Sugar,
spice...
and everything nice.
These were the ingredients chosen
to create the perfect girl.
But Professor Utonium accidentally added
an extra ingredient to the concoction--
Chemical X.
[boom]
Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born!
Using their ultra-super powers,
Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup
have dedicated their lives to fighting crime
and the forces of evil!
NARRATOR: The city of Townsville--
a succinct city where simple questions
are given simple answers.
Guilty.
What?!
I object!
Which is to say that I do not agree
with that it is what you say,
which is incorrect, lacking in proper knowledge
of the truth, and wrong.
Furthermore-- [gavel bangs]
Order!
Due to your obvious failure for rehabilitation,
I have decided that the best form of punishment
is for you to give back to the community
from which you have taken so much.
Must I pick up garbage?
You, Mojo Jojo, are hereby sentenced
to teach in a knowledge extension course
at Townsville community college.
No!
By which, I mean, I cannot do it.
[bell ringing]
[students murmuring]
[murmuring stops]
Hello and good evening to you.
I am Mojo Jojo, your instructor,
and the person who will be teaching you
from this point forward.
That is to say that as you are here representing
the students of the class,
I am here representing the teacher of the class.
And as it is my job to teach, it is your job to learn,
and in learning,
gain more intelligence than you currently have.
Now, what are the names or individual identifications
that have been assigned to the lot of you?
- Philippe. - Italia.
- Enriquez. - Nadia.
- Ernst. - Ming.
- Harook.
I see.
Now, as teacher and thus assigner of the grades
in this class, if I were to be performing
said grading right now at this moment
let me tell you that none of you pass!
[gasping]
That is right.
In the grading system,
I would have assigned you all with an "F,"
which, if I had control of the grading system,
I would make the lowest grade a "Z"
since that is the final letter in the alphabet
which starts with "A" and ends with "Z."
But instead, the letter given for those who do most poorly
is an "F," seeing as it goes "A," "B,"
"C," "D," "F,"
with the inexplicable skipping of "E."
Nonetheless, after that pathetic display,
all of you would get an "F" symbolizing failure
for your poor use of English.
Pardon, monsieur,
but all you did was ask of us our names
and that is what we answered with.
Yes, and that is wrong
because it is boring and uninteresting
and thoroughly bringing me about
to a state of unconsciousness.
From those simple, pathetic names I learned nothing.
I am here to teach you proper English.
And with that you are to learn
proper descriptive and defining skills.
Now, let us try this again.
Tell me your names.
Um, my name is Philippe,
which is to say that upon my birth
my parents Jean-Paul and Camille
placed upon me this title which identifies me as me
and separates me from all the others.
Excellent!
Next.
Si. I am called Italia after my aunt Tally,
which is shorter and more, um,
casual version of Talia--
often referred to as a nickname,
which is a term of endearment--
The name Harook does not trip off the tongue lightly.
It is a name of substance and vigor
for which I am proud and take much pride.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Now that was some speaking,
and what was spoken was spoken well.
Class dismissed.
Is the class, which seemed to just start, really over...
as in done?
Yes, the two hours allotted as time for class
is now finished,
and the time for leaving has now begun.
See you tomorrow, which is the day that will begin
after the passing of tonight's midnight hour.
NARRATOR: The city of Townsville!
A succinct city where simple questions
are given simple answers--
except for...
What's this?
What kind of a simple question
is that to ask of the woman
to whom you wish to enter the state of matrimony?
Your question lacks the complexity
and weight that is apropos
of such a complex and weighty matter,
and thus makes me question your true heartfelt feelings
in this serious life decision.
Ketchup or mustard?
Do you mean would I prefer
the sweet fluid tomato flavorings
or the smashed, liquefied mustard seed renderings
enjoyed by most consumers
upon the hottest of dogs?
Uh, yeah.
Is that dog, which you hold within the embrace of your arms,
also held within your ownership?
By which I mean are you the sole caregiver
for this pooch that is within your personal grasp?
In other words, is that your schnauzer?
Um, no.
It's my cat in a dog suit.
[dog whines]
Well, then let me tell you...
If that is your simple
and plainly painfully boring answer...
Then you are in need of being reeducated by...
Mojo Jojo.
[clamoring]
[bell rings]
[door slams]
[clamoring ends]
Why is my class, which was previously
merely a few people, now more than a few--
which equals many?
Because in our speaking of
proper English around Townsville, sir Mojo,
it became clear to those previously in the dark
that their English was inaccurate,
that they must enter the light
accepting that it is in the hearing,
not in the seeing that this light has come upon them.
Ah, yes!
Good!
I see!
So, now it begins, starts, and comes to commencement!
To the masses I must now reach.
And in the reaching, these classroom walls
cannot confine my unending grasp.
[buzzing]
Yes, Mayor?
What? Yes, but--where?
There is a stealing of sorts
happening at the place where money is given and taken,
that is to say deposited and withdrawn,
and sometimes redistributed and loaned.
But currently, the taker is taking that which is not his,
thus performing an act of illegality
which could result in incarceration
within the confines of a penal facility--
that is to say prison, jail, hoosegow, et cetera.
What's he saying?
I have no idea,
but I think something bad is happening.
Let's go!
Look!
I don't believe it.
The town's at a complete standstill.
But why?
Is there an accident?
All I see is that cop and that old lady.
Let's check it out.
You realize that you were walking in the crosswalk
after the green walking man had stopped being displayed
and when the flashing red hand had become
the prominent visual.
And while I appreciate the change
in the crosswalk signage,
the fact of the matter is I am of elderly persuasion.
And due to the deterioration of calcium level in my bones
my pedestrian abilities, which is to say my walking,
is of a much slower pace
than the average citizen of Townsville.
[tea pot whistling]
[honk]
Is this a crime?
No, just annoying.
Maybe the Mayor was trying to tell you
about a bank robbery.
To the bank!
The amount which I want to withdraw
is not that from any bank account
which I hold within the bank.
In other words, I wish to take money
that does not belong to me, but is instead
in the ownership of others who have worked hard
to gather funds for their future rainy days.
But what I am asking you is
do you have an account which I can access,
and if so, what are the numerical digits
for me to properly type upon the keyboard
to tap into the computer system
which allows me permission
into all of the fund-related requests?
And what you are failing to understand
is that I do not have said accounts
since I am not a patron of this fine establishment
except to take from it that which is not mine.
Is this a stickup?
Seems more like a stuck up.
What the heck is going on here?
And so I, Mojo Jojo,
impart upon you the empowerment of Mo' linguish.
Mo' linguish?!
There's the crime!
And with this power,
you will no longer speak in brief, boring
abbreviated sentences,
but instead will wow the crowds
with your scintillating usage of an overabundance of nouns,
verbs, adjectives, pronouns,
prepositions, and of course the conjunction junctions
which have a multiple of functions.
With the skill of Mo' linguish,
the world, which was previously not yours to be taken,
will be at your fingertips!
That's it!
He's done it.
Mojo has managed to bring Townsville
to a complete standstill
by having all of the people speak
in the most lengthy of questions
and redundant of answers!
Thus nothing can be asked or answered
without the verbosity of words
causing the city to come to a permanent
and most painful halt.
Furthermore-- - Bubbles!
- Sorry!
We've got to reprogram Townsville--
bringing their speech patterns back to normal.
Come on!
Ma'am, officer,
all this can be solved
by you briefly stating your point
and moving on.
But if I were to speak briefly,
it would mean that I did not speak
all that I wished to have spoken,
meaning that I would not fully express myself
to the fullest, and thus spoken in too small of a sentence
to properly satisfy.
And if I simply said yes or no,
the reasoning behind that yes or no
would be unheard and unvoiced
and unpontificated,
thus leaving me with a feeling of stifled combustion
that would be ready to explode.
Oh, this isn't going to work.
Certainly not if our wish is to
remedy this situation
which is currently lacking closure--
- Bubbles! - Bubbles!
Someone has to reteach them.
But do we know whose English is good enough
to reverse the effects of Mo' linguish
and retrain all these people to speak properly,
thus eliminating the circular pattern
in which they are speaking?
Darn it! Now I'm doing it.
I can think of only one in Townsville
who has that power.
Now repeat after me.
The color of the sky is...
Blue.
The color of the grass is...
Green.
The stop sign on the street is...
Red.
Very good.
Now, let's move on to numbers.
A dozen is...
12.
Well, this is going well.
Do you think Mojo is really learning his lesson?
Oh, I think he's learning quite a bit.
The Easter Bunny hides...
Eggs,
which are generally regular eggs
which have been boiled in the hottest of water
and then decorated in a vinegar-based dye
by placing--ow!
Keep it brief, buddy.
Eggs.
NARRATOR: And so once again the day is saved,
because it was a day that was in need of being saved
due to the previously unsaved nature of the day.
Thanks and in most humble gratitude
and that is saying in much appreciation
to the Powerpuff Girls.
Enough already!
Sorry.
My most humble apologies.
Please forgive me.
As the narrator, that is to say teller of the story,
I feel like I must provide a snappy button,
that is a concluding phrase,
to each one of your action-packed adventures.
Quiet!
NARRATOR: The city of Townsville.
And it's no accident that we are at the home
of the Powerpuff Girls.
Girls, time for lunch!
All right!
I can't wait to see what he makes today.
Hi, girls.
Oh, have you seen my cooking hat?
Are you ok, Professor?
Oh, I'm fine.
It's just that--oh, no!
I forgot to form the meat into burger patties.
Oh, just a sec while I wipe these onion tears off.
Ha ha.
Oh, there we go.
Now, where's my cooking hat?
Oh, there you are!
Wow! That was great, Professor!
Huh?
Uh, what was that now?
Oh, well, look at that.
They were supposed to be hamburgers,
but I guess sloppy Joes are even better.
Gee, Professor,
this is another great accident you've created.
An accident?
Wh-what do you mean?
Everything great you've ever created
has been by accident.
- Yeah. - Uh-huh!
And these are accidentally fantastic.
By accident?
You mean my inventions are all--
[gasps]
You're right!
All my creations have been by accident!
You created Dynamo on purpose.
Dynamo.
But you also destroyed my beautiful city!
Never use that, that...
monstrosity again!
But--but, it's the Professor's fault.
He made us use it.
But--but it...
gotta go!
[boom]
And you three.
When I tried to create the perfect little girls,
I accidentally created you.
Oh, dear me.
It is true.
I...I don't know what to say.
Oh, Professor,
lots of inventions were discovered by accident,
like electricity.
Yeow!
And the telephone.
And let's not forget Velcro.
Oh, wait, aliens gave us that.
Oh, but that's not half as shocking as realizing
I'm an accidental Professor!
I'm no amazing inventor.
I've never invented anything good on purpose.
Cheer up, Professor.
If you did everything on purpose,
you wouldn't have us.
Yeah, imagine how boring your life would be
if we weren't accidents.
Professor?
Is he gonna finish his sloppy Joe?
[door creaks]
[computers beeping]
Accidental.
Well, not today!
I'm gonna purposely create the best invention ever!
Oh! There!
I've done it.
The perfect invention!
[boom]
Oh, who am I kidding?
I'll never invent anything great on purpose.
I'm just an accidental Professor.
Lots of inventions were discovered by accident.
I can't do anything on purpose.
Imagine how boring your life would be
if we weren't accidents.
Accidental.
Is he gonna finish his sloppy Joe?
Purpose...
accidental...
Sugar!
And spice!
These are the ingredients that were purposely added
to create the perfect little girls.
And then the Professor added another ingredient,
everything nice.
[ka-boom]
Pow!
The run of the mill girls were born.
Using their ultra-normal abilities,
Bertha, Beatrice, and Betty
have dedicating their lives to just hanging around
and doing nothing extraordinary.
[snarling]
Hurry, girls!
We don't want to be late for school...again.
Where are my books?
I don't know what dress to wear!
Bertha, Bertha, Bertha!
Ok, girls, I'll help out.
Everyone, let's get into your clothes.
Here we go.
Bertha!
Uh, what are you doing?
Oh, yeah. Anyway.
Just get dressed so we aren't late.
Hope you're hungry.
Yay!
Plain eggs and white bread toast!
Nothing but the best for my special little girls.
I can't wait for school! It's career day!
I think Joey likes me.
Oh, let's get going, girls.
Oh, wait, I forgot my books!
Hold on!
Ahem!
Hmm.
So, um...
you girls ready for...
another day at school?
Yeah.
Sure.
I got them. Let's go.
I got shotgun!
[horns honking]
Is the traffic being caused by another giant monster?
Yes. Someone really should get on that.
Children, today's topic is career day,
and today's guest is our very own Mayor.
Yeah, this is so cool!
Oh, it's him.
Well, children,
being Mayor is the most exciting job in the world!
Let me take you through a normal day.
Ms. Bellum, my pickles, please!
[straining]
Darn it, I can never get these things open.
Would anyone like to help the Mayor?
Oh! Oh! Yeah, me, me.
Pick me! Me! Me!
Oh, I will.
Yes, yes. I do, I do!
Well, ok, normal girls.
Let's see if you've got what it takes.
[straining]
Ga! Ga! Ga!
[sighs]
[growling]
Nice try.
Let me see that, sweetie.
There you go, Mayor.
Gimme! Gimme!
Oh, precious!
Daddy's got you.
You girls are cute,
but I wouldn't call on you in a crisis.
How was school today, girls?
Fine, nothing new.
Well, the weekend is here.
And I'm sure we could all use a couple of relaxing days.
Oh, someone should really do something about this.
[snarling]
Take that, you evil doer!
Come and get me, punk!
You're no match for the three of us!
Give up!
Girls, what's going on?
just kicking major butt on "Save the World III."
Yeah, it's the newest video game.
Ha ha! Gotcha!
Oh, I thought maybe...
Oh, never mind.
I'll just finish the laundry.
Have fun, and stay safe.
[ringing]
Hello?
Hello, Bubbles?
Uh, no, this is Beatrice.
I'm sorry, wrong number.
[hangs up]
Ok, girls, good night.
I'll be working late tonight at the lab.
[telephone rings]
Pizza pie laboratory?
Large pepperoni?
You got it!
Hey, how's that medium mushroom coming?
It's all ready, Jimmy.
[telephone ringing]
Oh, man, is there a better way to spend Friday night?
Oh, I don't think so, Jimmy.
Man, it's gonna be busy tonight.
Pizza pie laboratory.
You got it, sir.
Man, oh, man, what an exciting job!
Ha ha!
Well, maybe just a cat nap
before things get really busy.
Professor?
Are you ok?
You've been down here for a while.
Girls!
It's you!
It's really you!
Oh, you're floating, you have big eyes,
no fingers, and superpowers!
Yep, he finally cracked.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you girls.
I like you the way you are--
and the way I am,
even if I can only invent things by accident.
[ka-boom]
Wow, Professor!
That's the best thing you've ever invented!
The world will be a better place.
Oops, I did it again.
[laughter]
NARRATOR: And so once again, the real day is saved,
not the what if on purpose day--
not that that needed to be saved,
it was pretty run of the mill,
thanks to the Professor!
♪ Blossom, commander and the leader ♪
♪ Bubbles, she is the joy and the laughter ♪
♪ Buttercup, she's the toughest fighter ♪
♪ Powerpuffs save the day ♪
♪ Fighting crime, trying to save the world ♪
♪ here they come just in time ♪
♪ the Powerpuff Girls ♪
♪ Fighting crime, trying to save the world ♪
♪ here they come just in time ♪
♪ the Powerpuff Girls ♪
Powerpuff!