Previously on Eli Stone:
You know Marci Klein, as in Wethersby, Posner and...
The fear is that Mr. Stone is symptomatic of a larger problem.
- A string of client defections. - You know Le Petite Table?
Six-month waiting list. That Le Petite Table?
Get a reservation, I'll have dinner with you.
You never mentioned Scott before you got engaged.
Well, you knew I had a boyfriend.
You have to admit the engagement thing kinda came out of nowhere.
Mr. Stone?
- Mr. Stone, please, sit down. - Cool fish.
Your pre-op exam looks promising.
Well, I studied very hard. That's a joke.
Vitals look good, blood pressure is normal, heart is healthy.
It looks like we're all set.
To take out the aneurysm.
I thought we were removing your gallbladder.
- A little joke.
It's not like we're talking about going into my skull with sharp instruments
with a high likelihood that I'll lose the ability to speak.
That's if I don't lose the ability to, you know, live.
Given the risk, in these circumstances
I recommend that patients should get their affairs in order.
- You saying I should draft a will? - A living will.
A document that clarifies your wishes
should you be unable to express them yourself.
I'm sure you know a few good lawyers.
- Yo, taxi!
Hi, 101 Federal Street, downtown.
Lows tonight dropping down into the mid 40's.
All in all, a beautiful day here in our great city.
I am almost there, Macaroni.
I am on the Golden Gate Bridge right now.
- Yes, that's the big orangey one. - Golden Gate? I said downtown.
See you soon, Macaroni.
It's Thursday, the 24th. The time is now 5:13.
No, it's not. It's Monday, the 21 st and it's ten in the morning.
- ... heavy getting off the lower deck... - Chinatown. I'm going to Chinatown.
The Golden Gate Bridge is at the limit.
And stay off the Golden Gate.
As if one fake earthquake hallucination wasn't enough,
I'm getting one directed by Michael Bay. It's like the aneurysm knows.
It knows I'm trying to take it out,
and it's trying to scare me with big budget sequels.
Personifying your aneurysm? That's kind of weird.
It's like, Jonah. God kept talking to him when he didn't believe.
Yeah. I've been reading up. Big storm, swallowed by a fish.
You want to get all Trivial Pursuit? Bring it.
Jonah still was a prophet, albeit a stubborn one.
You're kind of making my point for me.
I saw when it happens.
- When the earthquake hits? - Three days time, 5:13pm.
- Eli, you have to tell people. - Oh, I don't think so.
You remember Silver Terrace?
How I bribed a judge, had some families kicked out of their homes...
And what if this earthquake vision is a validation of the first?
Like Jonah hearing the voice of God twice?
I can't do anything.
My super powers don't extend to stopping earthquakes,
and if I barely believe me, who else is going to?
Have Simon baby-sit Edwards until you get back, Nigel.
I need you on a plane to San Francisco tonight.
I am not asking.
I see you've made yourself right at home.
I am at home, remember?
We built this place together.
Which makes it more disturbing to me
to see you've been lobbying for my ouster.
My name's still the first one on the door, Marci.
Did you think I wouldn't find out?
Truth be told, I wasn't very concerned either way.
I am more concerned about our top corporate clients running for the door.
There will be new clients,
and even some of the former ones will return to the fold.
Not Beutel. Not Zyre Motors.
They have their new attorneys drafting malpractice complaints instead.
You've spoken to their CEOs without my prior approval?
There's a common thread running through the biggest blunders this firm has made.
- Eli Stone isn't a blunder. - I'd fire him, but he's protected.
By an agreement you signed off on.
I've done the math, Marci.
You don't have the votes to replace me.
Be sure of that.
It's done. Cancel whatever plans you have for Wednesday night
because we are going to dinner.
I highly doubt that.
It might've been chimp-induced psychosis,
but I have a pretty accurate memory of you offering to have dinner with me.
If you got reservations at a restaurant with a six month waiting list.
Six months. That was a week ago.
Suffice it to say, Le Petit Table is now a client of this firm
at a sharply discounted billing rate.
Oh. Nice job, Mr. Dowd.
I take it from the look of surprise on your face
you're unaccustomed to dealing with men as capable as The Dowd.
- Funny, we were just talking about you. - Hey, uh, do you have a second?
Uh, I've got at least 60 of them.
Actually, I was asking "The Dowd."
What's on your structurally defective mind, friend?
- I need to schedule some time with you. - Gee, that sounds swell,
but my social calendar is pretty full these days.
It's not a personal matter, it's a legal one.
Actually, it's a personal legal matter.
You're suing me for dating your ex.
No, but what a nice thought.
So, If you just let Patti know when you've got some time free tomorrow.
Thanks.
Did you fall down and hit your aneurysm?
You should take a few days off. Get out of town. Get far out of town.
Go to a spa. Just avoid the Golden Gate Bridge.
I just got back from a week off.
Take another week. We're not particularly busy,
- especially with my surgery coming up. - Mm-hmm.
- Patti, you shouldn't have. - I didn't.
- It is an engagement gift for Maggie. - What'd I get her?
An apology for being such an ass last week.
I used your credit card. Here's the receipt.
I'm either very sorry or I am very happy for Maggie.
You're both.
It's for you. For your engagement.
This is very nice of you. You didn't have to do this.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Well, I figured while Scott was in Ohio he should also be on your desk.
- In a frame. - Actually, he'll be both.
He's moving out here on Thursday.
That's great.
Wow. I can't wait to meet him.
- Hello? - Dude, I solved your problem.
Sorry, you're gonna have to tell me which one.
Just turn on the TV. Channel eight.
This is no fantasy. No careless product of wild imagination.
No, my friends, this is a matter of undeniable scientific fact.
- Are you watching? Do you see this? - I see a nutcase
with a handmade sign and impeccable penmanship.
You wanted to tell everyone about the earthquake so they'd believe you?
Listen to this guy. He's a scientist.
I've calculated that the quake will hit in three days time. Thursday.
Thursday.
By "this" you mean your plan to get people to believe me
by relying on someone nobody believes?
He predicted the earthquake from your vision.
Predicted five other earthquakes that never happened.
Obviously he's gotten the kinks of his prediction system worked out.
That's not obvious. That's the exact opposite of obvious.
Excuse me, Dr. Foote?
Dr. Foote!
Hi, I'm Eli Stone. I'm an attorney.
This earthquake proofing is exactly to code.
And it's patented, so don't even try to rip me off.
Dr. Foote, We're here because we believe you.
Oh, nobody believed me. Nice try.
None of the hecklers have tried, "Hey, we believe you" before.
You get points for originality.
Thank you. We're not here to heckle you, to sue you,
we're not here to rip you off. I'm here because...
Well, I'm very interested in your method of earthquake prediction.
Seismic prognostication. Well...
So how does it work? You have a seismometer or something?
Well, the entire house is basically an extremely large seismic station.
Each brace not only protects the house from seismic undulation,
but also collects data from the motion-amplifying mechanical linkages.
I'm not a scientist. You're basically saying
that this whole house is a giant earthquake detecting device?
And a tax write-off, yes.
But you've never accurately predicted an earthquake using it.
I hate that word, "predict."
Lmplies psychic powers, clumps me with palm readers, fortune tellers.
What's your family think about turning the house into a giant earthquake thing?
They don't. My wife moved everybody down to Cupertino.
Better for them, anyway. As far away from this city, the better.
And the quake you say is coming, where do you think the epicenter'll be?
Not think. Know.
Here. Come here.
See these lines?
These are the seven major faults lying underneath the Bay Area.
Now my algorithm says the epicenter will be inland.
- Most likely here, Silver Terrace. - Silver Terrace. You don't say.
The magnitude of the quake, 6.5 at least, would mean shockwaves
that could destroy things like...
- The Golden Gate Bridge. - Yeah.
Dr. Foote, how far are you prepared to take this?
You mean to get people to listen to me, to grasp the danger?
Well, Mr. Stone, I have lost my family, my job, my reputation,
a large percentage of my dignity. So pretty far.
- You can't be serious. - No, I can be. I promise.
You're asking the court to close the Golden Gate Bridge.
I'm asking the court to order the city to close the Golden Gate.
- Under this writ of mad anus? - Mandamus, Your Honor.
A law so old, it's written on a stone tablet.
It only applies if the city isn't meeting one of its legal obligations.
Protecting health and welfare of its citizenry.
- Citizenry are doing fine. - Won't be three days from now.
This is where he trots out the quack with the crackpot prediction.
Doctor Foote has degrees from Stanford, MIT, and Caltech.
An oh-for-five record in forecasting earthquakes.
Mandamus law presupposes the plaintiff possesses better judgment than the city.
- I don't think Dr. Foote qualifies. - But I do.
You'll notice that I'm the named plaintiff here.
Dr. Foote is providing the evidence I'm relying upon.
Bringing me back to "quack" and "crackpot."
Maybe this isn't ideal for closing the bridge for the first time.
The Golden Gate's been closed three times due to forecasts of high winds.
Except instead of winds, we're talking earthquake.
- Assuming you believe Dr. Foote. - No, Your Honor, assuming that you do.
Hundreds of lives are at stake here.
What's a few hours to listen to the man?
Your Honor...
If I dismiss this, I have to start a trial on accounting practices.
I'll do anything to put that off for a day or two.
Have your witness in court at ten tomorrow.
Charlotte Phillips from Chicago is downstairs checking her email
- on my computer this very minute. - Are you live-blogging the office now?
No, but I'm a woman, I'm a lawyer and I'm Jordan Wethersby's daughter.
And I know when some bitch is trying to orchestrate a revolt.
I assume the "wicked witch" to whom you're referring
is one of this firm's founding partners?
Marci is hardly the first lawyer to try to throw me off my perch.
Don't worry, sweetheart. Your father's made of Kevlar.
Your favorite son is at it again. Do you have any idea what he just did?
- I can't say that I do. - And I can't say that I'm surprised.
As managing partner, you manage to turn a blind eye
where Eli Stone is concerned.
He just sued San Francisco. The entire city.
He's asking a judge to close down the Golden Gate Bridge.
If he is, I'm sure he has a good reason. I'll talk to him.
I've got this one.
I just wanted to see if you were in the loop.
Since you don't seem to be.
I wish someone would throw a bucket of water on her.
Are you gonna talk to Eli?
Tell him to stop giving Marci ammunition to use against you?
- It hadn't occurred to me to do so, no. - Well, it occurs to me.
I have a surprise for you.
- Oh, um... - Better than a surprise, actually.
It's another gift.
Oh, really, the frame was generous enough.
We're gonna be saving people from an actual earthquake.
Hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives. We're gonna be like superheroes.
But with suits and briefcases instead of capes and secret identities.
- This is your earthquake case? - It's our earthquake case.
- You're my second chair. - Oh, I can't do it, Eli.
Why? Scott doesn't get in for another week.
The case will be over by then. Believe me, it has to be.
That's not the problem.
I'm kind of working for Miss Klein on something.
- Medusa Klein? - Have you filed the appearance?
Yes. You are the attorney of record for the city.
We are, Miss Dekker.
You and Miss Klein are...
Opposing counsel in your earthquake case, yes.
Pro bono, as you might be familiar. We'll see you in court.
Oh, I see you filled the frame. Is that Scott?
Yeah, that's Scott and me in New York last year.
See you in court, Eli.
I'll see you soon, Macaroni.
... in 20 minutes. It's Thursday the 24th.
Stone, what was it you wanted yesterday?
Now's really not a good time, Matt.
Beggars can't be choosers. One of those facts of life.
Could you give me a minute?
OK. I'm late for Marci and Maggie to try and shred me in court,
so I'm gonna keep this brief.
I'm going in to have the aneurysm taken out.
Chances are I won't survive the surgery, so I need someone to draft a living will
so my wishes and dignity are protected.
And my heartstrings will be so tugged on, I'll be limp for your ex.
- Nice try, Stone. - Whoa. This isn't about you and Taylor.
It is about not living like a vegetable one second longer than I have to.
I need this to be ironclad.
I need to draft it without sympathy or sentiment.
- I am fairly unsympathetic. - This is what I'm counting on.
We're going to put your utter lack of humanity to good use.
- You had your career in front of you. - Tenured Berkeley professor at 32.
Vice president of the American Seismological Society at 35.
By all objective measures, I was poised to become the leader in my field.
- But you didn't. - No, like Ahab,
I developed a single-minded vendetta against a white whale.
It was forecasting and preventing a devastating seismic catastrophe.
Predicting the big one, you mean? The next great San Francisco earthquake.
- That's right. - You haven't been successful so far.
No. Took Edison almost a year before the first successful test of the light bulb.
The first powered glider built by the Wright Brothers flew for three seconds.
Failure is merely a road to success. I've refined my methodology.
I can tell you with 98 percent certainty this quake is coming.
- When? - Two days. During rush hour.
Your Honor, at this time, I'd move
that Mr. Foote's testimony be removed from the record and the case dismissed.
Miss Klein's been in Europe for three years,
but generally the defendants cross-examine at this point.
Mr. Stone is right, I have been out of the country recently,
but I presume Daubert is still on the books?
Scientific testimony is inadmissible
unless generally accepted by the scientific community.
What members of the scientific community back your claim, sir?
Uh, well, some of my colleagues have been really intrigued by my work.
But the exact number who actually believe you would be zero.
- Your Honor... - She's within the bounds, counselor.
So, no scientists. That's all right.
What about laypeople? Perhaps a sympathetic journalist?
- Not that I'm aware of. - You're the only one
- who believes this quake is coming. - Mr. Stone appears to believe me.
- And your wife, I'm sure. - I don't know. You'd have to ask her.
- Are you estranged from your wife, sir? - She left me.
- When? - September four, 2005.
You seem to be fairly accurate with that date. Does it have some significance?
It was the date of the last earthquake I forecast.
I don't seem to remember an earthquake on that exact date.
Funny thing.
- I'm not laughing, Eli. - Are you sure?
I think a catastrophic earthquake is hilarious.
Help me. "Catastrophic" like the last one you predicted?
I'm not predicting this one. There's a scientist, Foote...
Look, I have supported everything you've done
except when it comes to catastrophic earthquakes,
where you have a blind spot.
- What's my "blind spot" this time? - Marci Klein.
She is using this little crusade of yours
as evidence my father doesn't have a grip on his own firm.
That's right. You push this and my father,
the man who's been like a father to you, takes the hit.
I can drop the case. The earthquake case.
I can recuse myself immediately, get my client new counsel.
I doubt you'll find another attorney in this city as eccentric as yourself.
It's not like you to bail on a client. Is something the matter?
No, not with me. But with you. I've heard rumblings.
And did you hear them from a tall female associate who has my eyes?
Taylor may have mentioned that there could be political consequences for you
if I continue with this case.
And you've decided to come to my rescue.
You were there for me. You've stood up for me, protected me, represented me.
- Now I'm here for you. - An attitude that, however noble,
presumes this recusing yourself is your decision to make.
It's not?
Every case you have tried or ever will try at this firm,
has been and will be done so at my pleasure.
If I hadn't wanted you to represent Daniel Foote
or, for that matter, Beth Keller or Arvin Solinsky,
make no mistake, you wouldn't have.
And, while I appreciate your newly located sense of loyalty...
...you started this case. It's not finished yet.
My lawyers finish their cases, understood?
Yes, sir.
Hey, I can't believe I'm going to beat you.
Marci's going to. You're not gonna be doing any of the talking.
- Hearing's not over yet. - Tell me about it.
I'm serious. Marci says she has big plans for me.
Maggie, why do you think Marci chose you to second chair?
My work in the St. Vincent's malpractice trial.
Which was really my work,
which Marci, being a very clever person, would find out.
- What are you saying? - Out of all the associates,
she didn't pick the most experienced one.
So why do you think she picked you?
Because I'm spunky. And a hard worker.
And you know more about me than almost anyone else at this firm.
Picked you so she can pump you for information about me.
- My tactics, my strategy, my history. - What about your over-inflated ego?
I'm just saying, what if Foote's right?
People could die. People.
Or a person you know.
Just... When she comes to you, and she will,
just don't be, um... you.
You know, I can see why you're representing Dr. Foote.
You're both great at alienating people.
Your Honor, we'd like to call a rebuttal witness, Moira Foote.
Unless Mrs. Foote is a seismologist herself, I don't see the relevance.
Miss Klein made her relevant yesterday
when she asked Dr. Foote about his marriage.
was that he liked bacon and eggs for dinner.
He never understood why certain foods were rigidly considered
only for breakfast. He challenged life that way.
He questioned everything.
I think, yesterday, we were left with the impression
that you separated because Daniel was crazy.
Albert Einstein filled his closet
with multiple pairs of the same shirt and pants
so he wouldn't have to waste a thought on what to wear.
It was a quirk of genius.
Today that same behavior would be labeled OCD.
Do you believe Daniel's machine can predict earthquakes?
Honestly, I'm not sure. But that's not the point.
I didn't leave Daniel because I thought he was wrong.
I left because being right was more important to him than I was.
Given that Mrs. Foote offered no relevant testimony,
I have no cross-examination.
Except for the "I'll already be brain dead" part.
There is that.
If it's any consolation, I already think of you as brain dead.
Well, I appreciate that.
"I do not want my life prolonged
if I have an incurable and terminal condition,
or if I become unconscious and am unlikely to regain consciousness.
I wish to be permitted to die."
- This is cheerful. Where do I sign? - Here.
It's not even noon and I've already made my end-of-life decision.
What have you done so far today?
I'm sorry. This whole thing is a little depressing.
I can't imagine why.
...incredibly stupid case. - Yeah, well, you know...
- What did I just say? - Excuse me?
Have any idea what I've been talking about?
Sure. Of course.
Now what looks good to you here? I was thinking the oxtail carpaccio.
Look, it's probably been a while
since you managed a date without a woman who did it professionally,
but you're expected to pay attention to the woman you're with.
Sorry.
Look, obviously we're a little off here.
- Tell me what's on your mind. - Nothing.
Well, maybe you should go a little easier on Eli.
See, I was paying attention.
- Go easy on Eli? - Yeah.
Since when do you care?
My father has done everything for him. He could do this one thing for my dad.
I think Eli's just been a little focused on other stuff lately.
What kind of stuff?
Does this to do with the legal thing he wanted your help on?
I'm taking care of something for him. And everything I know is...
Privileged? Eli and I used to tell each other all the time.
Well, don't put me in that position.
However, I can think of several positions you could put me in.
It's hard to believe you'd botch the one evening you had
to prove you're not all pig.
City budget number crunching, crunched. What should I do next?
Go home. I think you've worked hard enough for tonight.
But it's only 10:00.
Whatever you may have heard, Miss Dekker, I'm not a monster.
- That's not what I meant. - Get some rest.
I know how hard this case must be on you.
What?
Jordan and I, we had a thing once.
Before he was married, before we started this firm,
we used to take each other on in court and outside of court.
I understand how difficult it is to sit across the aisle
- from someone you're close to. - Eli and I aren't close.
Really? I looked over his recent cases, you've worked on nearly all of them.
I needed courtroom experience.
Perhaps you could help me with something.
Oh, I'm really not all that helpful.
Looking through his caseload, it seems that illegal aliens and kids
get his most zealous representation,
where our higher-end clients, Arvin Solinsky, Zyre Motors,
get something less than his A-game.
Actually, in the Solinsky case,
Eli did everything he could to evacuate Silver Terrace.
- Evacuate? You mean evict. - Right, evict.
Isn't Silver Terrace the alleged epicenter of the alleged earthquake?
- I should really go. - Sit down, Miss Dekker.
You are going to tell me everything you know about Eli Stone,
Silver Terrace and imaginary earthquakes.
He told me things in confidence. I can't say anything.
You not only can, you're obligated to.
Well, counsel, can we proceed with final arguments?
Actually, we have our own rebuttal witness to call, Your Honor.
- Margaret Ann Dekker. - Objection, Your Honor.
Miss Maggie Dekker is an attorney of record here.
This is a hearing, not a trial.
And, in any case, Miss Dekker hasn't said a word in court thus far.
Objection overruled. Take the stand, Miss Dekker.
- What's that girl going to say? - Nothing good.
I will.
Miss Dekker, in your capacity as one of Mr. Stone's co-workers,
have you noticed a change in his legal practice?
Objection. Neither myself nor my practice are on trial.
I'll admit it is not like his disbarment proceeding two months ago,
but Mr. Stone has put himself at issue
by seeking the mandamus writ personally, Your Honor.
Checkmate, counselor. Sit down.
Eli is trying to represent more individuals and less corporations.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I'm sure we would all agree, Miss Dekker.
But could you tell the judge how Mr. Stone tried to "help"
the citizens Silver Terrace when they sued his client, Arvin Solinsky?
He was concerned for their welfare. He wanted them to get a good deal.
Wanted them out of their homes as quickly as possible.
- That's what Mr. Solinsky wanted. - Not for the same reason.
She's leading the witness.
Permission to treat witness as hostile.
- Your own co-counsel? - I don't get along with my co-workers.
Why did Eli Stone want the citizens of Silver Terrace to vacate their homes?
How can anyone know what's in another person's mind?
- What did he tell you, Miss Dekker? - Objection. Hearsay.
I'm not going to be admitting this as truth, believe me.
He said that...
...that there would be an earthquake.
But not because Dr. Foote told him, right?
Tell the judge why Mr. Stone thought there would be an earthquake.
He said that...
That he could see the future.
Pass the witness.
When I told you that there would be an earthquake, what did you tell me?
That I believed you.
All rise, the Honorable Judge Gaitan presiding.
Be seated.
For a writ of mandamus to issue,
the respondent must be in violation of its civic duty.
Furthermore, the required action must, by its very nature, be imperative.
A city that fails to protect its citizens from an earthquake
it knows is coming, most certainly satisfies that criteria.
But the supported opinion of a fringe scientist,
represented by an attorney of questionable sound mind,
just as clearly does not meet that criteria.
Applicant's writ of mandamus to close the Golden Gate Bridge is denied.
- This court is adjourned.
You're insane. If I'd wanted to be laughed out of court,
- I'd have just represented myself. - I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry, too. Sorry I let you rope me into this,
sorry I let you use me as a mouthpiece for your nutbaggery.
- No, I didn't. I believe you. - Because you're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
At least I have a machine, a methodology.
- I can file an emergency appeal. - No.
If you try, I will get a restraining order.
You stay away from me.
- Another satisfied client. - It's all my fault.
You got to tell Scott to stay off the Golden Gate.
- Come on, Eli. - He calls you "Macaroni."
If I wasn't right, how else would I know that?
Well, I must've told you.
First it was Magg-aroni and cheese, then it was Magg-aroni,
- then it was just Macaroni. - No, you didn't tell me.
I'd remember being that bored.
Just call him. Do it for me.
Patti, I could use some good news right now.
Eli, where have you been? Paul Miller called.
- He'd like to meet you and Dr. Foote. - Great. Who's Paul Miller?
- The chief aid to the mayor. - The mayor of San Francisco?
No, the mayor of Munchkinland. He is waiting for you at City Hall.
I don't want to do this.
I'd like to be anyone other than the person leading this charge.
Jordan, Martin Posner and I founded this firm together.
And it was found on the principle
that we would set a new standard for legal representation.
That our clients would be the best and the brightest,
the largest and the most successful.
But those clients are leaving.
And they will not come back until they've received a clear signal from us
that we have seen the error of our ways.
Unfortunately, that signal needs to be louder
than the firing of one renegade associate.
It needs to be the ouster of the man
who's allowing him to damage our firm and its reputation.
Eli Stone has not damaged the reputation of this firm.
Mr. Stone was representing an individual
with a legitimate, albeit ultimately unsuccessful, cause of action.
If it weren't legitimate,
the court wouldn't have entertained a three-day hearing.
Miss Klein's problem with Mr. Stone isn't that he's eccentric,
it's that he applies his considerable talents
to underdogs and individuals instead of conglomerates and CEOs.
He reminds us that, in business, there is still room for humanity,
that capitalism without mercy is tantamount to evil.
He reminds us...
...of the best parts of ourselves.
Yes, I have protected Eli Stone
because I believe this firm needs Eli Stone.
I believe that every firm,
every company, everyone needs an Eli Stone.
And, by your vote, you'll say whether or not you agree.
If you don't, then this place has become something
I don't want my name on, anyway.
Mayor's closing the Golden Gate, despite the judge's ruling.
I probably shouldn't ask this, but why?
For one thing, when Dr. Foote's not shouting hysterical proclamations
from the front steps of this building, he's actually quite persuasive.
Thank you.
Truth be told, he wasn't the one who persuaded the mayor.
Are you talking about me?
What if Daniel and I are wrong and there's no quake?
What if you are right and we did nothing?
Fair point.
The one person in the entire city who believes us
just happens to be the mayor.
Talk about dumb luck.
This better be good, Dowd. I'm missing Oprah.
- Dr. Oz is on. - This is only slightly more important.
It might help us to know what "this" is.
Before I go in for my minor life-or-death surgery,
I wanted to make sure that I don't get Terry Schiavo'ed.
He's asked me to draft an Advanced Healthcare Directive.
I would've asked you, but I needed someone without conscience or sympathy.
- No offense. - None taken.
Eli, I'm sure there's no need...
I mean, I'm sure these surgeries usually work out fine.
Only 50 percent of the time. I've been reading up.
Eli's a coin toss away from being a vegetable.
Thank you, Patti.
In any case, I need to get it witnessed, which is why you guys are here.
You want us to witness your suicide note?
It's not a suicide note. It's a statement of my wishes.
About how you want to die.
About how and under what circumstances I don't want to live.
Thank you.
Eli, you draft your will yet?
I left you all my George Michael CDs. I figured that was appropriate.
I guess since you're Eli's lawyer for this, privilege would...
Prevent me from bringing it up on a date.
Golden Gate Park is the safest place for the imminent earthquake.
- Eli. - Please just do it for me.
Consider it a last request if you have to.
But Golden Gate Park. Not Bridge, OK?
Excuse me. Hello!
Sorry to interrupt, but I have it on very good authority
that in about an hour from now...
...there's going to be an earthquake.
A big one. The big one.
So I'm leaving.
And I hope you'll do the same,
because I'm guessing that 22 stories up in the air surrounded by glass
is going to be one of the less desirable places to be.
Now I know that most of you, if not all of you, think that I'm crazy.
The lawyer with a hole in his head,
and the inappropriately-timed song in his heart.
And I know that, as lawyers, we're trained to rely on fact
and empirical evidence...
...but I'm asking you, I'm asking each and every one of you...
...this one time, with the stakes so completely high...
...to believe me and take something on faith.
Trust me, you won't regret it.
So who's with me?
I think you just did, Marci.
But, for the record, it is the decision of the partnership
that Jordan Wethersby be removed from his post as managing partner,
effective immediately.
Truly, Jordan, I am sorry.
I'm not.
I can live with the partners' decision. I hope they can.
Marci, I'd like a re-vote.
Excuse me, Tom.
I told you, 6.8 on the Richter Scale.
- Maggie! - Oh, Eli!
You came.
Oh, of course, Eli. This is my fiancé, Scott.
- Hi. - I told you I believed you.
Oh, my God.
That guy, I guess he wasn't so crazy after all.
I guess not.