1
00:00:04,022 --> 00:00:05,668
Hey, Fez, you know
what was awesome?

2
00:00:05,696 --> 00:00:07,681
That time
you rode that tree.

3
00:00:08,256 --> 00:00:09,923
How did he ride a tree?

4
00:00:10,323 --> 00:00:12,986
Oh, he climbed it,
Kelso cut it down.

5
00:00:14,489 --> 00:00:16,602
You guys have
a million stories

6
00:00:16,638 --> 00:00:19,080
and you know each other so well.
It's like you have your own language.

7
00:00:19,115 --> 00:00:21,050
I don't even understand
half the things you say.

8
00:00:21,696 --> 00:00:25,817
If you understand anything that Fez says,
you're the only one. Burn!

9
00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:32,911
Oh, Kelso can't understand me? Now I know
how it feels to be a book. Ah-burn!

10
00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:40,824
See? Man, I wanna burn somebody
so I can be part of the gang.

11
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:41,799
This gang?

12
00:00:42,198 --> 00:00:45,897
Angie, the only reason this gang formed
was because no one would let us into their gang.

13
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,386
We're like the chess club,

14
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,894
but better looking and...

15
00:00:51,505 --> 00:00:52,409
dumber.

16
00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:57,411
Hey.

17
00:00:57,632 --> 00:00:58,595
Hey.
Um,

18
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:01,965
so was there somethin' you wanted to say to me
the other day at the record store?

19
00:01:02,949 --> 00:01:06,542
Oh, yeah.
I wanted to talk to you about...

20
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,327
ABBA.

21
00:01:10,628 --> 00:01:11,426
ABBA?

22
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,278
No, you said you wanted
to talk about us.

23
00:01:15,923 --> 00:01:16,663
Right.

24
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,843
Our feelings
about ABBA.

25
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:22,555
You know what?

26
00:01:22,848 --> 00:01:25,725
Good. Great. Believe me, I don't
wanna talk about us, either.

27
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,732
Come on, Angie. We were supposed
to open the record store,

28
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,458
oh, about seven hours ago.

29
00:01:33,746 --> 00:01:37,244
You told me you wanted to tell Hyde
that you still love him and you wanted him back.

30
00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:39,604
Yeah, well, it's obvious
he doesn't want me back.

31
00:01:39,639 --> 00:01:42,211
So you better not tell him what
I said, or I'll be humiliated.

32
00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:44,829
My lips are a seal's.

33
00:01:47,847 --> 00:01:51,017
Don't you mean
that your lips are sealed?

34
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:53,542
I'm not hearing
the difference.

35
00:01:55,374 --> 00:01:58,481
Great. Anyways, you guys,
I have huge news.

36
00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:01,792
You know how Point Place cable
has that public access channel?

37
00:02:01,828 --> 00:02:05,385
Yeah! Donna, didn't your dad do, like,
a belly dancing show there?

38
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:11,357
He guest-hosted.
Shut up.

39
00:02:12,272 --> 00:02:13,036
Anyways,

40
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,985
I'm gonna have
my own show!

41
00:02:15,008 --> 00:02:16,769
Just like Mary Tyler Moore.

42
00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:20,832
Oh, except I won't stop for commercials 'cause
no one really wants to take a break from me.

43
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:25,528
I don't know. That week you were
in Florida.. That was a nice, quiet week.

44
00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:36,322
Have you been
in bed all day?

45
00:02:36,932 --> 00:02:37,719
Yeah, I have.

46
00:02:39,856 --> 00:02:43,275
I've been reading the Jack Kerouac
classic "On The Road."

47
00:02:43,804 --> 00:02:45,295
See, as I see it,

48
00:02:45,553 --> 00:02:46,986
why get out of bed

49
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:50,438
when you can read about people
who got outta bed?

50
00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:56,695
You have got to be the laziest
non-communist I've ever met.

51
00:02:58,433 --> 00:03:02,601
And you are about to read
a book that my foot wrote.

52
00:03:03,352 --> 00:03:06,061
It's called
"On The Road To In Your Ass."

53
00:03:08,562 --> 00:03:10,851
Okay, now, Red, please, let's

54
00:03:10,898 --> 00:03:13,620
hold off on the cursing
until happy hour.

55
00:03:15,557 --> 00:03:18,093
This year-off crap
better come to an end

56
00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:19,864
or I'm gonna put
you in a box

57
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,648
and mail ya to
the marines.

58
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,783
Oh, don't worry, honey.

59
00:03:24,807 --> 00:03:27,543
Your father's too cheap
to mail something that heavy.

60
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,943
He just wants you to have
some direction, and so do I.

61
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:36,287
And you are in luck because
I got the new issue of "Cosmo."

62
00:03:37,142 --> 00:03:41,016
Oh. Well, I'm just not sure I need
seven new ways to please my man.

63
00:03:46,697 --> 00:03:47,472
No.

64
00:03:47,871 --> 00:03:48,987
No.
Honey,

65
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,863
it's a job aptitude test.
Okay,

66
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,601
question number one:

67
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,572
Do you consider
yourself creative?

68
00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:58,660
- Well...
- Yes!

69
00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:02,335
You were a little
wiz at macaroni art.

70
00:04:03,439 --> 00:04:06,656
Do you prefer to work
alone or with others?

71
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:08,446
- Alone.
- Nope.

72
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,949
You love people.

73
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:13,248
Okay, question three:
Do you...

74
00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:14,951
Well, that's easy.

75
00:04:16,472 --> 00:04:19,255
Look, mom, I'm happy
just enjoying my world.

76
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,482
I'm like an explorer I'm exactly
like Christopher Columbus,

77
00:04:23,858 --> 00:04:25,022
except, you know,
I've

78
00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:27,922
I've been incredibly
distracted by television.

79
00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:31,550
Okay! All done.

80
00:04:32,349 --> 00:04:35,217
Now, according
to your answers...

81
00:04:38,281 --> 00:04:40,618
you should be a nurse!

82
00:04:44,253 --> 00:04:47,510
That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 16
"On with The Show"

83
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,853
Traduction par Guzo
Synchro par Kiff

84
00:04:50,895 --> 00:04:54,228
Merci à Raceman

85
00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:57,061
www.forom.com

86
00:04:57,162 --> 00:05:00,262
Preèasoval / Retiming
blsho

87
00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,770
Okay, Fez, since you're
helping me with set dressing,

88
00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:24,585
I want the set to reflect
my sparkling personality.

89
00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:26,053
I want it to say
"Jackie."

90
00:05:26,488 --> 00:05:28,871
Okay, let me see. Maybe some
glitter, a disco ball...

91
00:05:28,889 --> 00:05:31,660
uh-huh. I want a big sign
that says "Jackie."

92
00:05:34,619 --> 00:05:35,875
I hate this room.

93
00:05:36,556 --> 00:05:39,856
It reminds me of my dad dancing around
half-naked with finger cymbals.

94
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,856
Well, my show is
gonna be a news show

95
00:05:44,891 --> 00:05:46,617
all-nude or just topless?

96
00:05:49,693 --> 00:05:51,795
Not nude.. News!

97
00:05:51,841 --> 00:05:53,333
I'm not hearing the difference.

98
00:05:55,035 --> 00:05:58,241
Jackie, how are you gonna tell people
the news if you don't know any news?

99
00:05:58,393 --> 00:06:01,455
I know all the news that's really
important, like

100
00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:05,025
who's got a new car, what store is
having a sale on leggings

101
00:06:05,154 --> 00:06:06,176
and, uh,

102
00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:09,029
and if there'll ever
be peace in the middle-east.

103
00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:13,755
who am I kidding?
No one cares about China.

104
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:22,982
Hey, Eric, can I have
some of your fries?

105
00:06:23,005 --> 00:06:23,710
Sure.

106
00:06:23,757 --> 00:06:25,823
Well, I don't
want any. Burn!

107
00:06:28,794 --> 00:06:32,388
I think you're confusing
a burn with just talking.

108
00:06:36,486 --> 00:06:37,872
Eric, can I have some fries?

109
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,128
Yeah, help yourself.

110
00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:43,564
Burn!

111
00:06:46,652 --> 00:06:50,947
Yeah, um, I knew you were gonna
do that so I spit in 'em.  Burn!

112
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:56,866
Totally.

113
00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:58,087
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

114
00:06:58,393 --> 00:07:00,811
You ate his spit!
Burn!

115
00:07:05,743 --> 00:07:09,108
Uh, that's a piggyback burn.
We don't do that.

116
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:11,926
Come on Angie.

117
00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,934
You've gotta do inventory
in the store room

118
00:07:13,969 --> 00:07:16,118
and I gotta go
sleep behind a box.

119
00:07:17,119 --> 00:07:19,338
Man, you want to, uh,
catch a movie or something?

120
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,792
Nah. I gotta go down
to the police academy.

121
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,905
They're gonna teach me
what prisoners feel like.

122
00:07:23,941 --> 00:07:27,322
Guys are gonna handcuff me
to a flagpole for a few hours.

123
00:07:29,117 --> 00:07:31,864
It's not in the curriculum,
but they say it's required.

124
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,876
Hey, uh...

125
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,399
I'm sorry, are you reading
the new "Mighty Spectaculus"?

126
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:44,749
Yeah. You a fan?

127
00:07:45,642 --> 00:07:48,530
When trouble arrives
by car or bus, we summon...

128
00:07:48,565 --> 00:07:51,993
- The mighty spectaculus!
- The mighty spectaculus!

129
00:07:54,635 --> 00:07:55,986
They call me
Eric Forman.

130
00:07:56,795 --> 00:07:58,861
Stew Bailey.
No relation to beetle.

131
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:02,619
Hey, Stew, I mean,
if you're interested,

132
00:08:02,658 --> 00:08:06,317
they're havin'a spectaculus spectacular
down at the atomic comic book nook.

133
00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:08,952
You're probably..

134
00:08:09,104 --> 00:08:10,877
You probably have to get
back to work or something.

135
00:08:11,136 --> 00:08:13,308
I don't have to be anywhere.
I don't have a job.

136
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:14,811
How old are you?

137
00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:18,204
Well, let's just say I'm two years
older than professor Reveng-O.

138
00:08:19,613 --> 00:08:20,764
36.

139
00:08:23,323 --> 00:08:24,768
S-so then, Stew,

140
00:08:25,498 --> 00:08:26,883
what do you do all day?

141
00:08:27,471 --> 00:08:28,633
You're lookin' at it.

142
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,634
Oh, we're gonna
be good friends.

143
00:08:40,971 --> 00:08:41,640
Fez,

144
00:08:42,446 --> 00:08:45,217
Jackie's show is about to start.
Aren't you supposed to be helping her?

145
00:08:45,252 --> 00:08:49,268
She asked me to make a giant sign with her
name on it, so I said, "You got it baby!"

146
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:51,604
so then I went
to get some ice cream

147
00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:54,551
and then I went to play
some space invaders

148
00:08:54,586 --> 00:08:57,075
and, um, and then I came
here to watch the show.

149
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:03,545
I could never be on TV,
unless it was Johnny Carson

150
00:09:03,578 --> 00:09:08,403
Because I have a very funny story about
a cheeto that looked just like Jesus.

151
00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:17,729
So, Fez...

152
00:09:19,162 --> 00:09:21,486
You've been hanging out
a lot lately with Jackie.

153
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:25,205
Any idea what she wanted to talk to me about
at the record store the other day?

154
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:29,033
Um, I don't know. I was there.
I mean, I-I wasn't there. I, uh...

155
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:33,093
I was, uh, I was away...

156
00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:36,709
on business.

157
00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:45,987
Well, if she wanted to get back together,
that's something I wouldn't mind knowing.

158
00:09:46,151 --> 00:09:48,723
So why don't you just go
ahead and spill the beans?

159
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:50,742
Beans?

160
00:09:52,348 --> 00:09:53,992
What beans?

161
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,268
The only beans
are in your head,

162
00:09:57,303 --> 00:09:59,252
You little bean-head!

163
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:04,796
Anyway..

164
00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:10,608
I opened the bag, and there he was:
the beard and everything.

165
00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:13,937
Oh, Oh!

166
00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:16,086
Jackie's
about to start.

167
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:18,105
Okay, Jackie,
are you ready?

168
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,817
Yeah, of course. I've got
this thing's down path.

169
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:23,117
Okay, so after
the weather report,

170
00:10:23,152 --> 00:10:25,301
I'm gonna get into the problem
with the spirit squad.

171
00:10:25,465 --> 00:10:26,604
They're all fat.

172
00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:29,398
That's my commentary.
I'm anti-fat.

173
00:10:30,056 --> 00:10:30,723
Okay.

174
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,940
Ten seconds until you're on the air,
offending thousands of people.

175
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,897
Thousands of people?

176
00:10:38,061 --> 00:10:40,838
In 5... 4... 3...

177
00:10:47,131 --> 00:10:48,774
You didn't say 2 or 1.

178
00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:50,688
It's because you're on now!

179
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:52,494
Well, but I'm not...

180
00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:55,981
Hi.

181
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:59,551
I'm Backie Jurkhart.

182
00:10:59,821 --> 00:11:01,016
Jackie Burkhart!

183
00:11:01,063 --> 00:11:02,308
- What?
- It's your name!

184
00:11:02,343 --> 00:11:04,304
- I know what my name
- you said Backie Jurkhart.

185
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:05,913
Okay, stop talking
or you're fired!

186
00:11:07,108 --> 00:11:07,942
Fine.

187
00:11:08,611 --> 00:11:09,679
You're on your own.

188
00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:11,488
I'm what?

189
00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:16,055
Oh dear...

190
00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:19,178
She's not so good.

191
00:11:21,151 --> 00:11:23,429
She's sweatin'
like Muhammed Ali

192
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,736
cut to her boobs.

193
00:11:31,039 --> 00:11:32,765
Oh, who's directing
this thing?

194
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,404
Well, guess we can't just sit and talk
about comic books all day.

195
00:11:49,082 --> 00:11:50,796
Let's do some"star wars" trivia. Go.

196
00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:53,074
Oh, I got a stumper.

197
00:11:53,226 --> 00:11:55,493
Who is Luke and
Obi-Wan's nemesis at...

198
00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:57,334
Doctor Evazan.

199
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,774
Man, you're good.

200
00:12:01,479 --> 00:12:03,052
Look, let me ask you a question.

201
00:12:03,851 --> 00:12:05,375
Some people think that

202
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:08,780
if I keep living, you know,
"without a purpose"

203
00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,372
that I'll be all,

204
00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:12,978
I don't know,
unfulfilled and stuff.

205
00:12:14,962 --> 00:12:17,264
Do you ever
feel unfulfilled?

206
00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:21,350
I've seen "Star Wars"
in seven different states.

207
00:12:22,371 --> 00:12:25,436
I even met the midget
that they stuck inside R2-D2.

208
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,835
What could be more
fulfilling than that?

209
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:31,947
I don't know.

210
00:12:33,988 --> 00:12:35,303
Hey, dorks.

211
00:12:35,385 --> 00:12:38,357
Listen, uh, Angie had
a really rough day at work,

212
00:12:38,381 --> 00:12:42,984
so I'm gonna rub her feet and you might wanna
clear out before I start rubbin' other stuff.

213
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,249
Eric, come over later.
We'll game.

214
00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:48,081
Who was that guy?

215
00:12:48,198 --> 00:12:49,126
That's this guy St..

216
00:12:49,149 --> 00:12:51,098
I don't care! Burn!

217
00:12:58,003 --> 00:13:02,747
Angie, you're cute as a button,
but you burn like a botard.

218
00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:10,307
Look, if you wanna burn someone, you gotta
embarrass them to make other people laugh.

219
00:13:10,342 --> 00:13:14,827
You want to combine the elements
of humiliation and surprise.

220
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,536
Dude, what the hell?

221
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:22,476
Burn!

222
00:13:26,754 --> 00:13:27,634
Oh, hey.

223
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,088
Jackie, uh,
I saw your show.

224
00:13:30,124 --> 00:13:32,754
It isn't as good
as a lot of other shows.

225
00:13:35,243 --> 00:13:35,865
No.

226
00:13:37,072 --> 00:13:40,313
It was great for people who think
regular TV is too entertaining.

227
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,575
I freaked out.

228
00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:48,505
I mean, the cameras turned on
and I realized I'm completely alone.

229
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,192
I'm alone on TV
and I'm alone in real life.

230
00:13:54,153 --> 00:13:55,644
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

231
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:03,314
Burn!

232
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:07,845
Oh, my god!

233
00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:12,456
Uh...

234
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:18,221
uh, I forgot to tell you the part about you
don't burn someone who's already crying.

235
00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:25,164
Okay,

236
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:28,299
best side kick..
Robin or Aqualad?

237
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:29,494
Ooh.

238
00:14:29,976 --> 00:14:32,923
Uh, toughie. Is the villain
they're fighting terrestrial

239
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:34,062
or Aquatic?

240
00:14:35,189 --> 00:14:39,158
Stewie, you didn't tell me
you were having a friend over.

241
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,938
Eric, this is my mom.

242
00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,493
Y-you still live
with your mom?

243
00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:53,299
Oh, she's more
than just my mother.

244
00:14:53,346 --> 00:14:54,814
She's my best friend.

245
00:14:57,491 --> 00:14:59,663
She's your best friend?!

246
00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:02,274
Well,

247
00:15:02,309 --> 00:15:04,387
you're givin' her
a run for her money.

248
00:15:06,935 --> 00:15:08,027
Okay, I gotta go.

249
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,692
Are you sure?

250
00:15:09,774 --> 00:15:14,400
I was about to make sandwiches
in the shape of x-wing fighters.

251
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:16,608
Uh,

252
00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:19,169
no, really. Well...
no, I gotta go.

253
00:15:27,439 --> 00:15:28,661
What are you doin'?

254
00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:30,845
I'm throwin' out
all my comic books.

255
00:15:35,224 --> 00:15:37,112
I saw my future today and...

256
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,754
well, it's living
with its mother.

257
00:15:45,296 --> 00:15:47,977
Yeah, well, I saw my future
and it sweats.

258
00:15:50,126 --> 00:15:51,288
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

259
00:15:51,746 --> 00:15:52,756
You sweat?

260
00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,723
Uh, would you happen to
have a picture, some

261
00:15:56,758 --> 00:15:58,507
tape of this that
I could laugh at?

262
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,594
Eric, I tried to have
my own TV show,

263
00:16:02,652 --> 00:16:03,780
and I failed.

264
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,079
My life is over. I'm not
good enough to be on TV.

265
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:08,923
No, Jackie...

266
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:12,844
Okay, come on.

267
00:16:13,057 --> 00:16:14,501
You're good-looking,

268
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:18,282
you're incredibly superficial
and you lie constantly.

269
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,674
I think you're
perfect for TV.

270
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:27,103
Do you really think so?

271
00:16:27,139 --> 00:16:27,878
Yeah.

272
00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:29,557
I mean...

273
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:33,221
Jeez, look, at least you're
doing something with your life.

274
00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:36,455
I have wasted
an entire year.

275
00:16:36,502 --> 00:16:37,900
Eric, let me stop
you right there,

276
00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:41,915
okay? Since you were kind enough to
cheer me up when my spirits were low,

277
00:16:42,432 --> 00:16:43,935
I'm gonna go.
Thanks!

278
00:16:54,588 --> 00:16:56,196
Hey, Forman, let me
ask you a question.

279
00:16:56,901 --> 00:16:58,568
What do you think
about me and Jackie?

280
00:16:59,437 --> 00:17:01,269
Well, man, you
know what I think.

281
00:17:01,797 --> 00:17:03,864
I think that Jackie
is evil incarnate.

282
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:08,323
I think that if you were to cut
off one of her hands, it would

283
00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:10,319
probably grow back
into another Jackie.

284
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:15,058
Look, before Jackie,

285
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,486
you were just some
pissed-off guy in my basement.

286
00:17:19,977 --> 00:17:21,292
But with her...

287
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:24,775
I mean, you seemed
happy, man.

288
00:17:25,515 --> 00:17:26,888
Hey, I was never happy.

289
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,540
I was just less pissed off.

290
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:32,816
Hyde...

291
00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:38,805
I lied to you when I told you
that I was away on business.

292
00:17:43,008 --> 00:17:43,795
No.

293
00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:48,797
Yes.

294
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,650
And I know what Jackie
wanted to tell you.

295
00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:55,646
She still loves you.

296
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,219
What?

297
00:17:57,630 --> 00:18:00,361
Yeah. She said she was wrong
and that she wanted you back.

298
00:18:00,631 --> 00:18:01,958
She was vulnerable,

299
00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:04,236
so I tried
to french her.

300
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:08,933
But no-go.

301
00:18:15,285 --> 00:18:16,553
Shouldn't Jackie
be here by now?

302
00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:19,063
Yeah. She's supposed to
go on in, like, a minute.

303
00:18:19,345 --> 00:18:20,989
I don't think
she's gonna show up.

304
00:18:21,494 --> 00:18:22,140
What?

305
00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:28,174
No! But we were gonna do
this whole segment on sluts.

306
00:18:29,631 --> 00:18:31,368
And I was gonna be
the slut expert.

307
00:18:31,384 --> 00:18:33,822
That's the only kind of expert
I'm ever gonna be!

308
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,261
Hey. Jackie, I can't believe
you showed up.

309
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,724
I can't believe i showed up.

310
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:42,990
What am I doing with my life?

311
00:18:43,295 --> 00:18:45,491
Okay, come on, people.
We got a show to do.

312
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:47,299
okay.
In 3...

313
00:18:50,822 --> 00:18:51,621
Hi,

314
00:18:51,703 --> 00:18:55,049
I'm Jackie Burkhart, and here's
all the news you need to know.

315
00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:57,128
This just in:
slacks are out.

316
00:18:57,175 --> 00:19:00,004
So, ladies, shave those
legs and put on a skirt!

317
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,103
Up next,

318
00:19:03,327 --> 00:19:07,812
senior correspondent michael Kelso joins me
for a very exciting segment I like to call

319
00:19:07,843 --> 00:19:08,759
"Slut

320
00:19:09,076 --> 00:19:10,109
or not."

321
00:19:10,556 --> 00:19:11,577
Michael, welcome.

322
00:19:11,612 --> 00:19:12,634
Hi, Jackie.

323
00:19:13,268 --> 00:19:14,078
Ladies.

324
00:19:15,381 --> 00:19:16,826
Okay,
let's get started.

325
00:19:18,493 --> 00:19:19,944
Marcy Cavanaugh.

326
00:19:20,613 --> 00:19:21,459
Slut.

327
00:19:23,302 --> 00:19:24,453
Susie Rice.

328
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:26,423
Slut.

329
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,439
Hey, could you
zoom out a sec?

330
00:19:31,965 --> 00:19:33,797
Ooh, Jenny Keene.

331
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:37,730
Partly slutty with a chance
of severe sluttiness.

332
00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:43,719
Angie, what the hell?!

333
00:19:43,907 --> 00:19:44,646
Burn?

334
00:19:47,159 --> 00:19:47,957
Burn!

335
00:19:50,646 --> 00:19:51,586
Well,

336
00:19:52,231 --> 00:19:55,507
there you have it, America...
your first televised burn.

337
00:19:55,554 --> 00:19:58,781
Up next, a hard-hitting segment
called "Girls with moustaches."

338
00:19:58,816 --> 00:20:01,176
Don't touch that dial,
sherry papadakis!

339
00:20:09,766 --> 00:20:10,940
Hey, man,
is Jackie around?

340
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:11,668
Hey.

341
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,876
Yeah, but I thought
you weren't talking to her.

342
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,784
you're gonna make up
with her, aren't you?

343
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,292
Oh, you're gonna tell
her that you love her!

344
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:27,743
And your little sunglasses
are gonna get all fogged up.

345
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:31,289
Jackie, there's someone
here to see you.

346
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:33,578
Hey.

347
00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:36,672
Uh, I thought maybe
we would talk for a minute.

348
00:20:36,848 --> 00:20:38,339
Is it about my show?

349
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:40,823
'Cause it was awesome!
Steven,

350
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:44,169
I went on and I did great,
and I did it on my own!

351
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,487
I mean, I've never been more
proud of myself in my entire life.

352
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:49,744
I'm gonna do
great on my own.

353
00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,480
I'm sorry. What did you want
to talk to me about?

354
00:20:54,124 --> 00:20:54,746
Well,

355
00:20:54,946 --> 00:20:55,777
um...

356
00:20:59,488 --> 00:21:02,047
I just wanted to say
congratulations on your show.

357
00:21:03,503 --> 00:21:04,689
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

358
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,687
Did you see Michael
with his pants down?

359
00:21:11,926 --> 00:21:12,572
No.

360
00:21:14,521 --> 00:21:16,655
But I don't need
a TV to see that.

361
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:18,975
Bye.

362
00:21:23,977 --> 00:21:25,409
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

363
00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:29,437
and welcome to the full
half-hour of "Slut or not."

364
00:21:29,695 --> 00:21:33,194
I've got a phone book here and a wealth
of experience with fooling around,

365
00:21:33,229 --> 00:21:34,661
so let's get started.

366
00:21:35,178 --> 00:21:36,666
"Beverly Addison."

367
00:21:36,701 --> 00:21:39,930
I don't know her personally,
but I've heard she has a tattoo.

368
00:21:39,954 --> 00:21:42,149
So congratulations,
Beverly Addison.

369
00:21:42,173 --> 00:21:43,969
You are a slut.

370
00:21:45,202 --> 00:21:47,903
What the hell
happened to this country?

371
00:21:49,906 --> 00:21:53,499
I know Beverly Addison, and
I'm glad somebody finally said it.