[Zari] Previously on Legends Of Tomorrow...
I couldn't send Neron to hell without sending Des down with him.
I killed the man I loved, and for what?
John, you have to stop this.
If Desmond isn't dragged to hell, and you don't join the Legends,
the effects could be cataclysmic.
[Constantine] History be bloody damned.
I really care about you.
This thing between us, it isn't real, it never was.
Uh...
- [Charlie] What's that? - [Zari] I think John just broke time.
Oi, Z, check this out.
I got my powers back.
[meows]
Zari?
Constantine did it! He changed the timeline back in New Orleans.
He saved old Des.
[meows]
Oh.
Unfortunately, I've no idea why you're a cat, Z.
- [growls softly] - Oh, quit your whinging.
I know it's a pretty raw deal for you,
especially 'cause, well, who knows what they put in cat food.
On the plus side, you are cute as hell. [chuckles]
Z, it has been an experience.
Now, I'm gonna set the autopilot to take you back to the Waverider.
But first, we're gonna drop me off somewhere fabulous.
[jazz music playing]
[chuckles]
[sighs] Hope y'all are thirsty for champagne,
because I'm feeling a little bubbly.
[people exclaiming]
Hello, Red.
Ms. Monroe. How's Lady Luck treating ya?
Ooh! [chuckles softly]
Hey, Red, it's me. Charlie, the shapeshifter.
Tears of St. Patrick.
What are you doing here?
I haven't seen you since we escaped from that prison.
Yeah. Hey, listen, mate.
You gotta stop doing your leprechaun magic
so out in the open like this, all right?
I do this all the time. These humans, they don't notice anything.
Watch.
- [dealer] Lucky 11. Winner! - Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- Quit doing that. - But I'm just having a little fun!
What's got you so worried? The magic police?
They're called the Legends
and I'm just trying to stay off their radar for a little while.
Sounds to me like you're scared.
What, of them?
[chuckles] No. They're not dangerous,
they're just annoying little Boy Scouts, you know.
- [weapon fires] - [glass shattering]
Reach for the sky, you filthy animals.
[clears throat] Pretty please.
He asked nicely.
Greetings, gentlemen.
- [gun cocking] - Ah, the leprechaun!
You fellows play?
Uh...
No.
- [people screaming] - [Charlie whimpers]
Oh, my God! Why did you do that?
Marilyn Monroe! I am killing it at historical-figure bingo.
All right, everyone, calm down.
We just saved your butts from a very dangerous magical creature.
Who are you guys?
[Ray scoffs]
[disco music playing]
- [groans] - [laughs]
Hi. Nate Heywood, monster hunter.
Just want you ladies to know you're in good hands.
- [creature roaring] - [gasping, screaming]
Man, Garima is gonna flip when she hears we met Marilyn Monroe.
You think a murderous alien queen
that sprang to life from Mick's fantasies is into Marilyn?
Yes.
Hmm.
What is up with these guys?
Gideon, any messages while we were gone?
[Gideon] You missed calls from Barry Allen,
Oliver Queen and Kara Zor-El.
Sounds like the annual crossover.
Ugh! Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass.
- [indistinct chatter] - [laughter]
[cat meows]
Oh, Zari.
Well, I'm glad to see that you made it back to the ship okay.
[yowls]
[sighs] Okay, I hear you. You're still mad at me.
Listen. I really need your help.
[meows]
All right, yeah. I can see that being a cat is your main concern right now,
but I still don't know why you're a cat.
Ms. Tomaz was turned into a cat
during the team's encounter with a Fairy Godmother.
Whoa, Gideon. Your latest upgrade is smoking.
Thank you, Miss Jiwe.
Amaya Jiwe. Yeah. That's me.
And may I say, your new upgrade and accent are also smoking.
- Oh, Yeah? - [Gideon] Mm-hmm.
You know, I'm just trying something out.
[meows]
Yeah, okay. One last question.
Why are the Legends homicidal wankers now?
If you're referring to the Custodians of the Chronology,
their policy toward magical creatures has been "shoot on sight"
since their disastrous encounter at Woodstock.
Right. Thanks, Gideon.
Must be fallout from Constantine altering the timeline.
Right. This zero-tolerance bollocks ends now.
Hey, people!
I have an announcement to make.
Please, gather around.
Come listen.
So, I know our "shoot first, ask questions never" policy
has led to some
interesting decorations, but it's time to change.
From now on, we are going to capture the magical creatures
and bring them to the Bureau like we are supposed to.
Why are you looking at me weird?
Well, it just seems like a shame to change our policy now.
Considering we're so close to capturing our white whale.
That's a Moby Dick reference.
And what is your white whale?
The only creature we haven't been able to capture
because it's quite elusive.
Maybe because it has the ability to change shape!
- Shapeshifter! - How dare you step on this ship
and pretend to be our dead captain.
What?
- Wait. Sara's dead? - Yeah.
That's why we know you're not Sara.
- Is that why you guys are like this? - Like what?
Hunting down magical creatures like it's a... [groans]
- [laughs] - [Mick] Yes!
[grunts]
Damn it, Garima!
I called dibs on killing the shapeshifter last week!
[groans]
You know what, he did.
Remember when we were roasting that little baby gryphon?
Which was delicious, by the way.
But you guys got into an argument
about who actually killed it, so, then Ray got upset.
He was like, "Hey, I wanna kill the shapeshifter."
It heals itself. It turns into Amaya. This is not good!
- Kill her again! - I get to kill her this time!
After her!
[Zari meows]
Zari?
Oh, bollocks.
[sighs] They've become maniacs.
Okay, this is bad.
[meows]
What, Constantine? Yes!
This is his fault. He needs to help us fix this.
But where is he?
[beeping]
[sighs] Nice work, Zari Cat.
[growls softly]
Can't very well walk around here looking like this.
[Zari meows]
Oh, hush. It's still me, despite the insane grin on my face.
[sighs]
I don't remember there being a memorial here.
"Sara Lance. Struck down by a unicorn."
Bollocks.
Gary, you're late.
Uh, sorry, Mr. Heywood.
My cat-sitter quit on me, so...
This place is going to hell in a handbasket.
Yeah, it's my bad, sir.
Look, the Custodians of the Chronology
just destroyed a freaking leprechaun, all right?
You know what? If you see them,
tell them they're getting a scream-down from me.
One more thing, Mr. Heywood.
Have you seen John Constantine around?
Is that a joke?
He's been in confinement for months! You put him there.
Idiots!
This isn't the "when" when I'm supposed to be. [grunts]
[Desmond] Johnny... Johnny...
[screaming]
[Constantine] No, the truth is not the truth, all right?
This is not the "when" when I'm supposed to be.
[Desmond] You should go. This was real, Johnny.
Reality is fractured,
but the pieces, they speak to each other,
like light between broken mirrors.
John Constantine.
Confined for becoming dangerously unstable after suspected time crimes.
Are you real? Do you exist? Because it's really hard to tell these days.
Yeah, bloke's gone cuckoo.
[Constantine sighs]
Ha!
I sense a familiar face.
- Who is that? Z? - [meows]
Z, is that you?
Why the transmogrification? Let's get this sorted out.
- [growls] - Ooh!
Yeah, all right, I'm sorry,
but this is the only way that you will know your true self.
[chanting]
Oh, finally.
[coughing hoarsely]
Hairball.
Because of you dicks, I have been a cat for so long.
Do you know where this tongue has been?
Places.
I wasn't sure that reversal was gonna work, because I've been feeling
a little, you know, insane lately.
Yeah. You only have yourself to blame.
Wait, what?
You created a time wave when you changed your past with Desmond.
Because you're the epicenter,
your experience of this timeline and that one
both exist in your brain.
Just give me a break here, right.
What you're trying to say is that I broke time?
Yes. Back in New Orleans.
Sure, you don't have to live with the guilt of damning Desmond,
but you also never joined the Legends.
Without John's help with the unicorn at Woodstock, Sara died,
which made the Legends into killers.
There's only one way to fix this...
We go back to Woodstock and we save Sara.
- Yeah. - No.
Guys, you're not listening to me.
You have to go to New Orleans and set history back on track.
Whoa, whoa, Z, you're suggesting a total reset of the timeline.
All we need is a surgical strike.
Now, if we save Sara,
then the Custodians of the Chronology never exist.
I keep my powers, Des is de-demoned. Bob's your uncle.
I'm sorry, guys. I have to stop you before you make this any worse.
Ow!
[chanting]
Right, then.
I'm sorry, love.
Until you can learn to stay out of my way,
- then you are a cat. - [hissing, yowling]
In the mood for a prison break?
Yes, I am.
- [Zari meows] - Is the coast clear?
[objects clatter]
How much of that did you hear?
Uh... [chuckles nervously]
Nothing at all. Nothing about breaking out or hacking history.
Please don't turn me into a cat.
Well, I didn't turn her into a cat. I returned her to being a cat,
which is considerably easier, believe me.
But if you gotta, maybe a calico. And real fluffy.
Okay, I'm ready. Do it.
- What are we gonna do with her? - I've no idea.
You don't have to do anything. I want to help.
You do?
The Custodians of the Chronology must be stopped.
They turned my Kaupe friend into a rug.
So, if you're trying to defeat them, I want in.
[Constantine] Watch the bumps, yeah?
- [Constantine] Oi. - [Mona shushes] Someone might hear you!
[automated voice] Red alert! The Waverider is landing. Red alert!
Oh, man, the Custodians are here. Could things get any worse?
Wait! Stop right there! Are you me?
Yes.
From the future.
[gasps]
Do I ever find love? Or at least, my sunglasses?
- They might be in my other pants. - Yes, Gary. All that, and more.
- [weapon fires] - [glass shattering]
[Ray] It's the Custodians. Notify Mr. Heywood...
But right now, I need you to delay the Custodians.
Okay! Oh, but be careful.
There's been reports of a shapeshifter on the loose.
Yeah, I know that already.
Because I'm you from the future, dummy.
[gasps]
[chuckles]
Okay, okay.
Come on. We gotta find a place to hide.
Knock, knock. Anybody home?
- [alarm trilling] - [music playing]
[Constantine] Come on, hurry up. Let me out of this thing.
[groaning]
Where are we?
This is Ava's office. But she's gone.
Gone, gone?
[Ava] I'm right here, you idiots.
[Nate] Dad.
We tracked a shapeshifter here,
so, we're gonna need you to stand down
and let us do our job and bag it for you.
Your job, son, is to bring the creatures back to the Bureau alive.
Not leave their insides strewn through history.
It's called payback for what they did to Sara, and don't get in our way.
Sharpie, what happened to you?
I'm allowed to grieve in my own way.
Why the hell are you out of your cell?
Oh, plans change, love.
Are you sure you're okay, Director Sharpe?
I'm fine!
I'm just taking some time to get my head together after Sara was...
Unicorned.
[Charlie] I'm really sorry about that.
Things are not as they seem.
- Amaya? - No.
Well, it's a long story, but time is... Well, broken.
What are you talking about?
You see, you're living in a timeline that doesn't exist,
and we are from a timeline where your hair is still blond.
Okay, I don't have time for this timey-wimey crap...
No! No, this is the truth.
Now, listen. The Custodians of the Chronology
are actually the Legends of Tomorrow,
and they're the good guys. Mostly.
Yeah. And the kicker is, Sara is supposed to be alive.
Did you say Sara's alive?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I knew it! I knew something was wrong.
I mean, I like the Indigo Girls, but they should not be a way of life.
Then let's help them set things right.
What do you guys need from me?
[Ray] Well, well, well. Look who's helping our magical fugitive.
[man shouting commands]
We were looking for you.
[man] Got eyes on suspects.
Thought you might wanna have some fun.
I got 12 gauges of fun right here.
That's it. I'm placing you all under arrest.
Shut your mouth, Pops.
Go!
[man] Take cover.
[Hank] Get them out of here!
[all grunting]
[groans]
[gunshots]
I'll cover you. Go save Sara.
[yelling]
[panting]
Did they really all just kill each other?
Don't think about it.
We'll go back in time and we'll fix things. We have to.
Target ahead. Arming the weapons now.
Is that what I think it is?
[Nate] Twilight Sparkle come to life...
[neighing]
We didn't screw things up for the better this year.
We screwed things up for the more magical.
- Yes! [chuckles] - Nice shot!
Who the hell is in the Jumpship?
Who cares? Mission accomplished.
And you guys thought we needed Constantine. [chuckles]
Yeah, we saved Sara's life. That should fix everything.
The Custodians should be back to being the Legends,
and Zari should no longer be a cat.
All right, this might be a crossed-wire thing in my brain,
but that is still a cat sitting there, isn't it?
Killing the unicorn didn't solve the problem.
- [Constantine grunts] - [meows]
No, Zari. We're not going back to New Orleans.
We need to find out what's wrong with this timeline and fix it.
All right, we go back to the Bureau, figure out our next step.
[Constantine] Charlie? Come on, talk to me, love. What's happening?
Is everything normal?
[sighs] No.
In fact, things are pretty far from normal.
No reason to panic. We still got this.
Right, we'll find out how the boys died in this timeline,
then we'll go back and save them.
And hopefully, when they return,
they won't be magical-creature murderers.
Right. Sounds so simple.
[woman] Hey, watch it.
Out of the way, suckers.
Make way for SOS.
What the hell is "SOS"?
[tires screeching]
[grunting]
[grunts]
Good morning, Sirens.
[all] Good morning, Hank.
I hope you're ready to go to work today,
because we have one hell of a case on our hands.
If anyone knows what happened to the guys, it'll be them.
Hang tight on the ship.
Looks like I'm joining the SOS.
All right, ladies. Weapons check.
[guns powering up]
Way ahead of ya, babe.
My pistol's hot and ready.
Hey, girls. Save some fun for me.
Amaya, what are you doing here?
We thought you went back to 1942.
I did, but then I...
I heard about your monster problem, and, well, I couldn't stay away.
It's perfect timing. We are up to our peaches
with magical creatures, and about to kick some ass.
I'm in.
- [meows] - [Constantine grunting]
[Desmond] Johnny, be honest with me.
[Constantine] This thing between us,
it isn't real, it never was, it doesn't exist.
- [screaming] - Get it together, John!
[grunting] Come on! Get your head together!
[exhales deeply]
[Zari meowing]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're thinking.
You want me to put things back the way they were,
but that's not gonna bloody happen.
- [exhales] - [meows]
No. I'm not all right, to be honest.
[Zari growls]
So, what kind of fun costumes are we gonna need for this mission?
We don't do costumes anymore.
Yeah, we stopped, so we could streamline the missions.
Yeah, why get all dressed up if we're
just wasting these magical creatures straightaway?
Please tell me you don't keep a trophy room of their skulls.
[all laugh]
What do we look like, barbarians?
No, we just toss them.
- You, what? - [Agent Sharpe] Yeah.
Ever since that Fairy Godmother killed Nate, Ray and Rory,
we just waste any magical creature that comes in our path.
No questions asked.
Well, they can't all be bad.
We haven't met a good one.
Hey, how's Zambesi?
- Hmm? Who? - [Gideon] Zambesi?
Where you're from?
It's great. Yeah, it's like, chill.
Super chill. [chuckles]
If I do what you ask, I'd be sending Desmond to hell.
[grunts]
[meows]
Yeah, I know. Maybe I deserve this insanity.
Oh, you're all soft.
[Charlie over comms] Oi, wake up, losers.
I know how to fix it.
Right, we gotta take care of the Fairy Godmother in Salem.
Fire up the ship. I'm heading up there now.
- [gun cocking] - [Sara] Cor blimey!
No more tea and crumpets for this dodgy doppelganger!
Hard Drive here knew you weren't really Amaya all along.
I'm equipped to detect shapeshifter pheromones.
How fortunate our white whale swam right into our net.
What is it with you guys and white whales?
You really think you three can take me?
Oh, I can take you alone.
[all laughing]
Damn it! Get back here!
Hi. How were the Sirens of Space-time?
Well, they're not the Custodians.
They may actually be worse.
[Zari meows]
[Charlie] Now, let's go save the lads.
The three of you have been so rude, with your nasty attitude.
It will be ever so sublime to slowly choke you out with vines
Whatever you're gonna do, Charlie, you better make it fast.
I got this.
...peach or cherry
Any good thing to make us all merry
Prudence?
Fairy Godmother, are you finished?
- That was fast. - Yes.
And I was thinking,
if I'm to be your Fairy Godmother,
you must start behaving like a proper young lady.
How do you mean?
Nothing dreadful or out of the ordinary.
Just chores, daily baths,
church service each morning,
and you must start eating broccoli.
But I don't want all that.
Well, until our bond is severed,
I'm afraid that's the way it must be.
Now, eat the broccoli.
Fairy Godmother, I relinquish you!
That's cool.
I'll only become satiated
When you're all asphyxiated
My bond with Prudence has been severed!
[gun cocking]
Oh, fiddlesticks.
You know, I hate to jinx this, but I really think
we nailed it this time.
[Zari] I just hope you guys are right.
What's wrong?
What are you looking at?
Is there something on my nose?
Bollocks!
[Charlie] Anything yet?
Don't rush me, love. Who knows what surprises wait for us in here?
[woman] Looks like there's reptilians in the Renaissance.
Sounds like a team meeting. I'll just pop in and say hello, shall I?
[woman] So, put on your period-appropriate boots,
'cause we are going lizard stomping.
Hey, everybody, look. It's our good friend, John Constantine!
[all] Yay!
What the...
[all singing] Flying through history
Solving some mysteries
We give bad guys the boot
In superhero suits
We'll win a victory
By stopping witchery
So, they've got magic
Well, we've got heart and fabric
Puppets of Tomorrow!
Today!
[announcer] Welcome to DC's Puppets of Tomorrow.
...Fraggle Rock is going on here?
Well, today we learned about the importance of cooperating.
And about the number three.
And about a famous man from history named Napoleon.
[all] Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
I think I need a drink.
Ooh, we can help!
[music playing]
When you're thirsty for a drink
And you just can't reach the sink
You gotta ask for help!
Oh, stop! All right, please, please.
- No more singing. - [both groan]
Just tell me. Why are you puppets?
Because Rory called us "a bunch of Time Bureau puppets."
Yeah, and then he ran off with his new partner in crime.
[rock music playing]
So? Did you figure out how I turned into a damn puppet?
[Constantine] It's worse than I thought.
After we managed to separate the Fairy Godmother from Prudence,
she somehow glommed onto Rory.
You can probably figure out the rest.
- [groans] - We're just gonna have to keep fixing
what's broken until we get it right.
[Constantine] Yeah.
[sighs]
Damn it!
Nope.
Hmm...
Mmm-mmm.
[sighs]
No plaques!
[sighs]
No plaques! No plaques! We did it.
I'm chuffed to bits! Everyone's alive,
Zari's human again, and I still have my powers.
That's smashing news, love.
Yeah. I mean, sure, it took us a few cracks, but fixed the timeline.
- See that, Zari? - John, are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, never better.
[Zari] John? John!
[groans]
What happened?
[Charlie] Passed out, mate.
[Zari] He didn't just pass out.
His brain can't handle this wad of bandages you call a timeline.
I can take the pain, love.
What if you can't?
What if you die, John?
What happens to all the people who need you alive and Constantine-ing?
You can leave that to the real heroes, all right?
Because I'm done giving a damn.
Oh...
I see.
This isn't about saving Desmond anymore.
It's an excuse for you to give up on yourself.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just leave him alone, will ya?
You think because there's no plaques, the world is fixed?
I promise you, it's just as messed up out there
as it is in John's brain.
[Constantine grunts]
I know you don't want to send Desmond to hell,
but that doesn't have to be the end of the story.
You of all people can find a way to keep fighting for him.
Go to New Orleans and set things right.
Don't listen to her! Come on, John. It's you and me.
We can make this timeline work.
No, Charlie.
We've tried over and over and over to get what we wanted,
and it hasn't worked.
But Zari's right.
There's still hope for Desmond.
Maybe there's still hope for your powers, too.
"Hope"?
My powers aren't some magic trick, they're who I am.
I'm not gonna just sit around and hope that they come back.
I'll fight for them.
[sighs]
[grunts]
[door closes]
This ain't over.
Not by a long shot.
[portal opens]
[Sara] Ava? I wasn't expecting to see you here.
Yeah, the Bureau got an emergency alert
about a magical presence in New Orleans, 2018.
I thought maybe we could check it out together.
Let's get to work.
Cool.
[grunting]
I didn't live this specific moment, but I remember it.
It's all part of my jumbled bloody memory.
By the way, only about 10% of what you're saying makes any sense.
But by all means, continue.
Right, so, the earliest me just left for the market.
The other one is upstairs breaking up with Des right now.
And when Des leaves upset,
I'll stop him, put things back to normal.
[Zari] All right, good luck.
Blimey, that's a lot of ammo.
"Blimey"?
Oh, I meant, wow!
All right, boys, orders are shoot to kill.
Wait, wait, wait. Shouldn't we discuss
what kind of creature we're dealing with here?
We can't just go in guns a-blazing.
What if whatever's causing this is just a little misguided?
- It's a magical fugitive. - We kill those.
You two head out. Stay on the comms.
[Mick] Hmm.
I killed the man I loved, and for what,
to buy New Orleans a little more time.
Neron needs souls...
Okay, right,
I think that something should be landing right here any second now.
I work alone.
Got it.
All right, Gideon, what are we looking at?
[Gideon] I've located multiple targets on the ground,
each one with a substantial magical signature.
Do we have a visual yet?
[Gideon] Coming up now.
[Sara] Wait. That's John Constantine, and there's more than one of him.
Looks like our shapeshifter has a shapeshifter friend.
Wait a second. How do you know that
that's not really Constantine out there?
Because it's John Constantine. He doesn't time-travel.
Believe me, I tried to recruit him.
Okay, so, why don't we capture all three of them
so we can find out if any of them are the real John?
What is wrong with you?
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine. I'm just a firm believer in taking precautions.
[chuckles]
"Precautions." Good one.
Ray, Rory, what's your status?
All right, we're in position.
We got sights on the shapeshifter.
When do we get to shoot?
[Sara] All right, on my mark, open fire.
Sara, don't!
Damn it, Ava. Why not?
Because I'm the shapeshifter.
Guys, stand down. We have a code blue on the ship.
What the hell is a "code blue"?
Just don't shoot yet.
[Desmond] If there's something going on in your life, just be honest with me.
Yeah, do you know what, this thing between us,
it isn't real, it never was, it doesn't exist.
You should go.
Yeah, you're right. I should.
But this was real, Johnny.
[door opens and closes]
Hey, you dropped this.
My phone.
How did you get down here? You were just upstairs.
Yeah, never mind about that right now.
I have something really important to tell you.
You know what, I think you've said quite enough today already.
No, Des, please.
Give me a minute, all right?
[Sara] So, you're the shapeshifter.
Why do you look like Amaya?
[sighs] It is complicated,
but this is how you know me.
What's happened to the Legends to make you like this?
What do you mean?
You guys are so intent on killing magical creatures.
Can't you see that this is wrong?
[sighs]
Not really.
Look, now, I know this sounds crazy,
but the "me" you were just speaking to upstairs, he's my past.
So, you break up with me out of the blue,
act like a total ass.
And suddenly, that's in the past.
- Just like that? - No, listen, literally,
that is me from ages ago,
but the person who is standing in front of you right now
is a little bit older and he's a little bit wiser.
Sure. Still playing games, clearly.
Look,
I thought this was real.
It is real, Des. And that's why I moved heaven and earth,
so that I could save you from a lifetime, an eternity
of anguish, anguish that I caused.
Look... I guess what I'm trying to say is
I'm sorry you ever even met me.
Don't be sorry.
[chuckles]
Only a fool would fall in love with John Constantine
and not expect it to be rocky.
I knew the risks.
And I took them anyway.
For you.
I'm still pissed at you.
Why can't we just go back to the way things were?
That's exactly what I was thinking.
What is that?
Know one thing, Desmond...
I'm not quitting on you.
Sara, crazy-looking Constantine just memory-flashed a civilian.
Can we shoot him yet?
[Sara] Wait for my signal.
I'm dealing with a situation.
[groans]
Constantine might be...
[Ray] Sara? Sara?
[Sara] Hold on a second, Ray.
Where did you get that?
[Sara] Look, I don't know who you are,
or why you are on my ship,
but you're never leaving.
Oh, hello, handsome.
What are you doing, standing in the middle of the street?
I wa... Um...
- You went to the market... - I did.
Next thing I knew, I was standing in the street.
I don't know.
[both chuckle]
[Charlie] Wait, Sara, please.
Just tell me why you're so intent on killing magical creatures.
Because that's how we stay alive.
[groans]
[grunts angrily] Stop doing that!
- Don't you remember London? - No.
When you and I first met,
and I helped you see the truth about magical creatures?
And how did you do that?
By being me.
By showing you that I'm not here to hurt humans.
That not all "monsters" need to be put down.
That's cute, but it never happened.
What?
How can you not remember?
[gasps] Bollocks.
Because of Constantine, you and I never met
and you never changed.
I'm the missing ingredient in every one of these botched timelines.
I'm sorry, but all I see is a threat that needs to be taken out.
Ray, fire when ready.
[weapons powering up]
- [Desmond] You got eggs? - I've got the eggs.
I got the bread. Got everything we need.
- Soufflé? - Soufflé, but first things first.
[groaning]
[Sara] You need to be a part of a team.
[Constantine] Your shapeshifting days are over, sweetheart.
[Charlie] No!
[Fairy Godmother] I know who's coming for you!
[Constantine] Choosing a life of magic, it never leads to a happy ending.
[Zari] That's the thing about time travel.
There's always a way.
I'm sorry, Des.
[sighs]
[Zari] John, you okay?
Yeah, well...
My mind is no longer split in two, but...
I can't say the same about my heart, though.
You?
Well, lost my powers.
Back to being mortal.
Sorry, guys. It had to be done.
Well, let's go and find the Legends, shall we?
- Yeah, see if all this was worth it. - Yeah.
Well, everything seems pretty normal so far.
[Puppet Stein] This isn't over, you ding-a-lings!
You better watch your knees, Sara Lance.
Oh, no. Is everyone a puppet again?
What?
- What are you talking about? - I'll kill you all!
I've got an anti-magic isolation chamber
with your name on it, Mike the Spike.
The usual insanity that passes for normal around here.
What is this? Why are you being so weird?
Well, I do have a little bit of a tale to tell, to be honest.
Do you fancy a drink?
Hmm, one of those stories. Let's go.
Hey, Zari. I want to say that I'm sorry.
For what? For stuffing me into a bag or almost destroying all of history?
Well, yeah, that, too.
But what I'm really sorry about is that we got off on the wrong foot.
You're a shapeshifter. Your whole deal is tricking people.
Yeah, but now, I'm being honest with you.
You know, I could have been anyone when I got my powers back.
Do you know why I kept coming back to this form?
Because Amaya is very hot?
It's because this is the form I was when I joined the Legends.
Now, I've been a part of many crews.
And you guys... Well,
you're not rubbish.
Listen, destroying history for personal gain,
it's happened to almost everyone here.
Rite of passage.
So, you think I'm hot, then?
[door opens]
I made snickerdoodles with your recipe.
Not bad.
Hmm.
I'm reading your novel. I'm on the last chapter.
Your female characters are shallow,
libidinous, and so much fun to read.
[grunts] Thanks.
Yeah. Good job... "Rebecca Silver"?
- Nom-de-plum. - Got it.
So, let me get this straight.
They're making love on the surface of the sun?
It's a metaphor.
Got it.
[Constantine] And the worst part...
It didn't even make a bloody difference.
I was a fool,
thinking I could outrun this fight flying around with you lot.
Yeah, we tend to fly directly into fights.
[chuckles softly]
But we do it together.
And we have your back.
As long as you know what you're getting yourself into.
Because a demon like Neron doesn't just want to win.
He wants to win in the cruelest possible way.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
The Kaupe escaped?
Here's what I want you to do.
Track him down and recapture him, or else.
[cell phone beeps]
[clears throat] Um...
There has been a setback.
But we'll make it right.
Oh, you'd better.
[theme music playing]