Previously on Nurse Jackie...
Dr. Roman, you might wanna throw a little stitch in there.
Just looking out for your breasts.
Blouse!
Dr. Roman has had every bump in the road moved over
- because she is... - Hot.
Expecting it.
Next time she's not cutting it, say something.
- Who wants morphine? - Yep, yep, thanks.
This is a lawsuit waiting to bite my butt.
You're not even an employee.
Which is why I have no choice but... to hire you back.
Who's that?
New Trauma guy. Some big shot Army doc.
I'm thinking it's time that I moved out
and got my own place.
- Where are you going? - I want to be with my baby all the time.
- When are you leaving? - Today's my last day.
Really?
The day before my birthday...
- See you on the outside. - Charlie, this is Jackie, listen,
I am calling you; and you have to call me back?
Charlie?
Look, I know...
this isn't part of our deal,
but is there any way I can get the girls for my birthday tomorrow?
I'll think about it.
Hey Jackie, it's Kevin.
I know it's your birthday tomorrow, but I'm gonna keep the girls.
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Come on. We've managed to mediate every other issue in your divorce.
Can't we find a compromise on this last one?
I need primary custody. Period.
- Oh, nice. - Can you meet in the middle, Jackie?
What about shared custody?
I'll do that. Shared custody is fair. Fair is all I want.
Here's what I want. I wanna go back in a fucking time machine
before you were a drug addict and ruined our marriage and fucked up our kids.
- That's what I want. - Can we keep this on the issue, please?
Okay. Here's my issue.
Her work hours are nuts,
shared custody when her schedule is all over the place
is crazy for me, and unfair to the girls.
It's funny. You had no problem with my hours when they were paying for your bar.
Enough. Someone needs to give here.
Kevin, Jackie has met you halfway.
If she can make her hours more predictable,
would you agree to share custody?
Yeah. Okay. I'll agree to it.
But...
if she can't fix her hours, I get primary.
Stop. Nobody say another word.
You have 24 hours to work this out or I toss it to the judge.
So, maybe you'll also change your mind about tonight?
Let me have the girls for my birthday?
Sorry. It sets a precedent.
A precedent? Jesus...
What if I promised to have no more birthdays?
I kinda like that idea.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
Hey. Been a while. Good to see you back.
Yeah, I missed the coffee.
It's been a rough 24 hours.
My best friend is leaving the country,
my ex is trying to get custody of my kids,
you know, it's just a lot.
Mm.
Anyway, it's good to see you.
- I'm gonna... I'm gonna sit down. - Yeah.
Hey, you might wanna get your hand up.
If you can't see your higher power,
how do you know it's out there?
Today, I prayed for a parking spot
and then when I got here, boom, parking spot.
That's how I know my higher power is out there.
It's gonna give you hope.
Okay. We got time for one more share.
Anybody?
Okay, sweetie.
We're gonna make this all better, okay?
- Aren't we, Doctor? - Can you tell me where it hurts?
Did you check his ears?
- Not yet. - Okay. Just gonna take a little look in your ear.
Just a little light. Look, see?
Easy, easy, easy.
- I am your doctor. - Dr. Cooper.
- Here we go. - Let me take a quick peek.
Oh, lookie there.
S-P-I-D-E-R.
- It's gonna be okay. - He's nine. He can S-P-E-L-L.
I see it.
And... gone.
You're actually scaring it away, Doctor.
Uh, my patient, Doctor.
Maybe Dr. Prentiss has another way.
You're doing great, Jake. How many beers you got on the wall?
I'm down to 43.
Come on, spidey. Where are you?
See, when bugs get lost, they always come to the light.
Kinda like people.
Did you learn that serving in Iraq?
No, serving in Rikers...
for dealing.
All right. Here we go.
A curious creature.
A spider emerges to investigate.
Is it friend or is it foe?
Ah, got him.
Ooh. I'm gonna go with foe.
Good morning and may I wish you a very...
- Stop. -... Happy workday.
Hey, what's that?
Looks like our master schedule.
An apt phrase I heard
might help you with your struggles.
"You're only as sick as your secrets."
Here's a secret. You wanna help me with my struggles?
Back off.
Hannah, what's up?
You missed the smell so much you had to come back?
No, it's pretty much the people.
- Hi, I'm Dr. Roman. - This is Hannah Cowen. A return customer.
It's my lower back. It really aches.
Can you roll over for me?
Well, there's no swelling,
but it is possible
to get day-after back pain.
You like, what, Vicodin? Percocet?
Hey, it really does hurt.
Jackie, get some film.
I'll write up a prescription.
Not to worry, honey. I'll take care of you.
Nothing.
Unless you see anything.
Maybe there's something else going on.
Gee, you think?
- She's surfing meds. - You don't know that.
Hey, I go clubbing.
I can so spot an addict when I see one.
What?
God, you're so weird.
Yes, I'd like to order some lab work for a patient.
I'm Dr. Roman.
Dr. Carrie Roman.
When the back X-ray came up clean, I ran urine and a blood culture.
Her white count is through the roof.
You're a nurse, how did you order these?
Isn't this Dr. Roman's patient?
Uh, this is my patient. She trusts me.
She's a little tachy at 110.
BP's low. 100 over 65.
I should go to the hospital.
You're in the hospital, sweetie. This is Jackie.
- Is this rash new? - Uh, yeah.
All right. Get her admitted to the ICU.
Zoey.
Um, if they were from me, they'd be pink.
You threw away a card from your dad?
I wish my dad would send me flowers,
but he's in prison.
Enough about my dad. Tell me about yours.
You have a dad?
She worked here 10 years before she even knew she had a husband.
Okay. From this point on,
could you all assume that I have all the normal components
of a family and they're all fucked up?
You can't. It's a gift.
It's a gift I don't want.
Today is a gift when you're sober.
That's why we call it the present.
All available personnel
please assemble in the old hallway.
People, people.
A patient who came here to get better got sicker.
All Saints is responsible for this patient's sepsis.
Our 10th case in the last year.
It should be zero.
Hand hygiene is the biggest culprit.
You wash your hands, but not enough.
So I'm looking for a volunteer who will be my...
hand hygiene monitor. Zoey.
Honored. So honored
to take on this sacred mission to save lives.
Yes.
Over in Landstuhl, we cultured wounds
to ID patients at risk for sepsis.
I mean, maybe we can start that here.
Why ask me? You're the new Chief of the ER.
- I am? - Oh. Oops.
People, our new Chief of the ER,
Dr. Ike Prentiss.
Back to work now.
What the fuck was that?
First, O'Hara gets the chief job over me...
she goes and then Akalitus gives it to some guy who started yesterday?
I mean, what is it about me?
Really?
You know what? Screw it. I'm quitting.
Why, so you can go someplace else and have the same thing happen?
You want respect? Man the fuck up.
- Cut the goofy shit. - What goofy shit?
Two words: air pistols.
Come in.
How's your sepsis patient?
Poor thing. Lucky she has you.
Keep me posted.
Is there something else?
Uh, yeah. I said I needed to talk to you.
You did?
Oh, right. The schedule.
Well, it's not gonna work.
Jackie, your schedule's fine
except that it tumbles into 10 other people's schedules.
I do this for you, I have to do it for everybody.
Gloria, you understand this is my one shot at custody.
You just have to sign it. Nobody has to know.
I'm sorry. I can't.
Congrats on the new promotion.
And I heard how you got the bug out of that kid's ear.
I think I'm gonna learn a lot from you.
Yeah, you know, I think you will.
Like not dismissing a sepsis patient's complaints as drug trolling.
And to aid in your learning,
I have a job for you.
We have a patient in three who is suffering
from impacted bowels.
Disimpact them.
It's good to be chief.
She can go all hoochie, but the big man is saving it.
Just saying.
I gave those flowers away, Thor.
- Bring them back. - Oh, darn. He's allergic.
Probably too tacky, but you can enjoy them.
Congratulations. Our one millionth dog bite.
Freeze!
Wash 'em, cowboy.
I want my mom.
I already called her. She booked the next flight out.
There's something you need to know, Hannah.
This is my house,
and in my house, the odds are in your favor. You got it?
- You paged? - I have to talk to you.
- It's Prentiss. - What about him?
Bad enough he took your job away. Now he's on my ass.
He's giving me extra work. I was being so nice to him,
and then he was like, "Go give an enema to Mr...
Worthington.
I'm sorry. I just... can you...
I can give him the enema for you.
For real?
You're so awesome.
- On your side, sir. - On your side. Ah.
I feel like I'm gonna learn a lot from you.
What are you doing Saturday?
- Free all day. - You are?
- Yup. - That's... that's great.
Can you cover my shift?
- Sure. - Oh, my God.
I would so totally hug you if your hand wasn't in his ass.
Hello?
Here it comes.
People, I have an announcement to make.
The new Chief of ER will be
Dr. Ike Prentiss.
That is all.
Gloria, here it is.
What's this?
These are my new hours we just worked out.
You told me to bring it to you so you could sign it.
You don't remember?
- Hey, what's up? - Breaking news.
My hours are now officially custody friendly.
Akalitus signed off on a new schedule.
- Kevin? - Yeah, I'm here.
My lawyer decided to petition the court
for psychological tests on the kids.
We're going for primary custody.
You... your lawyer?
- We're mediating. - It's called a forensic evaluation and...
What the hell, Kevin? We made a deal.
I fixed my hours like you asked me to.
Now you're gonna fucking change the rules on me?
You're talking to me about following rules?
Seriously?
I never thought I'd ever find any part of this funny.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.
Kevin wants psych tests for the girls.
That sucks.
And you know what?
I think Kevin is engaging in anger behavior towards you
for changing the relationship dynamic when you got sober.
No, I think he's pretty much just being an asshole.
Why do you sound like a self-help book?
I've been going to Al-Anon meetings.
I am learning so much about you.
Now I'm going to detach with love.
Oh, damn it.
Dr. Roman, please answer your page to ICU.
Her sepsis is causing renal failure.
Thanks for coming, Doctor, after I've already stabilized your patient.
Put the phone down, Dr. Roman.
Anyone seen my phone?
Jackie, did you...
Yup, it's a bitch without the pills.
Especially with Kevin
kicking my ass over the girls.
Some birthday.
Yeah, I just keep wondering when it is
I'm supposed to get to the happy part, right?
Whoa, Jesus Christ.
I just need to get something.
- Hey. - Hey.
I thought for your birthday, I'd give you a ride home.
Oh, Eddie. Thanks, that's sweet. Can I take a rain check?
I've just had one of those days.
Sure.
You wanna talk about it?
No, it's Kevin. It's custody stuff.
Except now he wants the girls to have psych testing.
That's hardball.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
What can you do?
Maybe I can catch somebody in Psych.
Find out what this test is all about.
Try Dr. Saltzman.
She's the best. Tell her I sent you.
And, uh,
I'm around if you need anything.
Now this is a nice birthday present.
Just this. You and me like this.
It's just... I don't even know what I'm saying.
- Thank you. - It's what I'm here for.
Where's the lady?
- Change of plans. - Oh.
- Thanks anyway, Chief. - All right.
I thought you were working late.
Surprise!
- Happy birthday, Mom! - Oh, my gosh, you guys!
Oh, my... I thought you were at Dad's!
- We were till Zoey came over. - She and Dad went for a walk
and he said we could come see you.
- We brought a piñata and cake. - Yeah.
Mmm!
Live from London.
- Surprise! - Now way!
- No. - I missed you so much!
Cheers, birthday girl!
What happened?
- Yay! Got her back! - Hey.
- Oh! - Are you kidding?
- Next batter. Fi, you're up. - Strike.
- Boo! - Give it all you got.
- One... two... - Two...
Three.
- Oh! - Honey, nice try.
- Yeah! - Show 'em how it's done.
- Come on, Grace. Whoo-hoo! - It's against the ropes.
- Yeah, come on! - Very nice.
- Nice, nice. - Very good.
One shot, sweetie. You only get one...
You know what I'd really like for my birthday?
- Hmm? - How about you draw me a picture?
Of what?
I would love a picture of our family.
Okay.
Is that me or Grace?
You. See the smile?
Oh, yes. It's my birthday smile.
- Now Daddy. - Yes, we can't forget Daddy.
But where do you think Daddy is? Is he at work maybe?
Or, uh, maybe he's at his apartment?
Hey.
I'm... I just wanted to say thank you for the surprise.
The nice surprise. The girls.
Thank you.
Enjoy 'em while you can.
I got another surprise today. You ready for this?
Flowers from my father.
No, shit.
From Hank, huh?
- Jesus. - It's hard growing up with just one parent.
- You made your bed. - Can you give me a break, Kevin, please?
I know you're angry at me. I'm angry at you.
This is about the girls.
This psych test... just a really shitty move.
Grace is already filled with rage.
Fee is struggling in school. Why do you think that is?
Who's sweating the test? Them or you?
Look, so I talked to a child psychologist
at work to find out about this test.
Do you know what she told me?
They ask the kids to draw a picture of their family
and then they tell them to start erasing.
So guess what Fi drew for me for my birthday.
Take a look at this. First of all,
look how little she made herself.
You're only making my case.
Second of all, look at you, Kev.
Way over here off to the side.
So I'm just saying,
once these girls start erasing...
who do you think is gonna go first?
♪ There's always some shadows ♪
♪ Within the prettiest of scenes ♪
♪ I'll cast one on you ♪
♪ And you'll cast one on me. ♪
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