[On fire by Andy blunda]
♪ ♪
♪ your love is like a river ♪
♪ flowing through my veins ♪
♪ your love is the fever ♪
♪ I can't get enough ♪
♪ I'm on fire ♪
♪ we're on fire ♪
♪ our love's too much for just one heart to take ♪
Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
[Metal clanging]
[Knocking at the door]
[Door opening] Hey, cutie.
Hey.
- You want to join us? - Mm-hmm.
[Laughing] Oh.
- [Moaning] - Tahl said
Jen's off with another lover,
so he gets to spend the night with us.
Making love to Michael and Tahl is one of my favorite things.
Having the double affection of two men
is absolutely liberating.
There are some positions you can get into with men,
where they're close enough to take their two penises,
and it becomes like one big super cock,
and that's the most amazing way to love two men at once.
Mm-hmm.
So I wake up, and I'm like, "hey, [Chuckles] where's Tahl?"
I just figured he'd gone to the bathroom.
Tahl? Kamala?
Oh, fuck.
Mm, hey, Jen.
Hi, Tahl. What are you doing in here?
We have some ground rules, and one of them is that
Tahl has to spend the night with me.
Um... I, uh...
I just came in here to snuggle with them,
and I, um, I fell asleep.
Were you in here all fuckin' night?
- Yeah. - Yeah, I--
He was with us all night.
- I-I thought that-- - I--
- That's a total fuckin' lie. - I didn't--
I didn't actually say that.
I'm really fucking pissed. I'm really pissed.
I mean, I just came here to snuggle. I fell asleep.
- It wasn't-- - Did you just snuggle?
No, no, we-- we made love last night,
and I didn't-- I didn't know that you were here.
So you just came in here to snuggle
and then you have sex, and you don't tell me about it.
They were already making love, and then I just kinda joined in,
but then I meant to go back.
I'm really mad.
- This is just not cool at all. - Yeah, honey, here,
let me give you a hug.
Actually, I don't-- I kind of don't want one.
I just think it's bullshit
because I moved all my stuff here,
I went through all this based on what Tahl agreed to,
and now it's not happening.
Did he tell you that I was out with my other lover?
That's the understanding I had.
I wouldn't have slept with him if I thought you were
- alone in the other room. - Yeah, that's fine.
I'm-- I'm just trying to find out if Tahl actually lied to you
and told you I was somewhere that I wasn't.
I didn't lie. I don't know if I gave an answer.
- I think. - So you intentionally
didn't give an answer?
That sounds pretty fuckin' sneaky.
I have one fucking boundary, you guys. One boundary...
- Look, look-- - That I've been talking about
since I've been living here,
and you can't honor that?
It's not-- It's not okay.
- This is so exciting. - [Squeals]
What else do we need to do to, uh,
to get ready to talk to Kamala today?
I probably need to paint my toenails.
Today we have a meeting with Kamala.
She's gonna help us
with our totally private commitment ceremony.
I know that I don't want some of the traditional wedding crap.
Like the part about, "I take you."
- Yeah. [Laughs] - "I take you as my wife."
[Laughs] Let's offer ourselves
to each other, instead of taking.
Yeah.
Anthony is the greatest feminist I've ever known.
He really holds women to the same standard that he holds men.
It's beautiful.
I don't any of the gendered, you know,
- helpmate, obeying crap... - Yeah.
Unless it's about obeying our collective will, you know?
- Yeah. - We all obey
what we decide to obey.
It's really important to us to have
some palpable symbolic moments in our ceremony
because we are just pioneers,
uh, making it up almost as we go along.
I mean, I-I think one of the natural things
about expanding marriage is the idea of expanding love...
- Mm-hmm. - So we can, like,
marry it to, like, expanding our love to our love
- of community, city... - Yeah.
- World, you know? Both: - Yeah.
That could be the symbolism.
- Hi. - Hi.
[Laughter]
You don't want to get tan lines, do you?
That's-- that, you know, those are not what you want.
Probably I-- Probably I should not. [Laughs]
That's not what you want, yeah.
I like the way Lindsey thinks she needs an excuse
- to get you naked. - I know.
She just gave me a logical reason.
[Laughter]
And we're talking about this, like, really beautiful,
exciting thing we want to do,
and it just starts getting really sexy.
[Sighs]
Anthony's able to read our body language at this point.
If neither of us are going for his cock,
he knows-- [Laughs] That's not what this moment is about.
That doesn't mean we don't want him involved.
He's filling in the gaps.
If I'm going down on her, then nobody's kissing her
or kissing her breasts. It's like a puzzle sometimes.
[Laughs]
[Moaning]
Seems like you are, like, getting turned on
- and climaxing easier lately. - Yeah!
- What is that about? - It's 'cause
- Lindsey's so damn good! - [Chuckles]
[Laughs]
So it's not happening with other people?
No, I mean, it is. I think my body's just--
just getting more excitable. I'm just excited about my life.
It's exciting times in our life.
I think I'm just gonna go to my room.
- Why--? - All right. Whatever.
- You need space? - Why-- Hold on.
- No. - Yeah, I mean, why-- why is it--
Jen, I'm sorry. It's not like--
[Sighs] Why are you making this such--
Such a big deal? It's not a big fuckin' deal.
Look, it was a mistake. I knew you were sleeping there--
So whatever.
I didn't lie to her. I didn't lie to her.
[Laughs] Her asking you a question, and you just
avoiding the answer is not-- is not telling the truth.
I don't want to talk to you.
Really?
You need to, like, admit to lying, Tahl,
before I even continue this conversation.
Every time I bring this fuckin' rule up,
you know, I just get shit. She just shuts me down
right away, and she doesn't want to hear it,
and so it's not even up for discussion.
It's built up to this.
There was a bit of dishonesty there.
Why? Why did you lie?
I feel like you have all these fuckin' rules.
Mm-hmm. Sneaking out and lying
is not the fuckin' way to get what you want.
That wasn't even my intention,
but now that it's up, I have too many boundaries
- and restrictions. - Really?
Is that what it feels like?
It's what it feels like sometimes.
That just makes me think you're just being an asshole
because you have Kamala for a girlfriend,
you have other lovers, you have so many things, Tahl.
The way you're coming at me and what just happened,
I honestly don't know if I want to live here, Tahl.
I don't know if I want to live here.
Why do you always have to throw that out?
I don't always have to throw that out.
You do, you-- That's, like, your extreme.
You're just like, "I don't want to fuckin' deal with it."
Then I, like, have to-- I have to suffer too.
Really? Are you really suffering?
- Yeah. - Is your life so bad
that you're suffering? You're--
W-w-well, you know, I just feel like
- you totally minimize things. - That's what I thought.
That's what I thought. I think you're--
You basically lied, and you made a mistake,
and you're getting mad at me to try to cover that up,
and it's-- and it's bullshit, and that's why
I don't want to talk to you right now, okay?
- Well, this conversation-- - Is over for now.
- No. - And actually, leave me alone.
We-- we need to figure this out.
Sorry. We'll talk later, yeah?
I'm really angry. I made a mistake here.
I fucked up, and at the same time,
I don't like this rule and I'm getting tired of it.
Hey, honey.
I know I was angry, but Tahl said some pretty,
like, shitty things.
Him lying is a big deal to me,
and it's just making me reconsider living here.
I get it, you're hurt,
but to say you don't want to live here,
it feels like you're just running away
'cause you're in pain.
Probably true, but that's just how I'm feeling right now.
You know, it's hard to-- to separate that.
You know, I wish I could work it out,
but I'm gonna meet this triad in L.A.
I've been working with them, we're building this ritual.
I really want you to come with.
Michael and I planned a trip to Los Angeles,
but I'm not gonna officiate
a ceremony that's all about love and harmony
when I'm having, like, a total chaotic explosion in my house.
We don't tolerate much drama. This could be the final straw.
Like, honestly, I just feel so angry,
I have no desire to go do that.
Like, I have no desire to be stuck in a car with you guys.
I can't leave with the household like this.
You have to either come with me, or I don't go.
It's a really important thing.
All right.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, honey.
Being stuck in the car with them
and just talking and talking doesn't seem to me like fun.
I'm willing to do it, but I don't know
that it's gonna work out.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Pack your shit. Let's go. - All right.
- Thanks. - Love you.
- Sorry. - I love you. I know.
I'm really worried Jen's gonna use this
as a reason to leave.
Can you believe we're doing this, guys?
We're making a huge commitment
that most of society doesn't recognize. [Laughs]
We're gonna get that question a lot, you know that, right?
Like, "you can't legally get married,
so why would you even try?"
The answer to that is, "who the fuck gives a shit
about the law when it comes to personal relationships?"
Say we dedicate this to all the people
who can-- who want to get married and can't,
be it in plural marriage, or be it in gay marriage.
It's normal that interracial couples can marry.
Women can vote. All kinds of things
that the world said, "this isn't normal.
This is gonna hurt society,"
and I feel like poly people are at that point,
and someone's gotta do the dirty work, I guess.
How 'bout them padres?
[Chuckles]
It's awkward. Jen is feeling so emotionally bound up
that she can't talk it through.
This has to be one of the worst car rides
I've ever been in.
Jennifer doesn't want to talk.
I'm looking out the window.
Jennifer's looking out the window.
It's just tense for two fucking hours.
It sucks.
When I go to Los Angeles,
I usually stay with one of my lovers.
She happens to be out of town, so we make ourselves at home.
I know it's tense, but I gotta meet the triad right now.
- Okay. - You gotta do
- what you need to do. - Thanks. Yeah.
Is there anything last-minute here before Kamala gets here
- that you're thinking? - Yes.
Maybe we shouldn't get married.
Shut up! [Laughs]
- For shame. - You stress ball.
[Laughter]
- Here she is! - Hi.
[Laughter]
I feel relief when I see Kamala walk in.
Thank you for coming to meet us.
- Hi. - I felt sure
that we were working with the right person.
As you go into this,
what is it you hope and desire to get out of it?
This commitment is to honor and nurture
all four of the relationships.
This is about, you know, one, two, three, four.
Yeah, here's the symbolism that came to mind for that,
- the handfasting ritual 'cause-- - Yeah.
That came from way before christianity.
Go ahead and take-- take his wrist,
and then you reach on through here and you take her wrist.
Oh, yeah! [Laughs]
- That is cool. [Laughs] - And then
with the ribbon, I would do the weaving
as I say, "these are the hands that will hold you
and will support you and--"
- Wonderful. - Oh, I love it.
Kamala suggests this handfasting ritual,
it's beautiful. When we tried it just at the table,
we didn't want to let go.
What you guys are doing is so pioneering.
It really touches me personally right now
because-- well, you met Jen at the party.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
And she's-- she's having a real,
- and we're working on it. - Oh.
They came with me out here
because we didn't have our conflict resolved.
Would you be open to maybe having them witness?
Um--
and-- and if, you know, just think about it,
'cause if not, you know, I'm still totally honored to--
It's in our vows that our love goes beyond us,
and that's why we got into poly in the first place.
I like the idea of, like, poly families supporting
- each other in that way. - Yeah.
They are going through a time of struggle,
and if we can be inspiring or re-centering
in a community that doesn't have a lot of people to rely on,
that seems like a good symbol,
to have Kamala and her pod there.
This is actually a beautiful idea,
that it's like a mutual supporting.
Yeah, it would be so supportive and healing
for me and my family, so that'd be great.
I-- Yeah, I'm totally fine with that.
Thank you.
[Laughs] This has been great, you guys.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
- We'll talk soon. - Bye.
I got goosebumps when she put our hands together.
I liked that a lot.
And I'm really excited about that.
- It's brilliant. - Yeah.
Hey.
Jen?
Hey, lover?
- Hey. - Hey, welcome back.
How are we here?
So it's been a-- like, a silent dinner?
More like a silent dinner. [Laughs]
Well, um, you know, I'm happy to talk about it,
if you guys want.
You know, I feel like
I get that you guys want to talk about it.
I kind of feel a little bit pressured by it.
I'm not sure how I feel about the living situation,
and I feel like I need to sleep on it,
as opposed to continue talking about it.
I just want to leave it.
I'm actually afraid to talk about it.
I'm afraid I might say something that I don't mean,
and it might make everything worse.
How'd it-- how'd it go with the kids?
I actually asked them if I could invite my pod to come,
- and, uh, they said yes. - Wow.
So it's gonna be a good mirror for us,
and it'll give us some perspective.
We're in a hard time right now,
so it's a good time to reflect
on what relationship's all about.
Even though they don even really know us,
they want us at their ceremony?
It feels just a little strange to me.
I'm in.
I-I think it's lovely. I'd love to go.
We're gonna have fun tomorrow.
Will you clasp me?
- Let me see. - You look like
you're feeling better, and--
Did you and Tahl talk at all last night?
No, we haven't, and I'm glad.
Yesterday I was just way too emotional.
Yeah, you know, I know-- I know you've got the anger.
- Yeah. - The truth is,
- if you show anger... - Yeah, it just fucks stuff up.
They-- they just can't-- She can't hear you, you know?
- Yeah. - It's just like head-to-head.
I feel like my hands are tied to some extent.
They're a married couple,
and they have ten years of experience together,
and they're not gonna easily just give up
their ways of communicating, no matter how,
you know, backwards they may seem to me.
Inevitably, that communication, it's gonna have to happen,
or I personally won't live in, uh,
a pod that has a lot of conflict.
- Are we ready to go? Is that-- - Yeah, we're all set,
- other than the fragiles. - Cool.
Officiating a ritual's a huge responsibility.
I'm honored, and I'm torn because I'm still hurt
about my family, and I want to set that aside
so I can show up today and just celebrate.
I think this is them.
They look beautiful.
Hey! [Laughter]
We decided to all wear red.
Red is a color that means a lot to us.
It's a revolutionary color.
It's passionate, it's unafraid.
This is a bold move, and we're gonna wear a bold color for it.
- Are we ready? - Yes.
- Let's do it.
Every aspect of this ceremony is important to me.
In a perfect world,
Vanessa and Anthony and I would all be married together,
but she's not legally allowed to be.
It's a struggle I'm willing to fight for the rest of my life
because I believe in it.
Are we ready to begin?
Vanessa, do you have something to say
to your bride and your groom?
Yes. Anthony and Lindsey, I want you to know,
I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have you in my life.
My commitment to you is above everything--
My commitment to the life that we've built.
Thank you for helping me and teaching me.
Thank you for making us stronger.
Lindsey and Vanessa, since you guys fell in love,
I feel like you've both become better people,
and I hope that I have too.
Go ahead and bring your hands in.
These are the hands that will applaud you
when you've accomplished something,
will hold you in sickness and through hard times,
and these are the hands you'll make love with.
As I unbind you, it's a reminder that you are free.
Now, I'd like to have you read your vows.
All: I promise never to lie or withhold or manipulate,
to sustain forever the thread of communication
in times of joy, in times of pain,
in times of gratitude, and in times of blame.
I vow to commit myself to these people
until the end of time.
So do you, Anthony, Lindsey, and Vanessa
take each other to be life partners?
All: We do! [Laughter]
You may kiss your brides.
[Laughter and cheering]
[Laughs]
Both: All in!
[Cheering and laughter]
At the end of the ceremony, we throw up a bunch of dice.
That represents our willingness to take the risk
of committing ourselves to each other,
to go all in, and not hold anything back.
We're coming to you as one, city!
Oh.
Wow, we did it.
[Laughter]
Whoo!
[Laughter] I'm looking at my partners,
and I'm just like, "I got it all. I win."
[Laughter]
Oh!
I felt totally giddy, excitement,
and like it was the beginning of a new...
[Laughs] Frontier.
I love you. [Kissing]
I love you guys.
Oh, my, it was so beautiful. Thank you, guys!
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
It was so courageous of you guys
to do this for the world.
This lifestyle's going to challenge a lot of people.
My hope is that people say,
"wow, why have I been holding back?"
Love comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes.
- Oh. - I've never seen you
do a ceremony before. It was awesome.
- Mmm. - I'm so glad.
Mm. Thank you.
I was really, really touched by their vows,
especially where they said that they're not gonna lie.
Did you remember that part in the ceremony?
Even though I'm still a little bit angry,
I'm willing to talk about it.
Thank you, sweetie.
I fucked up. I made a mistake.
I just need to be sensitive to her emotional state.
Let's pick up, and we'll head out.
- Okay. - Okay.
Don't look back. Do not look back.
[Laughs] We lost one.
[Laughs]
[Laughter]
Fine, fine, fine, fine. [Laughter]
Originally, the tattoo had our initials in it,
but we changed the design.
Now it's three bands that represent the three of us,
and a red star in the middle,
which is a symbol of revolutionaries.
- That's it? - That's it.
I've just got to bandage you up.
I win!
You win! [Cheering]
I would like to see it become
more a common monogamous practice,
to get these kind of tattoos, because it's all too easy
nowadays to get divorced, right?
And it's all too common too.
Like, this is a great test of your commitment. [Laughs]
Here comes Ness.
I'm really excited.
We're not just in some little, wacky sexual affair,
this is a life commitment.
- Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.
This is for real. This is really, really real.
Really real. As real as real gets.
[Cheering and laughter]
I'm really surprised at how many people
don't know about polyamory and don't seem to understand
that this kind of relationship is pretty common.
- We win! - [Laughs]
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
I'm imagining all the possibilities.
We don't know what's gonna happen to us next. We'll see.
Yay! [Laughs]
- Ah! - We got married.
[Laughter]
When we came back to the house,
I was more open to resolve this situation.
That was just such a beautiful ceremony.
I thought it took a lot of courage
for you guys to come to that, and I was really glad you did.
I saw their love for each other come out,
and it really just made me think.
We've had this relationship for two years,
and we've had so many od times.
It's not worth, you know, throwing away two years
for some misunderstandings, and people make mistakes.
I'm really sorry.
I get that and I get that it's important to you, Tahl,
to have some freedom, and you know I'm--
You know I'm working it.
Jealousy issues come from insecurity and fear.
Shit happens, and we just have to work it out.
I guess what I would be willing to do,
in terms of you sleeping,
is you can sleep with Kamala one night a week,
but you just have to schedule it.
I don't want it to be just a spontaneous thing,
I want to know that it's gonna happen.
Thank you, sweetie.
I really appreciate you taking that next step.
It means a lot. It makes me feel like we're making progress.
It's actually beautiful to see the growth she's made.
This is going in the right direction.
And I-I don't think this mistake's gonna happen again,
- you know? - It won't.
- Yeah. [Laughs] - Promise.
- Wait. - Pinky swear.
You can't say-- That's like-- That--
- Did you see that? - That wasn't what I meant.
- I-- - He said, "I promise."
- "I'll never lie to you again." - Yeah.
And like, and you put it behind your back. [Laughs]
I was-- I was like, "cross my heart and hope to die,
I'll never do it again. I swear."
[Laughter]
I love you. [Laughs]
I love you. Mmm.
I have a little bit stronger feelings about monogamy.
I think it's actually a problem for society as it is right now.
I think it causes misery and unneeded suffering.
Polyamory is an evolved way of thinking.
Ever since Tahl and Jen moved in,
things have been fast and crazy and wonderful
and scary, and it's been a roller coaster.
Bring it on. We can get through anything together.
I'm excited to see what comes.
Polyamory is difficult. I knew that when I decided
to jump into this kind of lifestyle.
What I'm going to agree to is a certain amount of time
to see if this is the right thing.
If it isn't, I'll make that decision then.
I like hearing that.
- Me too. - Me too.
[Instrumental version of On Fire by Andy Blunda]
Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com