(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time?
Is this the '50s
Or 1999?
All I wanted to do
Was play my guitar and sing
So take me away I don't mind
But you better promise me I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
FEMALE VOICE: Commence transmission, Doctor Brown.
Doctor Brown?
DOC: I'm down here! On this island.
Captain Emmett L. Brown here,
stranded somewhere in the Caribbean.
Searching for Jamaica.
I set sail in the S. S. Clara.
Plotting a course along the mid-1600s route
of the notorious buccaneer Henry Morgan.
Using only ocean currents and trade winds for power.
Just as the pirates did.
In this way I hoped I might locate
some pirate's buried treasure.
Unfortunately, I neglected to bring along a compass.
You know, at one time my son, Verne, wanted to be a pirate,
well, actually, what he really wanted
was an earning.
Or was It a tattoo? Hmm...
DOC: This one's a bit complicated,
so I'll let Marty explain it.
MARTY: I guess it all started when I lied about tickets
for The Walk-DMC concert.
Just my luck, it was sold out.
Hey, big guy.
(CHUCKLES) It's like this.
My girlfriend, Jennifer, asked me two months ago
to buy tickets for the concert,
and I sort of forgot.
But I told her I was a friend of a friend of the drummer,
and he could get us front row seats...
And then, after the concert,
we could maybe go backstage,
meet the band, have some pizza.
(BELCHES) Uh, okay,
so we're too late for the pizza.
Anyway, I thought if you had any leftover passes.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Well, what do you say, pal?
Whoa!
Eh, slight problemo with those tickets, Jen.
I knew it.
Marty, why didn't you just buy them when I asked?
(STAMMERING) Uh, no really, the band's all sick,
and, they went home with the Tiberian Flu.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING)
Marty, you are such a liar.
Hey, Jennifer, doing anything tonight?
Yes.
I'm saying good-bye to Marty McFibber.
Okay, so they're not sick but,
after the concert they're coming over
to my garage for a jam session.
MARTY: Meanwhile, over at Doc Brown's place.
(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)
Oucha-ma-goucha!
Clara! Jules! Come witness!
Can it wait?
I'm in the middle of washing my hair.
My theory was right!
Inventing to music is fun!
Good exercise, too!
What's it's function, father?
At last.
No more time-consuming and messy hand canning
of our home grown toe-may-toes.
It's toe-mah-toes, fayther
I mean father.
(WHIRRING)
What the...
Father! Emmett!
Now that was a jarring experience.
What in the name of Sir Isaac... A-ha!
This crucial lug nut is missing a number two washer!
Hiya, Pop! Notice anything new about my ear?
Why, yes! You've finally cleaned it!
No! My earring.
DOC: How very pretty!
Oops! That's my number two washer!
It's just an old piece of metal
I found on some old hunk of junk!
Mmm.
Sour cherry, not bad.
Verne Newton Brown,
what have I told you about getting an earring?
VERNE: Nothin'.
Dry cleaning, math tests, DeLorean.
Oh, I knew I forgot something.
Well, don't get one.
But if I get a earring,
the cool kids will stop makin' fun of my coonskin cap.
Why don't you cease wearing the coonskin cap?
Are you kiddin'?
All the cool kids love it!
Now you heard your mother, Vernie.
No ear adornments.
And stay out of my hunk of ju... Ah, er, invention.
(GROANS)
It's no stinkin' fair.
All right! Pirates!
Hey, I bet if I was a pirate, I could get a earring.
And maybe even make my skunkhead brother walk the plank.
MARTY: If I'd known I was gonna do this much walkin',
I wouldn't have worn that underwear that rides up.
(CAR APPROACHING)
Whoa!
Watch it, Marty!
You almost made me crash.
Hey, Verne, give me a ride back to my car, will ya?
Okay, but first I gotta run an errand.
Hey, where we goin', anyway?
To the Caribbean.
All right! I hear they've got some great beaches.
And I'm in the market for a new girlfriend.
The captain said to bury the chest where no one'll find it.
"X" marks the spot.
(CRACKLING)
(SCREAMING)
(DOC READING)
DOC: And now, Back to the Future!
MARTY: Oh, two seconds into the 17th century
and we already found pirate's treasure.
What do you think's in there?
Gold? Diamonds?
Pieces of Eight?
Ah, more like pairs of eight-and-a-halfs.
Cool! We can dress up like pirates!
MARTY: So, the little guy and I decided to head into town
and see what was happening.
Hey, Verne, these Caribbean seaports can be pretty rough.
Let's stick together.
Marty, look!
A earring and tattoo store!
See ya!
Hey! Hey, Verne, wait a second!
Mister, how much for earrings?
Oh, a buccaneer.
That's cheap! I'll take two!
Hey, ya little... (RUMBLING)
Whoa! (NEIGHING)
Whoa!
(NEIGHING)
Whoa! Baby!
Señorita Maria, you must cheer up.
How can I? Tomorrow our ship sails for Spain.
And I have yet to meet the man of my dreams.
Mac the Black.
(MARIA EXCLAIMS) (GRUNTS)
Oh, you have saved my life, señor... Señor...
Uh, Black.
Mac the Black.
(SQUEALS) Mac the Black!
(CHUCKLES) I have this effect on all women.
(GASPS) Mac the Black!
MAN: Excuse me, señor. Who did she say you are?
Eh, Mac the Black.
In the name of King Charles II of Spain,
I place you under arrest.
(STAMMERING) Did I say Mac the Black?
Ha! No. No.
I meant I'll be right back.
Ah-ha! Perfect!
I suppose this stuff isn't dishwasher safe either.
Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
Whoa!
(WATER SPLASHING)
SOLDIER: He must have gone this way!
(GASPING)
This Mac the Black thing is for the birds.
You are the infamous Mac the Black?
Uh... It depends.
(WHISTLES)
This is Mac the Black.
Captain Mac the Black,
we have traveled from all over the seven seas
to offer our services
to the greatest pirate of all time.
Oh, great.
Who's that?
Oh, oh, ah, you mean, me?
We have a ship and crew awaiting your command.
We sail at once!
MARTY: Ah, look, fellas, I think you should know
I get seasick very easily.
(ALL LAUGHING)
And stay out!
No earrings for muchachos!
What a rip off.
(READING)
All right!
MARTY: (SIGHS) Bummer!
Here I am, the most feared pirate on the seven seas
and I'm practically a prisoner on my own ship.
(GROANS)
We've been at sea for hours now.
Verne could be a hundred miles away.
(COUGHING)
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Cabin boy Verne, cleaning the captain's windows,
oh great Pirate master.
Marty! Verne!
We gotta get outta here!
Now I know how toothpaste feels.
MARTY: Let's borrow a longboat, slip overboard.
Head to the village, find the DeLorean
and jet back to the future.
No way! I haven't finished cleaning' the windows.
Besides, I still don't got a earring.
(SIGHS) Verne! (SPLASHING)
Come back here, ya little goof!
I'm not goin' back!
You don't understand! If they find out I'm not Mac the Black,
they'll make us walk the plank or keelhaul us, or...
Give us a earring?
I wouldn't count on it.
(SCREAMING)
Ho! Land!
PIRATE: Smilin' Skull island!
ALL: Hooray!
Hooray.
Smilin' Skull island?
What's that? Like a resort or something?
You jest, Cap'n Mac the Black.
Smilin' Skull island is your hideout. (LAUGHS)
There we will team up with your old crew.
Eh, you, you mean, there's gonna be guys there who
know me?
Of course. Well,
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Look, guys, I...
(STAMMERING) I haven't been myself lately,
I lost some weight.
You look like you're about to lose your lunch.
Ahoy! Ahoy, mateys.
Clear the stinkin' gangplank
for Cap'n Mac the Black!
MARTY: Thank you, thank you for your applause.
You're, you're all terrific pirates, I'm sure.
Excuse me, are you really the Mac the Black?
Eh, that's right, son. Don't crowd me.
What? You want an autograph?
Sure, sign here.
Who should I make it out to?
Cap'n Mac the Black.
(GASPING)
(STUTTERING) To Captain Mac the B...
(CHUCKLES) Gee. I'm havin' trouble with this here pen.
(EXCLAIMS)
(SCREAMING)
After them!
He's wearin' me clothes!
Vernie! Down there!
(ALL SHOUTING)
Hey! Hey! Where are they?
I think we gave 'em the slip hidin' in the nose.
Look at me, I'm a booger.
Captain Mac the Black, they're hiding in the nose.
Then let's blow that nose.
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
(SCREAMING)
Gesundheit!
Oh, me husband came home
with another hole in his shirt.
Drat those cannonballs.
(SCREAMING)
Girl, you'll need to get a new shirt.
And a new husband.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey, it's not Saturday!
As pop would say,
(IMITATING DOC BROWN) oucha-ma-goucha!
I said no starch.
(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)
(SNIFFING)
I smell a couple of rotten scallywags in this laundry.
That's just me husband's dirty socks.
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
Fresh! (GRUNTS)
Sorry, miss.
We was lookin' for a couple of landlubbers
to string up from the highest yardarm.
How ghastly!
What a doll.
How 'bout a kiss for Captain Mac the Black?
(GIGGLES) Close your eyes.
Isn't love grand?
(GIGGLING)
Seize the wench and her little sister.
The tall one is to be me bride.
Cool.
Uh, can I be your flower girl?
(SOBBING)
Do you always cry at weddings?
No, this squeeze box
is pinching me chest hairs.
Verne, this is terrible.
No kidding.
You're getting married and your dad's not here to give you away.
(FABRIC RIPPING)
(ALL GASP)
I guess this means the wedding's off.
(PLAYING DARK TUNE)
This'll teach you to break me heart!
Marty, I'm sorry I got you into all this.
I should've never taken the DeLorean.
That's okay, Verne.
It's my fault for telling so many lies.
The worst part is, I never did get my stinkin' earring.
LOOKOUT: Ship off the starboard bow!
MAC THE BLACK: Argh! It's the Spanish navy!
And boy are they mad.
Prepare to counter attack!
Aye, aye, captain!
Verne, we gotta do something.
Okay, watch me steal second.
Safe!
Mind if I make a left turn?
(GRUNTING)
Attention all shoppers!
Big sail on pirates!
(SCREAMING)
Wow, I thought you could only do that in cartoons.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Whoa! I wanted a earring, not a haircut!
Geronimo!
Man! Next time I'm takin' the elevator.
(ALL SHOUTING)
Prepare to visit Davy Jones' locker!
Señorita Maria!
That's a special agent Señorita Maria Estrada
of the Spanish armada to you.
I want to thank you for assisting the capture
of the real Mac the Black.
And the recovery of the stolen vessel,
the flagship of the Spanish fleet.
Hey, Marty, you remember that cannonball
we shot straight up into the air?
Yeah. Why?
Look!
(SCREAMING)
Is this earring gonna hurt?
Nah. But your ear will.
(SCREAMING)
Hey, I thought you were gonna get an earring?
Ah, earrings are for chumps!
But I got a tattoo!
MARTY: Verne, your folks are gonna kill you!
Chill out, it's the kind that washes off.
(SPITS)
Oh, man, that guy fibbed!
MARTY: You know, Verne, there's nothing worse than a liar.
MARTY: So, anyway, Doc finally got his tomato machine to work.
Verne's tattoo finally wore off.
Ready, mother.
Let 'er rip, Einie!
"And I learned my lesson.
"Jennifer, I promise never to lie to you again.
"Love, Marty."
Oh, Marty, that's the sweetest letter you've ever written.
The longest, but the sweetest.
Tattoos were originally used
for religious or mystical practices.
Only in modern times are they used
primarily for bugging parents.
(BELL RINGING)
Ship ahoy! I'm saved!
Great Scott!
Pirates!
And judging from the look of that ship,
they'll be firing their cannons at me any moment!
And me, without any means to defend myself.
Ah! The bell!
(BELL RINGING)
The first cannons were upturned bells
and the first cannon balls were round stones.
Gunpowder was ignited in the bowl
which would launch the round stone cannon ball.
I have a bell.
I have a stone.
But no gunpowder.
Hmm.
There is another way to make a cannon
using ordinary household items.
If only I could remember how.
Access video encyclopedia section 'H'
for homemade cannon.
FEMALE VOICE: Section H.
Entry. Homemade cannon.
DOC: First you'll need a soda bottle,
and make sure that It's empty.
(GLUGGING)
Ah!
DOC: Very good.
Now, pour one half cup of water
and one half cup of vinegar into the bottle.
Next, place a generous teaspoon of baking soda
on to a four-by-four Inch piece of paper towel.
Roll up the paper and twist the ends
to keep the baking soda inside.
Finally, you'll need an average cork.
This will function as your cannon ball.
Now, let's move outside.
Where there's plenty of available altitude.
Drop the roll of paper baking soda into the bottle.
Put on the cork as tightly as you can.
When the water and vinegar soak through the paper towel
they react with the baking soda
to produce carbon dioxide gas.
As more gas forms, pressure builds up inside the bottle
and after a few moments...
Pop!
The cork shoots skyward
and you created your very own homemade cannons!
Well, I'm off to buy some vinegar and baking soda.
So, I'll see you in the future.
(EXPLOSION)
Ha! Missed me! (BLOWS RASPBERRY)