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Previously on Felicity.
- What is it you want from me? - Your forgiveness.
- l can't give you that now. - l love you.
- What's up with your neck? - Nothing. lt's a rash.
BS. That's a hickey.
Richard, just leave her alone.
Hey... Wait a minute.
- Does Ben know? - Just stop.
Poor guy. Actually, poor you. He's gonna kick your ass.
My God, you are unbelievable.
Hey, missy, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Right?
- What are you doing? - Hang on!
- All right, don't look. - l'm not.
All right, open your eyes. Happy birthday.
My birthday's tomorrow.
What?
Are you serious?
Yeah, my birthday's tomorrow.
You don't think l know that?
l just wanted you to have your present today.
What is it?
Just open it.
l'm sorry about the wrapping. That's all l had.
lt's so big.
- [gasps] Oh, my God. - Yeah, it's a Flexible Flyer.
They don't make 'em anymore, but it's got the original decals.
This is so cool. l love it so much!
Thank you.
l can't wait for it to snow.
lt did, actually, in Vermont. They got a foot of snow.
l was thinking we could go up for the weekend.
- Don't you have class? - l asked Trevor to take notes.
l have to run this critique for Cavallo.
lt's a big deal because it's my first time.
But l'll be done by noon.
Okay, we'll go then.
- This is so perfect. - Yeah, it's cool.
- Thank you. - No problem.
- [door opens] - [Sean clears throat]
Uh, phone's for you.
Yeah, don't worry about knocking there.
- Who is it? - She says it's important.
She got me out of bed, it's so important.
- l hope it's important. - Hello?
Yeah...
Rough night?
Um, Meghan and l were up till 3:00
trying to come up with a name for our company.
What do you think? ''Meghanlomania,'' or ''Seanshirts''?
l'm gonna stay out of that one.
- Seanshirts is better, right? - l think they're both good.
Meghanlomania's impossible to say.
l gotta go tell her Seanshirts.
Definitely Seanshirts.
Thanks.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, thanks.
Who was it?
Ah, some woman named Lauren. She says my dad's her AA sponsor.
l guess he's back in the hospital.
- ln New York? - Yeah.
Why? What happened?
Uh, he's got liver failure. He wants me to come see him.
Are you going to?
How sick is he? ls he gonna be okay?
l don't know.
♪ Can you become
♪ A new version of you
♪ New wallpaper
♪ New shoe leather
♪ A new way home
♪ I don't remember
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me ♪
We thought we'd give it a chance.
The only girls on the men's lacrosse floor.
You want to change dorms.
- They started saying stuff. - Embarrassing things.
- Calling us the Olsen twins. - Which l don't want to get into.
Okay, l'll call Housing.
Let us finish. They were doing disgusting stuff.
- Peeing in the sink. - They don't pee in the sink.
- One guy did. You weren't there. - So, you need new housing.
- How long will it take? - We're dying.
- l'll do it as soon as l can. - Thank you!
You are the best.
- Bye. - Bye.
- He's not there. - Okay.
- You must be Ben. l'm Lauren. - Nice to meet you.
They took him for an MRl. He should be back in an hour.
An hour. Really?
Why? ls that a problem?
l'm going away for the weekend with my girlfriend.
We're supposed to leave. So, it's a problem.
Can you wait?
He really needs to talk to you.
Why? What's going on?
His liver is completely shot.
Twenty years of drinking scotch will do that to you.
Well, they took him off the transplant list.
They didn't think he would survive the surgery.
l know the two of you have had a difficult relationship.
We don't actually have a relationship.
He has something he needs to tell you.
Probably isn't something l haven't heard a thousand times.
You should talk to him.
lf for no other reason than just
to say good-bye.
You know, maybe get some closure.
What does that mean?
lt means he's dying.
Yeah, they're freshmen. Female.
Uh, just put 'em where you want.
No, as long as it's not here, l don't care.
Okay.
Yeah, thanks.
[knocking]
- Yeah? - Hi, Noel.
l need some guidance, Mr. Guidance Counselor.
- Sure. - First,
my Gay and Lesbian Studies professor has the worst accent l've heard.
l can't understand a word.
Two, the administration needs to look into
getting toilet paper that comes in rolls, not squares.
l can't stand the squares. Eech, they're itchy.
The guy who had this job before me did it for 1 4 years.
That's not the kind of guidance l was looking for,
but it sounds like a committed man.
l don't know how he did it. l've had it for a week. l'm already dying.
Every day, there's a line of people with the most mind-numbing problems.
They don't like the food in the cafeteria.
They can't find their PO box.
They want the toilet paper to come in rolls instead of squares.
Okay, l'm sorry, but the rolls are better.
lt's like quicksand. lf l don't get out now, l'm gonna sink!
And breathe in a lot of sand.
No. Not anymore.
This job was supposed to be a stepping-stone.
That's what it's gonna be.
Everyone else's problems, they're gonna have to wait.
Okay. l guess l can live with the squares a little bit longer.
- Should l just start? - Sounds like a good idea.
Okay, um, l actually did this assignment my freshman year
and thought, ''A spoon?''
But, uh, it's a good way to practice working with light.
Whose is this?
lt's mine.
l know there's no spoon.
Yeah, but that's what's so great.
l mean, the whole drawing's the spoon.
lt's like a self-portrait.
Which wasn't the assignment.
The purpose was to work on the detail of a specific object.
That's true, but l love the way she pushed beyond that
and took such an expressionistic approach.
Right.
Okay, let's get back to the assignment. Um, Mr. Hutman.
What have you brought for us today?
[Richard] So, where do you want this big bush, ladies?
Uh, wherever you want.
[rock music plays]
What are you doing?
- The babes don't like houseplants. - What babes?
Tammy and Gaby.
Who the hell are Tammy and Gaby?
Hey, we're your new roommates. l'm Tammy.
- Are those my books? - Yeah.
You have so many. You obviously read a lot.
Hi!
l'm Gaby. You must be Elena.
What the hell is going on?
- We put everything away. - Like it was in your old room.
Am l glistening? Because l really worked up a sweat.
l don't know who told you that you could move in, but...
- The housing department. - And Richard's friend, Noel.
Noel?
Pretty great, huh?
l wonder why l keep Crane as a friend.
Then he makes something like this happen, and l go, ''Yeah.''
- You are totally moved in. - So are we.
- Bye. - See ya.
- Tammy has the hots for me. - Which one's Tammy?
Who cares? They're fine fillies waiting to be tamed.
Professor Cavallo? Hi. l don't want to bother you.
l just... l just wanted to say that
l know you didn't choose me to be your TA,
and l know you don't exactly admire my work...
ls this about the honors thesis program?
No. l just want to be able to help you and the students,
and if there's anything else l could be doing,
or any advice you might have
besides sticking to the assignment, uh...
l'm late.
Oh. Okay.
Why don't l take you to lunch tomorrow.
We can talk then.
Uh, lunch?
Yeah, just the two of us?
- Oh, okay. - Good.
[Elena] He's putting the moves on you.
- He is not. - Just the two of you?
- Yes, l asked him for advice. - Take mine. Don't go.
[Tammy] One minute!
One minute, and l'm gonna pee in this trash can.
l went through this with McGrath.
The situation is totally different. McGrath liked you; you liked him.
Cavallo and l are strictly professional.
Why didn't he ask you to come back at office hours?
Because l'm not a student. l'm his...
- Colleague? - Yeah, l wish.
You don't want to be in a position where you have to turn him down.
- And l'm not. - Be sure.
You have to work with him the whole semester.
Just a sec!
We ought to get rid of them! They lost my suede jacket.
- No, they didn't? - Yeah, they did.
My closet's organized. lt is jean jacket, suede jacket, leather jacket.
Now it's jean jacket, empty hanger, leather jacket.
[Tammy] Hold on!
- This is insane. - Where are you going?
To the neighbor's to pee before my bladder explodes.
So, l don't really understand.
You flew all the way from California because he's your sponsor?
He used to be my sponsor.
l just thought that he could use some support.
So, you're not going out or anything?
[laughs] No.
No, l'm here because l care about your dad.
And because, uh,
he's been incredibly helpful to me.
- He's been helpful? Really? - What?
l just can't imagine it.
l don't think l've seen him be helpful to anyone, to be honest.
l think this is him.
l'm just gonna, um, wait out here, okay?
Okay.
Ben. Come here.
- This is my son. - Hi. Dr. Ansari.
You sure you don't want anything for the pain?
No, l'm gonna do this sober.
lt's been 67 days.
lf you change your mind, you let me know.
Nice to meet you.
l didn't know if you'd come down.
l didn't know, either.
You look good.
Thank you.
Anything looks good compared to me.
You should see the belly l've got now.
They drained the fluid off, but yesterday, if you'd come by,
l was out to here.
l looked like Sam Medof. Remember him?
The guy from the tennis club? Remember old Sam?
Yeah, l do.
So, how's school?
- Mom tells me you're premed. - Yeah.
l called to congratulate you, but you never returned the calls.
Dad, your friend outside said you had something to tell me.
What do you want?
Okay.
You probably know more about this than l do, but...
l guess since my liver isn't working,
it can't clear any toxins,
so apparently it affects my brain.
And they say there's a possibility that l won't
be able to think clearly, or,
you know, make decisions.
lf that happens, or...
...when that happens,
l need you to make them for me.
What?
There's this thing called power of attorney.
lt lets you name someone to make decisions about your medical care.
l was wondering, do you think maybe you could do that for me?
- Dad, come on. - Ben, look, l know
l haven't been the greatest father, and l'm sorry.
About everything.
But l have been sober now for 67 days.
Yeah, you mentioned that.
That is the longest l've gone without a drink ever.
And l am going to do this sober.
No pain medication, no morphine, no nothing.
And if my heart stops or l can't breathe anymore,
l do not want to be kept alive on a machine.
Are you listening to me?
Yeah, l'm listening, Dad.
So, will you do that?
Yeah, l can do that.
Good boy. That's good.
He's been trying to kill himself for years.
Why should l stop him?
l don't know.
Maybe because this time he's sober.
He said he was sober last time he was here. Remember that?
Honestly, it never changes with him. He always wants something.
He's always making somebody else clean up his mess.
l don't want to be a part of it anymore.
Maybe this time it's different.
Maybe he really has changed.
l don't know.
l can't give him any more chances.
Don't tell anybody about this. All right?
Okay.
We should leave early for our trip tomorrow, don't you think?
Oh.
What?
Well, l just assumed we weren't going because of everything with your dad.
l-l told Cavallo l'd work with him on my critiques.
Maybe we can go next weekend. You should stay around.
No, it's your birthday. l really want to go.
Let's just go when you're done.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, l'm sure.
Okay.
- [knocking] - Javier.
Hi, Noelly.
Hi. l know you're going through a change of life thingy.
You don't want to help anyone else but yourself.
Too bad. l need you, and that's what friends are for.
2:30, 3:30, 5:00, and 7:00.
Your feedings?
No, job interviews. l went through the new listings and set up four interviews.
Already? That's like a world record or something.
What did you want to see me for?
Oh, yes. Okay. Right.
l finally decided to give Felicity a photo album for her birthday.
But these are the only photos l have.
There's no photos here.
Exactly. Can l borrow some to give her?
l'll see what l got when l get home.
Thank you.
Have the new job listings come in yet?
Uh, the job listings.
No, no, they haven't come in yet.
- When are they coming in? - When?
l don't know.
You're not a very good guidance counselor.
Yeah, l know. l'm sorry.
l can't stand this.
Excuse me, young man.
Do you know how to make coffee?
What?
Coffee. You know, with the beans, the aroma?
Juan Valdez? The hat? The donkey?
l don't know.
l guess.
Okay, good enough.
Be at Dean & Deluca on Tenth tomorrow at 3:00.
But l don't drink coffee.
You're a saint to do this job. Not to drink. To work.
Really?
Thanks, man. You rock.
- Can l send them all to you? - No, you may not.
- Do not forget my photos. - Okay.
Javier?
You rock.
Oh, thank you. l rock.
No, l definitely don't really consider myself an artist.
Why not?
Um...
l-l just don't.
But l am... l'm worried about the class.
You're doing great.
No, l'm not. l couldn't even run that critique.
Takes practice, which you're gonna get plenty of next week.
l'm gonna be consulting on an exhibit at the Rodin Museum in Philadelphia.
l love Rodin.
Stanford has a huge collection. l used to go there with my mom.
So you know what he can do with the human figure.
Every line,
every muscle is perfect.
Did you know he was rejected three times from Ecole des Beaux-Arts?
No.
So don't let some honors program,
not even mine,
derail you.
l won't.
[Elena] Happy birthday.
You didn't have to get me anything.
l know. l wanted to.
- [gasps] - You can use those this weekend.
l love them. Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
On my birthday, feel free to get me a new suede jacket.
[loud rock music playing]
And earplugs.
- What am l gonna do about Cavallo? - You have to confront him.
- Get it out in the open. - Can't l avoid him?
No. They're like bad roommates.
lgnore the problem now, and it only gets worse. Excuse me.
[music blaring]
This has got to stop.
No. The massage train has got to keep rolling.
- We don't have your jacket. - For the hundredth time.
[music stops]
Does the entire dorm have to hear your music?
Hey. l'm sensing chick roommate tension here.
lt's making me uncomfortable.
How about l get you something refreshing to drink.
Yeah, thanks.
- l'm standing here, too. - What? Yeah, l know.
- He's friends with Noel, right? - Yeah. Why?
l told you this was gonna work.
- l hope so. - [doorbell rings]
Just keep the music down and find my jacket.
Okay.
Hey, is she around?
Yeah, she's in her bedroom packing.
Welcome to Babe City. Huh?
Hey.
Did you pack long underwear? l can't decide if l should bring it.
What? What's wrong?
l, uh...
l got a call from Lauren. My dad's getting worse.
What did she say?
She said l should go see him.
And l just don't think l can go away.
No, of course not. Of course not.
You want me to go with you?
No, she's gonna meet me at the loft. We're gonna go from there.
How is he? l mean, are you gonna have to...
l don't know.
Anyway, happy birthday. l'm really sorry about this.
- Maybe we'll go next weekend. - Yeah.
[loud rock music]
What is that?
Our new roommates.
l know you're meeting with a lot of people.
l'm sure they're all talented,
but l believe l have what it takes to be lead designer at RedBird Productions.
Here's my philosophy.
lf you're lucky enough to find the exact thing that you love,
and in graphic design, l have...
The thing is, l know what l want to do.
That's why you should hire me.
l mean, l'm enthusiastic.
l'm hard-working, l'm a go-getter. l've never said ''go-getter'' before.
l don't know why l said it. But l'm talented...
And l'll work so hard for you.
And l'm sure, um, Mr. Seagrave,
that there was a time...
...when you were where l am right now.
l'll work part-time.
l mean, l'll do anything.
Just hire me.
♪ Have you heard about the lonesome loser
♪ He's a loser, but he still keeps on trying
Noel?
Oh, hey.
l was just walking by, and l saw your light was on.
- What are you doing? - Just staring at the ceiling.
Which, apparently, is the same ceiling l'm gonna be staring at
for the next 1 4 years.
What are you talking about?
My nonexistent career.
l had four job interviews today.
Basically, l'm...
l'm gonna be a guidance counselor for the rest of my life.
You think that's a problem?
Happy birthday, by the way.
Thanks.
l thought you were going to the snow? Sean told me.
Um, no, we canceled it. Ben's dad is in town.
Oh.
You're not gonna do anything?
We're going up next weekend and celebrate.
Oh, that's good.
lt is. lt's fine, actually.
What?
Nothing, it's just... lt's...
lt's your 21 st birthday. You know?
l mean, at least let me take you out and buy you your first legal drink.
l know that l could use one.
Thanks, but l'm gonna go paint.
Hey, and those interviewers, they're idiots.
They'd be lucky to have you.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
[jazz playing]
[ringing]
[Meghan] Hi, this is Meghan and Sean's house.
- What are you doing? - Making a new message.
- But... - Shut up.
This is Meghan and Sean's. Leave a message.
And I guess Ben and Noel live here, too. For now. [beeps]
Hey, Noel, it's Elena.
Guess where l am?
l'm not at a concert. l'm not at a bar.
l'm in my apartment, which has been taken over
by those freshmen you stuck in here.
lf you don't get them out of here ASAP, l will kick your behind.
- They want Noel. - Who?
Tammy and Gaby. The N-man always scores.
First he sleeps with Felicity. Don't deny it. l saw the hickey.
Now he's gonna get those two muffins.
Your message has been recorded.
- What? - That was Noel's phone.
Which is Ben's phone.
l'm sorry l'm late. l wanted to get flowers.
Don't worry about it. lt's fine.
- Are you all right? - lt's just so sad.
Yeah.
He's been like a father to me.
That was such a stupid thing to say.
l'm so sorry.
No, l understand. l do.
[sighs]
He talks about you all the time.
- lt's all right. - No, all the time.
About your trip to Tahoe and the fishing contest
that you didn't quite win.
And when he taught you how to ski.
Yeah.
And when he wallpapered your room.
l don't remember him doing that.
Well, you were just a baby, so...
l think it had little cars in it.
Yeah, l do remember that.
[Noel] Yeah, and your company's fantastic.
l really enjoyed it.
Oh, yeah, sure. You know, l, uh...
l understand. Yeah.
He loves you very much.
Yeah.
l'm sorry.
lt's all right.
[Noel] No, no, l understand.
Yeah, thank you.
[panting]
[Ansari] That's good. Try one more time.
Look who's here. Do you know who this is?
- lt's Ben. - Hey, Dad. How you doing?
- Why is he like that? - Let's come over here for a second.
Hey, Dad?
l'm gonna go talk to the doctor.
Okay?
Okay.
So, obviously, he has gotten worse.
The thing that concerns me is his breathing.
He's taking about 20 breaths per minute.
- What's normal? - About ten.
l was training to be a paramedic this summer.
Then you know that he doesn't have the strength to keep this rate up.
His chart says you have power of attorney.
- You want to tube him? - Put him on life support?
How much time would that buy him?
lt's hard to tell. A month, a week.
He doesn't want that.
Can we hear what the doctor has to say?
There's pain management. He's refused to take anything.
- He wants to do this sober. - l understand.
But that's no reason for him to be in pain. Think about it.
Free studio space in Manhattan.
Hi.
One perk of the job, and a luxury you will miss when you graduate.
Yeah, it's great here.
Professor Cavallo?
Jeremy.
Um...
l, uh, l don't...
...really know how to say this, um, except...
l-l felt a little uncomfortable at lunch
when you held my hand,
or touched me, you know, whatever.
You should have. lf you thought l was making a move on you.
ls that what you're saying?
Yeah, l... Yeah, l guess.
l wasn't.
Oh.
Oh, good. l mean, l could have been wrong. l just...
l'm in a relationship right now, and, um,
l'm not looking for anything else, especially from a colleague.
But l admire you for bringing that up.
That's good, 'cause l feel really stupid.
Don't.
Okay. Um, thanks.
Colleague, huh?
Gretchen. Hi.
Um, am l early? Should l go?
No, Felicity and l were just finishing up.
Gretchen's helping me with a show l'm putting up.
- Oh, good. - [Cavallo chuckles]
Bye.
- Let me do the talking. - Why you?
Because l know how to handle people.
Hey.
What is that?
lt's our new product.
The card vest. What do you think?
Fine. You do the talking.
You guys okay?
Great, yeah. Never better.
Hey, you wanna hear a secret?
- What? - Sure you do.
Everybody wants to hear a good secret.
- Whoa, hey. - Oh, Meghan's here.
Fantastic. She can hear it, too.
- Hear what? - [Sean] Some secret.
Not just some secret.
Uh, but you gotta come over here to hear it.
l'm busy.
You know what? This secret is too big to miss.
What are you doing?
Come here. l can trust you guys, right?
This is a secret. So you can't tell anyone.
Okay, you gonna tell us?
- Listen. This... - Just tell us!
This is big, guys. This is, like, Watergate big.
You're coming out, aren't you?
Stop with that. No, l'm not gay.
Messages deleted.
What the hell?
Uh, l'm... How did that happen?
Well, gotta go.
Wait. What happened to that secret?
You know what? lt wasn't that great.
- Yeah. Bye, Sean. - Bye, Meghan.
Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
Yes, the sound of our messages being erased.
No, our new name. ''Shmeghan.''
- lt's Sean, it's Meghan. - lt's pretty good.
lt's perfect. People are gonna love this.
[phone rings]
Phone's already ringing off the hook.
Hello? Shmeghan.
Shmeghan.
[gasping, panting]
You're gonna do it, aren't you?
What am l supposed to do? He's my father.
He asked you specifically...
Look at him. He's in pain. He can't breathe.
He made his wishes very clear.
Fine. l didn't ask for his power of attorney.
Where are you going?
He doesn't want to be saved. l'm not gonna save him.
Hey.
Who was that girl?
What girl?
The girl l saw you with tonight.
l don't know what you're talking about.
The one out front with the big bouquet of flowers.
l'm not in the mood for this crap now.
Felicity said you were with your dad, and l see you outside
hugging some girl on the sidewalk.
She's a friend of my dad's, not that it's your business.
You're with her on Felicity's birthday?
What are you saying? l'm cheating on Felicity?
No, one of my best friends is alone on her birthday.
You don't know what you're talking about. Drop the ''best friend'' crap.
- We all know what you're doing. - What's that?
You graduated, and you're hanging around as a guidance counselor.
lt's obvious you're waiting around for her.
l'm not waiting for anyone. l need a job.
- You need a job down the hall from her. - Yes.
Give it up. She was never yours, she never will be,
so accept it and move on.
You're never gonna have her, all right?
l already did.
l'm not talking about some freshman crush.
Neither am l.
What are you talking about?
- Excuse me. Can l talk to you? - Certainly.
lf we do this, put him on a respirator...
But...
l'm talking to the doctor. Can l talk to you?
Can we get him back on the transplant list?
Probably not.
Probably or definitely? ls there a chance?
There is a chance, but it's very small.
l don't care. l want to do it.
- Okay. - All right.
- Hurry up. lt's a photo album. - Just a second.
Oh, Javier.
Oh, my God. This is freshman year!
Tell me when you get to the pictures of me.
- Look what l found! - Your jacket. Where was it?
ln their closet.
You could not have better taste.
- l know. lsn't it great? - lt's mine.
- Really? - We borrowed it.
You told me you didn't have it.
- You don't have sisters, do you? - l have four.
- l have three. - We share everything.
We're not sisters.
Hey, um,
the door was open, so l just...
- Noel. - Oh, my God.
- Hi. - Hi.
You are a dead man.
Okay. Can l talk to you alone?
Yeah, sure.
Javier, l love this. Thank you so much.
ls it the job thing? 'Cause you're totally gonna get one.
- l did. l did. l just got a call. - What?
That's great. Congratulations.
Thank you.
So why do you seem upset?
Uh, because that's, um, that's not why l'm here.
Maybe you should sit down for this.
Noel.
What's going on?
Um...
Hurry up, 'cause now you're freaking me out.
Okay, sorry.
Um...
Tonight when l was walking home, l saw Ben
outside the loft with a woman.
Oh. No, no, that's Lauren.
That's... She's in AA with...
With his dad. Yeah, l know that now, but l didn't then.
- And we got into a fight, an argument. - What?
lt's your birthday.
You know, it's your birthday, and l saw him with this girl,
and l thought that he was...
l thought that he was with her, and l freaked out.
And l told him, uh... l told him about us.
What are you talking about?
l told him that we slept together.
Why would you do that?
lt just came out.
Oh, my God.
l'm sorry. l'm so sorry.
[woman singing] # I love him more than I should
♪ So much more than is good
♪ For me
♪ More than is good
- # Ooooh - Hiya, Dad.
How you doing?
Look, l know this isn't what you really wanted.
Listen to me. l know that.
But the doctor said there's a chance you could get better.
l don't know.
Maybe we could have some time together.
[woman continues singing]