An Production of the Kirlian's Institute and Radio Archive
{an4}The Kirlian Frequency
Third consecutive night raining in Kirlian,
and it doesn't seem to be clearing out anytime soon.
In other news, since this morning
every calendar in our town has got eight months less than they should.
Since this morning they all end on the night of the next April the 30th.
Incomplete, unfinished, severed.
The expert astrologers from Kirlian's Planetary and Esoteric Center
have confirmed that on the night of April the 30th
the comet named CC82517 will cross the Urban skies,
on an event that the local newspapers have not yet decided whether to call
"The night of the comet" or
"The absolute end of the world and all things".
Coincidence, my friends?
Honestly, I don't think so.
And that's why I have decided today...
We'll do something different.
No horror stories, bitterness or despair tonight, no sir.
Today we'll celebrate "Christmas".
"The Kirlian Frequency presents: The King of Christmas"
Christmas in April, because we probably won't make it to May.
Tonight we'll put good news on the air,
to remind the universe that in Kirlian there's also kindness,
warmth and you know what I mean.
You can find the number to reach us in the city phone book.
Handwritten, on the last page, under the words.
"The end is near".
And don't be distracted by the sounds of rattling furniture,
the rotting grimoires,
or the flesh unraveling from the bones:
We have a bit of a humidity problem on the radio
nothing to worry about for the next two weeks.
Our first caller this night. You're on the air!
I need help...
Oh no, no sir, good news only.
It's Christmas, a time of peace and hope in the hearts of men.
Only call us if you have something good to share,
I can wait here all night.
Well, then, do you need help celebrating your birthday?
Choosing a present for your best friend?
Or deciding what's your favourite ice-cream flavour?
I can't sleep, my neighbours are too noisy.
And do your parents know you're up at this hour?
My mom is gone, and my dad told me to hide here until he comes back.
Ok, well, let's see, what's the deal with your neighbours?
Is their TV too loud? Are they celebrating a graduation?
Are they moving out after hours?
My neighbor's kids are a couple of years older than me,
and one of them died a few days ago.
But right now, he's floating outside his old bedroom window,
asking his brother to let him in.
You almost had me,
but I saw that movie on channel 6 last week.
This isn't "the lot", it's Kirlian, and vampires don't exist.
Next caller, and remember: "good news only"!
You're on the air on The Kirlian Frequency.
A school teacher had an accident a few years ago.
He was in a coma, and now he says something terrible is coming.
Next caller, and I'm warning you
I'm getting tired of this whole literary joke.
The high school just burst into flames, and this redhead girl...
It is not a normal flu...
There are kids hiding in the corn fields...
This is Christmas night,
not "Dark Night of the Scarecrow"
No more pranks.
Just this one time. A normal night in Kirlian.
Those guys are outside,
right now and I'm starting to feel that strange heat again...
Open up! We know you're in there!
Please, help me.
I think it's time for a reminder...
Out there, it's never Christmas, because this is Kirlian.
Don't go outside, don't look out the windows,
this isn't a drill or another phone prank
things will get worse before they finish,
and something tells me this could be a very bad night.
We'll be right back.
{an8}Rtehn is obli'hon ghist jeo'thy
{an8}Herhodh!
{an8}Give me that. Now.
"A phenomenon called Stephen King" by Elvio E. Gandolfo
Carrie, 1947. Salem's Lot, 1975. Nigth Shift, 1978. The Shining, 1977
The Stand, 1978. The Death Zone, 1980. Firestarter, 1980
{an6}I just wanted one night without your…
{an6}"Problems".
{an6}One single normal night.
{an6}But I guess it’s too much to ask that not everything will revolve
{an6}around you all the time.
{an4}Fhtagn wgah'nagl jsahn, pilgh'm is.
{an6}I don’t get it… all of this "fiction", is it about something special?
{an6}Are you lonely?
{an5}Mglw'nafh ph'nglui.
{an6}There is no forest in Kirlian…
{an6}Zn'heidi geh'h nagli iw, Diahs'mom thul?
{an4}Old Beaumont has taken care of the kids, I’m not lying.
{an6}Sdgel, khew'finn rwat.
{an4}Eldritch is dead, I took care of it...
{an4}and the others don’t know how to get here either.
{an4}I have his plans and the letters he wrote locked away
{an4}in a security box. We’re safe.
{an6}I have to go back upstairs.
{an6}I can stay for a little while if you’re really lonely,
{an6}it’s a long song.
{an6}Or we can bring someone to stay with you at all times and...
{an5}Ven'drhamin sahrt rawl, i'hak med Kirlian.
{an6}Do you know something you haven’t told me about the night of the comet?
The sun's coming up, Kirlian, or whoever is listening-out there,
beyond the city limits.
Maybe you're listening from your car's radios,
passing through, without even knowing we exist,
and with no way of finding us if you wanted to.
And I'm sure some of you are recording this
I can feel my words magnetizing in the air right now.
I guess under different circumstances
I should find you, get rid of all evidence,
and burn your houses to the ground,
but something tells me that those tapes may
be the only thing left of us pretty soon.
More problems are coming, and if things should get solved,
they will get a lot worse first.
But for now, if you're listening
even though we're half way through April,
I wish you a merry Chri...
Resync: F.B. Cavalcante