[BO narrating] Previously, on Lost Girl:
Because we are family.
But family... sticks together.
The Helskór.
The ancient Helshoes, sought after by the most powerful Fae.
That they can lead to the end of days.
Dyson, where is that second Helshoe?
Hidden. Wait for the true hero.
Will you marry me?
[KENZI] We just need to slow down a bit.
We have all the time in the world.
Bo, you can bring him back. You have to do it!
No, Kenzi, there isn't enough chi!
Take it from me!
No! I can't lose you.
I will never forgive you.
I chose you. And you broke my heart.
Un... claim... me.
I unclaim you.
[BO] My father's close. I can feel him!
I swear fealty to you, Ysabeau. Forever.
[BO] A human doctor who can turn the Fae mortal?
They're gonna be coming for you.
Yeah? Let 'em try.
And the daughter's heart will close the portal?
[KENZI] It is the only way to close the gateway to Hell.
It's Bo's heart. And I'm it.
[KENZI] I will wait for Bo in Valhalla.
[BO] Whatever it takes, I will get you back.
You can't let Bo find the second Helshoe!
[BO] ♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain ♪
♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain ♪
♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she... ♪
♪ She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Kenzi!
♪
[distant bird caws]
Like I wasn't expecting a booby trap.
[BO breathing heavily]
Oh, come on.
[BO] Ah!
[distant bird caws]
Is she dead?
Looks like she's still breathin'.
Let's take her home an' take care of her.
Let's take turns takin' care of her.
My, my. Aren't you a pretty little thing?
[MAN wheezes]
[ALL wheeze]
[MAN groans]
How sad for you.
You won't get to take care of anyone. Ever again.
[MAN yells]
[BO humming]
♪ She'll be ridin' six white horses ♪
♪ She'll be ridin' six white horses when she comes ♪
[opening theme]
Roommate!
[BO] Where'd you hide it this time?
Where did I hide what shoe?
Oh, lying is not your strong suit, milkmouth. Cough it up.
You found the other one? How?
Eagles. Climbing. Very "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman."
So I can finally put on both shoes and skip into
[BO] Valhalla to get Kenzi back.
You remember? Kenzi?
She raised you when you were a wee reborn Valkyrie.
Bo. You can't go.
Why?
You just can't. You'll never come back.
Why?
I can't say. But there is a why. A really good why.
Good stuff. Very convincing.
[TAMSIN] Bo, please. You have to trust me. Please.
I can hear you in your sleep.
Screaming.
What happened when you delivered Kenzi's soul?
I wish I could tell you.
Whatever it is--Hell fires, evil dragons, sexy dragons--
I don't care.
I can handle it.
[BO] We can handle it.
Come with me. You're the only one who can help.
[sighs]
Solo mission. Got it. Just hand over the footwear.
It belonged to the Una Mens.
Yeah. They're dead. Your point?
It's with the next in charge.
You found it?
Bo. We need to talk.
Is this the part where you tell me that
I'm making the wrong choice?
That I'm putting myself in grave danger.
Well, sort of. And--
And in dealing matters of the afterlife, there are unknowns.
Rules. Everything has a price.
And whatever that costs, you're willing to pay it?
Nailed it.
Look, Kenzi might be in danger.
[BO] Scared.
And worst of all, she is alone.
Look, I was held back from saving her once.
I will not let that happen again.
Well, we'll do whatever we can on this side
to ensure your safe return.
You know I'd go with you if I could, right?
Because you pledged fealty to me?
Because I love Kenzi too.
For the worthy hero.
[TRICK] Bring her home.
And if you happen to see Isabeau, your grandmother...
tell her...
Let's hope they fit.
[MALE PATIENT coughs]
[LAUREN] Is splenectomy Susan up?
[MALE DOCTOR] Just now. Critical pain.
[LAUREN] Okay. Keep her in ICU and administer an epidural.
[MALE DOCTOR] Mhmmm.
[LAUREN] What about bed one?
[MALE PATIENT coughing]
How are we doing Mr. Dupont?
[M R. DUPONT coughing]
He's code you-know-what. We'll take him in.
♪
[BO] Worst case? I lose all control and go on a murder spree
like the last person who put on these shoes.
And the only way to stop my is to--[clicking sound]
That's code for slit my throat.
Mmm. Very clear. Thank you.
I'm assuming that's what happened to the woman from
Dyson's past your subconscious depicted as me?
You sang in French, you know?
[chuckles]
Was I any good?
[chuckles]
A plus.
[beeping]
Lauren, I don't want to hurt anyone.
You won't. I won't let you.
[LAUREN] That's why you're here.
I will monitor and sedate you at the first sign of abnormality.
[LAUREN] I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, Bo.
You know that.
[LAUREN] Listen--
[gasps]
[laughs]
Oh. Oh, we're joking.
[BOTH laugh]
Sorry.
Please just refrain from putting on the other one.
I need at least twenty or thirty minutes
to hook up your vital organs to the ECG.
[LAUREN] Then I'm gonna need an accurate
body temperature reading.
Orally will work, but rectally is generally considered--
--[LAUREN] You know what, orally is fine. --I just have to get to Kenzi.
[LAUREN] Uh, intravenous in case of cardiac arrest.
Uh, Lauren?
[LAUREN] Yeah, I'm going as fast as I can, Bo.
Uh...
What did you do?
[BO] I had to. I couldn't wait.
Oh god. Something's happening inside me.
[LAUREN] Okay, just-- Just breathe. Relax.
Try to control it.
I'm trying. I can't!
[LAUREN] Bo Dennis. You listen to me.
If anybody can, you can.
Take my hand.
[LAUREN] Ah!
Other worst case... You disappear.
♪
[chatter]
♪
[WOMAN] You're late.
[BO] For?
The shit-storm.
Welcome to my Hell.
Two hundred and six arrivals, thirty-nine events,
and a disaster of a reno in the turkish spa.
A spa? In Hell?
Only I'm allowed to call it Hell. It's Valhalla to you.
I need arrangements in all the lobbies.
And I like my boquets tight.
I don't like filler. I hate filler.
No, who likes filler? It's so blah.
You're not the florist.
Then why in the name of my glorious afterlife
were you fondling my flower?
That's a great setup for a joke, really. But lady--
Mistress.
What am I supposed to do now?
My florist is stuck in Tartarus until Tuesday.
I'm looking for a friend.
How refreshingly earnest of you.
Check in first. Make friends later.
[MALE CLERK] I'm sorry. I've checked.
You're not in our system.
[ding]
Ugh... A stray.
[screams]
Always book ahead.
What's your name?
I--
[BO] Looks like they could use your help.
[WOMAN] Mmm. Warriors, truly.
They would kill to win.
Until a bus killed them.
Large groups are the worst.
Speak for yourself.
[GIRL 1] William Shakespeare. I saw him.
[GIRL 2] You did?
[GIRL 1] I did.
Your name, please.
You cut right to the chase. [chuckles]
I need you to help me find someone.
No touching. Just your name.
I am, uh...
so freakin' excited to be here that
[BO] I have to use the little Fae's room. Again.
I'll be right back.
♪
[TV chatter]
[TAMSIN grunts]
[TV chatter]
Wow. This is sad.
You have to tell me everything that you know
about the underrealms.
Eat a sack of tits.
Sorry. What did you say to me?
Eat. A sack. Of tits.
All right. Okay. Why?
Because then your mouth would be full of tits
and I wouldn't have to listen to your dumbass voice.
Okay.
Valhalla is your home.
[TAMSIN] More like head office.
The point is is that you can help and you have to try.
You think it's so easy don't you?
No I don't, actually.
I don't think anything that we do is easy.
But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try.
You claim to be a part of this group.
That you love Kenzi and Bo.
I don't see it.
Well maybe you should wear some glasses.
Hmmm. You kinda peaked at "sack of tits."
Now tell me. What is Bo up against?
[sighs]
Or just destroy the chesterfield.
If they find out this diary exists, I'm dead.
How is documentation of your first Valkyrie kiss
supposed to help me?
It's less first-finger-bang,
more...
Just more. Trust me.
Plus I never kiss and tell.
Fine. So sprout some wings and fly to Bo.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I need a soul.
Oh. Well I just happen to have a half breed Kapre in my clinic
coughing up fire balls with minutes left to live.
You need a soul? You got one.
You'll never understand. You're human.
Yeah? Well maybe not.
But we have all made sacrifices. Except for you.
It's time to get your Valkyrie on, Tamsin.
[elevator ding]
[elevator music plays]
[BO sighs]
Please be chocolate.
Kenzi prints.
[music continues]
[elevator dings]
♪
Kenzi?
Bobo.
--[KENZI] Ah! You came! --[BO] It's really you!
--[KENZI] Oh my god. --[BO] Are you okay?
[BOTH talk over each other rapidly]
You don't look dead.
I don't feel dead.
--[BO] I missed you. --[KENZI] I missed you.
Not just since you walked into the portal,
since before then, since--
--[KENZI] Bo. --[BO] No, no, no.
I was distant and selfish.
Bo! You're here. I'm here.
In couture, apparently. That's all that matters.
Have you seen Hale?
Safety test!
Uh, mother's name?
Mmm. Birth: Aife. Adoptive: Mary Dennis.
Dream: Tina Turner.
[KENZI] Wing sauce?!
Oh, half extra hot, half honey garlic. All blue cheese dipped.
Middle name?
Trick question. You don't have one.
Favorite alias?
Oh, that is too hard. You have too many.
[KENZI] Oh, come on. You got this!
--[BO] Uh... --[KENZI] You got this.
[KENZI] You got this.
Oh! Toni with an "I" Soprano!
[KENZI screams]
Get your bodacious booty onto my double premium top matress
[KENZI] so I can tell you all about how this place is Hell.
Do you want a Belgian waffle?
[giggles]
[KENZI] Ta-da!
Yeah. It's totally hellish.
Mmm.
[KENZI] Mhmmm.
Has anyone hurt you?
No.
Tourture? Hell fires? Dragons?
No, no, and I wish!
Dude, it's been five star everything since I got here.
Anything I want, mine! Watch this.
Um, hi. I'm not really feeling my view.
Could we switch it up? Thanks!
[metal cranking]
No way!
[KENZI] You know how many emojis I've wanted to
text you about this place?
[KENZI] Any Ben and Jerry's flav I want.
Including the discontinued Oatmeal Cookie Chunk!
Shut. Up.
[KENZI] Mhmmm.
Oh my god. And look what I have.
Clueless 2. Sister Act 3: Rosary's Baby's Got Back.
A prequel to Goonies. And they're all super watchable.
Did you say double pillow top?
[KENZI] Yes, I did. Oh my god, and look at this.
Apparently, I am hosting a party.
They keep sending me dresses in my exact size
and hard to pin-point style.
But listen, I am so glad you're here
to save me from this trash hole.
[phone rings]
Hello mouth breather.
If you wanna play stalker from The Bodyguard,
try Whitney's room. I'm busy.
Ugh!
What was that about?
Ugh. Blue light hotel perv, like, calls once a day.
[KENZI] Yet another reason for you to get me outta here.
After a scoop of Chunky Monkey.
[BOTH] Mmm.
Oh my god, isn't that good?
[BO] It's so good.
I think they use different milk in Valhalla.
For all we know, they're being tortured.
Or burned alive. Or worse, buried alive.
Over and over again.
They're Helshoes. Emphasis on the "Hel."
Why couldn't Tamsin just tell us herself?
A Valkyrie's blood is bound secrecy.
If they discuss details of the "other-worlds," they die.
So she can't even communicate that she can't communicate.
So Tamsin's only outlet is a secret journal.
[DYSON] Listen to this. "Thomas is a simple human.
If it wasn't for his muscular arms and enormous--"
"He thinks my job is so simple. Heaven, hell.
[DYSON] It's so much more than that.
I have to run along now. Sneaking into Tartarus with Nismat today."
Tartarus?
It's an afterlife I thought was fiction.
Folklore says that souls are assigned to different realms.
I don't get it. If Kenzi's in Valhalla,
[LAUREN] wouldn't the shoes bring Bo here?
Hey. "How silly. Everyone is chattering about a pair of shoes
[DYSON] created for non-Valkyries so they can
Enter Valhalla on the... 'bi frost“?
Bifröst.
You hungry, Trick?
Bifröst connects the different realms. A bridge.
In some cases a teleport.
That explains Bo's super solar flare.
"The wearer of the shoes can collect souls
to build a dark army. The army to end all life."
The real question.
Why do they only work on Bo?
[TRICK] Someone or something wants her
to bring Hell on Earth.
This is bigger than bringing Kenzi back, isn't it?
It's bigger than all of us.
Hey. I've been here.
[DYSON] This is where I found Tamsin.
This is a gate where souls cross over to Valhalla.
But it only reveals itself to Valkyries.
Maybe we can mislead it.
I found Tamsin's hair in Massimo's druid stash.
[LAUREN] He said it was the key to opening things.
[DYSON] Usually I'm against all things Massimo,
but if it's the only way...
Let's go open some gates.
♪
[WOMAN] I said lamé!
[TAMSIN] Hey Freyja.
Tamsin, what color would you say that chair is?
Um, not lamé?
Good answer.
[FREYJA] Go.
You came home.
[TAMSIN] Just delivering a soul. Wanted to see you.
Thank you for being so... great.
You are a suspicious little thing.
A Valkyrie with an extra seven lives.
Mmm. ls that what they're calling me now?
It's not that catchy.
It was quite the deal you made with the Blood King.
Something you could never take back.
I came for forgiveness.
[whispering]
And yet you bring me sub-par souls.
Get rid of it.
Up or down?
Down.
What? It's a noble half breed Kapre.
With a dead tooth and no place with us.
[FREYJA] We house fallen warriors.
You're going to resume your Valkyrie ways, do it right.
[FREYJA] Like Stacey.
Brave girl. You're back.
[STACEY] And back on complex carbs, I see.
I brought you Rainer. I paid my debt.
It's gonna take a lot more than that to
make amends with your sisters.
[FREYJA] You've made too many deals, Tamsin.
Deals with the wrong people.
[TAMSIN] It's my fault.
I wanted to live longer. I get that.
But after everything, here I am. Standing with you.
Mistress, Mother of Valkyries, I know it's against our code
but I must talk to you about a liberation.
I'm interested in a far different kind of release.
Tell me about these souls.
Fae and a human, but it's not their time.
Using Valhalla as your own personal holding pen
is a faux-pas.
[FREYJA] I've been patient with you for years.
All your lives. Now it's your turn.
I'll do anything.
[distant phone rings]
It's for you.
No.
Yes.
[phone continues]
Now that you're back, you know what you have to do.
Who you have to be.
[FREYJA] I've held him back long enough.
[phone ringing]
You made such a mess, Tamsin.
Clean it up.
[phone continues]
Why haven't we ever been on vacation?
Apocalypses. Love triangles. It's hard to get away.
[knocking at the door]
Ooh.
Sometimes I wish our lives were less fraught
and more froth, ya know.
Kenzi?
[BO] What's wrong? What is it?
Um.
I ripped this exact photo in half. The only copy.
[BO] You guys look so happy.
No. Bo. That--That's Hale's chicken scratch
on the back. I know it.
Well what does it say?
"See you soon little mama."
Do you think it's actually from him?
No.
We need to go.
Uh, Kenz.
[BO] That party that you're hosting?
It's a wedding.
What?
Whose?
Yours. To Hale.
Uh... No. No. That is not happening. I mean--
--[BO] Kenz. --[KENZI] Don't K-Kenz me.
You--You came here to bring me home.
Bo before bro.
Let's go.
What if this is real?
[BO] I know that you've been telling yourself
that this place is horrible.
Uh, yeah. Because it totally is.
[BO] But what if it's not?
Please, ju--stop. Okay?
If it makes you happy--
[KENZI] Why does that even matter?
Because you deserve to be happy.
[BO] You deserve. And if that is what your heart wants,
if you are happy here...
I would do anything to see him again. Anything.
[KENZI] To see him smile at me.
To push my face into his back.
[sighs] He has such a nice back.
The selfish thing for me to do would be
to drag you home with me.
You need to find out.
Um, will you stay?
Come to my I-can't-believe- I'm-saying-this wedding?
Well, you're gonna need a Maid of Honor.
[BOTH chuckle]
Do you think...?
Maybe this is Heaven.
[BOTH chuckle]
[laughs]
[KENZI sighs]
[phone rings]
Eyes both brown and blue. Virtuous, yet lustful.
Heart both strong and gentle.
Neither Dark nor Light... yet both.
She is yours.
♪
T-Boz! You came!
Oh my god, dude. I totally just got lady groomed for my...
Oh my god. Are you my something old?
I mean, not that you look it, you just are.
Fact. All the lives.
Oh no, you're mad.
Where's Bo?
Uh, she's on a scavenger hunt looking for something new,
something old, something borrowed--
Hello! ls Valkyrie chick-lit not a thing?
Dude, that means I'm getting married.
Apparently. To Hale.
Do you really think he's here?
Did one of your sisters bring him?
I said where is Bo?
Why so sérieuse? I heard you the first time.
And what did I teach you about personal space, huh?
Seven inch minimum. Not so breathy.
[TAMSIN] I need to right my wrong.
[KENZI] Um, okay. Can I get you like, a chamomile?
Or like, a Rooibos?
Something soothing? They've got all kinds here.
[TAMSIN] Last time. Where is Bo?!
Last time? Thank Geri Halliwell,
'cause I was getting tired of that question.
[TAMSIN] Do you think I'm gonna let a little human
get in the way of my true potential?
Your true potential used to be eating a whole box
of Vector in one sitting.
Dude, come on! Cheesies, bad hair days, X-Files.
I practically raised you, remember?
I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna squeeze you 'til you pop.
Wow. And ew.
Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I was aiming for your boob.
Please tell me that's your resting Valhalla face.
Angry face. Definitely angry face.
♪
[STACEY] The not-florist. Can I help you?
I was just looking for something blue.
It's my, uh, best friend's wedding.
It's my favorite wedding movie.
No shit. You're a succubus.
Have you seen the groom?
[STACEY] Hale? I heard he's on his way.
Traffic on the Bifröst can be brutal.
Let's hope he's not late.
Or intercepted.
What did you say? I like my caveats loud and clear.
Kenzi proved herself a worthy warrior.
Frayja's celebrating her and her love.
[STACEY] It was all perfect.
Was?
Now that you're here sniffing around, I'm not so sure anymore.
I have to tell Frayja.
No, no, no. I won't get in the way.
You don't have to worry about me.
I need to see Hale.
You can't see him before the wedding. He's been fitted.
Gianni's even finished the white fedora he requested.
That's him.
This is real.
And you're disappointed?
No. I'm happy for them.
It's just that I might have to say goodbye.
Get Kenzi. He'll be here soon.
[sighs]
It's not you I'm worried about.
It's him.
[phone rings]
Um...
[TAMSIN] Let me in!
[TAMSIN] I know you're in there.
Uh, cleaning. Kenzi no here.
[TAMSIN] Oh.
Uh, s-she come back. One hour.
[TAMSIN] Oh, okay. I'll be back later.
Okay...
[exhales heavily]
[screams]
[TAMSIN] This would be so much easier...
if you would just...
--[KENZI] São Paulo sunset? --[TAMSIN] ...open the door.
How low do you go?
Here's Tammy!
And here's Bo.
Isn't it customary to end that sentence with "bitch"?
You said it, crazy eyes. Not me.
Time to deliver you.
Well guess what?
I'm not a package.
We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.
Is there a medium option?
[TAMSIN grunts]
Hard it is.
[laughing]
[BOTH grunting] [intense music]
[TAMSIN grunts]
[grunts]
Get it together, woman.
Let go of me!
You don't get to keep attacking us.
To hurt me is one thing, but Kenzi?
This is why I didn't want to come here.
Hey. Talk to me.
What did this place do to you?
It's not what Valhalla did to me.
It's what I do in Valhalla.
[TAMSIN crying] I don't want you to see me like this.
One more strike, and you won't ever step foot
into our lives again.
I have to go find Kenzi.
Wait. When you fed off of me, and you said I tasted happy...
Yeah, I know. You and Dyson.
[TAMSIN] No it's--it's not that.
For the first time in all my lives, I have a family.
[TAMSIN] This is my last life.
I don't wanna live it without you.
[phone ringing]
It's him.
Hotel perv?
[TAMSIN] No.
The man who hired me.
I thought it was The Wanderer,
but it's someone way more powerful.
[phone continues]
He wanted me to deliver a woman I didn't think could exist.
But you do.
He wants you, Bo.
Well, he can leave a message.
I have a wedding to get to.
♪
[KENZI] Um... How white is--is too white?
[BO] I love it.
Look, you only get married in your afterlife once.
[BO] You might as well do it right, right?
Yeah. I'm assuming Tamsin's not coming to axe the cake?
She's in a time out.
Okay, here. Something old.
[BO] For a warrior. From a warrior.
Joan of Arc gave it to me. I saw her in the lobby
complaining about a burnt smell in her room.
Classic Joan.
[BO] Something new. Matches from the gift shop.
Something borrowed.
And I ran out of time for something blue.
Am I the worst bridesmaid?
No. You're my something blue.
Kenzi, I'm sorry that I couldn't save Hale.
And I'm sorry that I wasn't there to save you.
It was my turn to do the saving. Can you give a girl that?
But how many times have you saved me?
A few.
Since we first met.
You save me every single day.
[BO] In ways that you could never understand.
In ways that I can barely understand.
You just did.
And I want you to be happy, I do.
And I know it doesn't seem like it
from the way I was acting, but it's true.
No, no. I know. I know.
And I don't wanna leave you here.
I know.
But you have to.
I know.
You're beautiful.
You ready?
To get married dead?
Yeah. It's what every little girl dreams about.
Let's do this shit.
♪
I can't. I can't do slow walking.
Can I just run to him?
Wait--stop.
What? Why? We're almost there. I think.
I just... need to run ahead and make sure
everything's a-okay at the altar.
Maid of honor duty. You just, stay here, okay?
[KENZI] Seriously? Okay, hurry.
♪
Hale?
[FREYJA] I sent him back.
[KENZI] What is this?
[FREYJA] You walked into the cinvat, closed the door to Hell.
Tamsin brought your soul here but you
had already promised yourself
to another after-realm.
You belong to him.
Him who?
My father.
No, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.
Send Kenzi home. Take me instead.
[BO] A soul for a soul.
I am the one he wants.
This was his plan all along.
He knew that I would come.
Yes.
[TAMSIN] Stop!
These two souls can't be separated.
Look who just read the rule book.
Bo comes wearing the Helskór and is permitted
to take home a soul that is claimed to her.
Kenzi's her claimed human.
Bobo, I'm so sorry.
No, this is not your fault.
[KENZI] I think it was him; Hale.
I felt him. He was happy.
Do you wanna stay?
No. No it's not my time.
I wanna go home with you.
Reclaim me. Quick.
I'm afraid we don't see a claim here.
Guard.
No.
I claim her! I claim Kenzi Malikov!
The deal was made before the claim was restored.
Oh, please keep her safe.
Your wish will be fulfilled.
No!
[KENZI] No! No, Bo.
Kenzi will be returned to her body.
♪
[STACEY chuckles]
Tamsin. Tam Tam.
You tried. You always did.
Just like when we were in school together.
But it's not enough.
[STACEY] It's never enough.
Screw you, Stacey.
When will you realize you are not special?
You are just like one of us.
I will never be like you.
Valhalla 101.
What does Freyja hate more than anything, girls? Hm?
Unbalanced books.
Stay away from them!
Can't.
With Kenzi gone, we're down a soul.
Time for me to get another.
[STACEY] One close to the succubus' heart.
No! No!
Good luck.
I navnet til sjelene brakt frem til Valhalla,
[LAUREN] la portene åpenbarer seg. Avslør. Avslør. Avslør!
[FEMALE screaming]
Bo?
Or Kenzi.
[DYSON growls]
♪
[VALKYRIE VOICE] Upon blessed wings, our legions carry forth
a human soul back to her body,
as requested by our leader.
And you, Wolf, have trespassed upon forbidden territory.
[DYSON] Hey. Hey.
Kenzi?
Yeah.
[eerie music]
[KENZI] Help.
[music continues]
[BO] You want me?
[grunts]
Here I come.
[elevator clinging]
[ending theme]
Ripped By mstoll