All right, diary. I know you want the dirt.
Ever since I started dating James a month ago,
it's all you've ever cared about.
Have we? Haven't we?
Well...
Okay, today, I actually have some big news.
[ Imitates trumpet ]
It finally happened!
So...
How do you feel about last night?
- How do I feel? - [ Chuckles ]
Uh...
[ Harp plays ]
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hal-le-lujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
♪ Hal-le-lujah ♪
It wasn't bad. [ Laughs ]
But, as that old saying goes,
let's have sex again right now!
[ Both laugh ]
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ I'm having such a good time ♪ ♪ Good time ♪
♪ I'm having a ball ♪ ♪ Super fun night ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm havin' a good time ♪
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪
♪ Super fun night ♪ ♪ Super fun wild night ♪
Do you think Kimmie and James will like these chocolate croissants?
Oh, maybe we should have got doughnuts or bagels,
everybody likes a hole.
I just want to surprise them with a nice breakfast.
I mean, James has been sleeping over at the apartment
a lot lately, and that's big.
[ Elevator bell dings ] I know. Kimmie's got a boyfriend,
I'm wearing a sports bra that wicks away moisture.
I mean, you're going to selected restaurants
and not even bringing your own fork.
I mean, things are changing.
But we're gonna figure it out.
I mean, everything's gonna be okay, right?
Of course it is, little bird.
JAMES: Everything's gonna be okay, right?
I mean, me sleeping over,
being in the apartment with you guys.
It's kind of a big change.
James, please. You have nothing to worry about.
Helen-Alice loves sleeping on the couch.
She hasn't even needed her neck brace.
And Marika loves not being the only one here
who uses men's deodorant.
[ Door opens ]
- Hey! - Hey!
- Surprise! - Surprise!
We're making breakfast.
- Oh. - Oh.
'Cause, surprise! We bought breakfast.
Oh.
Oh, well, that's okay.
Double breakfasts!
JAMES: [ Chuckles ] Yeah, double breakfast!
That's almost as good as double...
Jame... James knows what I mean.
[ Both laugh ]
Well, let's just sit, everyone.
- Oh, thank you. - Let's eat. All right.
Hey. You want a chair?
No, that's... Uh, that's fine.
Come on, Kendall. Cheer up. It's not the end of the world.
Richard, I just lost the Wendelman case.
That is a $20 million account.
$20 million?
I must have been playing Candy Crush
when they told me how much it was worth.
This is a professional disaster for you.
Winning that case was gonna be the highlight of my year.
It was gonna clinch my promotion.
God, could this day get any worse?
Good morning. Isn't it a beautiful day?
Kimmie, it's 14 degrees outside.
Vagrant froze to death on my stoop this morning.
Stoop? [ Laughs ] That's such a cute word, isn't it?
Stoop. Sounds like two doves kissing.
"Stoop!" [ Smooches ]
Oh, my God, what is happening in the universe?
I'm single, my career is in the toilet, and Kimmie's in love.
[ Sighs ] Kendall, am I sensing you're a little down in the dumps?
Well, if you need cheering up anytime,
you just come to my place. [ Chuckles ]
Except not on Tuesday or Saturday nights.
'Cause that's when the magic happens.
Kimmie, I said I was having a bad day,
I didn't say I was walking towards the lake
with rocks in my pockets.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Gasps ] Hey, guys. How about we go to that re-release
of "Fried Green Tomatoes" in 3-D tonight?
[ Gasps ] Yeah.
Oh, I already saw it with James on Tuesday.
Kimmie! We agreed we would see that together.
I'm sorry.
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
Oh! Guys, I got a text from Benji!
Okay.
"Hey, H-A, what are you doing?"
Emoticon of a face with a zig-zag mouth?
- Oh, no! What does that mean? - What?
What do I do? [ Knock on door ]
- What? - Oh.
Here, let me see that.
- Hey! - James!
- How are you? - Hi!
- What's up? - I got off work early. Oh!
You're not gonna believe this.
We got a new pastry chef at the restaurant,
and he makes this insane cheesecake,
so I brought some over for you guys.
You're like an angel if I had written the Bible.
I'll go get some plates.
Ooh, uh, didn't mean to interrupt.
You guys keep doing whatever you were doing.
- Okay. So, I... - Isn't he the best?
- Yeah, yeah. - He's so sweet.
Hello! Kimmie!
This is Benji. This is a text emergency!
I got to text him back something good, so help me!
- He's waiting. - Hey! I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything,
but, um...you know what?
You don't want to text a guy back too early.
That'll look kind of desperate.
[ Chuckles ] So...
Anyway, back to the cheesecake.
So, if I wait, like, one minute, can I text...
Quick addendum to that thought.
Unless it's, like, a time-sensitive text, you know?
'Cause then, if he's like, you know, texting a restaurant
trying to get reservations, they're about to close,
get back with him.
Or it's a booty-call text.
He's out in the hall. [ Chuckles ]
"I know you're in there. Come on."
[ Chuckles ]
I know that's not the situation now, but...
Oh, man.
Hey, where are... where are the dessert plates?
Uh, they're just by the fridge.
Thank you.
By the way, you look really cute today, Kimmie.
Yeah.
Elsa! Elsa!
There's no hot water.
[ Spanish accent ] Oh, yes, Miss Kendall. The front desk called.
They shut the boiler down for repairs.
- For how long? - They don't know.
My God. [ Sighs ]
- Nothing is going right for me. - Oh, okay.
Goodnight, Miss Kendall.
- No, wait, Elsa! - We never talk. Stay a while.
So, how are you enjoying North America?
- I have to go home, miss Kendall. - No, wait!
Elsa, I want you to think of this as your home
that I pay you to clean.
Goodnight, Miss Kendall.
No, Elsa! I've called everyone I know!
You're all I've got! [ Door closes ]
Morning.
What's shaking, cables?
Apart from our adjoining bedroom wall.
Oh, can you keep your voice down?
- James is still sleeping. - Oh, is he sleeping now?
'Cause last night, it sounded like you two were...
slaughtering hogs in there!
Yeah. Sleeping on the couch this much has activated my latent scoliosis.
You're gonna have to set up things for game night without me.
Oh, I...I promised James
we'd go on a kiss crawl of Manhattan.
It's where you go all over Manhattan and you kiss.
But it's the first Saturday of the month!
- It's girls' night game night! - Guys, I understand.
I'm the first lady in this apartment to get a man
without force or guilt trips, but that's happened.
We just all have to make adjustments.
Well, it seems like me and Marika
are the only ones making the necessary adjustments.
Yeah. She's right, Kimmie.
I like James, but dude is always around.
- Yeah. - He's butting in.
He's not always butting in!
Hey, guys.
Mm. Morning.
Hey, girls, what's going on?
What's up? Was I interrupting something?
- No, it's fine. [ Chuckles ] - Yeah?
Isn't it fine, guys?
Hey, you know what? Uh, should I go? I...
No! No, don't leave.
Unless you want to leave,
because I believe that everyone should do what they want.
Yeah. I mean, feel free to make like the wiz
and ease on down the road... I mean, if you want.
- Y-yeah. - Wow, guys.
Way to say how you really feel.
You know, we have a friendship bracelet.
Let me remind you it says "4-dash-ever."
But it may as well say "4...a while, until one of us gets laid!"
- Come on, James. Let's go! - Where are we going?
Can we stay at your place for awhile?
Well, wait! How long are you going for?
I don't know! We're just gonna go.
[ Door slams ] What...
but first, I'm gonna need some clothes and a toothbrush.
And some vagodorant!
And then we are so out of here!
Oh, hey. So, uh, some of the guys are coming over
to watch the game today. Uh, it'll be fun.
Richard's coming, too.
Uh, he's bringing his famous one-layer dip.
It's actually just salsa, but...
- [ Chuckles ] You okay? - Yeah, fine. Why?
Well, I mean, you just bought five pairs of leg warmers
from a street vendor.
I was cold.
So cold. Below the knee.
I thought maybe you were thinking about Helen-Alice and Marika.
No. I'm not thinking about them at all.
- Okay. Really? - Please.
I don't even care what they're doing right now.
You know, they need me a lot more than I need them.
I hope they remember what happened to Destiny's Child
after Beyonce left. They died.
I don't think that's actually right, Kimmie.
- I don't think... I don't think they died. - They died.
[ Laughs ] I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Okay.
Ugh. Dede, you would not believe it.
I had to dry-shampoo my hair this morning. Ugh.
I feel like I live in Queens and graduated from a state school.
Sounds like it's been really rough.
Oh, my God. You have no idea.
I don't think I have ever felt this alone, Dede.
Oh, you poor thing!
You need a friend.
Someone you can tell your troubles to,
someone who's compassionate and caring.
Oh, my God.
- That is exactly what I need. - Yes.
Oh, sweetie, that's not me.
No. Do you want to order?
[ All cheer ]
Whoo! [ Giggles ]
[ Laughing ] This is so much fun!
Helen-Alice and Marika would never do this.
They're probably at home right now
watching a Disney movie
and fast-forwarding through all the scary parts.
You know, Kimmie, you should just call them.
Why? I don't need to.
[ Scoffs ] I am fine without them.
And, besides, I love being here with the guys.
♪ Doing guy stuff and loving guy stuff ♪
♪ I'm a guy's girl ♪
♪ Guy's girl ♪
[ All cheer ] Oh!
♪ Spilling stuff ♪
♪ Guy stuff ♪
♪ I'm a guy's girl ♪
Oh, hello, you two.
Uh, I was just in the neighborhood.
Is Kimmie here?
We don't know where she is and we don't care.
Oh.
Okay, well, I'm sorry to disturb you.
No! Not at all.
We're just two single ladies doing a little
beefaroni and guac on a Saturday afternoon.
Yeah, sometime's the 'roni's the only thing you got
to fill the void within you.
If you want, you can join us.
We buy all our food in bulk.
Sometimes at the end of the month,
we have to eat a lot of raisins.
Well, maybe I-I'll just come in for a minute. [ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ]
Uh, question... What is beefaroni?
Yeah, I don't think this salsa's coming out.
I'm only going to say this one more time...
it's one-layer dip.
I need to use the toilet.
[ Sighs ] Can I have a try?
I think I know exactly how to make that stain disappear.
[ Chuckling ] That would be great!
[ Chuckles ] Ta-da!
- [ Chuckling ] It's gone! - I learned that from Marika.
We have to hide a lot of stains from Helen-Alice,
otherwise she goes berserk.
I can see. I mean, she is pretty particular.
Three of the chores on her chore wheel
have to do with chore-wheel maintenance.
You know what I wanted to ask you, too?
What is with Marika and the seven snooze alarms?
Oh! I know! Hello?!
Just set your alarm for 63 minutes later.
[ Laughing ] I-I mean, don't get me wrong.
I really... I love your friends,
but they can be a little bit out there.
[ Chuckles ] Hey, did I tell you,
the other night when I was over there,
um, I hung my towel on the wrong rack,
and Helen-Alice went crazy.
Well, I don't think "crazy"
is trying to make the place look nice.
Yeah, no, you're right. You're right.
What's crazy is how she organizes her cereal.
Oh, okay.
Somebody doesn't like the Dewey Decimal System.
Why are the rice krispies in the 400s?
[ Laughs ]
Wow, okay.
Uh, I wish I knew sooner that you didn't like my friends.
Whoa!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I... I just... I thought we were going back and forth.
You know, like you'd say one thing and I'd say another funny thing,
and then you'd think I was kind of cute
and maybe we'd kiss a little bit later on and...
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
You're, like, really... you're mad at me right now.
I am mad at you!
W-why?! What did I do?
You just made fun of Helen-Alice and Marika!
[ Chuckling ] No! You...
Kimmie, you made fun of them first.
Y-yeah, I know I did.
- So, then why are you mad at me? - 'Cause they're my friends, James!
I'm allowed to make fun of them!
It's like how black people are allowed to make fun of L.L. Cool J, okay?
You can't!
So I...
Yeah, I am really mad, and I'm gonna go!
Kimmie!
Thanks for lending me these clothes.
[ Sighs ]
I-I'm saying clothes
because I...don't know what else to call them.
[ Sighs ] I still can't believe I spilled that food all over myself.
Don't even worry about it. We do it all the time.
Kimmie calls us the Big Dripper and the Little Dripper.
Do you think she's gonna change her mind
and come to game night?
Wow, it's hard to believe that six months ago,
I had it all... a boyfriend, a career,
a healthy fear of carbs, and...look at me now.
I'm sitting here, watching you play games and... Ooh!
About to eat from a large tub of peanut butter.
Oh, my God. It's so good.
- Hey. - Hey.
Hey!
Kendall, what are you doing here?
Giving up.
So, you're home.
Yeah.
Well, is game night still on?
That depends. Is he coming?
No. He's not. We... We kind of had a big fight.
About what?
Is that my peanut butter tub?!
And my spatula?!
I just... I-I don't know what I did wrong.
I mean, we were joking around.
Then the next thing I know, she's storming out.
Well, as a brown-belt in Boubier,
there's one thing I've learned...
that she is nothing like you or I.
Yeah.
I mean, she's the only lawyer I know whose dream case
would be arguing either side of Beauty v. Beast.
Well, that innocence is part of what makes her special,
I suppose.
That and the way she runs like a muppet.
And she always gets whipped cream on her nose
every time she drinks a hot chocolate.
The way she articulates every sentence with her hands.
I suppose those are the reasons why you fall in love with her.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are the exact reasons why I fell in love with her.
Yeah. Why you fell in love with her.
[ Chuckles ] So, what do I do?
I mean, I just... I don't want to lose her.
Well, Beauty, if I were you, I'd go out there and get your Beast.
No, the other way around. The other way around.
Ugh, charades.
I'm so bored, but I don't have the strength to get up.
Quiet. It's Kimmie's turn.
[ Sighs ]
Okay, ready? Go!
Movie! One word.
- It's a tragedy. - Oh, "Alien."
[ Gasping ]
"Aliens."
"Chocolat"!
- MARIKA: "Crash." - HELEN-ALICE: Oh, no. Death.
- [ Gasps ] "Maid in Manhattan"! - Oh, time.
"Shrek"! It was "Shrek"!
"Shrek"?
Well, why did you make it seem so sad?
I don't know... That's just how
that movie's making me feel right now.
Okay, we get it. You had a fight with your boyfriend.
But your sadness is kind of ruining game night.
It's like James is here even when he's not here.
Yeah, why did you even come
if you were gonna be in this bad of a mood?
It's not our fault you got into a fight with James.
Yes, it is. 'Cause the fight was about you!
Ooh. I'm gonna sit up for this.
[ Sighs ]
Maybe later.
What do you mean, the fight was about us?
W-what I mean, Helen-Alice...
Okay.
Marika, you know how we always hide spills under furniture
so that she doesn't freak out?
You do what?!
Way to go, Kimmie. Now she knows.
Okay, that's not the point of the story.
- Hello? - Uh, yeah, it is. It is now.
[ Gasps ] What is that?!
- That is... - What?!
Cranberry sauce, Thanksgiving 2010.
I'm sor... 2010?!
Here we go.
- Here we go. - Wh-what else?
- Where? Wh... - KIMMIE: Um...
Aah!
Fourth of July... Mustard.
Mustard is the Voldemort of all stains!
You guys are pigs.
The room is spinning. Oh, no.
Way to go, Kimmie. See what you're doing to her?
Oh, what's next? You gonna tell her that
that low-hanging picture is covering the hole
from that time I thought no human being
could actually kick through a wall?
- It was very easy! - HELEN-ALICE: [ Sighs ]
That just proves James' point!
You guys are crazy!
Wait a minute.
James called us crazy?
[ Scoffs ] MARIKA: We're not crazy.
That dude is crazy.
He's, like, laughing all the time, yeah.
It's like... like, "What's so damn funny?"
You know? Like, "Let us in on the joke...bro."
KIMMIE: Well, look, he didn't really mean it.
I was upset, and he was just trying to make me feel better.
Aww.
That's what we used to do for you.
Wait, really?
You guys do that for friends?
I'm gonna call that bitch Dede and tell her to go screw herself.
Look, okay.
I know what's happening here.
I'm just going through a lot of changes.
But [sighs] guys, changes will come to you, too.
Like, Helen-Alice, what if you got married to Benji?
And you guys had beautiful, hyper-allergic babies?
[ Chuckles ]
And, Marika,
what if the pro roller derby actually calls you back
instead of just threatening legal action?
You mean, join the pro tour? [ Scoffs ]
Gosh, I guess I'd have to leave you guys.
But I would be able to fulfill my lifelong dream
of seeing the canals in Oklahoma City.
You know, they say it's more than a nice boat ride.
[ Sighs ] I was just trying to make everyone happy.
KENDALL: I'm just trying to eat cookie-dough ice cream!
So...do you think the three of us are gonna make it?
KIMMIE: Yes.
Of course we will.
We've been through everything together,
from prom night
to the cancelation of "Make It or Break It."
Nothing will ever get between me and my besties.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Get in here. - Okay. Good.
Except for maybe my boobs. It's like boob jenga.
- There we go. Okay. - ALL: Ohh.
Okay, well...
What about James?
You have to make sure everything's okay.
He's a really great guy.
MARIKA: Run to him, Kimmie.
Do to him whatever...weird stuff it is you do together.
And do it fast, before it's too late.
Yeah, I will! Big time.
[ Chuckling ] Okay. Okay, thanks!
- I love you guys! - We love you!
Hey! Bring back something that comes in a bucket!
Hey.
- Hey. - Uh...I didn't want to come in.
I thought it might be a little weird.
But, um...I just wanted to say I am so sorry for what I said,
and, uh, I would never want to come between
you and your friends.
No. Look, it's not your fault.
I think I picked the fight on purpose.
Maybe I just wanted to get back here and see these guys.
So, it's... it's good between you and them?
Oh, yeah.
Good. Uh...
What about, uh, between you and me?
We're so good.
Yeah?
So good.
Okay.
I better get going.
James, can we talk to you inside for a minute, please?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Hey.
What's going on?
Listen, uh... We've been talking,
and we want you to know
that we think you're all right.
Yeah. And you're welcome here anytime.
Well, most of the time.
But certainly every other weekend.
If you call.
We can discuss it. It's not a big deal.
Thank you, ladies.
Aww, look at us.
All the gang's back together.
Hey! So, what's next?
Puffy paints? Connect 4? "Lady and the Tramp"?
What infantile pastime awaits?
Kendall, I mean this with all love and respect.
- Get out! - What?
You... Y-you're kicking me out?
Oh, my God.
I'm being kicked out of Kimmie Boubier's place.
Pfft.
I've never been this low in my entire life. [ Sighs ]
And I'm including the time I dated Donald Trump Jr.
[ Sighs ]
Wait a second.
If I've never been this low before, that means I've hit rock bottom.
And if I've hit rock bottom, that means...
There's nowhere to go but up!
It's over! It's over!
This long, horrible nightmare with you freaks is finally over!
I am back!
[ Sighs ]
I was never here, and if any of you say I was,
I will sue you.
Thank you, Kimmie.
And you others, whose names I'm glad
I never bothered to learn.
So, Monopoly?
- Yeah! - Yes!
I call Iron!
You know, actually, I think they got rid of the Iron.
Oh, no! But that was the only practical game piece!
Now they have a cat.
- Oh, yay! - Yeah, see?
Everything changes, and everything's okay.
Yeah. [ Laughs ]
♪ You like my style, huh? ♪
♪ I'm gonna give it to ya, watch me move it now ♪
♪ Why don't you come and get it? ♪
♪ Time is up now, I'm gonna give it to ya ♪
♪ Don't be shy now, 'cause we got to get it ♪
♪ I'm gonna give it to ya ♪
Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com