Nothing in my life could compare to this.
I'm a dad.
- That's not your kid. - I know but he reminds me of Sam.
That's a girl!
Stop ruining it! Why do you have to ruin things? I'm-I'm having a moment here!
Let's go.
It must suck that Sam and Kim moved.
What can I do? You know, she took a job in another hospital.
But they only moved like 40 minutes away, I'm going to see Sam all the time.
Matter of fact: I'm going there tonight.
The new patient's scale had all the female staffers obsessing about one thing.
- I need to loose two pounds. - Ah, since Keith and I broke up,
I've been eating and sleeping very well so... I'm down to dress size.
- You look like you've been sick. - Turk that's so sweet!
Come on baby, let's go seein' how much you weigh.
We all sensed what would happen if Turk didn't let go.
Girls?
Oh no! JD! Heeeelp!
210 pounds!
Good.
♪Tubbo♪
What's is saying.?
Problem, lady?
♪Muscles wanted♪
Damn you, Carla and your giant rubber stamps!
- Let it go, Turk! Let it go! - Sorry...
Hey! If you're gonna drive that gas guzzler, the least you can do is car pool.
Hey! I don't see you bring anybody to work.
Hey! I just drove my mum off at the mall.
She... She sits on the seat and...
then holds on by tucking her hands inside my bike shorts.
- That's disgusting. - Yeah. Doesn't feel right.
- Hey! It's your engine still running? - Yeah.
I let it run all day so I can leave the air conditioner on,
uhm, hey, it's nice and cool when I drive home.
I got a gas ups and downs over lunch but it's worth it.
You have to see "An inconvenient truth".
It would change your life.
- They're ruining the planet. - Yeah.
Don't go!
- You know what really sucks? - Being trapped in an elevator with you
while you whine about your stupid life?
You know what? It's actually okay.
All I need to is white noise.
Yeah, I've got this new kid but it's come at the crappiest time of my life.
Plus, I'm making the fully mad driver on a scooter.
And if I ever wanna bring Sam here, I can't, because his stupid flopsy baby neck
isn't strong enough to wear a helmet.
- Hi, later. - Hi, later.
Anyway, wonder what the cherry on top on the crap Sunday that is my life?
Tomorrow, my loser brother's coming here. Not happy.
Dude, you need some perspective.
This guy came here for a simple spinal fusion. He got septic...
and there was nothing we could do.
Do you still want to complain because you're brother's coming in today?
Ah... Tomorrow.
Dan's coming tomorrow.
No, actually he's coming in today.
He gave me a call, asked me if I'd help him
with some embarassing prank he wanted to pull on you.
Thanks for the warning, Turk. You're a good friend.
I am!
Why are they all here?
- Zombie! Ah! - AH AH AH AH AH!
Itasa Scrubs Team Proudly presents
Scrubs Season 07 Episode 03 "My Inconvenient Truth" VO subtitles
Transcript: JDsClone, Matters, gi0v3
Synch, revision: gi0v3
Italian Scrubs Addicted [www.italiansubs.net]
- Christopher, thanks again for your help. - Hey man, if it involves making
JD scream like a little girl, I am there for you.
AAAAAAH! I'm a monster!
It takes more planning than that.
It must be embarassing for you.
Damn it!
Three officians in six months for stress related issues?
Really? Well, here's what I want you to do.
Stop...
getting... worked up...
over... Again... over...
small things.
They're everywhere. This stuff that's making you goofy, it's all over. Stop that.
Get him out of here.
Dear God.
Here's your coffee, Dr. Cox.
You want me to grab then,
even know I suspect the reason that you're holding the hand
was because the mug itself is scolding hot.
Now, I sent you out to get me some jaw, not to give me a burn.
Put the coffee down.
Get out. Get out. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Wow!
Yes, you. Questions? Comments?
You do realize that you just told the patient to reduce stress
and then yelled at an intern over... coffee?
You are going to be the huge help when it comes down to write my memories.
I'm so sick of all the hypocrites around here!
Two words, sweetie: Sun screen.
You know your smoking is killing you?
God, that's delicious!
A patient shouldn't have to take advice if we can't follow ourselves.
Woman's logic is flawless.
Okay, people, time to save the planet!
- But where to begin? - My first step was going with
all hemp underwear. It's awesome!
Except when the hemp oil sips into your bloodstream, then it's awesomer!
Sir.
Make it snappy jumpsuit, I'm already late for my nap.
and Ted, so help me, I had better not find your head indentation on my pillow again.
This hospital is dropping the ball environmentally
and I would like to volunteer my services as an environmental officer.
- Will it cost me anything? - No.
- Knock yourself up, hippie. - Groovy.
Hey, brother...
I had to take it 'cause of all the head sweat.
Thanks for buy me a lunch today. I'm all cash light.
Having Dan here wasn't all bad.
So, Dan, you still living with your mom?
Carla, Dan doesn't live with our mom,
He lives in the apartment that happens to be in mom's attic.
Yep! Nothing makes my life seem less crappy
that hangin' out with my loser bro.
I mean, sure, there's lots of bats up there but it's because there's no air conditioning.
- Bats like Hit? - Mustee Hit, yes.
- Good question, Turk. - Thanks.
How come you don't point out when I ask good questions?
Because I don't love you like he does.
Told you...
Actually, JD, I just bought my own house.
How could you afford to do that on a part-time bartender salary?
I flip houses for living now.
Turns out I'm really good at this real estate stuff.
Pry 'cause it envolved another small money lying at double speed.
Well, if you're doing so well, how come you made me buy all your lunch?
Good question, JD!
I wasn't aware we needed a reason for trying to score a free meal.
Can you... can I t... I just... I'm just...
- You have your own sandwich. - Now I have yours.
- Mayo? - Why, you don't like mayo?
Oh, I guess not.
So, Robin, I see here that you passed out at work.
Yeah! I saw a ghost!
- Really? No way. - No.
But I have to mope with something interesting, right?
I mean, it was so embarassing.
Uh, tell people that was your mother's ghost.
- I can't. My mom is still alive. - Ahh, bummer.
Yeah.
Anywho, we run some tests,
Hopefully it will be something exotic. Wait, maybe not fatal.
Right.
Sip.
That is hot. Add some half and half and come back. Go.
Sorry, this spaces are now for carpool only.
What if someone who's not a carpool parks here?
Obviously, as environmental officer, I don't have any real power,
but I can give you this citation,
just as a symbolic gesture.
You'll notice on the back, I made a list of possible concequences
for violating the hospital's new green policy.
If you leave a light on, I'll make you lick a battery, or eat a light bulb, your choice.
Of course.
And as for parking in a carpool only landing, well,
I can't really damage your car, but I might just throw wasp hive in there.
Hey guys.
Many mess with the locks, he can't get out.
Bam!
- I'm gonna go with "aw". - Member! Give a hoots, don't litter.
That was outstanding.
Where's your "can", Dan?
You're so cranky. I'm gonna cheer you up.
'Cause last time I went seeing you, JD, you laid some hard truth on me
that really helped me to turn my life around, so now,
I got you a little something to say thank you.
A new car!
Da hell?
So, your tests came back.
Your prealbumine is low, you've a protein deficiency,
Robin, you're malnutrished.
I eat.I mean, I'm not anorexic.
I read your case history, you're a vegetarian who runs every single morning,
eats mostly salad, have got a stressful job...
Robin, you are 5.9" and you weigh 119 pounds.
You need to gain some weight.
Hi there.
I'm gonna go head and borrow your doctor for a quick second.
What the frick? You are ruining all my shirt! Put me down!
What are you doing? Because I gotta be honest with you, this seems widely inappropriate.
Well, I checked your malnutred patient's chart back there and...
and something occurred to me: you are... you are 5.9" also, aren't you?
Nooo! Put me down!
Freak the hell!
Don't you get for me the fricking scale!?
Tha-dha!
Come on, JD, this is the perfect gift.
You can't be driving 40 minutes on a scooter to go to see your kid.
Plus, this is a hybrid. So you save tons on gas.
- I don't want your charity, Dan. Take it back. - No, judge.
Really? Well, if it's mine...
than I guess that you won't care if I do this.
Wow! This tee must have fantastic crash-test reading.
Hey, you! Come over here and read this number, will you?
No, Boone. I will kill your family.
- Don't wait up and stumbles! - Or you say bye to baby Boone!
Got it! 298!
Minus my superbuff 180 pounds make your weight...
118!
Which is a full one pound less than your patient who is in trouble.
Hypocrisy, thy name is, Boone?
Do you wanna finish that for me? No?
- Much more eonugh to follow? - No.
Is you, Barbie.
Hypocrisy, thy name is you.
I'll take a quick breather.
JD, I enjoyed demostration of your lack of phisical strenght as much as an ex guy, but
What's your problem?
Dan, you come here with a new job, a new house and you give me a car?
So what?
Don't say it.
You're supposed to be the loser, not me.
Finally! I looseened it.
And than Dan said the last thing I ever expected to hear from him.
You know what, JD?
You need to grow up.
You shouldn't mess with hybrid cars.
- Be gentile. - Nope.
I wasn't speaking to my brother,
Of course Dan reacted in the way he always does.
He becaime it character he like to call "The constant questioner".
Who's that guy? What behind that door?
When is the next bus to Chicago? 7 o'clock p.m. 300. Where is that girl going?
Wanna see me doin' a funny dance? Wanna see me do it around you?
Break it! Break it! Break it!
New from Mattel it's... Hypocrite Barbie!
Now, when you do waltz into your similarly
stick-like patient's room, I don't want you to feel guilty
because you brought on a bag of salary stakes and air for lunch today.
It's not about you, it's about her.
Robin, this colleague of mine pointed out that i could also stantic pain a few pounds, and...??
I don't wanna be a hipocrite, so how about you and I do it together?
Sure.
- He's got crazy eyes. - I do. Normally kill you.
That's very wasteful. Must you wash your hands so often?
I just changed an 80 year-old man's diaper, and I'm about to eat'em off,
and so, if you don't mind, I'm gonna wash away.
Oooh, I do not wanna see this.
See what?
He expects me to make you drink my mop water.
But... my bucket is all the way down the stairs, so I'll let you off the hook,
if you promise never to tell Ted.
-Yes? -No.
I'm gonna take that as "yes".
That's it! Drink it down, baby.
All the sods, too! You've learned a lesson.
Move it, Jolly-green.
What's up your butt?
Yesterday Dan told me that I need to grow up.
Me?! I mean, you don't think that, do you?
What followed was what I like to call "the hedgign noise symphony"
- Uhm.. - Er...
- I... - Uhm...
- Er.. - So...
- Uhm... - I...
- So... - Well...
Ha!
I-I-I-I-Er-O-Ah-I...
Mmh-Er-Ha!
I-I-I-Well-Er-If-See-Well-Hm-Well-Ha!
You-I-I-See-I-Aah-I-Ah-Ah-Uhm-Ha!
You-Well-I-Well-I-Well-I-See-Uhm-Ha-haaaa!
Do you think I need to grow up?
Well...
You dream your whole life about that moment, and when it finally comes, you just...
you're just not ready for it. Here it goes:
the answer is a sincere, enfatic,
100%definitiveneverbeensosureof anithinginmylifeunequivocal...
Yes, and the fact that you came to me means everibody else thinks so, too.
Am I right?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hell's yeah.
I just needed to find someone who really understood me.
Ooh! My scar!
- Is that face paint? - Yeah, Carla wants me to trash it.
Oh, really?
Dribble me!
Between the legs!
- Wow, Elliot, double dessert? -Yeah.
I promised a patient that we'd gain weight together, so...
Wow...
It's not every doctor that would take a hot bod like yours and go all jiggly for a patient.
Has anyone else noticed how fantastic Dr.Reid has been looking lately?
Sop girl.
That'll do do it.
Hey, why didn't you throw that in the recycling?
The recycling bin is way over there...
What happened to you?
You're going to change the world, man!
I've learned to pick my battles in this world,
otherwise ya fight, and ya fight, and one day you'll look in the mirror
and there's an old man looking back atcha,
and you have to ask yourself "was it all worthy?"
It's been 36 hours!
I'm going to say something to you,
that's been said to me by every person I've ever loved
I'm really disappointed in you, you're pathetic and weak,
and I don't love you anymore. Get out!
You don't think I need to grow up, do you, Turk?
Definitley.
That means a lot, coming from a guy who painted his head
like some sort of a sports ball.
Buddy,
A one thing I love about hanging out with you
is that we get to do stuff like this, you know, but...
when you leave I go back to be a husband and a father.
which means paying bills,
giving my daughter a bath, and budging on with Carla so that we can buy a house.
Well, you...
Have you had your baby pooped your apartment and learned how to change a diaper?
Aren't there any instructions on the box?
Have you seen your baby since Kim took him home?
No...
Now I say, you think you need to grow up?
Do it, do it now.
Are you done?
I can't believe I'm such a hypocrite.
I can't believe I gave up saving the world after 36 hours!
I don't deserve to wear this sash.
I like it on.
You two are so boring.
Janitors aren't boring.
You wanna know the weird defect you both have that make you screw up like this?
- Please... - You're both humans.
- Janitors aren't human. - They are!
And Elliot, I'm really annoyed with you because I gave you this lecture 2 weeks ago.
Pay attention, because I don't wanna be saying the same thing again in two weeks.
You're both human.
I don't recall that.
It's human who want the best for your patient, even if you can't follow your own advice.
It's human to get passionate about something and then get complacent.
It's annoying to whine about it all the time!
Janitors don't whine.
Oh, wait, yes we do. That's our thing.
- Hey. - Hey.
Wanna see the dance again?
Tikitiki Toocatooca Yum Yum!
Actually, Dan, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go over to Kim's and me and...
meet my son.
Yeah, yeah. I'm great.
You know, JD...
You're the one who told me to get my life together in the first place.
Well, I never thought you'd do it.
Uh, it's so lovely saying to me.
I'm happy for you, Dan.
You don't know how to turn it on, do you?
No idea. I... pushed it from the parking spot, back there.
- Ok, well, you see this button? - Yeah, discovered, that's the stereo.
And if you push this up...
Clearly a vent.
It's hard to own up to your shortcomings.
Like friends tease your own hypocrisy.
April, the nurses told me that you've been ill enough.
Well, what about you?
This isn't about me, I'm not the one fainting at the office,
just... do what I tell you to do.
Barbie... there you are.
You're standing sideways so I didn't see ya.
Still, once you do homenut, you might be surprised
to see that you did make a difference.
Dammit! Next time you guys get pastring crums all over my car
you ain't better bring a scorn for the driver.
Well what do you know? Your carpool thing's stuck.
I guess it's something, right?
As for me, I always assumed growing up happened dogmatically as you got older
but it's really something you have to choose to do.
- See you tomorrow, Sam, I promise. - Night, buddy.
I guess I'm finally on my way.
He looks like dad.
I know.
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