Mm, hey. Hi, everyone.
- [ Joey ]: Hey. - [ Rachel ]: Hi.
Pheebs, what's wrong?
Ah, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring!
Oh, my God!
- Congratulations. - Wow.
So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared?
Oh, did he cry?
Yeah, big surprise... I like proposals.
Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever.
Well, hey, well, here's to Phoebe... who's found the greatest guy in the world.
To Phoebe and...
I want to say..."Mike"?
- To Phoebe and Mike! - [ Rachel ]: Hey.
- Thank you. - [ Rachel ]: Oh.
- Oh, and I have something for you. - Hmm.
Yeah, it's my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Oh, ha, ha, Pheebs...that's nice, but you know what, I think I'm okay.
Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends.
I would, but you're the last one.
Give me the book!
"Pablo Diaz...
Brady Smith..." Ha.
"Guy in Van..."?
Ah, my first love.
Ah.
What does the red "X" next to Bob Gremore's name mean?
Dead.
Oh, it's okay. No, he was old. Yeah.
And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married.
Although, it wasn't so much a book as a napkin.
With Janice's phone number on it.
[ Rachel ]: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?
Oh, yes, they are.
Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com
{an8}♪ So no one told you life was going to be this way ♪
{an8}♪ Your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
{an8}♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
{an8}♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
{an8}♪ When it hasn't been your day, your week ♪
{an8}♪ Your month, or even your year ♪
{an8}♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
{an8}♪ 'Cause you're there for me, too ♪
{an8}Hey, honey.
{an8}Hey, sweetie.
{an8}- Is Monica not here? - No.
{an8}Oh, then I'll tell you.
{an8}My agency was bidding for a big account, and they got it.
{an8}- It's my first national commercial. - Cool.
{an8}Yeah, and I don't want to brag, but a lot of the ideas were mine.
{an8}Hell, you weren't there. All the ideas were mine.
{an8}That's great. Hey, can you cast me in it?
{an8}Oh, I don't know. I really don't think you're right for the part.
{an8}What do you mean? I can do anything. I'm a chameleon, huh?
{an8}[ with gravelly voice ]: I'm old.
{an8}[ yawning ]: Huh, I'm tired, huh?
{an8}[ in normal voice ]: I am hot. I'm cold. Huh, come on, what can't I do?
{an8}First of all, bravo.
{an8}Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this.
{an8}The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
{an8}I can do that.
{an8}[ with haughty tone ]: Hello. I'm your professor.
{an8}When I'm not busy thinking of important things, or...professing...
{an8}I like to use... oh, what's the product?
Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions.
I'm cold.
- Hey. - Hey!
Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant?
I'll give you a hint. He's looking right at you.
Huh. Well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt,
I'm going to say, "Congratulations."
Ha, ha. Uh, I'm so excited.
Apparently, I beat out hundreds of other applicants.
Including five guys I went to graduate school with.
Not that I'm keeping score or anything. Five.
- Wow, that's great. - Yeah.
- So, tell me about the grant. - Well, okay, it's for $25,000,
and if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research.
And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review."
Yeah, it'll be the first time my name is in there
without people raising serious questions about my work.
Wait. Are you talking about the Dewer Grant?
Yeah, why?
Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
- Your ex-boyfriend? - Yeah.
So your ex-boyfriend is going to determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant?
Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.
No, no. We ended on great terms.
I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what?
Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
- Well, if you think it would help. - Yeah, absolutely. I'll call him.
Okay, now, is there anything I can do to butter him up?
- Anything he really likes? - Hmm...
he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
We'll see how dinner goes.
[ knocking on door ]
- Hey. - Hey. You want to go see a movie?
Well, I told you I had to spend all day clearing out stuff so Mike could move in.
- Oh, right. - Yeah.
Oh, well. Now that I'm here, I might as well
help you with your cleaning and organizing.
I just happen to have my label maker.
[ chuckles ]
Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff.
Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you moved in together?
Huh, Chandler did.
- What does he want you to give up? - A bunch of stuff.
And the worst one...
he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Who's Gladys?
[ gasps ]
- Wow. Oh, what a tragic loss. - Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know! Oh, you should take her!
Oh, I...I...I don't know.
Oh, what, you don't like her?
Heh, well, of course I do. What's not to like?
I'd take her in a minute.
But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey.
I think that you need to fight for her.
- Really, do you think? - Absolutely.
Yes, you say to him, "I'm sorry, Mike, I can't live without her.
She means too much to me."
Okay, I'll fight for her. Okay.
Oh, wait, oh, I just realized, if I do that,
that means you don't get her.
Damn it, I did not think this through.
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
Oh, any word on casting yet?
Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
[ Joey ]: What do you mean?
Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never going to be interested in.
Look, come on, please. It's not like I'm asking you for some crazy favor.
This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor.
Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work.
Look, here's a copy of my reel. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
- Joe... - Uh, just watch it.
And if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses.
- Fine. - Thank you.
- Work, Joe. - Damn it!
- What am I going to do now? - Just pass the tape along.
He's not right for the part.
So if I suggest him to my bosses, they're going to think I'm an idiot.
And that's something they should learn on their own.
Well, just tell Joey that you watched the tape
and you liked it, but your bosses didn't.
Then, that way, you're the good guy, and they're the bad guy.
That's good. I liked it, they didn't.
Joey, for God's sake, go to work!
[ inaudible dialogue ]
I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart.
Um, I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite
to my fantasy dinner party, ha, ha.
You think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO?
Sorry, it looks like it's just him.
[ sighs ]
Charlie.
- My God, you look absolutely stunning. - Oh.
Well, I am having a good hair day.
- It's so good to see you. - [ Charlie ]: Oh, you, too.
[ Benji ]: Mm.
[ clears throat ]
Ahem, I'm okay.
Um, I'm sorry. Um, Ross Geller, Benjamin Hobart.
Oh, it's an honor to meet you. I mean, I can't tell you how long
I've been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize, uh...whoo!
- Ha, ha. - Oh.
I mean, I have to tell you that you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Oh, well, uh, likewise.
Uh, actually, not likewise. I'd never heard of you until this morning,
but it's nice to be nice.
- Uh, shall we? - Yeah, ahem. Thank you. Ahem.
I can't believe that you chose this restaurant.
- Do you remember the night? - Oh, my God. I completely forgot.
- [ Benji ]: Ha-ha-ha. - Oh, my God.
I can't believe they let us back in this place.
[ all laughing ]
[ shrill laughter ]
- You weren't there. - Ha, ha.
No, but...you know, it's just a funny image,
you know, the two of you in this restaurant with...with the...hmm.
Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal while I go to the ladies' room.
Okay?
So, tell me about it.
Okay, well, I would like to do a dig in the Painted Desert.
Mm-hmm.
See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.
- Break up with Charlie. - What?
What?
Did...did you just say, "Break up with Charlie"?
Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it.
Um, kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Listen...I'm sorry.
I just haven't seen her for so long. All these feelings are rushing back.
I'm starting to realize how much I've missed her,
and I'm going to need you to break up with her.
- Are you serious? - If you say yes, then I'm serious.
If you say no, then I'm joking.
- No. - Joking it is.
- Hi. Sorry I'm late. - Hey. How'd it go with Mike?
- Is he going to let you keep the painting? - Huh, no. He really hates it, ugh.
But he's going to let me keep my box of human hair.
So, you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours.
Wow, what's the bad news?
- Who's Gladys? - Oh, she's that work of art I made...
you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Oh, and Monica gets to keep her?
In her house? I am so jealous.
- Oh, I didn't know you wanted her, too. - Oh.
Well, I mean, sure, of course.
But...you already gave that to Monica, so...
- No, no, I would give her up for you. - No, I couldn't let you do that.
- No, but I want to. - But I don't want you to.
- But I insist. - But I insist harder.
Okay, girls, girls, stop. Okay, we'll flip a coin.
Heads she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's.
[ Monica gasps ]
- Tails. - [ Rachel ]: Oh.
- Monica, she's yours. - No, that landed in your food.
No, no, that's okay. You won fair and square. I'm so sad.
- Hey, Joe. - What's up?
Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses,
- and they weren't interested. - Oh.
I'm sorry, man.
- Well...but, uh, you watched the tape? - Yeah, I...I...I liked it.
But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
- You didn't watch the tape. - What? Of course I did.
Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
- I'm not lying to you...I watched it. - There, you lied again.
- I watched it! - Keep going, Pinocchio!
- I did! - No, you didn't!
I'm telling you, I watched the tape!
- Did you watch the tape? - No.
So, the selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today.
The ultimate decision will be based upon the
answers you give to the questions I ask here.
We're going to start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant
on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence.
- I plan to begin there. - Interesting.
[ quietly ]: I guess.
Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
Primarily in the Pierre-Shale region of South Dakota.
Certainly. Very well. And, Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
What? I...I...uh.
Care to venture a guess?
- May 12? - That's not even kind of close.
Dr. Li, how many graduate students will you be needing?
- Half a dozen. - I see. And Dr. Biely?
Three for excavation, and two for analysis.
Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit
was later covered by a popular British Invasion band?
[ mouths ]: Wha...?
What? I need six graduate students.
No, I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby, It's You."
"Baby, It's You."
Wha...wait, wait, wait just a minute.
None of my questions have anything to do with paleontology.
You're right. I apologize. Scratch the last question.
Spell "Boscodictiasaur."
Um...I've never heard of a "Bosco...dictiasaur."
Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
- Okay. B-O... - No, it starts with a silent "M."
Oh, come on!
I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar.
But you are a liar.
What did I just say?
- Are you still here? - [ Chandler ]: Yes.
And I have to say, I am not just hurt, I am insulted.
When I tell somebody I did something...
Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right?
Then you lied about lying, okay?
Then you lied about lying about lying, okay?
So before you lie about lying about lying about...lying about...lying...
stop lying!
Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
You know what? You want to know why?
Well, this is going well.
Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, okay?
If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments.
All right, now, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this,
and it only aired in Japan.
Ichiban.
[ ♪ funky music playing on TV ]
Ichiban. Lipstick for men.
[ speaks in Japanese ]: Seiko.
And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape!
[ door slams ]
He really is a chameleon.
Well, Gladys, say hello to your new home.
- Oh, my. - Wow.
Oh, she is so nice and big.
Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys, oh, so proudly?
I haven't really settled on a spot yet.
Oh, hey, how about right above the TV?
That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door.
Yeah! Yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
- I like that poster. - [ Phoebe ]: Really?
It doesn't have anything coming out of it.
Or maybe there's someplace for her in your bedroom?
- Oh! There's nothing above your bed! - Are you still here?!
Oh, hi. Hello.
Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology-related questions?
Um, your grandmother's nickname, perhaps?
Ann-Margaret's pant size?
I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings
for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
No. Stop.
Anyway, I decided to offer you the grant.
Really?
Well, there is just, uh, one small stipulation.
- I have to break up with Charlie? - Hey, you got one right.
- You're crazy. - Crazy or romantic?
Crazy.
- Or...? - Get out!
Oh, my God!
[ Rachel gasps ]
- What-what? - Joey, what is this thing doing here?
I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
- Joey, we're not keeping this. - But it's an original Buffay.
All right, fine, you can keep it.
As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Wha-what? Hey, what? Whoa, what? What?
Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you're asleep.
She climbs out of the frame,
and then drags her half a body across the floor,
just looking for legs to steal.
[ gasps ]
And then with her one good hand,
she slowly reaches up
and turns your doorknob...
Get that legless witch out of here!
- Hey, I sold that to Joey. - Yeah? Well, I told him it's haunted.
- Two can play at this game. - No, too late. You can't give it back.
- Oh, yes, I can. - No, you can't...she's yours!
- She's yours! - She's yours!
- Hey.
- She's mine! - She's mine!
You guys, you guys, you don't have to fight over her anymore.
Whoever doesn't get Gladys, gets Glynnis.
[ gasps ]
- I want Gladys! - She's mine!
- She's mine!
[ Monica shouting indistinctly ]
Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape,
and I promise next time to submit you,
whether I think you're right for the part or not.
That's not the point, Chandler. The point is that you lied.
I know. You're right.
What's it going to take for you to forgive me?
Oh, my God.
Oh, excellent.
Now, what do you say?
Lying is wrong.
And? And?
I'm a pretty little girl.
I knew it. Ha, ha.
Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
- Did you get the grant? - No, I didn't, and you want to know why?
Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
What?
Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant because I wouldn't give you up.
Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me.
- And besides, he's a very ethical man. - Really?
Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review,
"Who was the voice of Underdog?"
I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay?
I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
- Seriously? - No, oh, I'm sorry, no, he did ask me one.
Uh, how do you spell "Boscodictiasaur?"
Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
Damn it!
Dr. Geller? Charlie. What are you... what are you doing here?
I want you to tell her everything...
about the deal you tried to make with me, about the...the crazy questions you...
Wally Cox. That's the voice of Underdog.
Like I tried to tell you in the interview, Ross,
this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
No, no, no, don't do that.
I want you to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth.
Benji?
All right, it's true. I behaved horribly, but it's only because I still love you,
and I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Too little, too late, Benji!
- I can't believe this. - I never should have broken up with you.
I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
No.
- Yes. - What?
I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so...
romantic.
Or...?
Listen, I know I may be way out of bounds here,
but is there any chance you would take me back?
Maybe.
Sweetie, this conversation's starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
Oh, God. I am so sorry, but...
I mean...there's so much history between us, you know?
I'm sorry, too.
- I...I love you. - Oh, I love you, too.
Okay, that's it... we are seeing other people!
{an8}[ fabric ripping slowly ]
{an8}[ ripping continues ]
{an8}Gladys?
{an8}[ screaming ]
{an8}[ Rachel laughs ]: Ha-ha!
{an8}Third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
{an8}[ Rachel laughs ]
{an8}- [ panting ]: You're mean! - Aw, don't be such a baby. Please.
{an8}[ screams ]
{an8}[ shouts ]
{an8}[ door closes ]
{an8}[ laughing ]
{an8}Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com