"Deep Sea Fishing"
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
(theme song ending)
Boy, what lousy luck.
Everybody on the ocean was catching fish but us.
Yeah, well, Fred,
it's not important how many fish you catch.
It's the sport that counts.
You believe that?
Well, no...
but it helps to say it
when you haven't caught anything
in a couple of days. I see.
Hey, there's a note here from Lucy.
"Ethel and I have gone shopping for beach clothes."
What, again? Beach clothes. Beach clothes.
That's all they think about.
You know something? I think I got an idea
how to keep them from going shopping.
How?
Well, the next time we go fishing,
we'll take the girls with us.
Are you crazy?
The fish aren't biting as it is.
Why antagonize them further?
Take your choice.
You're either going to take Ethel fishing with you,
or you're going to let her run wild in the shops.
Well...
She might easily spend over $100.
Welcome aboard, Ethel.
I thought you'd see it my way.
I'm going to get out of these clothes.
And I'm going to take a little nap.
(shower water running)
Ricky?
It's all right, Ethel.
He's taking a shower. Come on.
Oh, Lucy...
when Fred sees all this stuff I bought, he'll kill me.
Oh...
Oh, now, Ethel, pull yourself together.
Come on. Hey, hide your packages in here.
Can I, honey? Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
I don't know what came over me.
I walked in that store and I saw all those beautiful things
and I just got drunk with power.
I know. I got a little plastered myself.
I spent $68!
Let's see.
That's my clothing allowance for the next eight weeks.
I spent $72!
How many weeks allowance is that for you?
I should live so long!
How are we gonna tell the fellas
we bought all this stuff?
I don't know, but we're gonna have
to break it to them gently.
Whoo!
Hey!
I think I'm getting an idea.
Well, encourage it. I'm desperate!
How's this?
The next time the boys go fishing,
we'll insist on going along.
Oh, Lucy, what are you talking about?
They'll never take us with them.
Exactly. They'll refuse.
So...?
So, we'll say, "Well, if we can't go fishing,
we'll go shopping."
And then when they come back,
we'll show them all those packages,
and they won't be able to say a word about it.
What do you think?
In spite of what I think,
let's do it. Okay.
When are you going to tell them
we're going fishing with them?
I think they're going in the morning.
Let's tell them right now. Go get Fred.
Okay.
Oh, hi, honey.
Hi. How was the fishing? Any luck?
Terrible. Not a bite. Oh...
I think our boat is a yinx.
Oh, ho-ho! Of course your boat isn't a "yinx."
Well, something is wrong someplace.
ETHEL: Come on, come on.
FRED: Oh, man, can't even get a chance to take a nap.
What are you dragging me over here for?
I told you!
Lucy wants to talk to you.
Well, we were just thinking...
You know, uh, Ethel and I aren't getting
the most out of this trip.
After all, how much of Florida
can you see from the inside of a store?
So, we decided that the next time
you go fishing, we'd like to go along.
You want to go fishing with us?
Yeah. Unless, of course, for some reason or other,
you don't want us to go along.
Then I suppose we could spend some more time
in those stale shops.
Oh, no, no! We want you to.
RICKY: Well, I think it's a wonderful idea.
You do?
Yeah!
You don't think it's a wonderful idea,
do you, Fred?
Honeybunch, I think it's swell.
Fred, you know me.
You know how I get on water.
I'll be hungry and thirsty and cranky.
What's your excuse on dry land?
But what husband wants his wife along
on a fishing trip?
We do!
And besides that, it was you who suggested it.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah, so I did.
And I think it's a wonderful suggestion.
You might turn out to be a great fishermen.
Yeah. You might even catch something.
Yeah! I'll bet they-they catch the biggest fish
on the whole trip.
FRED: Right!
I'll bet we could at that.
I'll bet you could, too, honey.
I mean a real bet.
The women against the men.
We'll bet you that we'll catch a bigger fish than you two.
Well, you want to make it interesting?
LUCY: Yeah!
All right. How much you want to bet?
Uh, 68 and, uh...
LUCY: 72, uh...
$140, plus tax.
Huh?
Well, make it 150 even.
That'll be, um, $75 apiece.
Lucy...
Uh, where are you gonna get the money to pay if you lose?
Out of our clothing allowance.
Lucy, could I see you in the hall for a minute?
Now, don't worry, Ethel.
Ricky, you were saying
that your boat was a jinx?
Well, now, just so Ethel and I don't get jinxed, too,
what say we have a boat of our own?
Okay with you, Fred?
Okay? It's perfect.
(chuckling): Well, I'll see that the hotel gets
a different boat for you two in the morning.
Oh, fine. Well, then, it's all settled.
Yup. I'll go get dressed.
And I'll take another crack at that nap.
RICKY: Yes, sir.
Are you out of your mind?
We don't know a thing about fishing!
We won't lose a thing, Ethel.
I have a plan.
Now, look... I'm still recuperating
from your last plan.
Oh, now, Ethel.
Now here's what we're gonna do.
Right after lunch, we're going out
and buy the biggest fish we can find,
and we're gonna have it here for insurance
in case we don't catch anything.
Have it here? Yeah.
Where will we keep it?
In the refrigerator here in the hotel kitchen.
Well, couldn't we get it in the morning?
You know how early they go fishing.
There won't be time.
Now, listen. I remember seeing a pier
not far from here...
(grunting): Oh... careful.
Ooh... oh...
Oh!
You and your hot ideas.
Well, was it-- is it my fault
if the chef didn't have any more room
in the refrigerator? Close the door.
(grunting)
Go ahead, close it.
Okay.
And was it my fault there's a convention here
and he just made 2,000 ice-cream molds
in the shape of a shriner's hat? Oh!
Well, let's put it somewhere.
Moby Dick is getting heavy.
Well, we can't put it anyplace.
We gotta hide it.
Now, we gotta hide it before Little Ricky
comes home from the playground.
I'd hate to have to explain this to him.
Why would you have to explain it?
Isn't he used to having tuna around the house?
Oh, be quiet.
Hold on a minute now.
I'll see if I can get it in this closet.
All right.
Oh, I can't put it in there with the clothes.
Oh, Lucy...
Even if you find a place to hide it,
you can't just keep a dead fish in your room
all night and all day tomorrow!
But we gotta hide it.
We can't let Ricky and Fred see it now.
Oh, great. We got a hot tuna on our hands.
Oh...
Come on.
I know. We'll put it in the bathtub.
In the bathtub?
Yeah. Help me get ahold of this thing.
All right.
We'll pack it in ice cubes.
All right.
Hey, won't Ricky find it in there?
Well, I'll draw the shower doors around the tub.
Okay.
Come on.
All right.
ETHEL: Got it?
LUCY: Oh!
(sighs wearily)
Lucy? What?
What if Ricky wants to take a shower?
One thing at a time.
We'll worry about that when it happens.
Here, let me have it.
Where are the fellas?
They're at the Seaquarium taking publicity pictures.
They'll be gone for hours.
Oh, that's good.
Room service, please.
Room service, this is Mrs. Ricardo in 919.
I'd like some ice cubes, please.
Oh... how many?
About 4,000.
No, I don't need any glasses.
Well, you see, they're... they're for the bathtub.
The bathtub!
I think I'd better come down and explain.
I'll be right down.
Come on, Ethel.
This explanation is gonna take two of us.
Okay.
You and your great ideas.
Buying a hundred-pound tuna
in case we don't catch anything.
I didn't want to take any chance
on losing that 75 bucks.
And you said the chef was gonna keep it
down in the refrigerator.
I still think
he was giving us a song-and-dance.
Whoever heard of ice cream in the shape of a shriner's hat?
Did you see the wild look he gave us?
Yeah. You'd think somebody came to him
with a hundred-pound tuna every five minutes.
Where are we gonna put this beast?
Well, can't we put it in your bathtub?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Oh, my God, watch out, Ricky.
Hey, wait a minute. What?
We can't put it in there.
Why not?
Lucy brings Little Ricky back from the playground,
she gives him a bath, she's sure to find it in there.
(chuckling): Oh, that's great.
Let's put it in your tub.
No, no, no, no, no.
Suppose that Ethel wants to take a bath?
Listen, this was your idea.
You'll think of something. Let's go.
Now, really!
You'd think the Eden Roc Hotel
would have 4,000 ice cubes on hand.
Oh, sure.
All the guests must keep fish in their bathtubs.
I'm going to see how our "guest" is doing.
(thumping sounds)
How is he?
He's resting comfortably.
Never mind. Never mind.
I'll go take a hot bath.
Oh, hi.
Good-good-bye, good-bye, Rick.
Bye.
Hi, dear.
Oh, hi, honey, hi.
How was the Seaquarium?
Fine. Wonderful.
We have to take Little Ricky there sometime.
Oh, yeah, that's good idea.
How was your day?
Fine... fine.
That's good.
Where are you going?
I'm going to take a bath, dear.
Take a bath? In Miami Beach?
Wow, with the whole Atlantic Ocean at your doorstep?
Oh, take a dip. Take a dip, honey.
It's much more refreshing.
No, I don't want to take a dip. I want this bath.
Well, well, look, honey.
Let me draw the water for you.
A wife should do those things
for her husband anyway, don't you think?
While I'm drawing the water for you,
uh, why don't you go in there
and-and find Little Ricky's red swimming trunks.
I promised to take them down to him at the playground.
Would you do that for me?
All right.
(door closes)
(soft thud)
(knock at door)
Ethel? Ethel?
Yeah?
You got a visitor.
Honey, I can't find those swimming...
What are you doing here? Where's Lucy?
I didn't see her.
Wow! That was a close one.
What are you talking about?
The fish. Ethel had the gall to want to take a bath,
and when she went in the dressing room,
I sneaked the fish out of our tub
and stuck him over there in your tub.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
What's the matter?
Ay...
Hi. Where'd you go to?
I had to talk to Ethel for a minute.
RICKY: Oh.
Uh... I couldn't find the trunks.
Oh! He's wearing them.
RICKY: Oh.
Ethel, I thought you were gonna take a bath?
Well, I, uh, I... changed my mind.
I thought you were gonna take a bath, honey.
Yeah, well, uh... I changed my mind.
Oh, well, if you're not gonna bathe, I certainly am.
All right. Oh, wait, honey!
You don't want to take a bath
here in Miami Beach
with the whole Atlantic Ocean at your doorstep.
Take a dip, dear. Take a dip.
I don't want to take a dip. I want to take a bath.
You can't. Why not?
Uh... the, uh, the... the hot-water faucet is broken.
So, I'll take a cold bath.
It will be a terrible shock.
You can say that again.
The-the cold water makes you sick.
It does not make me sick.
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, I got to think of your health, dear.
If you want to take a bath, I insist that you take a bath
over at the Mertzes.
I can't.
Why not?
Yeah. Why not?
Okay, Ethel, let's go.
Honey, you can't take a bath in our tub
with Tillie the tuna in there.
I know it, but I gotta have a bath.
I gotta get this fish off me.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna take an ice-cold shower in our tub.
Oh, fine. How are you gonna explain
to the fellas that our tub is occupied?
I'm not going to explain to the fellas.
I'm going to get rid of them.
And how are you gonna do that?
I have a plan. I have a plan.
Well, I have!
919.
What are you calling your room for?
Now, Ethel, just relax.
I know what I'm doing.
(disguised voice): Mr. Ricardo, this is the manager's office.
The manager would like to have you and Mr. Mertz
come down to the office right away.
Thank you very much.
What do you suppose the manager wanted
to talk to us about?
Oh, probably stuff about the band or something.
FRED: Oh, I see.
Just a minute.
What's the matter with you? Just a minute.
Now, Ethel, everything's working out very nicely.
Oh, just peachy.
You're gonna take an ice-cold shower,
and I've got a hundred-pound fish in my tub.
Now get this through your head, Lucy.
I am not going to keep that sea monster
in my bathtub overnight.
All right, all right.
We'll worry about that after I bathe.
Now you go on back over there and guard that bathroom.
Fred will be back any minute.
(sighs)
Uh...
Ethel?
What?
You sure that fish is in your tub?
Sure I'm sure.
Hmm.
You don't suppose
he could've swum through the pipes
from your tub back to ours, do you?
What are you babbling about?
The fish is in our tub.
Oh, you poor little thing.
I knew if you kept up this mad pace,
sooner or later you'd crack up.
Go see for yourself.
Lucy...
What?
Do you suppose we've both cracked up?
I don't know, Ethel.
Now don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.
Now we're gonna sit down
think this out calmly and rationally.
Yeah. Now look.
Um, we brought the fish up here, didn't we?
Yeah, that's right.
And then who took it over there?
You did.
I did. I took it over there...
Are you sure that was the manager's office that called?
Sure I'm sure.
Oh, you must have misunderstood.
Look, Fred, I may speak with an accent,
but I don't listen with one.
Yeah.
Where are the girls?
Lucy's probably still in the tub.
Honey, I locked myself out of our room.
You got the key?
That's funny.
Lucy?
Isn't Lucy in the tub?
No... but guess who is.
Ethel?
No... but you're getting warmer.
Quit playing games with me. Who's in there?
Is the tuna by any chance a flying fish?
No, no. What are you talking about?
Go in there and look.
Go. Go in there and look.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
Well?
Well, what?
If you put that fish in our tub,
how did it get back into your tub?
Oh, I don't know, but I'm sick and tired
of playing hide-and-seek with that fish.
Well, that makes two of us.
What do you say we just forget
this whole crazy scheme of yours, huh?
I'm with you.
But how are we gonna get rid of our friend in there?
Well, we'll dump him someplace.
There's a big trash can in that service room.
We'll just pick him up and dump him in there.
That way, our hands will be clean.
Smelly but clean.
Well, what are we gonna do now?
Ethel, what say
we get rid of the fish and call the whole thing off?
Oh, now you're talking sense.
But what in the world are we gonna do with it?
I don't know. We'll get rid of it
if we have to get it a room.
Get it a room?!
All right, so we'll dump it down the elevator shaft.
Sheesh!
What are you doing with that fish?
Uh... what fish?
That fish.
Never mind this fish.
What are you doing with that fish?
I asked you first.
Oh, yeah. So you did.
While I'm thinking of an answer,
you tell me what you're doing with yours.
Well, uh... Fred?
What are we doing with this?
Well, I wa... I was...
Well, that's not the point.
Ethel, why did you get that?
Yeah!
Well...
I know what you were gonna do with that fish.
You bought that fish
and you were going to pretend
that you caught it.
What a sneaky thing to do.
Well, you were gonna do the same thing,
so you're just as snicky as we are.
Oh, you started the whole thing.
That's right. I did not start the whole thing.
Yes, you did. Yeah.
What do you I started the whole...
All right, all right, all right.
All right, let's admit it.
We're all guilty, but the bet's still on.
Tomorrow morning we're going fishing,
but we'll all go on the same boat
so there'll be no funny business.
Understand?
Mrs. Ricardo...
what do you want me to do with these 4,000 ice cubes?
Where do you want me to put them?
Four hours and not a bite.
Oh, be patient, Ethel.
Just keep thinking about
all those new clothes we're gonna get.
Hey, Rick, I'd better check my bait.
Daddy, what if I catch the biggest fish?
If you catch the biggest fish, it counts for our side.
Oh, just a minute now.
He's as much my child as he is yours, you know.
The bet was the men against the women.
We get credit for anything he catches.
That's right.
You couldn't have had a girl child.
Oh, no, you had to go and have a boy.
FRED: Hey!
I got a fish on mine.
Hey, how about that?
FRED: Take it off, Rick! Take it off!
(cackling)
Look at it, hey!
(laughing harder)
Oh, come now.
How about that?
Oh, you call that a fish?
Aah, your bait was bigger than that.
FRED: Yeah, well, go ahead and laugh.
Yeah, that's the biggest fish we've caught.
That's the biggest fish that's been caught out here.
That's right. We're going back in 20 minutes.
That's right. So far, that fish wins the bet.
Oh, we still got 20 minutes. Yeah.
I'm going to use one of those live sardines in there.
That's a good idea.
(reel ticks)
Oh, I got a fish!
Oh, you got one? I got a fish!
Put on your brake.
I got a fish! What?
Put on your brake. Hang on to it.
Yeah, I got it. Oh, it's a big one!
Hang on, Mommy.
Whose side are you on?
Oh! Hang on, honey.
Oh, that's a good one.
We're gonna win.
ETHEL: We're gonna to win, Lucy.
Oh, this has got to be the biggest thing
that was ever in the ocean.
Come on. Come on. Yeah.
Come on. Hurry up.
(gasping for air)
Ricky Ricardo!
What have you done with my fish?!
(splutters angrily)
ETHEL: Come on, help him up.
Come on, Rick. Lost my big fish.
Come on. Come on.
Give me your hand.
Oh... Oh...
Give me your hand.
ETHEL: Are you wet?
(straining)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, Rick!
LUCY: Now, now, it's your fault
for getting all tangled up in my line.
It's my fault for getting tangled up with you
15 years ago.
What?!
Let's go back to shore.
Well, now, what about our bet?
We won our bet.
Oh... This little baby
just won papa 75 bucks. Yeah.
Thanks a lot, Lucy.
Well, we can't win 'em all.
(panicked yelling)
What's the matter, Rick?
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with you?!
Let me help...
(yelling)
What is...
How about that?
I caught a fish, too, Fred.
Hey! Hey!
Bigger than yours. Yeah.
That means that we won.
What are you talking about?
Because that fish was on you, and I caught you!
We won! (screaming)
(applause)
(band plays dramatic note to conclusion)
ANNOUNCER: "I Love Lucy", starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
was brought to you by new Lilt,
the only home permanent with squeeze-bottle magic.
The fastest, easiest home permanent ever.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same time.