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At this very moment at the longborough schoolfor boys,
young ned had convincedeugene mulchandani to go to war.
For not only was it proofof his undying patriotism,
it was also a much-needed escapefrom an advanced geometry lesson
in proofsof the pythagorean kind.
However, like allill-advised troop deployments,
it did not comewithout its share of unexpected casualties.
As they approachedtheir first combat fatality,
eugene's emotional radarwas overcome, forcing a hasty retreat.
Young ned, on the other hand,stood his ground.
He rationalized that if hesolved the hunter's murder,
the acclaim would bringhis father back into his life.
But the hunter revealedhis cause of death was accidentaland self-inflicted.
There was no murdererto be caught.
Though the park rangerwould believe otherwise.
Waking the deadhad landed young ned in jail.
Both boys were perceived, by papen county juvenilecorrection officers,
as anything but heroes.
And while his comrade securedan honorable discharge through the strengthof his parental allies...
young ned realizedthat his father was not going to fighthis battles for him.
For in jail, as in life, he needed to take responsibilityfor his actions.
It's 20 years, 10 months,8 days, 4 hours and 17 minutes later.
Once again, waking the deadwas a cause for concern.
The dead in this instancewas chuck's father, charles charles,
who had chosen to flee.
What's he doing? Where's he going? That's my car.
He stole my car!
He's not supposed to leave. He's my dad.
This is really bad.
This... is really... bad.
Really, really, really, really, really bad.
He just left --no explanation, no apology, no forwarding address.
At least my dad lefta forwarding address to a new house,complete with a new family.
Now I know how you feel.
Losing your dad because he dieis horrible enough,
but losing himbecause he chooses to leave is just really horrible.
Basically I've been dumped by my own dad.
You haven't been dad-dumped.
I'm the one he's mad at.
He asked you to choose -- me or him.
It's my fault.
I'm the reason he left after you risked everything to bring him back.
I risked you. I used you to bring him back.
And it was wrong and it was selfish, and we're in this mess because of me.
What if dad goes and tells people there's a pie maker who has a knack for baking and...
waking dead people?
Change of career? No more waking and/or baking.
I just want to hold your hand.
Me too.
I am done with this by-proxy hand jive.
What's the matter with you?
You two are acting all lovey-dovey when you ought to be squawking mad.
You screwed up when you used his witchin' finger to conjure up a corpse and then not tell him.
You screwed up by not tapping her pops when you had the chance
and I screwed up by cahooting and colluding and covering up
and ended up having another dead body in dear,
old ghost dad's empty grave.
And both of you ladies ought to be mad as hell at dear,
old dead dad for stealing your car
and stealing off into the night with a corpse face for nobody.
Now that you mention it, I am mad.I'm fur--
oh, get over it, fool.
Bitchin' and whinin' time has gotten the boot. We need to fix this.
Fix what, chitchatters? What you fixing?
Fixin' to tell you to mind yours.
Are you working a case? Well, break it down.
Are there dead somebodies? Is it murder? Missing persons? Who are the players? Lay it on me.
This is one of them need-to-know cases.
And you do not need, therefore you shall not know.
No casual case chitchat to pass the timewhilst perusing the menu?
We don't chitchatwhere we eat.
But I'm your itty-bitty. I'm helpful.
Strawberry-kiwi crumble? la mode.
Golden cherry crimson pear,also ? la mode.
Just coffee for me,thanks.
- Hold up, yo. - Oh, boy.
I'm not some yo-yoyou can jerk up and down on a
"today let's include her,tomorrow let's not" whim.
'Cause if I am,there are only so many knots I can tie in my yo-yo stringbefore it snaps...
- for good. - Please, olive.
"Please, olive," my ass. Where's my pie?
You know what? I hatethis. Olive is my friend.
We can't make her our depositoryof secrets one minute,
and then not include herthe next.
Why can't we just tell hereverything?
Oh, look at that. A dumb idea just found a friend. Think again.
We ain't gonna poke a stick in our businessand then snap it off by telling little big mouthall our problems.
Well, maybe little big mouthhas earned it.
All she does is trust usand help us and all we do is lieto her.
We can't affordto tell olive.
With everythingthat's happening, we don't needanother unfortunate variable.
Little did they know, another unfounate variablewas already on its way...
in the form of one half of a renownedsynchronized-swimming duo
And sister neurotics, who was called...
miss vivian!
Well, uh, to what do I owethe pleasure?
I need you to find someonefor me -- dwight dixon,my gentleman caller.
He hasn't come calling sinceour last rendezvous went awry.
Something horriblehas happened!
The facts,as emerson cod knew them and vivian did not,were these --
dwight dixon romanced vivianto get what he wanted, and what he wantedwas a watch.
I have a small confessionabout charles's pocket watch.
We buried itwith our niece, lonely touristcharlotte charles.
Dwight dug upher niece's grave, but found the watch missingand chuck still alive.
Very niceto meet you.
So dwight dixonstole the watch from chuck and lily stole the watchfrom dwight,
but she didn't stopwith one watch, she stoledwight's watch, too.
Believing chuck and thepie maker to be the thieves,
dwight dixon set aboutto kill them both,
but dwight failed to realize his murderous plan made himthe target of a cosmic exchange
that allowed chuckto keep her father alive.
While takingdwight's life in trade --
an accidental, inadvertent death at emerson cod hidin order to protect his friends.
And so dwight dixon,villain and thief,
was buried in the grave once occupiedby charles charles.
W-uhwhat makes you think something happenedto dwight dixon?
Becausehe cared about me.
He wouldn't just leavewithout explanation.
Even worse,he could be dead.
Well, let's notjump to conclusions.
Let's just startwith the facts, hmm?
Now, you say he wasyour gentleman caller.
- How many times he call on you? - Three.
He call you his girlfriend?
Give you a sock drawer?
- Offer you bling? - No!
Well, did you twohave, uh...
- intimate relations? - Very.
Long walks,clarinet concer--
- I meantin the biblical sense. - No.
Well, thenallow meto put this to you delicately.
You see, men are dogs.
They come, you know, sniffin'around, barking up your tree,
but if they don't seea kitty cat up in that tree,
pretty soonthey just stop barking.
Dwight ain't missing.
He's barking upsomebody else's tree.
Dwight wouldn't do that. He's a romantic...
a romanticwho may need help.
I'm advising you to not lookfor dwightixon.
Then find him for meso I don't have to.
Now, you listen to me.
You have no idea wt kindof man dwight dixon is.
He's a bad man,a sociopath,
a man who'd just as soonstab a friend in the neck
or shoot 'em in the back with a long-range,high-powered sniper rifle.
Dwight dixon's gone away.
Now, you just accept that andstop trying to bring him back.
Thank youfor your time.
Emerson codhated dropping the bomb on vivian charles's heart,
but a shock-and-awe campaign was the only wayto stop her search for dwight.
Slice me upinsomethesh g frand expensive and it better be on the house,
'cause I just saved both of yourasses a whole pile of grief.
Why, what happened?
Your aunt viviancame to visit me.
She tried to hire me to find hmissing paramour, dwight dixon.
What did you tell her?
Oh, I said,"no need to pay me.
"I know damn wellwhere dwight dixon is --
buried in the groundwhere I put him."
What you think I said? I said no.
Poor vivian. She's carrying a torch for a flame I extinguished.
- With my finger. - Well, don't worry.
I gave her plenty of reasonsto forget all about him.
The last thing we needis somebody investigating the disappearanceof dwight dixon.
- Good day, emerson cod. - Hide.
Hello, magnus.
We've been consignedto investigate the disappearanceof dwight dixon.
Hello, magnus.
If it isn't papen county's mosturprisingly successfulprivate detective.
And his pie-baking,pretty-boy sidekick.
As flattering as that is,you're not welcome here.
You either, hedda. Stay out of my kitchen.
I'm still mad,so ignore my caring tone, but why are we hiding?
Chuck was hiding to avoida crack forensic team from discovering
shewas infamous murder victim lonely touristcharlotte charles.
As proud membersof the norwegian ministry of justice and police,
lead detectivemagnus olsdatter, his trusted crinalist,nils nilsen,
and loyal profilerhedda lillihammer,
were an investigative triowithout equal until their beloved homeland,
ranked an astonishing 37thin the world of homicides,
no longer deemedtheir services necessary.
They abandoned their motherland when reports of a small placewith a big murder rate
halfway around the world caught their eye --
positive their forensic know-howand advanced skill set
would make them a big fishin a small but lucrative pond,
only to find themselvesconsistently trumped
by a large fish of another kind by the name of cod...
emerson cod.
Today our services werecommissioned by vivian charles to locate a manby the name of dwight dixon.
Imagine our surprise when, during our debriefingof our client,
we began to suspectthat you knew something about his disappearancethat you were not telling!
Tell us now and saveyourself the humiliation.
I don't know diddlyor squat.
Unfortunately for you,the facts say the opposite.
Nils, refreshmr. Cod's memory.
Fact 1 -- vivian charles claimsyou refused her case.
History shows emerson codnever turns down easy money.
History showsI had a full docket, just like my pocketbook.
It was nothing personal.
Fact 2 -- when discussing dwight dixonwith ms. Charles, you referred to himas A...
"bad man, a sociopath, "the kind of manwho'd stab a friend or shoot him in the back."
I was merely trying to talk herout of a bad relationship.
I didn't even know the man.
It's pure conjecture.
Fact 3 --it wasn't conjecture.
You and dwight hobnobbedin the same circles!
The hell I did.
We didn't nob no hobs. And certainlnotin no damn circle.
We have pies of din'scredit-card statements --
he was a frequent eater thiats very eatery.
Therefore, establishinga reasonable link, hmm?
Not reasonable -- unreasonableand purely circumstantial.
And a little rude.
Not for long.
For I believe we will soon provebeyond a shadow of a doubt
that you're hiding somethingof importance to this case.
Yeah, how you planto do that?
With help from our mother,the most sophisticated mobile investigative laboratoryfacility of its kind,
providing instantaneousevidence collection, inspection, and documentation.
If there's a shred of evidenceconnecting you to dwight dixon's disappearance,
mother will find it.
Then run on me to your motherbecausre nyou'ot welcome here.
This is my pie hole.
No clues, no dirt, no service. Now go!
You'll find usat the come and sleep hotel!
Big mother is watching. Any last words?
Thank you.
- What just happened? - Nothing.
We are in a crisis,people.
We need to shut downthese norwegians pronto-mundo.
Also pronto-mundo,we need to find my dad.
Put daddy deadbuckson hold.
We need to cut these norse foolsoff at the source.
But what if these norse foolsfind chuck's dad?
Or worse, he finds them and tells themwhat happened to dwight.
And then there'sthe waking and baking.
If he wants meto stay out of chuck's life, that's one way to do it.
Okay, fine,you look for daddy deadbucks.
But I still need somebodyto te a second crack at vivian to call off the hounds
while I find outwhat these norwegians dig up.I --
oh, itty-bitty.
I'm itty-bitty again? You mean it?
All I can tell you isif you don't convince vivian to call off her investigationinto dwight's disappearance,
then we are gonna bein a lot of trouble.
What did you do,kill dwight?
I'm just kidding. You didn't, did you?
- No, but... - but what?
I still can't tell youwhat happened.
Oh, hells bells!
The least you could is lie.
What hurts the mostis the total lack of effort.
None of you even seem to careor mind the fact
that you won't let me inon your super-secret powwows.
I promise you,it is not out of spite.
We're just tryingto protect you.
But I don't need protection.
That's what I have several long-standingrestraining orders for.
I need to feellike I belong.
I need to feelappreciated, chuck.
I wanta full-fledged membership and an all-access passto the P.I.Palooza.
- So you'll do it? - Yes.
- Thank you,thank you. - You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.
I will not call them off,not until they find dwight.
Are you stillmooning over that creep?
Moons wax and wane.
I am steadfastin my investigation of dwight's disappearance.
I don't knowif vivian's told you, but she's hired a teamof norwegian P.I.S to find him.
Right now,they're running a couple of those bright-bluebody-fluid lights all over his motel room,
lookingfor evidence of foul play.
There's been foul play? S-says who?
And whoare these norwegians?
They camehighly recommended.
In their home country, they'rethe most decorated figures since thor bjorklund --
inventor of the hand-held cheese slicer.
Lily's sudden spikein body temperature stemmed, not from hearingthor bjorklund's name,
but from the fear that if dwight dixonwas the victim of foul play,
amongst his possessions,the norwegians would discover a trail of evidenceleading them to...
lily herself.
Call off the norwegians.
Let well enough alone.
Not until I find outwhat happened to dwight.
Nothing happenedto dwight!
You don't know that.
What I do knowis dwight was menacing.
He even snuck in to the pie holeonce after hours and menaced meright to my face.
See? It's a good thinghe's gone.
Why on earthwould he menace you?
It'sa nneed-to-know basis.
Well, then,I-I need to know.
I'm tiredof being a pushover.
I deserve the truth, and I don't need anyoneto protect me from it.
- Yes, you do. - Why?
I can't tell you.
This gives me pause.
A manicure might help.
No, pause,like one step past "play" and not quite to "stop."
Because I've been hearing thisconversation on repeat all day,
and I'm finally hearingthe music.
And I've heard enough to knowwhen people say,
"I can't tell you.It's for your own good,"
what they really mean is,"i won't tell you because I don't trust you."
Because they don't thinkthat you're responsible enough to hea or handle the truth.
So they have the private chitchats in cornersand in booths.
And when you shimmy on over to just say a simple, "top o' the mornin' to ya!"
They clam up and avoid youlike you got the ebola.
Aren't you tired of feing like you have to live your lifefrom the outside?
You deserveto have those answers.
And if you want to enlista crack team of P.I.S from the land of norwegia,you go, girl!
Because maybe then,you'll finally get the respect, trust,
and honesty you deserve from your"so-called" best friends.
As olive snookbroke ranks with lily and came to the defenseof vivian,
she began to wonder if therewere other alliances in her life she should be breaking.
Emcodson hoped that any evidence the norwegians gatheredfrom dwight dixon'motel room
was of no significance at all.
That's lily's handwriting.
- hello, lily. - Vivian.
Lily, I'm afraid this is goingto be a confrontation.
Is it, now?
Would you like to tell mewhat happened at the cemetery between you and dwight?
Thing happened at the cemetery'tween me and dwight.
He stood me up,just like he did you.
I wasn't stood up.
You ran him off with bothbarrels cocked at his manhood.
Then invited and/or lured himto the cemetery for heaven knows why.
I won't call you a liar.
If you say he didn't show,then I believe you.
He didn't show.
I don't believe you.
I can't protect youfrom the norwegians if you don't tell methe truth.
Protect me? What --what is it you think I did?
Something rash.
Honestly -- and this isa petty accusation, therefore I'm not proud --
but I don't think you likethat he made me happy.
Dwight dixon is trouble.
Dwight dixon lavished mewith courtly blandishments and picnics completewith crudités and soup.
There may have beeinvolvement with a criminal elementin his past,
but that's behind him now.
It ain't behind him. It's right on top of him,if not inside him.
His motel roomhad enough buckshot to blow coeur d'coeursto timbuktu!
What were you doingin his motel room?
Looking for this.
Charles's pocket watch.
Your kind dwight stole itfrom charlotte's grave right after yotold himwhere it was.
H-he didn't --he couldn't -- he...
he dug her up?
He dug her upand took it from her.
So I took it backand took his watch, too.
You want to knowwhat was gonna happen between me and dwightat the cemetery if he showed?
Me and both barrelswere gonna convince him to dig charlotte's graveright up again
and put that watch backexactly where he found it.
And your intentionsafter that?
That was gonna beup to dwight.
Congratulations, lily.
I know how you likebeing right.
I didn't want to be ri-- I knew I was gonna be,but I didn't wantto be.
I don't get any satisfactionfrom seeing you hurt.
Now i reallydon't believe you.
As the cold snapbetween the aunts grew colder,
the pie maker and chuckwere investigating the equally serious matterof the missing charles charles.
Bringing back the deadis always complicated.
Sometimes you have to focus on the treeinstead of the forest.
You have to findthat one thing and that tiny glimmer of hopeand just hold onto it.
Wait. What's that?
It's another button,a big brass button.
It's placed conspicuouslyon the windowsill.
It might have popped offmy dad's sweater 21 years, 2 months,and 24 days ago --
the day he moved outand abandoned me.
Or maybe it's a signfrom my dad.
He'd always give mea button to hold onto on long journeysto summer camp,
or he'd sneak one in my pocketon the first day of school to let me know
thahe was thereand he was watching me and that everythingwould be okay.
Chuck, it'S...
maybe threason that I can'tbelieve that he just left is because he didn'T.
Maybe he's keepinga safe distance.
Is that realistic?
My life has been so unreal.
I don't know what realistic is. I died...
and then I was alive again.
And so was my dad,and it's something that we both share that nobodyelse can, which is why I know.
Ned, I know, and I feel itdeep, ep down inde of me that he wouldn'tabandon me.
He's here. He's here somewhere.
you can't hang all thaton a button.
Yes, I can.
I'm his button-button.
While chuck hopedthe old, brass button was significant evidence of herfather's comforting presence,
131 miles e north, the norwegians continuedtheir investigation.
All the while, keepinga watchful eye on emerson cod,
who they believed knew morethan he was willing to say.
Meanwhile,emerson cod was once again keeping his eye on them,
in the hopethat the forensic bread crumbs from dwight's motel room
would not lead the norwegiansback his way.
Using the gumshoe skillsthat made him great,
the number-one detectivein papen county took the fight to his opponent.
His plan was this -- first, assess the true natureof the threat.
Two, find and exploittheir weaknesses, and three...
Shut your mouth.
I can't believeyou guys think my former friendsare up to no good, too.
Oh, hell no.
Damn you,you itty-bitty traitor.
I don't have enough fingersand toes to count the secretsthat they flaunt in my face.
Oh,and that dwight dixon, he did hang aroundthe pie hole...
a lot. Until he didn'T.
And then you guys show up, and they're jumpier than a bunchof kangaroos on a pogo stick.
So, I comebearing gifts.
The pie maker'ssaliva -- 'cause they have thingsin their mouth
and in their hands that theydo not want spread around.
The kinds of thingsthat would lead them to kill a man, perhaps?
Well, that's why I'm h E. You tell me.
There's plentyof somethin'-somethin' going on with those dirty birds,
and since you're all aboutgetting answers, and so am I,
I figured it was about timeI joined the a-team.
Which is why we were excitedto receive your inquiry about joiningour organization.
The dna analysisthat I pformed on your hair
told us everythingwe needed to know.
I wasunder the impression that penicillinwould clear that up.
No, what he means isthat you're of good, strong, shapely norwegian stock.
Skal!
Thank you. Thank you! You too.
Which goes without sayingsince you're so obviously from the land of norwegia.
And, as it turns out, so am I, so it makes it swellto be home, Don't ya know.
I must say, you guys have seriouslypimped this ride.
This is fancierthan liberace's camper!
Mother is the heart and soulof what we do.
Without her,we'd be just another --
emerson "clod"?
So, what do you think happenedto dwight dixon?
He appearsto have vanished.
And how he vanished probablywasn't prettlike you.
He had enough weaponsin his room to armthe norwegian militia.
All evidence pointsto a dangerous man with a destructive agenda
who most likely metwith a violent end.
All in all, a bad man.
Can you handle more?
It's getting hotterfrom here.
We also find a shovelunder dwight's B.
The mineral contentof the caked-on dirt matches thatof the local cemetery exactly.
More importantly,wiwhat dght dixon was doing by charles charles's
and charlotte charles's graves with the shovel,
we can only speculate.
For now.
An exhumation order.
You don't mean... you're gonna dig them up?
- Ja. - Ja.
Ja.
- No. - Olive's a norwegian.
Maybe it'sstockholm syndrome.
They've lured her in, and she doesn't knowwhat she's doing.
Chitty-chatty-boo-hoo knewexactly what she was doing.
She was sufficiently lubedand ready to spit tacks.
She en gave themyour saliva swab to getinto their clubhouse.
What would they wantwith my saliva?
It's my fault.
She warned us not to push her,and then I pushed her away,
and I pushed herto talk to vivian, and that pushed herto switch teams.
You're not that pushy,and you're not to blame.
Olive betrayed usbecause we can't let her in,
and we can't let her inbecause of my magic finger.
Somehow or other, it always comes backto my magic finger.
Maybe so,but in about five minutes,
the norwegiansare gonna have the coffins of dead girland her pops exhumed.
And when they open them up,they're gonna find hers empty
and dwight's dead assin the other one
and enough forensic evidence to lead themright back here to us.
Stunned by what they heard, the pie maker
and the girl namedchucprepared for the worst,
while in a graveyardin coeur d'coeurs,
the norwegiansfound themselves unprepared for the shocking discovery
that emerson cod's predictionwas only half right.
Both coffins were empty.
Empty? Why are they empty?
I understandwhy one of them is empty. But why is the other one empty?
Are you sure?
I made friendlywith the grounds keeper by way of a few benjamins.
The norwegians poppedthe tops on them coffins, saw they were fullof nobody,
loaded 'em up in themama-mobile, and took off.
But how could my dad's coffinbe empty? It's supposed to be fullof dwight dixon.
Oh, god. We buried him alive.
Should I feel worsabout you burying him alive or him getting out?
N't nobody buried alive.
Dwight dixon is deaderthan a doornail.
Somebody moved the body.
Who else knewhe was in that coffin?
My dad --who else could it be? "Button-button" --don't you see?
He moved the bodyto protect us.
What a good dad.
You don't supposehe wiped down both the caskets with industrial bleach,do you?
'Cause that's the only waythere isn't gonna be some trace of some forensic tiddly-bit
that's gonna lead everybody back to every somebodyat this table.
They're gonna find my dna,aren't they?
I should have worna hairnet.
You can say that your dnagot there at my dad's funeral,
but, emerson,your dna is all over the grave.
And with no real reasonfor it to be there, you're gonna look guilty.
I am guilty.
It wasn't my handthat touched charles charl and put dwight dixonin the grave.
And it definitely wasn'tmy hand that forced the magic fingerto wake dear dead dad.
But none of your hands wouldbe dirty if it wasn't for me.
Hell, you were just a pie maker,and she was grass fertilizer.
I brought youinto my P.I.Organization.
It was my job to keep youin line, and I didn'T.
So if anybody deserves to facethe norwegian firing squad...
it's me.
Don't put on your blindfoldor smoke your last stogie yet.
I got a plan.
You're gonna tellthe norwegians everything you know.
Let me tell youeverything I know.
There's nothing you can tell usthat mother can't once she finishesher analysis.
Although we don't wish to look a gift whorein the mouth, mr. Cod,
why would you tell useverything you know?
Well, confessionis good for the soul.
When you look at a casethrough a lens of a microscope,
you tend to really misson what matters.
It's the people,people -- people you work with,clients you work for.
Clientslike vivian charles?
You certainly didn'tpeople-people-person her.
True. When you make a mess,clean it up!
It's yourresponsibility.
Detective workis a lot like money.
It don't really comewith instructions.
I learned that from the greatestdetective in the world.
Of course,I'm talking about shaft.
You can dig it.
Meanwhile,as emerson cod served as decoy, on the street,
the pie maker and chuck prepared to entermother's empty nest.
I love "I have a plan"ed. Who says spontaneous is sexy?
"Sexy" is a man witha to-do list, some schematics,
and the right toolsto hot-wire a norwegian rv.
- Shall we? - We shan'T. At least, you shan'T.
I shall steal motheralone, and you shall stay hereas a lookout.
I shan't doany such thing.
We're in this jam becauseI brought my dad back.
I don't blame youfor bringing back your father.
I couldn't stop myselffrom bringing back the person I loved either.
And emerson never forced me ormy finger to join his P.I.Team.
I pokedof my own free will.
And so if there's anyoneto blame, it's me.
My finger... my fallout.
I'm driving solothis time.
You!
This isn'twhat it looks like.
You're not trying to hot-wiremother so you can drive away
with the truckload of evidencethey have on you?
Okay. It is what it looks like.
I'm sorrywe shut you out, olive.
The last thing I ever wanted todo was shut you out of my life
and open you upto the norwegians.
Is that what you thinkthis is all about?
- You gave themy swab! - Pig spit.
Don't deny it. Emerson saw you.
No, dummy --pig spit.
The swab I gave themcame from pigby, not you.
So, you're nota turncoat?
More of a reversible jacket. I wouldn't turncoat on you.
I was working deep cover to dismantle this operationfrom the inside out.
I knowthey have dirt on you, but I don't know what they didto make you look so dirty.
I got myself dirty.
Well, allow me to soap upthose hard-to-reach places.
Helping medestroy the evidence?
A simple "thank you"would suffice.
Oh, thank you.
This itty-bitty'salways on your side, no questions asked.
- What if I guessed? - Olive!
Are we talking about dwightand those empty coffins?
I'm notsupposed to tell you.
Can you answer yes or no if I askthe right questions?
Can you ask the questionswhile we steal the rv?
That's a yes-or-no question,and the answer is yes.
- Ho! Okay. - Go!
Poor, heartbrokenvivian charles.
Well, I admit I was insensitiveabout the seititivies of ms. Vivianand her missing mr. Goodbar.
But I intend to right that wrongcoming right up.
Would this beyour confession?
There ain't gonna beany confession.
We don't need your confessionto solve this case --
not when we have mother.
Whe's mother going?
looks like youabout to become orphans.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Mother! Mother! Mother.
Stop. Mother.
- Do you know why charles charles's grave is empty? - Yes.
- Was his grave robbed? - No.
- No one took the body? - No.
Then what'd he do, just get up and walk away?
Yes.
- Chuck's father's alive? - Yes.
Hold on.
When chuck faked her deathand her father faked his death, was dwight dixon on to them?
- Yes. - Okay. Then he disappeared.
Did you have anything to dowith his disappearance?
Yes. I didn't mean to,but I did.
And when you inadvertently,unintentionally, and without malice orforethought disappeared dwight,
did you disappear himin a permanent sense?
- I don't understand the question. - Did you kill him?
- Dead end! - Is that an admission?
Dead end!
Thank god for my naturallyclingy nature.
Ned! Ned!
Olive, I'm sorryI got you into this.
I'm sorry you feltyou had to prove yourself.
I'm sorry about...
so many things.
I'm not. Well, maybe one thing.
I'm sorry you never looked at me the same wayyou look at chuck.
I wouldn't say never.
Of all the secrets untold, this was the one olive snookwanted to hear most.
Hold on, ned.
Hold on. I got you.
If you've got me,who's got yo-o-o-u?
The mysterious masked man who rescuedthe pie maker and olive would remaina mysterious loose string.
Regrettinghis previous bad behavior,
emerson cod sought to tie upanother loose string.
Mr. Cod, I'm here againstmy better judgment,
consideringthe callous braggadocio with which you previouslygave me the...
heave-ho.
Well, if I diddo any ho-heaving, it was for your own good.
There's a timefor callous braggadocio and a timefor sensitivity.
To the norwegians,that time is never.
I suppose it's a holdoverfrom their viking ancestry.
It would be difficultto rape and pillage with the subtletyof a humanist.
Well, that'swhy I called you up here.
I didn't want the vikingsto give you the that'll break your heart.
That sort of thingought to come from a friend.
When the norwegiansexhumed the body of your niece and her father,their coffins were empty.
What? Our charlotte?
Dwight... stole her?
I wish there was somethingI could say to explain why or make you feel better,but I do know this --
you can't steal someone's soulby robbing their coffin.
The charlotte that you knewwasn't in that box.
She's right herewith you.
And although you can't see heror talk to her anymore you have to believe
that whatever was takenfrom that grave, that wasn't your niece.
Thank you... mr. Cod.
It seemsmy sister was right.
Dwight was indeeda bad man.
Only now it appears he was more of a monsterthan she or I ever knew.
Oh, my sweet,sweet charlotte.
Knowing this will surelyshatter lily's heart.
As vivian contemplated the emotional damageyet to come, in olive's apartment,
a girl named chuck tended to the physical damage already done.
He knew your name?
We think our masked manwas your pops.
I told olive all about your dadand how he...
faked his own death.
It must have beenyour father.
Although, I say thathaving never m him and not getting a good look at who pulled us upfrom that cliff.
He was coveredfrom head to toe.
He has a very delicateskin condition.
Like your allergyto ned!
Yes! Exactly like that.
A hereditary link.
So our masked man is your father.
Yes, it certainlyseems that way.
I'm sorry I thought yowerebeing unrealistic before.
My reality is that dadsdon't come back, they move on.
- But your daddidn't move on, he -- - hovered...
like a guardian angel.
What'she guarding you from?
Oh, jiminy jehosaphat!
I went out on a limbfor you people --
a tree limbjutting from a cliff th my limbs danglingover certain death!
So don't leave me dangling with dwight's disappearanceunless...
he's permanentlydisappeared, A.K.A...dead, A.K.A.Murdered.
Olive,murder is a very big word.
Did he die of natural causes?
- Yes. - Ye.
Are either of you referringto "murder" as a natural cause?
We are officiallynon-referential starting now.
What's stopping noware the questions.
So that's how it is.
You want to roll army style --"don't ask, don't tell." Well...
guess what worksin the foxhole works in the pie hole.
Unfortunately for olive snook, what worked in the pie holedid not work for the norwegians,
who adhered to a strict"do ask, do tell" policy.
I see you're backto playing for the other team.
Hello, hedda. You're looking lovely tonight.
You killed our mother!
Am the victim here.
I was mother-jacked.
Can you identifythe perpetrators?
Just their fistsas they pummeled my eyes.
And the bottomof their boots as they kicked me outof your mobile crime lab...
our mobile crime lab.
Okay,your mobile crime lab.
Then they beat mewith a blue-and-yellow sock as they got high on abbaand tiny little meatballs.
- Swedes. - Swedes.
That's them.
Should I believe you?
Your pulse races.
Only becauseyou're standing so close.
She's lying. Who are you protecting?
I'm not protectinganybody.
That would implythat I'm protecting the peoplewho killed dwight dixon.
And why would I protectkillers?
I'm not protectingkillers!
She'stelling the truth.
There's activityon dixon's credit card.
He just checked back into the come and sleep hotel.
Yes! He's alive! Ouch.
That's good, huh? Right?
Yeah,that's something.
Racing to the site ofdwight dixon's credit-card hit,
the P.I.And pie makerfound themselves in a jam.
Listen, we're allprofessionals, people.
This doesn'thave to get ugly.
Your shirt suggests otherwise.
Once we find dwight,all will be illuminated.
Or not.
We will soonget to the bottom of this.
The bottom of thiskeeps dropping.
Well, when they getto the bottom, what exactlyare they gonna be scraping?
'Cause dead mendon't run up their credit cards checking back into motelsthey never checked out of.
You don't think chuck's dadcould have done all this?
Whatever ridiculous speculationsyou have are moot.
The detailsspeak loud and clear.
Come, details. Speak to us.
The details in thecase did speak loud and clear.
But the story they toldwas a lie, for the facts were not ese --
every itemscrutinized in the room told a story precisely crafted.
For, despite the factthat dwight dixon's life had simply gotten upand left him,
the lackof visible signs of trauma told a far morlogical tale of a man
who had simply diedof natural causes.
the hidden bootyof heirlooms and gold crowns stashed under the mattress
implieda seasoned grave robber
and the can of fuel accelerant indicated the two bodies robbedhad gone ulain fmes.
In the end,all the evidence pointed To dwight actingand dying alone,
With nobody elseresponsible
Because that's whatthey were supposed to find.
And vivian charles found herself buoyingher sister lily's spirits after learning
that their belovedcharlotte's body was gone.
Meanwhile,the pie maker meditated on his own responsibilities.
- Any sign of yo d - nope.
No hide nor hairnor button.
But he's out theresomewhere.
I don't knowif I like the idea of charles charlesas my guardian angel.
He hasn't told anyonethat there's a pie maker who has a knack for bakingand waking the dead.
You're --you're using fresh fruit.
I am now --I mean from now on.
Touching dead thingshas only gotten me into trouble, so... no more.
Besides, I've already got the best thingI'm gonna get from it.
You.
No more dead fruit,no more dead people?
Yeah,I'm going cold turkey.
From now on, investigating crimeis emerson's business, and baking pie is mine.
This is all my fault.
I'm not lookingto blame anyone.
Waking the dead createstoo many unfortunate variables,
and I'm just taking myselfout of the equation.
But my dad --he already fixed everything.
I don't want your dador anyone else's to fight my battlesor clean up my messes.
So that's it?
That's it.
While the pie maker tookresponsibility for his actions,
he was wrong about the dadwho fought his battles.
It wasn't chuck's father whocleaned up this particular mess.
It was the pie maker's father.