副總統 第一季第1集
那 呃 還有誰是確定了的 And, uh, who else is confirmed?
Dorsey參議員確定了嗎 Is senator Dorsey confirmed?
- 是的 - 好 - Yes. - Okay.
本來Lucas參議員還是未知數 但現在肯定會來 And senator Lucas was a maybe, but now he's definitely a definitely.
- 噢 那太好了 - 是啊 發表演說後支持者不斷上升 - Oh, that's awfully nice. - Yeah, it's growing as we speak.
很好 去探討冗長辯論改革問題吧 Yeah, okay, let's go talk filibuster reform.
不行 副總統今天日程已經滿了 No, the Vice President does not have a sliver of daylight in her schedule today.
- 再見 Sue 嘿 Mike Mike - 怎麽了 - Bye, Sue. Hey, Mike, Mike. - Yeah?
- 玉米澱粉餐具活動進展如何 - 是的 女士 一切都在線運作 Are we pushing the whole Cornstarch Utensils campaign now? Yes, ma'am
- 各種全面運轉 - 嗯 很好 - The inter-nerds are on it. - Okay, good.
- 見到參議員們後 記得微笑 - 好 你牙上的是罂粟子嗎 And today with the senators, don't forget to smile. Yeah, is that a poppy s
- 有可能 - 嗯 惡 - Oh, probably. - Yeah, ugh.
- 噢 - 什麽 - Oh! - What?
- Bixby參議員會來 - 噢 真好 - Senator Bixby is coming. - Oh, good.
- 太好了 - 女士 這是個叉子 - Great. - Ma'am, this is a fork.
- 要記住他是我們的導遊 - 他是導遊 - And you know that he's our tour guide. - He's the tour guide.
- 對 是的 是的 - 記得吧? - Right, yes, yes, yes. - Remember?
這是最新的玉米澱粉叉子 女士 還有玉米澱粉湯匙 This is the new Cornstarch fork, ma'am. I got the Cornstarch spoon, too.
我們能不能把餐具放一放 Gary Could we maybe table tableware for now, Gary,
- 先搞定冗長辯論改革 - 不不不 Amy 看 - and focus on filibuster reform? - No, no, no, but, Amy, look.
看看它 清潔工作必備 Look at this. This is classic clean jobs stuff.
如果入秋之前我能讓它 入駐大部分聯邦政府大樓 I mean, if I can get Cornstarch Utensils in most federal buildings by the fall,
- 副總統的寶座就坐穩了 - 這也是我們想做的 助您穩居寶座 well, then the VEEP has landed. That is what we are working on, land
- 當然 - 就像只又大又漂亮的老鷹 - Yeah. - Like a big, beautiful eagle.
- 戴圍巾嗎 - 不戴 - You want your scarf? - No.
- 你確定? 這個很漂亮... - 我不想戴 - Are you sure? It looks really pretty... - No, I don't want it.
Reeves參議員怎麽樣了 死了沒 And what about senator Reeves? Is he dead yet?
還沒 他現在主要靠靜脈注射 Not yet. He's mostly intravenous.
身上插滿了管子 就像風笛一樣 He has so many tubes in him, he looks like a set of bagpipes.
- 我幫你拿外套 - 外套不拿了吧? - Let me take your coat. - Want to take your coats?
- 您的眼鏡 - 你覺得怎樣 - Here's your glasses. - What do you think?
戴眼鏡的知識女性形象? Glasses on for the intellectual look?
- 專注力? - 有遠見的女人 - Focused? - A woman with vision.
- 您戴眼鏡很好看 - 不行 眼鏡會削弱我的氣勢 - I like your glasses. - No, glasses make me look weak.
- 嗯 我同意 - 就像是給眼睛的輪椅一樣 - Yeah, I agree. - It's like a wheelchair for the eye.
好了 參議員們 改革開始吧 Okay, senators, let the reforming commence.
- 希望有50到60 - 噢 好 - Amy: We're expecting 50 or 60. - Oh, good.
是這個房間嗎 我們是不是來早了 Is this the right room? Are we early?
- Phil Dorsey參議員 兩點鍾方向 - 我又不是狙擊手 - Senator Phil Dorsey, 2:00. - I'm not a sniper.
- Philip - 副總統女士 歡迎 - Philip. - Ah, Madam Vice President. Welcome.
- 謝謝 還記得我的幕僚長Amy吧 - Amy 很高興見到你 - Thank you. Oh, you remember my chief of staff Amy. - Oh, Amy. It's nice to see
他女兒Emily剛從哈佛畢業 His daughter Emily just graduated from Harvard.
- 告訴我 Emily還好嗎 - 噢 她很好 - Tell me, how is Emily? - Oh, she's good.
- 真好 - 要喝什麽嗎 - Oh, good. - Can I get you something to drink?
- 有咖啡最好了 - 馬上來 - I would love a coffee. - You've got it.
謝謝 爲什麽會這樣 Amy Okay, thank you. What's going on, Amy?
這人數連他媽的獨木舟都填不滿 There aren't enough people to fill a fucking canoe in here.
- 怎麽這樣 - 怎麽了 這是你的問題好吧 - Okay. - What's wrong? That was your bad okay.
怎麽了 Mike Dudley參議員 喜歡地圖 What's wrong? Senator Mike Dudley. He's interested in maps.
- Mike 你找到我們了 - 噢 副總統女士 - Mike, you found us. - Oh, Madam Vice President.
- 這是個地圖笑話嗎 - 是的 - Is that a map joke? - Yes, it is.
不好意思 走開一下 Oh, sorry. Excuse me.
- 好 - 我們來說說這個博客 - Okay. - Let's talk about this blog thing.
- 夥計們 這是怎麽回事 - 我可以解釋 - Guys, what's going on right now? - I can explain that.
- 現在是什麽情況 - Brett Kagan的博文引用了我們的圍脖 What is happening right now? Brett Kagan's blog picked up a tweet from us.
上面說76%政府大樓 Quote, "76% of government buildings
都在用玉米澱粉餐具 我們要做到百分之百 now have Cornstarch Utensils! Let's make it 100!
杜絕塑料餐具 Let's make plastic utensils extinct!"
太好了 我們得罪了塑料行業 Oh, great, we've upset the plastics industry.
這整棟樓都是塑料行業贊助的 This whole building is bankrolled by plastics.
- 所以他們才不來 - 副總統女士 - This is why nobody showed up. - Man: Madam Vice President.
- 我不知道他是誰 - 你好 - I don't know who this man is. - Hello.
Mike 說話 我現在這個房間只有三個人 還有他媽一堆乳蛋餅 Mike, talk to me. I am in a room with three people and a fuckload of q
- Dorsey參議員拿著咖啡來了 - Gary 全場我都能看到 - Okay, here comes Dorsey with your coffee. - Gary, I have large, moving shapes co
- 好 - 知道吧? - Okay. Okay. - Okay?
- 您的咖啡 - 噢 我的咖... - Here's your coffee. - Oh, my co...
- 我去拿 我能搞定 - 好 我們有對策了 - I'll get it. I got it. I got it. - Okay, here's what we do. Here's what we do.
你要去找Hallowes參議員 You should meet with senator Hallowes.
她跟塑料行業的人聯系非常緊密... She is so tight with the plastics people, it's...
你在玩我嗎 這些敢不敢不彎成這樣 Are you kidding? Do these not bend the fuck back?
- 可以 可以 - 我要拿這個幹什麽 - No. No. - What am I supposed to do with this?
我拿著它到處晃 你是這麽准備的嗎 拿走 麻煩你 I'm supposed to eat around corners? Is that how's gonna work? Here, take this, pl
我們可以爲Hallowes 在清潔工作委員會安排位置 We could even give Hallowes a post on your clean jobs commission,
- 討好塑料業 - 這個主意不錯 - keep plastics happy. - That's actually a great idea.
你可以做到嗎 現在聯系Hallowes? Can you do that? Can you do that? Can you get Hallowes now?
當然可以 你可以直接結束這裏 Of course I can. You can just shut it down.
- 好 去 去 - 直接結束 - Yeah. Go, go, go. - Shut it down.
- 你得去周旋 - 周旋? - You should mingle. - Mingle?
- 是 - 什麽 - Yeah. - What?
這麽點兒人你讓我怎麽周旋 How do you suggest that I mingle with this few people?
Simon會跟Garfunkel周旋嗎 (Simon&Garfunkel 著名二人樂隊) Did Simon mingle with Garfunkel?
他們一起工作 可能也會一起交際 Well, they work together. They probably socialized together.
我覺得他們會的 對不 I'm sure they did, right?
副總統女士 嗨 我是Dan Egan Madam Vice President. Hi, I'm Dan Egan.
我是Hallowes參議員的公關經理 I'm director of communications for senator Hallowes.
- 噢 好 - 現任的 - Oh, good. - Currently.
- 我特別支持您的清潔工作計劃 - 謝謝 I just want to say that I'm a huge fan - of the clean jobs initiative. - Oh, thank you.
我說過的 這是個肮髒活兒 可我就是喜歡 Well, you know what I say, it's a dirty job and I love to do it.
- 哈 很好笑 實際我... - Barbara - Ha, that's funny. I actually... - Barbara?
- Selina 嗨 - 嗨 - Selina, hi. - Hi.
- 這是副總統 她通過... - 謝謝 Dan The Vice President, or VEEP, has managed to punch her way through... Thank you, Dan. Yeah.
Barbara 見到你太好了 Barbara, it's so good to see you.
- 很高興見到你 - 我剛錯過了什麽嗎 - It's good to see you. - What have I been missing here?
權力 開玩笑的 Power. I'm kidding!
- 噢 Selina - 了解 了解 - Oh, Selina. - I know. I know.
請給副總統上杯咖啡 Dan Coffee for the Vice President, please, Dan.
你猜怎麽著 我要去找你最喜歡的歐洲産糖精 Guess what? I've managed to get a fresh batch of those European sweeners you like so mu
謝謝 Gary 那個糖精很好 Oh, thanks, Gary. Yeah, they're great sweeteners.
好難吃 They are awful.
其實就是去年我開個北約會議時搞到的 Actually, they're just sweeteners I got at a NATO meeting last year.
它們味道有點... They really taste rather...
呃 不好 Uh, unpleasant.
有點苦 Kind of bitter.
Dan 你爲Hallowes工作順利嗎 So, Dan, are you enjoying working for Hallowes?
不咋地 她就是中等 Not really. She's middle of the road.
不好不壞 在平庸裏面算是中間的 She's mediocre, really. Of all the -ocres, she's the mediest.
我往裏面加水了嗎 這就像個機器人 Do I add water to this machine? It's like a bot.
包不錯 Gary It's a nice bag, Gary.
他叫它利維坦 You know, he calls that "The Leviathan."
呵 你往裏面放了核電碼嗎 哥們 Ooh, you got the nuclear codes in there, buddy?
我要不要往裏面放個小袋還是什麽 Is there a pouch or something that I put into this?
你們還是讓Mike做新聞嗎 You still got that guy Mike in your press shop?
- 是 - 他以前幫Moses做新聞的 是不是 - Yes. - He ran press for Moses, didn't he?
- 天呐 - 你這沒有濃縮咖啡什麽的嗎 - Oh, God. - Is there like an espresso thing?
- 那種一小袋的 - 媽的受不了了 - A little podule or anything? - Jesus fucking Christ.
看我做 自閉君 拿些咖啡豆 All right, look, watch me, autismo. You take the little pod,
放進狗日的洞 關上狗日的蓋子 按他媽兩秒鍾開關 put the little pod in the fucking hole, shut the fucking lid, hit the fucking but
- 噢 好簡單哦親 - 太快了 沒看到 - Oh, it's so easy. - Too quick, I didn't see it.
- 那下次記得在你的操蛋的包裏帶個濃縮咖啡機 Yeah, well, next time pack an espresso machine in your big fuckin' bitch bag.
- 天呐 -Dan好像人不錯 - Oh, my God. - Dan seems nice.
- 他是新來的 - 他很棒 - He's new. - Oh, he is great.
很忠誠 我從一個俄亥俄女參議員那聘來的 Very loyal. I got him from an Ohio congresswoman.
他在和我女兒戀愛 You know, he's dating my daughter.
- 真的假的 Janet? - 不是 - You're kidding. Janet? - No.
肯定不是 天呐 對不起 Of course not. Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
我是說 呃 Carol Carol I meant, um, Carol. Carol.
- 孩子們怎麽樣 - 嗯 她很好 - How are your kids? - Uh, she's good.
- 好嘛 - 很好 很好
- 我知道你很忙 - 非常忙 - I understand you're busy. - I am.
不過我想跟你談談 But I wanted to talk to you about
即將出台的清潔工作委員會 coming on board the clean jobs commission.
要塑料行業不再嘲弄你? 不行 對不起 Selina 這樣我很難做 To get plastics off your back? No, sorry, Selina. That would be bad for
拜托 他們不會因爲這個撤資的 Oh, come on. They're not gonna pull funding over this.
甜心 塑料是什麽做的 你得罪塑料業就是得罪石油業 Honey, what is plastics made of? You piss off plastics, you piss off oil.
你不會想開罪他們的 因爲後果很嚴重 And you do not want to fuck with those guys because they fuck in a very unpleasant fashion.
Barbara 你真的願意出賣自己人格嗎 Barbara, are you really willing to sell your soul
就爲了這些做牙刷的 還...還... to the guys who make toothbrushes and... and... and... and...
還有牙刷柄的 and the holders for toothbrushes?
對 他們還資助了你的清潔工作委員會成員 Yeah, they're the guys who fund the members of your clean jobs commission.
我可以給你畫個表 不過肯定會畫得很簡單的 I could draw you a diagram, but it would be a very simple diagram.
我看得懂幾何 好吧 Barbara Oh, I can handle geometry, Barbara, all right?
- 好了 我要走了 - 當然 我也有... - Come on, I've got to get going. - Yes, well, I have...
很多日程 a ton on my agenda as well.
剛有消息 Reeves參議員剛過世了 Watch this. Uh, senator Reeves just died.
- 噢 - Rapey Reeves - Oh. - Rapey Reeves.
他是第一個歡迎我進國會的參議員 知道嗎 He was the first senator to welcome me to the Capitol, you know?
那時他就很老了 He was old even then.
- 他是不是充滿了智慧? - 他充滿了酒氣 - Was he full of wisdom? - He was full of bourbon.
他還抓了我左邊乳房 And he grabbed my left tit.
- 記得吧 - 願他安息 - Remember that? - And God rest his soul.
嘿 你炒了那個寫博客的沒 Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet?
他就是個武器級的絆腳石 Because that guy is a weapons-grade retard.
- 我覺得你已經被自己的絆腳石絆住了 - 很不錯 I think you might have been hoist by your own retard there. That's a good one.
自己的絆腳石 不錯 Your own retard. Nice.
- 樓下見 - 是 - See you downstairs. - Yeah.
- 很榮幸見到你 女士 - 謝謝 Dan - Honor to have met you, madam. - Oh, thank you, Dan.
- 你初選的時候太棒了 - 噢 真好 謝謝你 I really admired your primaries campaign. Oh, how nice. Thank you very much.
- 兩處有待改善 - 兩處? 真的假的 哪兩處 Two things I would have done differently. Two things? Oh, no kidding. What were they?
你在新罕布什爾上耗太久 本來就是囊中物 I think you spent too much time in new Hampshire. That was in the bag.
俄勒岡的攻擊廣告早出了四天 不該刻薄的時候刻薄了 And the attack ads in Oregon came up four days too soon, made you seem mean
不過 你還是占上風的 你勝算還大 But, I mean, hey, you're the old pro here. You're the pro.
我會記住的 Well, I'll keep that in mind.
參議員會議的事我很遺憾 Mike: Sorry about the Senate meeting.
那就像是爲無家可歸的人准備的葬禮 Yeah, it was like a funeral for a homeless guy.
- Hallowes怎麽樣 - 就跟平常一樣 - How was Hallowes? - Oh, you know, the usual.
Selina 嗨 我在融化 我在融化 "Selina, hi. I'm melting. I'm melting."
她就是個婊子 She is such a fucking bitch.
今天3:30的記者致電 對于塑料産業的事 你想我怎麽回應 So today at the 3:30 press call, what do you want me to say about plastics
- 我覺得最好是能安撫... - 哇哦 - I think our best agenda is to reassure... - Whoa.
- 我知道 不要告訴我 - 什麽 - I know. Don't tell me. - What?
如果我是真不知道 那群混蛋也不能 從我嘴裏套到什麽 If I genuinely don't know, then those bastards can't make me tell them.
你知道我的座右銘 "我不想知道" 要是有問座右銘是什麽 我就說沒有 You know my motto, "I don't want to know." Anyways,
嘿 Sue 總統打了電話沒 Hey, Sue. Did the president call?
- 沒有 - 沒有 - No. - No.
嘿 Sue 裙子真好看 Hey, Sue, that is a lovely dress.
- 謝謝 Gary 副總統女士 - 怎麽 - Thank you, Gary. Madam Vice President. - Yeah?
我們要重新同步您的手機 We're gonna need to resync your BlackBerry.
- 好 - 那些日志被動手腳了 - Okay. - The diary's been violated.
女士 您的咖啡 很燙 Ma'am, here's your coffee. It's really hot.
可以就放在那兒嗎 噢 Gary 呃... Can you put it down right there? Oh, Gary. Um...
噢 天呐 我剛想說什麽來著 Oh. Oh, my God, what was I just gonna say?
不知道 一下子想不起來了 I don't know. It just went out of my head.
- 待會再說 - 好 - It'll come to me later. - Okay.
白宮的Jonah過來了 And Jonah is here from the White House.
我告訴他你沒空 但是 如你所見 他無視我了 連帶你一起 I told him you were too busy to see him, but, as you see, he ignored me a
- 嗨 - 噢 副總統女士 - Hi. - Oh, Madam Vice President.
關門 邊出邊關 快點 快點 Close the door. On your way out, close it. Quickly. Quick, quick.
- 快 快 萬能的主啊 - 不行 Quick, quick. God Almighty. No.
你看了維基百科沒 他們又改了她體重嗎 You, did you check the Wikipedia? Did they change her weight again?
- 老是有人入侵系統改她的體重 - 噢 Jonah Somebody keeps hacking into the site and changing her weight. Oh, Jonah.
市區有家不錯的意大利餐廳開業了 Amy Good new Italian place opened up downtown, Amy.
- 喜歡意大利菜嗎 - 超級愛 Jonah - You like Italian? - I love Italian, Jonah,
不幸的是 我還是一如既往嫌棄你 but still, unfortunately, really dislike you.
我沒有要約你出去 我也不想你因爲 Oh, I wasn't asking you out. I don't want you to think
我沒約你而留下永久的傷痛 that was a burn because I wasn't asking you out.
嘿 你是那個"我的左腳"(電影) Hey, it's the guy from "My Left Foot."
Jonah 你今天跟總統交談了幾次 Jonah, how many times have you talked to the president today?
你想知道嗎 Oh, you want to know?
是的 因爲你得把它記到冰箱的星形圖上去 Yeah, 'cause you need to put it up on that star chart on your refrigerator.
- 他今天跟我說了四次話 - 四次? - He actually spoke to me four times today. - Four?
簡報室 N.S.C.會議 走廊有兩次 Briefing room, N.S.C. meeting, hallway twice.
他每次是不是說 有沒有人把這狗娘養的給我趕開? And in each of those did he say, "Someone get this freak the fuck away from me"
嗨 Jonah 上面有什麽新聞 Hi, Jonah. What's the news from the mountaintop?
- 白宮想... - 等等 - The White House would like... - Hang on just a second.
可以幫我記一下嗎 Can you do me there?
- 記著呢 - 繼續 - Doing you. - What?
白宮想要你替總統出席下午六點的 S.R.V.A.募捐活動 The White House would like you to atend at 6:00 P.M. S.R.V.A. Fund-raiser tonigh
- 哦 不 我不去 - 日程上沒有 - Oh, no, that's not gonna happen. - Not on the schedule.
總統不想回答那些政府財政賬單問題 The POTUS doesn't want to get hit with questions on the fiscal responsibility bill.
- 嗯 - 但他們明顯不會問你 因爲你沒... - Uh-huh. - Obviously they won't ask you guys because you have no...
呃 你剛分管了其他領域 um, you just have other areas of expertise.
對 清潔工作 也門 火星任務 Yeah, clean jobs, Yemen, mission to Mars.
我不會去 今晚很忙 Yeah, it's not gonna happen. I'm busy tonight.
我們要爲清潔工作委員會定位 Yeah, we're positioning ourselves right now with the clean jobs commission.
但是美利堅合衆國總統 But the President of the United States of America
- 很熱心地... - 嗯 - is very keen... - Uh-huh.
將你的出席列入今晚募捐活動的 That your going to the fund-raiser should be fundamentally the sequence of events
基本流程 that does actually take place this evening.
- 我會打電話 - 謝謝 I will make a call. Thank you.
而且我希望你對我說話時注意聲調 And I'd like you to watch your tone with me.
- 我會注意的 - 好 - I will watch my tone. - Yeah.
Mike 你也要去 好吧 今晚不能回家遛狗 And, Mike, you need to be there, too, okay? So no going home to walk your dog.
輪不到你對我說教 見鬼的天才小醫生 Uh, don't tell me what to do, Doogie Fucking Howser.
我聽不懂你說什麽 I don't know what that means.
- 還有那個左腳什麽 - 那電影不錯 - Or your "left foot" thing. - Great movie.
- 好 我要回白宮了 - 聽到這兩個字我就硬了 Okay, well, I'm going to go back to the White House. That address makes me hard.
吻你 想你 Kiss you, miss you.
嘿 Mike Hey, Mike.
你覺得我們競選中的兩大失誤是什麽 What would you say were the two biggest campaign mistakes that we made?
你老是一臉衰相 還有那帽子 You looked tired a lot and the hat.
- 我喜歡那帽子 你亂說什麽 - 我們因爲帽子吃虧了 I liked the hat. What are you talking about? The hat hurt us.
那帽子讓你頭型變得很奇怪 就這些 Your head looked weird in the hat, that's all I'm gonna say.
那好... 你覺得Dan怎樣 Okay... What do you think of Dan?
噢 Dan就是坨屎 Oh, Dan is a shit.
你要不要具體一點 You want to expand on that?
可以 他是坨又大又純的屎 Sure. He's a massive and total shit.
你第一眼看他的時候會想這個人肯定 When you first meet him, you think surely to God
不會像他外表一樣衰 this man can't be as big a shit as he seems,
但實際他就是衰 but he is.
- 其實 我... - 因爲 就像這裏有本書 - See, I... - 'Cause like if there were a book
封面是屎做的 你會想 真有趣 with covers made of shit, you'd think, "That's intriguing.
什麽書會讓人想到用純屎做封面 I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit."
然後你翻開它發現... 是屎 And then you open it and... shit.
非常感謝 Thank you so much. Yes.
你好嗎 我看到你了 也看到你了 How are you? I see you. I see you.
Clements參議員在那兒 你得去跟她聊聊 There's congresswoman Clements, you should speak with her.
她有點小胡子 會分散注意 She's got a small mustache. It's a little disturbing.
- 不要盯著看 知道嗎 - 嗯 - Don't stare at it, okay? - Oh. Mm-hmm.
領獎台太高了 The podium is definitely too high.
- 墊一下 Gary 幫我墊個什麽 - 噢 好 好 - Box me, Gary. Box me. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
這裏用什麽餐具 玉米澱粉的還是塑料的 What is the utensil situation? Is it Cornstarch or plastic here?
離它們遠點 餐具有政治意義了 Stay away from both. The utensils are politicized.
你可以拿芹菜鏟吃的 You could use celery as a kind of shovel.
你居然跟老板女兒談戀愛 I cannot believe you are dating your boss's daughter.
她風趣又性感 還能輔助我的事業 She's fun, she's sexy. She can advance my career.
- 我很喜歡她 - 那才是真相 - I really like her. - That's the one.
- 她很好 - 那才是真相 - She's great. - That's the one.
我們要探討下副總統發言內容 好吧 We need to talk about the V.P.'S speech, okay?
- 什麽 - 我能... - What? - Can I just...
- 別他媽搶我東西 - 謝謝 - Don't grab my shit. - Thank you.
白宮方面說我們要草擬絕大部分 明白嗎 White House says we need to majorly redact this, okay?
我來草擬你的驢臉 I'll redact your fucking face.
白宮不希望明天報紙上出現石油 知道吧 The White House does not want anything in the papers tomorrow about oil, okay?
- 什麽 - 或者塑料 - What? - Or plastics.
- 不能提玉米澱粉 - 她本來就是主管綠色産業的 - Nothing about Cornstarch. - Her whole position is green jobs.
又不是我要這樣 做就對了 Is doesn't come from me, okay, so just do it.
你樂在其中 樂在其中 You love this. You love this.
我也沒想否認沒有樂在其中 I'm not gonna say I don't enjoy it.
女士們先生們 今晚 Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you all
我要歡迎並感謝你們的到來 here tonight and thank you for coming.
- 嗨 Selina - 嘿 - Hi, Selina. - Hey.
- 演講只改了一點點 - 改了哪兒 - Just a small change in the speech. - What is that?
塑料業顯然已經找過總統了 Plastics apparently talked to the president.
白宮方面不想我們提到石油 玉米澱粉或者是塑料 The White House doesn't want us mentioning oil or Cornstarch or plastic.
略過就可以了 Just wing it.
全部被鉛筆幹了一遍嗎 This has been pencil-fucked completely?
呃 對 前後夾攻 幾乎沒前戲 Uh, yes, front and back. Very little romance.
幾乎劃完了 好吧 That's the entire speech, okay?
這裏還剩什麽 我還有大家好 和... 介詞 What's left here? I've got "hello" and I have... Preposions.
你可以談下你的船 Well, you could talk about your boat.
- 或者類似的 - 也好 說下那艘船 - Or something like that. - Sure, talk about the boat.
Gary 說真的 你能閉10秒鍾嘴嗎 Gary, seriously, can you just shut up for 10 seconds?
看不清你在寫什麽 Okay, now I can't read what you're writing.
放輕松 參議員投票改革是你的強項 說那個 就安全了 Relax, you're really good at Senate vote reform. Hit that one. That's a hom
那是你的門面 還可以說高跟鞋笑話 That's your "Sergeant Pepper's." We can also use my kitten heels gag.
- 行 那個好笑嗎 - 不好笑 - All right. Is that funny? - No.
對他們足夠了 It's funny enough for these people.
- 主要看動詞 - 謝謝 我知道了 - Hit the verbs. - Thank you, I've got it.
沒事 我做得到 我不...不知道那是什麽 It's fine, I can do it. I can't... I don't know what that is.
讓我們歡迎副總統Selina Meyer Please welcome Vice President Selina Meyer.
- 一舉奪錢 - 沒多少的 - Go for the money. - It's just pennies.
女士們先生們 尊貴的來賓們 Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests,
相信你們已經知曉 as I'm sure you're aware,
今晚由我履行總統的職責 I have stepped into the president's shoes this evening,
還有... and, uh...
誰能想到他還穿矮跟呢 Who knew he wore kitten heels?
當然不穿 Selina: No, he of course doesn't.
他更像是那種穿恨天高的人 He's more of a stilettos kind of guy.
言歸正傳 All kidding aside,
今晚有人提醒了我 I am reminded tonight
已故參議員David Reeves of the late senator David Reeves.
他死了 He died.
他現在死了 He's... he's dead now.
我記得親愛的David And I remember dear David
與我和總統談過 talking to the president and myself
就一項單獨的法案 about the absurdity of allowing
進行多重阻撓的荒謬 multiple filibusters on a single bill.
還有... And...
政治無外乎人民 Politics is about people.
無外乎人民 It's about people.
你們會在推特上談這些事嗎 - Uh... - Is your guy gonna be tweeting about this?
這麽說吧 Sam Okay, well, let me put it this way, Sam,
那個人已經付不了他的Iphone合約了 that guy is no longer in a position to pay his iPhone contract.
那是因爲Mike McClintock 把他扔進了波托馬克河 That's because Mike McClintock there threw him into the Potomac River.
天啊 看樣子因爲那條玉米澱粉推特 我們被自己的拖沓給害了 Oh, boy. It seems with that Cornstarch tweet, we were hoist by our
接下來... Uh, so...
我知道 我知道 我知道我說的是什麽 I know. I know. I know what I said.
用了"拖沓"這個詞 It's the use of the word "retard."
- 不是 - 但這是個笑話 是個笑話 - It's just not... - But it was joke. It was joke.
然後世界就安靜了 And then everything went silent.
請允許我說句話 我覺得你有必要盡快就此事道歉 If I could, I think it would behoove you to make an apology
我可以給你辦公室找一個 as soon as possible, in which case I can get someone in your office
適當的心理健康慈善機構的人... from an appropriate mental health charity...
這個漂亮的小夥子是誰 這個漂亮的小夥子是誰 Who the fuck is pretty boy? Who the fuck is pretty boy?
明天會上報紙的 Look, it's going to be in the papers tomorrow.
沒有必要 沒必要大驚小怪的 Not necessarily. Let's not make it the story and panic, okay?
- 如果Tom Hanks死了呢 - 什麽 - What if Tom Hanks dies? - What?
- 想法真陰暗啊 - 我可不希望如此 - What a dark thought. - I'm not wishing that.
我是說什麽事都有可能發生 Tom Hanks死了 在洛杉矶發生森林大火 I'm saying anything could happen... Tom Hanks could die, there
你是怎麽得到這份工作的 你真的想把 你的公關策略定位在找出Tom Hanks什麽時候會... How did you get this job? You really
- 有人是要來搞笑嗎 - 看樣子是 - Did someone order a dick-o-gram here? - Amy: Yes, seemingly.
我們能不在貯藏室裏運籌帷幄嗎 Can we not strategize in a closet?
好吧 我們要做的是慢慢走到車裏 好嗎 All right, what we're gonna do is we're gonna walk slowly to the car, okay?
但你們要圍著我 煞有介事 But you guys surround me, very purposeful.
- 像人肉車隊 - 沒錯 - Like a human motorcade. - Exactly.
- 我們在討論重要的事情 - 就像教皇 - We're discussing important things. - Like the pope.
- 拜托 - 走吧 - Come on. - Mike: Let's just roll.
- 微笑 要微笑 微笑 - 幹得好 - And smile, though. Smile, smile. - Wonderful job.
微笑 我們要談這事 Smiling. And we're gonna talk about that.
不夠 再來 再來 圍住 It's not enough of a motor... surround me more, though. Surround it.
圍著我 好的 好的 - Surround me. - Okay, I've got it. I've got it.
我得把簾掀起來因爲靜電會吸引灰塵 I need to keep these off your jacket 'cause the static attracts and retains dirt.
謝謝 Gary 讓物理變得有趣起來了 Selina: Thank you, Gary. Making physics fun.
我們每耽誤一分鍾 拖沓就上升一個字號 Every minute that we delay, "Retard" goes up a font size.
那開始工作吧 Amy: Well, then start the process.
- Mike 我們需要你值夜班 - 不 不行 我養狗了 Mike, we're gonna have to have you pull an all-nighter. No, I can't. I've got the dog.
好吧 聽著 Mike 你回家 Okay, listen. Mike, you go home.
喂狗 遛狗 Feed the dog. Walk the dog.
開槍把狗打死 埋了它 Shoot the dog. Bury the dog.
- 然後回來 好嗎 - 狗自己能行 - And then come back in, okay? - The dog will be fine.
她一直想表現風趣幽默 She was trying to be funny.
我知道 可她不風趣 我當然知道 I know. She's not funny. Of course I know that.
不 不 不 那個她也沒不行 不要 No, no, no. She won't be available for that, either. No.
我不能再拒絕你 我只好... I can't say no to you again, so I'm just going to...
早晨好 Good morning.
看過這個嗎 Seen this?
所有人都看過了嗎 好好看過了嗎 Everybody seen it? Everybody got a good look?
華盛頓郵報時尚版的頭版 Front page of the style section of the "Washington Post."
你是首席聯絡官 對嗎 You're the head of communications, is that correct?
- 是的 女士 - 把襯衣塞進去 - Yes, ma'am. - Tuck your shirt in.
好嗎 你的老二在褲子外邊晃悠 Okay? Your dick is hanging out of your pants.
Sue 總統打電話來了嗎 Sue, did the president call?
- 沒有 - 沒有 - No. - No.
- 嘿 大家好 - 天啊 - Hey, everyone. - Oh, God.
今天早晨要應付什麽爛攤子 Hey, what colossal fuckup are we dealing with this morning?
副總統把最後的雪豹幹死了嗎 Did the VEEP kill the last remaining snow leopard?
- 她用燃燒彈炸收容所了嗎 - 我沒時間無視你 Jonah Did she firebomb a hospice? I don't have time to ignore you, Jonah.
Gary 幫我無視Jonah好嗎 Gary, could you please ignore Jonah for me?
- 你想怎麽樣 Jonah - 我有一張慰問卡 給Reeves參議員的遺孀 - What do you want, Jonah? - I have a condolence card for senator Reeve
總統簽了 需要副總統簽字 POTUS has signed, the VPOTUS needs to sign.
- 然後我要把這個帶到國會山 - 你說得好像是遞交人權法案 And then I'm gonna take this to the Hill, okay? You talk as if you'
- 注意 - 帥哥 做什麽呢 - Look alive, gang. - Hey, good-looking. What you got cooking?
老二派? Dickwad pie?
Amy 這位是Paul Burton Amy, this is Paul Burton. He's the chair
他是成人智障患者基金會的主席 of the American Foundation for Adult Mental Disabilities.
- 你好 - 很高興見到你 我是Amy - Hi. How are you? - Hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Amy.
Burton先生 很高興你能來我的辦公室 Mr. Burton, love to bring you into my office.
- 謝謝 - 你知道我有自己的旗嗎 - Thank you. - Did you know that I have my own flag?
女士 有一張給Reeves參議員遺孀的慰問卡 Ma'am, I have a condolence card here for senator Reeves' widow.
Amy 你能... Oh, Amy, can you...
- Gary 兩杯咖啡 - 好的 - Gary, we are going to need two coffees. - Okay.
- 不應該是三杯嗎 - 兩杯就行了 - Shouldn't that be three? - Two is good.
夥計們 有個男人死了 Uh, guys, a man is dead.
如果一個性騷擾犯死了 我們給他妻子一張簽了名的卡片 When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card.
華盛頓風格一向如此 Okay? That's how Washington works.
- 我來簽 - 好 謝謝 - I will sign it. - Fine, thank you.
她教我這麽簽她名字的 That was her telling me to sign her name.
如果她想簽你的名字 她會這樣 If she'd wanted me to sign your name, she would have done this...
我不懂 That didn't get me.
我是說 我錯誤判斷了一些事 起碼我會說我開錯了玩笑 Selina: I mean, I misjudged things. Fundamentally, I would say I misjoked.
我是說 如果我們真的要... I mean, if we were gonna really be...
腹黑高鳥人 Ha-ha! Tall, dark and tiresome,
你得滾回到老板腳下去了 you need to get back to your boss's corner.
Hallowes也中槍了 有博客爆料稱 Hallowes is on the ropes. She was reported by the blog
已故參議員Reeves和她有過一段不倫性史 saying that the late senator Reeves had a history of sexual misconduct.
知道嗎 我不爲Hallowes參議員工作了 Yeah, well, you know what? I don't work for senator Hallowes.
我一個小時前辭職的 I resigned just about an hour ago.
- 開什麽玩笑 - 就在我泄密了那個故事以後 - Are you kidding me? - Yeah, right after I leaked that story.
- 你在謀劃什麽 - 什麽 - What are you planning? - What?
- 什麽 - 什麽 - What? - What?
你能盯著他嗎 Can you please keep your eye on him, please?
- 因爲這太扯淡了 - 好的 - 'Cause this is shady shit. - Okay.
好的 Mike 我們這麽做 All right, Mike, here's what we do, okay?
11點半的時候 你說Hallowes參議員 不僅汙辱了已故參議員Reeves At the 11:30, you say that senator Hallowes not only insulted the la
而且她 不 等等 要加重語氣 她鼓勵 but that she also encouraged... no, wait, strike that... she goaded
她煽動副總統在笑話中用拖沓這個詞 the V.P. into using the word retard in a joke.
知道我在做什麽了嗎 Halowes參議員要爲拖沓門負責 See what I'm doing? Senator Hallowes is responsible for retardgate.
你是那種故作聰明的人嗎 Are you like a guy trying to be clever?
因爲看起來像 'Cause you seem like a guy who thinks he's being clever.
好好看看我 Take a good look at me okay?
問問你自己 Mike Now ask yourself something, Mike.
你眼前的這個人 Is the man you're looking at
在未來的一年內會當你的老板還是手下? gonna be in a position a year from now working above you or below you?
很多年前你有的是躊躇滿志 'Cause all ambition you had left your body a long time ago
在未來10年的工作生涯中 你所有的只是 and now all you've got left in the last 10 remaining years of your working life
潮濕的公寓 冰冷的蟹餅 還有一只隱形的狗 is a damp apartment, cold crab cakes, and an invisible fucking dog.
你到底想不想照這個計劃執行 好好算算 哥們 Do you want to follow this plan or not? Make a calculation, buddy.
你獲得工科學士學位的時候 沒學過怎麽寫新聞報道嗎 In your poly-sci B.A., did you ever learn how to write a press release?
我想我聽說過 I think I might have heard of that.
- 我會教你 - 好的 - Let me teach you. - Okay.
Jonah走了嗎 Did Jonah leave?
- 他拿著慰問卡走了嗎 - 是 他剛走 Is he gone with that condolence card? Yeah, he just left.
我想我簽了我的名字 'Cause I think that I signed my name.
- 什麽 - 不是Selina的名字 我的名字 - What? - Not Selina's name, my name.
好吧 好吧 等等 Okay, whoa, whoa. Okay, wait.
從1到10的肯定程度依次增加 你有多肯定 How sure are you on a scale of one to 10? Like one is the...
我知道這範圍什麽意思 Gary Yeah, yeah, I can work out how the fucking scale will go, Gary.
- 呃...9 - 那就差不多是10了 - Uh, nine. - That's almost a full 10.
- 是 我簽了我名字 - 父親啊 - Yeah, I signed my name. - Oh, father.
看上去好像副總統根本不屑 It's gonna look like the VEEP couldn't be bothered to sign
給國會最受尊重的變態簽慰問卡一樣 a condolence card for one of the most respected perverts in the Senate.
如果我在寫回憶錄 其實沒寫 If I were writing a memoir, which I'm not,
但如果我寫 這可是個大時刻 but if I were, whew, this would be a big moment.
不能讓人知道 No one can know about this.
不能讓她知道 - She cannot know about this. - Duh.
不 不 Gary Gary 你在做什麽 - No, no, no, Gary! - Gary, what are you doing?
真的很抱歉 我要和你說點事 Gary: So sorry. I just need to tell you somethg.
搞毛啊 Amy What the fuck, Amy?
我在裏面想把兩把火滅了 I am putting out two fires in there,
然後轉過頭發現 and I turn around to find out that you have set fire
你把消防車點著了 to the fucking fire truck.
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
這個辦公室裏人員的不稱職程度 簡直到了天理不容的地步 The level of incompetence in this office is staggering.
我們會把卡拿回來換張新的 We are going to get the card back and replace it with a new one.
- 對 沒錯 - 很簡單的 - Yeah, that's right. - Simple.
你去辦 You're gonna get on it.
把這個搞定 好嗎 You are going to shut this the fuck down, okay?
因爲我忙著跟倒黴的拖沓 Because I am busy in there apologizing to that...
道歉 Fucktard.
天啊 好吧 God! Okay. It's fine.
Burton先生 我很抱歉 Mr. Burton. I am so sorry.
今天真是狀況百出 We're having a complicated day here.
我不太想開這個新聞發布會 I'm not happy about having to give this press briefing.
當然 您的幸福與否是我的首要任務 Yeah, and of course your happiness is top of my agenda,
遠遠高于氣候問題和買賣兒童 right above climate control and child trafficking.
天啊 會不會發展成狗血情節 我們墜入愛河然後開始亂搞 Oh, my gosh, is this gonna become like "Moonlighting" where we fall in
Gary要去Jonah的辦公室 Amy: Gary is going to go to Jonah's office
然後神不知鬼不覺地把卡拿回來 and somewhat surreptitiously get the card back.
我沒穿大衣 我得把卡藏起來 我大衣上有咖啡 Well, I don't have a coat. I need to hide the card. There's coffee on my coat.
- 你可以借我的大衣 - 謝謝 Sue 謝謝 Sue Sue: You can borrow my coat. Thank you, Sue. Thank you, Sue.
- 謝謝 Sue - 解決辦法 Sue - Thanks, Sue. - Solution, Sue.
- 當然有解決辦法 - 謝謝 - Of course. There's some solutions. - Thank you.
謝謝 你真好 Thank you so much. That was really kind of you.
首先你要把帽子摘了 First of all, you should put the hood down.
我沒打算把帽子戴上 I wasn't going to put the hood up.
祝你好運 Gary 我相信你還是能幹好的 Well, good luck, Gary. I am convinced that you can probably do this.
謝謝 Thank you.
用我通知他們你要來嗎 Want me to ring through, tell them you're coming?
- 不 天啊 - 好吧 一個笑話 - No, my God! - Okay, okay, a joke.
點燃了現場的情緒 Hello. Lightening the mood here.
- 天啊 - Amy 想個B計劃吧 - Oh, my God. - Amy, come up with a plan B.
好吧 因爲... Okay? 'Cause...
Gary Gary?
Jonah Jonah.
你是來偷那張錯簽的卡嗎 Are you here to steal the incorrectly-signed card?
- 拜托 不是 - 這場面看上去真的很糟 - Come on, no. - This looks really bad.
- 不糟 - Gary 我是你朋友 - It's not bad. - Gary, I'm a friend of yours.
我覺得你不是 I don't think you are.
- 根本不是 - 我開玩笑呢 - At all. - I'm just kidding.
Gary 放松好嗎 我會把卡給你 Gary, loosen up, okay? I'm gonna give you the card, all right?
- 好嗎 說實話 我有點害怕 - 是啊 是啊 Alright. To be honest, I was a little scared. Yeah, yeah.
- 給你 - 謝謝 - There it is. - Thank you.
- 只是真的 - 好吧 - It's just really... - Okay.
- 抱歉 - 說條件吧 - I'm sorry. - Let's just get to the bad part.
說吧 因爲我知道你有條件 Let's just get to the bad part 'cause I know you got one.
我不喜歡這種緊張氣氛 I don't like tension. I got acid reflux. Let's get to the bad part.
我想今晚和Amy約會 I want Amy to go on a date with me tonight.
好吧 好吧 好吧 這不可能 Okay, okay, okay. That's impossible.
別擔心 好嗎 我們不會上床 Don't worry about it, okay? We're not gonna have sex, all right?
- 因爲她恨我 - 好吧 - Because she hates me. - Okay. Uh-huh.
- 但Amy是個8分 - 好吧 - But Amy's an eight. - Okay.
如果所有我想與之發生關系的8分 知道我能把到一個8分 And if all the other eights that I do want to have sex with see that I am
那我很快就能和一個8分上床了 then I'm going to be having sex with an eight very soon.
這是實習季 Gary It is intern season, Gary.
你看我像拉皮條的嗎 Do I look like a pimp to you?
你看起來就是個拉皮條的 You look exactly like a pimp.
Dan 等著掉餡餅呢 Dan, waiting for some crumbs to fall?
- 去死 - 不 - Fuck off. - Sue: Uh, no.
我得和她談一下 Got to talk to her for one moment, please.
- 她現在真的很忙 - 真的 一秒鍾的事 No, she's actually really burdened right now with a bunch of... Sue, it'll take one second, lite
- Mike 她在轉圈呢 - 好吧 我再來 - Mike, she's spinning. - Oh, okay. I'll come back.
- 嘿 小南瓜 什麽事 - 你怎麽還在這兒 Hey, what's up, pumpkin? What the fuck are you still doing here?
- 副總統讓我來的 - 好吧 Vice President asked me to stop by. Right.
加油 Gary 加油 加油 Gary Go, Gary. Go, go, go, Gary.
- 加油 Gary - 幹得好 - Go, Gary. - Well done, buddy.
- 不 你 - 是的 - No, you didn't. - Yes.
- 拿到了 - 是的 - You got it? - Yes, I did.
哇 Gary 你幹得好 Wow, Gary. Good for you.
很好 抱歉 Good for... oh. Excuse me.
- 嘿 很好 - 是的 雖然我和Jonah做了交易 Hey, all right. Yeah, although I did have to make a deal with Jonah.
Amy今晚要和他約會 Amy's got to go on a date with him tonight.
不 不行 Oh, no, she's not.
他不想和你上床 只想晚飯和電影 Well, he doesn't want to have sex with you. He just wants dinner and a movie.
不 Amy不會和Jonah約會的 No, Amy is not going on a date with Jonah.
鎮靜 不上床的約會 Get a grip. It's a date and no sex.
對我來講 這是12年的婚姻 For me, that was 12 years of marriage.
我給你們找個旅館 - I'll get you guys a motel. - Ugh.
天啊 不 Selina: Oh, God, no!
閃開 閃開 閃開 Make a hole! Make a hole! Make a hole!
- 天啊 - 看看這個 - Oh, my God. - Look at this.
- 什麽 什麽 - 看 - What? What? - Look.
總統已經簽了這個 The President already signed this one.
我們得在新的上僞造總統的簽名 Okay? We're gonna have to forge the President's signature on the new one.
這可是死刑 告訴你們 這可是會被電椅處決的 Gary: Well, that's a capital offense. Yeah, you could be legally electrocuted for doin
- 我沒在 我很明確地拒絕了 - 聽著 我來 我做 I'm not here. I have plausible deniability. Look, I'll do it. I got it.
關鍵是上下顛倒了 The key is you do it upside down.
太誇張了 That is extraordinary.
- 有你不能做的嗎 - 前戲 陽光直射 Is there anything you can't do? Amy: Foreplay, direct sunlight.
- 女士 我任您差遣 - Amy 是的 - Ma'am, I am at your service. - Um, Amy, yes.
我想和你談談這事 I wanted to talk to you about this.
- 我給Dan在這個辦公室提供了一份永久職位 - 好的 I have offered Dan a permanent post - here in the office. - Okay.
- 很好 - 沒問題 - Great. - Not a problem.
我去給黑莓充電 I'll get the BlackBerry fired up.
- 我沒問題 - 好的 - Sounds good to me. - Here we go.
- 有時間嗎 - 有 - Do you have a second? - Sure.
- 你雇他了 - 嗯 - You hired him? - Mm-hmm.
- 你雇了華盛頓頭號混蛋 - 是的 我擅長和混蛋打交道 You hired the biggest bastard in D.C.? Oh, yeah, well, I'm fluent in bastard
是我的招牌之一 Amy 我利用Dan得到我想要的東西 Okay? It's one of my languages. Amy, I used Dan to get what I wanted.
他利用你得到他想要的 He used you to get what he wanted.
不 我肯定是利用他 Uh-uh, no. I definitely used him.
我是利用者 他是被用者 I'm the user, and he's the usee.
好吧 Amy 來了 Okay, Amy, here we go.
蝦仁意面再來一個A片 嘿 開玩笑 Shrimp Linguini and a porno. Oh, hey. I'm just kidding.
是雞肉意面 我馬上到 It's chicken Linguini. I'll be over here.
Dan是個陰謀家 他嘴裏沒一句實話 Dan is manipulative. He is cunning.
我知道 所以我才會雇他 你爲什麽不聽我的 I know. That's why I hired him. Why aren't you listening to me?
半年內 所有這些爛事消停了 In six months, when all this bullshit dies down,
我們往清潔工作委員會裏安插一個石油的人 we're gonna put an oil guy on the clean jobs commission.
- 你要往清潔工作上潑石油 - 天啊 Amy 成熟點吧 You're pouring oil on clean jobs? Oh, please, please, Amy, grow up.
他們就是這樣解決古巴導彈問題的 這是我的古巴 This is how they solved the Cuban missile crisis. This is my Cuba.
Dan告訴你這是你的古巴嗎 他真是坨屎 Did Dan tell you that this is your Cuba? He's such a shit.
我知道 我就是想告訴你這個 I know, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
你就是把他當坨屎賣給我的 所以我雇了他 You sold him to me as a shit and that's why I hired him.
他惡心屎我了 我需要這坨屎 He's shitty me, okay? I need a shit.
- 你一定會後悔 - Amy 我需要屎 - You are so going to regret... - Amy, I need a shit.
- 有人嗎 你好 - 你好 - Knock, knock. Hello. - Hello.
塑料和纖維素化合物協會的Bob Jeffries Bob Jeffries of the Plastics and Cellulose Association.
- 副總統 - 你好 - Madam Vice President. - How do you do?
- 請進 - 非常感謝 - Please, come into my office. - Thank you so much.
你知道我有自己的旗嗎 Do you know that I have my own flag?
希望是我們的纖維素化合物做的旗 Well, I hope that's one of our cellulose flags.
你太過了 Oh, you're too much.
你的戰車在等 Jonah: Your chariot awaits.
所以 拿上你的大衣 So, yeah, grab your coat.
小Jack Horner 你在這兒啊 Okay, little Jack Horner, there you are.
全新的辦公桌在等著你 You got a brand-new desk in the corner.
跟著我 我已經給你 Follow me, I've got a beautiful spot
和你女朋友Carol Hallowes的合照 找了一個絕佳的擺放位置 for your adoring photo of girlfriend Carol Hallowes.
事實上 她不再是我女朋友了 我15分鍾以前用短信跟她分手了 Actually, she's not my girlfriend anymore. I just broke up with he
- 冷酷無情啊 - 其實是個應用程序 - Well, cold and rather nerdy. - Actually, it was an app.
好吧 搬走 滑頭要搬進來 All right, move out. Slick's moving in.
Gary 能拿兩杯咖啡來嗎 Selina: Gary, can we get two coffees in here?
不要甜味 No sweeteners.
- 不要甜味 - 糖 - No sweeteners? - Sugar.
- 不要甜味 - 不要甜味 糖 - No sweeteners? - No sweeteners. Sugar.
敢碰我 你的一根手指就別要了 還有一個蛋 Touch me and you lose a finger. And a ball.
搞笑的是 今天早上我在白宮總統見到我吃果仁 所有我就説 你喜歡果仁嗎 Funny story, I was at the White House this morning