Previously on "I Am Jazz"...
- Happy birthday! - Oh, my god.
This is too much!
I have to say, we did a pretty good job for Jazz's sweet 16.
Jazz was so happy, and there are so many times that she's not.
My mom thinks I have social anxiety.
I think she needs to go to therapy.
You think some random individual who doesn't even know
who I am internally will have the answers to my questions?
No!
Have you ever heard of dating in the dark?
Like, legit where people date in the dark?
They won't even really know who you are
apart from a name and a voice.
- There's nothing to lose. - Okay.
This is, like, the only time you'll her Jazz saying
that she's willing to go on a fricking date.
16 years ago, I was assigned male at birth,
but inside, I always knew I was a girl.
I have a girl brain and a boy body.
Being transgender hasn't been easy.
This is definitely not a straightforward case.
I don't think you have many options for a vaginoplasty.
- I had a lot of fun. - I had a great time.
- Have a great day. - That sounds like a date.
It's not a date!
But it's made me who I am.
I am Jazz.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com
- Hey, Jazz. - Hey.
- Hello. - Here's my new kitty!
He's being crazy. Lookit. He just dives in the air.
I invited Jay, Tayack, and Noelle to do makeovers today.
And when it comes to doing makeup,
I actually am starting to enjoy doing it
on other people if I just practice more.
So, Noelle, you're my test subject.
So, what is primer?
You put it on your face, and basically,
it holds your makeup once you put it on later.
- I'm so sorry. - It's okay.
I don't even know what I'm doing to you.
Looks like peanut butter.
That's what was on your face.
Are you excited about dating in the dark?
What's dating in the dark?
We are going to a place where you have meals in the dark,
and for each course of a meal,
you're going to date one person, and they're not going to be able
to see who you are or what you look like.
They're only going to know your voice and your name.
That sounds fun and mysterious.
You know, I'm just trying to have fun.
I haven't gone on a date in awhile,
and then I feel like it will also be good for, like, Jazz.
I hope that through dating in the dark,
Jazz will come out with less anxieties she has about dating,
and this will open up her social circle
so that she can get over the fears
she has about interacting with people.
I don't really date normally.
- She says it's pressure. - Well, like, there is pressure,
'cause all your friends are like,
"oh, you guys are going to be lovers forever and ever."
And you're like, "but I haven't even met the person yet."
Sometimes, I don't like dating because I feel like there
is this pressure to already like this person
because you feel like you're being set up,
but I agreed to do dating in the dark
because you don't even know who the person is,
and if you don't like them, you can be awkward,
because you're never going to see them again.
Are you guys going to tell the people
that you're talking to that you're transgender or not?
It just depends. I mean, I don't necessarily think
you have to first thing,
because I feel like, if they get to know me
and then I add at the end, you know, "I'm also transgender.
I think you should know that,"
then their judgment isn't clouded
from the beginning, you know?
Dating in the dark is really cool
because someone could get to know me for my inner qualities
rather than my physical characteristics.
I'm not Jazz, the transgender girl, anymore.
I'm just Jazz.
And that's probably going to be, like, the first words
to come out of my mouth.
Like, I don't think I really have a choice.
Unlike Jazz, my voice is a challenge
that I've had to go through
because I went through male puberty before transitioning.
So I'm going to tell all the guys that I date
that I'm a trans girl
just because my voice is either going to give it away
or freak them out.
So, Jazz, are you excited for pride?
Yes. I am excited for pride. I love pride.
You don't even understand.
Orlando Pride is a huge parade and festival
where the LGBTQ community unites,
and we all march together, hand in hand,
with our beautiful colors,
the rainbow, and, you know, we just be ourselves.
This is my first pride, so I'm pretty excited
just to see how it turns out.
Really? This is your first pride?
Mm-hmm. I was always too...
Like, a little scared to go to prides
just because there were so many things happening and, like...
- Like the shooting in Orlando? - Yeah.
There was the Pulse shooting, and I was just too scared to go.
It was pretty horrific. It was scary.
I know a lot of members in the community feared
for their own safety because they're like, "yeah.
People will go to extreme measures
in order to eradicate minorities,"
and it's just awful.
Tragic events like the Pulse shooting give me more motivation
to attend events like Orlando Pride
because we have to show that we still have a voice,
and we represent this group of people
in our society who exist.
We should be really proud of, you know,
what we've accomplished
as individuals and as a community.
Yep.
Meet my new friend.
You look beautiful, Noelle.
- Seriously, you're so bad. - Like, this was going so good.
I think that you guys should go to dating in the dark like this.
I am so far ahead of you in the makeup game.
It's not even funny.
Hello!
So how was your makeover?
You don't look made over.
I didn't get my makeup done. I did Noelle's makeup instead.
I went crazy on Noelle's face.
Um, I wanted to tell you about something, actually.
Noelle invited me to something
called dating in the dark.
It's like speed dating.
And you said, "no," because that's something
that Jazz would never do.
Um, no. I actually said yes.
I'm definitely surprised that Jazz wants
to do dating in the dark.
If I brought something like that up to her, she'd be like, "no."
So this is pretty shocking.
Why would you say yes, when, the last time
you went out on a date, you, like,
felt awkward and weird and uncomfortable?
Because it's in the dark, so, like,
they're not going to judge me for my appearance.
They're going to like me for my personality.
And you eat, too. Anything with food? Mm-hmm.
Are you going to say like, "hey. Hi. I'm Jazz.
I'm a transgender girl," or...
I'm not going to tell them my name.
Oh, you won't even do a name?
It's, like, anonymous?
I'm going to be super anonymous until...
Bachelor number one, bachelor number two?
Yeah, until you meet them in the light, I guess.
You choose the ones that you want to meet
if you have a connection with them,
and then, in the light, you could give them
more information, like your name, everything,
and then, you know,
maybe I'll tell them I'm transgender.
Like, you don't think... I don't have to tell them first thing?
No. No, no, no.
We have a rule that anybody she goes on a date with
needs to know she's trans
before they go anywhere or do anything.
But with dating in the dark,
Jazz can kind of cloak herself in the dark there
and be anonymous, and you know what?
That's kind of a cool thing for her.
So I think, if she doesn't want to let the person know
until the end of the date, it's okay.
I'm excited, though. I wish that I could do it,
but I'm married, so that's not going to happen.
But it's exciting.
You're going to date in the dark.
Okay. Don't get too excited.
Just make sure you brush your teeth.
You don't want bad breath in the dark.
Oh, shush.
Look at all this food.
Yeah, so much for cutting back on calories.
- All right. Thank you. - Thank you.
- Appreciate it. - My pleasure.
I'm sitting here in what I think of
as the kids' favorite pizza restaurant.
It was great seeing the kids at lips, but it was too brief.
- Yeah. - I'm excited.
We're going to see them this weekend.
We have a lot going on right now.
You know, it's good for me to keep busy like this,
so I'm not at home, mourning the fact
that my kids are not in their rooms,
but at least I get to see them this weekend before pride.
Yay! Happy, happy, joy, joy.
Well, I'm happy.
- Yeah? Why are you happy? - Yeah.
Because Jazz wants to go
to this thing called dating in the dark.
I'm like, "what are we even talking about?"
She has reservations about going on dates anyway.
Why would you want to go on a date
when you have no idea who you're about to go on a date with?
She's not interested in dating in the light, so...
How do they exactly get introduced?
I mean, is there, like...
Do you just go into a room initially?
Mm-hmm.
When Jazz has gone on a date
or some type of social event in the past,
the results haven't been great.
So is it completely pitch black?
Pitch black. She was really gung-ho on this.
I think that will be a cool... It's a cool idea.
- Yeah. - It's kind of funny.
It's kind of like "the dating game"
when we were growing up.
Jazz is so big on the content of the character,
and if you think about it,
I guess that's what makes it make sense.
She'll be able to sit there,
not have any judgment about what they look like,
and then she'll just know whether or not she likes them
just based on how they converse.
So, I talked to one of the people at pride.
We're going to be on a float with Jazz
with one of the survivors from the Pulse nightclub shooting.
That's an honor. Obviously,
the Pulse event was such a tragic event.
Yeah.
The Pulse shooting was one of the most horrific
events in American history.
For people who are just waking up,
let me tell you what we know.
This is a shooting that happened at Pulse Orlando.
It's a gay nightclub in downtown Orlando,
the heart of the city.
It is with great sadness that I share we have not 20
but 50 casualties in addition to the shooter.
There are another 53 that are hospitalized.
This is the first pride parade in Orlando
since the Pulse nightclub tragedy,
and we really feel like it's important
for our family to be there.
Have you talked to the folks that coordinate security?
Mm-hmm. Because of Pulse,
the whole police force is in on this.
It couldn't be more secure.
Okay.
Hopefully, Jazz won't get too overwhelmed,
but you know how she gets in large crowds.
- Mm-hmm. - And people will be coming up
to her like, "oh, my god!"
Jazz, in many ways, is very... I wouldn't say private
because she doesn't care what people know about her.
She likes her privacy, and especially at a pride parade,
a lot of people know who she is, and they come up to her,
and that's something that gives her social anxiety,
and it's hard.
We'll have to find space. That's all I can say is,
if it looks like she's getting overwhelmed,
got to create the space.
♪ dating in the dark ♪
I don't even know how I feel.
I don't even know what to expect, honestly.
I would be more nervous about the food, like,
I don't like putting things in my mouth that I can't see.
I know, and I'm wearing white.
So how are you girls feeling about this?
I wasn't even nervous until, like, right now.
- Really? - Yeah, 'cause, like,
I'm going to have to be like,
"hey. I'm trans," but I'm going to have to do it in a way
that doesn't, like, seem forceful.
Mm-hmm. Well, if it comes up in the conversation.
It's going to come up, 'cause the guys
will most likely be confused
why there's another guy at the table.
I really hope that people will accept me for who I am.
The worst thing that can happen is that they reject me
when they hear my voice right at the beginning of the date.
I think the part that makes me nervous is the selection.
What if, like, no one chooses me?
It's just like... It would be lame.
It's kind of a little bit scary because I want them
to get to know me for my personality
and not judge me by anything else.
So if I am rejected, it would mean that they didn't like me
for who I am as an individual.
_
- Hello. - Hi.
- Hey, guys. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
- I'm Jazz. - I'm Julia.
This is weird, right?
- Yeah. - Hello, ladies.
- Hi. - Welcome to dating in the dark,
a unique twist on speed dating where you get to know somebody
before you actually get to see them.
At dating in the dark, there are four courses,
and you talk to a different guy
at each course, and then, afterwards,
the girls choose who they want to meet in the light,
and then the guys, in a separate room,
choose who they want to meet in the light.
And if it's a mutual connection,
then you get to meet them in the light.
- Ready to get started? - Yeah.
- All right. - Oh, boy.
I'm going to turn off the lights here.
- Oh, no. Here it goes, guys. - Oh, my god.
- Oh, my gosh. - Oh, there we go.
When the lights turn off, it becomes really... real.
Oh, that is fun.
It is dark.
I'm not going to lie to you. You're so annoying.
But it's so great, though.
It's so great to be annoying.
Dating in the dark has been an interesting night.
You know, you're just kind of being rude.
I would say that in the light every day.
_
- Ready to get started? - Yeah.
All right. You can feel for the chair.
Wait. I think people entered the room.
There you go.
In the dark, I'm not going to tell the person
that I'm transgender
because, if I'm not interested in them,
then they don't need to more about me.
It doesn't even matter.
If I like them and I want to meet them in the light,
then I have to consider whether I should tell them or not.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hey. How you doing?
Nice to meet you. Do you have a hand?
Yes. Wait.
Okay. Um...
This room is pitch black.
I honestly just cannot see anything.
Hopefully there's not any ghosts in here because, otherwise,
this is going to be "Paranormal Activity."
- Hello, there. - Hello.
- It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
I'd shake your hand right now,
but I'm not entirely sure where my hands are positioned.
Yeah. So tell me a little about yourself.
Like, what do you want to do in the future, like, career path?
I will answer those questions, but...
I was actually, like, a little nervous for this.
Um, I am transgender.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but, like, I don't want my voice
- to freak you out or anything. - _
His reaction to me telling him I'm trans
is honestly, like, a weight lifted off my chest.
It gives me hope that more people will be accepting of me.
So, how old are you?
Well, I'm going to be 19 in 2 months.
So have you graduated high school?
Nope. I actually did not.
- Really? - No.
So do you go to school online?
Nope. Not... not even.
So what's your, like, favorite hobby?
Well, I actually don't really have a hobby.
This guy really isn't trying to start up any conversation,
and the fact that he hasn't even graduated high school,
I think that's a little bit of a turnoff for me.
Okay. Everyone, I'm going to reposition the gentlemen.
Ladies, you're going to stay right where you're at.
Oh, my god. Hello.
Meeting so many people at one time, it's crazy.
- Yeah. - So what's up?
- You having a good time? - Yeah.
Nice.
Is there anything, like,
you enjoy the most, like, you like to do?
I mean, I like to play soccer for my school.
- Soccer? - Yeah.
Is that hard? Like, I tried doing it for a little bit,
but, like, all they made me do is goalie
- 'cause I couldn't kick it right. - Oh, for real?
Yeah.
When you are looking for someone to date, what do you look for?
I like people that are, you know, sincere, you know, funny.
- What about you? - I like nerds.
- You like nerds? - Are you a nerd?
No, I'm far away from a nerd.
All right. That concludes this course.
- Hello, new person. What's up? - Yes. Hi.
Are you having a good time, or is this...
You asked me, "what's up?" And I'm going to explain that.
So, "what's up?" Is the vast abyss
of non-existence.
Wait, what?
Yeah, right?
Are you sure you're not Noelle?
This guy is saying things that Noelle would say.
He definitely is a little bit out there.
I am an alien.
All right.
So what's your ambition in life?
My ambition is life.
It's that simple but that complicated.
So, okay. For real, though,
like, what do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to be... me.
- Dude, you're so annoying. - I am.
I'm so... I know. I know.
I'm not going to lie to you. You're so annoying.
But it's so great, though.
It's so great to be annoying.
You just sound so arrogant to me.
I don't like to be rude to people,
but, I mean, like, if you're trying to get to know someone,
you want to be nice and respectful.
You don't want to just be like, "I'm an alien,"
and, like, whatever. For some people,
they take this seriously, you know?
We want to find love and whatever,
and, you know, you're just kind of being rude.
- Like... - I would say that in the light
every day, not just the dark.
All right. The next course will be in just a moment.
So far, dating in the dark has been an interesting night.
I haven't made a connection at all,
so, honestly, I don't have my expectations set too high.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hello. Nice to meet you.
- How's everything? - Good.
This is very interesting, right?
This is a very interesting environment.
Ooh, you have a cool voice. It's, like, raspy right?
Thank you so much.
So you're in high school, right?
- Yeah. - What grade are you in?
Sophomore. What about you?
Oh, I'm a sophomore, too. Cool.
- Really? - Yeah.
- That's awesome. - I'm 16.
- Same! - Nice!
So are you, like, looking for a relationship or not really?
Um, I am,
- but I'm scared... - Okay.
...because the last "thing" I had, I guess you could say,
the girl that I was with,
she played me, basically.
But at the end of the day, I realized
you can't think that everyone's like that.
- Yeah. - You know? I have to just
go with the flow and see what happens.
- That's what I'm doing. - Yeah.
Oh, that's what I always say,
"go with the flow and just see what happens."
Mm-hmm.
The best thing about talking to this guy in the dark
is how easy the conversation flowed.
I feel like it wasn't awkward at all,
and he had really good opinions on things.
Can you prove anything other than the fact you're self-aware?
How do you know anything is real?
You... well, the only way to know
that if anything is real is to know what is fake.
Like, what is life?
Like, seriously.
- That's something I'd ask. I... - Really?
Yeah.
It's exciting knowing that dating in the dark
is going a lot easier than I thought it was,
and I'm really hoping that I can meet
with this guy outside the room.
Ooh, what is this?
I really couldn't tell you.
We've been talking about so many deep things,
but, like, is there anything, like, on a lighter note
that you want to share?
- Um, I have a cat. - Me, too.
Do you like animals a lot?
I love animals. Cats are the best.
I just got a new kitten,
so I have four now.
You have four cats?
Four cats, yes.
You're so lucky! I have one. His name's Simon.
- He's my baby. - Oh, little kitty!
- And I love him so much. - I love kitties!
Okay, good. I'm glad you like cats.
Okay, everyone.
This concludes the dating in the dark.
We're going to take the gentlemen out of the room,
and then the lights are going to come up.
- It was nice talking to you. - Nice to talk to you, too.
This guy and I seem to have a lot in common.
He was the only one who I feel like
I made a real, true connection with,
and he seems like a really cool person.
I'm amazed about how little I spilled.
At one point, though, I did use my phone as a napkin
without realizing it.
- Get out. - Wait.
- That's so funny. - Did you guys think...
Some of them were pretty arrogant, I thought.
- Didn't you? - Yeah.
- One of them... - I liked Philosophy Guy.
Oh, I had him. I told him off.
And then... wait. Who else was there?
There was the guy with the raspy voice.
I thought he was nice.
All right, ladies. Moment of truth.
We've spoken to all the gentlemen.
If you made a connection with the same person
that made a connection with you,
then you will get to meet them in the light.
I'm hoping to meet the guy with the raspy voice in the light
because we clearly made a connection,
and I think that something could work out between us.
But he has to choose me back
in order for me to meet him in the light.
So who knows what's going to happen?
We'll just have to wait and see.
_
All right, ladies. Moment of truth.
If you'd like to, stand up and join me.
- Thank you. - You are very welcome.
- Noelle, I have some good news. - Yes?
Your connection also made a connection with you.
Are you ready to meet him?
- I'm ready as I'll ever be. - All right. Let's do this.
I chose to meet with Philosophy Guy
because he's passionate about what he speaks about,
and I really do hope that he will like me once he sees me.
All right, Noelle, here is your connection.
- Hi. - It's nice to meet you again.
- Nice to meet you. - I'm Noelle.
I'm Gavin.
I'm sorry. I'm actually a little bit more nervous right now...
- Yeah. - ...than I was in there.
I didn't think anyone would have the mutual connection with me.
We finished on a really good conversation.
- We talked about philosophy. - We did, a lot.
- Um... - It was really cool.
- Um... - Yeah.
I was wondering,
would you want to do something like this again,
like a normal date, you know, in the light?
I can't say I'd...
Like, to be, like, genuine,
I can't say that I would like to take it to another date,
but I'd really like to get to know you more.
It did hurt a little when Gavin did reject me
just because it's still someone
rejecting your personality or your identity.
- Can I give you a hug? - Of course.
Coming out of this, I do, however,
think I learned more about myself in total,
and I'm not going to be crushed by his decision.
All right, Jazz. Here is the connection that you made.
- Hello! - Hey.
- Shane, that'd be me. - Yes, raspy voice dude.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Did you enjoy that? - It was a lot of fun, honestly.
It was really cool,
- and the food was good, too. - The food was great.
Oh, my god. What was your favorite, like, course,
food-wise?
I know I'm a nutrition guy.
- But dessert? - But the cookie was so good.
- Oh, my god. Yes. - I was eating the cookie,
I'm like, "goodbye, six-pack," as I'm eating it,
but it was really good.
I wasn't expecting to make
a legitimate connection with someone,
so I'm nervous about how he's going to react
when I tell him I'm transgender.
So, I feel like I want to tell you something.
I'm transgender, which means I was born biologically male,
but I've always been a girl,
and I expressed that to my family,
and they supported me for who I am.
That's an incredible story, and you're awesome.
Like, you're the person you are today.
You blossomed to be someone awesome.
- Thank you. - That rhymed.
Blossomed to be someone awesome.
Yeah, that's true.
She is awesome. She's so sweet.
She's a very pretty girl.
The connection I made wasn't with the look of the girl.
It was with the girl in the dark,
and I got the same person in the light.
- So, it was great to meet you. - It was great to meet you, too.
Actually, I was wondering, do you mind if I get your number?
- Sure! Of course! - Thanks.
I think its the first time in my entire life
that a guy has asked for my number,
so I'm really excited,
and I'm hoping that he texts me.
- Let me give you a hug. - Yay!
Dating in the dark was actually surprisingly fun,
and maybe a relationship could work out between us.
Ugh.
- Hello. - Hi, girls.
It's the datees, the daters.
So, tell me everything.
Like, all the guys were nice, but when the lights were on,
I sat down with one of the guys.
- Oh, okay. - And, you know, he told me
up-front, like, "no. I don't want to go on a date with you."
He's like, "but we can be friends."
But, like, I didn't know what to say,
because, you know, it was awkward.
- Yeah. - But I appreciated
how nice he was.
It makes me feel really bad that Noelle got rejected,
because she really is a great person,
and I love her as a friend,
and I hope it wasn't because of her being transgender.
Maybe you'll just hang out as friends.
It sounds like you have some stuff in common.
Yeah.
But one of them did like Jazz.
So, I met Shane in the light, and he was very sweet.
He was saying how he just wants to go with the flow in life,
and I was saying the same thing,
so we have a lot of the same morals.
And I told him that I was transgender.
And how did he react to that?
He asked for my number.
- What? What? - Yeah, so I gave him it.
A cis boy asked for your number?!
If he were to call you and be like, "hey.
You want to hang out?" Would you say yes?
Maybe. Yeah, I would go.
I think that this dating in the dark thing
is a very positive turn for Jazz.
You know, she needs to have a normal kind
of high school experience where she dates a little.
And that's a great thing to have a guy that likes you.
Well, I'm happy for you guys.
Sounds like you had fun if anything.
Bucket list? Check.
- What's up? - Hello.
Hanging out with my brother's friends,
it's kind of nerve-racking.
When I think of, like, fraternities and sororities,
I don't think of, like, the most open-minded people.
I think it's going to be a lot harder for you
than it is a normal girl to walk into a party.
You must be so excited about seeing the kids.
I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with them
because, like, when we got to see them at lips,
like, they came.
We saw a show, and then they left.
It was a tease.
My parents, Noelle and I are on our way
to the Orlando Pride parade,
and we're visiting Gainesville to see my brothers
and my sister along the way.
It's the University of Florida.
I'm going to try not to cry,
'cause it's awful when I get like that.
I hate it. Like, what's wrong with me?
Yeah. You're going to have to say hello,
which is going to make you cry.
And then, when you got to say goodbye,
is that going to make you cry?
Yes.
_
Hey.
She's already crying.
You're like a faucet. The minute we walked in there...
I don't know. I just, you know... I miss them.
You're so skinny. It's, like, freaking me out.
How much weight did you lose?
I lost 10 pounds, I think.
Everybody gains weight in college.
I sent two boys off to college.
They were, you know, getting beefy and full,
and I'm like, "what happened to you?"
They're skinny. I don't know
if they're taking care of themselves.
They've looked better.
- You need to eat. - You want to feed us?
- Yeah. - All right.
Let's go get some food.
_
Mom, you should come up every weekend and feed me.
I was going to bring you chicken noodle soup,
but Dad and I have been so busy
getting everybody ready for the pride parade.
- Wait. It's in Orlando, right? - Yeah.
That's actually very fitting for it to be there.
- Yeah. - It's very disappointing
that Sander and I can't attend the pride parade
with Jazz and my parents
because of pledging and schoolwork,
but I'm sure they're going to have an amazing time
and represent our family well there.
How's high school?
I have a lot going on.
I've had three consultations about my bottom surgery.
- Cool. - Did you guys know about that?
- Keep going. - So, we went
to three different doctors.
The first one had not had any experience
working with someone who is suppressed.
In fact, he didn't really even know what blockers were,
so that was kind of, like, "oh, okay.
Maybe I shouldn't go to you."
And then, the second doctor said I could put testosterone cream
that he's used for female-to-male transgender people
and put it right on my... area.
Obviously, I've anticipated conversations like this.
I just try to forget that they're ever going to happen.
And then we went to the third doctor.
He said colon-vaginoplasty.
Colon? Where's your colon?
I'm like, "boy, how are you in college right now?"
So for 8 months, my vagina would smell.
- Oh, that's gross. - It is gross.
No, that's not true.
Also, it produces mucus, so it's a natural lubricant.
No lube necessary.
- Yay. - No, now you're starting
to make me not want to eat.
Even if my brothers would prefer to not hear
about my future vagina, it doesn't matter
'cause they're going to hear about it anyway.
She is a new part of the family, basically,
and they have to be introduced to her.
So, you made a lot of new friends?
Oh, yeah. Right now, our pledge class
has 46 kids, so I have 46 brothers.
Like, if you're not part of a fraternity or sorority,
is it possible to, like, have a social life...
- Yeah. - ...and be studious?
Honestly, like, as a girl you don't really have to be
in a sorority to be social.
It just lets you meet more guys when you're in a sorority.
Sorority life does not interest me at all.
Why? Too much social stuff?
Yes.
I don't think I want to be in a sorority.
I am not a social butterfly like my siblings.
For me, it's just, I prefer to be more in a relaxed setting
where it's just maybe one or two friends
rather than hanging out with 40 sorority sisters.
That's just too much.
We might have to work on getting Jazz to be a little more social.
You don't want to just be alone all the time.
For sure.
Even though dating in the dark was successful,
that doesn't mean her social anxiety is cured.
Unfortunately, being around a lot of people
is still extremely overwhelming for her.
Later, when we invite all of our friends over,
I definitely want you to meet some of our pledge brothers.
Like, these kids are going to be our best friends
for probably the rest of our lives.
We want you to meet them, make some new friends.
I guess I'm going to have to do it,
but hanging out with my brothers' friends,
it's kind of a little bit nerve-racking.
I don't really like being around a large group of people.
It just gives me so much anxiety.
This is the elevator. We're going up to floor six.
So, are these mostly your frat friends,
or are these just general... a mix?
It's kind of a general mix.
Knock? You just walk in?
What's up?
- Hello. - Hey.
- Aubrey. - Come sit. Come join us.
It's nice to meet you. I'm Noelle.
I think I'm much more open to meeting new people
and experiencing the college life than Jazz,
just because I feel like she has much more anxieties than I do.
I'm glad I can be here,
because I'm thinking about joining a sorority
when I go to college.
I feel like it's the final step in truly being a girl,
just being admitted into sisterhood.
What do you guys normally do here when you're not partying?
When you're not partying, you're normally studying.
It's really not a party every night.
Like, I maybe go out two, three times a week, maybe.
When I was a freshman, I went out a lot.
My roommate had to move out on me.
Jazz, we need to take you to an actual college party once.
That would be fun.
No.
That's not my thing.
You don't understand. College, like,
that's how you become friends with people.
I don't care that my brother calls me out.
It's just that they know I have social anxiety
around a large group of people,
and I wish that everyone could just respect that.
Jazz, would you want to rush?
I don't know if I would want to rush, honestly.
I'm going to be completely honest.
When I think of, like, fraternities and sororities,
I don't usually think of, like, the most liberal,
open-minded people.
- Mm-hmm. - And, like, in high school,
I already have a hard time meeting new people
because I'll speak in my voice, and...
I understand what you're thinking. I do get it.
I do think its going to be a lot harder for you
than it is a normal girl to walk into a party.
I know, like, me personally, obviously, I'd let you in,
but it is going to be more difficult for you.
But, like, where you're meant to be, if you do rush, like,
you will end up, like, where you're supposed to be.
And they will accept you for who you are.
But, like, would your sorority accept a trans girl?
Um, I do not speak for, like, my sorority as a whole,
but, like, they're very, very sweet.
The group doesn't put my mind at ease at all,
because they all but outright said that,
"a lot of people won't accept you."
I know that, for the most part,
college kids are really open-minded and accepting,
but not everyone in the world is ready for girls like us.
I think that's the float right there.
We are going to be on this float
with a survivor of the Pulse nightclub shooting.
To see his bullet wounds, I just got angry,
like, "why do things like this happen?"
_
Whoo!
We're at Pride Orlando.
We're off to see the pride parade.
Oh, my god. I feel... this is too "wizard of oz" right now.
This pride event is much more meaningful
because this tragic event
towards the LGBTQ community occurred here,
so seeing all of these people coming together,
it's just so amazing.
I feel like we're meeting people
on the yellow or red brick road here.
I'm so excited for today, because I'm meeting up
with all of my friends... Skylar, her mom,
Noelle and her mom...
- Come join the party. - How are you guys?
I love this.
...and Raymond Braun, the true living rainbow.
- Hi! - Oh!
- Happy pride! - It's the rainbow.
I brought the rainbow for you. You look so good.
- Ah! - I love these.
Functions like pride festivals
give me a little bit of anxiety sometimes
because it's such a large crowd,
so I'm grateful to have my friends and my family with me.
_
- Thank you. - _
- Thank you. Thank you. - _
Thanks.
When we are at events like pride,
which is an LGBTQ community event,
Jazz is pretty well-known.
_
Hi.
I can't say exactly how many,
but I would say the vast majority of people there
are going to recognize her.
_
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
_
That's very kind.
_
Thank you.
Knowing that Jazz has affected so many people in a positive way
just gives me enormous pride.
I can't describe it in words.
- _ - Awesome.
- Thank you. - Nice to meet you.
All right. Let's keep going.
She would like a photo with you, Jazz.
Hi, Jazz.
Thanks!
Get together. One, two, three, smile.
Aww, cute!
This is crazy.
I don't know if I like...
I don't like these type of situations.
Yeah.
When I'm in large crowds like these,
people start to recognize me.
They say, "hi," and it's really sweet.
They're all saying amazing things,
but then my social anxiety begins to build up.
- Awesome. - Awesome.
- Thank you. - No problem.
Jazz still does these large events
because she really wants to share her message.
She wants to make a difference,
but she's going against
what she's comfortable with, really.
Sometimes, this personality that she has
of wanting to be alone
is conflicting with the fact
that she wants to help other people in her advocacy work.
So for my thesis, I wrote a six-page paper about you.
- That's crazy. That's awesome. - Yeah, and I was wondering,
can just take a quick picture with you?
- Yes, of course. - Do you want me to take it?
- That'd be great. - Sure.
Jazz puts on a happy face,
because, when people look up to you,
you don't want to be rude to them,
but it's very easy to tell when Jazz gets overwhelmed.
She basically just shuts down.
Once, you know, a lot of attention
has been steered towards my direction,
it does become overwhelming, because I get this anxiety.
It's just hard when you're being stopped and approached
and that kind of thing all the time?
I guess so.
You appreciate what the person says,
and you appreciate that you can positively affect them,
but, I don't know.
I feel guilty, because I want to hear them.
I want to thank them, but it's just so overwhelming,
so I have to go away, get a little bit of a breather,
and get myself motivated to be in this parade.
I think that's the float right there.
- Okay. - Hello.
Nice to see you guys. I'm Sheralyn with Merit.
Thank you guys so much for being with us today.
I wanted to introduce you to Christopher.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi.
We are going to be on this float together with Chris,
who is a survivor of the Pulse nightclub shooting,
and I'm so honored to meet him.
I remember hearing on the news, and I just couldn't believe...
- Mm-hmm. - ...that this is going on
in our country.
_
So did you get injured during...
Yes.
_
- Oh, wow. - Oh, my goodness.
_
As a mom, it was so hard
to hear about what happened.
I was holding back my tears,
and then, to see his bullet wounds,
I just got almost, like, angry,
like, "why do things like this have to happen?"
_
Oh, you were able to run out?
_
Like, I'm glad that you're here, that you get to see all of this.
Yeah. Thank you.
I can't imagine what it was like to be in Chris' situation.
The fact that he had to use whatever adrenaline
was left in him and get up after being shot
and run to the exit, that's insane,
and I don't know if I would be able to do the same thing.
How long were you in the hospital for?
_
You're very lucky to have made it and be here today
and pay respects to all those who lost their lives.
Did you have any good friends that were with you?
_
I'm sorry.
_
That's so courageous.
_
Yeah.
_
Well, I'm really glad to be here with you...
- Thank you. - ...'cause I think you're just
- really incredible. - Thank you.
Jazz was a little off, and I think meeting Chris
was absolutely what Jazz needed at that time
because, when she heard his story,
I think it all clicked,
and it put things in perspective.
Being surrounded by all of this loving and positive energy
is just so moving.
In light of the tragic events
like the Pulse nightclub shooting,
it's so important for the LGBTQ community
to have events like this parade,
because it allows us to come together
and realize that we are not alone.
♪ Everybody's got a pain inside ♪
♪ Imaginary wounds they fight to hide ♪
♪ How can I hate them ♪
♪ When everybody's got a pulse? ♪
Seeing everyone having a fun time
and everyone just being together,
I think that's probably the happiest thing I've ever seen,
just people completely void of sadness.
Events like the Orlando pride parade are a message
to the world that, you know, good will conquer evil.
♪ I am human ♪
♪ I am love ♪
♪ And my heart beats in my blood ♪
♪ Love will always win ♪
♪ Underneath the skin ♪
♪ Everybody's got a pulse ♪
My hope is that, one day, we could just live our lives
without fear of being judged.
We are just like everyone else. We are people, too,
and, you know, everyone deserves to be happy.
♪ I am human, I am love ♪
♪ And my heart beats in my blood ♪
♪ Love will always win ♪
♪ Underneath the skin ♪
♪ Everybody's got a pulse ♪
_
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com
Next time on "I Am Jazz"...
Shane's calling me. Hello?
_
What's up?
_
I signed us up for this scuba course.
On a scale of 1 to 10,
I'm like a 3.5.
- I like the skirt! - I know.
- You get to wear a skirt. - I know. Oh, my god.
I met Lynn when we filmed a bullying PSA.
Like, sometimes, my mom, she'll tell me that, like,
there's a demon inside of me.
We're having an open discussion about bullying
because it clearly affects our lives.
All right. We have a caller. Hello?
_