And then you go like this.
And then the music goes dah dah dah dah-dah-dah,
and then you finish like this.
Do you think I'll make the cheer squad?
Can I be frank with you?
Of course. After all, your podcast is called
"Getting Frank with Franklin."
Frankly, you were amazing.
I only wish my listeners could see your routine.
I'm your only listener, so technically, they can.
Today's episode was written,
produced, and edited by me, Franklin.
And our outro today was performed by me, also Franklin.
"Getting F-F-F-F-Frank with Franklin"!
That was my 99th episode.
Wow. You should do something special for your 100th.
Yeah. Maybe you could have a guest other than me.
Mrs. Otto, I've always wanted to know
who the woman is behind the laundry basket.
Would you be my guest on the 100th episode
of "Getting Frank with Franklin"?
Here are my demands...
I want a comfy chair, peanut butter pretzels,
and if Hollywood decides to make a TV show out of it,
I want Scarlett Johansson to play me.
Done, done, and I love the confidence, lady.
You should interview the whole family.
Yes! This is going to be the best 100th episode ever!
Or best 107th,
if, as I suspect, I've counted wrong.
♪
-- Subs by kinglouisxx -- for www.addic7ed.com
♪
I call this "Huevos Ottos."
It's like Huevos Rancheros, but instead of pinto beans,
I used bacon, 'cause that's all you had in your meat drawer.
And your veggie drawer.
Mmm, delicious.
Yeah, yeah. He made eggs.
I'm trying to tell you about the app we're working on.
Gyftee is ready for a trial run, and if it's successful,
that alone will get me into Harvard.
Then Cooper will roll up his sleeves,
buckle down, and buy his way in.
Has anybody seen my Oranginas?
Oh, Cooper and I drank them.
I was expecting juice,
but it was more like orange soda
that didn't have the courage of its conviction.
They had a Post-it with my name on it.
I'll just buy some more.
There you go. Give 'em hell, honey!
Mr. Otto, would it be okay if I used your office
to interview people for my 100th podcast?
It has the best acoustics in the house
and your desk chair is good for my sciatica.
Of course. Wow, 100 episodes.
I gotta say, I'm impressed
with your stick-to-itiveness, Franklin.
Speaking of which, Katie, how's your mommy vlog going?
You haven't done an entry in a week.
I don't know, Greg.
How are those dumbbells in the garage
you bought four years ago?
I strained my shoulder. It takes time to heal.
I'm taking a breather from my vlog.
The truth is, it eats up a lot of time,
and realistically, the chances of it being successful
in the long term are slim.
- Mm. - Hey, Mom, check it out.
I can do the splits.
Honey, that is amazing.
But you know what might be
better for you than cheerleading?
School mascot.
You don't think I'll make the squad?
Of course I do.
But there are so many cheerleaders
and only one mascot, so that's special.
And you're special.
So, there's a convergence of specialness...
Which is special.
Dad, there's another attack ad against you,
but this time it's from Principal Ablin.
Greg Otto is running for City Council,
and he says he's one of you.
But is he?
He's only been in Westport for four years.
My family has been here for over 2,000 years.
Greg Otto pronounces Compo Beach "Campo Beach."
He's not one of us.
"Campo Beach"?
I thought I knew you.
None of that is true!
So what are you going to do about it?
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
Nothing.
I'm going to take the high road.
I will not get in the muck
- with my opponents. - [Doorbell rings]
Oh, Greg. You are already so mucked.
Andre, what are you doing here?
Uh, you forgot your sweater in class,
so I thought I'd drop by on my way home.
Don't you live on campus?
Yeah, yeah. Let me correct myself.
I thought that I'd drop off your sweater nowhere near my home.
[Laughs]
So I'll, uh, see you in school on Monday.
In that sweater or wear whatever you want,
or you don't have to wear anything at all.
I mean, wear something. Bye!
Oy.
[Giggles]
ABLIN: You've never seen Greg Otto
and the Prime Minister of Turkey in the same room.
A lot of people are asking why.
Mr. Otto?!
I'm not the Prime Minister of Turkey!
♪
Why haven't you been practicing your cheerleading routine?
Maybe my mom's right.
She tried to spin the whole mascot thing,
but what she's really telling me
is that I'm not gonna make the team.
She's not wrong.
When I do a cartwheel, my hands and feet don't leave the ground.
I'm all cart, no wheel.
But let's not talk about me.
This is your day.
How do I look?
Like a tween George Stephanopoulos.
Siri, show me George Stephanopoulos.
[Cellphone beeps]
Bangin'.
♪
Hey, Dad, can I get a level on you?
Four score...
That's enough.
Welcome to the 100th episode of "Getting Frank with Franklin."
My first guest is a Pulitzer Prize-winning author,
Greg Otto.
I don't have one of those.
No? Disappointing.
We know you're a busy man.
You're a father, you're a professor,
you're running for City Council,
which leads me to my first question...
Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair
or sweat maple syrup?
That's a tough one to start.
I'd say sweat maple syrup.
I struggle with that one every day.
Along those same lines...
Why do you completely lack any sort of backbone?
Excuse me?
It's been my observation that letting people push you around
is a continuing theme in your life.
Where are you getting that?
Letting that attack ad slide makes you look weak.
I'm taking the high road!
Westport is going to pave right over your "high road"
if you don't wake up, speak up, and sack up!
♪
How'd it go?
Much, much franker than I thought.
So, what are your guys' plans after high school?
- Well, we're going to... - Harvard, and then on to...
Business school.
Then we're moving to New York to start our own...
BOTH: Boutique hedge fund.
Jinx, you owe me a billion dollars!
Hey, Franklin, what time is it?
Time to get frank with Franklin.
You two have what's called a "boy and his dog" relationship.
What are you talking about?
Don't you have any of your own plans?
We just have the same interests,
and that's why we have the same plan.
No, you don't. Oliver, you have the plan.
This one follows you around like a lost puppy.
Y-You're way off base, amigo.
- Yeah. - And look who's talking.
You follow Anna-Kat around all the time.
Yeah, she's my girlfriend. It's called being a G.
[Hip-hop music plays]
♪
And we're back.
I-I-I'm no puppy.
I started using bath bombs and Oliver copied me.
- And... - I'm sorry, we're out of time.
But thank you, Cooper and Oliver, for being my guests.
Oliver, you go first.
Cooper will follow.
♪
He can't talk to us like that.
We're Cooliver, damn it.
What the hell is happening in there?
I don't want to talk about it.
[Door opens, closes]
Taylor Otto?
Right this way, please.
[Door opens, closes]
- Mom? - Just be brave.
After it's all over,
we'll go to the pharmacy and you can pick out a toy.
♪
So, Taylor, what's your favorite color?
Uh...
blue?
According to my research, that's correct.
Oh, yes, I knew it!
Look, Taylor, we've had our ups and downs,
minor flirtations,
but we've both come out the other side as friends.
I'm really thrilled you're on my 100th episode.
Thank you.
Well, I think that's it.
- Oh, really? - That's it?!
That's all you're gonna say to this cheating harlot?
- Hey! - Sorry, she's just very protective of Trip.
She doesn't want him to get hurt
because of what you're doing with Andre.
There is nothing going on between me and Andre.
Oh, please.
Leaving a sweater behind
so they'll have to bring it back to you?
Oldest trick in the book.
Get her! Be frank with her, Franklin!
This is not a crime.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
No one is here to judge you, Taylor.
- She is. - Strumpet!
What is that?! Use modern words!
What my associate's trying to say is
you better figure out who you want to be with
before someone gets hurt.
What I'm trying to say is, you a ho.
Is that modern enough for you?
♪
Seriously, what the hell is happening in there?
It's an ambush in there! Trust no one!
[Door opens]
Mrs. Otto?
Yes?
I'm taking my pepperoni pizza Lunchables break.
I'm not sponsored yet, but I'm hoping to be soon.
Mm.
[Door closes]
♪
We're ready to do a test run on our app.
Some avocado toast for the big wigs?
I think it's well-documented
that I don't like your personality,
I think your hair is a bit much,
I can't stand your face.
But this...
This is the best damn avocado toast I have ever had!
Also, your shoes irk me.
Okay, I get my personality, but my face and my shoes?
You're out of your mind.
If this operates properly, Gyftee will sift through
all my social-media data and pick the perfect gift for me.
[Tone plays]
What's it suggesting?
It's a welcome mat that says "go away."
It works!
Yes! Let me try.
- [Tone plays] - What's it say?
Perfect!
It's a money clip engraved with the words
"Eat, Sleep, Win, Gloat."
Now do me.
[Tone plays]
You got the same money clip!
Dude, this thing rules!
[Sighs]
What's wrong?
I don't know. I thought maybe it might give me something else.
Like some cooking supplies.
No, the app is working perfectly.
We'll need the money clip after we graduate from Harvard
and start making mad skrilla.
Well, what if I don't want to go to Harvard?
But Harvard's our dream.
It's your dream.
Are you two breaking up?
Maybe Franklin's right.
I always do what you want, go where you want.
Not anymore!
I recognize your expression from my emotion flashcards.
You are clearly hungry.
Have some more avocado toast.
[Sighs]
♪
Franklin put it all in perspective.
Greg Otto is done taking crap from people!
Except me.
I still want you to take crap from me.
I know. What if I come back at Ablin
by making buttons that say "Ablin is Ab-Lyin'?"
I love everything about that idea except the button
and what you're going to write on it.
I guess being cutthroat just isn't in my nature.
Damn it, I'm letting Franklin down!
What is up with this family listening to Franklin?
He eats pistachios with the shells on them.
- [Groans] - Honey, what did Franklin say to you?
Tell me.
[Sighs]
He said I have feelings for Andre, my TA.
Do you?
I don't know.
Andre's just so different than Trip.
He's worldly and cultured,
and Trip is none of those things,
but I love him.
Franklin said I have to explore my feelings.
He said I'm not being fair to either of them.
What is Franklin learning in those special ed classes?
He does have a point, though.
You're only 19.
This is the time where you need to figure out who you are
and who you want to be with.
I don't know who I want to be with!
What kind of man am I?
I don't know who I am!
[Door opens]
Mrs. Otto, you're up.
♪
I don't know exactly how you made my whole family
question their entire lives,
but just so you know, you're not gonna rattle me.
I understand.
Anna-Kat, can you please excuse us?
Of course.
Wh-Wh-Where's she going?
I like to start off with a compliment.
My hair looks great today.
- Mm. - Just kidding.
You're a lady of many talents.
Party planning, lasagna entrepreneurship,
mommy vlogging.
But I have just one question...
why'd you quit all of them?
[Laughs] Is that all you got?
First of all, I did not quit my vlog.
And the other things are none of your business, paste-eater.
[Chuckles] Can I be frank with you?
Fire away.
I can't help but wonder if you discouraging Anna-Kat
from trying out for the cheer squad
isn't about Anna-Kat at all,
but more about your own shortcomings.
Are you calling me a bad mom?
Because you're about to be a guest
on "Getting Killed by Katie."
No, no. I'm not saying it's because you're a bad mom.
It's because you had a bad mom.
Anna-Kat, now!
Mom? What are you doing here?
Anna-Kat and Franklin called me to come for your birthday.
My birthday isn't for five months.
I probably should have known that.
Yeah.
All right, l-let me get this straight.
It's my fault that Anna-Kat quit cheerleading?
Yes. You gave Katie a defeatist attitude,
which she's now passing on to her daughter.
- Where do you get this stuff? - From you.
It's all right here in your high-school diary.
You read my high-school diary?
Yes. The head of the research department
found it in the back of your bedroom closet.
[Whispers] I'm the head of the research department.
Hey, are you one of those kids
who can help me count cards in Vegas?
[Normal voice] "My mother is soooo unsupportive."
You want to be a what girl?
A Fly Girl.
Is that like Spanish fly?
No.
They're dancers on the show "In Living Color."
They're having open auditions. Check it.
♪
♪ Go! ♪
♪ Say party! ♪
♪ P-Party! ♪
♪ You got it, baby! ♪
♪ Unh! Come on! ♪
♪ Say party! ♪
Don't waste your energy, honey.
You're not gonna make it.
♪
You gave me permission to give up,
and now Anna-Kat is giving up because of me.
Don't talk to me like that.
I am here for your birthday.
And don't give me that whole "it's not my birthday" thing.
That is disrespectful.
I base my entire parenting style on not being like you,
and yet I can't escape it.
Why did I end up with your dysfunction
and not your metabolism?
Yes, yes, I discouraged you.
But it was nothing like what my stepmother did to me.
You know, I wanted to go to college, but she said,
"Well, that's useless if you're gonna start a family."
So I became a stewardess instead.
And you don't hear me whining about it.
Sure sounds like you're whining about it.
Here's my new favorite saying... shut up, Franklin.
Wait. So my step-great- grandmother discouraged you?
Yeah. Yeah, I-I guess she's the one
who started me on my own path of giving up on things.
College, my marriage.
I even gave up on giving up on drinking.
You know what you have to do?
Confront her. Break the family curse.
I haven't talked to that woman in 20 years.
You can do that?
Why haven't I done that with you?
We need to confront my stepmother.
Come on.
Go get 'em, ladies!
Oh, my next guest is here.
So, Luthor, let me be frank with you.
You only hurt yourself when you pee in your water bowl.
♪
This was so nice.
If I knew you were gonna pay for lunch,
I would've ordered something cheaper.
I wanted to thank you for bringing me my sweater.
Oh, please. I'd do it for any student.
Okay, I-I can't do this anymore.
Honestly, the sweater was just an excuse to see you.
I shouldn't have said that.
I'm gonna give you $20 for the salmon.
And I shouldn't say this,
but I asked you to lunch because I wanted to see you too.
[Stella laughs]
Oh, my God, Trip!
Taylor!
This is Andre, my TA.
We're here talking about school stuff.
And this is my coworker, Stella.
We're here talking about work stuff.
Oh, uh, Andre, this is my... Trip.
And, Stella, this is my... Taylor.
Nice to meet you.
All right, well, we're gonna go sit over here.
And we're already seated, so we're gonna stay right here.
Very cool.
Enjoy talking about work.
Enjoy talking about school.
Do you think Stella's pretty?
I'm just gonna give you $30 for the salmon and head out.
♪
I brought you something.
Did Gyftee pick me out a wall fish
that says "show me the money"?
Gyftee got it wrong,
but I'm pretty sure your boy got it right.
"King of la cocina."
I love it!
It's perfect!
I've been so focused on what I want,
I just assumed you wanted the same thing.
But if cooking's what makes you happy,
then that's what you should go to school for.
Thanks.
I actually have been looking at some culinary schools.
Yeah. We don't have to do everything together
to stay best friends.
I'll go to Harvard.
And I'll go to Cambridge Culinary School right next door.
Let's celebrate our new plan with some of Greg's Oranginas.
BOTH: Aah!
Those beverages are for me
and my new life coach/campaign manager.
- Lonnie? - He's gonna help me play dirty,
fight back, and win this election.
Your dad needed an expert in social media
and messing with people.
I'm both.
And a licensed notary if you need that too.
- Hmm. - Brrap brrap!
♪
Kathryn?
Hello, Margaret.
I was surprised when you reached out
- and wanted to catch up. - Oh.
Last time I saw you was at your father's funeral,
and you told me...
"too bad it's not yours."
Mm. Uh, you know my daughter Katie.
Ah, you were the one who liked to dance.
Dance into my lamps.
You still owe me $20.
Now I get the whole "not talking to her for 20 years" thing.
Margaret, when I was young,
I told you I wanted to go to college,
but you discouraged me.
And that bad advice had a major impact on my life.
I don't remember that conversation,
but I trust what you say is true.
And all I can say is...
get the [bleep] over it.
Mom, it's not like I've never heard that word before.
You're always cursing.
Our house is like a prestige HBO drama.
Get over it?
How can you say that?
It happened years ago!
Was it a mistake? Maybe.
But people say a lot of things, and at some point,
you have to take responsibility for yourself.
Huh. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.
It's not my fault that you don't see things through.
So, yeah, I told you you shouldn't become a Fly Girl.
Get the [bleep] over it!
- You're not wrong. - Hmm.
Honey, sometimes parents
discourage their children to protect them,
but if you want to do something,
don't let anyone get in your way.
So go out for cheerleading.
I'm gonna be there to root you on.
And I'm going back on my mommy vlog.
Okay, Margaret, um, I think we can sign off now.
Hang on. Let me give you my Venmo
so Katie can pay me back for that lamp she broke.
Sure thing. What is it?
Lowercase A with a circle around it.
Capital M, capital A...
♪
Oh, how'd it go?
I didn't make the squad.
But she is going to try again next year.
The important thing is she gave it a go.
Show me the routine.
Okay.
KATIE: Sometimes it takes a little frankness
to set someone in the right direction.
It's that kind of honesty that helps a family grow.
To live better and love more.
Ooh!
The cheer squad was crazy not to pick you.
But at the end of the day, lying is easier.
This paella is...
Que bueno? I know, bro.
Pass me more paella. Now!
We get it. You're assertive.
Do you think I should break up with Trip
and see where things go with Andre?
Honey, you never quit a job
until you're sure you've got another one.
Unless you're willing to hold down two jobs at once.
Grandma!
Oh, I know. You're not ready.
That was your best episode yet, Franklin.
Thanks.
- Here's to 100 more. - Oh.
And it doesn't matter what time slot you're in, Franklin.
Your fans will always follow.
Cheers!
- Hear, hear! - [All cheer]
To 100!