_
Jazz: Previously on "I Am Jazz"...
Skylar: Do you think you would be interested in dating
trans people maybe?
For sure, yeah.
Well, I know this guy, Shane.
He would be interested in meeting you.
The next step, really, is bottom surgery.
It should be done after you finish high school,
which is when you're 18.
It is ultimately my decision.
Your testosterone suppression didn't do you any favors
down below.
It's going to be difficult.
When you've wanted something for so long,
and then you're told you may not get it,
it's a really scary feeling.
Jazz: 15 years ago, I was assigned male at birth,
but inside, I always knew I was a girl.
I have a girl brain and a boy body.
Being transgender hasn't been easy.
This is definitely not, like, a straightforward case.
I don't think you have many options for vaginoplasty.
- I had a good time. - I had a lot of fun.
Have a great night.
- That sounds like a date. - It's not a date!
Jazz: But it's made me who I am.
I am Jazz.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Jeanette: Knock, knock, knock.
You're supposed to be dressed for the beach.
I know, I'm just looking for an outfit to wear.
That's not beach attire.
What are you looking to wear?
Should I wear a little sun dress? No.
You don't wear a sun dress to play volleyball.
Okay, yeah, not to volleyball.
Pbht! Oops!
- I asked you a question. - I'm just...
Today, I'm planning on meeting up with
some of my friends to go to the beach,
and my friend Skylar is in town, so I'm looking forward to her
meeting some of my friends.
What are you doing? What are you looking at on the phone?
Hello?
There is something concerning that you should probably know.
Now you're scaring me.
I have to sit down when you get like that.
Sit down.
So, I came across this really bad article.
Referring to you as a "he"?
Yeah, of course.
Which was not even nearly the worst thing they...
Why don't you just show me? What did you find?
Jazz has always been a target for hate,
but since she's really active in social media,
it's only gotten worse.
You know we shouldn't be looking at this if it's bad.
Just upsets me, upsets you.
For the most part, Jazz doesn't even read the comments,
so it doesn't bother her, but every now and then,
something huge will come around and it will disturb her
and she'll bring it to my attention.
If she does that, I know it's something really bad.
They mention where we live? Do they have our address?
Our city. Mm-hmm.
And the comments are really awful, too.
"Thank you so much for this insightful examination
of this repulsive, sick, and degenerative lifestyle.
It's absolutely horrific that a child would be given
hormone blockers and thus rendered sterile
when a teenage girl or boy would never be ethically allowed
by a surgeon to be neutered."
You didn't answer any of this, did you?
- ...and all this stuff. - Did you say anything?
No, obviously not.
Because I know you don't usually...
Wait, this one's funny.
"The author needs the psychiatrist...
totally crazy, hateful, ignorant,
and full of conspiracy theories
that make Donald Trump look sane."
[Both laugh]
Just be... when you're putting anything out on the Internet,
just be really careful not to put where we live.
I never put where I live.
People say hateful things all the time, and you know what,
we just have to not care about it. Whatever.
But the fact that they mention those personal details,
I thought it was important that I tell you.
When it comes to bullying, overall, it just makes me feel
a little bit upset that people could be so hateful.
I don't understand how they could come up
with these cruel remarks and awful things to say.
You know, I'm not going to let some online bullying affect me,
but I do know that I have to live my life a little bit more
cautiously sometimes because there are people out there
who will go to extreme measures to do awful things.
Okay, you see that gray shirt right there?
- This one. - Where?
Here, that one.
- There you go. - Maybe. I'll see.
Yeah, wear that.
Jazz: Ugh, I'll find something else to wear.
♪♪
Jump! Hit it, hit it! There you go!
Come on. Jazz, get it!
Good job! There you go.
Ugh!
Whoa!
Jazz: When things get a little bit crazy in my life
in terms of the hatred that I face,
it's really great to have a small group of friends
by my side because they really understand
what I'm going through and they are there to support me,
especially Skylar, who is transgender, as well,
so she definitely can relate to being in this situation.
Wait, can we take a quick break?
- Yeah. - I'm tired!
Today, I just don't even want to think about the bullying.
I just want to have a good time with my friends,
so that's what I am going to do.
So, how's your college search going?
Pretty well.
I still haven't, like, decided on one college yet.
I know. I haven't even started thinking about college at all.
So, actually, recently I heard that some universities
in Florida are willing to pay
for their student's bottom surgery.
Oh, okay. That's cool.
Is that something that you would be, like,
interested in since you're planning on getting it?
I honestly don't even know what I'm doing.
I mean, I just had my first consultation
with this doctor named Dr. Reed.
What did he say?
He basically told me that, like, there's not a lot
of material to work with because, before I even
started puberty, the hormone blocker prevented me
from getting testosterone in my body.
So, basically, like, I have a prepubescent penis, right?
[Laughter]
Wait.
I understand, like, that Jazz has a penis,
but it's not something, like, I acknowledge on a daily.
It's not something that ever crosses my mind at all
'cause to me, she's a normal girl.
So, basically, he said that I should get a colon-vaginoplasty.
What that is is they take part of the colon
and they stretch it out and use that to create the vagina.
The negative is that, um, it smells.
- Ew. - Yeah, it's a weird smell,
they said.
In class, someone would be, like, "who farted?"
[Laughter]
It's my vagina!
Jayleen: I know Jazz has wanted the surgery
for a very long time, but I didn't exactly know
the details, and it does sound very scary.
Would that be more painful than the regular procedure?
It sounds really painful.
- I think it would be. - It might be, yeah.
- Oh, that's scary. - Yeah.
No matter what procedure I get, getting the bottom surgery
will provide me with a new confidence.
It's the last step towards finally becoming
who I always was on the inside.
How many consultations did you have to have
until you found the right doctor?
Oh, well, I went to one in Arizona...
That was the doctor I was telling you about.
Uh-huh.
And my boyfriend actually had a consultation with him
to have top surgery.
Wait, so you said your boyfriend's also transgender.
- Yeah. - So, then, you guys are both,
like, taking this step forward in your life
- with these procedures. - I think it's so cool,
yeah, when both people in a relationship are trans.
Mm-hmm.
I need a trans boyfriend.
Well, Shane's super excited to go hang out this weekend.
Who's Shane?
He's my friend, and he's trans, too,
and he lives down here, actually.
We're going ice skating.
You never told me. Nobody told me anything about this kid.
[Singsong voice] He likes Jazz.
[Laughter]
I don't even know him! He doesn't even know me.
I think he thinks you're really beautiful.
Oh, my god. I look like fresh out of the toilet.
Skylar: I want Jazz to meet Shane because I feel like
they could really connect, and to take the pressure off,
I suggested the idea of going ice skating.
That's gonna be cool to meet him.
You're lucky you're going to have Skylar
and all them with you, so...
I know, 'cause I didn't want it to be, like,
one-on-one awkward date, like...
Why wouldn't you do it one-on-one?
Because I just think one-on-one is so awkward, you know?
And then it's actually considered, like, a date.
Meeting new people... It's just kind of awkward
the first time you're with someone.
And the fact that Shane is transgender
doesn't necessarily make it easier because,
even though we have this one thing that relates us,
it doesn't mean that we're going to like one another.
I feel like I just shouldn't over-think it.
You're definitely over-thinking it.
♪♪
Greg: What you you making?
Jeanette: Teriyaki.
Are you cutting the chicken
and putting it in the salad, or are we just...
- Nah. - ...eating salad on the side.
Nah.
Aah!
Why would you do that with someone who's...
I'm cooking!
What's wrong with... Look what you just did!
Pick that up!
It is weird with the twins out of the house.
It used to be balanced in my favor.
[Laughs]
Now it going to be not balanced in my favor.
You're in the minority again.
Jeanette: So, how was volleyball?
It was fine.
Oh, but Skylar did invite me to go ice skating.
Why ice skating?
Well, she just wanted me to hang out and meet
her boyfriend, Matt, who is also in town with her,
and this also transgender kid, Shane, as well.
So, she's getting together a group of kids.
No, we're just going to hang out.
When I hear Jazz is going ice skating with two boys,
two girls, I think it could be classified as a date,
but it depends on how you classify the term "date."
Do you remember how to ice skate?
Eh, you know, when you go out there,
you just kind of figure it out.
How are you getting there?
Shane is driving us.
You know what, you haven't had too many kids
driving you around.
Put your shotgun away.
- You have one? - That's a joke.
- It's an old joke. - I know, I'm kidding.
We're fine, as long as everybody meets here.
You guys talk to him before we go off.
We will.
[Chuckles]
I think it's a great springboard for Jazz to start dating,
you know, trans boys first.
They totally get each other.
It's perfect. There's none of the awkwardness.
As a parent, it's a sense of relief.
It's like, "okay, she's with her people."
So, we just saw Dr. Reed.
Did you feel like we got good information
from the consultation?
Jazz: Honestly, my mind is kind of lost,
'cause I always thought my whole life that I was just
going to get the standard vaginoplasty...
The penile skin inversion... And that was the way to go,
and I didn't even know that there was something like
the colon-vaginoplasty where they take other parts
of your body, and it's just...
Mm.
Greg: After Jazz's consultation with Dr. Reed,
I think she's a little out of sorts about
this procedure because she realizes this is her body
and whatever procedure she has down the road,
that's what she's going to have for the rest of her life.
The whole point is that we need to have
at least a second opinion if not a second and third opinion.
Hopefully, the person that takes care of you
will have dealt with someone like you
and it won't be the first time.
Jazz: Dr. Reed didn't even know what suppression was,
so he may not be right about this colon-vaginoplasty.
We can visit some doctors that just do vaginoplasties
and see what their thoughts are after examining you.
I mean, there did seem to be some negative things about it...
The fact that it might not be as aesthetically pleasing.
Yeah, but it's inside, so...
I don't know. Can you see my vaginal canal?
Can we not be too graphic?
Let's just focus on the education...
How much of mom's vagina have you seen?
[Laughs]
Be honest.
Greg: When we start discussing vaginas at the dinner table,
I check out of the conversation.
It's not really dinner talk.
Can we get back on topic?
No, like, how much of a woman's vagina
does a man actually see, or does he not, you know,
inspect it, he just kind of goes for it.
[Laughs]
What?
I actually think it's a good question.
I want to know, in the future, when I'm going to have a vagina,
how much is my partner going to actually see?
I can't have this conversation.
Are they going to, like, open up and take
a magnifying glass like Dr. Reed?
In the past, we tried to have a conversation with Jazz
about the birds and the bees,
and she really didn't want to hear it.
So, we came here... We wanted to talk to you
about the birds and the bees.
Does it look like I'm really doing anything sexual?
Now she's asking you what my vagina looks like.
We've come a long way, Greg.
Does it matter if a vagina's ugly, like slightly ugly?
Does it matter? If it works?
[Chuckles]
I-I would have to say...
I don't know how to answer the question.
I want to know from your viewpoint.
I mean, look, if it was me and I was thinking about
what you're thinking about, I would want functionality,
certainly, and I would always want it to not...
- Look like a mess. - Yeah.
Greg and I have been on this journey with Jazz
for a really long time,
and we've always followed Jazz's lead.
We know it's her decision.
I want to know if other doctors can provide some other options
for someone like me besides the colon-vaginoplasty.
I'm on the search for America's next top vagina.
Oh, my god.
So, how are you feeling about this new boy?
You're not nervous?
Skylar is making it seem like
this is going to be some sort of date.
But if, like, things happen...
♪♪
Jazz: Ooh, I want everything already.
Do you think I should try this on?
Yeah, I feel like you have stuff like this, probably.
Yeah. I like that kind of stuff.
I met Mya at the Gender Bender support group,
and she's become a great friend.
Do you want to share what cup size you are?
I don't know. Somebody was, like,
"oh, you're a solid A," but I feel like I could work a B.
I could work a B.
I love her personality, and I think, even though
I don't love shopping, she'll help me find some cute clothes.
I can't wait to get, like, the surgery,
and then I can wear pants like this.
Like, I feel like a lot of people think you do it for,
like, sexual reasons, but it's a lot more for, like,
convenience, like...
Yeah, for real.
Mya really understands the problems that transgender girls
face when it comes to wearing certain articles of clothing.
We have to be very cautious about wearing things
that are too tight or stuff that shows our area.
- Want to try on... - Yeah.
Getting the bottom surgery done may mean that people will stop
seeing me differently, and it's also about how I see myself.
I want to be confident in my body.
- Wow. - I feel like I can see...
- Oh, I love it. - But it's cute. I like it.
I think it's a definite get.
You can pull some guys in that.
- You think so? - Yeah.
How has been your dating life?
Well, it's... hmm.
Hmm.
I've been dating more, I guess.
Really? That's good.
What about you? Any more interesting guys?
Not really, no.
I mean, I'm going to be going on this, like,
social gathering thing, but I don't know.
I'm in no rush, honestly.
I don't know if I'm into it.
I feel like, when it comes to me going out with Shane,
people have already been putting pressure on me,
making it seem like this is going to be some sort of date,
but I want it to be something really casual
where it doesn't feel forced.
Do you have anything for the weekend, though?
I was going to go see my brother.
We were talking, and we might go play pool.
But I'm nervous because since I transitioned,
I haven't really been seeing him that much.
Does he know that you've, like, transitioned?
Yeah, I mean, he's seen me. I don't... like, we've never
really talked about it, so I guess he doesn't really get it.
Mya: Jazz and I's situation are pretty different.
She's had, like, had a lot of time for her family
to get used to things and, with mine, it's pretty new.
There's still a lot of my family who have no clue
that I've transitioned, and with my brother,
there was a big strain on our relationship.
Well, him and his girlfriend, like, they just don't really get
the pronouns right just yet.
- Really? - Yeah.
He hasn't really... I don't think he's even ever
really tried to say, like, the right pronouns for me.
I think he just sees me, like, as his brother still.
Obviously, I'm misgendered on social media very often,
and being misgendered is a form of bullying,
even if it is a family member.
His girlfriend's going to be there,
and I'll probably be, like, third-wheeling it.
- Third-wheeling... - Yeah.
If you want me to, like, I could go
'cause I don't really have anything.
So, yeah, I would love to go.
The fact that her own brother isn't recognizing her
for her true identity really upsets me,
and I want to be there to support her if her brother
isn't being very sensitive towards her situation.
It could be, like,
an enlightening experience for him.
♪♪
Greg: How much soil do we need?
More. A little more than that.
Okay.
There's a froggy in there.
- There's a frog? - Yeah.
Mr. Toad! Where are you?
I have an empty nest.
Come here!
I'm not running around all the time going to sporting events,
so I'm filling a void.
- Feeling a void... - Jazz is not home...
...that Jeanette has because
three of the kids are off to college.
Go, go, go, go, go! Bye!
So, what do you think about Jazz's socializing?
I'm really secretly happy that she's going somewhere
with someone of the opposite sex,
and it doesn't hurt that he's trans.
I think Jazz is long overdue for something like this.
Yeah, no, I like the idea that she's branching out,
but I also think she's got to be cautious, you know?
Yeah, 'cause with Ari, she always a steady boyfriend,
so like, I would know the guy for so long
before she went off somewhere.
This is, like, the first kid I've ever had where it's, like,
knock, knock on the door, "well, hello! Nice to meet you.
Now take my precious child. Bye!"
This is a first.
We'll make sure we give him the family welcome
and make sure that he has an eye out for Jazz, you know?
"Better watch yourself, buddy."
[Laughs]
As a dad, I have mixed emotions about Jazz dating.
Part of me wants her to find happiness, joy.
On the other hand, part of me wants to be protective,
and I do not want her involved in anything that might be too...
- What's the right word? - Get her pregnant?
No, I'm just kidding. I had to say it.
I had to say...
I'm more worried about her just having a good time, you know?
I want to make sure that she goes out there
and she puts herself out there and she opens her mind
to meeting new people.
And I hope that she's not rude
'cause you know how sometimes she can do that to people?
She can put them off and not give them a chance.
Jeanette: Jazz doesn't like making new friends,
and I want her to be open-minded about
letting people in 'cause she's a fun kid.
And I have to not project my own feelings on her.
But it pains me. It hurts me.
She doesn't hang out with guys too often,
and so if it's a little uncomfortable,
you know she's going to have to learn
how to deal with that.
♪♪
[Ring tone plays]
All right, come here. You answer it.
You don't know how to answer it?
Sander: Hello?
Hello, Sander.
Hello.
- Hey! - Hey, guys. Nice beard.
Jeanette: What's up? Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where's your hair on the side of your head?
What's going on? Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god. - What is that?
Jeanette: Sander, no, not your beautiful hair.
[Gasps] That's horrible!
Is this fraternity-related?
It's tradition. But, like, you got a choice,
but it's a tradition, so we decided to do it.
You know, when we said, "have fun at college,"
we were not exactly thinking along these lines.
When the boys pop on the screen with bad haircuts,
I have to laugh.
It's just... It's such...
Frat boys or college kids, it's just...
You know, send them off looking cute,
and they come back looking weird.
We'll get some gel for you, for your hair,
- like spike... - _
- No, not now! - _
Isn't your hair supposed to stick up?
Mom, don't bother them.
He's not trying to get style points.
He's just trying to get points on this test.
- He needs to go. - It's very painful.
All right, good luck on the test.
Use hair gel.
- Okay. I love you. - _
- Bye, Sander. See you. - _
[Beeping]
That makes me sad.
Jeanette's got to get used to having a close to empty nest.
- The birds have flown... - Flown the coup.
...the coup, and there's one left.
And she's a handful.
She's like having 10.
I get sad when I see them.
They were, like, there.
I feel like when you facetime them,
it makes you realize how much you actually miss them.
And then it's sad.
You're lucky 'cause not all brothers...
Yeah, not everyone has great brothers like I do.
You guys know Mya.
I love Mya.
It turns out Mya's brother is not very accepting
of the situation that Mya's going through.
Not at all?
- Mnh-mnh. - Why?
Greg: He's just not educated enough about the topic?
He just doesn't understand, yeah.
I think, yeah.
He's referring to her with male pronouns,
and it's just the way it was.
Well, how long ago did she transition?
Like, a year and a half, I think? A year?
They've just known her as Jordan, a guy.
It really makes me sad to hear that family members
are misgendering the transgender person in their life.
It's something that doesn't happen in our family
'cause we've always been very accepting of Jazz,
and I feel bad for anybody
that's misgendered by a loved one.
So, Mya, I think she's finally ready to have a discussion
with Jon that he needs to start, you know,
- correctly identifying... - Yes.
...as a female 'cause she is a woman.
And she invited me to be there with her
as she has this discussion.
You really don't know how a person is going to react.
They could ugly, like, confrontational.
And I certainly know you want to help your friend,
but I'm not sure this is a great idea.
I'm not keen on Jazz hanging out with somebody
who's potentially transphobic.
This is a very sticky situation.
And you and Mya are going in this, guns loaded,
and he might feel ganged-up-on.
I'm okay with that.
I want to be there to support her no matter what.
Even though this technically isn't really my business,
I want to be there for my friend,
and I'm going to say something if it's necessary.
I remember one time I was teaching him how to drive...
Are you open to the idea of using female pronouns?
♪♪
Well, look who's here. Hi, everybody.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hi. - Hello, hello.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
This is my Jeanette.
My Mom has so many friends, and this particular group,
I don't know as well as some of her other friends
that she's had for, like, 40 years.
It's nice to go out for lunch.
It's a great distraction from the loss I'm feeling
of the twins going away to college.
We brought you here, Mom, for...
For our last anniversary, you treated us to a meal here.
We had a lovely dinner.
- How many years? - Heading towards 52.
- God bless you. - Yes, I was a teenage bride.
No, I wasn't, you were.
I was an old maid.
- I was a teenage bride. - You were a teenage bride.
Today's young girls, they're teenage brides at 35.
That's right, and having babies at 42, right, Ros?
Oh, my goodness. Okay.
Well, I'm glad I closed up shop earlier.
I'm fine, thank you.
My kids are adults, but babies.
- Right. - It must be very quiet
in your house now.
Yes, 'cause, you know, twin boys are rambunctious,
are loud, and... yeah, I was a mess when they left.
Seeing them go, it was bad.
By the time they come home for Thanksgiving
and then they leave, you will be a happy camper.
Promise. Am I right, ladies?
- Mm-hmm. - Absolutely.
This is their time for fly.
I know all that, but still, it doesn't make it easier.
You can run around the house naked now.
Really? Jazz will appreciate that.
[Laughter]
She'll be horrified.
I miss my children, and I get emotional
whenever I talk about it, but...
I hear there are support groups for empty-nesters.
I have some updates to talk to you about.
The doctor said to Jeanette and Jazz
that it is time to seriously think about the final surgery.
Really? Wow, that's a step.
When my Mom announces that Jazz wants to have bottom surgery,
I am like, "what are you thinking?
Why are you bringing this up?"
Which is removing the penis and...
- Remove it? - Well, reconverting...
It's not like it's taken away.
...reconverting the penis into a workable vagina.
Reconstructing it beautifully.
Well, that's a good word.
Like, this is not the time or place.
Like, we're eating in a restaurant.
I don't know these people.
We're going to talk about Jazz's bottom surgery, like...?
Woman: Back to the operation, I'm just curious,
is your husband on board for this, also?
He is. I mean, he wants what's best for Jazz.
But he's not in any rush.
Greg and I are in different places with it.
I think men tend to be a little more... reluctant.
You know, women, we make decisions.
And if you're converting an appendage,
which you are doing,
you're talking to a husband who has that appendage.
And the thought of a man
having that changed has to be very serious.
Mom's got a good point there, yeah.
- It's like a briss. - It is.
It's like a grown up briss.
[Laughter]
Jeanette: So, my mom does bring up a good point,
but we shouldn't be discussing Greg's penis at lunch
let alone Jazz's.
[Laughing] And that's the way I feel about that.
Like, how did his penis get thrown on the table?
[Laughs]
Woman: I was wondering, if Jazz does have this operation,
can she put some sperm away for her future?
No. Because she never went through male puberty.
What if they change their mind?
There's a couple of very rare cases where people
kind of revert, but I think those people
were never like Jazz.
I'm so grateful that this is out in the open now
and you can talk about it and we can understand what's going on.
Kids are suffering,
and they don't need to if parents understand.
You know, it's very personal.
Some people won't talk about it at all.
My mom's friends are really supportive,
and this is something that they don't talk about a lot.
I mean, I know for a fact this is not a common thing
in their lives, so I'm really pleasantly surprised.
You've got some great friends, Mom.
I'm hanging out with you more often.
- I do. - Doesn't she have great friends?
I do!
[Laughter]
♪♪
Aw! [Laughs]
I see them.
Jazz: Even though my parents are hesitant about me going with Mya
to meet up with her brother,
I want to be there for my friend.
She invited me for a reason, and if I see Jonathan
misgendering Mya or being very unkind to her,
then it's in my nature to speak up.
Nice to meet you. I'm Jazz.
- Okay. Hi. - This is my brother, Jonathan.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
Mya: I'm really glad that Jazz is coming to play pool
with my brother and his girlfriend because
I'm nervous that he'll say some things that...
will kind of make me want to shut down.
When's the last time you have seen each other?
Um, since August?
It was August. Yeah.
- Since August? - Yes.
It so good to see you though.
It's so good, it's so good.
I don't really get to see Jordan too often.
Recently we have, you know, drifted further apart,
which I'm not too happy about.
I really want to get back to a good relationship.
So, school's good?
I mean, it's not bad, but...
I heard you're learning to drive, too?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't put out there that I don't know yet, but...
[Laughter]
I remember one time I was teaching him how to drive.
You remember where we stayed in plantation?
- Yeah. - You know that little hump
before you turn into the parking lot?
In the grass?
So, I gave him the wheel, and then he ran into that.
Mya's brother is misgendering her, and it's really not okay.
He's using male pronouns,
and Mya's reaction is to just remain silent.
So, you guys have never seen Mya, like, dressed as she is?
For us, 'cause we were in Orlando, we were going to UCF...
- Yeah. - ...We didn't see everything,
and then we came back, and, you know,
he was in the transition stage
and we were like, "whoa. What's going on?"
Are you open to the idea of using female pronouns?
♪♪
Are you open to the idea of using female pronouns?
I think, like, it would show Mya a lot...
How much you care... If you start using
the female pronouns, you know?
Like, for a lot of transgender people,
when their parent uses the correct pronoun
for the first time, or a family member,
like, it's just this huge moment of relief.
This conversation is hard because Jordan has always been
my brother, and, you know, it's my little brother
and I've been calling him "him" and, you know, "he"
and "brother," you know, my whole life.
I don't see... well, I do see it changing, but right now,
it's definitely a work in progress.
If we were, like, gradually put into it, you know...
_
I feel like at this point,
I've been presenting like this for a while.
It's not that hard to get the memo.
No, it's not... we're not saying that it's hard.
What we're saying is that it's, like,
it's just an adjustment that we have to make.
It's kind of, like, new to us, so it's kind of...
- It definitely takes time. - Yeah.
I do understand where my brother's coming from
because he did know me a certain way for a really long time,
but he needs to be open to getting to know me
another type of way.
Don't get offended with me 'cause I'm not...
I'll still say "he."
I'll say it and then I'm, like, "oh, yeah."
_
Jazz: I can really tell that Jonathan does love Mya,
and I'm actually surprised because I was expecting Jonathan
to completely reject Mya for who she is.
And I feel just so lucky that I haven't had to experience
what Mya is going through.
I honestly don't really know who Mya is,
so I want to get a chance to know who Mya is.
You know, you grew up with Jordan, not Mya.
- Yeah. - But Mya was always there.
♪♪
[Knock on door]
Jeanette: Jazz!
Jazz: I'm coming.
- Hello. - Hello.
Skylar and Matt arrive for the hang-out,
and I'm trying not to have any hopes or concerns.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
I'm Jazz.
I want to see my friend Skylar.
I mean, I love her. I don't get to see her often.
I want to see her with her boyfriend, Matt.
And I just want to have a good time.
You must be Matt.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
I'm delighted because Jazz definitely wants
to experience love,
but she doesn't do anything to make that happen.
She's waiting for it to fall in her lap,
and you've got to go out there.
Are you wearing that or no 'cause...
No, I'm going to be really cold.
But you need to change,
- let's go. - Okay.
So, this could be the beginning of a new chapter where,
you know, there's more boys that come up or girls that come by,
so I'm ready.
So, how's it going with you and Matt?
- It's good. - It is?
- Mm-hmm. - Aww.
This is actually his sweat shirt.
I'm probably going to end up wearing that.
Yeah, that looks pretty.
Thanks.
Have you guys kissed?
- Yeah. - You have? Aww.
Our first kiss was at camp.
Have you done more than a peck?
Maybe?
Uh-oh.
You don't have to share all the secrets.
I have not made out with a boy before.
I have kissed two girls, and we were just practicing.
I'm going to leave it at that.
So, what do you and Matt do for fun?
Like, do you guys go on dates?
Sometimes we go hang out with my friends
or, like, we go out to eat.
Our relationship is, like, really centered on food.
That's a great relationship.
[Both laugh]
Was it awkward at first?
We didn't really have any awkward pauses at all,
like, in our conversations.
Hearing Skylar talk about Matt, I'm a little bit jealous
because Skylar is experiencing stuff
that normal teenagers experience.
Do you think you'll ever fall in love?
I haven't really... I don't know.
I don't date a lot.
So, how are you feeling about this new boy?
I don't know. I'm not thinking much of it.
Just, like, "nice to meet you."
You're not nervous?
No, I'm not.
Skylar: I'm extremely pleased that I put Shane and Jazz
in touch because I feel like I'm playing kind of, like,
a matchmaker.
But if, like, things happen...
Then maybe you'll consider it?
I don't know. Who knows.
Jazz: I'm going ice skating and meeting Shane
because Skylar is my friend.
But Skylar is making it seem like this is going to be
some sort of date, and I feel like it's putting
too much pressure on me, and then my mind is racing
and I don't know what to expect and it's going to make things
even more awkward because I'm going to be
thinking about it too much.
[Knock on door]
Hey. How're you doing?
I'm good. I'm Shane. Nice to meet you.
Hey, Shane. I'm Greg.
Come on in.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
- Good. - Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Meeting parents is very nerve-racking
because I've never had to meet parents before
taking someone out,
so definitely a new experience for me, too.
You an ice skater? Have you ever ice skated?
Never. Never.
- Really? - So...
Jazz doesn't ice skate very often either, so...
You guys want to hold on to each other...
Yeah.
So, you're going to be driving then, right?
Yeah.
You got your driver's license, right?
Yes. [Laughs]
You've had it for a little while?
Yeah, I've had it for a little while.
Okay. And you're a good driver, right?
I'm a very good driver.
You'll take good care of my baby.
- Yes. - Make sure.
You want to meet Matt?
- Yeah. - Yeah, let's do that.
Matt's in there.
I feel the nervousness coming off of Shane,
and it actually is endearing, kind of.
Skylar told me a lot about you.
Yeah? What'd she tell you?
She says you're cool.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I love Skylar. She's pretty great, right?
She got so much taller.
Yeah, estrogen gave her, like, seven inches.
Well, estrogen made Jazz stop growing.
Testosterone made me grow.
Jazz just grew here, not there.
[Laughter]
Jeanette is out-of-bounds in this conversation.
Bam! Done.
Hey, Jazz?
They're transgender. They get... I can say...
Why would you be talking about that?
Because Skylar's trans and Matt's Skylar's...
I see.
So, this is a medical conversation we're having.
Yeah, he knows, like, trans girls.
- They, you know...? - Yeah. Out-of-bounds.
[Groans] Hello.
Hey, it's nice to see you, too.
- What's up? - Nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you, too.
I heard you've never been ice skating, right?
Never.
So, are you nervous?
Very nervous.
All right, let's get going.
Jazz: I'm hoping that having Skylar and Matt with me
makes things less awkward when it comes to talking with Shane.
- Bye, guys. - Have fun.
It's good to see you.
- Bye. - Thank you.
♪♪
Biological ladies first.
[Laughter]
- What's going on? - Hello.
We're going to get four pairs of skates.
Thank you.
- Thank you. - And what can I get
- for you guys? - 8.
Hockey skates or figure skates?
Yeah, I don't know.
These are, like, figure.
Hockey skates are like basketball shoes on skates.
Hockey skates.
- Manly. - Yeah.
Skylar: Dating is pretty hard for Jazz, so I hope there's
a bit of a connection between Jazz and Shane.
The first two steps are always the hardest.
Don't fall, please.
Oh, my god.
Okay.
Okay, let's go.
♪♪
[Bleep]
- You got... - I'm not falling first!
[Laughs]
Do you want to try to kiss when we turn around?
When we first get out on to the ice, Skylar and Matt
are skating together and holding hands, and it's just so cliché.
Stay at the wall. Just stay at the wall.
I'm staying at the wall.
They're leaving me alone with Shane,
and it puts more pressure on me to have to talk with him,
and who wants to be put in that situation?
I think I need to make my right shoe tighter.
_
Thank you for helping.
I don't know, I didn't really know how to tie them.
I think this shoe's okay.
- Well, this is very loose. - Oh, okay.
_
Let me see how you do that.
Shane keeps trying to talk to me,
and I honestly just have no idea what to say.
It's just a little bit weird.
I don't know.
All right, I think I'm fixed up now.
[Groans]
_
It's a date.
You're doing good, you're doing good.
I don't know what to do.
Jazz seems embarrassed with me.
Okay, this is not working well.
She left.
Guys, whoa! I'm, like, doing it!
- Try to go faster. - Come on.
Uh-oh. Ooh! Ow.
I'm the loser!
Are you okay?
I hurt my back.
♪♪
- Whoa! - Where'd she go?
♪♪
Hey.
Where's Skylar and Matt?
They're out there still.
Oh. They want to stay skating, probably.
When I fell, I hurt my back.
Do you need help?
It's okay. I think I almost got it.
Shane: I feel like I put myself out there a little bit today,
but I feel like Jazz didn't respond too much to it,
so that kind of made it a little awkward.
Well, what do you want to do?
Um, I don't know.
I think I'm just gonna sit down, honestly.
I'll sit with you.
It's okay.
You can go skate.
Shane is trying to help me, but I wish he would just
understand that when I'm upset and want to be alone
that I really just want to be alone.
Either way, it's all good.
I'm going to go return these.
All right.
I definitely just want to go home.
We want to hear. How'd it go?
[Groans]
I just really hate myself!
♪♪
I forget, did you ice skate a lot when you were younger?
I did.
'Cause I used to go every day.
Once the pond froze over, I used to always go skating.
My parents would just drop us off,
and we'd have to walk home when we were done.
It was a pretty good walk.
I had to have an adult with me.
Really?
I had the hovering parents.
_
You know Jazz.
Would be nice if she had a connection with somebody,
but with her, she's a tough cookie.
[Door opens]
[Beeping]
- Is that her? - Speak of the devil.
What do you mean, "speaking of the devil"?
We were talking about you?
One, I'm a devil, and two, why are you speaking about me?
So, how was your social event?
It was fun. It was fun.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
♪♪
That's it?
Mm-hmm.
So, we want to hear. How'd it go?
I mean, it was obviously a little awkward at first.
We were all getting used to each other, and yeah.
Had you ever met Matt, or was it the first time?
Yes. Skylar and Matt are really cute.
Yeah? Perfect little couple.
She's so beautiful, and he's so cute.
Yes, they are.
So, what'd you think of Shane?
He's a cool kid.
Yeah? Tell, like, what's he like?
Is he an interesting person?
Yeah, he's very interesting, you know?
He likes art and tattoos.
So, is he somebody that you'd like to hang out with again?
I don't know, Mom. I would have to see him.
My parents keep grilling me about how this hang-out went,
and my mom, she's focusing specifically on Shane
and if I like Shane, and it gets really annoying.
So, why don't you just talk to us
and just tell us what happened?
[Groans]
- Sorry. - What happened?
Nothing.
I'm just insane.
Like, I don't know why anyone would want to be around me.
Aw, stop. Don't say that. I hate when you get like that.
Don't get down on yourself.
You don't look happy right now. You just tired?
I'm not in a good mood right now.
I don't know what I want, what I want to do,
who I like, who I... am.
Going into this ice skating situation,
there were a lot of social pressures,
and I don't deal with the stress that well
and I felt like I was really rude,
and I was embarrassed about it.
You look really sad, Jazz.
Okay, I just really hate myself!
Jazz.
[Groans]
[Footsteps receding]
[Door opens, closes]
Next time on "I Am Jazz"...
[Voice breaking] I just feel bad about myself.
- Why? - I'm so mean to everyone.
[Sobs]
I was asked to give a talk about transgender issues.
I would like you to participate.
I'd love to transition without hormones or very little.
I can't imagine how one could transition
without the appropriate hormones.
I disagree with that. Yeah, no.
I think I want a consultation with Dr. McGinn in Pennsylvania.
When it comes to the surgery, we don't have
the raw materials we need to make what we're used to.
Now I am just worrying because I don't know
if there is any procedure that will work on me.
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com