-You asked him out? -Basically.
-The GQ cutie child? -Yes.
-Abercrombie and Fitchie boy? -Okay.
I'm surprised to see you predisposed toward fun.
A good time is just something l happen not to enjoy.
We went out, and, in fact, l did have a good time.
We danced to Vonda and the lkettes.
-"Turn the Beat Around. " You know it? -Yes.
-Turn the beat around -Turn the beat around
ALLY: l was really going.
-And this was the problem. Well. . . . -Why?
You sure sound pretty
ALLY: l was getting worked up.
And when l dance, l can get. . . .
-Hot. -Sizzling.
-They got to that part of the song. . . . -Which part?
-The part. -Ah.
When the guitar player starts playing
With a syncopated rhythm Scratch scratch scratch
Makes me want to move my body Yeah yeah yeah
And when the drummer starts Beating that beat
He nails that beat With a syncopated rhythm with a
-Rat tat tat tat -Tat tat on the drums
Yes, l understand.
-Turn the beat around -Turn the beat around
And once l get going on the dance floor. . . .
You don't need to tell me.
ALLY: Just as l was about to personally compute his sperm count....
-No. -No?
-No.
-Thank God. -I somehow got ahold of myself. . .
. . .and said the three words men hate.
It's too soon.
-And what did he do? -He accepted it.
-And then he left. -How is he now?
I have no idea. I'm gonna see him this morning.
I'm afraid that he's gonna think l'm one of those. . .
-. . .you know. Yes. -Penis taunters?
Any man who has his lady hot on the dance floor. . .
. . .to "Turn the Beat Around" thinks he's in like Flynn.
So to be rebuffed, you've hurt him. Go to him. Tend to his need.
-I'm telling you, it's too soon. -Is the day ever coming for you two?
For carnal togetherness? Let him at least know it's coming.
Otherwise, he'll move on.
Is that what you want?
I've been down this road
Lost and Found
Walking the line That's painted by pride
And l have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide
Oh, l believe l am ready For what love has to bring
I got myself together Now l'm ready to sing
I've been searching my soul tonight l know there's so much more to life
Now l know l can shine the light To fiind my way back home
Baby
Here we go. Time is my money.
First, a reminder. Ling's television show begins airing today. . .
. . .for those who've longed to control the volume when she speaks.
Now, Gower v. Massachusetts. It's mine. I'm a lawyer, in case anyone forgot.
Corretta is second chair. So off to court we go.
-John? You're back. -Indeed. Move along, Richard.
-But, you're here. -Yes.
Your powers of observation continue to stun. Move along.
-But where were you? -That's my business. Move along.
Ally and Richard missed you. Perhaps Corretta did too.
I missed you every time l opened the freezer and saw the frozen peas.
Richard, let's just move along.
My case, Gower v. Massachusetts. . .
. . .I don't know what it's about. I'm meeting the client at 1 0:00.
-I thought you were off to court? -I stand ready if need be.
-I'm a litigator. -Richard, Nancy Gower is here.
Corretta, let's go. John, welcome back. We'll discuss later.
No, we won't.
We're adjourned.
John. John.
John.
-We were all worried about you. -You shouldn't have been.
-I left a note. -Hey, can we talk about this?
Not with him watching.
Okay, look, l. . . . Well, obviously, l. . . .
I wanted to go further last night.
This is a delicate conversation.
Could you suspend activity with the burger?
I'm not sure.
You actually seem more able when it comes to suspending activity.
I'm sorry.
When l was in college, good-looking guys didn't even look my way.
Last night, l got this sudden hit. . .
. . .that l was living out some fantasy.
I just felt silly, and that it was wrong for us. . .
. . .and it was wrong for the whoever.
-Whoever? -Whoever l end up with for real.
He won't want a woman who sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Larry-- Harry.
You didn't wanna go to bed last night, because it would be unfaithful. . .
-. . .to whoever comes after me? -Something like that.
I never said that l make complete sense.
Why does it have to be complicated? Why not sleep with me. . .
. . .to find out what you were missing out on in college?
Statements like that convince me that l was missing nothing.
Ally, you're 31 , and it's just too reckless to be with a 28-year-old?
Okay, up until now, l haven't wanted to sound crazy with you. . .
. . .and what l'm about to say is. . . .
I feel sort of like an old soul. I've been here before.
And you? Well, this life is your very first.
This is a past-life thing?
I think you and l come from different worlds.
A person from one world can't date somebody from another?
I must tell you, l've been a crook. You need to know.
-Nancy, we're all God's children. -Well, this child stole from old men.
I'm no psychiatrist, but usually when people act out. . .
. . .it means they're reaching out for something.
I could be wrong, but you were reaching out for money, weren't you?
-I feel you know me. -I've been there.
He's still there.
I scammed older men. I pretended to be in love with them.
They'd give me money, jewelry. We'd get engaged. . .
. . .I'd get these diamond rings, then l'd break off the engagement.
-I was-- -A woman.
-A thief. -Oh.
-But now l'm reformed. -Excellent.
Gerard knows all about my past.
-I love her just the same. -The court won't let us marry.
What do you mean?
I was arrested, and as part of my sentence. . .
. . .the judge ordered me to stay away from men over 50.
-I'm 54. -A judge can't order that.
-Well, he did. -That's against that thing. . . .
-The Constitution. -Exactly.
-Is there anything we can do? -We can go into court. . .
-. . .and litigate. I'm a litigator. -Anything you can do.
I'm not the person l used to be. I promise you that.
Look, let's have dinner tonight. Can we do that?
-Sure. -I will explain--
Dinner? How about you, me, Jenny and Thin Mint?
Great, l'll tell Jenny. She'd love it.
-Great. -Great.
LING: You have a legitimate complaint, ma 'am.
But your mistake was thinking l'd care.
Why don 't you sue whoever cut your hair?
Believe that?
Treat people rotten enough, eventually somebody will put you on television.
Can l help you?
A lot of people were worried, John. Including me.
You're a senior partner. You owe an explanation.
If not out of conscience, then how about leadership?
-Are you okay? -I'm fine, thank you.
Good.
We did miss you.
Missed you too.
-Double date? Well. . . . -It'll be fun, don't you think?
-We used to. -I didn't like you then.
-Glenn's fine with it. -Oh. Okay.
-Are you fine with it? -Me? Why wouldn't l be?
-Seeing him with another woman. . . . -Please.
-Great! Should be fun, then. -Uh-huh.
Hey, John.
-Hello. -Going into your hole?
As a matter of fact. . . .
How do you know about my hole?
Everybody knows. Richard had an open house after he took it over.
He had the frequency changed. Here, use mine.
-You have access to my hole? -Richard and l are buddies.
-I took Jen in for a little nook. -Shut up.
("DANCING QUEEN" PLAYS]
-How dare you? -Not now. I'm off to court.
-You put a mirror ball in my hole! -Bygones.
Don't you "bygones" me, damn it!
Of all the betrayals!
You owe me a fiduciary duty, and you breached it royally!
-You left. -That gives you the right to violate me?
To have an open house in my royal breach?
Hole?
You mean to lecture me on duty? l have things to say.
RICHARD IN STEREO: You're a senior partner. Need l explain the concept...
...and the responsibilities that go with it?
I don 'tjust behold everybody as my partner, my friend, my colleague.
And you walked out on that.
You forgot what it means to go down a path with a trusted friend...
...a true believer in right andjustice--
Unbelievable! You're lip-synching your response!
-It's a lot to say. -Give it to me live.
I'm no good live.
You bring foreign bodies into my hole and lip-synch a lecture!
-You unbelievable oaf! -I'm a litigating oaf. . .
. . .because you abandoned ship, you funny little oots.
What is an oots?
Hey, Jenny.
Hi. What's up?
Well, um. . . .
Aren't you excited about our double date?
Well, that's sort of what l kind of wanted to sort of talk about, kind of.
Oh.
I'm not comfortable with. . . .
Oh, God! l sound like my therapist.
-I don't think this is a great idea. -Why?
Well, it's just-- Glenn used to be your boyfriend.
How will you feel if he were to kiss me, or--?
Oh, and now you're crying. Why?
-I'm sorry. -Tell me why you're crying.
I thought it was ridiculous too.
And that it was strange Glenn and everybody would forget my birthday.
Then l thought you didn't forget, and that's what this double date was about.
But l guess that isn't it, and everybody just forgot.
Oh. Oh.
No. No, we didn't forget your birthday.
We thought it would be better if it were a surprise.
So l came in here to pretend to call off the double date. . .
. . .so you'd be surprised when Glenn and l stood up to say, "Surprise. "
-Okay, so nobody forgot? -Of course not.
-You forgot her birthday? -No, l just didn't know it was today.
We have to go. She thinks it's for her.
So we'll go.
Elaine, it's Jenny's birthday. Could you sing at the bar?
-Sure. -You're such a giver.
-You were dating her for three years. -So sue me. Take me to court.
A judge can't control who a woman can marry.
The court order says she can't even approach a man over 50.
But that's unconstitutional. Pursuit of happiness, e pluribus unum.
-But you know that. LAWYER: What are you talking about?
A Superior Court judge trying to legislate who a woman can marry.
No judge can do that, even superior ones.
No judicial branch should get involved in domestic relations.
It's up to the president to do that. Separation of powers.
And she loves this man. E pluribus costs.
I think Judge Turanball was trying to protect potential victims.
Gerard Billow knows Nancy Gower's past. They both love each other.
-How do we know it's not a scam? -I trust her. I want to marry her.
This court order is penalizing him.
It keeps him from marrying the woman he loves.
Mr. Billow, this woman is a con artist.
-She's not that person today. -E Pluribus. It's in there.
These are two consenting adults, and they have rights.
People have privileges, not rights. They're lost when they violate the law.
Your Honor? l have no excuse for my past behavior, but l love this man.
Part of crime and punishment is rehabilitation.
And if you take away someone's ability to find love, to have a family. . .
. . .it seems like a lousy way to promote healing.
-There's your winner, judge. -I'll take it under advisement.
-See you back at 7:00. -7:00? l have plans, judge, l--
We'll be here.
-What's going on here? -I told you l have a photo shoot.
-You didn't tell me it was a layout. -Cover of Talk magazine.
You're a judge. Do you think it's appropriate?
Women used to strip for a chance at greatness.
Now you have to do great things to be able to strip.
But you're committed to the ideal that a woman is what she wears.
-What are you today? -A role model.
If l can inspire girls to go to law school. . .
. . .or have a perfect body, then l've done my job. Snap!
I've found myself, Nelle. I knew l eventually would.
-Hey, John. -Ally. Hello.
-How you doing? -Splendid, thank you.
-You seem sad. -Well, Richard violated my hole.
Let it heal.
-Where did you go, John? -I was away. I'm back now.
-Why must l account for my absence? -Because you are senior partner.
You left the firm in Richard's hands. That made everybody a little uneasy.
-It did? -Yeah.
-Are you having a crisis? -I think perhaps l was.
Was it me?
Me not wanting to go out? Did that spur it on?
Maybe, in part. I just needed some time to take measure of a few things.
-Now l'm back. So how are you? -I'm okay.
-And things with Glenn? -Ah, well.
I like him. You know, l think he's cute.
But sometimes when we're alone together and talking quietly. . .
. . .I find myself missing Larry.
I haven't even admitted that to my therapist.
It's just that l think Glenn is a boy, a cute boy.
But Larry, you know, he was a man.
-You know what l mean? -No, not really.
Larry walked out without saying goodbye. Men don't do that.
-He just flew off. -You flew off.
Not from you, l didn't. I would never.
-It isn't gonna be you. -I know this.
-I still love you. -Right back at you.
So anyway, to answer your question. . .
. . .I don't know about me and Glenn. I'm gonna try and stay open to it.
I suppose that good things can come in younger packages, so we'll see.
-Excellent. -Well. . . .
I'm glad you're back. I just wish l knew why you went away.
First of all, to the ladies for looking beautiful.
-And to Jenny on her birthday. -Happy birthday.
We came to this restaurant on one of our early dates.
First time you guys slept together.
-You told me. -Picked this place to get lucky?
Come on. Food's good. But since you brought it up. . .
. . .there is something l've been meaning to broach.
-What? -Have you and Ally--?
-Raymond! -Nice.
-We're all friends. -We're in a restaurant.
-Jenny doesn't need to hear that. -Why not?
-Sorry? -Why not?
I'm your date. Stick up for my ears instead of Jenny's.
-Sorry. -She's got a little streak.
Another toast.
To friendship.
-Have you and Jenny? -Not yet, but l was hoping tonight.
What are you two talking about?
-Celtics. -Bruins.
-Could we get some menus? -Certainly.
Can l say something?
I love foreheads, and you have the sexiest forehead.
-You are such a goof. -Can l kiss that forehead?
Well. . . .
-Wonder what l'll have. -There's prime rib in your future.
I thought about last night, and l'm willing to wait as long as you want.
Well, thank you, Glenn.
What?
I don't have a problem with you guys going out. . .
-. . .but don't have to suck face now. -"Suck face"?
-All right. -Menus?
-Dry lips. You know how wet he is. -Excuse me?
-You made out? -No. You told me.
-You told her l make out sloppy? -I'm not happy here.
-In a good way! -Okay, we're just a little on edge.
So let's open presents. That'll lighten things up.
-Presents? -You got me presents, right?
Prime rib later. Little drummer boy.
-Nobody got me a present? -Of course we got you presents.
-There's mine. -And here's mine.
-Glenn? -Well. . . .
You didn't get me anything?
-A song in the bar. -A song at the bar.
I'm sorry?
We're gonna go back to the bar, and l have a special song for you.
-That's nice. -All arranged and everything.
-Great. -Great.
That's great.
JUDGE: lt was not an abuse of discretion to issue a restraint. . .
. . .against the plaintiff approaching men over 50. Given her record. . .
. . .she's posed a threat to this demographic.
However, our justice system does provide for second chances. . .
. . .when there has been rehabilitation. Mr. Billow, it's up to you.
-I'm ready. My love grows daily. -I'm all choked up.
The aisle is your plank, sir. If you choose to walk it, l won't stop you.
-Oh, my God. -I'm so happy.
-Thank you, Richard and Corretta. -Well, let's make this official.
Nancy, will you marry me?
I will. Oh, my God!
Don't fence it.
With this ring l promise l'll Always love always love you
You gonna stay mad forever?
It was sacred, Richard. A man's hole is his temple.
-Where did you go? -I just went away.
-The firm deserves an explanation. -It would disappoint you.
John, we're senior partners. If they can't respect you, that leaves me.
With this ring l promise l'll Always love always love you
-Aren't you and the boy on a date? -He's arranging Jenny's present.
Did you strip naked for a seminude layout?
My character wasn't growing enough.
Thank you very much! Thank you!
She's a good dancer, Jenny. I bet she's a pretty decent rattle.
-You're disgusting. Trust me. -You're not just saying that?
Attention, please. We have a birthday girl with us, Jenny Shaw.
She has two favorites: Sinatra and Elvis.
And since we've done Frank, l thought tonight we'd do a little Elvis.
If he starts to grind up there, l'll vomit.
You'll think it's silly, but l used to think in a prior life l was Elvis.
-But, John, Elvis lived in this life. -Well, there lies the rub.
Quite as good as l should have
Quite as often as l could have
Little things l should Have said and done
Ijust never took the time
You were always on my mind
Maybe l didn 't hold you
All those lonely lonely times
And l guess l never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
You were always on my mind
Call me an oink, but l think he still loves her.
I don't think either of us is getting any tonight.
Oink.
You were always on my mind
-Did she like it? -I think so.
Thanks for the idea. If she hadn't gotten a present. . . .
-It was a good choice, that song. -Yeah, well, she does love Elvis.
-What? -Do you think you're fooling anybody?
-What are you talking about? -You love her.
-What? Come on, Ally, we're just-- -Friends?
Why do you keep denying it? She still loves you, and you love her.
-I don't get it. -We love each other as friends, not--
Glenn, l'm older. Could you permit me to be wiser for one second?
I watched you watch her at dinner.
I watched you sing to her. I know when somebody loves somebody.
And not just as friends.
-You two belong together. -We'd just end up hating each other.
So it isn't smooth always. It doesn't mean it isn't right.
I appreciate your opinion, but allow me to decide who l want to be with.
Sure.
-Do l have the same privilege? -Of course.
I choose not to be with somebody who loves somebody else.
Good night, Glenn.
And, Glenn, you're a great guy.
And somewhere out there. . .
. . .there's a great girl waiting for you to call.
-Gerard, what's up? -Is Richard here?
-He's in his office. -If l could see you both a second?
-Hey, Elaine. Nice song. -You too.
-Hey, Jen. -Hi. Thanks for the song.
-It was very entertaining. -Good.
-So how was your birthday? -Okay.
-And you and Raymond? -He's a dink.
He thinks you still love me because of the song.
I told him there just aren't a lot of songs like "Let's Just Be Friends. "
He's a dink.
-So you set him straight? -I tried.
-Maybe you should set him straight. -Or l could set you straight.
I still love you, Jen.
-Please don't mess with me like that. -No, l'm not. . . .
I'm not messing with you.
It seems like when we're together, we do nothing but fight, but l love you.
So you wanna--?
-Get back. -Yeah.
Yeah, l do.
-Would you consider it? -Okay.
I've considered it.
-She's where? -At Logan Airport.
-Did she scam you? -She thinks so.
She's being followed. She'll be arrested on the airplane.
-I don't understand. -I'm an undercover police officer.
-You'll likely be called as witnesses. -Wait a second.
I'm sorry you had to be involved, but she wouldn't take the ring.
-She's good, very good. -Oh, my God.
So l wasted all that emotion in court?
Again, l apologize for having to involve you both. I couldn't avoid it.
Gerard?
-Nancy? -Is everything okay?
-I thought you went to the airport? -Yeah, l picked up a friend.
How did you know l went? lt was last-second.
Oh, no.
What's wrong? Did the court reverse its ruling?
-You better tell her, detective. -Detective?
This man had no intention of marrying you.
He's an undercover policeman working on a sting.
Is this true?
I'm sorry. We were convinced you'd try to strike again.
Oh.
Did you hear? Glenn and Jenny just got back together.
-They did? -Aren't you just devastated?
-I'm not as crushed as you are, l see. -I want you to know l'm here for you.
-Yes, what am l gonna do about that? -Ally, did you hear?
Yes, Elaine broke it to me ever so gently.
-So we should go out. Say the word. -Oink.
Whatever.
-You're cute, in a slutty way. -And men on the rebound just love me.
-I'm sorry. -Yeah.
Now l know what it feels like.
The person l really hate at the moment is me.
For the first time, l truly understand what l was.
-Lousy view. -There'll be other men to love, Nancy.
I'm not sure l deserve one.
-Hello. -Hello.
Corretta, if you could come out? l'm going to address the office.
Is it gonna be a long speech or. . .?
Sorry.
When l was a young boy, l used to race ponies at county fairs.
Every Friday night, we'd roll into a different fairground. . .
. . .get our ponies situated in the stables, pitch our tents. . .
. . .and prepare for a weekend of competition.
I can't say l recall a single race, but what l do remember vividly. . .
. . .is how at the end of the day, we'd all get together.
All these racers and farm hands.
We'd talk, and we'd laugh. We'd tell the most forgettable of stories.
We'd just laugh.
My uncle used to say, "Laughing and riding a bicycle. . .
. . .two things you never forget how to do. "
Yet lately, as l've taken measure of my life. . .
. . .and as l look at you, l see people who still know how to ride a bike. . .
. . .but whose next smile will come from getting leather interior in a new car.
What's happened here?
Get a spare minute, and we ponder the fixed rate versus the variable.
Close our eyes and dream of owning oceanfront property.
What's happened?
Three weeks ago, l left this world of things.
I went back to some of those fairgrounds.
I was trying to remember the people. . . .
Trying to revive in myself the ability to rejoice in the company of others.
That's why l left. But as to why l came back?
I think perhaps l realized that what l was looking for. . .
. . .this is the place to find it.
Right here in these walls with the people l love.
I wish l could offer something more complicated. I can't.
Sometimes, things are simple.
Carry on, then.
-Why are you crying? -Well. . . .
What he said was so beautiful and so fundamentally profound that. . . .
Should l love John Cage?
He represents so many things l want in a man, and he'd be a great father.
Well, Allison, you're begging the assumption that love can be voluntary.
True love can often be reduced to three anecdotal questions:
Could you raise children with him?
Could you sit by a fire, talking about life. . .
. . .a movie, perhaps a book you read? And how would you feel. . .
. . .about him suckling a little whipped cream out of your navel?
Romance would have begotten a different expression.
-Does true love have to be romantic? -For most people? No.
For you? Well, l have a test for that, and answer me honestly.
A lot of my patients lie.
When you're home and the phone rings. . .
. . .what's your very first thought?
Larry.
So much for John Cage.
OLD LADY: You stinker!
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