♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ la, la la la, la-la la la ♪
♪ da da da da ♪
♪ da da da da da daaa ♪
♪ heyyyyyyy ♪
Lamont! Lamont!
I arrived here in an escape van.
Lamont! I just wanted to ...
One moment, please.
Jamantha! Where is my ...
So sorry. I just wanted to personally thank you
- for doing the sh... - A thank-you is most appropriated.
We both know that my presence is going to lift
your dookie ratings out of the poopy gutter
and save it from televised obscurity.
- Wow! Okay. - Oh.
Did you receive my Lamont Brickwater-approved
questions and clips?
No offense, but who knows better than me
what questions Strongburg wants to ask I?
We did, but don't you think the people want to dive deeper
than, "does Furnacé really provide you with your goatees?"
Of course not! Once again, Carthwright,
you're underestimating the powers that pee.
Do you mean "the powers that be"?
Yeah. What I say?
Did I say "pee"? 'Cause I meant "be."
- Be. - O-kay. Well, I'll see you out there.
Yes, you will, and, once again,
you're welcome.
I'm pulling an audible on this interview.
We ditching the puff-piece questions
and the weak-ass clips.
I'm about to ruin this mother[bshh] so bad
that if he ain't in Strongburg prison after this,
then I ain't fit to be on TV!
"Jammin' with Jamantha" is brought to you by...
...Furnacé ...
clothes for assholes.
Is it hot in here?
Or is it... Furnacé?
And bathrooms.
For when you have to pee-pee.
Now onto our show.
Jamantha! Jamantha!
#
Hello, Strongburg!
Welcome to "Jammin' with Jamantha"!
Yo, Jamantha, where is my damn money?
I know you duckin' me, bitch!
You better pay her.
Love my audience. Y'all so funny.
Welcome to "Jammin' with Jaman... "
Welcome to "Jammin' with Jamantha."
Our guest today has been a trusted source
of honest, compelling, and weirdly popular
documentary films in Strongburg.
A supposed guiding light of "truth,"
but most likely a purveyor of bullshit.
She speaks of me! She speaks of Lamont Brickwater.
- Hey, Lamont! - We love you, Lamont!
- Lamont! Lamont! - We love you, Lamont!
As you should.
- These folks are phony as [bshh] - Lazor, hush.
Whoa-ho-ho, wow!
Um, welcome to the show, Lamont.
Jamantha, I love when people gather
- to talk about my greatness. - We love you, Lamont!
- That is what this is, right? - Of course.
This is about your work
and its massive influence on Strongburg.
Of course. Continue, please.
Now, would you say... ...for the worst?
Huh?
- Well, I wouldn't say that at all. - Interesting.
Let's take a look at your first feature film,
"The mental health of bees."
After centuries of isolation,
bees are starving for affection and companionship.
That's a bunch of bull[bshh] Lamont.
These bees will all die if we don't learn to hug them!
Ya ever think about that?
Strongburg, don't let the bees die!
Hug these bees! Hug them tight!
- We love you, Lamont. - I hate eating here!
So, you're very proud of that film?
As proud as a bouncing billionaire baby
breakdancing in a church full of snakes.
That film inspired a movement.
It did inspire the hug-a-bee campaign...
...which in turn resulted
in the hug-a-bee campaign massacre.
Now, wait a minute.
Aah! Aah! Bees!
Aah!
- Flee for my life! - I am tired of dying.
Owie!
These bees don't want hugs!
They don't want hugs at all!
That man told us that bees need hugs!
And they all believed him! Like [bshh] idiots!
We all learned and lived through it, and that's what matters.
Unh-unh, nope.
Ah! That's what matters, he says.
I do have other films,
ones that don't have attachments to massacres.
Yes, you do.
The Stronbo award-winning "Fishing with witches"!
- A bona fide classic. - Exactly!
A film that was inspired by my ...
- Roll that [bshh] clip. - Goddammit.
They say you catch fish with worms,
but at Strongburg creek, you catch them with sandwiches.
Bruh, stop throwing sandwiches into the creek.
You're offending Battle Ham.
- Whoa! - The bigger the sandwich...
the bigger the fish.
Ya ever think about that?
Ew!
"Fishing with witches" debuted at number one.
- It was a huge hit! - Gargantuan.
I mean, it changed the way everyone in Strongburg fished!
What you getting at, Jamantha?
I'm here at Strongburg creek,
investigating what is affecting the quality of our water.
Excuse me, King Yeti. May I have a word?
Sure, as long as I'm able to shout out my new
- clothing line after? - Okay.
What do you think is affecting Strongburg's water?
Probably all the sandwiches in the water, my dude.
Of course. Thank you, King Yeti.
Hol' ... hold up. What about my sh...
For three years, the drinking water tasted like corned beef.
I personally love corned beef.
See, right now? Our love for you is waning.
So, you're okay with destroying Strongburg's water system?
Um, no...
Stop lying to the people, Lamont.
But I, uh ... I...
- Could we take a commercial break? - Ay-yo!
Is it hot in here?
Or is it Furnacé?
Wow.
Let's talk about your final big-budget masterpiece.
We don't have to. I think the people get it.
I like driving things home, Lamont.
Let's show some behind-the-scenes
of that "Illustrious" film.
With this treaty,
we shall end the battle and restore the dope-ass balance
between the north and south.
Lazor Wulf, the line is "restore the delicate balance."
- Yeah. I'm not saying that word. - "Delicate"?
I've blown $375 on a film that was budgeted for $7.50!
- Say whatever you want! - Damn, Lamont.
I thought you cared about giving the world the facts?
Facts? Here's a fact.
Strongburg is full of asshats
who will believe anything they see as long
as it says "presented by: Lamont Brickwater."
Change the channel!
- Spinna a scammer! - [bshh] you, Lamont!
- Boo! - Boooo!
Still not saying "delicate"!
Hol' up, y'all! We not done just yet!
- Phew. Thank you for that. - Let's talk money.
Oh, so, you willing to talk money now?!
I already paid you, wench!
So, how do you fund these films?
Is it legal?
They don't call you "pocket watching Carthwright" for nothing.
- Also, define "legal." - Ha ha ha.
Answer the question, Lamont.
I give all praise to my wonderful accountant.
- You ain't gonna get an answer. - Whom I will not name.
- Boo! - Dumbass spinna!
No worries! Y'all know we already have him ...
- via video-chat! - Wait. What?
Thanks for giving us a moment of your time, Mr. Stallone.
Never a problem! I love the attention!
Plus, you promised me a free hat for doing this, right?
So, Lamont won't admit to any criminal activity,
but he's never had trouble funding these large-scale films.
- I was wond... - He has me cook the books
and laundry the monies.
And, boy, do I use a lot of detergent,
- if you know what I mean. - That's all we needed to know.
Thank you, Mr. Stupi... Stallone.
Uh, before I go, I want to give a shout-out to the gang!
Uh, Lazor, Canon, Blazor, Yeti!
Your boy is outchea! Yay-yah!
- Uh, what the [bshh] - We know him?
Uh, not too sure about that.
Wow. So, after years of absorbing your fake information,
Strongburg has recently been declared
the "most dum-dum place ever to exist."
What the...
At least we're number one in something?
Beating out Milwaukee and heaven!
Whaaat?!
Oh! Shit!
Hmm. That can't be good.
Duh.
We dumber than heaven?! [bshh] you, Lamont!
- Spinna a scammer! - Boo that man!
What do you have to say to the people of Strongburg?
I...
...have to pee-pee.
You are a goddamn fibber!
This suuuuuucks!
This sucks!
♪ Made some fake movies, doo doo dee ♪
♪ did a bunch of scams, and I got off free ♪
♪ made Jamantha look like a fool ♪
♪ wee wee wee ♪
♪ just gotta finish up this pee, then ... ♪
Woop woops! Open up!
Oh, shit. Just a second!
♪ Climbing out the window ♪
♪ running down the street ♪
♪ getting into this stolen van ♪
Don't get in that van! Lamont!
- I'm Jamantha Carthwright. - Lamont!
And this has been "Jammin with Jamantha."
Next week, our guest will be...
Lamont Brickwater?
He'll be here to talk about his new film,
"Lamont Brickwater presents:
Lamont Brickwater on 'Jammin' with Jamantha':
The rise and rise of Lamont Brickwater"?!
Change the channel!
Are you [bshh] kidding right now?
I gotta find the right hat!
I'm gonna be on "Jammin' with Jamantha" next week.
- No, you not, bruh. - What do you mean?!
You just got bumped for Lamont again.
But I just ordered a new Furnacé tracksuit for it.
I [bshh] hate Lamont Brickwater!
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~