NOT BAD. PLAY THE PIANO.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW'S THIS?
NOW PLAY THE SAXOPHONE.
OKAY.
[SQUEAK]
YOU NEED MUSIC LESSONS.
[SQUEAK SQUEAK]
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPER BOY ♪
♪ EVENIN' TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S CONFUSIN' ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ AIN'T A BIRD WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN' ♪
♪ TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
GUYS HAVE NO IDEA THAT NATURAL BEAUTY TAKES SO MUCH HARD WORK.
WELL, SOME GUYS DO.
THIS MORNING,
YOUR UNCLE JESSE SPENT 47 MINUTES IN THE BATHROOM
FIXING HIS HAIR.
HE SPRAYED IT, HE MOUSSED IT, HE GELLED IT.
I THINK HE EVEN USED MY HOT ROLLERS.
THERE. OK. DONE.
THANKS, AUNT BECKY.
UH-OH. I HAVE TO BE OUT OF HERE IN 10 MINUTES.
WAIT. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.
FOLLOW ME.
OK. GIVE ME YOUR FEET.
OH, YOU'RE A GENIUS. THIS WORKS GREAT.
DEEJ, YOU MUST HAVE REALLY HAIRY FEET.
IT'S FOR MY NAIL POLISH.
IS EVERYTHING SET UP FOR TONIGHT?
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS
IN FRONT OF THE A-D-U-L-T?
IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS
I SURE WISH I KNEW HOW TO SPELL.
KIMMY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM AUNT BECKY.
SHE'S LIKE MY BIG SISTER.
YEAH. YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
OK. HERE'S THE PLAN.
I START BABYSITTING AT 7:00.
I'LL HAVE THE KID IN BED BY 7:02.
PERFECT. AND THE GUYS ARE COMING AT 7:10.
AUNT BECKY, THERE'S THIS REALLY CUTE GUY NAMED RYAN
IN MY BIOLOGY CLASS,
AND WE SHARE THE SAME MICROSCOPE.
THEY MET OVER A DROP OF POND SCUM.
IT GETS BETTER. I INVITED RYAN OVER
TO STUDY FOR FINALS WITH US.
HE'S EVEN BRINGING A FRIEND FOR KIMMY.
DEEJ, HOW DOES YOUR DAD FEEL
ABOUT YOU INVITING BOYS OVER
TO A HOUSE WITHOUT ANY ADULTS?
WELL, DAD FEELS FINE
BECAUSE DAD DOESN'T KNOW.
YOU WON'T SAY ANYTHING, WILL YOU?
NO, I GUESS NOT.
THANKS, AUNT BECKY. YOU'RE WELCOME.
HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JOEY?
UH-UH.
BOY, UNCLE JESSE,
YOU'RE HAVING A REALLY GOOD HAIR DAY.
REALLY?
YEAH. I GUESS I AM.
IT'S FUNNY, TOO BECAUSE I JUST WOKE UP THIS MORNING
AND RAN MY FINGERS THROUGH IT.
JUST BLESSED, I GUESS.
HURRY, HURRY! COMET'S HAVING PUPPIES!
WHAT?
COMET'S HAVING PUPPIES?
WAIT A SECOND.
COMET IS A BOY.
♪ HA HA HA HA HA ♪
♪ I FOOLED YOU ♪♪
MICHELLE, SIT DOWN.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS WATCHING SHEEP,
AND SHE LIKED TO FOOL PEOPLE BY CRYING WOLF.
BUT THEN, THE REAL WOLF CAME, NOBODY BELIEVED HER.
OK. TELL ME THE STORY.
I JUST DID.
NO ONCE UPON A TIME?
NO HAPPY EVER AFTER?
DUMB STORY.
WHY DO I BOTHER?
WELL, HERE IT IS, BOYS--
THE NEWEST ADDITION TO OUR PRODUCTION COMPANY.
TA-DA!
HA! A POOL TABLE.
ALL RIGHT, JOSEPH. NOW THIS IS A REAL OFFICE.
ALL WE GOT TO DO NOW IS GET RID OF THE DESK
AND MAKE ROOM FOR THE WATER SLIDE.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
I RENTED THIS POOL TABLE TO ENHANCE OUR CREATIVITY.
JESS, YOU KNOW HOW SOMETIMES WE GET STUCK FOR AN IDEA,
WHAT DO WE USUALLY DO?
THROW SPITWADS AT EACH OTHER.
NOT ANY MORE. FROM NOW ON, WE PLAY POOL,
BUT IT'S ONLY TO BE USED IN THOSE RARE MOMENTS
WHEN WE'RE STUCK FOR AN IDEA.
RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S GET SOME WORK DONE.
I'M STUCK.
ME, TOO. RACK 'EM UP.
DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I PLAY, TOO?
AW, ISN'T THAT CUTE?
DANNY WANTS TO PLAY POOL WITH THE BIG BOYS.
DANIEL, POOL IS A GAME
OF SKILL, NERVE, AND COORDINATION.
YOU KEEP SCORE.
OH, BOY. DO I GET CHALK AND EVERYTHING?
YES. THESE ARE THE COLORED BALLS.
THESE ARE THE POCKETS.
WHEN WE GET ONE OF THE COLORED BALLS INTO THE POCKET,
YOU RUN OVER HERE-- COME HERE...
PUT A LITTLE LINE LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT.
OKAY? THERE YOU GO. THERE'S YOUR CHALK.
OOH, THANKS. THIS IS MUCH MORE FUN THAN PLAYING.
DADDY, COME HERE! HURRY UP!
COMING, MICHELLE. BE RIGHT BACK. I'M COMING!
WHAT IS IT, MICHELLE? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
THERE'S A MOUSE OVER THERE
AND HE HAS BIG TEETH LIKE THIS.
A MOUSE?
BUT THERE'S NO CRUMBS ON MY FLOOR.
THAT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE IN THE RODENT WORLD.
DAD?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH. MICHELLE SAW A MOUSE.
OH, YEAH? WAS IT HAVING PUPPIES?
♪ HA HA HA HA HA ♪
♪ I FOOLED YOU ♪♪
MICHELLE, IT'S NOT NICE
TO TRY AND FOOL YOUR DAD LIKE THAT.
I TOLD HER THE STORY ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL WHO CRIED WOLF.
I DIDN'T CRY WOLF. I CRIED MOUSE.
♪ HA HA HA HA HA ♪
MICHELLE, THAT'S REALLY NOT FUNNY.
HI, DAD. BYE, DAD.
I'LL BE BABYSITTING WITH KIMMY.
WHOA, WHOA. D.J. YOUR BIOLOGY FINAL IS MONDAY.
RELAXEZ-VOUS, MR. T.
SHE'LL BE STUDYING WITH ME.
THAT'S TRES REASSURING.
HEY. I KNOW BIOLOGY.
THEY MADE ME TAKE IT TWICE.
D.J., YOU'RE STUDYING IN YOUR ROOM TONIGHT.
BUT DAD, WE HAD THIS ALL PLANNED.
YOU DIDN'T PLAN IT WITH ME.
BECKY, DON'T YOU THINK MY DAD'S BEING UNFAIR?
DEEJ, EVEN IF I DID AGREE WITH YOU,
IT'S REALLY NOT MY PLACE--
BECKY AGREES WITH ME.
THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE JUST SAID. IS IT, BECKY?
WELL, NO. NOT EXACTLY. WHAT I MEANT WAS--
SEE, DEEJ? SHE AGREES WITH ME.
I'M JUST GOING TO GO WAIT OVER THERE.
D.J., MY POINT IS,
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO GET GOOD GRADES.
THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY PERSON'S LIFE
WHEN YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN EXCELLENCE
AND...LESS THAN EXCELLENCE.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
GREAT. I'M GOING WITH KIMMY.
OK. THE CHOICE IS MINE.
YOU'RE STUDYING IN YOUR ROOM TONIGHT. CASE CLOSED.
AU REVOIR, KIMMY.
DEEJ, THIS IS AWFUL.
I'M GOING TO BE STUCK ALL ALONE
WITH THOSE TWO CUTE GUYS.
ALL RIGHT!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
RYAN'S GOING TO THINK I STOOD HIM UP.
HE'S GONNA HATE ME FOREVER.
CALL HIM AND TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED.
IT'S TOO LATE. HE'S ALREADY ON HIS WAY.
I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS IN PERSON.
IF YOU SAW HOW CUTE HE WAS,
YOU'D WANT TO EXPLAIN THIS IN PERSON, TOO.
CAN YOU COVER FOR ME?
OH, DEEJ, YOUR DAD SAID NO.
COME ON, BECKY. PLEASE?
I'LL ONLY BE 10 MINUTES. I PROMISE.
YOU SAID WE WERE FRIENDS.
ALL RIGHT. 10 MINUTES.
THANKS, BECKY. YOU'RE THE BEST.
GO! BE BACK IN 10 MINUTES,
OR YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
AND SO AM I.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
HI.
DEEJ.
THE WARDEN LET YOU OUT?
NOT EXACTLY.
MY DAD THINKS I'M IN MY ROOM STUDYING,
BUT BECKY'S GONNA COVER FOR ME.
I ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES. I HOPE RYAN'S NOT LATE.
I WONDER WHO HE'S BRINGING FOR ME.
I DON'T KNOW, BUT RYAN SAID HE WAS DEFINITELY YOUR TYPE.
EXCELLENT. THAT MEANS HE'S 6'2",
DRIVES A RED LAMBORGHINI,
AND KNOWS HOW TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN.
PARTY! PARTY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
I WANT TO WATCH ARACHNOPHOBIA.
AARON, I KNOW YOU CAN'T TELL TIME YET,
BUT IT'S WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME.
LIAR!
I LEARNED HOW TO TELL TIME LAST WEEK!
IT'S ONLY...
7:05.
OKAY, AARON. YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE
BUT TO SING YOU ANOTHER LULLABY.
NO! PLEASE!
ROCKABYE BABY, ON THE TREE TOP!
MY EARS! MY EARS!
WHEN THE WIND BLOWS, THE CRADLE WILL ROCK!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
IT'S THE GUYS.
I'VE ONLY GOT EIGHT MINUTES
TO START A DEEP, MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH RYAN.
HI, RYAN.
HI, GIBBLER.
HEY, DEEJ.
YOU LOOK DIFFERENT OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.
I MEAN, YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY.
THANKS. YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY, TOO.
I MEAN...REALLY PRETTY MASCULINE.
WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S THE HUNK OF MY DREAMS?
GIBBLER.
BITTERMAN?
I GUESS YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER.
SINCE THIRD GRADE.
HE USED TO EAT MY PASTE.
COME ON, GIBBLER. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I BARF.
HEY. THOSE ARE BOYS.
YOU'RE FIRED, GIBBLER.
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME. I QUIT.
KIMMY, YOU'RE BABYSITTING. YOU CAN'T QUIT.
AARON,WHAT IF WE LET YOU STAY UP LATE
AND WATCH ARACHNOPHOBIA IN YOUR PARENTS' BEDROOM?
THAT'S A BRIBE!
YES, IT IS.
I LIKE BRIBES.
HEY.
WHY DON'T WE BREAK UP INTO STUDY GROUPS?
I'LL WORK WITH D.J.
JAKE, WORK WITH GIBBLER.
THE DREAM TEAM.
SHUT OFF THE DROOL PIPE, BITTERMAN.
THE PARTY'S OVER. D.J.'S GOT TO GO HOME.
WHY DON'T YOU WALK HER?
I REALLY WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH YOU.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO GO ALREADY.
WHY WOULD I GO? I JUST GOT HERE.
KID'S STILL GOT IT. PAY UP, FUNBOY. COME ON...
IT'S NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE.
IT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME.
AND I STINK.
MY TURN.
DANIEL, PLEASE,
SAVE YOURSELF THE TIME AND HUMILIATION.
JUST EMPTY YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW.
COME ON, JESS. JUST ONE GAME.
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL MY GRANDCHILDREN
THAT I ACTUALLY PLAYED "THE KID."
SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING FOR, A DOLLAR A BALL?
NO. WE WERE PLAYING FOR A QUARTER A B--
YES. WE WERE PLAYING FOR A DOLLAR A BALL.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU BREAK 'EM..
WHAT THE HECK. WHY DON'T WE MAKE IT 2 BUCKS A BALL.
YOU MIGHT WANNA USE THE OTHER END OF THE STICK.
OH.
OH...NO WONDER THEY CALL YOU THE KID.
WHOA. YOU JUST SUNK THREE BALLS.
AW, GEE. I JUST MADE SIX BUCKS.
WHAT A LUCKY START.
OK. SPLIT SHOT. 6 BALL IN THE CORNER POCKET.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
I JUST MADE TWO GO IN.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...
FIVE?
WELL, JESS,
THAT IS 50 BALLS AT $2.00 A BALL.
I BELIEVE THAT'S 100 MR. WASHINGTONS.
HEY, TALK ABOUT BEGINNER'S LUCK.
YOU HUSTLED ME, MAN.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HUSTLING YOU.
I'M GLAD YOU APPRECIATE THE IRONY.
THANK YOU.
JOEY, HERE'S $10
FOR KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE.
YOU KNEW HE WAS A POOL SHARK?
HE DID GO TO COLLEGE ON A BILLIARDS SCHOLARSHIP.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
BECAUSE I JUST MADE 10 BUCKS.
YOU GOT TO GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GET EVEN.
WE'LL PLAY DARTS.
JESS, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, CAN'T YOU JUST LOSE GRACIOUSLY.
NO. ONE DART, DOUBLE OR NOTHING.
ALL RIGHT.
20 POINTS.
HA HA.
BEAT THAT, MINNESOTA SKINNY.
OKAY.
BULL'S-EYE.
WHAT?
SORRY, JESS. I MINORED IN DARTS.
HEY. THERE'S NO RUSH TO PAY ME.
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
HOLD IT, CHUMP. YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.
I GOTTA GET EVEN HERE. TRIPLE OR NOTHING. WE'LL--
I KNOW. WHOEVER SPINS AROUND THIS CHAIR
THE MOST TIMES IN 10 SECONDS WINS.
JESS, THIS IS PATHETIC.
SHUT UP AND TIME ME. GO.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7--
TIME.
EIGHT.
BEAT THAT.
JESS, ARE YOU SO DESPERATE TO BEAT ME AT SOMETHING,
THAT YOU'D LOWER YOURSELF TO SPINNING IN A CHAIR?
I'M NOT DOING THIS.
FORFEIT. I WIN. WE'RE EVEN. JOEY, CATCH ME.
OKAY, MICHELLE.
ARE YOU READY FOR THE YUMMIEST,
MOST DELICIOUS BOWL OF ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM
YOU EVER ATE IN YOUR LIFE?
ROCKY ROAD MAKES ME CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE COMES THE MARSHMALLOWS, THE ALMONDS,
THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS, THE...
OH, NO! ALL THE ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM IS GONE!
ALL THE ICE CREAM DISAPPEARED!
CALL THE POLICE. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
♪ HA HA HA HA HA ♪
♪ I FOOLED YOU ♪♪
THE ICE CREAM IS HIDDEN RIGHT OVER HERE
IN THIS DUCK.
THAT WAS A VERY MEAN TRICK.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAD TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.
NOW, YOU'LL NEVER FOOL ANYONE AGAIN. RIGHT, MICHELLE?
RIGHT. NOW START SCOOPING.
HI, GIRLS.
UH, DANNY, THROUGH PLAYING POOL?
YEAH.
JOEY AND JESSE ARE DOWN THERE SPINNING IN CHAIRS FOR QUARTERS.
I WAS KIND OF TOUGH ON D.J. TONIGHT.
I THINK I'D BETTER GO TALK TO HER.
NO. DON'T.
BAD IDEA.
KIDS AT THAT AGE, THEY'LL TUNE YOU RIGHT OUT.
YOU'LL TALK AND TALK AND TALK,
AND IT'LL BE LIKE SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE.
BECKY, DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON'T?
YES, I DO.
THE GESTATION PERIOD OF AN ELEPHANT IS 22 MONTHS.
ACTUALLY, I KNEW THAT.
DID YOU ALSO KNOW D.J.'S NOT UPSTAIRS?
NOW, THAT I DIDN'T KNOW.
DID SHE GO OUT WITH KIMMY AFTER I TOLD HER NOT TO?
I'M SORRY, DANNY.
I SORT OF TOLD HER SHE COULD.
BECKY, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND.
AND SHE JUST NEEDED 10 MINUTES TO TALK TO RYAN,
ALTHOUGH THAT WAS HALF AN HOUR AGO.
THERE GOES D.J.! D.J. IS OUTSIDE?
WHERE?
MICHELLE, DIDN'T YOU JUST LEARN
NOT TO MAKE UP STORIES?
THIS TIME I MADE UP THE TRUTH.
MICHELLE, IT'S OVER. GIVE IT UP.
THERE SHE GOES AGAIN!
THAT IS D.J.
I'M WAITING.
OK. I'M SORRY.
I LOVE TO BE RIGHT.
I THINK I'M GONNA GO HAVE THAT LITTLE TALK WITH D.J. RIGHT NOW.
HELLO, HONEY.
OH, HI, DAD.
I WAS JUST COMING DOWNSTAIRS TO STUDY.
THE LIGHTING'S SO MUCH BETTER.
D.J., I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO.
EXACTLY HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW?
LYING, SNEAKING OUT, MEETING BOYS.
DAD, WHERE DID WE GO WRONG WITH HER?
I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M OUT OF HERE.
BECKY, YOU TOLD ON ME?
DEEJ, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM AND GET COMFORTABLE.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE THERE FOR A WHILE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND.
DEEJ, WAIT.
DANNY,
LET ME TALK TO HER.
OK. BUT I'M NEXT.
BECKY, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
WHEN TEENAGERS REALLY WANT SOMETHING,
THEY HAVE A WAY OF BREAKING US DOWN.
I'LL GET STRONGER, DANNY. I PROMISE.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHAT?
DEEJ...
YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU KNOW, DEEJ,
YOU PROMISED YOU'D COME HOME IN 10 MINUTES AND YOU DIDN'T.
YOU PROMISED THAT YOU WOULDN'T TELL MY DAD.
D.J., YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
I GUESS I DID.
BUT RYAN AND I WERE REALLY GETTING ALONG.
I FIGURED YOU'D COVER FOR ME.
HONEY, I LOVE YOU,
AND I LOVE THAT WE CAN SPEND TIME TOGETHER
AND THAT WE CAN SHARE SECRETS,
BUT NOW THAT I'M LIVING HERE,
I'M AFRAID THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
IT'S A FLAW IN ME YOU'LL HAVE TO ACCEPT.
WELL, NOBODY'S PERFECT.
I'M REALLY SORRY, AUNT BECKY.
I'M SORRY, TOO.
I THINK I'D BETTER GO DOWNSTAIRS
AND APOLOGIZE TO DAD.
OH, WAIT. ONE QUESTION.
HOW DID IT GO TONIGHT WITH RYAN?
WELL, ONCE KIMMY LOCKED BITTERMAN IN THE CLOSET,
IT WAS SMOOTH SAILING.
DID YOU GET ANY STUDYING DONE?
YEAH, I STUDIED--
STUDIED HIS EYES, HIS HAIR,
HIS CUTE LITTLE DIMPLES.
TOO BAD THAT STUFF'S NOT ON THE TEST.
IT IS TOO BAD.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO VERY WELL
IF YOU DON'T HIT THOSE BOOKS.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE