(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time?
Is this the '50s
Or 1999?
All I wanted to do
Was play my guitar and sing
So take me away I don't mind
But you better promise me I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
COMPUTER: Five, four, three...
Two, One...
Begin transmission, Dr. Brown.
Greetings, space travelers!
Amateur astronaut Emmett L. Brown here,
at the Hill Valley Space Center and Air Sickness Clinic,
suiting up for a trip into outer space.
Our local cable company has been getting complaints about the reception,
so I'm going to overhaul their communications satellite.
In return, they've promised me free cable service, plus premium channels.
This isn't the first experience I've had
in the field of television broadcasting.
It all started when Marty was studying for his astronomy class.
MARTY: The Sun has a mean distance
from the Earth of about 93 million miles,
and the Space Shuttle is capable of speeds of up to 18,000 miles per hour.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, but what kind of a stereo system does it have?
(SCREAMING)
(CRASHING)
Perhaps a short length of surplus copper conduit.
As today's youngsters might say, tubular!
(LAUGHS)
Halt!
Footwear serves no purpose in this invention.
(GLASS SHATTERING) Well, one less window to wash.
(LAUGHING)
Hey, quit playing footsie, Doc.
Martin!
I don't remember putting you in the original design.
It might actually work, though.
Doc, I need your help.
Question 27, how long would it take to make a trip around the Sun?
Just use your head!
Marty, I want you to meet the beautiful Marie.
You mean the kid's got a new babysitter?
Whoa, where is she?
This is Marie. Memory Archive Recall Indexer and Enhancer.
Well, what does she do?
I mean besides run up your electric bill?
She, uh... Well, she uh...
Let me think here for a nanosecond.
(GRUNTING AND MUMBLING)
Oh, yes, now I remember... Now I remember... Now I remember...
Marie allows you to recall any memory, such as the importance of wearing oven mitts
when handling anything above 50 degrees Celsius.
(GRUNTS)
Uh... Great.
Now, about my science problem.
Marty.
Giving you the answer would be cheating.
However, feel free to use my vast library.
Now, there's just one slight defect in Marie.
Ow! That's not right!
This is the wrong wrench.
ANNOUNCER: Put on your thinking caps, kids.
It's Mr. Wisdom time!
Cool enough, neighbors?
Cool enough, Mr. Wisdom!
Verne, it is unwise to sit so close, as the radiation is harmful.
Duh!
That's why I got sunblock.
With that science phony on the air, I suggest you block the screen.
Okay, Einstein, play deceased.
(COUGHING)
(SPITS)
Hey, what's eating Einie?
What he's not eating.
"K-9 Krunchy, is a natural, meatless snack
"made from soybean meal, skim milk, enzyme cultures, and rolled oats."
Mmm, good!
Martin?
Uh, no thanks Jules.
I just had a big bowl of cat food.
Hey, pipe down!
Some people are trying to watch quality television.
Bubbling beakers!
We have simulated atomic energy!
Cool enough, neighbors?
Cool enough, Mr. Wisdom!
Now, Wis Kids, quiz me this.
What TVstar is driving his Big Brain Bus to your local mall?
Major Dad?
That's right. It's me, Mr. Wisdom!
VERNE: Even better!
And I'll be visiting Hill Valley, California tomorrow afternoon.
Cool enough, neighbors?
Cool enough!
Oops.
(CHEERS)
He's coming to town!
I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of...
Chumps.
Uh, I wanna go with you, Verne.
I bet Mr. Wisdom will answer my trip around the Sun question.
Marty, were you able to locate the proper...
(SCREAMS)
DOC: What in the name of Thomas Alva Edison is that?
You mean the crack, Pop?
No, I mean the crack pot, that Mr...
Whoa!
(GRUNTING)
What is all the ruckus?
That's what I call a crash course in literature.
Oh, Marie...
Emmett, mumbling about another woman.
How could you?
VERNE: Marty, this is so way cool!
We get to see Mr. Wisdom in person!
And live!
Yeah, Verne.
Thrill a minute.
(HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING) He's the wizard of ooh's Mr. Know-It-All
He's got the biggest brain
And a crystal ball
He's the modern-day Merlin, another Einstein
Put on your thinking caps, it's Mr. Wisdom time
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Bubbling beakers, Wis Kids!
Due to my busy, busy schedule, I only have time to say "Hi."
However, please take advantage of the incredible bargains
at the official Mr. Wisdom Discount Lab.
Cool enough, neighbors?
ALL: Cool enough, Mr. Wisdom!
That's it?
What a rip off!
Let's hit the Big Brain Bus and try to get an autograph.
Yeah, and the answer to my science problem.
MR. WISDOM: Let's see. We sold 6,000 Mr. Wisdom pennants
at $39 each.
Those little twerps are gonna make me rich.
Excuse me, Mr. Wisdom?
How'd you get in here?
Uh... I mean, hello little Wis Kid!
Come... Come here and shake hands with Mr. Wisdom.
(SCREAMING)
I swear the next kid that sneaks in here is gonna meet the lab rats gone bad.
VERNE: I hear him in there.
Uh... Don't you think we should knock?
Nah.
Mr. Wisdom loves us Wis Kids.
(KNOCKING)
VERNE: Oh, Mr. Wisdom?
Anybody home?
Ah. I never thought the inside of a brain would have such nice carpeting.
(BOTH YELLING)
Hello.
Bubbling beakers!
It's you, Mr. Wisdom.
We thought those creepy hands belonged to a crazy maniac, or something.
How absurd!
By chance, do you boys like household pets?
Or should I say pests?
(WISDOM CACKLING)
WISDOM: Meet the lab rats, gone bad.
Something tells me they haven't had their shots.
Way neat!
My dad would never do experiments this awesome.
I don't know Verne.
Doc Brown has a brain about the size of one of those rats.
Doc Brown?
Doctor Emmett Lathrop Brown?
Lathrop?
Oh, so that's what the "L" stands for.
You know my pop?
Emmett Brown happens to be my dearest, oldest friend.
What say we go surprise him?
VERNE: This is his laboratory,
but I guess he's not here right now.
(THUDDING)
Why don't you boys go find good old Emmett,
and I'll wait here, in case he returns.
Or, we could wait here, and...
Well, looky, looky, looky.
It's an Emmett Brown smorgasbord.
Not a fly swatter, but a fly trap, rehabilitation, and release center.
Brilliant!
A device that makes peanut butter inside the shell?
(GASPING) Genius!
And, hello.
What's this?
Can it be? His old college dream?
Oh, not a flux capacitor?
(MAN HUMMING)
And other alliterative scat syllables.
So. We meet again, Em.
Wisdom!
Not you! I've waited decades for my revenge!
(GROANS)
Argh! My eyes.
That's the E. L. B. Sunshine Umbrella for rainy day tans, you sneak!
And now my heat-seeking rat trap will ensnare you like the vermin that you are.
Whoa!
DOC: Next time, use the door, you crook!
Hey, Pop, what gives with Mr. Wisdom?
The answer to that, Verne, involves a very long flashback.
DOC: Years ago, Walter Wisdom and I were roomies and frat brothers
at the American College of Technological Sciences and Difficult Math.
(BOTH SINGING) We pledge our brains as thinking men
To A. C. T. S. and D. M.
Dearest Emmett, I've finished my entry
for the Intercollegiate Science Invent-Off.
It's a doggie diaper to save lawn and sidewalk clean-up.
That's swell, Walter.
Using a battery and internal gyros, I've perfected the perpetual motion hula hoop,
ending the stress and injury caused by this wacky fad.
DOC: But when Invent-Off time arrived, I couldn't find my purple hoop.
And the first prize goes to...
Walter Wisdom, for his perpetual motion hula hoop.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
Say it is a fib!
DOC: Wisdom signed a lucrative contract with a toy-maker,
which led to a new national craze.
And as a final blow, Walt was given his own TVshow.
ANNOUNCER: It's Mr. Wisdom time!
And so ends my flashback.
(SNIFFLES)
And I hadn't seen him since, until today.
Gadzooks! These onions are strong!
Pop, if I'd known he was such a mega-weasel,
I wouldn't have brought him here.
The fibber said he was your best friend.
Now to borrow a few more of dear old Emmett's inventions.
That trusting fool! Not even a car alarm.
(DOG BARKING)
(CRASHING)
Somebody stole the DeLorean!
And didn't use the door!
It must be Wisdom!
Why, this is no time machine. It's merely a souped-up
and no doubt overpriced automobile.
DOC: If he reaches 88 miles per hour, the DeLorean will be lost forever!
JULES: Not if we utilize the Magnascope 4000.
Male bovine's optic, brother!
Bulls-eye, indeed, Julie!
That rapscallion is heading for Ancient Egypt.
I take that back, he's there now!
And since Mr. Brainless was no help, I thought
I'd borrow a few more reference materials.
Put on your hunting cap, Marty. It's Mr. Wisdom time!
(CRASHING)
Emmett, I think Verne fell out of bed again.
Now, stack that one there.
No, no. It's still not right.
MAN: Watch it, watch it!
Oh. A pyramid!
That's the shape I've been striving for!
What in the...
It's Brown!
That low-down snake must have more than one flux capacitor.
DOC: Prepare tow-bar torpedo!
VERNE: Loaded and ready!
DOC: Fire!
Nailed it!
A time-tow link up, is it?
Why, that scoundrel!
We'll see how cheaters prosper over Krakatoa in 1883!
WISDOM: There she is, ready to blow.
Hmm. No, no, no! No, no, no, no!
Yes!
Sorry, but this line has been disconnected.
Cool enough, neighbors?
Or should I say, hot enough, suckers?
(LAUGHING)
ANNOUNCER: And here's Arsenio!
(BARKING)
Einstein...
Where is everybody? (BARKING)
What are they doing on the roof?
(BARKING)
Heavens to Betsy Ross!
Well, who could have stolen the DeLorean?
MAN: We interrupt this program for an illegal broadcast from somewhere off-shore.
Hello, friends. Mr. Wisdom here.
Do you long for life when things were simpler or wonder what the future may hold?
That's why I'm here now to offer you the greatest discovery
of our time, or anytime.
Mr. Wisdom's Time Machine!
But that's Emmett's invention, you buzzard!
And for only $999,995
you can change your life, over and over again until the very end of time.
Just pick up the phone and dial 5-5-5-FLUX.
That's 5-5-5-F-L-U-X.
DOC: Halt, you scoff law!
WISDOM: Brown! It can't be!
Emmett! It is!
My full-body oven mitts are the perfect protection against molten lava.
Yeah, but they're kinda tough to hang on the refrigerator door.
Now, Wisdom, hand over my DeLorean this instant.
You're a fake, Brown.
You know nothing of science.
Galloping Galileo!
Who?
Why don't we settle this once and for all with a little contest?
Bravo, Martin.
A fair examination and correlation of each man's scientific prowess.
MARTY: For round one, let's go to Dr. Emmett Brown of Hill Valley, California!
For starters... This is one of my recent inventions.
Your invention, indeed!
I developed the Sunshine Umbrella back before I could even talk.
Ah, the good old days.
Actually, it's a sunny day shower spout for people who like to walk in the rain!
Ha ha!
MARTY: That's round one to Emmett Brown.
Let's go to Mr. Wisdom for round two.
(STUTTERING) Here's my patented Walter Wisdom Come-And-Get-It Lunchbox.
Lunch!
Come and get it!
Top that, Brown.
DOC: I will.
By activating the E. L. B.
Lunchbox Burglar Deterrent.
MARTY: And that's round two to Doc Emmett L. Brown!
Go, Emmett!
Now, for round three, let's go to...
Enough of this foofarwaw!
My next invention shall settle this argument once and for all.
The Memory Archive Recall Indexer and Enhancer.
Marie, for short.
So, that's Marie, I should have known it'd be one of Emmett's kooky inventions.
(STUTTERS) Doc, he stole your whatcha-ma-call-it...
With this device I can recall any memory,
any fact, any piece of information I have learned in my lifetime.
Mr. Wisdom.
Are you okay?
(BABBLING)
MARTY: And Walter Wisdom loses all three rounds!
(BOY CHUCKLING)
(THUDDING)
Father, what went wrong with Marie?
Well, as I told Martin yesterday, Marie has one defect.
She only works in reverse.
You forget everything.
Well, that's our show! Goodnight, everybody!
Great show, wasn't it, Einie?
Einie? (SNORING)
VERNE: Pop, you really are the coolest scientist of all time.
Thanks, Vernie.
MARTY: Uh, just... Just one question, Doc.
So, tell me just how long does it take to travel around the Sun?
The answer is 365 days.
Sure, us Earthlings do it every year.
DOC: Cool enough, neighbors?
(JULES AND VERNE) Cool enough, Doc Brown!
That Walter Wisdom... He should be called Walter-is-dumb!
Now, where is that satellite?
This should be its orbit.
You see, satellites circle or orbit the Earth
just as the Moon circles the Earth,
and the Earth circles the Sun.
However, a communications satellite travels at the exact same speed
as the Earth spins.
The satellite constantly remains over one spot, relative to the ground.
This means it's easy to find
which is why the cable company is having problems.
It's not here anymore.
Satellites are supposed to stay in their orbits.
But why?
Access video encyclopedia, section "O" for "Orbit."
COMPUTER: Section "O."
Entry, "Orbit,"
DOC: Why does the Earth spin around the Sun?
Because of the Sun's pull of gravity, and our own planet's inertia.
Inertia means that an object at rest tends to stay at rest,
while an object in motion tends to stay in motion.
You can test this yourself by setting a penny on top of a nickel.
Now flip a second nickel at the first one.
See?
The first nickel flies out, while the penny simply drops down.
The nickel you flipped has inertia.
It's moving, and wants to keep moving.
The inertia is transferred to the other nickel.
The penny is at rest, and wants to stay that way.
That's why it drops down.
The Earth is flying through space, and its inertia
would cause it to fly in a straight line,
if not for the force of gravity pulling it toward the Sun.
This force of gravity is also called centripetal force.
It's opposite, the inertia which pulls the Earth in a straight line,
is known as centrifugal force.
You can feel this force when going around a corner in your family's car.
You can make a model of a space satellite,
using a ball, some tape, a toilet paper tube, a length of string,
modeling clay, and a small bag.
Place the clay in the bag, and tie it closed with one end of the string.
Run the string through the tube, and tie the other end around the ball.
Holding the tube in one hand and the clay in the other, whirl the ball over your head.
The weight of the clay represents gravity, pulling on the spinning ball.
Now watch what happens when the weight of the clay is removed completely.
The ball's inertia takes over, and it flies off in a straight line.
Be careful. You should try this experiment outdoors,
and make sure nobody is standing nearby.
The best part of working on these babies is being close enough
to get the best TV reception on Earth.
Or off it.
Great Scott!
What's this?
A documentary on the great scientists of the 20th Century.
I wonder if they mention me.
I can't miss this.
See you in the future!