I'm hank. I was your typical emergency room doctor...
Until i got fired.
You let a billionaire hospital trustee die To save some kid off the street.
- I made a judgment call. - You made a mistake.
This is my brother.
I'm evan r. Lawson,cpa.
He took me away from my troubles and to the hamptons,
And suddenly,i had a chance To become a whole new kind of doctor.
It turns out the wealthy and not-So-Wealthy out here Could use a guy who makes house calls,
So i got a second chance to do what i do best.
Come on.
I know you can run faster.
Come on! Just run slower.
That's not the point of exercise.
It's the point of brotherhood,man.
Your guilt trips don't work on me.
You slowed down,didn't you?
-Yeah,just to say you-- -Forget it.
Yeah. Okay,hold on a second.
Wait. Let's talk.
About what?
Strategic planning for hankmed.
What's the plan?
People get sick or hurt,I treat them,you bill them.
Yeah,this isn't the e.R.,though,Where people just come to you.
This is concierge medicine.
It requires guerilla marketing.
Oh,really?I skipped that class in med school.
Okay,let's start with the basics then.
The affluent are a very elusive demo.
Well,they won't be eluding us Because we won't be chasing them.
Of course not. That would be crass.
Hence my strategic plan.
Okay,your strategic plan. Let's hear it.
So i read in the new england journal of medicine
That one in ten women between the ages of 21 and 40
Ignores a medical condition Just to avoid going to the doctor.
You read the new england journal of medicine?
Yeah,who doesn't?
So today,we are gonna meet ten women.
They're gonna ask us what we do for a living.
We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it
that at least one of them Is gonna be interested in your services.
And the other nine?
They'll be interested in mine.
-You know what? -Okay,here we go.
I'm gonna illustrate it for you.
-See this guy with the dogs over there? -Yeah.
-Pretend those dogs are attractive women,okay? -Okay.
You start by zeroing in on just one of them.
Hey,hey--Whoa!
-Ow! -Chester,that's no!
Little bit late on the dog whispering,pal.
No biting.That's bad.
Hey,can i have a look? I'm a doctor.
-Let's get rid of that.
Does any of this hurt?
Not considering a dog just bit me.
Right.
Uh,here,get me something sharp And a towel.
Okay.I'm sorry--Sorry.
Let me see.
All right,pull this finger back towards your nose.
Extensors are fine. Okay.
Good capillary refill.
You know,it really doesn't even hurt that bad.
It's amazing what you can do With the words "medical emergency."
Let me see your hand,please.
Ah! Ah!
All right,come here.
Okay,there you go.
Wow,thanks,man.
Listen,how can i repay you for this?
No,no,no. Please,please.
Don't worry about it.
Look,puncture wounds can get infected badly.
You need to go to the hospital for a thorough cleaning.
Man,i got a lot of work to do today. I ca--
No,no,no. You need to go.
Okay,all right.
All right,i'll find some time to go.
- Good. - Thanks.
- Sure. -Come on,guys.
Uh,give these to your friends.
We also do cat scratches and bee stings too.
Oh.
That was amazing.
Well,that was exhausting.
You're never going jogging with me again.
Whoa! Bambi in the hamptons,that's kind of freaky.
Yeah,you're right. I am never going jogging with you again.
- Hey,boris. - Hank!
How are the accommodations?
-Excessive. - Perfect.
That's exactly how i feel.
Hi,i don't think we've actually properly been introduced.
I'm evan r. Lawson. I'm the cfo of hankmed.
I'm quite aware of you,mr. Lawson.
Cool. I just wanted to thank you for your hospitality.
Uh,but my brother,uh,he's not being too business savvy,If you know what i mean.
Doesn't really understand that nothing in life is free.
So i'd be happy to negotiate any terms that you may have directly,
Just you and me.
I understand your new practice out here is thriving already.
-How did you-- Never mind.
There are two kinds of people here In the hamptons,hank--
Those here to seek attention And those here trying to escape it.
I just want you to know That i strongly favor the latter.
Yeah. Believe me,I have no interest in becoming a celebrity.
-Tell me about them. - Who?
The boy with the damaged car.
The woman with the...flat tire.
Sorry.
Confidentiality.
I'm heading out for some relaxation time On my ocean boat,but i'll be back tomorrow.
We'll catch up then?
Make yourselves comfortable.
You're guests here,Not renters.
After all,the best things in life are free.
man crush.
You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.
See you later. Bye.
Wait,i'm not done talking.
- I know. That's why i'm going. -Can i shower?
Uh,only if being clean's more important than being employed.
Sorry,ev,no guerilla marketing.
Okay,okay.
What are you gonna do?
You gonna sit around all day waiting for you phone to--
Okay,for the record,i made that happen.
Uh,okay,okay.
Answer the phone exactly like this: "hankmed. Good morning.
And how can we make you feel better today?
- Hello. - Or that. Good enough.
- Uh,yeah,sure. I'll hold for the senator.
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Proudly Presents
Sync: YTET-ÅÝÅÝ·É -=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
RoyalPains Season 01 Episode 03
I hope i didn't pull you away from something important.
You know,i work for you now,hank,
And this is what's important.
Divya,look.
You're clearly qualified To work at any big physician group in manhattan.
What's the deal here,honestly?
Honestly,my parents insist That i summer with them in the hamptons.
So they don't support your career?
It's not what they see for me.
So i have to pursue it Very quietly.
They don't know about your career.
Sometimes you've got to take things into your own hands,hank.
Okay,okay.
So what did the senator say exactly?
He said it was urgent and refused to give me Any details by phone.
Maybe it's his heart again.
Well,a failed run at the white house Could take its toll on anyone.
Selling 100 billion multivitamins May not buy you the presidency,
But it will let you live like a king.
Lucy everett.
Hank lawson.
Your reputation precedes you.
Heh,along with my phone number.
My husband heard some very good things.
This is divya.
I'm his physician assistant.
Hmm.
So where is the senator?
In london. Follow me.
As you may know,my son,kendrick,
Just announced his commitment to notre dame.
He will be competing to be the starting quarterback
And they need him in perfect condition,
Because usc's defensive line Hits a lot harder than my daughter and nephews.
Look,as much as i admire the fact That you have your own football field,
Sports medicine isn't my area.
This isn't about sports medicine.
It's about a communications strategy.
That's definitely not my area.
His team physical is next week.
I would like to avoid any surprises.
At least any in public view.
All right,so he needs a routine checkup.
It's anything but routine.
Without a clean bill of health,he will not be cleared for play.
He needs an executive physical.
Yes,your top-Of-The-Line executive physical.
Check him from head to toe in painstaking detail.
Yeah,we're not equipped for that.
We'd need a cardiopulmonary stress-Testing machine,A 12-Lead e.C.G.--
Here we are.
Who's your interior designer,sanjay gupta?
This is brand-New hospital-Grade equipment.
Yes.
Anything worth going out for these days Is something you can just as easily bring in.
And i don't cut corners when it comes to my family.
Sometimes you got to take things Into your own hands,right?
He's a concierge doctor.
He'll check our vitals,then book us dinner and a show?
It means he will respect our privacy.
Did dr. Greenwald tap our phones?
Is this guy any good?
He's recommended by dad's friend.
- Who? - No one you know.
How do you know who i know?
Melody,i have to focus on your brother now.
We'll do this later. Is that okay?
I got to take care of this thing.
Catch you later,dude.
Here he is.
Wow,from the game room to exam room in just 12 hours.
Kendrick,say hello to dr. Lawson.
And divya,his assistant.
Physician assistant.
Thanks for doing this.
Hey,we'll have you back outside Tossing touchdown passes in no time.
Yeah,as long as no time is by noon.
Well,the exam takes as long as it takes.
Kendrick has his nutritionist at 12:00
And his private offensive coordinator at 1:30.
My mandarin tutor at 3:00 and my life coach at 5:00.
And i still don't even know what a life coach is.
The point is,the exam needs to be as long as planned.
In case you were wondering,
Bathroom breaks are on alternate wednesdays.
Barring any surprises in the lab work,You are all systems go.
I am sure you'll have a breakout season.
Whoo.All with 20 minutes to spare.
I'm gonna go squeeze in some passing drills before lunch.
-don't forget to stretch. -don't forget to stretch.
Your dream come true. Mom times two.
-play lke a champion today. -play lke a champion today.
And once the argentinean girls were done eating out of my hand,
Three cougars showed up,
and i lured them By talking up the water's medically proven Rejuvenation properties.
They completely ate it up.
It was some of my best work,actually.
A shame the cougars didn't eat you.
You're disgracing our profession.
I'll be back.
I'm going to go change.
Every time she hurts my feelings,It makes her hotter to me.
Is that weird?
- You're weird. - Okay.
So,yes,i am kicking ass and taking names out there,Like literally.
The names are finding us just fine.
-Thank you very much. - Thank you.
And p.S.,we have to leverage that momentum Before the well runs dry,okay?
So i got this girl at us weekly--
- Don't even think about it. - Just one blurb on tmz.
Come on,hankmed treating the senator's son?
That would be killer publicity for us.
Their privacy is our publicity.
Hello?
Hey,what's wrong?
Okay,i should see you right away,then.
Uh,meet me behind pinch on the pier.
Okay.
Who was that? Was that a kennedy?A rockefeller?
A jonas brother? - No,it's benny.
Who the hell is benny?
The guy who got bit when you tried to simulate flirtation On his pack of dogs.
Oh,my god,that--
Are we billing him this time?
I have a hunch he can't afford us.
Look,we treat who needs treatment.
If they can afford to pay,great.
If not,you'll figure out a way to make it all add up.
All right,as long as cujo's not there,i'm good.
You clean up nice.
I just got a call.
Uh,you want to squeeze in a quick one before we go?
Oh,yes.
He just took the words right out of my mouth.
You're not worth the dry cleaning,evan.
Let's go.
Hotter and hotter still.
You know,all dog walkers get bit at some point.
It just comes with the territory.
Please stop barking,beyonce!
Gauze and a clamp.
You said you'd go to the hospital.
The wait there is four hours if--Ah--
I'm lucky.
Four hours times four dogs Times ten bucks an hour is real money.
And i'm not gonna ask my mom to help me with rent again.
It's infected badly.
Ah! Ah.
Okay,look,we can start draining the abscess,
But the hospital needs to finish the treatment.
Why can't we just do it all here?
No,it needs to be debrided by a hand surgeon Who knows where the nerves,arteries,
And tendons are hiding.
Well,i lost my insurance last year.
Look,it's the e.R. Of a public hospital.
They have to treat you.
Well,i can't just tell them that.
You can,and i'll show you how.
Evan,keys.
What?What are you doing?
- Promoting you. Cfo and head dogsitter.
Come on,benny.
Those two live three blocks down on the left,94 cardinal drive.
And the other guys are at 17 spring street,
Right behind the movie theater.
Okay,just make sure you get everyone home safely.
-All right? - Hank,i can give you a ride.
I got this one,divya.
You look like you have somewhere to be.
I have a family obligation,but i can--
Go.Enjoy it...if you can.
Walk slow because kiki can't walk fast,all right?
Here we go.
Come on.
So,divya,we can ride with you,right?
sorry.
Furry animals and sterile medical equipment don't mix.
Hey,cute dogs.
I hate this place.
Just say exactly what we rehearsed.
You're gonna be fine.
Uh,i got bit by a dog.
It's swollen,and it hurts bad.
Fill these out and take a seat.
But it's an emergency.
Perfect.This is an emergency room.
He has an ascending infection of the hand,
Into the arm,presenting like a sclerosing tenosynovitis.
-What did you do? - He just told you.
-A dog bit him. - And you are?
Someone qualified to judge That he needs treatment immediately.
Give me the charge nurse right away.
Yeah,so i'll see you tomorrow,then?
Cool. Okay.
I'll see you later.
come on.
Come on,guys.
Wow,that box looks heavy.
Hey,don't i know you?
They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
I have been labeled a progressive.
I have to get to work.
- Cute dogs. - I know you.
Hey. No,i'm serious. I really know you.
Stephan,leave beyonce alone. Come here,come here.
Jackie,right?
-Jackie? Ja--Janice? - Sorry,bud,game over.
Jill.
How do you know my name?
Are you using drugs of any kind?
No,of course not.
You drink anything with a kick last night?
Would red bull... do this to me?
No.
Do me a favor,kendrick,and tell me your address.
sixty...seven...
Hey,doc.
Yeah.
My body is...tingling.
♪♪
All right,push down on my hand.
- What happened? - We don't know.
What do you mean we don't know?
Well,he was fine yesterday,
At least according to his executive physical.
Okay,labs and stress test all came back normal.
Dtrs are decreased bilaterally.
Hypotonia,more in the lower extremities.
Guillain-Barre?
Possibly,but he has no pain.
Squeeze my hands.
Squeeze. Hard!
Come on,kendrick.
I have to play...
F-F-Football.
All right,we should get him to the hospital for further testing.
No!
We need this handled quietly.
Look,there are a lot of variables right now
That we can't plan for in your home.
That's why hospitals exist.
I'd really feel more comfortable--
I'd feel less comfortable.
Five years ago,my husband walked into a hospital With chest pain.
Within 20 minutes,it was leaked to the media.
The next day he lost the iowa caucus,
Because the opposition was able to smear him As a man with a weak heart overnight.
Turns out it was just a bad case of indigestion.
Dr. Lawson,You were not just hired for kendrick's health.
You were also hired for his privacy
And to make sure that he plays football at notre dame
And then goes on to lead a successful life as planned.
I will not put my family In the hands of the system again.
To diagnose this properly,i'd need--
I'll get you whatever you need.
Or just say that you're giving up on him,
And i'll find someone else.
Hank,look.
The way i see it,we have two options:
We can keep fighting her,or we can start helping him.
All right,well,how are we gonna get a mobile mri?
Let me worry about that.
Oh,god.
Wha--Did you just big-Time me?
Anyway,i have two news alerts.
I ran into a friend of yours,and i did you a major solid.
Two,this car needs gas.
Circle back with me asap to discuss.
Hello,ms. Newberg.
Evan r. Lawson.
I'm the cfo of hankmed.
The...hank--Hank's brother.
Oh,hank!
-Please,come in. - Cool.
So how is hank doing?
Uh,he's doing very well.
And so are you.
Uh,you look fantastic,ma'am.
- Thank you,dear. - Yeah.
So,uh,so naturally beautiful.
And splendidly symmetrical.
Yes,i know.
How can i help you?
Oh,no,miss newberg,it's how i can help you.
May i offer you a vitamin-Infused gin rickey?
Yep.
Esperanza?
Perfect.
Oh,that'll be great.
All right,talk to you soon.Bye.
Okay,I tracked it down.It's there.
You just need to ask for it.
Good work,divya.
Melody.
I think maybeI did this to him.
Please don't tell my mom.
Tell me what you mean.
When I tackled himthis weekend during a game with our cousins,
his head hit the groundreally hard.
And he didn't get upfor a few seconds.
No,his symptomsaren't consistent with trauma.
You didn't do thisto him,melody.
Look,what you're feelingisn't guilt.
It's just love and concern.
No mom could ever blame youfor that.
Oh,you don't know my mom.
Kendrick's future is her life.
Notre dame's justthe first step,and then it's offto a top five law school,
the justice department,congress,and ultimately achieving what my father couldn'T.
If I did anythingto jeopardize all that,
she'd saythat I ruined his life.
She'd say I ruined her plan.
What's the catch?
There's no fine print here,ms.Newberg.
Well,it sounds likea very interesting proposal.
I thoughtyou'd feel that way.
Do you have any literature?
Funny you should ask.
Hot off the press.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Oh,thanks.
Well,I'll pass this onto my advisors.
And if they approve,then I'm in.
Hank would be so thrilled...
hank,our savior.
-God bless him. -Amen to that.
And you seemvery competent too.
You must meetmy little granddaughter.
Uh,thank you,ms.Newberg.You know,I-
she's spending the summerwith me.
I'm--I'm really notvery good with kids.
Emma,come here,sweetie.
It's just not-
This gentleman workswith the doctor who saved me last week.
Ah,your faux nichons.
She's been studying in paris.
Oh,that is too funny,because this very afternoon
I'm actually hosting a reception
to celebrate the european architectural influences at my home,shadow pond.
Isn't that so weird?You should come.
Shadow pond?That sounds likean assisted living facility.
Yeah,you know-yeah,you're probablynot interested in getting culture
during your break from school.
-Probably not? -She needs culture.
Nana,please,don't micromanage.
I promised your mom you would not spendthe entire summer
watching the mountains and gossiping about iton headbook.
It's the hills,and it's facebook.
Go to this nice man'sreception,bring your friends.
Or there's no salt scrubsat the maidstone for a week.
How many friends exactly?
Excuse me,I'm looking for--ah.
Oh,nice.
Yeah,mock disaster drill.
No crossing guard jokes,please.
No,I was just gonna askif you were missing a lifeboat.
Look,uh,I know we just met,but I need a favor,and it's a big one.
How big?
The size of a truck.
I'm sorry,but I can't say.
You can't say who.
No,I can't say anything.
Well,that doesn't give memuch to go on during our busiest weekendof the summer.
I know,I know.
Why don't you try the hospitalin riverhead?
They have an mri truckand one-tenth our caseload.
No,I-I can'T.Time really is a factor here.
So you want me to lendmy mri truck to someone
who doesn't feellike dealing with the traffic?
No,no--no.I wouldn't ask for itif that were the case.
You'rea concierge doctor,hank.
I have patients.You have clients.
And I can't move a mountainevery time a ceo sneezes.
It's not a ceo.
It's a teenage boy with acuteneurological deficits,
and we both knowthat can kill you,regardless of how bigyour trust fund is.
This boy needs help.
He needs it fast.
And I'm not asking youto move a mountain,just a truck.
Looks like we don't needthe mri for the next two hours.
I'm paging a tech right now.
Great.Great.Thank you,really.
You know,despite my freakishlycalm demeanor,
it wasn't easy for meto come here and ask youfor something like this.
That doesn't surprise mecoming from a guy who can't even ask me outhimself.
Anyway,I just found outthat I have to work tonight.
Uh,tonight?
You have to work ton-What are we talking about?
-That's when your brother saidthat you wanted- -my brother?
My brother,evan?Ev--evan,my brother.
How did you meet evan?
Uh,randomly in town.
He asked me out to dinner,you know,on your behalf.
He did,did he?
How helpful of him.
He's a good guy.
Not that he,um,totally misrepresented me.
I mean,it's possiblethat at some point,I would-
ms.Casey,we're readyfor the mock evacuation drill.
Got to go.
You better bring my truck backwashed and waxed.
Oh,washed,waxed,with the pine-tree thing hang-hang-
so,uh,where's everybody else?
Um,well,you've got me.
You've got allie and maxine.
And you've got about two dozenof the world's most exotic fish.
I mean,who else do you need?
You saidthis was a reception.
Yeah,everyone else apparentlyhad scheduling conflicts.
Yeah,or self-respect.
Hey,guys,maybe we should bail.
Maybe after a quick dip?
Couldn't hurt,right?
Nancy,I need you.
So do any of you girls read the new england journal of medicine?
Uh,no.
Oh,all right.
Allie,you are really beautiful.
Sorry,I just had to say it,you know?
You probably comefrom beautiful parents too,huh?
Are they alive and well?
-Uh,yeah. -That's good.
No hereditaryconditions or anything?
Just divorce.
Feels pretty magical,huh?
There are a few thingsit won't cure,like,uh,osteoarthritis.Right?
Or gingivitis or a severe gluten allergy.
Excuse me.
What are you talking about?
What am I talkingabout,emma?
I'm talking aboutrestless leg syndrome.
Does that strikeany chords,emma?
Restless leg syndrome?
-Sir. -Hey,dieter!What's up,man?
Hey,you know what?Why don't you jump in here?I could use a wingman.
No,thank you.
Would you grab my phonefor a second and just takesome pictures of us,
-because people tend notto believe things- -the marine spa has not beenserviced properly in some time.
You know what?Neither have I,man.
But this is officialhankmed business.
Dieter,old chum,is the pool bar fully stocked?
This place is pretty ridic.
Yeah,some might even say,"ludic.
" You know,I'm particularly impressed by the europeanarchitectural influences.
Yeah,would you like to discuss the historyof the turkish bath?
Or we could just dosome shots.
Yeah.
You know,I-I should reallyget you home half sober,
'cause I really needyour nana to like me.
Oh,yeah?Why is that?
'Cause she might bethe one in ten.
One in ten--it's a business term.Yeah,don't worry about it.
Just,uh,put in a good wordfor me,okay?
Well,I'm spending the summerstuck at my grandmother's house,
so why don't we start with those shots I requested?
Body shots.
-No,we're not doing- -girls!
-Body shots. -No,we're not doing
No,we're not doingbody shots.No,no,no.
Look,okay,for--just to be sociable.Let's do,like,six.Let's do,like,six.
You first.
And then you...
What is this?
Oh,my god!I have it too!
What the hell?
Mine is itching!Mine is burning!Mine is spreading!
What the hell?
What is taking so long?
Telemedicine movesat its own pace.
What did the radiologist say?
Mri's totally normal.
Okay,let's do this.
Spinal needle.
It's clear.
No gross blood,no xanthochromia.
All right,get a cell counton tubes 1 and 4.
C and s on 3,protein on 2.
Cryptococcus antigenon number four.
I'll update his mother.
It's for the best,do you understand that?
It's done with.
Okay,uh,let me bring youup to speed on what we've ruled out so far.
It's not guillain-barre,myasthenia gravis,botulism,or a structural lesion.
We may have to repeatthe spinal tap-
she's airlifting himto cornell.
-What? -They have the top specialists.
I've arrangeda john doe admission,completely off the grid.
No,no,no.He's no longer in any conditionfor transfer.
They'll figure outwhat's happening to him.
They'll runthe same tests I did.
Look,it'll waste timehe doesn't have.He's deteriorating.
And who let that happen?
You did,mom!You should've taken himto the hospital before.
The doctor and iwill handle this.Is that okay?
Ma'am,look.I know this is hard.
You have dreamsyou want to protect.You expect--
people said I had the good planof marrying into a fortune.
Truth is,my husbandhad the good fortune of marryinginto a plan,my plan.
I took edfrom obscure entrepreneur to federal reserve directorto united states senator.
And that's as faras the race took him.
Kendrick is going to havethe whole package without any missteps.
I have a plan for that boy,not as a dreamer,but as a mother.
I know you love your son.
But you need to stop fixatingon his destiny and start worryingabout his life,
because he can't be presidentif he's dead.
Hank!
He's in respiratory arrest.
All right,I'm ready.
Tube,please.
It's in.
Okay,go ahead.
Okay,bag him.
Okay,his breathing is stable.
Monitor him carefully for any signsof cerebral edema.
-Come talk to me. -If he goes...
hypertensive and bradycardic,we hit him with a mannitoland then the lasix,
and we hyperventilate him.
Exactly.
Just give himmore time,mom.
No,instead of getting better,he's just getting worse.
Mrs.Everett,the chopper is here.
Tell it to go away,nancy.The doctor saidit's already too late.
Excuse me.
I am in charge.Is that okay?
No,it's not okay.
Kendrickdoesn't want your help,and he doesn't want your plan.
He doesn't even wantto be president.
He just wants to play football,but he didn't wantto disappoint you,
so he went along with it.
Now,just letthe doctor do his job.
Did kendrickreally tell you that?
He tried to tellyou too,mom.
You would know that if youstopped for a sec to listen,
but you're always too busydoing the talking,whispering in his ear,putting all your stuffin there.
You're never going joggingwith me again.
Melody.
When you tackled kendrickthis weekend,his head hit the grass.
-Yeah,why? -Kendrick hit his head?
Why didn't you tell me?
You saidthat I didn't do this.
I think all you've doneto your brother,melody,is save him.
Alligator forcepsand mineral oil.
What are you doing?
I'm neutralizingthe parasite.
Forceps.
What parasite in the hamptonscould cause all this?
A very,very small one.
Deer tick.
Once this little guy managedto crawl right into his ear,it fed on his bloodto make eggs.
It's salivary glandsecreted a neurotoxin which caused a rapidlyascending paralysis.
Oh,my god.
Is he gonna be okay?
Well,with the tick removed,the poison will dissipatejust as rapidly.
He's gonna be fine.
Bro,serious troubleback at the bat cave.
I need you and divya and all your little gadgetsand ointments back here stat.
There he is.
Welcome back,buddy.You're gonna be fine.
Rest.
I am gladthat we brought you both to keep this private.
Thank you.
I'm glad to have you back.
-Sure. -Yeah,right.
Melody has never stood upto me like that before.
Well,she was protectingher brother.
She was asserting herself...
showing signs of leadership.
Thank you.
Why do I have 11 voice mails?
I think I know why.
What is it,evan?
He's been busy,very busy.
Okay,relax.Just tell me the problem.
He sent me 23 pictures too.
Wait,stop.
You were in a jacuzzi.
Hot tub folliculitis.
The filtration systemis broken.
Just soak some hot towelsin household vinegar.
Apply the compressfor 20 minutes two to four times a day.
You'll all be fineby next week,although you'll still bean idiot.
You'd makea great older brother.
Quite a thingwe just pulled off.
Well,who needs hospitalsafter all?
So I guess we need to figure outyour compensation,stuff like that.
-Whatever you think is fair. -And your title.
Well,what's wrongwith physician assistant?
Yeah,people seem to only hearthe second half of it.
I was thinking...
associate.
Did you not get my calls?
I turned my phone off.
You did what?Never do that.
I heard aboutyour hot tub mishap.Nice.
"Mishap"?
It was a disaster,henry!
I spent all day tryingto convince these girls I wasn't a douche bag,
and they left smellinglike vinegar and water.
What was goingthrough your head?
Nothingbut our strategic plan.
Your strategic plan.
No,our pla--the plan-to turn ten womeninto one patient.
But then only three showed up,and I-
you turned them allinto patients.
I di-it made much more senseon paper,okay?
Look,if we're gonna dothis together,you need to take it seriously
and really pitch in,like a grown-up.
What's this?
It's just me pitching in.
You are looking at our veryfirst summer retainer.
-Who retained us? -One ms."New parts" newberg,
who now has 24-7 access to youby phone or by house call
and guaranteedsame-day appointments,including all lab workand specialty referrals.
24-7?That woman will drive me crazy.
And that's whatit's gonna cost her...
per month.
You're gonna be fine,benny.
I told him notto take this job.
Tu nunca me escucha.
Please,ma,not now.
You were supposed to be a vet,not a dog walker.
This is like being a busboyinstead of a chef.
How is that the same?
You're right.Busboys get tips.
Mami,please,you're making my hand hurt.
Hank,you got a cure for this?
Look,you're in great shape,benny,all right?
If you haveany problems,just-you just call me.
Thank you,doctor.
Jill.
I was just visitinga friend.
I heard all about it.
Want to grab a bite?
-Oh,I thought- -I have a few minutes,and I know a great placeright near here.
Best I could doon such short notice.
Hey,I love carousel cuisine.
I got my eyeon a 2007 chocolate milk that I've heardvery good things about.
So I-I guess we have evanto thank for this.
So you and your brotherseem pretty different.
On a good day,very different.
I don't know.I guess evenin your own family,
it's rare to find a personyou really connect with.
Then you meet someoneat a party.
But you wonder if they seethe world in the same way.
You do?
Yeah,I do.I mean...
who are you,hank?
Are you the guy whois lining up $2 million magnets for people
who can affordto buy their own,or are you the guy who's making surethat the local dog
walker doesn't lose his hand becausehe can't afford to save it?
Well,why do I have to chooseone over the other?
I mean,they both need my help.
But concierge doctorshelp rich people.
Isn't that the idea?
Well,I may havea slightly different idea.
I really hope yournew business succeeds,hank,but...
It has to succeedwithout my favors.
My job is to help peoplewho come to the hospital,not people who won'T.
Yeah,I'm sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable position.
In a way,I'm glad you did.
Yeah,why's that?
I think it's cutethat we had our first fight before our first date.
Yeah,me too.
Mmm,this pizzais oddly refreshing.
That's becauseit's a lemon strudel.
Oh,yeah,that makes sense.
Ms.Casey,they need you in oncology.
I'm sorry.
I've gotta go put out a fire.
Uh,can I walk youto your fire?
Have a good night,hank.
How were the high seas?
So quiet,no disturbances at all.
So,how arethe everetts doing?
Lucy still have everythingon,uh,track over there?
I'm glad you enjoyedyour outing.
I'm sure mrs.Everettwill appreciate your respectfor confidentiality.
-Hey,boris. -Yes?
Thanks for the referral.
Don't mention it.
I've got plans for you,hank.
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