♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?
♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪
TEMPERANCE SEVEN: ♪ You, you're driving me crazy
♪ What did I do?
♪ Oh, what did I do?
♪ My tears for you
♪ Make everything hazy
♪ Clouding a sky... of... blue. ♪
Oi! What are you up to out here, Claude?
Minding my own!
But if you must know, I'm doin' an old pal a favour.
Do you mind telling me summat.
What?
Why is it all you coppers have got such nasty suspicious minds.
Well, that's because of all the nasty suspicious characters
we have to deal with.
Right, son. Hey, don't talk to any strangers.
♪ You
♪ You're driving me crazy.
♪ What did I do to you-oo-oo? ♪
Morning, Sgt Blaketon. (LAUGHS)
Out of the way. Go on. That's it.
PIGS SNORT AND SQUEAL
SIGH
What's your game, then?
You're Mrs. Such, is it?
It's not Tom Mix.
Arthur asked me to give you this.
Arthur asked you?
Oh yeah. Arthur, your husband. Before he died, like. Obviously.
Not a bill, is it?
No, no. It's... it's summat you can take advantage of.
PIGS SNORT
- Simon! - What?
Come here!
Heh, heh, heh! You'll never go to heaven, Claude.
Read this!
From my dad.
What seems to be the problem?
It's Karen here, Doctor.
Over these last few weeks,
I just don't know what's happened to her, honest to God I don't.
I've told you mum, there's nothin' wrong with me.
Yes, there is, doctor.
She can't sleep, she's not eating.
She must have lost at least half a stone in weight.
Cos I've been trying to lose weight. That's why.
Doesn't look to me as if you need to lose any weight at all, Karen.
Let me take your blood pressure.
Take your jacket off.
There's nothing wrong with my blood pressure!
There's nothing wrong with me.
Then there's nothing to worry about, is there?
Just turn your hand round.
I mean, it's just stupid, is this.
PUMPING
Fine.
If you'd like to wait outside, please, Karen.
How's she been of herself lately, Mrs. Fletcher?
I mean, has she been sleepy or depressed?
Excessively talkative perhaps?
Oh, very talkative, yes.
Usually you can't get more than two words a day out of her.
But just lately, you can't seem to shut her up.
Is she moody at all?
Ooh, up and down like a yo-yo.
One minute she's full of it,
and the next, ready to bite your head off over nothing.
You haven't found anything in her room, have you?
What sort of thing?
Paper wrappings? Powders? Pills?
Well, as a matter of fact, there was something I found
when I were doing her room out last week.
Oh, yes?
Black Bombers?
That's what they sounded like, from the way Mrs. Fletcher described them.
What did Karen have to say?
She told her mum they were a new tablet
her school pals were using to help with their periods.
Mrs. Fletcher didn't like the sound of that
so she flushed them down the toilet.
- That's a pity. - Oh, that's what I thought.
So what did Karen have to say?
She stuck to her story.
Well, there is not much we can do about it, is there.
Except keep an eye on the situation.
I'll drop in on them in a couple of days
and if she still showing any of the same symptoms,
I'll pass it over to you officially.
Hm. How old is she?
Fourteen, going on 35.
They're getting younger.
I know.
- See you later. - See you.
CHINK OF METAL
SCREECH
SLOW TYPING
DOOR OPENS I'm in here, love.
Oh, my gosh.
I really think we should get you over to Casualty.
I told you Kate, the helmet took the force of most of it.
Yeah, but you could still have concussion.
Well, if I have, there's a doctor in the house, isn't there?
How bad is it, anyway?
Well, there's a big crack down the middle
with the orbital brain tissue glistening through.
Apart from that...
Alright, it looked a lot worse than it was.
But I still think you should have an X-ray.
I've had worse than this playing football.
Better safe than sorry.
If I've got any sort of headaches tomorrow,
I'll go straight to the hospital, alright?
And you've no idea who it was?
No. All I saw were stars.
We've never had grave robbers in Aidensfield.
Ow!
All a bit gruesome, eh?
I don't suppose you have any idea why this
particular grave might have been singled out?
D'you think that it was?
It wasn't just a random attack?
Well, it's impossible to say, really.
Poor Mr. Such was only buried a couple of days ago, you know.
- Really? - Oh, yes.
I conducted the service myself.
Was he a parishioner?
Only in the very loosest sense, I suppose.
He wasn't exactly what you might call a regular attender.
He was a pig-farmer, you know.
Two and nine pence?
There you are. Ta.
Mind you, he was into muckier things than pigs in his day,
was our late and ill lamented Arthur Such.
He was what you called known to us, was he?
You could say that, Rowan.
Petty larceny, receiving, you name it.
I reckoned he'd had gone on the game with Arthur
if he found anyone that fancied him.
Betty must have fancied him.
- Ah, she was just desperate. - Who's Betty?
Mrs. Arthur Such, the grieving widow.
Better known as Sweaty Betty.
By anyone unlucky enough to stand downwind of it.
Who'd want to dig her husband up?
Why don't you ask her, Rowan.
She'll need informing anyway about what's happened.
Carry on.
He's done it again.
Excuse me.
Yeah?
Uh, PC Rowan, Aidensfield Police. Is Mrs. Such in?
Barn.
Beg your pardon?
Preparing feed for t'pigs.
Oh.
Well, I 'ope you're proud of yourself.
That's what I hope.
Me, Mrs. Such?
Ah, that's what you get paid for, ain't it?
Keeping the peace around here?
Not making much of a job of it, are you?
Even the dead can't rest in peace anymore.
I don't suppose you have any idea who might have done it?
Me?
Well, what I mean is, did your husband have any enemies
who might have been responsible?
Enough to fill Wembley Stadium, lovey.
But as far as I know,
there were never any body-snatchers amongst 'em.
Well, if you do think of anyone, let me know, eh.
I will.
Right.
We should've finished t'job last night while we had the chance.
What? After you nearly brained PC 49 yonder, you mean?
And as for that lowlife father of yours.
If he thinks he's had the last laugh on me...
...think again, Arthur! Think again.
Leave it alone!
♪ When I kissed you on your lips I knew
♪ That you were made
♪ You were made
♪ You were made for me! ♪
And that was Freda and the Dreamers.
And here's another one you might remember.
Billy J Kramer and "Bad To Me".
♪ ...I'll be sad and blue
♪ Don't you ever leave me
♪ I'm so in love with you
♪ The birds in the sky Would be sad and lonely
♪ If they knew that I'd lost my one and only
♪ They'd be sad
♪ If you're bad to me
♪ The leaves on the trees would be softly sighing... ♪
Remember, go quietly!
♪ ...and here I'll stay
♪ Here I'll stay
Well, that's all for the evening, kids.
Uh, this is Tiny Weedon saying "night night"
"sleep tight, watch the books don't bite."
Right, come on you lot, off your bums.
- Evening, Gina. - Hi, Nick. Just coming up a pint?
I should be so lucky! George still away, is he?
Till Friday, yeah.
You coping okay?
Ah, just about.
All quiet on the Western Front, is it?
It's been deafening tonight.
Oh, Nicholas, have you got anybody for it yet?
What?
That job somebody did on my pal's grave.
You knew Arthur Such, did you?
Oh, aye we go back a long way.
We had some good laughs together.
A right little so-and-so, he was, I can tell you.
As long as you watched your pockets, eh?
Ah, you could say that, yeah.
I don't suppose you'd have any idea who might have done it?
Me?
Well, seeing as you're a friend of the family.
No, I said I was a friend of Arthur's, not a friend of the family.
I mean, have you seen his missus?
Can you imagine big Betty grabbing hold of you in the middle of the night!
No wonder he went to an early grave.
Now then, lads...
YELLS
- Oh, no! - He's not dead, is he?
Knocked himself out, I reckon.
Go on, get it!
Come on! Let's get out of here!
Graham!
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
A man's been hurt!
Send somebody quick! I think he might be dead.
Send someone where though?
Behind the village hall.
Who's speaking, please?
Hello? Hello?
Come on! Come on!
How is he, Kate?
You won't get any sense out of him tonight.
He's out of danger, but he's still concussed.
Must be something in the air around here this week.
- Obviously. - Who is he?
Tiny Weedon. He's a disc jockey.
Do you know him?
Well, I know of him. His name's on a poster down at the village hall.
So, who did you get the phone call from?
A young girl. She wouldn't give her name.
Someone from the disco?
Could have been. The voice sounded familiar somehow.
Why didn't she give you her name?
Didn't want to get involved.
Which probably means she was involved, in some way or another.
How's your head?
PHONE RINGS
Aidensfield Police.
Yes, Mr. Simms.
What, again?
They nicked his shroud?
It wasn't a shroud he was buried in, sarge. It was his best suit.
And they took that?
No, Sarge. Just his trousers.
I knew things were getting bad,
but I've no idea anyone out there was that desperate.
You're not really going to burn 'em, are you mam.
They are trousers, aren't these?
Oh, what did you have in mind?
Goin' down the pub in them?
Well, we could sell 'em, couldn't we?
Don't you realize it's incriminating evidence.
Seems such a waste, that's all.
So do eighteen months when you spending 'em behind bars.
Give 'em me here, you daft dollop!
Mam, it's that copper again.
I had a funny feeling it might be.
It's coming to summat, eh, when they're even robbin' the dead now.
Not that I'm surprised, mind you.
- No? - Oh no.
People have no respect for the living or the dead these days.
As far as I'm concerned,
the rot set in after that Lady Chatterley's business.
Have you read it? It's disgusting, honestly!
I'll have to take your word for that, Mrs. Such.
Oh, you ought, you know.
They've got a copy down the library.
There's a bit of a waiting list, mind.
So you've no idea who'd might have wanted to nick
your late husband's trousers?
Eeh, but you will keep asking me these daft questions, won't you, lovey!
The trousers did match the jacket he was buried in?
How would I know? Weren't me who dressed him.
Well you must have seen what he was wearing?
Lovey, I couldn't stand the sight of him when he were alive.
So there were no way I were going lookin' at him when he were dead.
Right. Okay. Thanks very much.
You're welcome.
Eh, aren't our police wonderful?
Who's laughin' now, then, Arthur?
Who was it undressed me when I was brought in last night?
As a matter of fact, I did.
Oh, not a pretty sight, right?
- You said it. - Thank you.
Um... what happened to my clothes?
What, thinking of leaving?
No, no, I just wanted something out of one of my coat pocket, that was all.
I promise not to decamp.
Right.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Doctor.
How are you?
Nicely, thanks.
- And Karen? - Oh, she's much better, thanks.
Back to her old self, really.
That's good.
Hello, Karen!
Hi.
Your mum tells me you're feeling a lot better now.
I told you.
There were never anything wrong with me in the first place.
See ya.
Twenty words for one they have these days, don't they.
Does Karen ever go dancing?
Just down the disco at village hall.
Lost something have you, Mr. Weedon?
Uh, no, no. All seems to be here. Thank you.
- Mr. Weedon? - Yes?
- PC Rowan, Aidensfield Police. - Oh, right.
Are you feeling fit enough for a bit of a chat?
Yeah, but I don't remember much about it, man.
You remember being attacked?
Oh, aye. Jumped on by these three lads.
How old were they?
Teenagers. You know, sixteen, something like that.
So what happened?
Well, I'd just finished my gig.
I was on my way back to the van.
And all of a sudden, there they were.
- What did they say? - Nothing.
They just laid into you?
Huh, well put it this way.
I could see that's what they had in mind,
so I legged it.
I must have tripped up or something.
The next thing I remember is being here.
Did you recognise them?
No. Too dark to say.
Had there been much trouble back at the disco?
No, there's never been any trouble at my discos.
So why did they have a go at you?
Well, I suppose it could have been my wallet.
They might have know I was carrying it.
I always insist on being paid in cash.
But they didn't take it.
Probably too scared, I reckon when they saw the state I was in.
Did they take anything else?
Nothing, no.
You know, it was a young girl that called us.
I didn't know that, no.
Don't supposed you have any idea who it might be?
Let me put it this way, officer. She certainly wasn't with me!
Could you tell me why you want to see the bank manager, please?
POSH ACCENT: Our safe-deposit box.
I believe we do have one with you.
(Mind you, the last time I looked at it, it were empty.)
If you could just hold on for a moment, please?
Oo, they really fancy themselves.
Just cos they come to work in a frock.
Mrs. Such?
That's correct. And this is my son, Simon.
Now, as far as this deposit box of yours is concerned,
I shall of course, need proof of identity.
I think you'll find it's all there.
We shall also need the appropriate key.
Right. If you'd both like to come this way, please.
THEME FROM "GOLDFINGER"
Right, Mrs. Such. I'll leave you to it.
Thank you.
♪ Goldfinger!
♪ He's the man, The man with the Midas touch
♪ A spider's touch
♪ Such a cold finger... ♪
Blimey, Mam. We're rich.
♪ But don't go in! ♪
- Karen Fletcher. - Eh?
The young girl who rang, it was Karen Fletcher.
What, the girl who had the amphetamines?
Ya, and according to her mother, she was at the disco.
So what was she doing hanging around the back of the village hall
at that time of night.
When you rang, why didn't you give my wife your name, Karen?
Cos it wasn't me who rang, that's why.
- But you were at the disco? - What if I was?
And when you left the disco, did you go straight home?
- Yeah. - What time was that?
Eleven o'clock, something like that.
And how long does it take to walk home, about five minutes?
Suppose so.
The disco finished at 10.30.
So?
So if you'd come straight home,
you'd have been home by twenty to eleven at the latest.
I suppose so.
Is that when she arrived home, Mrs. Fletcher?
No, it wasn't.
What time was it?
Well, it was certainly after eleven.
How would you know, mum? You were in bed.
But not asleep, Karen.
I can never get off till I know you're in safely.
It was you that rang us, wasn't it, Karen?
Look, it's got nothing to do with me, alright!
Tell me what you saw.
I just found him, that's all.
You know Tiny Weedon, do you?
From the disco, that's all. All the kids do.
And what about the kids who attacked him?
Do you know them as well?
That's what this is about, isn't it, Karen? Not splitting on your mates?
They aren't mates.
But you do know them?
Look. They didn't really do anything to him.
He banged his own head.
And then they just ran off, did they?
After they'd gone through his pockets.
- Did they find anything? - They took something, yeah.
What are their names, Karen?
One of them's called Graham.
- Graham what? - I don't know.
I dance with him sometimes, that's all.
- Well, you must speak to him. - Sometimes.
What about?
Music. School.
He's still at school, is he?
Yeah.
Which school?
Two large rums.
Thank you.
And whatever this fella's having.
Very kind of you, Mrs. Such.
What're you going to have, Claude?
I'll have a small whisky with you.
You'll have a large whisky with me.
Alright. Put it in with the little 'un.
You and my Arthur were pals, were you?
Well, not exactly pals. More like acquaintances, you know.
Well, he must have liked you, to have given you that letter for me.
Aye, well. You know what Arthur was like.
He's a bit like me. He liked everybody.
Said what he did like and that were a drink.
Right. Ah, well, we uh...
We had some good times together, like you know, he liked a laugh.
Well, is he laughing now, though? I mean, that's the question, eh?
Don't eat the blue ones. They're salty.
While you're at it, put a couple of bottles of rum in as well, will ye love.
Right.
Party time, is it?
Join us if you like. There's plenty.
Uh, no, no, I'd better not.
I've got a bit of business on. I need a nice clear head.
You can get this a lot cheaper at the off-licence you know.
Don't you worry about that, my girl.
Well, in that case, the beer and the rum,
that's just nineteen pounds, please.
There you are. Keep the change.
Thanks very much.
Sure we can't tempt you then, Claude?
Uh, no, no, I'd better not, thank you.
In that case, I'll see you when I see you, then.
(Not if I see you first.)
Mind you, not a bad bit o' business for a quiet dinnertime, innit?
Not bad at all.
That's Graham Blaketon over there, you see, doing the experiment.
Blaketon, did you say?
That's the only Graham we have in 6A.
That wouldn't be Sgt Blaketon's son, would it?
I believe his father is a policeman, yes. Over at Ashfordly.
A bit of a mess, isn't it?
I didn't even know he was married.
Don't you start.
There's a lot you youngsters don't know.
Right Rowan, my office.
Best keep our heads down, I reckon.
Sarge, all I had was a first name, and the class he was in at school.
If I'd known it was your lad, I'd been on you straightaway.
Nobody's criticising you, Rowan.
Where have you got him? Not in the cells, I hope.
In the interview room.
Right. Well, there's no way I can handle this, so get on to Division.
Explain the situation
and tell them to send someone to take over.
Right, Sarge.
Oh, one question before you do.
How certain are you that Graham is involved?
Well, the girl was very certain, Sarge.
What do you think, Rowan?
Well, from the look on his face when his headmaster called him over...
So, what's he had to say for himself so far?
Oh, nothing yet.
He lives with his mother, you see.
And me and Joan, we er...
we split up some years ago.
She been informed yet?
On her way now.
Right. Well, when she gets here tell Ventress to, er,
wheel her in to see me, will you?
Right, Sarge.
I'm sorry about all this, Sarge.
So am I.
KNOCKING
- Hello, Gina. - Hiya. Is Nick in?
He's not in at the moment, no.
I can get hold of him though, if it's urgent.
Well I suppose it is, really.
- Come in. - Thanks.
So what's the problem?
Oh, these are.
I don't know what George is gonna say when he gets back.
Counterfeit?
I don't supposed you know who passed them?
Alright. I'm on my way.
All happening again, is it? Over in Aidensfield.
You don't know the half of it, Phil. I'll see you later.
- Alf? - Right, Nick.
Excuse me.
Oh, it's uh, Mrs. Blaketon, isn't it?
Forrester now, actually.
Oh yes, of course.
I believe you're holding my son here.
Yes, Mrs. Forrester.
Can somebody please tell me what all this is about?
Well, I think that Sergeant Blaketon would like to have a word.
If you'd like to come this way, please.
Sarge... Mrs. Forrester.
Oscar, would you kindly explain to me what's going on here?
Well, if you'd like to take a seat for a minute, I'll tell you.
Well?
Well...
...this is difficult.
Last night, there was a disco in Aidensfield.
And afterwards, on the way back to his van
the man who was running it was attacked by three youths.
And we have reason to believe
that Graham might have been one of them.
What? You're not serious?
It's hardly something I'd joke about now, is it.
But Graham would never do anything like that.
Now, where was he last night?
- Out with his friends. - Where?
I don't know, do I? I don't keep track of his every movement.
We have a witness, you see. Says he was involved.
I don't care if you've got ten witnesses.
Has he admitted that he was?
Not so far, no.
Well, there you are, then.
Not necessarily, Joan.
What are you saying, Oscar?
That you believe he was involved?
I don't know.
Well what are you going to do about it?
I'm not even handling this.
How can I, under the circumstances?
Oh, who is handling it?
Well, they made arrangements for someone from Division to take over.
Oh yes.
And have you made any arrangements yet?
For him to have any kind of legal representation?
- No. - Oh, why haven't you?
I was only brought in half an hour ago.
Besides, I've no idea who your solicitor is these days.
I want to see him.
Now.
Right. Oh, just one final thing before you do.
Oh?
If he really is involved,
can I suggest that you advise him to make a clean breast of it.
It can only help his cause later on.
You really don't change, do you, Oscar?
What's that supposed to mean?
That's still the only thing that really matters to you, isn't it?
Getting a conviction.
Do you really believe that?
Oh, why not?
It's how it always was with you.
That's bloody ridiculous. Also unfair.
I want to see my son.
Right.
Bellamy! Show Mrs. Forrester the interview room.
Right sarge. If you like to come this way?
(SIGHS) What a mess.
Mum.
- Mum, mum! - Ah?
- Cops. - Uh?
Oh. It's you again, is it?
Can I have a word please, Mrs. Such.
What about?
These.
Oh, it's a set-up, is this. We've been framed.
Framed by who, Mrs. Such?
Who but him, of course. That twisted little husband of mine.
Just typical that one, is this. Typical.
Well, he's only been dead for just over a week.
Well of course.
He wanted this to happen after he were dead,
when he knew I couldn't get me hands on him.
Well, I'm afraid you've lost me, Mrs. Such.
We'd no idea them notes were counterfeit, right?
So you tell me.
Well, obviously we didn't.
I mean, if we had, you don't think we'd have been stupid enough
to spend 'em round here, do you?
Well, I donno.
You'd be amazed at just how stupid your average criminal can be sometimes.
Now, who you're calling an average criminal?
It's him is a criminal.
By leaving it to us in the first place.
So that money was left to you, was it?
Well, not exactly left to us as such.
Oh?
What Si means is when he said he left it... what he means it
...he left it lying about, like.
Where he knew we'd find it.
Lying around where?
Well, 'ere, of course.
- What? In the house? - Well, yes.
As I understood it, your husband hadn't been
anywhere near this house for nearly two years.
More than his life were worth, to come round here.
Wasn't that a bit stupid of him?
How do you mean, stupid like?
Well, if he had wanted you to find that money after he was dead,
how could he be sure you wouldn't find it before he was dead?
Well, you'd better hand the rest of that cash back.
I'll take charge of it for now.
Right. Well, I'll be back when the rest of our enquiries are completed.
You can't charge us or anything.
Who says?
I say. Cos all we did was spend the money.
We've no idea them notes were wrong 'uns. Huh?
Well, let's just see, shall we?
Oo I wish he was still alive, so I could kill him with my bare hands!
Hang on a minute, though.
He weren't in on this on his own, were he?
- Weren't he? - Of course he weren't.
He still needed someone to get his rotten letter delivered!
Oh yeah!
Can you charge the Suches with anything?
Well, we could do. Whether we will or not is something else.
I'll need to have a chat with Blaketon,
once we found out what's happened with Graham.
Well, that not gonna be easy.
Why do you say that?
Well, according to young Karen,
the lads who attacked Weedon took something from him.
And when I spoke to him, he said nothing had been taken.
So why would a bloke who's been robbed insists he hadn't been?
Because he couldn't admit to having what he'd lost?
Yeah, right.
Do you think it could have been drugs?
Well, Karen had to have got the amphetamines from somewhere.
The disco seems to be the logical place.
And she was hanging around outside.
Give us a kiss.
Any sign of that lot from division yet?
They're on the way, sarge.
Oh sarge, can I have a word, please.
Yes, of course.
He's going through hell, isn't he?
So what are you suggesting now, Rowan?
That these kids were after drugs?
Well, it certainly wasn't money, Sarge.
They ignored his wallet full of cash.
Terrific.
What do you want?
The truth. That's what I want.
You don't have to tell him anything, Graham.
Not till your solicitor gets here.
Oh, for God's sake, woman!
I'm here as his father, not a copper.
That does still give me some rights, doesn't it?
Now, Graham.
Last night, were you after drugs?
- Were you? - Just a minute! What drugs?
We've reason to believe that Weedon was a drug dealer
supplying the kids at the disco.
That doesn't mean our Graham had anything to do with that.
Why else was he lying in wait for him?
Graham, it was you, wasn't it?
Lying in wait behind the village hall?
Not for the drugs, Dad.
Not to use them ourselves, anyway.
- You took some off him? - To destroy them, that's all.
Destroy them?
Look, we knew Weedon was supplying
some of the younger kids with drugs, right?
- So? - So we decided to warn him off.
We reckoned the best way of doing that was nicking his supply,
and giving him a bit of belting while we were at it.
You expect me to believe that.
It's the truth, dad.
You never thought of reporting him to the police,
letting them deal with it?
None of the kids wanted us to do that in case they got into trouble.
Are you surprised he has no faith in the law?
Let's face it, why should he have,
after what he's seen it's done to our lives?
Mum!
Well, it's true, isn't it?
Rowan, get on to the hospital and find out
if that Weedon character's been discharged yet.
If he has, he can't have got far.
Division'll want a word with him.
Right, Sarge.
I want you to do something to stop this, Oscar, now.
Don't be stupid, Joan.
It's a well-known fact the police take care of their own, when they have to.
More of a well-known fallacy, really.
There must be strings you can pull, the years you've put in.
I mean you heard what Graham said, why they did what they did.
I'm sure that'll be taken into consideration.
But they took the law into their own hands, you see.
And that's happens to be against the law.
The law!
The law ruined my life, that's what the law did.
Now it's going to ruin his!
If there's one single thing I could do about this, I would.
But there will be an investigation.
He may be charged. I don't know.
But in spite of what happened between you and me, Joan...
...I am still his father,
and I love him.
Love?
What do you know about love, Oscar?
When were you ever a father to him?
You were never there when he needed you, ever!
You were always too busy working, always on duty.
Well, now he doesn't need you.
He's got me.
So let's just keep it that way, shall we?
♪ I love how your eyes glow
♪ Whenever you kiss me... ♪
What's going to happen to Graham?
That depends whether the court believe his story or not.
So it's going to court then?
Mm.
Poor old Blaketon.
♪ But, darling, most of all
♪ I love how you love me ♪
KNOCKING
♪ I love how your heart beats... ♪
What do you want this time of night?
- Police protection! - Who from?
Sweaty Betty Such.
She's looking for me all over Aidensfield.
Can I come in?
You're not frightened of a woman?
Sweaty Betty is not a woman and never has been.
I mean if she misses you with her right arm, she knocks you over with her smell!
Well, that's risque, coming from you.
Hey, compare to her, I smell like the Queen Mother.
So what is this, thieves falling out?
Nothing to do with those counterfeit notes, was it?
- It's got nowt to do with me. - No?
No! Look, if I'm guilty about it,
it's just trying to help a dying pal out, you know, doing him a good turn.
Alright Claude, I'm listening.
Well, when he were dyin', little Arthur asked me to go and visit him, right?
Right.
Well he knew he were about to pop his clogs
because he knew the terrible state of his chest.
He asked me if I'd deliver a letter to his missus,
but he told me not to take it around till he were dead and buried.
Did he say what was in the letter?
No, but I put it on a shelf over a pan I were boiling some eggs in,
and it like, steamed itself open.
What, like accidentally-on-purpose?
Ah, summat like that.
What did it say?
Well, basically that he was sorry he'd given her such a hard time
for so many years, but to make it up to them,
he'd left a load of money for her and the lad,
in the safety deposit in the bank.
Only the cash in the box was counterfeit, was it?
Aye, apparently. I mean, I didn't know owt at the time
Of course not.
You trust nobody, do you?
Anyway, he said like, that there were a key, a certain key,
she'd got to take to the bank.
He'd left the key in the right hand trouser pocket of his best suit,
which happened to be the one they buried him in!
You've heard of the Ecclesiastical Court Jurisdiction Act 1860
will you, Mrs. Such?
Also the Burial Act of 1855 and 1857?
And the Cemeteries Clauses Act of 1847?
Plus of course the Public Health Act of 1936?
Not to mention the sundry other by-laws
on the exhumation of bodies without proper authority from the Home Office?
No?
Well, never mind, you soon will.
And there is another thing we like to talk to you about.
The small matter of assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon,
namely a garden spade.
So if you and your son here will like to accompany me down to the station?
Now look what you've gone and done!