(VOCALIZING)
Hey, I just got a text from Charles, y'all.
He got on the wrong bus.
He's on the other side of town.
Other side of town? But our concert is in an hour.
Yeah, I know, but he wants us to warm up and rehearse Praise to the Lord.
Charles said that?
- In text. - Okay, okay.
Well, if that's what Charles said...
WOMAN: Yeah, that's okay. We got this.
(SINGING) Ooh, we can do this
- Come on, y'all. - All right, all right.
(SINGING) Ooh, five, six, seven, eight
ALL: (SINGING) We lift up to the Lord
We give praise up to the Lord
We sing merrily up to the Lord
Give thanks up to the Lord
We lift up to the Lord
We give praise up to the Lord
We sing merrily up to the Lord
Give thanks up to the Lord
I think you're off of your note
You're going higher than your note
Pretty sure this is my note
In fact, I'm positive this is my note
Because this is my note
Pretty sure this is my note
Could have sworn this was your note
That has never been my note
Well, we can't have the same note
So one of us is wrong
Why don't you worry about your note?
I'll take care of my own note
But it's a really, really, really bad note
You are not Charles
I never said that I was Charles
Well, you're acting like you think you're Charles
Look, I know that I'm not Charles
You can say that again
Well, you're both off your notes
And it's messing with the rest of our notes
Speak for yourself, Nyema, I'm holding my note
I wasn't trying to single you out
You said everyone was off their notes
Not everything is about you, Gina!
Huh. Kiss my black ass!
ALL: Oh, dear Lord
Where is
Charles?
- This don't make no sense. - Come on, man.
(ALL ARGUING)
Crazy crazy
Does is crazy
Make up for adjustment
You jammin' on the verse
First one's planned that you want to do
All I want
But I don't need you
(VOCALIZING)
(IMITATES AFRICAN SINGING)
(BOTH IMITATING AFRICAN SINGING)
(CONTINUE IMITATING AFRICAN SINGING)
Well, that was a good one.
You gotta release the Africa.
Yeah, you just got to get those short bursts of song,
so you can run away before motherfuckers are trying to genocide your shit.
- Hmm, that's why... - That's when you get those...
(ANGUISHED CRY)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. (IMITATES AFRICAN SINGING)
That's the guy that...
- (CONTINUES SINGING) - Did not make it out.
That's, like, Swahili for "Get me out. I'm hit!"
- "Where'd y'all motherfuckers go?" - Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about? (IMITATES AFRICAN SINGING)
(CONTINUE SINGING)
(GRUNTING) Ha!
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
(GRUNTS)
Ahhh!
(GRUNTING)
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
(ALL YELLING)
(YELLS)
(ALL YELLING)
(YELLS)
(ALL YELLING)
(YELLS)
(ALL YELLING HALFHEARTEDLY)
(YELLING)
(ALL YELLING HALFHEARTEDLY)
(PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(BABBLING)
(ALL YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
(GROWLS)
Oh, no.
(ALL GRUNTING DISAPPROVINGLY)
Uh...
Oh.
Uh...
(GROWLING)
(ALL CHEERING)
ALL: Huh?
(STRAINING)
(IMITATES BABY CRYING)
(ALL GRUNTING DISAPPROVINGLY)
(GRUNTING)
Ha.
Ah!
Uh...
Hmm.
(BABBLING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Ha!
(CHEERING STOPS)
(ALL CHEERING)
- (CHEERING STOPS) - Uh-uh.
(ALL CHEERING)
(CHEERING STOPS)
(ALL CHEERING)
- (CHEERING STOPS) - Ah.
Ha.
(GRUNTING)
Uh...
(MUMBLING)
Ah!
Ah. (CLEARS THROAT)
(SNIFFS)
Ah!
(ALL CHEERING)
(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
(ALL CHEERING)
Ah!
Oh.
(YELLS)
Jordan, would you say I'm gullible?
Mmm...
- No. - I feel sometimes like I'm gullible.
So you believed me when I said that you weren't gullible, just now.
- Oh, darn it. Okay. - See what happened?
Wait a minute, so then, what else is not true that you told me?
Are you not Danny Glover's son?
(IMITATING DANNY GLOVER) No, would I be able to talk like this
if I wasn't Danny Glover's son?
That's a really good point.
You wouldn't be able to talk like that
- if you weren't Danny Glover's son. - (MUMBLING)
I can't help talking like this.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
(SIGHS) Hey, man.
You gotta let me out of here.
Oh, okay.
(KEYS JANGLING)
You tricked me.
I can honestly say I wasn't trying to trick you.
You weren't?
All I said was, "You gotta let me outta here."
There's no trick.
So I do have to let you out of here?
- Yes? - Okay.
Bon voyage.
Order's to let him go, I don't know why he's in here
in the first place. I don't know.
(DISTANT YELLING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(SOFTLY) Sorry.
Boy, you really got me in trouble.
Sorry.
Yeah, you must think I'm stupid.
Well, I'm not stupid. I'm smart.
So, you know.
You know how you could prove that you're really smart?
Oh, yeah, let me guess.
You want me to let you out of here again.
- Well... - You know what?
You think that you can trick me into letting you out again.
Well, you can't.
'Cause this is my choice.
- Get the heck out of here. - All right.
All right?
Reverse psychology.
GUARD: I am sorry about that, guys.
That was me, guys, my bad. My bad.
(LAUGHING) Real nice.
Now they said they're gonna dock my pay,
and if I let you out of here again, I'm gonna be severely punished.
I mean, what are you gonna do?
I'm actually surprised
they haven't already thrown you in here with me.
No, prison is for bad guys.
You're a bad guy, and I'm a good guy.
Yeah, but you could see how, from my perspective,
I'm a good guy.
Wait, you're a good guy?
- (KEYS JANGLING) - Oh, my gosh.
It doesn't seem like you understand what your job is.
Oh, oh, okay.
I see what you're doing.
You're trying to manipulate me with reverse psychology.
- Well, it's not gonna work. - No, no.
It's not even worth going out there again.
Look, they just gon' get me
and bring me back in here,
just like they always do.
- Unless... - What?
No, I'm...
Forget it, I don't wanna take advantage of you anymore.
Look, look, hey, no, listen.
I'm not gonna fall for it, whatever it is.
You may as well just tell me.
I was just gonna say that, like,
if you were to help me...
Uh-huh?
- Get past the guards... - Yeah, yeah.
- And get all the way out... - Okay...
- I really... No, I have to tell you. - Okay.
You need to think about this
- long and hard. - Mmm-hmm.
Weigh your options and consider the ramifications of those options.
Like heck I will.
- Let's go. - All right.
I'm busting you outta here!
Don't yell, man. You might as well ring the alarm.
- Good idea, yeah. - No...
(ALARM RINGING)
Look, look, he... Ah!
- Oh, hi, Tom. - It was...
Good to see you guys. Yeah.
Oh, boy, I did it again, didn't I?
...ironic, 'cause when I was a prison guard, when I was a prison guard,
I wasn't allowed to talk to the prisoners.
That was the thing, they said to me,
"If you talk to those prisoners, you're gonna get in trouble.
"You're gonna get in trouble." Now that I'm in here with you,
I can talk as much as I want. Just babble on, and babble on
and babble on, we can talk about anything you want. Any... Any...
ANNOUNCER: Teaching Center is brought to you by
BMW.
The ultimate driving machine.
Hello and welcome to Teaching Center.
I'm Boyd Maxwell, with today's top stories
from the exciting world of teaching.
And I'm Perry Schmidt.
Well, now we know.
The long-awaited announcement by star English teacher, Ruby Ruhf,
has sent teaching fans across the nation into a frenzy.
I've enjoyed my time in Ohio very much.
But I'm pleased to announce that I'm taking my talents
back to New York City. Thank you very much.
Apparently, PS431 has made Ruby an offer she couldn't refuse.
$80 million guaranteed over six years,
with another $40 million in incentives
based on test scores.
This salary puts her right up there with Rockridge Elementary's Katie Hope
and William Wu
- out of... - Colgate magnet!
All right, let's take a look at yesterday's high school teacher draft
from Radio City Music Hall,
where Central Rapids High,
recipient of the worst test scores last semester,
made the first pick that was no surprise to anyone.
(CROWD CHEERING)
For the first pick, Central Rapids High takes
calculus teacher Mike Yoast from Tulsa Teacher's College.
(CROWD CHEERING)
And just like that, you're a millionaire. (LAUGHING)
BOYD: Mike Yoast is an unbelievable story.
His father living from paycheck to paycheck as a humble pro football player.
Kid was a natural mathlete.
You know he's gonna buy his mom a house.
- Oh, you know this. - Oh, there's no way
- around that. - (LAUGHING)
You owe your mom. (LAUGHING)
ANNOUNCER: Today's Highlight of the Day
is brought to you by the 100% black Angus beef thick burger
on a fresh-baked bun from Carl's Jr. And Hardee's.
(BOYD CLEARS THROAT)
Now it's time for the Highlight of the Day.
Star history teacher Ashley Ferguson has been
running up them test scores over at Vinz Clortho High.
- Okay. - Whoo.
ASHLEY: Confederate forces fired first.
Can anyone tell me where this battle took place?
Now, look at this.
She looks left, then right.
Looks past the students with their arms up in the air.
- Spots Max near the back. - Whoo.
Sees that even though his hand isn't up, he's engaged.
- Max? - It was Fort Sumter?
That's right.
Oh, come on. See what she did there?
She's bringing an introvert into the discussion, y'all.
That's a Teacher of the Year play, right there.
That's right, Boyd. You know, the confidence gained
by Max by answering that question correctly
will enhance his performance throughout the rest of the year.
No doubt. Coming up after the break,
Mayfield Prep trades French teacher Janeane Lowe
to Skyline High for a head librarian and two lunch ladies to be named later.
And we'll get the inside scoop on the impending
- teacher's strike that could... - Uh-oh.
Cripple the season.
Next up, on Teaching Center.
Whoo.
RUBY: Strength courses through me.
I am velocity.
- I am power. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
I am a leader.
A believer.
I am the force that guides.
I am the gateway to what is possible.
The path to the future.
I am
the future.
ANNOUNCER: The all-new 20156 series is here.
Meet the new teacher's pet.
You know what?
(STAMMERING) I'm not gonna be doing no commercials.
- None? - I'm not gonna sell my shit out.
I'm gonna keep my integrity.
That's good, 'cause that way, you don't have to ever worry
about buying a car or anything like that.
But what, just for argument's sake, what kind of figures
are people getting these days?
Well, like, if it was a Sam... You know, maybe Samsung or something,
you might make $750,000, or something like that.
- (WHISPERING) 750... - Yeah, yeah.
- Thousand. - I mean, you'd have to give up
- your phone. Your iPhone. - I'm in.
- What? - I'm in.
I don't think there's an offer on the table, or anything...
Let's find one.
Well, what about your, um, artistic integrity?
$750,000.
Fuck, 750...
Five hundred.
- What would you... - Two fifty.
- Take it easy. Now, wait a second. - We'll do it together.
Okay, yeah, but we wouldn't just do a commercial for anybody, now.
- We wouldn't do it for anybody. - (HISSING)
- I mean, if, you know... - If they got $100,000, I am.
Okay, let's say that the Ku Klux Klan came for us to do a commercial.
For $100,000?
Well, shit, they're giving back to the black community.
At that point, me.
- Best comic book adaptation... - Oh, yeah.
...to film, hands down. - It's, oh, yeah.
- No argument. - Oh, yeah.
See you later, girls.
- All right. - Oh, yeah.
Um, I know I'm in the minority here, but I don't really like
the Christopher Nolan Batman movies.
I don't. I really just feel like they're...
Overrated.
- Okay. - (ALL SNIGGERING)
Well, that's, um, that's just an opinion.
You see, that's why I prefaced it by saying, "I know I'm in the minority."
- Awkward. - (BOTH SNIGGERING)
You know, what? No. No.
Not really. It's not awkward.
At least not until you said "awkward."
Now it's awkward, because of what you said.
Anyway...
Anyway, what? Anyway, what?
Really, 'cause when you say "anyway,"
then you have to follow it up with an actual contribution
to the conversation we're having.
- Yikes. - No, look at me. Look at me.
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
There's no "yikes," and the reason why
there's no "yikes", is 'cause there's nothing scary
about this situation, okay?
It's a very low-stakes situation.
- All right. - No, not "all right."
Come here, no. Don't look at him.
Don't look at either of those guys. Look at me, all right?
"All right," what?
'Cause after you say "all right," you have to follow that up with something.
Don't do it.
Don't look at them.
Do not look at them.
No, no. Do not look at them.
Do not look at them. Don't do it...
- Tell us how you really feel. - Okay, you know what?
I'll tell you how I really feel.
Listen, I really feel like you're an asshole who has nothing interesting to say.
So what... Oh, no. Don't.
No, don't look at them. Come here.
Turn it. Right here.
Tell me an opinion that you have about something.
Just one opinion that you have about anything at all.
Just share an opinion. Anything. Share an opinion.
Share an opinion. Share an opinion.
Share an opinion right now. Just off the top of your head.
Share an opinion. Anything.
Just one opinion, that's all I'm asking.
Share one opinion right now!
- (SCREAMING) - Share it. Share an opinion.
I don't have an opinion, and that's why I just like
everything that everyone else likes in pop culture.
(GROANS)
(SOBS)
(WHIMPERING)
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me!
(CONTINUES CRYING)
Okay.
Can you recall the last place you felt out of place?
I feel a little out of place everywhere, to be honest.
Mmm, that's the mark of a genius.
I...
Can't say I disagree with you.
But...
These equations happening in my head...
- Oh boy. What have I done? - These...
Ideas,
nay, concepts...
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(BABBLING)
Ya, ya?
You can just use English when you're talking to me, man.
Okay, listen to me. I'm just saying, all I did was enhanced it a bit.
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll