about this. I don't want to make her f eel like --
She's paid to have sex with, like, a hundr ed diff er ent guys on camera?
Like I'm ashamed of her, yeah.
So you invited her over her e
-- Yeah. -- to show her to the gang.
-- Yeah. -- And tell everyone what she does?
If they ask, yeah.
-- Okay. -- If they ask.
I'm not making a cover story. I mean, I can't think
-- of anything that'd be mor e insulting than making -- -- Yeah.
The thing is, the first round will be done by 2:00,
and I told her to come at 3:00, when I knew Natalie wasn't gonna be her e anymor e.
-- Yeah. -- I'm feeling kind of bad about that.
Well, cheer up then.
-- Why? -- If it rains at Indian Wells,
we'r e covering the second round.
-- What do you mean? -- If it rains at Indian Wells,
-- we'r e covering the second round. -- I don't understand.
If it rains at Indian Wells, we'r e covering the second round.
The second round will take us to 6:00, maybe 7 :00.
-- I told Jenny to come at 3:00. -- Maybe she'll be late.
-- She won't be late. -- She's a pr etty punctual porn star?
-- Dan... -- I like alliteration. Take it easy.
It cannot, it must not rain at Indian Wells.
Hey, I got a tee time with David Duval, so get in line.
Though, inter estingly, it was a rainstorm that ended our first fight.
-- Interesting. -- All right, back to being panicked.
It cannot...
it must not rain at Indian Wells.
Hello.
-- Hello. -- Hello.
What ar e you doing?
Demonstrating to Casey that he can't psych me out.
I've made my Draft Day pr edictions. I'm not changing them.
Okay, well, this is r eally stupid, and I need to talk to Casey, so...
-- Danish. -- Uh, hang on, hang on.
I am br eaking eye contact now,
but not because you've won some battle of the mind,
but because the danish is her e.
I'm br eaking...now.
You guys seriously need to calm down.
-- I know. -- What's up?
I'm walking the shadowy line between honesty and deceit.
Ah, I know that line well.
One need only to think back to Dana and Gordon
and Sally and me and Dana and Sally and Gordon.
Right, but this is my thing, and this is now, so let's not think back so much.
Jenny's coming her e at 3:00, which I thought was both wise and good
since I wanted to show Jenny that I'm pr epar ed to be totally upf ront about who she is.
-- While still avoiding telling Natalie who she is. -- Yes.
-- Indian Wells. -- Yes.
-- Chance of rain. -- Yes.
-- Second-round coverage. -- Yes.
-- Jer emy Goodwin... totally scr ewed. -- Yes.
-- You like Draft Day, don't you? -- To an admittedly psychotic extent, yes.
See, and that's another thing, too,
'cause I'd like to be rooting f or rain at Indian Wells.
I wanted to go to the second round.
-- But now? -- Not so much.
Jer emy, listen to me.
Why don't you just rip the bandage off,
bite the bullet, swallow hard, and tell her?
You got to stop living in f ear and start rooting f or rain at Indian Wells.
-- Yes! -- Good!
-- That makes sense to me. -- Good.
-- That makes complete sense. -- Yes.
-- I will go. -- And yet you stand her e.
Yes...okay.
I will go.
-- It's Draft Day, Alyson. -- Yeah.
-- Nothin' like it. -- Yep.
-- You know what Draft Day is? -- Nope.
Okay.
I'm good-looking, I'm smart,
car eer-oriented, I have sass.
-- You smell good. -- I smell gr eat.
-- Okay. -- I'm just saying...
-- Natalie. Just the woman I'm looking f or. -- Hello.
Coming out of the mouth of anyone
but the guy I just broke up with, that'd make my day.
I broke up with you, but that seems neither her e nor ther e.
Can I talk to you a second?
I broke up with you ther e,
Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss
"with a myriad of other problems
"which I won't even go into,
"but thinks that he broke up with me
because of the short-term memory loss, which is so obvious."
No need to be f ormal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jer emy.
-- What do you want? -- Can I talk to you in ther e?
Sur e.
Yes?
Hi.
Hi!
So, ar en't you just nuts about Draft Day?
Jer emy, I know you'r e seeing someone.
Yeah, well, look, first of all,
I just met her r ecently, and I've only seen her a couple of times.
-- You don't have to apologize. -- Well, I'm not apologizing.
-- Okay. -- I'm sorry you had to hear it through the grapevine.
-- That's wher e you hear things. -- Yeah, I should have told you, though.
Well, I'm not sur e you'r e right,
but you obviously made an eff ort,
and I appr eciate your bravery and honesty in coming to me.
And I appr eciate your saying that,
and I appr eciate your being cool about it.
Jer emy, please, I'm gonna walk out of her e, and I'm gonna br eak things,
-- but f or right now, in -- -- Yeah.
You'r e an upf ront guy, Jer emy.
You should stay that way.
I'll try.
-- What does she do? -- Hmm?
What does she do?
-- For a living? -- Yeah.
She's a prof essional chor eo-animator.
-- Really? What is that? -- Yeah.
-- What is it? -- Yeah.
What does it sound like to you?
It sounds like she makes up dance steps
f or cartoon characters.
Wow. That's exactly what it is.
She makes up dance steps f or cartoon characters?
-- You got a problem with that? -- No.
Any r eason I should be ashamed of that?
She makes up dance steps f or cartoon characters?
Well, it's not like they make them up themselves, now, is it, Natalie?
-- You'r e right. -- Yes.
-- Okay. -- I have to go now.
Are you going f ar?
If only I could.
-- Hey. -- Hey.
They r eally needed the whole damn 15 minutes, huh?
Well, Dan, I think they want to be sur e about their decisions bef or e they put $ 10 million
and the f utur e of a f ootball team in a guy's hands.
What's your problem?
[ Sighs ]
-- Wher e'd you go, man? -- I've been here.
No, you didn't come into work today. You haven't come into work in a week.
Everybody her e would like to be playing golf with David Duval.
Everybody her e would like to be with their new girlf riend
or back with their old boyf riend
or with their wif e in Connecticut or getting a danish,
but mor e than that, they'd rather be her e.
-- Wher e'd you go? -- You know, Casey, I'm getting a little tir ed of you
-- being senior camp counselor around here. -- [ Clears throat ]
I come to work. I do my job. I do it well.
Maybe not well enough to be 92nd on the list...
-- Oh, come on, Danny. -- but I do it well enough.
-- You know what I'm talking about. -- Leave me alone.
Hey, you know what? If you'r e not her e, then I can't use you.
You can't "use" me?
[ Sighs ] That's right.
-- When did I become Ed McMahon to you? -- No, you'r e not, and you know it, all right?
But I need to be able to do my show.
And when did it become your show?
Come on, we'r e on the air.
[ Door hinges cr eak ]
You had to make f un of Dana's T-shirts?
We'll talk about it later.
-- Hey, Jer emy, we'r e back. -- Yeah.
-- How'd it go? -- I'm still living in that shadowy place.
Casey, Dan, I'm transf erring live f ootage to your monitors. Take a look.
It's raining at Indian Wells.
Oh, God.
Dave: In 10.
In 5...4...3...2...1 .
So the newest member of the f raternity
of prof essional athletes has just been selected,
and something tells me this is just the beginning.
Stay with us for all the action
as we bring you not one but two rounds of Draft Day 2000.
You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
Dave: We're out.
[ Rock music plays ]