Good thing I only had two bites of pre-owned fritatta this morning.
I can't believe I insulted Floyd Petrowski!
To gamers, he is the Itzhak Perlman of violinists,
the Oprah of middle aged women.
the whoever of surfing and/or golf!
Floyd Petrowski invented the MMO in his dad's basement at 16.
He is the guru epic drop of RPGs,
and I called his ideas moronic to his face!
Today... I created the anxiety dream that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Except, my brain will make it worse -
so, I'll be insulting him, while naked, falling off a cliff, holding a dead kitten.
fritata...
Can the pirate, put me in a headlock,
with a pro-wrestling background,
and say - "to the plank with ye, matey".
Five extra liability dollars.
Alright, roll up buddy, let's do this!
What's your name?
Alright, let's go.
To the plank with ye, matey.
Who's that kid?
Some... internet pirate.
This viral video stuff's just a fad.
Thank you so much.
Take care.
Great.
That was great, man. Have a good time.
...Money well-spent.
Oh well, lookie who it is!
Are you in the wrong special guest line?
'cause I believe the fifth vampire corpse from Twilight
is in the opposite corner, yo.
I finally caught up on your body of work -
blown away!
How did you invent this character?
What inspired you?
How could I have missed your genius?
Okay, well now you're asking the right questions.
Well, when I was four, I...
Bladezz!
The next fan wants you to swim with him in the underwater kingdom of the Snorks.
Huh, okay, uh, Rachel, is it?
That's right.
How 'bout you and your homies meet this pirate in the lobby tonight,
and we'll catch a soda and discuss my...
process?
We have a raid tonight.
Fornicate at a later date.
Hmph -
tomorrow?
Okay... lobby. Seven. Tomorrow!
Oh, SQUEEEEE!!!!
Alright!
Bladezz' got groupies.
Oh, and then I said, "Creator Guy needs a reality check" -
to the Creator!
And then I just... ah... these cookies are really good, thanks.
Don't thank me, thank my Genre Recipes Class.
Those cookies are from episode 7, season 3 of Battlestar.
They got frakkadamia-nuts.
Well...
thanks for rushing over.
I'm glad I caught your message.
I had to switch to a group texting app, just to keep up.
Modern living'd.
Why are you popular?
Who's texting you?
Like everyone at the convention!
You know how you can't get into panels 'cause the lines are so long,
but you can save a seat -
so I started pooling people's numbers,
and I created a network of fans,
who save each other seats for them.
All you gotta do, is snag an extra seat,
and text the network, and then boom!
Then the guy at the other end is like
"Oh hey,
my friend says there's a seat in row x." no waiting!
No waiting!
I call it Seat Savers,
the buddy system for making new friendships, and watching your favorite panels.
Organization Inc.
Wow, that's awesome, I mean...
the name really doesn't work.
Right.
Yeah, but... cool concept.
It's a good thing you're in my favourites
because your massage went right to the top.
I'm in your favorites? Wow.
Yeap. Obvious'd.
Well, next panel starts in ten, gotta fly.
Wait!
Let's do this...
together.
You want to go to Hot Girls From Other Worlds?
No, no, I mean, um...
Uh... I,
I think I like you,
in a...
you know... kinda way.
Skank-badger.
Aren't you a little short, for a Slave Leia?
Mine's homemade.
I love booth hopping,
and everyone takes charge cards!
You spent more money on these bracelets than we'll ever earn on these t-shirts!
And still, no one will help us sell our stuff.
I'm showin' a lot of skin for nothing.
Well, it really doesn't make sense for these vendors,
to cut in a middle man, Tink.
Narrow profit margin barely covers their booth rental, and travel cost -
so they'd have to charge 90% of our wholesale to justify a partnership.
Oooh! Shiny!
Wait.
You sounded smart for a minute!
Okay, I'm feeling a little light-headed...
W-why now, wh-what changed?
Why do people keep asking that? Do I need a reason?
I mean,
d-do people analyze how magnets work?
Yes... In physics class.
Like... all the time.
Well, that's just stupid.
I mean,
sometimes you just have to go with things, and not think about them.
really go...
uh, I dunno...
Do you like sportsgames?
Sportsgames?
Like... no, ew.
Say you got a free one,
and it's just sitting there.
And like you're super bored.
I mean... I guess I might try it.
But you'd probably hate it.
And now it's used, and the resale value is totally blown.
Think about how the game might feel.
Well, I mean the economics are pretty clear,
but I don't think a game feels -
oh, this is an analogy.
Look.
I
worked really hard to become your friend.
And now that I know you,
I-I like you -
as a friend...
but, when I meet that special someone,
I want lightning to strike on both ends.
Yeah, but...
are you sure
nothing is striking here?
No...
Is it a crit for you?
Or is it a chain lightning spell that...
does zero damage because of your emotional resist armor?
I guess your stats are right.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Let's not let it be awkward, ok?
Hm...Too late.
You've already...
gutted the creator of our game.
And... Oh, there he goes right now.
Stab me in the heart. Ok.
Dead kittens, dead kittens, dead kittens...
Go! Talk to him.
I mean, apologize to his face.
What!?
No!
Then he'll reject me like you just did, and then I'll wanna vomit and then...
Okay.
Can you come with me?
Can't. Duty calls, you know, for the seat savers.
The buddy system, for making new friendships, and...
Okay, see you later, bye!
...Alright. Go get him!
What is this strange stuff!
I've never seen anything like it!
If you don't know, you should probably move on.
It's steampunk, the Eurotrash of nerd-dom.
Oh, Princess Leia.
How original.
Can we sell our shirts at your booth?
We're desperate.
Whatever cut you want, you can have.
Clara! Where did the smart words go?
I'm sorry, but do those look like they match out colour palette?
I don't know what that means.
The answer's no.
Would you like to purchase something?
If not, kindly clear the aisle,
thank you.
But I wanna know what those goggle things are!
They're called goggles.
Huh! Neat!
Do you guys have baby clothes?
A gas mask perhaps.
C'mon Clara, let's go.
Oh, but I wanna know more about the clocky-windy stuff!
That's not gonna help -
Oh my god.
Emergency bail alert!
Uh, pardon!
You know I really tried to get excited about this demo.
But no one is responding.
The fans think the changes are moronic.
Maybe they're right.
W-We could take a new angle on the force powers,
we could tweak the party mechanics.
Do you know that Soundgarden is now an oldies band?
No matter what you do, you're gonna be dogged for it.
Cash out man!
Move on.
Don't worry 'bout your baby.
RTX promise.
Okay,
you know what?
Maybe it's time.
Huzzah!
To the kingdom!
Draw up the paper work!
Wooo!
Wa-wait a second...!
Did he just say he's gonna sell our game?