[♪]
[WHISTLES]
[SIGHS]
Hi, Suzanne.
Nice talking to you.
No's a no.
TONY: Ouch!
Oh. Hi, Tony. Oh.
Hey. Hey, that's nice.
That's good-looking. That's gorgeous.
Is that the new, uh, Air Force dress uniform?
Eh... I thought you were Dr. Bellows.
Don't let anybody in while I change, huh?
Uh, guard that door.
Well, I spend more time watching doors.
Hey, look, I like your uniform.
I don't think the red is, uh, too Air Force though. It's...
Yeah, well, it was a present from Jeannie.
She thinks Air Force uniforms are too drab.
Yeah, well, you accepted it. What do you want?
Well, I didn't have a chance to refuse.
Popped it on me about 30 seconds ago.
You know Jeannie. She's full of surprises.
Yeah, Roge. I don't know what to do though.
I mean, every time there's occasion to give, uh, some kind
of present, she pops in an incredibly expensive one.
Yeah. Like a chateau, or a yacht, or a car.
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
And, you know, I hate to keep putting her down and everything,
but I have to tell her to put 'em back, don't I?
That's not only sad, that's pathetic.
And tomorrow is... Tomorrow night is
our 6-month wedding anniversary.
Six months, mind you.
And I know she's got some extraordinary
occasion planned, and I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to tell her to stop.
What's with the red suit though? I mean, what's with the tassel?
Oh, that's the second anniversary of my being
promoted to a major.
A drum major's outfit. Very appropriate.
Excuse me.
Major Nelson, I wonder if I could ask you a favor.
Ahh!
Oh, well, your... Your drum arrived.
[♪]
Major Nelson. What the devil's going on here?
You... You broke Tony's drum. I broke it?
Put your foot right through it.
I... All right, sir. I can have it re-skinned.
Would you mind telling me
what a bass drum is doing in your office anyway?
Yeah, well, he's very musical.
It's for my nephew, sir. It's a gift.
You were saying, before you came in?
Oh, yes. Yes.
They're painting the offices opposite mine.
The fumes blow in, and it's positively
killing my chiflera.
Really? I didn't know you were ill, sir.
That plant, major.
Here, give it to me. Yes.
I, uh... I just wondered if you could, uh, keep it here
until they're finished?
Oh, certainly. Yes, sir.
Oh, thank you.
Now, you keep it out of direct sunlight.
Over here would be fine.
Now... you, uh,
feed it a pint of water twice a day,
and give it, uh...
Uh, six units of vitamin B.
How about some vitamin C? Then it won't catch a cold. Ha-ha.
I know, gentlemen, this sounds ridiculous. But it's a present
from Amanda, and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.
[DOOR CLOSES]
MAN: I realize, commander,
that the Navy's a good deal more relaxed
than the other services, but that is no reason to forget
a military courtesy like the salute.
Do you agree, commander? Oh, yes, sir.
Absolutely.
Well then?
[♪]
Take it off, commander.
This is not the deck of a destroyer.
Hey, Jay. Hi, Jay.
Well... I had to run into the general.
Yeah, I saw.
So, what's... What's with the mittens?
Oh. Stella gave it to me
for my birthday. Yeah.
Uh, she made it herself. We're having lunch,
and I thought she'd get a kick out of seeing me wear it.
At least I don't have to worry about women buying me presents.
Uh, Stella knitted that, huh? It's really great.
Yeah. If, uh...
If your right arm is six inches longer than your left.
[LAUGHING]
Say, um, why don't you and Stella
come over for coffee tonight?
Huh? About 9:00? Huh?
Yeah. Bring the sweater. I'd like Jeannie to see that.
Oh, sure. Great.
We'd love to. Good.
Then, 9:00. See you tonight.
Okay.
That's it. What's it?
The... The sweater.
When they come over tonight,
I'll praise that sweater to the skies,
and try to impress Jeannie that a handmade gift
is much more appreciated than one of those extravagant things
she blinks up for me.
Yeah, with your luck, Jeannie will
probably knit you a yacht. [CHUCKLES]
[♪]
[DOOR SHUTS]
Oh, they are a nice couple, are they not? Yeah.
And those pictures of the baby were adorable.
Mm. Six weeks old and already
starting to suck his thumb.
Mm. Master?
Mm-hm?
Did you like Amanda Russell's sweater,
or were you just being polite?
No, no. I really liked it.
And the nice thing about it is that
Stella made it herself, you know.
Now, I'd rather have something made
by your sweet little hands than...
Than... Than drum major's suit.
You did not like it?
Oh, I did. I did. I liked it a lot.
The next time I lead a band, I'm gonna wear it.
No, I was just speaking generally.
Master, you know something. What?
I love you. Ha.
I love you too.
And I'm going to prove it to you.
How? [GIGGLES]
I am not going to tell you.
It's going to be a surprise.
If I could reach it, I'd pat myself on the back.
[CHUCKLES]
Hello. Is, uh, Tracy Cernan there?
Oh, she's not? Will you, uh, tell her
I can't make our date tonight?
She's a out of town.
Yeah. Never mind. Yeah.
Cancel that message.
Major Healy.
Oh. Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Haven't you got the wrong office? Oh, no, no.
I wish to talk to you. Oh, about what?
I have the most wonderful idea.
Mm-hm? Mm.
I want to make my master a sweater for our six-month
wedding anniversary.
Now, whatever made you think of that?
I do not know.
It just came to me. Heh.
But my problem is, how do I go about it?
I don't think I can help you with knitting,
but, uh, if you'd like to crochet, I'm very good at that.
Hey, hey, it worked. What worked?
Listen, I was just about to...
When did...?
Hey. Uh, don't touch that.
That's... Uh...
That's a spring. A spring.
I was just, uh... Say, I was
talking to myself and, uh...
I, uh... What are you looking for?
Oh, I'm looking for some paper clips.
JEANNIE: Shh.
It is a secret.
Hey, Roge... Uh, Roge, it worked.
Shh.
Uh, Jeannie, uh, she's knitting a sweater for you.
Okay. Listen, I know you're busy.
I'll check with you later, okay?
Yeah. Later. Okay.
Yeah.
Hey. You can come out now.
I'm sorry, Major Healy,
but I did not wish to ruin the surprise.
Yeah. Well... Now,
how do I make a sweater?
Uh, how do you make a sweater?
Well, um, I suppose we could, uh, get some wool.
Get some wool.
And, uh... some, uh...
What do you call those long...?
Uh, knitting needles?
Knitting needles.
And a... A pattern.
Oh, a pattern. A pattern.
Wh... What...? What is the very best kind of wool?
The best kind of wool? Uh... Uh, cashmere, probably.
Tsk. Cashmere. Of course.
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN DIALECT]
[REPEATS] Why did I not think of that myself?
Oh, thank you, Major Healy. [LAUGHS]
And if I have enough wool left over,
I shall knit you a sock.
Uh. See you, Jeannie.
Nice talking to you. Yes. Goodbye.
[SIGHS]
Yeah.
Uh, just what I needed. One cashmere sock.
There they are, major.
Aren't they gorgeous?
Yeah. They're really lovely. Mm.
You know, they're very old too. They're very, very old.
They belonged to Alfred's grandmother.
She gave them to me right after we were married.
I know. Jeannie's admired them so much,
and I was thinking if I could match them,
they'd make a perfect anniversary present. Oh.
Anniversary? Why, major,
you've only been married for six months.
Uh, well, Jeannie likes to have an anniversary every month.
She doesn't think one a year is enough.
[LAUGHING] You newlyweds.
You know, Alfred thinks one a year is too much.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Uh.
Well, if you take that down to Yamamoto's, downtown,
they have marvelous cultured pearls.
I'm sure that they could match them for you.
I certainly appreciate this, Mrs. Bellows.
[GASPS] Major, you have a chiflera.
Huh? The plant.
Oh, yeah. Oh, major,
I gave one of them to Alfred,
and he just adores it. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, yes, well, you take good care of that now.
I certainly will. Bye.
Thank you so much. You're welcome.
Heh-heh.
[♪]
Oh.
Doctor Bellows. [RAPS ON WINDOW]
Doctor Bellows!
What are you doing?
Major, what are you doing out there?
Take this, sir. Take it.
But I distinctly asked you to take care of my...
You'll understand in a minute. Ah!
AMANDA: Surprise!
Oh, darling. I came by to see Major Nelson...
Oh, now, Alfred, I know you adore your chiflera,
but you don't have to carry it around. Ha.
Not with you, dear.
[LAUGHING]
[♪]
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
Come on... [KNOCK ON DOOR]
ROGER: Jeannie, it's me, Roge!
[KNOCKING]
Oh, come on in, Major Healy.
The door is open.
Come... Tsk. Oh. [DOOR OPENS]
[SIGHS]
Hi, Jeannie. I came as quick as I could.
Hey, what's wrong? Why can't I tell Tony?
Well, you see, I have a problem. Wait. Wait.
Don't tell me.
Well, I did as you said, Major Healy.
I bought the needles, the scissors, the pattern.
But my problem is how do I get the cashmere off the goat?
[♪]
Yeah.
The cashmere off the goat.
Yeah, it's... It's a goat all right.
Hi. Wh...?
W-where did you get the goat?
From Tibet.
It is a Cashmere goat.
Um... [SNIFFS]
Boy, I'm gonna have to get rid of
my old cashmere sweaters.
Wait. I thought you weren't gonna blink presents for Tony.
Oh, I did not blink him. Hm.
I went to Tibet and I bought him.
You went to Tibet...?
Boy, that's dumb. I mean, really dumb.
You could have gone down to the store.
You... [CRYING]
All I did was I wanted to buy my master a present,
and make it with my own two hands,
like any ordinary wife.
And now I've gone and I've messed it all up.
No, you haven't, Jeannie. Look, I'm sorry.
I mean, I would have done the same thing.
I mean, where else would you get a... A Tibetan Cashmere goat?
Tibet. Yeah, T... Tibetan.
Jeannie.
Jeannie? Jeannie? Look, I'm sorry.
Why don't we... We'll get Tony's electric razor,
we can shave it off and dye it, and then we can block it.
And we can knit one and pearl two.
Oh... Major Healy,
you are almost as brilliant as my master.
[GIGGLES]
Please, do not tell him anything, will you?
Oh. Wild goats couldn't drag it out of me.
Oh.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
Oh. Oh. Go and delay him.
Go delay him while I hide everything.
Please hurry. Hide. Yeah. Oh.
[♪]
[GASPS]
Goat.
Ooh.
What's... What's going on?
I was just standing by the door, and you happened to walk in.
Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, where's Jeannie?
Where's Jeannie?
Oh, well, Jeannie's in the kitchen.
Yeah.
Take a look at that.
Where did you get these? They're Amanda Bellows'.
I'm having a string made up just like 'em.
Oh. For Jeannie? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. She'd love those. Yeah.
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] Shh.
Sh. What are we whispering for?
I don't want her to know. Oh, I see.
I bet you're probably wondering why I'm here.
I just, uh... Hello, husband darling.
Oh. Did you have a good day?
Mm. Yeah. Great. Great.
What is that smell?
That's my after-shave. It is my perfume.
It smalls like wild animals or something.
Oh, yeah. It's, uh, called, uh...
Uh, Essence of Wild Animals.
[CHUCKLES] Well... Well, e-excuse me.
I-I-I will finish dinner.
Yeah. Wow.
[WHISTLES]
What's the matter?
I don't know. That smell.
Give me a piece of that candy over there, will you? Okay.
Uh, the candy's all gone.
It can't be all gone.
It was full this morning.
Anyway, you don't want to spoil your appetite.
It's my appetite. Just give me a piece of candy.
Uh, Jeannie, uh, T-Tony wants a piece of candy
and spoil his appetite.
Oh, it is all... Oh!
Yeah, you're right. It is empty.
Well... Yeah.
[♪]
Now. Hold still, goat.
This will not hurt a bit. [BUZZING]
TONY: Jeannie? Jeannie?
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. [SHUTS OFF RAZOR]
I'm... I'm coming, darling.
[YAWNS]
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
Goodbye, master, darling.
How... Have a good day.
Oh, wait a minute. I'm not going to work.
Oh. Why not?
Well, uh, for one thing,
I haven't had a chance to shave.
I can't find my electric razor.
[GIGGLES] Oh. Well.
There. You are all shaved.
I shall see you tonight.
Now, wait a minute.
Uh, secondly, I haven't had my breakfast yet.
Oh. How thoughtless of me. Yeah.
There you are, darling.
It is one of those instant breakfasts.
It is very nourishing.
Oh. Yeah. W... Mm-hm.
We... And thirdly, uh, today's Saturday.
I don't go to work on Saturday, you know?
Oh. Heh-heh.
Are you, uh, planning on staying home all day?
Well, I have a couple of errands to run this morning.
Oh, good, darling. Have a nice errand. Now...
Hey.
Ever since I walked in this room,
you've been trying to hustle me out of here.
W-what's happening, huh?
[GROANS]
Oh. I... How could you say that, darling? I...
I... I am perfectly delighted
to have you at home, so I can love you
and pamper you and...
And cater to your every whim.
Marvelous, marvelous.
Yes, darling.
You definitely shall stay home, and you shall
go right back to bed, and I shall bring you your breakfast.
Listen. You don't have to go overboard.
The kitchen's fine. I'll eat there.
Oh, no, darling. I insist.
Look, Jeannie, will you stop blinking.
I'm getting dizzy with all of this.
Then you certainly should lie down. Huh?
[GROANS]
Hey. Jeannie, what's going on?
Oh.
[SIGHS]
Well, why fight it?
[GROANS]
Yeah. [RINGING]
Yeah?
Oh, hello, Mrs., uh... Mrs. Bellows.
How are you doing?
Oh, Major Nelson, good morning.
I hope I didn't wake you.
Uh, no. I've been up twice already.
Well, I'm calling about the pearls.
Wondering if you've been able to match them yet.
I was going over to Yamamoto's this morning.
Oh, good. You see, Alfred and I are going
to a dinner party tonight, and I wanted to wear them.
No problem. I'll drop 'em off at your place before noon.
Oh, that's fine. Thank you very much, major.
Okay. Bye.
[♪]
Please, goat. [BLEATING]
I do not have much time.
All I want is a little of your wool.
Jeannie. I'd like to talk to you.
[GASPS] Oh, dear.
Say, Jeannie. Do you know anything about this?
Oh. Y... Y-your jacket.
No, it's not the jacket.
It's what happened to the jacket.
Oh. Heh-heh.
Uh, moth?
Mo... Djinn Djinn. Is that dog back here?
No, no, master. Honestly, I would never do that.
I would never bring him back. Not without asking you.
Look, Jeannie. It's not what happened to the jacket.
It was what was in the pocket that I'm worried about.
Oh. What was in the pocket, master?
Nothing. No, nothing.
Well, there must have been. You said...
It's all right. Forget it. It doesn't matter.
It's okay.
Must be around here somewhere.
[♪]
[GASPS]
Oh.
Candy?
Master. Wh...
M-master. Uh...
when are you going on your errand?
As soon as I find what I'm looking for.
Well, if you tell me what it is, I could help you.
Uh, no, that's all right.
You... You go on doing what you were doing.
[GOAT BLEATS]
Oh.
[RUMBLING] Hey. What's going on?
Oh, it's the...
The sonic boom.
Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh...
Master, it seems that we are getting in each other's way
this morning. So if you do not mind,
I think I will leave you for a little while.
That's not a bad idea.
Okay. Have fun, darling.
Now I gotta find those pearls.
Uh...
Now, Mr. Goat, you are finally going to get sheared.
Jeannie.
Hello, Dr. Bellows.
What's that goat doing here?
Oh, well. You see, I am knitting Anthony a sweater.
He is what I am knitting it out of.
If I can ever get him sheared.
Ah. I see.
Oh, Jeannie, I'm terribly sorry to tell you,
but this is a military installation.
Uh... We don't allow goats here.
Oh, please, Dr. Bellows, he will not harm anything.
And I must get the sweater finished by tonight.
Tonight?
Mm-hm.
And you haven't even sheared the wool yet?
Oh, Jeannie, I'm afraid that's impossible.
You see, the wool has to be washed
and hung up to dry for several days.
And it has to be dyed and carded,
and spun into yarn.
It's not just as if you could...
blink your eyes
and have it all done.
No. No, no, it is not.
If it were up to me, I'd let you work here,
but if General Schaeffer ever came and found a goat, well...
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry, Jeannie, but you'll have to go.
I understand, Dr. Bellows.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Come on, goat.
Come on.
There you go.
[♪]
Tsk. Major, this is just terrible.
What are we going to do?
I don't know, Mrs. Bellows.
For the last four hours, I went over that house inch by inch,
and they just disappeared.
I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.
Oh, major, there's nothing to say.
Oh. What am I going to tell...?
[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS] Alfred?
Tell Alfred what?
I'll, uh... I'll tell him, Mrs. Bellows.
Well, sir, do you know that string of pearls that
your grandmother gave Mrs. Bellows
when you got married? Mm-hm.
Well, I'm afraid I lost them.
No, you didn't.
What?
Alfred, he's trying to tell you.
Now, I did lose them, sir. No, no, no.
You may have lost some pearls, major,
but they were only paste imitations.
BOTH: What?
Well, you see, uh, Amanda's very careless about jewelry.
I never let her run around with the, uh...
Uh, valuable string of pearls
like that... Mm-hm.
So, uh, I had some imitations made. Oh.
And I locked up the real ones in the safe at NASA.
What are you talking about? [CHUCKLES]
I am not careless.
You lent them to Major Nelson, and he lost them. Mm-hm.
Now, need I say more?
I hate him when he's right.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, Alfred, you old fuddy-duddy, you.
Uh... Uh, Dr. Bellows.
I... I was gonna match those pearls
for a present for Jeannie.
It's their six-month anniversary tonight.
I know. I...
Yes, and I was wondering
if we could get to NASA right away.
Maybe there's still time.
All right. Let's give it a try.
Here we go.
Jeannie?
Honey, are you here?
[♪]
Hey. What are you doing in there?
Come on out. I want to talk to you.
Hey, what's the matter? Are you mad at me?
Come on out.
All right. Uh...
blink me in there.
Oh.
[SOBBING] Oh, master.
I am a failure as a wife.
Honey.
Darling, now, wait a minute.
What's the matter?
I...
[SOBBING] What is it?
I wanted to make you a sweater for our anniversary
with my own two hands, without blinking,
with no magic.
And I bought the goat,
and I bought the pattern,
and I bought the knitting needles.
Yes?
And I could not do it.
I would have to blink.
And I have nothing for our anniversary.
[CHUCKLING] Oh. Oh, come on.
Come on, it's all right.
Oh, what is so funny?
Well, I'll tell you. Wait till you hear.
I borrowed Mrs. Bellows' pearls to have them matched for you,
and... And the goat, uh... I lost them.
And by... By the time I found them,
all the stores were closed,
and there's nothing I could do about 'em.
So I...
I don't have anything for you either.
Nothing?
[CHUCKLING] Not a thing.
Oh.
Oh, that is wonderful.
[♪]
Oh.
Hey. Pretty cozy in here, huh?
Mm.
Why don't we have our anniversary in here?
Mm. [BOTH CHUCKLE]
[RIPPING, TEARING]
Master. Hm?
What is that noise?
I haven't the slightest idea.
And I don't even care. Mm.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[♪]