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Upset someone, have we?
Scratching the word ''bastard'' was a bit of a giveaway,
seeing as it's your pet name for me.
Don't kid yourself. There are plenty of people who think you're a bastard,
not just me.
As from tomorrow, I'm suspended.
You're finished.
Better start praying to the patron saint of poofs.
Poison wicks for a poison screw.
Hold on.
Fine.
I am not standing for this!
That shithead Fenner is gonna regret this!
Sharp enough to stick into the flesh.
Wicked.
You're not clever enough to get one over on me. I'm gonna see you out.
That's a promise.
Fenner's had a little visit from a hitman before.
Present from Yvonne Atkins.
SAUNDERS: Bastard screw murdered her.
He locked her in that tunnel and he left her there to die.
By God, he's bloody well gonna pay for it.
Thank God.
I tell you, Hooky, this is gonna be fun.
HOOK: What, a wing governor murdered in his own prison?
Won't be any shortage of suspects.
It could be the perfect crime, couldn't it? I mean, if you're banged up for life anyway.
-Well, you could kiss any parole goodbye. -Would you want it, though?
I mean, kill the wing governor in here, you see your days out like a queen.
The rest of the cons will see to that.
So not much chance of anyone grassing anybody up, then?
Not much.
Well, someone really had it in for you, didn't they, Mr Fenner?
So, how long are you keeping us cooped up in here, then?
Till the inspector says.
Mr Fenner's been murdered, Natalie.
You've got to understand the police have to do their job.
Fine. But we all wanna get out of here so we can celebrate. Don't we, girls?
-Yeah! -Right.
-I know you don't mean that. -You didn't know Fenner.
He'd have got round to you at some point, miss, collar or no collar.
If you ask me, you ought to throw up a prayer of thanks for whoever did him in.
Not that there's anyone up there listening.
I can't believe it. I really did it. The bastard's dead.
-Calm down. Someone'll hear you. -I don't care.
Fenner's dead and I killed him.
You don't know. He might have died of natural causes or something.
What you talking about? You know I killed him.
And I did it for 'vonne and little Rachel and Shell,
and every other woman in here whose life he's turned to shit.
Inspector Hayes.
-Mr Grayling, this is DS Hook. -Sergeant.
I hope you know that my staff and I will do
all we can to help you apprehend Wing Governor Fenner's killer.
We'll need all the prisoners' cells searched
while we still have the women confined in the chapel.
-I'll get onto it right away. -No, no. My people will do it.
But my staff are trained.
Your staff, Mr Grayling, are under as much suspicion as the prisoners.
You can't mean...
And if they are required to do anything, they will be supervised by my officers.
In the meantime, each of them will be searched and questioned.
Of course.
-How much longer? -Till they find the murderer, I suppose.
-Do you reckon they'll let me go to the loo? -I don't think so.
-You could flush the evidence. -I'm getting desperate.
Here, do you think it's a sin to have a wee in church?
It's sod-all compared to what some of us have done.
You're gonna go down in history for this.
-What you chatting about? -The girl that killed Fenner.
It was you that poisoned the thorn.
No, it was you that fired the blowpipe.
You tell them, say me killed him, I tell them it was your idea.
If me get lock up for life, you're coming, too.
We'll need a list of names, Mr Grayling,
every woman on the wing and all staff on duty.
How long had Mr Fenner been in the job?
Only a couple of months.
Before that, Jim was Principal Officer.
He was a very experienced officer.
These are the women on G-Wing.
And today's duty roster.
In your opinion, was he a good officer?
I'm sorry?
Well, you said he was an experienced officer, but was he good at his job?
Hold up. Who's this Di Fenner?
Jim's wife.
His estranged wife.
How are you, Di?
Fine. I'm fine.
No, you're not. You're in shock.
Hope you put plenty of sugar in that.
Poor girl.
You're joking, aren't you?
-He was still her husband. -Yeah.
Look how better off she is now.
-We all are. -You reckon?
Well, we all know how pissed off you were about Jim not giving you that Principal Officer's job.
I hope you've got a good alibi.
SYLVIA: I know exactly what you're going through, Di.
Malcolm wasn't exactly the best husband in the world,
but I never wanted to see him shot in front of me.
I can't get his eyes out of my head.
He was staring at me, Sylv.
I mean,
I know he was dead, 'cause there was blood everywhere,
but I could have sworn he was watching me.
-Damning me. -Oh, don't talk so silly.
Especially when the police interview you.
What do you mean?
Well, I'm only saying this as a friend, Di,
but you have to be their number one suspect.
What?
Well, I mean, after all the trouble there's been between you two.
And you were the one who found him.
And that's what you're gonna tell them, is it?
No, of course not.
Well, why don't I tell them how much you hated Jim's guts?
I did not. Jim was one of my oldest friends.
Even though he knew all about Malcolm marrying you for your money
and he never lifted a finger?
Are you saying...
Don't be ridiculous. How dare you?
Well, somebody murdered Jim.
And just 'cause I found him, it doesn't mean it was me.
I want you all to line up.
Here, I've got to go to the loo summat desperate,
or there's gonna be a christening in here.
What's going on, Mr Spiers?
You're gonna get out,
but each one of you is gonna get strip-searched first.
-Well, what are you searching us for? -A sharp weapon.
It don't make no sense, Ju. It was my candles what killed Fenner.
-Now, come on, line up. -Best just do as he says, eh?
Where are you going, Kerrigan?
Come on. You're first.
I don't wanna put you through the wringer, Mrs Fenner.
Must be hell for you, finding your husband like that.
No, I'm sorry, estranged husband. That was insensitive of me.
It's all right.
How long had you been married?
Three months.
Hardly enough time to get a decent CD collection together.
What's how long we were married got to do with it?
I don't know...yet.
Why don't you tell us how you found the body, Mrs Fenner?
Well, the girls were having a memorial service in the chapel
for a prisoner, Yvonne Atkins.
She died a year ago in the old execution block
where I found Jim.
Why wasn't he with the rest of you in the chapel?
The girls had put a shrine there for Yvonne.
Jim was supervising the visits.
Sensitive man, was he, Mr Fenner?
Complex.
I think that's how you'd put it.
Anyway, we were halfway through the service and I noticed Jim wasn't there.
So I went to look for him.
He wasn't in his office, so I went down to the hanging cell to find him.
Jim?
When I got there, he was lying on the floor.
I thought he'd passed out at first, but when I checked, it was obvious he wasn't breathing.
HOOK: What about the blood?
There was a lot of blood.
Didn't you see it before you tried to rouse your husband?
There were only a few candles down there. It was too dark.
And what happened next?
I ran straight to the chapel and told them Jim was dead.
I didn't know what else to do.
I couldn't believe it. I panicked. I was confused.
I couldn't think straight.
I shut down, became numb, everything was a blur.
I was fighting to make some kind of sense out of what had happened and who could have done it.
By the time I reached the chapel, all I knew was my husband was dead
and someone in that room had killed him.
Someone in that room had murdered Jim.
Must have been a terrible shock, finding Jim like that.
Course it was.
Well, no disrespect, Mrs Fenner, but I've seen a lot of grieving widows in my time
and they've all been a lot more upset than you.
We were getting a divorce.
-That should tell you something. -Oh, it does.
It doesn't mean I killed him.
I'm a prison officer!
I keep the killers under lock and key. It's them you should be talking to, not me.
We'll be talking to everyone, Mrs Fenner. Don't worry.
Meantime, tell us what went wrong with you and Jim.
He was having an affair.
She'd been hounding him for ages.
She tried every trick in the book to get her hooks into him.
You know what men are like. They'll go whichever way their trousers point.
All the same, after three months of marriage, it must have hurt.
Of course it hurt.
Enough to stab him in the throat?
I didn't kill him!
Then who did?
Well, maybe you should ask her, his bit on the side.
It's not enough that he had to go screwing some tart behind me back,
he had to go and shag a con.
A prisoner?
Buxton. Natalie Buxton.
Coming on to Fenner?
You must be joking. That bastard.
Look, I spent most of my time trying to stay out of his way.
It was bad enough when he was Principal Officer,
and then some tosser went and made him Wing Governor.
He could do whatever he wanted then, couldn't he?
So you're suggesting that Fenner was, what, taking advantage of his position?
Taking advantage of me, more like.
You mean sexually?
Do I have to spell it out for you two?
Mrs Fenner says that you wrote her a letter telling her about your affair.
Somebody else wrote that out of spite.
Look, if I was having an affair with Fenner, why the hell would I tell his wife?
To taunt her, perhaps?
No, I'll tell you what happened.
She cottoned on to the fact that her husband fancied me more than he did her.
And she didn't like it one bit. Do you know she attacked me?
Came at me like a bloody Doberman.
You can ask anyone.
It got her suspended.
And then Mr Fenner made her apologise to me in front of all the girls.
She might have married the bastard,
but she would have carved him up with a smile on her face.
Okay, Natalie. Thanks.
Anytime, Inspector.
Well, she's certainly got it in for Di Fenner.
But if he was hassling her like she says,
Buxton's got as much motive as the wife for killing him.
Told you this was gonna be fun.
Step back.
I don't care what lies you've told the police. You won't get away with this, Buxton.
I'm not the one lying to the police, Mrs Fenner.
And if you think you can send me down for something that you did,
you're even more of a loser than you look.
The one upside of the police crawling all over the place
is that Area have taken back my suspension, at least for the moment.
They need me to look after things.
Well, good for you.
How'd it go with Hayes?
Why the hell pick on me?
There's plenty of others in this place better qualified for murder.
All the same, you may have had your reasons.
And I'm not the only one, am I, Neil?
Jim's dead and you've already got your job back.
Subject is a well-nourished male of approximately 45 years.
Severe scarring to the abdomen.
It's an irregular scar, possibly caused by a broken bottle.
There's also some bruising. Looks like he's been in a fight recently.
Obvious trauma to the throat,
clearly a puncture wound caused by a sharp instrument of some kind.
Any thoughts on the weapon?
Not at the moment, but it doesn't look like a knife.
The wound's rounded.
What about a sharpened cane, say a garden cane?
Perhaps. Whatever it was, whoever was on the other end of it,
they weren't messing about. There's a lot of force behind the blow.
Probably pierced the carotid artery, hence the amount of blood.
Yeah, it was for Fenner.
For self-defence.
Are you telling me Mr Fenner threatened you?
I'm telling you he was a vicious, evil bastard
that treated this place like a frigging doll's house.
He played nice enough with some of the women if they gave him what he wanted,
but he'd end up ripping the heads off all of them in the end.
And I'm guessing you didn't give him what he wanted?
Too bloody right.
And he didn't like that, so you ended up stabbing him in the throat with this.
I wish.
-There's blood on it, Kerrigan. -Mine.
I cut myself while I was sharpening it, see?
Can I go now? There's a party on the wing. Christmas came early this year.
Yeah. That's right, Kerrigan. You play it as smart as you like.
But the way I see it, the more up-front you are, the more I reckon you're probably hiding.
Like I give a shit what you think.
I'm in here for life anyway. What are you gonna do?
Oh, I think you might find that life for murdering your boyfriend
is a whole lot easier stretch than being banged up for killing a screw.
What do you think?
Here, I'll tell you what, Kerrigan. You go and party with the other cons,
but I wouldn't celebrate getting off the hook just yet.
'Cause if the tests show this is Fenner's blood,
the next thing on the end of a stick will be your smart arse.
Get out.
Oh, that's quite interesting.
Are you going to let me in on it?
He's lost a great deal of blood, but he's been dead now for three to four hours,
so I would have expected the blood around the wound
to have congealed by now, but it's still quite tacky.
-Meaning what? -Well, I'm not sure at the moment.
But the toxicology report might prove to be a bit of a page-turner.
Okay, let's turn him over.
Turn of the screw, as it were.
Now, what is this?
Looks like a thorn.
-How did he get a thorn in his neck? -Intriguing, isn't it?
I'd say your wing governor's got more of a story to tell than you thought.
Okay, let's take a look at the inside story, shall we?
Fill your flasks and get back to your cells!
Look at them. Like a pack of hyenas.
Face it, Sylvia.
No one's gonna be throwing themselves on Fenner's coffin,
not even his wife.
Unless it's to hammer a stake through his heart.
What's going on?
Tell me.
The cops found that stick on me.
Shit.
You killed him?
No. Looks like I was too far back in the queue.
If I killed him, do you think the cops would have let me go?
It's not like you can do a runner, is it?
I didn't kill him.
Don't you believe me?
Fine, think what you want.
I hope you've been on the phone to cancel your order...
assuming they had nothing to do with this.
Don't worry, Mr Spiers.
We're not guilty of anything except our evil thoughts.
I don't get it, Ju. All that planning, making them candles,
talking Fenner into laying the wreath, I had it all worked out.
Then someone else goes and stabs the bastard.
Well, you always knew you weren't the only one who hated his guts.
Yeah, but it's like I'd dedicated meself to it, Ju.
It's just another thing in my life I've gone and messed up.
-What are you talking about? -God, me marriage was a disaster.
Anything David's ever done good, he's done when I was locked up in here.
The only thing I've ever been any good at was tomming and nicking.
And let's face it, if I'd been any cop at that, I wouldn't have ended up here in the first place.
But giving that bastard Fenner what he was due,
I thought finally,
finally I'd be doing summat worthwhile.
Oh, Ju, Ju.
You done loads what's important.
Yeah, you kept me sane in here, for a start.
And you are too good a person to have got your hands filthy on Fenner,
no matter how much he deserved it.
-He's dead. That's all that matters. -Yeah.
But who done it?
Did you kill Fenner?
Jesus, not you and all.
What the hell were you thinking of, Pat? Don't you ever want to get out of here?
I didn't murder anyone, but I might start a killing spree if you don't shut up.
You can trust me, Pat. I'm your friend.
I'll give you an alibi.
What?
Here, who do you reckon done Fenner in?
I don't know. How should I know?
All right. We know you didn't do it.
-Don't we, Darlene? -How you know?
Come off it, Darlene. We know, because we know who did it, don't we?
You do?
Who?
-I did. -You?
Well, me and Darlene, yeah.
Me not know what she chatting about, you know.
I didn't kill nobody. Crazy bitch.
Don't listen to her.
If you killed Fenner, how'd you do it?
It's all in here, Tine, in me and Darlene's bestseller.
And you helped us.
I never.
You wanna bet?
Course there's bleeding rats, they're all over the bloody place.
So you have rat poison, then?
-I don't know. -Oh, go on, Tine.
It's an experiment for the novel.
We'll dedicate the book to you, how about that?
Really?
We made a solution from the rat poison you gave us,
and dipped a thorn in it from out in the garden.
Darlene got a drinking straw to use as a blowpipe.
And then in the hanging cell, we caught the bastard,
right in the back of the neck.
TINA: Oh, my God.
That means you're like heroes, then, ain't you?
You killed Fenner.
Only, you won't say nothing about where you got the rat poison from, will you?
This is bollocks. Why didn't they find anything on you?
-I dropped the straw. -It's like I said, girls.
It's all in here. The bloke dies from a drugged dart.
It was your idea, actually, Darlene. Gotta hand it to you. Worked a treat.
-Mr Grayling, please. Sit down. -Thank you.
This is just routine, you understand?
I'm told these are bad for your health.
And Jim Fenner wasn't exactly good for your career, either, was he?
It's no secret that Jim Fenner and I had issues.
But we were both professionals.
We put the tribunal behind us to get on with the job.
Is that how you came by the bruises? Getting on with the job?
You see, Mr Fenner's body also has some bruises.
-Any connection? -He wasn't an easy man to work with.
And given your past, couldn't help gloating
when he'd heard you'd been suspended from your job.
I keep my ear close to the ground.
Fenner was a bloody cancer in this place.
He poisoned and corrupted everyone and everything that came into contact with him
and finally he was destroying me.
That sounds like a motive for murder.
Sarge, you'd better have a look at this.
Prison security procedure is to review CCTV footage every few days.
They thought we might be interested in this.
HOOK: Isn't that Di Fenner?
Jim was a very great friend, Inspector Hayes.
I had known him longer than anyone else here.
It's really such a shock, him dying like this. I can't tell you.
And so soon after my husband met a violent end.
It's really almost too much to bear.
Your husband?
He was gunned down by mafia types in Spain.
-It was our honeymoon. -I'm very sorry to hear that, Mrs Nicholson.
No, Hollamby.
The memory of my marriage, what happened, it's almost too painful, I'm afraid.
I see.
Well, I suppose you want to ask me some questions about Kerrigan.
-No. -But you found the murder weapon on her.
We found a weapon on her. It's gone for tests.
Well, I'm sure your tests will tell you everything you need to know.
She's been a dirty bomb on a short fuse since she set foot in the place, that one.
Wasn't here five minutes before she was holding a knife
to a flaming nun's throat.
Oh, and she hated Jim Fenner's guts.
Apparently, Mr Fenner was having an inappropriate relationship
with one of the prisoners, did you know about that?
I knew Natalie Buxton had been spreading malicious gossip.
You learn to ignore such rubbish.
But Di Fenner didn't ignore it, though, didn't she?
In fact, that's why she was divorcing him.
You see, it seems to me Mrs Fenner's got reason to be a very bitter woman.
I...
I wouldn't know.
Oh? You seemed pretty sure of yourself a moment ago.
It's got nothing to do with me.
Did Mrs Fenner ever talk about killing him, Sylvia?
No, of course she didn't. Don't be ridiculous. Di is not violent.
But her own husband suspended her for hitting Natalie Buxton.
And Mr Grayling says she once sent him threatening messages.
-She was provoked. -By Mr Grayling?
Look, this is all nonsense. Di couldn't possibly have killed Jim.
She was with me all the time.
So you were with her when she found the body, then?
-No. -So don't lie to me, Mrs Hollamby,
or I might start thinking you're trying to cover for her.
Or maybe you've got a taste for prison grub?
I'm switching the tape on now. This is Detective Sergeant Caroline Hook
commencing an interview with Mrs Diane Fenner at 1 1 :2 3 p.m.
Also present is Detective Inspector Alan Hayes.
It's... I was angry.
I admit it.
He'd made such a bloody fool of me going off with that tart, Buxton.
''Die bastard''? It looks as if you were more than just angry.
-I didn't kill him. -You wanted him dead.
-We've just seen it. -I don't understand this.
You've got Kerrigan. You've got the weapon.
We haven't seen the lab report yet, Mrs Fenner.
Perhaps Kerrigan's telling us the truth and it's her blood on the stake.
And there's no denying what the security cameras picked up, is there?
I did everything for that man.
You have no idea what I did for him.
I covered up his dirty little secrets.
And he told me that he would give me what I most wanted in the world,
a family to love.
-And he even lied about that. -Yeah. I know.
I mean, having a vasectomy when you're trying for kids
makes you think his heart wasn't really in it, doesn't it?
-It showed up on the autopsy. -Yeah, well, you bet I wanted him dead!
-So you stabbed him and you watched him die! -No!
We'll see. I'm holding you for questioning.
Interview terminated at 1 1 :25 p.m.
DS Hook, see if you can find Mrs Prison Officer Fenner a cell.
One of the cons gave me this.
I didn't want to waste your time, so I gave it a quick read.
You ought to take a look.
Yes.
Thank you.
-Excuse me. -Hello, Neil.
I'm Joy Masterton. I'm taking over Larkhall.
Morning, Hooky. I reckon we can wrap this up
and be back at the nick in time for curry and chips.
Do you think we can get a confession out of Di Fenner?
A tenner says that she will sing like a choirgirl on the vicar's organ.
Well, until we get a murder weapon, I think you should take a look at this.
Looks like you two are in the clear, now Mrs Fenner's banged up behind bars.
Well, she took the blame but we know we're the real heroes.
Right on, girlfriend.
SAUNDERS: What's the matter, you're not hungry?
-Barker never murdered Fenner. -You don't know that.
Poor cow married the bastard. And let's face it, she's got as good a reason as anybody
to pull the chain on the bleeding shit. I just wish I'd got there first.
-Ju... -Hold up, what's going on?
Don't worry. Like I said, I'll say that you were with me.
Nebeski, Cake, the police want to talk to you.
What, us? What for? We ain't done nothing.
On your feet.
You don't waste much time, do you?
Too much time being wasted at Larkhall already.
That's why I'm here, and you've been busted back to G-Wing Governor.
-G-Wing? -Weren't my idea.
I'd have chucked you out of the Service.
Well, thanks for letting me know where I stand.
Only place for sugar coating is a cake-shop window.
As far as I'm concerned, your weak-kneed, liberal governing strategies
have turned this prison into a bloody disgrace!
Haemorrhaging escapees, turning officer against officer, and finally ending in murder!
Now, just a second. I know all about you, too, and this is not the Military Police.
We do not have to do everything according to some parade ground order!
What the prison service wants is alternative thinking.
New, humane methods. My strategic plan was valid.
But I was undermined from the day that I set foot in this place!
Well, I won't be undermined by anyone.
Looks like Grayling's got himself a new girlfriend.
She looks like the Terminator in drag.
On your feet!
On your feet now!
My brekkie's getting cold.
What's your name?
Kerrigan.
Well, mine's Masterton. And I'm the new top bird in this cage.
So there's going to be a few changes from now on,
and the first one is when an officer tells you to do something, you jump to it!
-Bloody hell. Just when we got rid of Fenner. -Yeah, I know.
On your feet, Kerrigan!
I don't know what you've been used to here at Larkhall,
but from what I've heard and what I've seen, it's a shambles!
This is no holiday camp! You're here to pay penance for the crimes you've committed
and prepare yourself for an honest way of life when you leave!
And you will do these things to my satisfaction. Do you understand?
Yes.
To that end, privileges will be earned.
Until then, you're all on basic.
(ALL PROTESTING)
Piss off.
She can't do that.
Keep it shut or you can kiss your trip tomorrow goodbye.
This is shite. We're not having this.
You going to give me trouble, Kerrigan?
'Cause I warn you, I love dealing with troublemakers.
Seems to me you're the one causing the trouble.
Mr Grayling?
Yes, ma'am.
I want this one roused at five every morning until I say otherwise.
-Like you can sleep in these beds. -Only cold showers.
Your friend's getting the message. Don't be a slow learner, Kerrigan.
Right! I want you all back in your cells, I want them clean, I want them tidy,
I want them spotless from floor to ceiling.
There will be an inspection at 1 1 00 hour!
(ALL MUTTERING)
For God's sake, haven't you caused enough trouble?
Can't you just shut up and keep your head down?
If anyone ought to bloody shut up, it's you. Come on, Arun.
'''How we gonna do him? He big man,' said Honey Pie,
''as she run one long Raspberry nipple...
''...Ripple nail over Clooney's bushy chest,
''still sweaty from their sex.''
'''We drug him good,' growled Clooney,
'''with his eyes fix on Honey Pie's sweet, suckable lips.
'''Then he can't fight back.
'''Only question is how.'''
''Honey Pie's eyes lit up. 'A blowpipe,' she said.
'''I can stick the bastard with a poisoned dart,
'''then you slit his throat.'''
Well?
It's just a story, sir. Me and Darlene made it up.
Out of our heads. It's a novel.
Look, when we get out of here, we was going to get a publisher
and they were going to sell it in Smith's,
and Hollywood was going to make a big movie about it,
and me and Darlene would make a mint.
Well, that was the plan, anyway.
It sounds more like a plan to murder your wing governor to me.
No! No, sir, you've got it all wrong!
So how come we found a dart in the back of Mr Fenner's neck?
-A thorn? -That was Darlene.
Janine's the one that shoot it. She did it. She use a plastic straw.
And some sharp thing she find in the garden. A thorn.
And then she use rat poison she find from Tina.
So this wasn't just a story you were making up?
A story. That's what she tell me when she see me.
But I think to myself, say, ''She take it too serious.''
And I say to myself, ''That is not good.''
Well, then she start chatting about Fenner.
It was Darlene what said it would be a good idea to try it out on Fenner.
You ask anybody.
Janine's been crowing her head off about how she killed Fenner.
The only thing keeping me going the whole morning
has been the thought of a nice strong cuppa.
I wonder if the police have finished with Nebeski and Cake?
They can keep the pair of them till hell freezes over.
As long as that stupid man Hayes sees sense
and realises Di had nothing to do with what happened to Jim.
Hello, ma'am. Hope you're settling in okay.
I'm delighted to see you're making a real impression with the women, ma'am.
-I think you're just what this place needs. -Good. I'm glad we're of a similar mind.
Oh, there's no doubt about that, ma'am.
If you don't mind my speaking freely,
I believe the past number one's regime was a recipe for chaos.
What this place needs is some good old-fashioned discipline.
Excellent.
Then you'll agree that from now on, tea breaks will be strictly scheduled twice a day.
And talk to Works. I want that door removed. I don't like doors.
-Can't hear what's going on behind them. -Yes, ma'am.
So, Mrs Hollamby, if you've finished your tea,
perhaps we can have the patrolling staff back up to quarter?
You do realise just how much trouble you are both in?
I didn't kill anybody. You can't pin this on me.
-You can't! -And I didn't stab no one.
Look, you are both responsible for a poisoned dart
in the back of Wing Governor Fenner's neck.
You could be looking at a conspiracy to murder charge, if not murder itself.
At the very least, you're guilty of assault.
Just take them back to the wing, will you?
-What do you think? -I was right.
Finding a killer in here is like looking for a tart in Soho.
-You're spoilt for choice. -Look, maybe we should just let Di Fenner go.
No, she's still my favourite.
Well, apart from the vandalism to the car, we've got no physical evidence against her, sir.
I mean, there's still no murder weapon.
You're right. Maybe we should let her go.
You frigging blabbed. If we get done for this...
-It was your idea. -It was you that blew the dart into Fenner.
-But you poisoned it. -So?
It would have done no one no harm if you hadn't fired it, would it?
I'm telling you, if anyone's going down for attempted murder, Darlene,
it'll be you.
You're making a big mistake, you know.
You've got me locked up in here, when whoever killed Jim is still out there.
Well, there's not much chance of them doing a runner then, is there?
-And you'd better not, either. Come on. -What, you're letting me go?
-For now. -Why? How come?
Just think yourself lucky.
Oh, miss! So they let you out?
See, Ju, I told you Miss Barker never killed no one.
I know. I bet you wish you had have done, miss, though, eh?
Julies, I'm just so glad to be out. That was like the worst nightmare I've ever had.
Tell us about it. That's our life.
Yeah, but the difference is I'm not guilty of any crime.
So how come they let you out? They haven't got someone else for it, have they?
They took Darlene and Janine off earlier.
I don't know. The police are playing it close to their chests.
Oh, Di.
-I told that stupid man you were innocent. -Thanks, Sylv.
-And listen, I'm really sorry about... -Forget it.
Now, as you know, I'm not normally one for strong drink,
but after what you've been through, I think you could do with one.
And so could I, for that matter.
It looks like the new number one is going to be a real pain in the behind.
Thanks, Sylv. But I hardly slept a wink last night.
New number one or not, I'm going straight home to bed.
Well, who's to say she is innocent?
Even if she had killed Fenner, she wouldn't tell us, would she?
Ready for inspection, miss.
What's your name?
Buxton, miss. Natalie.
-Very good, Buxton. -Thank you, miss.
You know, I'm glad of the chance to have a tidy-up.
-Get some of my self-respect back. -Well, that's the idea.
Keep it up.
Home shitting home.
GUARD: Come on.
God knows what kind of grimy hole some of you crawled out to end up here.
Quite frankly, I don't care.
Right!
While I am number one here, you will keep yourselves clean and orderly.
The sooner you work out which is the business end of a broom,
the better it'll be for you.
In the meantime, Buxton's cell has the gold standard.
And as a reward, in addition to being trusted out on compassionate visit tomorrow,
she'll be having her own TV installed.
Mrs Fenner, give me the bag.
You see, at first we only had evidence for criminal damage, Mrs Fenner.
You vandalising your husband's car. But I knew there'd have to be more.
Unless, of course, you're going to tell me that this isn't your husband's blood
all over your uniform.
-Of course it's his blood. -Well, now we're getting somewhere.
Yeah, but I found him.
I didn't kill him.
Come on, you ignorant bastard, I'm talking to you.
Jim?
Oh, my God.
I was the wronged woman, wasn't I?
I found the body. There was blood all over me.
I knew what you'd think.
So you cleaned up and changed before going back in the chapel.
Yes.
Well, you were thinking very clearly for an innocent woman
who's just found her murdered husband.
-I was thinking it might have been my fault. -Might have been?
The only crime I'm guilty of
is not spotting that Pat Kerrigan had a weapon on the wing.
Oh, it's Pat Kerrigan, now, is it?
'Cause yesterday you were putting Natalie Buxton in the frame.
Make up your mind, Mrs Fenner.
But you found the weapon.
The stake with blood on it.
It was her blood, Mrs Fenner. We've got the lab report.
Whatever she intended to do with it, she didn't kill your husband.
What about Nebeski and Cake?
No, no, what about you, Mrs Fenner?
I mean, you change your story more often than I change my socks.
And you're the one hiding her blood-soaked uniform in her locker.
I want to see a lawyer.
Who are you? Where's Grayling?
Mr Grayling has been stepped aside.
I'm Joy Masterton, the new number one here.
Stepped aside? You mean fired.
He's your new G-Wing Governor.
And I take it that you've given Fenner the push?
Well, I'm really pleased to make your acquaintance.
Mr Fenner has been murdered.
Well.
It's almost worth the inconvenience of being dragged back to this dump just to hear that.
You'll find it more than an inconvenience, Oswyn.
Your days of attacking delivery men and taking off in their vehicles are long gone.
That was attempted rape.
And if you're in charge now, I hope that you are going to do something
about raising the quality of the staff.
Oh, there's going to be a lot of changes around here.
And I guarantee you won't like any of them.
I don't like your attitude, Oswyn.
I don't care how high-class or clever a thief you think you were in Spain,
'cause in my book, you're nothing but a cheat and a crook.
And it's my job to make sure you'll pay for that.
Yeah, whatever.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather tired.
They kept me waiting in reception for hours.
And being on the run is rather exhausting.
I'll show you how exhausting being on the run can be.
Gatehouse?
Open up the exercise yard.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to work out who killed Fenner.
See there's names, where people were and when, best I know.
And here, list of motives.
Since when did you become Miss bleeding Marple?
Oh, just leave it, Ju.
Fenner's dead. Ain't that enough for you?
Well, you're the one so sure Miss Barker ain't done it.
I don't know.
What's the point?
What's got into you?
After all these years, Fenner gets his just deserts,
and you ain't even interested in who from.
Fenner or no Fenner, what's the difference?
Still can't sit in a park on a sunny day,
or go window shopping,
and snog the face of some bloke you never met before in a noisy nightclub,
or pop and see the kids.
No...
Still stuck in this bloody rubbish dump.
Look, this is ridiculous.
In the army, I ran ten miles a day.
And I trust Hitler decorated you with an Iron Cross.
The discipline of physical exercise is the foundation of discipline in life, Oswyn.
Get running.
Start running or I'll put you on the block for a week.
I said run, not dance. Now, move it!
Shitting coppers are gonna have our arses for this.
That frigging book's like a blatant confession written in blood.
Well, it was your stupid story.
Yeah, and it's just a story.
Question is how the coppers got their mitts on it.
Well, you've changed your tune, haven't you?
I thought you wanted the glory for offing Fenner.
I don't know what you're looking all smarmy about.
It was you that give us the rat poison.
Yeah, but you didn't say nothing, did you?
You said you'd never tell no one.
It must have just slip out.
Without you,
all we did was stick a thorn in the back of Fenner's neck.
When you think about it,
it was actually you that killed Fenner.
So if we're going down, you're coming, too.
If you ask me, all three of you had better cop to the coppers
or it's not you going down, it's Pat.
How you mean, confess? You're mad, girl.
I ain't confessing to nothing.
I haven't done nothing.
Hang on a minute.
It was you, wasn't it?
You give my book to the Old Bill?
Like you said, practically a confession, isn't it?
You're dead meat, girl.
You lay one finger on me and you'll be answering to Pat.
I'm sorry about the delay, Mrs Fenner,
but at least you've had plenty of time to brief your lawyer.
Still, this shouldn't take long.
Oh, well, that's good news, I suppose.
Sergeant.
Di Fenner, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Jim Fenner.
You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned
something which you later rely on in court.
Anything you do say may be given in evidence.
Now what have I done?
You got company.
Oh, my God.
(BEVERLY EXCLAIMING)
Hello, darling.
I'll leave you to catch up.
Whatever happened?
If you mean my less than fragrant appearance,
blame that psycho bitch hussy we've got as a governor now.
If you mean how come I'm not sipping sangria
and watching an Andalusian sun
sink over a sparkling Med,
blame that on the bloody sherry.
-You mean you got drunk? -No. I didn't get drunk, I just...
had one too many,
and didn't notice my luck running out.
And now, here I am.
Back in this shitting shithole.
Oi! Kerrigan!
Do you wanna say your goodbyes now?
'Cause when I leave here tomorrow, the last thing you're gonna see of me
is me giving you the finger.
Enjoy the next 20 years.
'Cause I ain't coming back.
Good riddance to an old shit.
Is she doing a runner?
Right under a bloody bus, I hope.
What, and you're just going to let her?
It's not my job to keep her locked up.
You could tell the number one. Get on her good side.
I'm not grassing anyone up.
Not even a nonce.
Besides, I don't reckon the master's got a good side.
Just scales and spikes all over.
Well, Buxton's just gonna walk out of here, then, sticking her fingers up at the rest of us.
Yeah.
Well, I'm damned if she'll get away with it.
Okay, you'll spend the night here.
You'll be formally charged in the morning.
-I didn't kill him, you know. -You'll have every chance to tell it your way.
I didn't kill him.
But I bloody wish I had.
I wish I had stabbed the bastard to death!
I hope he's burning in Hell!
Do you hear me, Jim?
Burn in fucking Hell!
-Right, Kerrigan, up and at 'em! -What's happening?
It's all right, Parmar, enjoy your beauty sleep.
This is Kerrigan's early call.
-Up it, Kerrigan. -This has got to be some sort of shit joke.
On the landing, 30 squat jumps and hit the shower. Let's move!
Oh, come on. It's five in the pissing morning.
Grow a bloody heart.
On the landing now, or you're on cellular confinement.
Move.
Jesus.
What'd you do in the bloody army, anyway? Fry bollocks?
How did you guess?
Bleeding hell, Ju, what you doing?
-Just tidying up. -Yeah?
It can't be seven yet.
-What's up with you? -Must be all the excitement over Fenner.
Can't sleep.
Well, you were right down in the dumps last night.
What's going on?
Nothing.
I'm fine.
Miss Masterton's making her mark, I see.
In more ways than one.
Well, there's a lot for us all to get used to, with a new number one in charge.
Change is always difficult
but I expect you to meet the challenges of the new regime professionally.
We're all glad to have you looking after us in G-Wing, sir.
Thank you.
I'm confident that by giving G-Wing my full attention,
we can work together to relieve its problems.
And speaking of problems,
Phyllida Oswyn was returned to the wing last night.
They caught her.
Well, that's some good news, eh, Sylv?
How did they catch her?
A suspicious clerk in a bureau de change, or so I understand.
Has she said anything?
No, I haven't spoken to her yet.
But you can be sure I will.
I want to know every last detail about the escape, and what she got up to in Spain.
You're not well, Sylvia?
No, I was just wondering if there was any news on Di.
It's not good, I'm afraid.
The police will be along this morning to take her to Bennett Street police station
to charge her with Jim's murder.
I know you're feeling down, darling, but, well, at least we're back together again.
I don't wanna be back together again.
Can I?
No one else there, is there?
Look, Pat,
I'm not gonna be here much longer.
They've approved me getting out on tag.
Good.
In the meantime, I don't want us to fight.
It's not me you want to be worrying about.
It's getting back to your little lad.
We don't have to fight,
so long as you promise
to keep your head down.
Get out of here for him.
Deal.
Okay.
I've gotta go and take care of something.
Oh, have you heard?
Miss Barker has been arrested for Fenner's murder.
They've never.
Yeah, she said she never done it, but they've got evidence.
But they couldn't have.
If they've got evidence, she must've done it.
I mean, the filth was hardly going to set up a screw.
It's like one of their own, innit?
Are you feeling all right?
I gotta do something, Ju.
I know what you mean, Ju. But what can you do?
It's like I said.
Miss Barker could have done it, for all we know.
Make sure you're all ready to go in one hour.
Oh, I'm ready, Mr Spiers.
And I'm really looking forward to it.
Just be there. Get as many as you can.
All right?
(SIREN WAILING)
That's it. You're off your food, you're acting dead funny.
You're gonna go and see the doctor.
Mr Grayling.
What is it, Ju?
It ain't right, the police charging Miss Barker.
I'm sorry, Julie. Look, I know you got on well with Officer Barker...
-Fenner, but there's nothing... -No, but you don't understand.
She didn't kill Fenner. It was me.
I did it.
Julie, if this is some sort of stunt...
This ain't no bloody stunt, sir.
I just can't let Miss Barker take the blame for what I done.
I hated the bastard. I killed him.
-And he deserved it. -No, don't listen to her, sir.
She's ill. She's been acting dead funny since last night.
-Yeah, she don't mean nothing by it. -I do. I mean every word.
Get the police, sir. I murdered him.
I don't know.
No, she's only doing it to cover up for me.
I've been waiting for years for a chance to murder that bastard.
Yeah.
-No, Ju. -Yes, right, sir. Yeah.
I planned the whole thing. I set up everything.
Julies, I'm sorry. Look, I really am, believe me, but you've...
you've just confessed in front of everyone.
-I really am gonna have to tell the police. -She didn't do it.
-Ju. -I did it. I killed Fenner.
No, you didn't.
Neither of you did.
It was me.
I killed Fenner.
No, she didn't. I did.
No, I killed Fenner.
No, it weren't. It was me.
I killed Fenner.
No, piss on this. I killed Fenner.
And me. I killed Fenner.
WOMAN: I killed Fenner.
2ND WOMAN: I killed Fenner.
3RD WOMAN: I killed Fenner.
It was bad enough before I went away. Now it's a bloody madhouse.
Welcome to the asylum.
Actually, I killed Fenner.
-I killed Fenner. -No, I killed Fenner.
No, I killed Fenner.
-I killed Fenner. -That's enough!
Everyone back to their cells, now.
Come on, Ju.
Sorry about that, sir.
Miss, I didn't kill Fenner, and it's my day out today.
Looks like you're the only one around here I can trust, Buxton.
Trust brings privileges.
Don't worry, you'll get your day out.
Great bunch of girls, eh, Ju? Come on.
It's bloody amazing.
Every one of us united against Fenner.
It was bloody great, wasn't it, Ju?
You shouldn't have done that, Ju.
What, and let you go down for summat you didn't do? No way.
I like Miss Barker as much as you do.
But what's the good in taking the rap for her? It don't make no sense.
-She didn't do it. -Well, then who did?
I told you.
I did.
Don't talk like that, Ju, it's past a joke, all right?
If you killed him, I knew you'd go down for it.
I couldn't bear that.
Same reason I didn't 'fess up straight after.
I didn't want us getting split up.
You couldn't have.
I did.
Just after I changed me clothes for the service,
I slipped into the cooler room.
You know, they're dead careful about sharp edges and knives in here.
But who'd give a second thought to a piece of ice, eh?
So, with a pair of scissors I smuggled out from the salon,
I carved out a weapon from the ice.
And he locked her in that tunnel and he left her there to die.
And by God, he's gonna bloody well pay for it!
(ALL CHEERING)
I put the scissors back before anyone noticed,
then waited until everyone started kicking off at the service.
And when everyone was distracted,
I slipped out the chapel.
I hid it in the bog.
I'd left it wrapped up in tin foil.
And it'd kept pretty well in that freezing cold water.
Then I went down to the hanging cell to find Fenner.
When I got there, the bastard was already on his knees.
I couldn't help meself.
I had to do it. And I stabbed him right in the neck.
As I watched the pathetic shit die,
I couldn't believe what I'd done.
I dropped the ice and I ran.
But I heard footsteps and saw Mrs Fenner,
so I hid in one of the old cells.
Jim?
Come on, you ignorant bastard, I'm talking to you.
When she passed, I snuck back up to the chapel.
It was the perfect weapon.
It melted, leaving no trace.
Just a puddle of water.
HAYES: I tell you, Hooky, this is gonna be fun.
HOOK: What, a wing governor murdered in his own prison?
I did it, Ju.
I killed Fenner.
He always bloody won. Every lie he told,
every cheating move he made,
he won every time.
He threatened to kill me.
And you know what? Putting me behind bars, he's gone one better.
HOOK: She's right, you know.
A screw behind bars? She'd be better off dead.
Are you sure she did it?
Yep. She did it.
Well, look what we have here. Is that a screw on the loose?
Have you come to see how the other half live, miss?
Don't worry, you will.
Here.
You certainly know how to make a girl feel special.
Come on, stop messing around.
Believe me, sir, I am well finished with messing around.
Stay away from me, you shitty evil little bitch.
I bloody hate you.
I hate you, you cow!
I bloody hate you, you bitch!