What's up, diary?
It's Kimmie Boo-bier.
This week is Halloween... my favorite week of the year,
apart from bread n' cheese appreciation week.
Usually on Halloween, Helen-Alice, Marika, and I stay in.
Trick or treating is for kids.
Plus, I was never very good at it.
Trick or treat!
Oh, look at all these cute costumes.
Take one.
Hello?
Hey, what are you doing?
- Thanks. - Hey.
Get back here, Boubier.
No can do.
Tampering with a mailbox is a federal crime.
This year, however,
under my new policy of getting out there,
I'm going to the office Halloween party.
I've already bought this amazing mermaid costume
in the hopes of attracting Richard's attentions.
Oh, hang on a sec. I better get this.
Sometimes, the pizza place calls to make sure it's not a fake call
'cause of the size of the order.
Aah!
This might not be the best costume to walk in,
but this Halloween is gonna be a super fun night.
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ I'm having such a good time ♪ ♪ Good time ♪
♪ I'm having a ball ♪ ♪ Super fun night ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm havin' a good time ♪
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪
♪ Super fun night ♪ ♪ Super fun wild night ♪
Kim-sync, did you ask
if you could have a "plus two" to your office party?
Oh, I did, but Snarling Hannah, who's in charge of the invites,
just looked at me and went...
- Which I think is a no. - Mm.
But we always do super fun night together.
I know.
But sometimes, the Timberlake of the group...
♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm ♪
...has to go off and do their own thing.
That puts Joey Fatone and Lance Bass
at a serious disadvantage.
Wait, am I the Lance Bass in this situation?
Hey, Richard.
Are you excited about the party?
Halloween. Ooh!
What costume are you gonna wear?
Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Kendall Quinn?
What are you talking about?
Oh, you know, Kendall Quinn?
She's sort of quite tall, blond,
rather attractive, but a little bit scary.
Believes that there's not a minute in the day
- that shouldn't be worked. - Yes.
Well, she's still around,
but I'm trying to cultivate my softer side.
Sometimes, being a hard-ass all day is humanly impossible.
Yeah, well, you know what they say.
Too much stress causes baldness.
What?
- Boubier. - Yes.
Are you any good at picking out Halloween costumes?
Uh, please.
I am awesome.
Last year, my friends and I had the best costumes ever.
Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter?
Hello, Clarice.
Huh.
What do I do?
Should I just stay silent?
Great.
So, should we go to the costume shop after work?
Yeah.
Yeah, uh, sure.
This is gonna be fun.
Hmm. Well, I'm thinking about going as a stripper,
but not a sexy stripper. Just, like, a guy who strips
old varnish off of furniture, you know?
That's a costume, 'cause it makes you think.
That's weird.
Hey.
- Ladies! - Hi. Oh, hey.
The gentlemen of 11A request your presence this Friday night.
It's our annual Monster Mash Bash.
B.Y.O.B.
- There'll be dancing. - What?
There will be drinks that I concoct using science.
And guess who'll be there...
- Us maniacs. - What? Yeah.
So, what do you say, ladies?
Part-ay, Frid-ay, at the Rubesters et al?
Uh... Just a second.
- God, what do we do? - I don't know.
Going to a party without our queen bee, it's never been done.
It's never been done.
Wait.
Lance Bass is crushing it without J.T.
- I say we go for it. - Me, too.
- Break. - Break.
Okay, gentlemen. We are in.
Kimmie can't come, but we don't care.
"Kimmie can't come, but we don't care."
♪ Kimmie can't come, but we don't care ♪
♪ Kimmie can't come, but we don't ca-a-a-a-re ♪
♪ We'll see you tomorrow night ♪
Ja!
We did not plan that.
- We did not. - We just came up with it.
We've made a terrible mistake.
Terrible.
Some of these costumes are strangely specific.
Werewolf flight attendant.
- What? - Oh.
What does she serve... Peanuts and terror?
Oh, look. The sexy section.
Mm.
Would you like a frosted pint of lager?
Oh, yeah. Guten tag.
Sexy Dorothy.
Where's my dog? Who cares? Let's do it.
What does "trick or treat" actually mean?
I've always wondered.
Oh, well, you knock on someone's door,
and they either give you candy,
or you play a-a trick on them... like a prank.
Mm. So, pranks feature heavily at Halloween?
Oh, yeah.
I play pranks on Helen-Alice and Marika every year.
Marika!
Sorry, Kimmie.
Rocky and Apollo have a mind of their own.
Sometimes it doesn't work out so great.
Oh, look.
A lady vampire costume.
I have to confess,
a lady vampire is the first woman that triggered my...
How can I put this?... Adolescent urges.
Oh.
So, you have a thing for lady vampires?
Yes. Yes.
Not so much a biting and "sleeping in coffins" thing.
More of a sort of skin-tight black dress
juxtaposed against the alabaster cleavage.
Nice use of adjectives.
Look at this.
- Plug and socket. - Oh, yes.
Ah, they look happy, don't they?
Yeah, that's a couple's costume.
- Ah. - They're really popular.
Well, why don't we just go as this, then?
- In a couple's costume? - Hmm?
Like, you and me, um... together as a couple?
Would that be okay?
Oh, or do you already have a costume?
No, I-I did, but it split.
I don't think this is a date.
Okay. Let's look at this one more time, shall we?
Royce comes into your office,
asks you to go to the costume shop.
You say yes, correct?
Yes.
Oh!
Then why don't I believe you?
Marika, what are you doing?
Uncovering the truth.
I've been binge-watching "Law and Order: SVU."
It's hard to shake Mariska.
But the point is you guys went to a costume shop
and Richard asked you to be in a couple's costume with him.
Right. Let's look at the rest of the facts.
He's coming over here.
To pick you up.
- In a town car. - Okay.
- That's a fancy car. - That's enough from you, sweet cheeks.
And you're going to a party together in a couple's costume!
Okay. Okay.
- You know what this is? - I know what this is.
- Can I eat something? - No.
- It's a date! - It's a date!
It is?
- Yes. - What?
I'm going on a date with Richard.
It's a Halloween miracle.
Oh.
- I thought you... - I thought you would...
Oh, this is just embarrassing.
Oh, look, it's little Richard.
Come on in.
- Hello. - Hello.
Look, uh, I thought I told you to stop trying to attract me.
I'm not.
Yeah? Well, tell that to the metal pin in my elbow.
Oh. Right in there.
Okay. I'm ready.
Wow. Kimmie, you look amazing.
Oh, thanks. So do you.
I get it. Chick magnet.
- Very good. - That's right.
You guys are like Sonny & Cher. It's cute.
Right, well, we should probably get going.
Bye. Bee!
Oh, Richard, I'll be down in one sec.
I-I just have to rearrange my chick-lets.
- Okay. - Yeah. Out. Out.
I don't think I can go through with this.
The big move?
Yes. Yes. The big move.
You have to.
We spent all morning planning the big surprise.
- I think it's too much. - No.
There's a lot of other chicks in the hen house,
and if you don't make a move on that rooster soon,
- somebody else will. - Okay.
Okay. I set the pyro in your office.
I thought you were banned from using fireworks.
"Banned" is such a loose term.
What the point is, Kimmie,
is that you've got to make a big move.
If he reciprocates, then you know you're in.
And if he doesn't, it's no big deal.
You go back to hanging out with us,
just us girls as nature intended.
It's a win/win.
- What have I got to lose? - Nothing.
- You've got nothing to lose. - Yeah. Yeah.
Take one last look at the vision board.
- Got it? - Yeah.
- See it. - I see that vision.
- See it. - Okay.
I'm gonna put all my fear into an egg and just lay it.
- Yeah, yeah. Do it. - That's a great idea.
- Okay. - Ah, ah! There goes Kimmie.
Here goes nothing.
Lay an egg of hope.
We're gonna be fine.
We're gonna talk to three boys we don't really know,
and... and we need a safe word.
Like, if we... if we need to leave,
if we feel uncomfortable, we should...
we should come up with a word that we can easily work
- into our conversation. - Yeah, yeah. Okay. Totally.
So, what is it?
Pancreas?
- No. No. - No. No.
- Thyroid? - No.
Weather vane?
Yes.
Buzz, buzz. We're here.
Honey, I'm home.
I'm running out of material here.
I don't know.
Oh. Hello?
Thank God you guys are here. Something's wrong with Benji.
- Yeah, okay. Sure there is. - Come on.
Something's wrong with him.
Whoa! Oh, no!
Ow.
Oh, God...
People got to stop doing this to me.
Bye.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
Oh, that's so cute.
Let me take a picture and put it on Facebook
to prove that I have straight friends.
Does that look straight?
Straight as it gets.
Err!
Yeah, yeah. E-mail that to me. Yeah. Yeah.
♪ Three, two, one, blast-off ♪
Is that Kendall?
♪ It's easy to say ♪
♪ No hard feelings when you're talking to a robot ♪
♪ It gets a little tougher ♪
♪ When she starts to take her mask off ♪
♪ Stupid... ♪ ♪ Should've never took my clothes off ♪
♪ Three, two, one, blast-off ♪
♪ I don't wanna date another robot-like ♪
♪ And if you never learned to treat a robot right ♪
♪ Say no hard feelings when you're talking to a robot ♪
♪ It gets a little tougher ♪
♪ When she starts to take her mask off ♪
♪ Three, two, one, blast-off ♪
Wow.
Very good.
- Very good. - Look out.
Thank you.
It was too much, too soon.
Guys, come on. Please.
- Come back in. - You scared us.
Hey, I'm the one who should be mad. I got punched in the nose.
Don't you want to just stay and play Spin the Zombie?
Ugh.
What's wrong?
Blood coming out of the elevator.
L-like in "The Shining."
Oh, oh, is that what it is?
Nice try. I get it.
We pranked you, now you're trying to prank us.
Is that supposed to be scary?
I see more blood than that after I floss.
I mean, have you even seen "The Shining"?
Like, the whole hallway is filled with blood.
That looks like Jack Nicholson hocked a loogie on the floor.
Yeah. Like he have, like, lung problems.
And then he hocked a loogie... like, a bloody loogie.
Well, we tried.
Who did this?!
- I-it wasn't us. - I did it.
You kids, always making a mess and expecting me to clean it up.
Well, I'm gonna make another mess!
A big mess!
Got you!
Counter prank!
Thanks for your help, Cal.
No problem, ladies. Keep it real.
He's the best.
We're in the same fantasy-football league, so...
♪ Oh, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ Oh, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, oh ♪
♪ Oh, la, la ♪
Excuse me, but I have to say
you are certainly the coolest chick in here.
What on earth are you doing?
Yeah. Ignore that.
Oh. Oh, my God.
Has that got peanuts in it?
- What is it? - What? Oh.
Richard?
I can't breathe.
- You want me to... - Allergic to peanuts.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Everybody.
He can't breathe. He can't breathe.
Oh! Oh!
Does anybody have a knife?
I need to cut open his throat!
Quick! Quick!
It's okay. It's okay.
Trick or treat.
It's just a Halloween prank.
You know, the old "peanut allergy closing up the throat" trick.
Not yet, mate.
Okay.
For my next prank, I think I'm gonna get up on the balcony
and pretend to have a heart attack.
Do you want to come?
Oh, um, listen.
Can you meet me in my office in, like, 10 minutes?
I just want to show you something.
Okay, Boubier. I'm intrigued. What is it?
It's a surprise.
Okay.
I'll be right there.
Oh, you've just got a bit of, um,
- chocolate fountain on your lip. - Oh.
That's it.
Okay.
Richard.
Hey. Just the guy I was looking for.
Um, my robo cups have come off.
- Can you help me? - Okay.
Oh, dear.
Tin woman is broken.
There we are.
It's been a fun evening, hasn't it?
Yeah, it has, hasn't it?
Mm.
You know, it actually feels kind of great
just to let go once in a while.
- In small quantities, of course. - Mm.
Well, you wouldn't want to have too much fun, would you?
No, that would be totally unprofessional.
Mm.
So would an office romance.
Nobody has to know.
I'm very tight lipped.
- Kendall. - Richard.
My father is a senior partner in this company.
I wouldn't want to do anything that was...
inappropriate.
Neither do I, but I can't help it.
This is a very bad idea.
It's terrible.
Sorry, Kimmie.
Slight detour.
That's okay.
What did you want to show me?
This.
Sexy vampire at your service.
Let's get a coffin for two.
So, what do you think of the outfit?
Um, you're a lady vampire?
Yes.
And you've come as a lady vampire
because I told you I think they're sexy?
Alabaster.
And you're trying to be sexy for me because...
You like me?
Yes.
Kimmie.
I don't know what to say.
Uh, prank.
Prank! I totally pranked you.
Am I trying to seduce you?
No.
Oh, my God.
You just totally fell for it.
You really had me.
Yeah, you should've seen your face.
For a moment there, I was thinking,
"Oh, my God, what's going on?" But...
I know!
But, no.
- Good one. Good one, Boubier. - Got you.
Mm.
Well, we... we should probably be going back to the party, shouldn't we?
Oh, yes.
Oh, wait. Now you've got something on your face.
- Have I? Oh. - Yeah, it's just, um... What...
- What is that? - Oh, it's, um...
Oh! There you guys are.
You have to come back to the party.
Someone is dressed as a werewolf stewardess.
So specific.
Hey, nice costume change.
Kendall, I'll be right there.
Okay.
Sorry, Kimmie.
What? No. Um...
Uh, you know,
you should probably go back and have some fun.
- Um... - So...
Right, well, perhaps we can...
We can talk about this later.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Okay. Looks great, by the way.
Kimmie, Kendall is so...
I don't want to curse, because it flares up my eczema,
but you know what I mean.
And Richard is gonna see through that eventually.
Yeah.
Kendall's like an earthworm.
Sure, you want to poke it for a while,
but eventually, you'll just get bored.
And, hey, at least you told him how you feel, right?
Yeah. This chick didn't chicken out.
That takes guts.
Yeah.
And Richard is now with Kendall
and I'm all alone.
So, I got that going for me.
You're not all alone, Kimmie.
You've got us.
Yeah, I know.
It'd be way worse if I didn't.
Hey, do you want me to make some waffles?
Yeah.
- H.A.'s belgie waffs. - No. I ordered a pizza.
I can't cancel.
I don't want to ruin that relationship, too.
You guys should go back to Benji's.
Oh, I don't think so.
Seriously. Go. I'll be fine.
Are you sure?
Uh, yes.
Go. Seriously. I need more alone time.
- Okay. Okay. - All right.
- If that's what you want. - Yeah.
- Okay. - Buzz off.
See, you even made a joke. That's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
♪ I was working in the lab late one night ♪
♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪
♪ For my monster, from his slab, began to rise ♪
♪ And suddenly, to my surprise ♪
♪ He did the mash ♪
♪ He did the monster mash ♪
♪ The monster mash ♪
♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
♪ He did the mash ♪
♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
♪ He did the mash ♪
♪ He did the monster mash ♪
♪ From my laboratory in the castle east ♪
♪ To the monster bedroom where the vampires feast ♪
♪ The ghouls all came from their humble abodes ♪
♪ To get a jolt from my electrodes ♪
Aah!
♪ They did the mash ♪
♪ Super fun night ♪
♪ We did the mash ♪
♪ We did the monster mash ♪
♪ The monster mash ♪
♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
♪ We did the mash ♪
♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
♪ We did the mash ♪
♪ We did the monster mash ♪
♪ The ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-sh ♪
Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com