I can't believe my boyfriend just went out and bought a yacht.
Ha! I can't believe I'm best friends with someone who's boyfriend
just went out and bought a yacht.
Welcome, everybody! Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here.
This is gonna be an amazing trip.
So, I just want you guys to, uh, relax, enjoy the open seas,
and all the luxuries on the S.S. Dock Com.
Get it? It's a... It's a play on words.
It's a play on "dot com", but it's a boat, so it's "dock com."
Ooh, what about Yacht Com?
It's... Uh... The boat's already painted, Yolanda!
I never told you this, Alan. But boats make me feel very sexual.
Let's look around for places where we can get naughty on the yachty.
And while we're looking, we can make note
of where they keep all the life jackets.
Uh-huh.
- Could this get any better? - I know, right?
I mean, you're on vacation with your boyfriend,
I'm on vacation with my boyfriend.
It's a work call, babe.
He's defending a huge drug lord, how hot is that?
Hey, uh, Nick. Don't forget, we gotta finish talking about those papers
- I was tellin' you about. - What papers?
Ha! That's a lawyer for you. Just keepin' it confidential.
Ladies, I'll tell you what, why don't you enjoy your drinks,
and Nick and I will finish talkin' about the legal stuff.
Here's a dollar. You're officially my lawyer.
Now you have to keep my secret.
Uh-oh, what'd you do?
Hi, there!
I'm Yolanda.
Is the captain allowed to join me for a glass of champagne?
I wish, but I have your life in my hands.
Oooh, I like a man who's good with his hands.
A wedding band.
Is what I play in on the weekends.
Gotta go rehearse! Bye!
Okay. I'm gonna say it.
Nick... inside this box...
is an engagement ring.
Josh, we barely know each other.
See, that would be funny if I wasn't freaking out,
but I am freaking out, because... I'm proposing to Gabi tonight.
Congratulations, man! I'm... I'm happy for you.
- Thanks! - She's a great girl.
She is a great girl. Do you think she'll say yes?
I think she'll say yes. Do you think she'll say yes?
I would.
Thanks, man. Now, the reason I made you my lawyer is 'cause I need you
to hide this ring. I trust no one on this boat!
Got it.
I need you to put it somewhere Gabi won't find it.
I'll pick it up from you before dinner, and I'll pop the question
beneath a sky full of beautiful fireworks.
Josh, as your friend, I'm so happy for you.
As your lawyer, have you considered a prenup?
It's a big boat.
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com
Two Mai Tais?
And Mai Tai say, it's nice to have some other boys
in the boat like me.
Do you have a Mai Tai for me, too?
No.
I like him. And he winked at me.
I beg to differ. He winked at me.
Wait a second. You don't think he might want...
Both of us?
You mean for like, a...
Yes. Exactly for like a...
It's too bad we'd never do anything like that.
Or would we?
Of course we wouldn't.
That's not the kind of people we are.
Or are we?
Hey! There's my girl!
Hey! Where've you been hiding?
I haven't been hiding anything!
It's just so beautiful out here,
I really wanna enjoy Yacht Com with you.
You know, when you say anything,
it's really cute, but it's... it's Dock Com!
Dock!
Gabi, it's not just the champagne.
All the drinks are free!
Ooh.
Okay, are you ready for the next surprise?
There's more surprises?
All right. Close your eyes.
Just Gabi, Sofia.
Okay. Open 'em.
Hi, Gabi!
Oh my god!
You're Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli,
who beat Judy Joo with the secret ingredient,
mortadella, and you're the executive chef
at Butter restaurant in New York!
Alex Guarnaschelli, I love you, Alex Guarnaschelli!
You can call me Alex.
Alex Guarnaschelli!
Oh! Ooh!
Uh-oh. You made Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli bleed.
Hey, Santiago.
You're not going to jail.
They can't connect you to the missing drug shipments.
Trust me. I'll take care of it.
I'm so sorry I took your chopping hand out of commission.
Well, luckily, my wine glass holding hand is just fine.
All right, so give me the rundown. Where are we?
Okay, the soupe de poisson is simmering,
the buckwheat galette batter is resting,
and the salmon is poaching.
And I hope you don't mind, when you went to get some more wine,
I made a basil garlic rouille to give the soup some kick.
No no, my soupe de poisson is a gentle dish.
An overgarlic-y rouille could decimate it.
You know what? This is delicious.
Balanced, great flavor.
Inspired.
Thank you, Chef.
Gabi, to me there are two kinds of chefs:
There are the kind of chefs that follow orders
and view cooking as a science.
And then there are the ones who are intuitive and cook like it's an art.
I've been working with you all day,
and you're definitely the second one.
And, uh, which one do you like?
The second one, they're much harder to find.
Oh. Well, ya found me.
And I'm not gonna lose you. I wanna mentor you,
and I want you to be the sous-chef
in my new restaurant in Pioneer Square.
Oh my god, are you serious? Wait... Uh, you're not just
saying that because you paired the Pinot with the pain meds?
I wanna mentor you, and I wanna work with you.
Oh my god, I... I'm so excited,
I can't even remember where in San Francisco Pioneer Square is.
It's in Seattle. Is that a problem?
Seattle! Which is in Washington,
which is a different state than the one that San Francisco is in.
No, that's not a problem at all.
- Gabi! - Sofia!
Did you get my text?
I have a huge problem.
Mine's huge-r.
All right, let's go alphabetically.
What? You... You always say that.
Well, "G" comes before "S". I didn't write the alphabet.
Well, I didn't ask for a boyfriend who's a drug smuggler.
What?
I was walking by the porthole of our room, and I saw Nick,
hiding a package in the air vent, and it's gotta be drugs, Gabi,
because it was wrapped in brown paper, and
nothing good is ever wrapped in brown paper.
Except fresh fish, which is what I
would be unwrapping, if I took the job
that Alex Guarnaschelli just offered
me in her new restaurant in Seattle!
- What? - I mean, what am I gonna do?
I have an unbelievable boyfriend,
but this is an unbelievable opportunity.
Well, I can't be a criminal's girlfriend, I mean... You know,
every little girl dreams about it, but...
Do you know what percentage of couples survive
in a long-distance relationship?
No.
Yeah, I was really hopin' you did, but I'm guessin'
it's pretty low.
Why don't you look it up while we break into the air vent?
Okay. Wait a minute. Hey, why are we fixing your problem first?
It's alphabetical. "Breaking into" comes before "moving out of."
Dammit!
That sunset is breathtaking.
As Joseph Conrad said, "There is nothing more mysterious
than the sea itself. She is the mistress of my existence."
Well, doesn't your wife get upset
that you have a mistress?
You mean my late wife.
Yolanda, this is Marilou.
Gone five years today.
I... I'm so sorry.
I'm scattering her ashes on this voyage, along with this.
Time to close that chapter.
Hm, hell yeah, it is.
I mean, how sad it is.
It is, but, uh, I have to say it's a
little less sad with you here, Yolanda.
Now if you excuse me, I have to check the PH balance on the Jacuzzi.
A captain's work is never done.
Hey, Marilou.
You cool with me sharin' the motion of the ocean with your man?
I'm cool!
Oh!
Oh my damn! Oh my damn! Oh, Marilou.
Oh... Oh, I need some ashes.
I know. Time to replace Marilou with Mary Jane.
Maybe that's why they call it the high seas.
Alan! I spoke to Amador, and we were right.
He wants us both and it is on.
Oh god. Now I'm nervous.
Have you had a three-way before?
Tons of times!
Couple of times.
Once. In college.
In camp.
No.
Elliot, to be honest, I'm not even sure how a threesome works.
Well, how complicated can it be?
You have your usual top, and bottom... and really, you're just adding a middle.
Like a bagel!
- Yeah. - Top, bottom, and a schmear.
Who's the schmear?
Why are we having sex and a snack?
Hey, guys.
How about a quick nosh?
Make sure we have enough energy for later.
Captain? How's it goin'?
Mr. Kaminski, I know why you're here.
The PH balance in the Jacuzzi has been restored.
You're a married man, right?
I was. Twenty-five years.
- Happiest time of my life. - That's good to hear.
Okay, so you know the girl I'm with? Gabi?
The one who cut the chef?
Yeah. That's the one.
Well, we've been together for three years, and I love her.
And tonight, I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
That sounds beautiful.
It is! It will be. I hope... so.
I guess I'm just nervous about asking her.
Is that how you felt when you were gonna propose?
You mean, was I nervous? Freaked out?
Totally and completely in love with a woman I knew I didn't deserve,
but prayed would have me anyway?
Thanks, Captain.
Oh my god, if there are drugs in this box,
it could ruin everything with Nick.
I can't open it, you do it.
Okay.
Oh my god, is it heroin?
Smack? Crank? Crack? Crystal? Grams? Jacks? Pops?
Sofia, some of those are cereals.
Okay, it's not crack but it is a rock.
Oh my god. That's an engagement ring.
Wait... Nick's gonna ask me to marry him?
That was so fast, it's only been like five weeks!
Six.
So, what are you saying, are you gonna say yes?
I mean, this could change my entire life.
Ah... I know. I mean, if I was to take that job in Seattle,
it could change my whole life, not to
mention my whole relationship with Josh.
- I'm gonna say yes. - Really?
Yeah! I mean, I can go back and forth forever, but the truth is...
I love him.
And... at a certain point, you just have to take a leap of faith.
How do you know? I mean, how do you know it's not gonna go bad?
Well, that's the faith part.
Gotta hope you're doing the right thing.
Oh my god, Sofia, you're getting married!
I'm getting married!
Oh my god, the ring!
Oh my god!
Sofia!
Gabi, you saved my life, I mean, you didn't even think to yourself,
Like, what if something bad happened, you just went for it.
What was there to think about? You're my best friend.
I... I took a leap of faith.
- Listen, Gabi... - Josh...
No, I almost lost you, and I'm not waiting another second.
Alex Guarnaschelli asked me to be a sous-chef at her new restaurant.
And she wants to be my mentor,
- but... - But... what?
But it's in Seattle.
And...
How can you say no?
It's your dream.
Wow, Nick. You really went all out.
What?
Um... I found the ring,
in the air vent, and then, again in the ocean,
and um... the answer is yes.
I will marry you.
Oh, uh, actually...
Actually, congratulations, man.
Oh... So romantic.
Yeah.
- Yolanda! - Uh... What's happenin', Captain?
We're headed to San Francisco.
Mr. Kaminski made me turn the boat around.
Which means I'll have to scatter Marilou's
ashes a little earlier than planned.
No! No. I mean, I'm... I'm feelin' so, uh, empty.
And it's makin' me woozy. Oh... Hold me!
Ah... Oh, yeah. It's just...
I was overcome with emotion.
Ahh... But I'm good now.
Ah... You can go ahead and dump her.
Aah! I got bars! I got bars!
Okay, we gotta call my mom and tell her the news.
-Um... -Hey, um, have you guys seen Josh?
I mean the Yacht Com isn't that big.
Hi, Mom, it's Sofia.
- Okay, um, Nick and I are getting... - Ahp...
You hung up. Why'd you hang up?
I'm sorry, I can't take it anymore. I have to tell you something.
Sofia, that ring wasn't meant for you.
What? What do you mean? Like...
Like this is a temporary one, and the real one's
being sized or something?
I wasn't gonna propose. That was Josh's ring for Gabi.
What?
Yeah. I hid it for Josh in the air vent.
So... this ring wasn't meant for me?
It was meant for you!
It wasn't meant for you, it was meant for me?
Oh my god! Josh was gonna ask me to marry him...
What are you talking about?
Josh had the whole thing planned, the... the dinner, the fireworks.
Oh my god... Oh my god! Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?
- Hey, have you seen Josh? - He left right when we docked.
Oh my god.
Sofia, I... I... I feel horrible, I... I'm mortified.
No, I'm mortified that I said yes.
I mean, we've only been dating for like five weeks.
Six.
It's the best six weeks of my life.
Mine too.
So, um... you wanna go have "I can't believe
you didn't ask me to marry you" sex?
I do.
Did you really have to use those two words?
You were gonna propose?
- Gabi... - How could you not tell me?
How could you not tell me that those fireworks for me,
that this ring was for me?
How could I tell you?
You told me you were moving to Seattle.
But I... I... I didn't know you were gonna propose.
Well, I'm glad you didn't know, because you gave me an honest reaction.
When I saw them pullin' you out of the water,
the only thing I could think was, please God, just let her be okay.
- Josh... - And then you opened your eyes,
and I knew in that very moment I would never ask for anything again,
because the girl who means everything to me... she was okay.
And now that I had her, I was never gonna let her go.
Then I said I was going away.
Which killed me the most, because Gabi, when you told me
you were leaving to become a chef, your face lit up.
It lit up the exact same way it did the
first day you came to work for me.
Do you remember that?
W- We were having dinner,
and you told me about Julia Child... and your mom,
and your hopes and... and your dreams.
Yeah, of course I remember.
Well, Gabi, now that you have a shot at making those dreams happen...
I'm not gonna be the one to stand in your way.
Well, then, I'm gonna stand in my way.
Because you're forgetting what else happened that night.
That was the night that we fell for each other.
So that means that my dream includes you and Julia Child.
So you know what? I... I'm not gonna take
this job in Seattle, I'm not gonna go,
- I'm gonna stay here with you. - No, G... No! No! No!
What do you mean, no, no, no?
Gabi, I'm not proposing.
You can't not propose, you were gonna propose, you can't un-propose!
But I haven't proposed in the first place,
so there can't be an un-proposal!
Josh...
Gabi, if the girl I met that night stays here
and doesn't chase her dream...
she's gonna regret it for the rest of her life.
Well, that girl's dream has changed.
No, it hasn't.
Don't tell me what that girl's dream is.
I know that girl.
And yeah, her dream is to be a chef, but
part of that dream is to be with you.
Josh, these last three years have been the best years of my life.
And I'm not gonna let that go.
When Sofia and I were on that yacht, we started talking about
taking a leap of faith, and I think I'm gonna do that right now.
Gabi, what are you doing?
Josh?
I love you. And I have to take this job for myself,
but I don't wanna do it without you.
Will you marry me and come with me to Seattle?
Damn, look at all these stars.
I could stare at them all night.
I could stare at you all night.
Why don't I grab us a bottle of champagne
and I'll meet you in my quarters?
Coming from the bow, second on the left, starboard side.
Second door from the left bow, on the Star Trek side.
Ooh, I'm finally gonna get to see the captain's dinghy.
Okay, Amador will be here any second.
We are not getting off this boat without having a threesome.
I'm so nervous.
Maybe I should turn off the lights.
Good idea. Let the moonlight set the mood.
Here comes the schmear.
He's so much bigger than I remember.
Ooh, so musky.
Like a wildebeest.
Mmmm...
That's it, yeah.
Yeah!
Okay. I can do a four-gy.
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com