_
What?
_
No!
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
Amadi, what happened?
I mean, I titled the piece
"The Pickets' Revisionist History."
Why did it get changed?
Gabe must've changed it when we left.
- Oh, my God. - You know he's going crazy
with the whole click-bait headline thing.
Yeah, but I wasn't trying to, like, glamorize them.
Like, I was... I don't know.
I called them out on their shit, right?
Well, when the article got pitched,
I did ask whether or not it was worth doing.
Carl's Autobody and the Portland Library
have both pulled their ads.
The library hates me? That sucks.
Uh, hi.
- Can I get a small coffee? - Annie Easton?
Yes?
Sorry, we don't serve racists here.
- Oh. - Hey, I'm sorry.
It's okay. She's actually with me...
Okay. You don't have to...
Whatever you want is on the house.
Really? Okay.
Uh, could we have two small coffees?
Yep.
Thank you.
You must be feeling a lot of white guilt right now.
Yes. Yes.
Heavy, heavy on my mind.
What's that like?
It's... it's nothing compared to...
And I... yeah.
I feel like I would be so good on reality TV,
just wearing big necklaces
and calling other women narcissists.
Yeah, 'cause you do that now.
Yeah, but then I'd be getting paid.
Hey. What are these?
From my cousin's wedding. She just sent them.
Okay.
I'm seeing a lot of beautiful people,
a lot of cool hats.
They're called geles.
And you know what they say... the cooler the hat,
- the more foreign you are. - Mm.
You know, I knew you were Nigerian,
but I don't think I knew you were, like, Nigerian.
My parents are Nigerian.
They moved to London.
I was born.
It's really not that exciting.
Except literally every part of that is exciting.
Like, why did they move?
Because they wanted to.
I mean, what do you have to say about your parents?
Well, Papa's Irish-German
and mama is a covered wagon.
- Wow. - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You're being weird about this.
But if you want me to drop it, I will drop it.
Good.
No.
No, no. Come on.
Come on, just... if I kiss you...
- you've been hogging it. - You're an addict.
You're an addict.
You've been hogging it.
Hey. Annie?
I printed out all the hate emails
The Thorn got about you. Do you want them?
No.
Annie, I said be friendly with the Pickets.
I didn't mean be friends.
I didn't become friends with them.
You ate their pie and said that their pie tasted good.
Okay, but I also said that they're trying to start a white utopia.
Don't get mad at us.
You're the one who got yourself canceled.
What? I am not canceled.
- She's canceled. - So canceled.
Why did you change my headline?
You know, everyone is reading what you wrote, Annie.
You're welcome.
Well, no one is reading my actually thoughtful article.
They're just reading your shitty headline.
You know what? I'm not gonna apologize
for being a good writer, okay, Annie?
I don't have time for this, uh, eruption.
I've got a huge press day today for my book.
I'm late for a podcast,
which I didn't even know was possible.
Talk to you later.
Fine. Then I'll call Sheila.
Oh, little miss teacher's pet
going straight to "I'm telling!"
Hey. You know what?
You can tattle face to face 'cause she's coming here tomorrow.
How's that?
Shit.
Okay. This seems important,
but I need to know what you're doing.
It is very important.
I'm sending a revenge selfie to a married ex.
- But what's up? - Okay, Ricochet.
- I have a question. - Uh-huh.
Say you're in a new but very intense relationship...
As I am most always am, yes.
- So my partner, Em, is great. - Uh-huh.
- And we're really in love. - Mm.
But...
Just sometimes I feel like living here
and not being from here,
I feel like I'm already kind of on display.
And my partner is white,
started asking me all these questions about being Nigerian.
Yes, yes, yes.
See, to Americans, we're like exotic birds.
It doesn't matter that my father is a dentist
and my mother, also a dentist.
Yeah, it's like, I get that that stuff is exciting to them.
But, like, I just always kept my relationship
and my heritage separate.
Yes, but see? These people are from places like Idaho
and, um... oh, what's the other one?
I... I feel like it's Wishigan.
Wishigan. Wishigan, yes, yes, yes.
Their lives are football...
- Mm. - ... and, uh, ham,
and everything they can put ham in.
And... you know, sometimes, my partners,
- they ask about Chile, right? - Mm.
It's because they need Chile.
Their lives are such that when they hear a little bit about Chile,
- they go nuts. - Yeah.
So you gotta give them a little something,
- you know what I mean? - Yeah, that makes sense.
And I do wanna share myself with them.
Then share yourself with them!
There must be something small and inconsequential
you can just throw them, like...
- Yeah. - I don't know.
Like a little wooden doll
or a... or a... or a rich tapestry,
something that says, "Here is a piece of me to you."
- I guess I could cook them something. - Yes, yes, yes.
Enter the heart through the mouth, yes.
Isn't this your best friend?
_
- Hey, sweetheart. - Hi, Dad.
Honey, Yellowstone is amazing.
We're at the most beautiful waterfall.
That's cool.
Um, Dad, I'm, like, kind of freaking out
because everyone hates me.
Hold on, sweetie. I can barely hear you.
Say it again?
Um, I... I said that everyone's mad at me
because of the article that I wrote, and...
Oh! We read that!
Really different and cool for you.
Do you wanna talk to your mom?
- No, I don't... I... - Vera!
Hey, Vera!
No, she can't talk.
She spilled her water in her bag.
Okay. Okay.
Dad, I'm gonna go, okay?
Yeah, one second, one second, Annie.
Okay, bye.
Today was hell.
Like, I, like, actually know what hell is now.
Mm.
- I mean, like, my article... - Yeah, I saw the article.
Yeah, so, I mean, Gabe changed the headline,
and it just made everything seem like it was, like, so bad.
Annie, stop. You're not the victim here.
What? No.
Gabe skewed it with his headline,
but if you read the actual article...
Yeah, I read the whole thing.
You gave these people a platform.
You literally spent the whole day
with these racist pieces of shit,
and you shot guns with one of them.
I mean, why do these people need to be written about at all?
I was just trying to investigate,
like, their shittiness, you know, their, like, horrific values.
It wasn't my intention to give them a platform.
How was it not your intention,
yet you wrote a feature article about them?
And intention or not, it still sucks.
But... it actually wasn't even my pitch.
Like, it was supposed to be Andy who wrote it.
So you wrote it in protest?
No.
No, I... I just...
I don't know... I just didn't want
to be pigeonholed into writing about body stuff.
So I was trying to, like... I don't know.
When it came up, I just kind of jumped at it.
Annie, you wrote the article.
What do you think would've happened to me
if I went to that ranch?
Yeah, I...
I don't... I... I know what you're saying.
I can't help you through this.
This is your problem.
"Dear Diary,
"Am I the only one
"who thinks Maureen is hot?
Probably not."
Maureen, it's not a diary, okay?
I'm... I'm nervous, so I'm writing down
what I'm gonna say to Sheila and Gabe.
Oh, no. Are you quitting again?
No. No. But everything is such a mess,
and so I asked for a formal meeting
with Gabe and Sheila and Amadi.
And I'm gonna fix things.
Okay.
Well, I believe in you.
I believe in you,
and I believe in fairies,
and that's it.
If you need me, I'll be at my desk, making wishes,
wishes for my bitches.
You want this?
No, thank you.
Okay, all the ingredients are in there?
Yes. I think so.
Then we just need to puree them.
- Okay. - And also if you wanted to ask me
some questions about my culture,
I'd be more than happy to answer.
Wow, and what is your culture again?
Like, kinda preppy.
Okay, yeah, no. I do have a lot of questions about that.
Is Nigerian food like Ethiopian food?
They're, like, 5000 kilometers apart.
Which is so many.
Was that a stupid question?
Yeah. It was.
And do you love me even though I'm stupid?
I actually love you because you're stupid.
Wow. God bless me.
Okay. That doesn't taste right.
My mum makes this all the time, and that's not it.
Well, this is a random recipe
from recipesafrica.biz.
So maybe just call your mom.
But if I call her, then we have to talk to her, so...
Yep, Muy bien. That is how calling people works.
And this is a good thing that we want to do?
Just call your mom, Fran.
Okay, Annie, through your signature emotional acrobatics,
you've got what you wanted, our undivided attention.
Okay. Well, I've been thinking a lot about the article
that I wrote about the Pickets...
Yes! It's exactly the kind of fiery piece
I want from you, Annie.
Well, I... I don't agree with that.
Um... I mean, these people are practically terrorists,
and we've given them a platform for their ideals.
And I'm not okay with that.
And I think that we should take the article down.
I knew it.
Sweetie, that's not how journalism works.
Well, but people are...
they're really upset, and they're hurt.
So doesn't that mean that we should listen to them?
No.
I can't believe that I'm saying this,
but Sheila and I completely agree.
Our policy is, we don't take stories down.
We bash people over the heads with them.
Your article broke our quarterly traffic records.
Because of you, The Thorn lives to fight another day.
But we're losing advertisers.
Eh, we lost a few small-time accounts,
but we gained national attention.
Amadi, you get what I'm trying to say here, right?
Uh, I don't love having these people in our paper,
but we published it.
So that means it stands.
I would appreciate, however,
if you would run headlines past me
before you call white supremacists charming.
- Of course. - Good point.
Okay, um, well, then could I...
could I write an apology
and we could post it online or something?
I just feel like I should be given the chance to explain
- what actually happened here. - And say what?
How it was everyone else's fault except your own?
No, I'm trying to take accountability right now.
If this is too much for you,
then stay in your own lane.
But if you want to evolve and go bigger,
the job comes with a few occupational hazards.
Bare minimum,
think about the ethics of what you are writing
before the story comes out.
It's great to see you.
Okay.
Should we get started?
- You forgot your notes. - Oh.
Next month's slates.
All right.
_
Okay.
What are you waiting for?
I am setting an intention
that this call will not be horribly bad.
Hey. You can do this.
Hello.
Frances, is that you?
Hi, Mum. Sorry it's late.
I'm up. I'm always up.
Mum, can you point the phone at your face?
I can see up your nose.
My baby, what's going on?
I'm trying to make jollof rice,
and the tomato doesn't taste right.
It tastes really bland.
You are making jollof rice?
This brings me great joy.
Someone's in your house!
Hang up and call the police.
Mum, this is...
this is Em, my partner.
Hi, it's really nice to meet you.
It is so nice to meet you, too.
You know, in 29 years,
our Frances has never cooked Nigerian food,
so you must be very special.
Well, I'm nowhere near as special as our Frances.
Tell me, what do you do for work?
Mum, the jollof rice. Remember?
Yes, of course.
It will never taste as good as my jollof rice,
but we can try to get it close.
That is why Ghanaian jollof rice is garbage rice, okay?
Okay. I believe you.
Okay. You need to try this.
Okay. Wow.
That's the best thing I've ever had in my life.
Thank you so much, Mum. It tastes just like yours.
It is my pleasure, Frances.
Okay. You two eat up.
It was so pleasant to speak to you, Em.
Oh, thank you, Bisi.
It was so lovely to get to meet you.
Good night.
Have a good night.
I love you, Frances.
Thank you for letting me meet Em.
I love you too, Mum. Thank you.
Okay, well, she's wonderful. Can I have her number?
Absolutely not. No.
But it genuinely was really nice
to see how well you two got on.
Parents love me.
I have a "good at chores" energy.
But no, I've just never introduced a partner
- to my parents before. - Why?
I think I kept my dating life separate
because if one rejected the other,
it would just be too painful.
Well, I love you.
And I want to be part of everything about you.
I love you too.
I guess it's time for you to meet my family now?
I get to go to the factory where you were made.
It's actually the world's largest lacrosse field.
Okay.
Hey, hey.
You okay?
No.
I don't know.
Everything is just so bad.
And... I don't know.
Like, everyone thinks I'm racist,
and I am so selfish.
I can't...
Come here. Come here.
Hey.
It's okay.
Oh, God.
I just... I don't know.
I think I thought that when we broke up,
that things would just be easier.
But it's not,
and I really feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Hey.
Don't say that about yourself.
Like, ever.
I'm so lucky to have ever dated you.
Oh, God. This is so fucked.
I should not be venting to you like this.
It's okay.
I'll always be here for you, Annie.
Thank you.
I'm... I'm fine.
I'm... I'm okay. I...
- You're sure? - Yeah.
- You should... you can go. - You good?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Ryan?
Oh, my God. That feels so fucking good.
Oh, God. That feels so good.
Your pussy feels so good.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come, too.
That was amazing.
Like, when you talk about my cock,
it just makes me go harder.
I know.
I kinda think we should just start fucking at work again.
You know, like, fuck The Thorn.
That would be so awesome.
Wow, what's... what's this?
Oh, shit.
Fuck, I forgot.
What?
I kinda have a girlfriend.
I mean, I do have a girlfriend.
Oh, you forgot you have a girlfriend?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Shit. This is bad.
We just got a dog together.
Oh, my God, so I just helped you cheat
on your girlfriend and your dog?
You are exactly the fucking same.
I'm sorry. You were just so sad,
and I wanted to make you happy.
- But we can never do this again. - Yes.
No shit, motherfucker.
We are never doing this again.
Okay. I should have never come here,
and I should have never done this.
Listen to me.
Listen to me right now,
and I really fucking mean it.
Do not ever talk to me again.
Don't call me, don't find me at work.
Do not ever talk to me again!
Oh, my God.
Fuck you.
Truly, fuck you!
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --