So you guys are going out on back-to-back nights?
You must really like this Hannah girl.
Well, she's funny,
- she's gorgeous... - Mm-hmm.
And like me, she understands mid-century design,
but she's over it.
Well, a burrito toast to that.
Citizens of Charm City...
You know what you should add
to your bucket list?
Sky diving!
Aah!
My boy!
I don't know what to say.
Well, most people go with "thank you."
Then I'm gonna say "thanks" because I'm not most people.
Oh, my God. We met Green Fury!
I guess we know what you're talking about
over dinner with Hannah tonight.
Who?
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --
Uh, excuse me? Do you validate the parking?
Oh, no, that's not me.
I'm actually the Senior Vice President
of Research and Development.
Oh, but you sit at the receptionist's desk?
No, no, no, no.
That's the receptionist's desk.
This is the Senior Vice President's desk.
I'll just get you the stickers.
I swear to God, if you do this,
I will send my lawyer to your house
to shave your head in your sleep!
This is not a bluff, Mother!
Emily, have your parents ever done
that thing where they turn your childhood bedroom
into a second butler's pantry?
No.
They kept me and my sister's room the same.
- Bunk beds and all. - Bunk beds?
Were you raised in a prison?
Van, did you know I'm the only Senior Vice President
in this building who doesn't have a real office?
Emily, you thrive in the cubicles.
You're like a tropical fish that lives in the coral reef,
but if you took that fish out,
and gave it its own office...
- it would die. - What?
- Fish need water. - Van, it's hard enough
getting people to take me seriously
when they think I'm the person who validates their parking.
I think at your age being entrusted with
parking stickers speaks to your character.
I know an office doesn't really mean anything,
but to me it's a symbol of how hard I've worked
to get here.
It's like the pride a butler feels
when he gets a second pantry.
- Oh, they love that. - Yeah.
Emily, nothing would make me happier
than to give you your own office...
But...?
- No buts. - Oh.
However, there's no space,
so... no can do.
Swim away, little fish. Seriously, get out.
Look, do I like Hannah? Yes.
But there's just something special about Green Fury.
Sure, she could fly and shoot fire out of her hands...
- Yeah. - But you said Hannah
could quote any "Seinfeld" episode.
Now that's special.
"Seinfeld."
So underrated.
Okay, it doesn't matter
because super heroes don't date regular people.
- What about Lois Lane? - She won a Pulitzer.
You write satirical Yelp reviews.
- As a hobby. - This is silly.
You're never even gonna see Green Fury again.
I mean, unless you fall off
another balcony.
Or she can't stop thinking about me, either,
and she's trying to find me.
- Huh. - Uh...
I would go balcony.
Jackie!
Yeah, I was upset when Mother sent me
my childhood toys, but I am really enjoying
this trip down memory lane.
It seems like just yesterday that I was playing with
- My Little Pony. - Aww, my daughter loves hers.
- Won't put it down. - I put mine down.
Horse cancer.
Your meeting with Emily is about to start.
She wanted to do it in her new office.
Emily doesn't have an office.
Remember that room you had sealed off
because you found a spider?
She opened Hell's Gate?
She said that she had a meeting
with a couple execs from the Gotham office
and needed a space.
My, my, my.
You see what she's doing here?
No, but I'm very excited
to hear what you think she's doing.
She's trying to cut out the middle Van.
First it's the office.
Second, she's setting up meetings
with corporate without me.
The next thing you know, she's gonna be the one
high-fiving Bruce Wayne in a threesome.
Well, I am going to put an end to this.
I can't believe I have my own office.
I have been dreaming about this ever since I was a little girl.
Wow, so you've been this boring your whole life?
Oh! Take a picture of me to send to my family.
Ooh, okay.
Oh. No, that's...
That's not what I me... Okay.
Is that photo for your mug shot?
Because I'm looking at a criminal.
How did you get this office?
You said there was no space, so I went to HR
and they said I could have this office
if I cleared out the spiders.
Which you did, right? I mean, there are no longer...
spiders in here?
Look, HR was mistaken. If you had talked to me,
you would know that I have huge plans...
to turn this into...
- a storage room. - Are you kidding me?
You have till the end of the day
to get back into your work pen.
Tarantula!
God! They jump at your face...
and...
You know, it's not often you see such a modest dream
crushed so quickly.
Ooh, say "cubicle."
He really thinks he can take my office from me
and I'm just gonna sit here and watch it go down?
That's literally what's happening right now.
If you're surprised by that, you clearly don't understand
the teetering house of cards that is Van's ego.
This is a man who won't let anybody see him sneeze
because he thinks it's a sign of weakness.
He won't even kiss me because he says
it's against company policy. What a pussy.
If I could give you just one piece of advice.
Don't just march in there and... She's gone.
Another outstanding shot, sir!
Thank you for your vanilla commentary, Steve,
but the only reason you are here is to walk
the arrows back... oh! Snag me another Ring Pop.
This one's down to the bone.
Van, I want my office back.
Emily, once a space opens up,
I'll be happy to give it to you,
but now, I'm in the middle of something...
very important.
Ooh! Better luck next time, sir.
That is where I was aiming, you dote!
Oh, Green Arrow Darts.
I used to have this game as a kid.
- You any good? - I haven't lost a match
- in my life. - Well, neither have I.
I wonder who's better.
You know what, Emily, once you throw down
that gauntlet, it can not be unthrown.
I don't want to unthrow it.
- Good, 'cause you can't. - Good.
- Good.
Steve, what the hell, man?
- Pick your moments! - I'll tell you what.
Why don't we play tomorrow during lunch?
If I win, your "storage room"
goes back to being my office.
- Ha! Steve! - Ha!
If you win, you can turn it into
a unicorn stable for all I care
because that's a fairytale! Ha! Ha!
Oh, snap! It is on!
Hey, Teddy.
What you up to, buddy?
What wizard did this to you?
Pretty convincing, huh?
Now I just gotta
set this trap, dig a snare, and reel in the bait.
I don't know anything about hunting.
Oh, Teddy, is it possible that you've
built up this encounter because a beautiful woman
literally came out of the clouds and saved your life?
Nah, she's into me, dude.
All right.
Careful, citizen.
The Olympian might not be there next time.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Uh, you seem disappointed.
No, no, no, yeah, I'm alive, man.
That's great. Awesome, thanks, man.
Thanks. Thank you.
Dick.
Put down that tiny bow!
- You cannot beat Van. - Oh, no, I can.
I am pretty good.
Well, let me rephrase. You ought not beat Van.
Why? He took my office from me.
She's dreamt about that since she was
a really boring child.
Look, honey, we all think you deserve that office.
But there's something bigger at stake here.
I think there's something you need to see.
Employee of the Month?
I didn't even know we had this room.
Oh, it's one of the many things we keep from you.
Like the secret bathroom on the sales floor
that's always empty and... does not exist.
- I don't know why I said that. - Mmn-hmm.
We make sure Van wins every month
because there was one time he didn't.
Recognize this lady?
- No. - Exactly.
Kate won her first month here.
So, when Van caught her taking a "company croissant"
from a staff meeting home with her...
He fired her on the spot.
And after he demanded a "recount,"
it turned out Van actually won.
I don't know.
Yeah!
Whoo!
So you guys give him this every month
just to stroke his ego?
Oh, no, no, no. We do it to survive.
If you beat Van, it won't just be bad for you,
it will be bad for all of us.
Which is why you're going to throw this game.
Fine.
Van's ready to destroy you.
Do you enjoy being his little bitch?
It's called a squire, Emily.
Van!
Are we gonna do this or what?
And now... please welcome
the one, the only...
Vanderveer "Bring the Pain"
Wayne Junior!
Wa-bow!
I hope you said good-bye to your loved ones
because I'm gonna skin you alive
and wear you to your own funeral.
All I can do is try my best and hope for a positive outcome.
Where did you learn to trash talk?
At the puppies... and rainbows school...
for sunshine?
Boom.
Oh! Boom!
- Yes! Yes! Yes! - Whoo!
Van.
Missed again.
Dang.
Great shot!
Not.
Boom!
Hey, Emily, could you run and get me
eight hours worth of parking stickers
'cause I could do this all day!
Ooh.
Looks like I just needed to get a little warmed up.
Time out!
What are you doing?
You fed this monster's ego for far too long.
I'm giving him a dose of reality.
- Look at him. - You are the greatest.
- I know that. - You are the strongest.
- I am aware. - You are the fastest.
- Yes! - Does that look like a man
who wants to face reality?
Excellent bone structure.
- This is good, too, the lats. - Oh, yeah.
- Really good... - Keep it above the waist.
- Above the waist. - When I get this...
And I will... I get my office back.
Huh?
In your face!
Oh, yes!
I am a god! I am a god!
Is there something different about the office today?
Yeah. Why am I so, like...
comfortable?
We got new chairs!
Hey!
- Thanks, Van. - Take it easy.
Good morning!
♪ What a beautiful day but scones'll make it better ♪
- Oh! - ♪ Wouldn't you say ♪
♪ You can say thank you if you will... ♪
Hey... grab one.
Bear claw, good choice, Rebecca.
That's right, I learned your name.
I learned everybody's names.
Emily...
I've been thinking.
Even though you lost the match
and the office is mine to do with whatever I want,
I'm going to give it to you anyway.
Because that's the kind of guy I am.
Did you hear that, gang?
I love you, Van.
Kay, Lee, Malcolm,
Zoey, Simon...
Puffy Haired guy.
Look at that.
Now normally we just roll over and he leaves us alone,
but I guess the real trick is to put up a fight
but ultimately let him humiliate you.
Okay, first of all, I wasn't even trying until halfway.
We all got what we wanted here.
He got a win, you got the office,
and I don't have to make his coffee,
he's doing it himself.
Well... he's trying.
Anyway, the point is, you got what you wanted,
so who cares how it happened?
How do you guys drink this stuff?
Are you sure you should be shining a 20,000-watt light
into the night sky?
Uh, ever heard of the Bat Signal?
It's actually kind of a genius plan.
She's gonna see her trademark GF Flame in the sky,
zip on down, next thing you know,
she's wearing me like a backpack and we're halfway to Tokyo
for some Wagyu beef.
Well, this is certainly a good story to tell
the woman you actually end up marrying.
Okay, speaking of picking up on signals,
I'm sending a pretty clear one for you to beat it, Ron.
Wait...
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, shoot.
My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby.
Aah!
You know what? Maybe I should call Hannah.
Yeah. Get her some flowers.
Nice.
Hey, does this look straight to you?
Van, I want a rematch.
No, he won fair and square.
- Come on. - No!
Emily, all a rematch would do is rob you
of what is clearly a much needed lesson
in how to lose with a little class.
Oh, and you're going to teach it to me?
Oh, no, of course not.
I've never lost at anything.
The closest I've come to failure is when I spelled it
to win the regional Spelling Bee.
Oh.
Failure. F-A-L-U-R-E.
Failure.
That's right, Emily! That's how it's spelled!
Emily, don't feel bad. There is a long list
of some very talented people who have fallen
at the feet of Vanderveer Wayne.
You beat Dr. Dre in a rap battle?
He had me on my heels until I hit him with...
"Dr. Dre, man, you gay."
You gotta remember, this was the '90s
and that kind of casual homophobia was commonplace.
Oh, "Best Bod, Daytona Beach 1998?"
What is...
"Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Champion."
- The same year? - Delish.
Oh, my God. How deep does this go?
Somebody pull the fire alarm!
People have been letting you win your whole life
so you would never have to experience F-A-I-L-U-R-E
What is that? The French spelling?
Your family and everyone in your life
have been going to insane lengths
to make you think you're a winner.
- That is not true! - Oh, yeah?
Ask Jackie whether or not you've really been
Employee of the Month for the past four years.
Oh, but I guess I'm not
telling you anything you didn't already know,
because you were "Most Perceptive Baby of 1971."
Get out.
Get out!
Both of you. Get out!
God...
Was that even you, Dr. Dre?
Are you even a doctor?
He hasn't moved all morning.
It's like watching an iguana.
- Ew. - Well, you broke him, Emily.
That's not the way a man who wants to live sneezes.
Trust me, this is better for everybody in the long run.
We can't keep tip-toeing around his ego.
His ego? You're the one who eviscerated
a grown man because you couldn't handle losing a kids game.
Okay, it's possible I don't like losing,
but it was more about the principle.
That you deserved your own office.
- Yes. - Which he had already given
to you before you did that to him.
Crap.
It's really great to see you, Hannah.
I'm so glad I figured out that snafu
where my phone was dropping calls and couldn't send texts.
I'm assuming you fixed it by switching it off B.S. mode?
You're lucky you're cute.
Whoa!
Ow!
Oh, I just peed a little.
I believe this is yours.
Oh, hey, you're the guy from the balcony.
You guys out on a date?
No.
You look great.
It kinda looks like you're out on a date.
- Hey. - Cool.
- I'm gonna...
Great.
Hey, boss.
How we feeling?
You were right. There is an "I" in "failure"
and it's I.
Me. Uh... me... my... I don't...
I can't even grammar properly!
It's all a lie!
Was I actually prom king and did my date really like me
or was she just another flunky on the Wayne payroll?
Oh, well, she seems... nice.
- Who is this fella? - Oh, that's her uncle,
Silky Valentine. He was our chaperone.
Oh, my God.
She was a who...
No one has ever loved me!
Okay, that's not true.
Your parents put an obscene amount of time and effort
into making sure you never experienced even one moment
of disappointment.
They must've really cared about you.
You know, you haven't lost at everything.
You did beat me at the Green Arrow game
all by yourself.
That's right... I did.
See? There you go.
I destroyed you!
- It was very close. - Eh.
Look, we don't need to be squaring off like this.
We are on the same team, and if we both refuse to lose,
then we can accomplish great things.
You're right, I-I don't need to be threatened
by your wins, 'cause your wins are my wins.
And your losses, I can just blame on you.
- That's not exactly... - Emily!
I am back!
Now get out of my office 'cause I'm about to sneeze.
- Oh. - I'm gonna sneeze.
Get out!
Oh, good, it's gone.
That wasn't that bad.
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --