Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com
Atta boy, son! See?
Levitation isn't hard! Just don't get cocky.
That shouldn't be a problem, 'cause I'm so awesome!
- Add another tomato, Pops. - Whoa, Louie.
You're just learning this trick. Let's play it safe.
Play it safe?
This country was founded by men who didn't play it safe.
Like that one guy with the wig. And the other guy with the name.
I think there was a talking horse.
I'm hiring you a tutor.
Tomato me!
Four tomatoes?
Yawn.
Wow, Louie, I'm impressed.
I thought if I added another one you'd just...
Do something like that.
A coconut?
Now where did that even come from?
(Knocking on door) Knock-a-doodle-doo!
Knock-a-doodle-don't.
So Ray, I was just wondering if you had any plans this Saturday.
- This Saturday? - Mm-hmm.
Yes, very busy! Could not possibly fit in...
I'm not doing another one-woman show.
Then I'm completely free.
I know it sounds crazy, but...
I want you to haunt the bakery.
There's this annual Ghost Crawl. It's a tour that takes people
to haunted attractions around the city.
I want the bakery to be one of those stops.
Hmm, I hear those things can be big money-makers.
Oh, Ray, this isn't about the... oh, I can't even pretend.
I really want to go to Hawaii.
Fear not, Michelle.
You want scares? You've come to the right ghosts!
Putting on an epic haunt will be a piece of cake!
Well...
This couldn't get any more embarrassing.
I stand corrected.
(Spooky rock music)
(Woman) ♪ If you move into a haunted house ♪
♪ You gotta try to work things out ♪
(Man) ♪ So if you're living with a ghost or three ♪
(Both) ♪ You gotta be one big, semi-scary family ♪
♪ Don't know how we ended up this way ♪
♪ But I guess you could call us ♪
♪ The Haunted Hathaways ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The Haunted Hathaways ♪
Michelle, I'm telling you!
You need me to be a part of this haunt!
You've seen my werewolf, right?
(As Elvis) Thank you, thank you very much.
Yeah, I'm going with Ray.
I'm sorry, but the head of the ghost tour
is coming this Saturday to see if this place is worthy
and I need everything to go well.
Don't worry, I'll give this guy all the haunt he can handle.
This is an outrage. An outrage!
(♪ Drum solo ♪)
Louie has left the building.
He tried to be a werewolf again, didn't he?
Girls, there you are.
You know I'm hosting a ghost tour this Saturday.
I can't believe you're doing that... I thought we didn't want
people to know we have ghosts.
If you want money, you could put on your one-woman show!
Yeah, that's the best time for me to wear my "I'm not sleeping" glasses.
Taylor, we have been over this. No one is going
to find out our secret. This is just for fun.
People don't take these things seriously.
(Ray) Besides, these things are always filled with out-of-town tourists.
Fine, I have plans with my friends that day anyway.
You mean your friends and Frankie.
I need you to look after her.
- What? - Oh, boy.
You can look after your sister for one afternoon.
But Mom, Saturday the gymnastic team's building our school Mardi Gras float.
Float? That means pyrotechnics.
I'm in. I'm gonna go charge up my trusty blowtorch.
That's just a figure of speech.
Did someone mention Mardi Gras?
No, I said "party slaw." Can't have a picnic without it.
Ooh, picnic! Can I come?
Ugh, I'm too tired to keep this up.
I'm building a Mardi Gras float.
Please don't ask if you can help.
That was so not what I was... so can I?
Sorry, but this is a gymnastics team thing.
Which is why Frankie shouldn't be there, either.
I don't want to hear another word about it, she's going!
- (Groans) - Hey!
At the end of the day it's about being there for your family.
Okay, so about Saturday?
Make sure Louie is nowhere near me.
How awesome is this?
It's really coming together. We might even get first place.
Hey, know what's cool about this float?
Me neither.
Frankie, can you just sit there quietly and not be a public nuisance?
You sound like airport security.
If you want this float to be good, you gotta think big.
I'm talking alligators.
Water cannons.
Alligators firing water cannons!
Why is no one writing this down?
Does she really have to be here?
Tay, we only have a few hours to get this ready.
We can't afford distractions.
Don't worry, I can handle my sister.
(Susan) Taylor?
Stay still!
Starting now.
She's no alligator, but if we strap her to a pole,
she could soak a crowd from 30 feet!
Frankie, come with me, please.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Well, that Susan's a real drama queen, huh?
Frankie, your ideas? Are amazing.
So amazing, I'm putting you in charge of
decorating the most crucial part of the float.
The front.
Really?
What's your angle?
No angle. You just know how to get people's attention. Like at that swim meet
when you put a fake shark fin in the pool?
Because of me, that one kid set a state record.
Okay, I'll do it.
Have fun. We're counting on you.
So, you're gonna let her stay?
It's the back of the float. She can do what she wants,
then we can cover the whole thing up with a tarp.
Genius!
Yep! Problem solved.
Now we can focus on the float. Just the three of us.
Hey, you.
So Ray, I hear this Loomis guy from the ghost tour
is a bit of a snob, so when he gets here
I need you to really act like a scary ghost.
I am a scary ghost.
Maybe lose the slippers?
And I trust that you talked to Louie about not interfering, right?
I actually haven't seen him for a while.
(Louie) Ah-choo!
(Louie) Me either, sayeth the milk pitcher.
Louie, what did I tell you?
No fooling around during Michelle's big meeting, got it?
(Loomis) Ms. Hathaway?
He's here. Uh, get ready!
Mr. Loomis? Hi, I'm Michelle Hathaway.
What a pleasure to finally meet you.
Mm-hmm, I'm sure it is.
May I offer you a muffin?
Ms. Hathaway, let's cut to the chase.
I have the most impressive ghost tour in New Orleans, and
looking around here, the only thing I could call frightening is that blouse.
Mr. Loomis, I promise you are about to see something truly terrifying.
I can't shave my 'stache. I just look too good.
'Course they don't appear on command,
as much as you'd like them to.
(In a Southern accent) Oh, I do declare!
The terror's almost too much!
(Ray) Ho, ho,
(Evil laugh)
Leave my house!
That was magnificent.
I am so glad you liked it.
Well, not your overacting. But the haunt itself was top-notch!
Congratulations, you're on the tour.
Thank you, Mr. Loomis. We'll see you tonight.
Great haunt, Dad. But it was missing one illusion.
A ferocious werewolf.
Louie, no!
(Louie) (Howls)
Okay, yeah, don't know what this is all about,
but I'd lose it before tonight.
Miles, I told you this was entrants only.
Okay, I know I promised to stay away,
but I super-duper promised not to critique anything.
Ah, Sophie, your balloon distribution is so bad, it's giving me hives!
You know what?
I could actually use your expertise.
Frankie is working on the crucial front of the float,
and it would be great if you could use all your wisdom to advise her.
There you are!
Look, during the parade, I'll be launching fireworks at the crowd through
this clown's mouth.
In case my aim is off, my question to you is,
which friend do you like the least?
Frankie.
It's Susan, isn't it?
Anyway, look who came by to lend a hand.
With you two doing the front of the float, We are definitely taking top prize.
My dream team!
Taylor, have you seen that clown head she's building?
It's weird-looking.
Guys, don't worry. When the parade starts,
all I have to do is untie a rope, and the back of the float
will be covered by a huge tarp.
So, I guess we're the Dream Team!
No offense, but I got this. Taylor called me "gifted."
I couldn't argue.
Really? Hmm, that's strange.
She rarely compliments me.
She never compliments you!
But what are you saying?
Let me see something.
(Gasps) This is the back of the float!
We've been played.
I can't believe this.
I let my ego cloud my judgment.
My colleagues in Russia would laugh at my weakness.
You have colleagues in Russia?
I was joking.
(Laughter)
Go ahead, yuk it up for now, ladies.
(Speaking Russian)
Son, there you are.
I've been looking all over for you.
I forgot what bird you turned into, and I thought you were this owl.
You know, your dad's a great listener.
He convinced me to go back to college.
That's nice, but I needed some alone time.
Son, I know you blame yourself when you mess up your ghosting...
I don't blame myself, I blame you.
Excuse me?
I live in a house where I can't haunt.
I have to practice my ghosting in an attic with stupid tomatoes.
Where do those keep coming from?
Louie, I don't know what to say.
Finally Michelle wants some haunting and you won't even let me do that.
You're just not ready yet.
And I'll never be unless you let me practice!
(Owl) You know, the kid is making some sense.
Hoo.
Sorry, but not tonight.
This ghost tour is really important to Michelle.
She wants me to handle it.
That's why I'm afraid you're gonna need to wear these.
The Gunderson Mittens?
That take away ghosting abilities?!
I want my Father's Day card back!
- You never gave me one. - Good.
And I'm not putting those on.
Come here!
You're acting like a 4-year-old!
I respectfully disagree!
And I'm not putting on those mittens.
In fact, I'm throwing them through the portal.
Louie, look what you did!
Oops.
Snap these off me.
What is that?
Told you I need more practice.
Ooh, when did we get that?
(Gasps) Welcome to Pie Squared, the scariest bakery in all of New Orleans.
Except for the muffins, they're delicious and reasonably priced.
Moving on.
I hope we see some spirits sooner, rather than later.
As you know, one never knows when a ghost will make an appearance.
But rest assured, you will be terrified when they do.
Michelle, I got stupid mittens stuck on my hands.
Excuse me just for a minute.
What do you mean, you have mittens stuck on your hands?
- Take them off. - I've been trying, I can't!
And once they're locked on, they take away your ghost powers.
What?
- What are we gonna do? - Stall them!
I'll go to Ghost World and get the store to take them off.
It shouldn't take long.
(Loomis) Ms. Hathaway, today please.
How do I stall them, I mean, I've gotta do something
to entertain them while you're away!
My one-woman show!
♪ Who's that woman with style and grace? ♪
♪ It's Me-chelle, Me-chelle ♪
Good job, sis! Keep it up.
Thanks, sis! Love ya!
I'm gonna blow the tires off this box of lies
and roll it right into the mighty Mississippi.
Or we can keep you out of jail, using my plan. I found the best way
to get back at someone who think they're outsmarting you,
is to outsmart them.
Observe.
Miles, that's the most twisted, disturbing thing I've ever seen.
I've never felt closer to you.
Where's Ray? He's not back yet?
- Nope. - I can't stall anymore.
The tour group's finished all the free muffins
and Mr. Loomis broke my keytar.
If my bakery isn't haunted in the next few minutes,
I'm gonna be kicked off the Ghost Crawl.
It certainly seems that way.
Would you maybe consider coming down and giving it a try?
Oh, so before you thought I was a terrible ghost, but now you want my help?
Great, we're on the same page.
I'm not sure now's a good time for me.
I was just about to...
wash my hair.
For goodness' sake, where's Ray?
Number 60. Number 60 is next.
I'm 75. How can you only be on 60?
Oh, you're right, sir.
That's my bad.
Number 9, Number 9 is next.
Make way, make way, official police business.
Hey, you got these stuck on yourself, too?
No, I didn't get these "stuck on myself, too."
What do you think, I'm a loser?
Mother put them on.
She doesn't like it when I touch the remote.
Come on, Ray! Where are you?
Where are you, where are you, where are you?
You know, Michelle, you really hurt my feelings.
I did?
A lot of people judge me about my ghosting, but you never did, until today.
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
I really didn't mean to.
When I get nervous, I tend to mess things up.
Me too. I think that's why you and I get along so well.
Yeah. I think it is.
Come on, I'm gonna go downstairs and haunt those people good.
Yay, thank you, thank you! What are you gonna do?
Don't know yet, but they're gonna be frozen in fear.
How great is this?
We crushed it. It's time to line up.
Ready to kick this thing into gear, Meadow?
(Car horn melody plays)
Good, the air holes are working.
Just one more loose end to tie up then we'll be on our way.
Hey, we have to head out now,
so I'll just put the protective tarp over your work.
You know, just until we get underway.
Oh, and also, we're going to drive to the line-up in reverse.
Well, I just wanted to say I had a blast today,
and the best part was, you trusted me
with the front of the float. You believed in me.
You believed in us.
So, do you want to see what we did?
Sure, of course I do.
What?
Well, what do you think?
You guys, this is awesome!
We ditched all my crazy ideas to come up with something more festive.
I love it. You know what?
I don't even think I'll use the tarp.
I want everyone to see this.
Great job, you guys.
Hit it, Meadow!
(Engine starts) This is going to be the best Mardi Gras parade ever!
(When the Saints Come Marching In plays)
(Continuous fart noises)
You have no idea.
(Fart noises continue)
Oh. My apologies, folks.
This stop has been a colossal failure.
We're leaving. (Michelle) Or!
You can sit back down, and prepare to be terrified.
Don't tell me you have a back-up keytar.
No, I'm talking about ghosts levitating things across the room.
You can do this, L-Train.
Behold the horror of the...
dancing cupcake.
This is a train wreck.
People, while there may be some paranormal presence here,
it's obvious we are witnessing a weak and pathetic spirit.
This ghost is a total zero.
Hold it!
I've got something to say to you, you snooty creep.
Just because my Louie may not know every trick in the world
doesn't make him weak.
In fact, he's the strongest ghost I know, because he never gives up.
You are the zero here. Now get out of my bakery.
Oh, I'm leaving.
And never coming back.
Don't worry, Michelle. I'm gonna get you your haunt.
- What's going on? - It's party time!
♪ Hey, everybody! Look at me! ♪
♪ My name is Loomis and I'm a dummy ♪
♪ I like to sing and I like to dance ♪
♪ But one thing I hate is wearing pants ♪
(Applause)
Whoo!
Louie, you did it! That was amazing!
Thanks for sticking up for me.
That's what mothers do.
You know what would be funny?
If I zipped into that pillow and you hugged it?
Hey, hey, hey!
Got my mittens off!
- Where is everyone? - They just left.
But don't worry.
Louie saved the day.
He did?
Ha, ha! That's my boy!
- You okay, Michelle? - Mm-hmm.
I just really love this pillow.
Miles, I gotta say, I'm impressed with how you handled the float.
I never knew you had that in you.
Let's just say Miles Preston has no problem getting his hands dirty.
Oh no, my hands are actually dirty.
Where are my wipes?
Don't ruin it.
Fun parade?
Heard it was a... toot.
I was completely humiliated.
Like we were when we found out we were decorating the back of the float.
That stung, Taylor. Now we're even.
Okay, fine, maybe I deserved a tiny little bit of what you did.
But the whole school is laughing at me.
It's going to take me a very long time to forgive you two.
(Cell phone alert)
First prize for most creative float?
We did it!
"Dream team" on three.
One, two...
(Louie) What's a pillow got to do to get in on this?
Let's go do this in the kitchen.
(Louie) Hey, get back here!