(Cell phone beeping)
Party at my place Saturday night.
Be there.
This invitation is non-transferable.
Cool kids only.
I got invited, I got invited!
Party at my place, Saturday night.
Me too, me too!
(Cell phone chiming)
Party at my place...
I'm in, I'm in!
We almost had to shun you.
I know.
Ooh, Tess, guess what?
I just got invited to Tyler Green's "cool crowd only" party!
Isn't that great?
For a minute there, I didn't think I made the cut.
And that would've been, like, complete and utter social death.
What party?
No party.
(Laughing)
Small get-together.
Probably won't last long.
I'm only going to be polite.
What's this?
Boy/girl freak wasn't invited?
I'm shocked.
No, wait, I would've been shocked if you were invited.
Because, as I noted earlier, you're a boy/girl freak.
So, if you'll excuse us, we're going to have to shun you now.
Ready?
BOTH: Okay!
Allie?
Sorry, we're trained to move as a unit.
It's a cheerleader thing?
You'd actually go to this party knowing I'm not invited?
Well, I just...
(Cell phone chiming)
Party at my place, Saturday night.
Be there.
Of course I wouldn't go!
Dodged a bullet there, didn't you?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Hey, man, see you at the party.
Hey, guys, see you at the party.
Hey, Foster?
Yeah?
Could you move a sec?
Hey, Julie, you looking good.
See you at the party?
Hey, ladies, see you at the party.
No party.
Small get-together.
Probably won't last long.
I'm only going to be polite.
(Clearing throat)
It's okay.
I'll be fine.
Excuse me.
Okay, so for the party, I'm thinking hair up.
(Laughing)
What?
He said he was fine.
(Sam crying)
♪ Feels like I'm caught in the middle ♪
♪ Drama comes with every new day ♪
♪ So far to fall ♪
♪ Walking the tightrope ♪
♪ But I wouldn't have it any other way ♪
♪ We're gonna put one foot in front of the other ♪
♪ Get tripped up and step on one another ♪
♪ We move ahead and try to keep it on track ♪
♪ 'Cause we know we got each other's back ♪
♪ Don't need to fight it ♪
♪ No need to deny ♪
♪ It's a crazy life, a random life ♪
♪ A wonderful life ♪
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com
Come on, Sam.
You can't stay in there all day.
SAM: Yes, I can.
I brought my lunch.
Nothing is getting me out of this locker.
(Farting)
It's okay, I have a straw.
Seriously, you're taking this too hard.
It's not like you're the only guy in class that didn't get invited.
I got invited!
SAM: Was that Nerdy Nicky?
BOTH: No.
Please let me come to the party!
No.
Now get up, dude.
You're embarrassing yourself.
Fine!
And remember, after school we're going shopping for Mom's birthday present.
Okay.
(Exhaling)
Hey, Tyler, what's the deal?
You invited Nerdy Nicky but you won't invite my brother?
She said with respect, not wanting to offend you.
This doesn't make any sense.
Look, I know my brother isn't on the football team like you
or the wrestling team like me...
Or cute like me.
Do you ever turn it off?
I could, but then I wouldn't be perky.
(Laughing)
Carry on.
Look, Tess, I don't want to
be a bad guy here, but...
Then don't.
Please?
I mean, this really means a lot to him.
Is it really going to kill you to invite him?
I mean...
...look at this.
(Sam gasping)
I'm sorry.
All right, fine.
Hey, Sam, see you at the party.
Yes!
You know, Saturday is kind of short notice.
I'll have to juggle a few things.
But I think it's doable.
Wow, what a relief.
Hey, make a great clam dip.
Sweet, new phone!
Let me see, let me see!
Dude, I don't need your grubby little peanut butter hands gunking it up.
Okay, okay, wait.
(Dog whimpering)
How about now?
Sure.
Wait a minute, I'm getting a call.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry, the phone says "Keep me away from Johnny Wookiehands."
Cool.
I'm Johnny Wookiehands.
(Growling)
(Laughing)
Little help here?
Sure.
Spence, go help Dad.
Gabriel.
Fine.
But let's be honest, you would've been disappointed if I didn't try.
True.
I'd help too, but I have to go out back and ask Mr.
Glassmeyer if there's going to be a full moon tonight.
When he says no, I'm going to go, "Whew."
Because of the fur.
Have fun.
Yes!
Hey, Mr. Glassmeyer!
Really?
Hey, you said a little help.
Yeah, well now I'm saying a little more.
Come on.
SPENCER: Hey, Mr. Glassmeyer got a cat.
No, Spencer, that's not a cat!
That's a...
Stupid skunk.
I hate tomato juice.
I know, buddy.
But it's the only thing that's going to get the smell out.
Incoming.
(Gasping and spitting)
You know what would make me feel better?
If I could play with your phone.
Aw, then I guess you're just not going to feel better.
No but, I...
Incoming.
Don't worry, Spence.
Once the smell's gone we'll hose you off outside.
Outside?
In Skunk Country?
No way.
I tried to chase him onto Glassmeyer's property, but then
I had second thoughts.
I mean, why do that to the skunk?
Why do that to the skunk?
(Whimpering)
You too?
That's it, you're out of the Christmas card.
You did catch him, right?
I mean, he's not still out there, is he?
Well, technically, he is.
But believe me, son, he's long gone.
Dad?
Because when Jack Foster
chases a wild animal away...
Dad!
That animal stays away.
Interesting theory.
Let's ask him.
He's back?!
What kind of father are you?!
Let's not over...
(Gabe screaming)
...react.
Little late, Dad.
A little late.
(Indistinct chattering)
Tyler, Kay, Stace.
Other cool people.
What's up?
Dude, see you at the party.
Yes, you will, because I will be there.
Because you invited me.
Excuse me.
I have to go write a very angry letter to the company who made
this shoddy lid.
See you at the party.
Angry.
So angry.
Many words, because as they say, the pen is a better weapon than the stone.
So angry.
(Laughing)
I can't believe you're letting Sam come.
He's such a dweeb.
Well, why do you think I'm inviting him?
He's the entertainment.
You know, I thought messing with Nerdy Nicky would be enough,
but when Tess practically begged me I figured, "Hey, two
dweebs are better than one."
Right?
(Laughing)
That guy is nothing but a
walking pile of...
Little kid.
...crunchy cookies.
But don't have too many.
They'll rot your teeth.
Cute kid.
Wow, if you'd have just left Sam in his locker, none of this
would've happened.
Just a little tip for the future: a good friend wouldn't
have pointed that out.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
But we both know it's true.
(Laughing)
(Cell phone chiming)
Mm-mmm.
(Harp music playing over phone)
No way.
MALE RECORDING, OVER PHONE:
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
Okay, Spence, I've set traps all over the yard.
He comes back, that stinker's going in the clinker.
SPENCER, OVER RADIO: You can't rhyme your way out of
this one, buddy.
I'm not coming out of my room until you catch him.
But Spence...
I want action, not words.
Although some cookies might ease the pain of my
disappointment in you.
And don't eat them!
I'm not.
Hey, Gabe, have you seen...?
(Coughing)
Whoa, what is your new body wash called?
Mouldy Egg Salad Left in a Hot Locker for Men?
Spencer got skunked.
And FYI, I don't use body wash.
My natural scent has the success rate of 98.3%.
The other 1.7 suffer from allergies and miscellaneous sinus issues.
Wow.
I know.
Amazing, isn't it?
Yeah.
You actually did math.
Yay.
My new phone got a calculator.
Sam.
Room.
Thanks.
Whatevs.
Is Gabe the most awesome guy in the world?
MALE RECORDING: Oh, yeah.
Does he get all the ladies?
Oh, yeah.
You are a smart phone.
Yes, you are.
Tess, which one of these is going to rock the party more?
Spiky or slick?
Once again, spiky or slick?
Look, about the party...
I know, I know.
You do?
Yeah.
I should've said thanks for getting me in and I didn't.
You're the best sister ever.
No.
No, I'm not.
Yes.
Yes, you are.
Thanks to you, tomorrow night is going to set my rep at that school forever.
Well, you're not wrong there.
What?
Nothing.
Tess, I hate seeing you like this, and I don't know if this
is going to make you feel any better, but your new shoes fit me perfectly.
(Laughing)
Why do your solutions always have the word "me" in them?
I was just trying to help.
Excuse...
"Me"?
I was going to say "Moi."
I don't know what else to do.
If I tell Sam the truth, he'll be destroyed.
And if I don't tell him the truth and he goes to that
party, he'll be destroyed.
Please, you can't destroy Sam.
He's like one of those drug-resistant super bugs.
I keep spraying and spraying, but every time I turn around, there he is.
"You will be mine, you will be mine."
(Buzzing)
You're right.
He's tough enough to take it.
And besides, what choice do I have?
He's going to find out eventually.
It might as well be from someone who actually cares about him.
Someone with compassion.
Someone who loves him.
Dad!
Dad, Dad, Dad!
Not now, sweetie.
Unless it's one of those female hormone things which will be
incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for both us.
But go ahead.
I'm here for you.
It's not a hormonal thing.
Yes!
Oh, but when you're ready, we'll talk, we'll hug; it'll be great.
Spence, I caught the skunk.
No, Dad, it's about Sam.
What about me?
Well, first, that.
And second, that.
Let's just make it one through five.
Seriously, that bad.
Like you know what heats up the hotties.
You're a wrestler.
Admit it, this is having an effect on you.
(Buzzing)
(Groaning)
Listen, since my new 'do obviously has you buzzing with
excitement, I was thinking...
you, me, the party.
Magic time.
The only magic I'm thinking about right now is you disappearing.
Poof time.
It's not working and it never will.
Because as Harry Potter taught us, the greatest magic of all is love.
So, what you're saying is no matter what I do, no matter how
much I reject you, you will never crack, you will never
crumble and you will never, ever be defeated?
She so gets me.
Sam, I have something to tell you.
Okay, well, I'm sensing a family moment.
And since my family's at home, I should really be there for it.
(Nervous laughter)
Bye.
What's going on?
Look, Sam...
...you can't go to that party.
Why not?
Okay, I'm just going to say this.
Quick.
Clean.
Like ripping off a Band-Aid.
It's going to hurt at first, but then the healing can begin.
What?
Okay, when you go to that party, those jerks you think
are so nice, those jerks you want to hang out with...
Those jerks are going to deliberately humiliate one of
the sweetest guys I know.
Nerdy Nicky.
You're kidding.
No.
And I find it totally disgusting.
Totally.
I could never go to a party and watch people do something that cruel.
And this guy's going to do something about it.
That's my Sammy.
You tell them.
Don't worry, I will.
Hey, Nicky.
They're going to make fun of you at the party.
Yeah, bummer.
Bye.
All right, he's out.
So, what's the verdict?
Faux-hawk or no-hawk?
You got to be kidding me.
You're still going?
Of course I am.
It's the coolest party of the year.
Maybe I'll go with a skater cap.
That says "bad boy."
They're going to make fun of you too.
What?
I overheard Tyler at the Blend.
That's the only reason they invited you.
Well, maybe you didn't hear him right.
Maybe he was talking about somebody else.
(Sighing)
I'm sorry, Sam.
I really am.
Spencer, you got to trust me.
He's in a cage in the garage.
Let me show you.
Forget it!
Come on, Spence.
Come on, Sam!
SAM: Leave me alone.
You know, that girl hormone thing would've been easier to
deal with than this.
Like I'm ever going to talk to you about that.
I love you, kid.
It's been over an hour.
You got to eat sometime.
And we've got meat-lovers pizza for my meat-loving boys.
Every bite, an explosion of meat in your mouth!
Just because it's on the box doesn't mean you have to say it out loud.
I really thought this would work.
They got to be starving by now.
Don't think so.
They've got Spencer's secret stash.
What secret stash?
You're not supposed to know this, but he runs a standing
poker game every Thursday afternoon at recess.
Excuse me?
Not for money, for candy.
And this week he filled an inside straight.
Came home with a backpack full of chocolate bunnies.
And I'm talking those big, solid suckers.
Chocolate bunnies.
They could last for months in there.
But they still have to use the bathroom.
Or they could use the window.
Oh, that's why that lilac bush never blooms.
I don't know what else to do.
Well, we could move that bush
a little to the right...
Dad.
Okay, okay.
Spencer, please, you can't let this beat you down.
So you got skunked.
That kind of thing happens in life.
But you know what?
A lot of other wonderful things happen in life too.
And you won't get to do any of them if you don't come out.
He's right, Sam.
Tyler and his friends are idiots, and they only win if
you care about what they think.
But if you come out of that room and go to school on Monday
like the cool... ly unique guy
I know you are, then you'll be
the winner, not them.
You're not whizzing out the window right now, are you?
They're coming out.
Whoa.
That was like a hawk with a field mouse.
(Imitating hawk screaming)
Okay, I am starving.
I'm smelling pizza, but I'm not seeing it.
Why?
It's locked in there with Sam and Spence.
Which brings us back to why?
Because Spencer's so spooked by the skunk he won't come out.
And Sam found out he was only invited to the party to get made fun of.
And now he's afraid to go to school.
I got it.
Sam, Spence.
Man up and open this stinking door, or skunks and junior high
jerks are going to be the least of your problems.
You hear me?
And I swear, if I'm not getting a meat explosion in my mouth
ASAP, you're not going to live to see the morning.
Dinner will be served momentarily.
Yeah, like that's going to work.
I'll set the table.
I'll get the drinks.
I don't get it.
We tried intelligence, compassion and understanding.
And that worked?
Well, honey, I guess sometimes the only thing that gets through to a boy is
another boy.
It's sort of like when monkeys are talking to each other.
To them it makes perfect sense, but to us it's just...
(Imitating monkey gibbering)
Come on, Sam.
Dad's waiting in the car.
I don't know if I can go to school.
It's going to be fine.
Trust me.
It's just...
Suck it up, you wimpy little
wuss!
If I can do this, so can you!
All right.
Monkeys.
All of them.
(Imitating monkey gibbering)
Going to play outside, Dad.
Attaboy.
Okay, I steal, you gamble.
Let's just call it even.
Deal.
So, you really filled an inside straight?
On the river, baby.
Nice.