Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com
Guys, I need to tell you something,
but you have to promise not to make fun of me.
I won't make fun of you. I'll make fun of him instead.
Nice shirt, Oliver.
What time is barbershop quartet practice?
Very funny, Kaz.
And practice is at 6:30 just like always.
Anyway, for a while, I've suspected that superheroes are real.
But now I know I'm right.
Superheroes real?
That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
Why are you acting so nervous?
Me, nervous?
That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
The truth is, Oliver is nervous because, uh...
because he really wants to go out with you.
He is madly in love with you.
Tell her, Oliver.
Uh, yes, that's...
exactly why I'm nervous.
Jordan, would you do me the honor of going out with me?
No.
Anyway, I knew you two wouldn't believe my theory,
so this morning, I took this picture.
I'm telling you, this guy is Captain Atomic,
and I'm gonna find him and prove it.
Jordan, please, this is a huge city.
You'll probably never even see that guy again.
Oh, there he is.
What's buzzin', cousin?
I'm your new history teacher, Mr. Camito.
Mr. Camito. Our new history teacher.
Craziest thing I ever heard.
Captain Atomic, what are you doing here?
There's been a lot of chatter about villain activity in this area.
I'm here undercover to make sure
the school is safe from no-good ne'er-do-wells.
Okay, if you're gonna stick around, you need to keep a low profile.
Yeah, because our friend Jordan is convinced that you're Captain Atomic.
I read you two loud and clear.
Except you. You kinda mumble a bit.
Gus, do you have a metal detector I can borrow?
That's insane. Why would I have a metal detector?
I have a lie detector, a radiation detector, and a detector detector,
which is going off right now because it detects these other detectors.
Give me the radiation detector.
I'm going to prove that the new teacher is actually Captain Atomic.
His atomic batteries should set this off.
This again?
If you're just trying to get attention,
- there are better ways. - I'm not trying to get attention.
My lie detector says otherwise.
Ha! I knew it!
You have high levels of radiation emanating from you.
You are Captain Atomic.
That doesn't prove anything.
I mean, this whole city is filled with radiation.
See?
Beep-beep, beep, beep-beep.
You're just making a beeping sound with your mouth.
Uh, yeah, because that's the first sign of radiation...
involuntary mouth-beeping.
Beep, beep, beep.
Fine. Let's see how it works on somebody else, like Principal Howard.
Why is it going off?
My experimental plutonium heart.
You made it malfunction.
Why would you do this?
Gotta go.
Horace, the Mighty Med cafeteria gave me the wrong lunch again.
How do I know?
Because this lunch is trying to eat me.
Give it up, Connie. I know your secret.
What are you talking about?
You know how I do extensive background checks
on everyone at school so I can find out their most embarrassing secrets
and then bend them to my will?
Here's your dry cleaning, Stephanie.
Good. Your secret's safe with me, Mr. Still Bites His Nails.
On His Feet.
Can I help it if I'm limber and have delicious toenails?
Anyway...
when I did my internet check on you,
I found out there is no Connie Valentine.
It's a fake identity.
- It's not what you think. - It's exactly what I think.
You're not who you say you are.
You're actually...
a princess from another country
who's here living in hiding.
Dang it.
Oh, my secret is out.
I am a princess in hiding.
Huh. If anyone here was a princess in hiding,
I would've guessed it was Genevieve.
Nope. She's just weird.
Why are you in hiding?
Uh... because my father,
the king of Calderania,
was overthrown by...
rebels, and he sent me here for safety as he fights to regain his crown.
I knew it.
It all makes perfect sense now.
It does?
Yes. It explains why you dress and act like such a dork.
To not seem like royalty.
Yes.
That's exactly why I'm such a dork.
On purpose.
Anyway, you both have to keep my secret, or I could be in great danger.
Oh, I will...
if you make me a duchess.
I want people to bow down before me like I'm royalty.
People already bow down to you.
Yeah, but I want them to be, like, royally forced to.
I would love to make you a duchess, but I can't.
It's an honor only bestowed upon the most worthy individuals.
Then I'll prove to you how worthy I am.
I'll start by showering you with gifts.
Give the royal highness your lunch. Now.
Fine.
It's a BLT.
Bacon, lettuce and toenails.
You don't like bacon?
We dodged a bullet, but it's only a matter of time
till Jordan figures out that Mr. Camito is a superhero from the 1950's.
He keeps referring to all the computers as "those fancy radios."
Hey, we could try to get him fired.
But the only person who can fire a teacher is Principal Howard.
Wait a minute.
I think I know what to do.
Nice of you to whisper.
Thanks. You too.
Okay, what's the idea?
Excuse me, Principal Howard.
Can I talk to you about something?
I'm having a personal problem.
Kaz, you can always talk to me...
during my office hours,
which are between 11:30 and 11:45.
Every other Thursday. In May.
Please, please.
It'll just take a minute.
So I'm trying to impress a girl.
Of course, the best way to do that is with an impression of a robot.
Go on.
Unfortunately, I'm terrible at robot impressions.
And I just remembered you did such a good robot dance
at the staff talent show.
So will you help me, Principal Howard?
I think you mean...
Principal Boogie Bot 3000.
Thank you. Okay...
Fifty stars?
Since when?
There you are.
You were right. There is evil in this school.
- Gee whillikers. - And get this.
It's Principal Howard. He's some kind of robot villain,
and he's shut down all telecommunications worldwide.
I'll call the League of Heroes.
Ah, I forgot.
He shut down all telecommunications worldwide.
You know, I was also hoping to impress the girl
by trying to rip her arms off, as robots tend to do.
I totally get it.
Watch and learn.
What are you doing?
Get off of me!
Not until I unhinge your robot head.
I'm not an actual robot.
I was just doing a masterful impression of one.
Lies.
I have proof that you shut down all telephone devices in the world.
I'm sorry, I can't right now.
I'm talking to a crazy person.
Well, in my defense, that was a pretty masterful robot impression.
Listen, we all make mistakes.
Just not as stupid as this one so you're fired.
Get out.
Well, looks like that teacher is...
history.
'Cause he taught history, and now he's gone.
Yeah, we got it.
Ew, gross.
You don't like sushi?
Oh, I love sushi.
I hate your shoes.
Very clever.
No one would expect a princess to wear something that hideous.
Exactly what I was goin' for.
Hideous.
Wait. I figured out a way to prove my duchess-ness.
I applied for Dutch citizenship.
And I also got you a bodyguard.
This really isn't necessary.
I just wanna eat my lunch in peace.
No!
You can't eat that.
The Calderanian rebels might be trying to poison you.
I need to taste it first.
It's good.
It's really good.
It's not toenail good, but it'll do.
If you like, I'd be happy to write you a recommendation.
If you wanna be admitted to a mental institution.
People are so much meaner now than they were in the 1950's.
Boss, this is unit 238.
Captain Atomic is no longer a threat.
I've downloaded your final instructions onto my memory drive.
I am installing them now.
Aha!
You were talking about Captain Atomic.
I was right. Superheroes do exist.
So the fact that I just put a flash drive into my head,
you're not gonna comment on that?
I just have to take a picture.
I knew superheroes were real.
Unfortunately for you, so are super villains.
So, are you one of the normos from Mighty Med,
or do you work for the League of Heroes?
I don't know what you're talking about.
But it's so cool how your eyes turn red when you get angry.
Let's see how cool you think it is when I destroy you, like this.
Oh, hi, Jordan, hey, Principal Howard.
Cool melted globe. What's going on?
Uh...
rope-tying class. It's a new elective.
And I'm really bad at it.
I need... help!
A lot of... help.
You really do. With your blinking,
because you're only doing it with one eye right now.
Huh. My robot detector is going off, which can only mean one thing.
The battery's low. I better go change it. See ya.
Now where were we?
You were about to let me go.
Oh, okay, let me untie those... Hey!
I'm not finished.
Now I know you're one of the two kids
at this school who work at the superhero hospital, Mighty Med.
Two kids.
Of course. Oliver and Kaz.
That's where they go after school every day.
Oliver and Kaz.
Thank you for that information.
I need to make sure it's them before I take them to my superior.
Take your phone.
Start a video chat with Kaz.
It's 4:00 p.m.
They could be at Mighty Med right now.
I wanna see.
You should use my laptop.
It's got a bigger screen. I'll go get it.
Great. You know what?
That's why you are my favorite... Stop it!
Hey, Kaz, it's Principal Howard.
Principal Howard.
If this is about the fake vomit on your desk, I didn't put it there.
I only use real vomit.
When I pull a prank, I commit.
I'm actually calling to apologize
about Mr. Camito's behavior earlier.
Would you mind filming the entire room
so that I can make sure that you're safe,
and that Oliver isn't traumatized?
Actually, Oliver is extremely traumatized,
and, uh, he's crying uncontrollably, like a big baby.
Better go get him a pacifier.
So what if I'm crying?
Anyone who can watch a video of a soldier reuniting with his dog and not cry
is a cold-blooded monster. No offense, Lizard Man.
Listen, Principal Howard is a villain,
and he's got Jordan. We have to rescue her, and we're gonna need help.
Captain Atomic is the only superhero around.
I hope he's not still mad at us.
Go away. I'm still mad at you.
Because of you, I can't complete my mission.
Listen, we're really sorry.
The chatter that you've been hearing is true.
Principal Howard really is a villain.
And in other gossip, apparently Oliver has a huge crush on Jordan.
You started that rumor.
And it took off like wildfire.
I knew Principal Howard was a villain.
To the school...
You walk.
I'm still mad at you.
Look, since I don't know anything, can't you just let me go?
I'm afraid not.
And since you know my secret, I'm going to have to destroy you.
In a classroom?
Shouldn't you lower me into a shark tank or snake pit or something?
Why don't you go set that up and I'll meet you there?
That's actually a good idea.
Ah, cut it out!
Unhand that girl!
I don't mean yank her hands off.
I mean... you know what I mean.
Jordan, I know this looks odd,
but there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.
Oliver has a crush on you.
How could that be an explanation for this?
Jordan, run.
We've gotta help him.
I cannot believe what I'm seeing.
Principal Howard is a rebel from Calderania trying to attack the princess.
Stephanie, Gus, run.
Connie, I'm not going anywhere.
As your royal bodyguard, I will never leave you in danger.
I officially tender my resignation.
Hey, nobody hurts my princess.
Stephanie, wait for me in the courtyard.
Yes, milady.
We've gotta stop him.
Wait. Remember that comic about the rise of the cabal of chaos?
I think Principal Howard is the same model android.
Captain Atomic, remove the flash drive from behind his ear.
All right. One question.
What's a flash drive?
Well, we better take our headmaster to Mighty Max prison for detention.
'Cause he's just a head,
- and detention is another word for... - Yeah, we got it.
Jordan.
Are you okay?
I'm a little groggy, but I'm fine.
Ew.
There's old socks in here.
You're probably wondering what that whole scene was about.
Yeah, what happened here?
I can't remember anything.
Uh, I can't remember anything either.
Yeah, neither can I.
It must be the radiation.
Stephanie, that was an amazing display of bravery.
I can't believe you risked your high-heeled wedges for me.
Well, I already wore them twice, so I was gonna throw them out anyway.
So now can I become a member of the Calderanian royalty?
Sure.
Why not?
I now dub thee Duchess Stephanie of Calderania.
You may rise.
But I'm already standing.
I know. They just always say that.
This is so exciting.
I can't wait to tell everyone I'm a duchess,
and make them feel even worse about themselves.
No, you can't tell anyone.
- Why not? - Because...
you wouldn't be safe.
No one can ever know about this.
Right.
Sorry, Gus.
I'm gonna have to execute you.
Gus can know.
Nobody ever believes what he says anyway.
Gee, I wonder why.
I detect a hint of sarcasm.
Yep, my sarcasm detector is going crazy.
Next time on Mighty Med...
You have to hear this dream I had last night.
I was on board an alien spaceship
that was carrying something called the Arturian.
Ambrose, why don't you just make that into a comic book?
We're fascinated by this Arturian story.
We'd like to make a movie out of it.
I've had a lot of interest from other producers.
You're gonna have to make me a great offer.
What if we offer to saw you in half?