BOW: My parents were always doing good.
It was one of their core values, which sounds nice,
but sometimes it was a little much.
I just wanted to adopt a puppy.
And we did you one better and adopted a highway.
- [Truck horn blares] - Truck!
[Truck horn blares]
Isn't this fun, kids?
- Who needs Disneyland, right? - Right!
See?
Doesn't it feel good to donate things you're not using?
But these are the one thing I own that makes me cool.
The less fortunate deserve to look cool, too, son.
♪ Don't drink, don't smoke ♪
- Yay! - Yay!
Now let's hurry and get this to the shelter.
Did you make a wish for Ethiopia?
No, but I did make a wish for a new family!
- Hmm? - Shouldn't have said it out loud.
Never happenin' now.
So it shouldn't have been a surprise when this happened.
Hey, everyone. This is Jay.
He's one of my students.
And he lives here now.
- Welcome. - He lives here now?
And yet everyone freaked out when I brought home lice.
Hypocrites.
♪♪
♪ In the mix ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ♪
♪ But they can't stop us ♪
♪ 'Cause we got a love ♪
♪ That keeps rising up ♪
♪ In the mix ♪
♪ Life turns around ♪
♪ 'Round and 'round it goes ♪
♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ♪ ♪ Ooh, it's a mixed-up ♪
♪ And that's for sure ♪ ♪ Mixed-up ♪
♪ In the mix ♪ ♪ Baby ♪
♪ We're gonna get by ♪ ♪ We're gonna ♪
♪ On our own, side by side ♪
♪ Love's all we need to be free ♪ ♪ Lo-o-o-ve is all ♪
♪ I got you, you got me ♪
♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪
♪ I-I-In the mix ♪
♪ Yaaaaay us! ♪
♪ I-I-In the mix-ish ♪
So when you say he lives here now, are we talking
a "Diff'rent Strokes," "Webster" thing, or what?
No, sweetheart. Jay's just gonna stay with us
for a little bit while his father's out of town.
College applications are due next week,
and I really want to help him succeed.
He's the best student I've ever had.
You've been a teacher for two weeks.
Y-Yeah, but because of classroom overcrowding,
I've had hundreds of students in that time.
Come on, guys. Every night at dinner,
we ask you how you've changed the world.
Here's your chance to do that.
So, who's in favor of Jay staying here?
- Not me. - Me neither.
And if you want a Black kid with a catchphrase,
you know you already have one.
Ho, ho, ho, it's Santi.
You've never said that before.
Okay. Guys, we're not gonna force you to do anything,
but your mother and I are for him staying,
and you guys are against it, so let's have your sister decide.
Rainbow! Can you come here?
We have a guest.
Who is... it?
[Billy Ocean's "Suddenly" plays]
♪ Hmm-hmm, ah ♪
♪♪
- ♪ Suddenly... ♪ - I could've watched him
take that jacket off for hours.
♪ Life has new meaning to me ♪
And because it got a little caught on his elbow...
♪ There's beauty up above ♪
- ...I did get some bonus time. - ♪ And things we never take notice of ♪
I knew from that moment I would marry a Black man.
ALICIA: Rainbow? Rainbow.
- ♪ Suddenly, you're in love ♪ - [Music winds down]
Rainbow, are you okay if Jay stays with us?
- Yes! - Oh.
Oh. That was easy. All right, it's settled.
Jay, make yourself at home.
You can sleep in my room!
Great. And you can bunk with Johan and Santi.
Yeah, that's exactly what I meant when I said that.
- JAY: Thanks. - PAUL: All right.
Thanks.
PAUL: I tell ya, baby,
this is exactly why I got into teaching,
to make a... a positive impact on the world.
And what better way than by helping shape
the minds of young people?
Do you know who else can have a big impact on kids?
Role models.
You know what?
I'm gonna take Jay to work with me.
If he gets one look at a law office,
it may inspire him to take a whole new path.
Yeah, yeah, that... that... that's a great supplement
to the work that I'm already doing.
But, of course, as we both know,
teachers are the most impactful figure in a kid's life.
But having someone to look up to
can be just as or more important,
someone like an inspirational Black lawyer.
- Ah! - Not that this is a competition.
Of course it's not a competition.
If it was, it'd suck for you because I'd obviously win.
It feels like you're threatened by my ability to mentor Jay.
Well, would someone who feels threatened
be able to... mentor-crouch this well?
Hey, let me rap at you, buddy.
Paul, you do know what crouching like that
in front of a Black child means, don't you?
No. What does it mean? Is it bad?
You'll find out.
Are you messing with me?
Honey, I'm the only White teacher. I need to know!
Having put my dad on his back foot,
my mom was excited to show Jay the glamorous success
that was possible for a lawyer in America.
[Markers squeaking]
So this is what you do?
I know. It's exciting around here, right?
I bet Paul doesn't have that many fax machines at school.
Oh, we don't have many things at our school.
Desks, current textbooks, doors on bathroom stalls...
Well, just know that you can go from that
to redacting names of minors to protect their identity.
Hmm?
Oh. Rebecca Morgan. She's my daughter's friend.
Uh, you probably shouldn't have told him that.
Her dad dumped a bunch of medical waste near a day care.
I probably shouldn't have told you that.
So you guys have to go through all these files
before going to trial?
Oh, this is never going to trial.
We settle almost everything.
Fools go to court and make big arguments.
Real lawyers do a lot of paperwork and then settle. Hmm?
You can't lose a game you don't play.
- Mnh! - DENISE: Alicia.
You are boring that poor boy to death.
Which I know isn't easy because he's used to Paul.
How can he be bored?
We're about to start stapling the redaction papers.
Asked and answered. Hey, Jay...
you want to make some long-distance phone calls?
It's three in the morning in Italy.
Let's wake up Chef Boyardee.
Isn't that expensive?
I don't know. It isn't my money.
I'm just gonna dial a bunch of numbers and say "bonjour."
[Chuckles]
Um, Jay, this...
[Sighs]
My mom taking Jay to work was the perfect opportunity
for me to find something he and I had in common.
I was hoping to find a hot-pink diary with all of his dreams,
but instead I found...
Deodorant.
SANTAMONICA: Rainbow?!
Just in my room doing normal stuff!
♪♪
So, Jay, how'd it go at the law firm today?
Did you see Alicia change any kids' lives
or just contribute to the brutal machine of capitalism?
I'd say neither?
- She did cross out names, though. - Ooh.
Hey, is it cool if I play another game?
Absolutely. I had the guys at the factory flip the switch
so you don't have to put any quarters in.
There's a jar right next to it. You can put your money in there.
This is exactly what Jay needed...
video games and pizza and agreeing that Alicia
doesn't cut it in the inspiration department.
Kids can really flourish under the right kind of mentorship.
- Oh, yeah. - Since my kids moved in
with my wife's new boyfriend,
they've all gotten really emotionally stable.
You know, and Jay has the potential
to be anything he wants to be,
but the system has the odds stacked against him.
That's why these college applications and interviews
- are so important. - You know what?
If you want him to ace these interviews,
you should be sure he's got a new suit.
- A suit? - My ex-wife always used to say,
"You'll never change your life
if you just sit around in sweatpants."
So I put on a suit, I went out, and I got a job.
And she was right.
My life changed forever because while at that job,
she started seeing Big Carl, we ended up getting divorced,
and now I have the time to hang out with you all night, buddy.
So all's well that ends well, right? [Chuckles]
I don't think that ended well, Griff.
It did not.
But the lesson of the story is there's power in the suit.
I'll get him a suit.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the brand-new Jay!
[ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" plays]
♪ Clean shirt, new shoes... ♪
I never pictured myself being a suit guy,
but, oh, am I a suit guy!
He's a suit guy.
- It's very you. - Thanks.
- [Music clicks off] - Look at that confidence
you only get from a strong mentor,
not someone who advertises on the side of a bus.
You couldn't figure out how to inspire him with your mind,
so you had to use a paycheck?
Uh, no, babe. I used two paychecks.
And not only that, I called a buddy at Berkeley
who works in admissions and got him an interview.
DENISE: Okay, you two are spending time and money
trying to help some kid, and now you're actually
fighting about how to do it?
You people are weird.
BOW: I think you look great, Jay.
Real handsome. I'd vote for you.
Thanks, but I'm not running for anything.
[Laughs forcefully]
Speaking of running, I just did some running.
Slapped some deodorant right on my armpits so I don't stink.
Budding hormones making us smell...
Okay, okay, maybe you scored a couple of points
with your suit and your interview,
but you're gonna hit a wall in your ability to mentor Jay.
- How? - 'Cause you are a White guy
who grew up with a countryclub membership.
I mean, what's inspirational about that?
- [Scoffs] - What he needs is someone
who can speak to him and his experiences.
Mm-hmm.
Do you wear deodorant?
- Yes. - Me too!
Because I have to.
Like right now. I'm gonna go put some more on.
You know, Jay, you and I have a lot in common.
We weren't born with silver spoons in our mouths,
unlike...[clicks tongue] some people.
We have to work for everything we have.
No one's giving us anything.
So I don't get to keep the suit?
Oh, you can keep the suit,
but don't expect those kinds of breaks.
We have to work twice as hard to get half as far.
Because out there,
no one's gonna help people like you and me.
Mnh-mnh.
But didn't Granddad help you?
Let me tell the story, baby.
Okay, so, you are gonna need drive like never...
He did help you. He gave you a job
when no one else would hire you.
Uh, someone else would've hired me, baby.
- Okay... - SANTAMONICA: Are you sure?
Because for ten years,
you were dancing around the forest
pretending to be the Winter Sprite.
That was Mom?!
I think we get the takeaway here.
If you want the "good life," marry a White guy.
- Hmm. - [Stammering]
Are you saying I wouldn't have what I have
if I wasn't married to your father?
That's ridiculous, okay? Ridiculous.
Ridiculous. Ridiculous.
That's... That's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous.
- Hey, babe. - Mm-hmm. [Pops lips]
You just said "ridiculous" eleven times.
If... If you need someone to talk about this with...
I'm always down to rap.
Okay, that's... that's ridiculous.
[Sighs] Can you believe the kids think the only reason
I have my job is because it was handed to me?
What I don't get is why you're letting these White people
get in your head.
And, yes, for the purposes of my point,
your children are White people right now.
They don't understand.
I worked two jobs to put myself through law school,
and nobody worked harder than me.
Ooh! That's the truth.
You are the smartest person I know besides Cousin Scoot.
Well, his smarts are street smarts, so that's different.
The thing is, if my kids can't see
that I've worked for everything I have,
then how is everyone else going to?
Do you think the other lawyers in the office
think I'm only there because of Harrison?
Hey, just because you got a little help
doesn't mean you don't deserve to be at the top.
Hmm.
- You're just like Rebbie Jackson. - Mm.
Sure, Michael may have written and sang backup
on her hit single, "Centipede,"
but she's the reason it went to Number Four
on the R&B charts...
and Number One in my heart.
So you're comparing me to the least important Jackson?
Oh, no, baby.
The least important Jackson is Janet.
They say she got a little album coming out,
but ain't nobody gonna buy that.
- [Chuckles] - Mm.
- Okay, Penny from "Good Times." - Yeah.
♪♪
Good morning, Jay.
Can I make you something? Steak, maybe?
Well, mushroom steak. We don't eat meat here.
But I know my way around the kitchen.
I also have a 4.0 GPA, so I'm pretty much a complete package.
I'm gonna be a doctor.
It's true. I'm a doctor.
I'm good. Just had some cereal.
Because it's morning.
[Laughs] I'm so glad you're fed.
Let me clear your bowl.
It was finally time to make my move
and confess my love to him.
[Slurps]
♪♪
What are you doing?
You wouldn't understand! You're too young!
What's to understand? You were Frenching a bowl.
The suggestion that my mom got a leg up in her career
from my granddad was still in her head
when she went back to the office the next morning.
Morning, everybody.
So, last night, I took it upon myself to prep
all of our closing arguments for the waterpark case.
And I also was able to track down seven extra plaintiffs
from the motel fire,
which means we are now in class-action territory.
Guess I'll finish my golf story later.
It was a good one, too!
That's a lot of work.
You do remember
that we try to stretch our billable hours out.
Oh. That? [Chuckles]
That is a normal amount of work for me.
I mean, maybe it takes your other guys longer to do it,
but perhaps I'm just really good at my job.
I'm plenty good at my job!
Oh, is that why you took a loss on the folding-crib case
and the folding steak-knife case?
First you ruin my story, now you're insulting me!
It was a good story, too! A seagull ate my ball!
Okay, Alicia, I appreciate the work,
but things are getting a little heated,
so I'm gonna give you the rest of the day off.
I don't need you to give me anything.
Jay and I will be here working all day.
Actually, Mrs. Johnson, I do have to get to school.
In that case, I'll be headed out
because I already did all of our work
for today and tomorrow.
- Is your eye twitching? - What?
How much sleep did you get last night?
Not a wink.
♪♪
I bet Jay is crushing his interview right now.
[Chuckles]
You think I can win Teacher of the Year?
Ahh! What am I saying?
It's basically impossible for first-year teachers.
Hey, Griff, thanks again for letting me borrow
- your weed whacker. - Of course.
If you need anything, I'm your man.
Weed whacker, power tools, hug from a buddy.
[Chuckles] Whatever.
Hey, George, I have a question for you.
There's a student in my class...
Uhp. I'm teaching at MLK. Hm. Not sure if you heard.
Hmm, yeah, no.
Anyway, my student Jay, he's a really great kid,
who's living with us now,
and it's time for him to start applying to colleges.
So I get him this interview at Berkeley,
and I got him a new suit for it,
and I just really want him to do well.
O-Okay. What's the question?
Oh, sorry. I just really want him to do well.
You know?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I-I do know.
I got a question for you.
Is Jay Black?
I-I-I-I believe the preferred term is "Afro-ed American."
It is not.
Uh, I guess he is, yeah.
Ohh, so you're trying to save a brother.
[Scoffs] S-Save a brother?
Uh, uh, "brother" is Afro-ed Am...
[Clears throat] I mean "Black."
Yeah, I know what a... I know what a brother is, Griff.
But come on, George. I'm not trying to save anyone.
I'm just trying to do good, to help.
Hey, look, I'm sure you are, but let me ask you something.
Would you be as enthusiastic about helping this kid
if he was White?
[Scoffs] Are you saying
that I'm only helping Jay because he's Black?
- I... - That's ridiculous.
Th-That's... ridiculous!
[Scoffs] Ridiculous.
Ridiculous. [Scoffs]
- [Scoffs] Ridiculous! - Yeah.
Ridiculous.
[Sighs] I don't know how you talked me into this.
I don't even work this hard at work.
If there's anything you borrowed from Vivica, get it back,
because we're not talking to George again!
Can you believe he said I'm only helping Jay because he's Black?
I can believe it, yes.
What?
[Sighs] It's not your fault.
It's just White instinct to go out and help Black people
that don't need it.
How is it a bad thing that I'm doing
everything I can to help Jay succeed?
I mean, it might rob him of feeling ownership
of all of his future accomplishments just because
you want to feel good about yourself in this moment,
but it's not a huge deal.
Wait. What are you saying?
All she's saying is
there's a right way to help and a White way to help.
That's insightful. What does that mean, exactly?
Honestly, I came up with the rhyme first,
so I don't quite have a point yet.
Her point is, White people love helping Black people
so they can get credit,
sort of like what you're doing with Jay.
No, no, t-t-that is not what I'm doing.
Paul, think about it. It is.
And to be honest...
it's kind of gross.
♪♪
DENISE: I don't care that it's gross.
If you're helping out Black people, give me your watch.
That one.
Hey. You okay? What are you doing?
Oh, you know, just thinking about how I'm unconsciously
oppressing my student by giving him help.
I didn't say all that. I just called you gross.
You might as well have.
You know, because of our relationship, I get to see
firsthand how unfair the world can be for Black people,
and I'm just desperate to help change that.
Babe, I know your heart's in the right place.
But this week, I let it become all about me.
You know, the reason I became a teacher at MLK
was to help kids like Jay.
But it just feels like, because I'm White,
maybe I'm doing something else.
Okay, so you overstepped.
That doesn't mean you should quit helping altogether.
It's just, when White people are helping Black people,
they need to realize what it feels like
to be on the receiving end of that help.
Right. Okay.
I-I-I totally get what you're saying,
but assume for a second that I don't and keep talking.
It can make someone feel less-than,
which may be why I lashed out at you.
[Sighs]
I've worked my whole life
to be seen for my talent and abilities.
And I kind of hate that part of my story
is the fact that your dad gave me a huge leg up.
Oh, but, babe, nobody gets there completely on their own.
Jack's dad is my dad's golfing buddy,
and... and the only law school that Bradley's ever gotten into
is the one that his family founded.
Do you think for a second that they doubt that they belong?
No, even when they should.
No. And regardless how you got there,
your track record speaks for itself.
I mean, I am pretty great.
Yeah, you are!
To be honest, I'm better than your dad.
Way better! That guy sucks!
And I'm a much better lawyer than you are.
- I mean, you didn't even finish law school. - Okay.
I am so much smarter than our kids. [Laughs]
- They can't even drive. - That's nice, yeah.
Get it out of your system, babe. This is good.
[Door opens]
Oh, good. Jay, you're up.
Yeah, I mean, it's hard to go to sleep.
Rainbow keeps speaking at me through the bedroom window.
Uh, she's, uh... she's new to having friends.
Uh, but we just wanted to talk to you
because I know we've been pretty intense this week,
and I probably overdid it.
We both did. We're rooting for you,
and it came out in weird ways.
And I know I made a big deal about it,
but I don't care if you want to be a lawyer.
Cool, 'cause it looked super boring.
- It kind of is. - Look, whatever you choose,
we're always here to help you... at an appropriate level.
You know, not too much, but, uh, I'm just here for you
if... if you need it. [Chuckles nervously]
Uh, nothing overt, just if you need anything.
Not that you need anything. You know? I mean...
- It's... It's... - [Both laughing nervously]
Okay. Just know this.
Whatever you achieve in life,
- you will have earned it. - PAUL: Yes.
[Chuckles] But you probably won't achieve as much as me.
- Ohh! - [Laughs] I'm sorry!
I'm feeling really confident right now.
- She is. - [Laughter]
[Laughing loudly]
I get it. We're laughing.
I love laughing. And hugging.
So let's bring it in.
[Chuckles] Okay. We're just gonna...
- If you need any help. - Bye, guys.
None of us will ever forget that week Jay stayed with us.
Just stay here for a minute.
[New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" plays]
My dad became a more conscious helper...
We may have gone a bit overboard before, so...
♪ Right through with a bolt of blue ♪
...and my mom realized that she didn't need to do
anything extra to prove that she belonged.
Hey! Some of the guys are getting drinks after work.
You in?
Actually, yeah. I can finish this tomorrow.
And as for me, I learned
just how hard true love is to protect.
DENISE: Goodbye, Jay.
You were the best intern our office ever had.
You know I never worked there, right?
Oh, well, you were around a lot,
and showing up is half the battle.
You're gonna make a great lawyer.
He doesn't want to be a lawyer.
Well, then, why the hell was he around so much?
I'm so confused.
Bye, Jay. Think of me fondly.
Bye, kid.
A pet name?!
He loved me as much as I loved him.
Bye, kid. Bye, kid.
♪♪
I don't know about you, Jay, but I'm excited
my parents let you stay for another week.
It'll really let us get to know each other
better than we already have.
[Chuckles]
[Tray settles on table]
♪♪
After your snack, I was thinking
we could watch "Karate Kid" again.
I can tell it's your favorite. [Chuckles]
[Screams]
♪♪
No...
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