Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com
Hey, mom, can be borrow 5,000 bucks for a rooftop trampoline?
Before you say no, say yes.
No.
Come on.
We'll let you use it.
(Whispering)
I may have spoken out of turn.
Guys, if you want money, you have to work hard and earn it.
Or you could go on a reality show, like I plan on doing.
Not one where you have to sing, right?
Because the judges on those can be really mean
and you're...
Beautiful.
I was talking about antiques Avenue.
People bring in old junk and sometimes find out it's worth a fortune.
Watch.
(With Southern accent) I heard you almost
threw this little plate away 'cause you thought
it was uglier than a gator in a prom dress.
(Giggles)
It's worth $4,000.
Yeah, I bet it's a lot prettier now.
(Laughing) Oh, yes, it is.
See that?
And we've got tons of stuff lying around the house, like this piece of junk.
I made that for you in the first grade.
And I love it.
(Panting) Guys.
Huddle up. Miles is coming down.
He wants to introduce you to a new girl he really likes.
You made me huddle for this?
(Sighs) There's more.
When you see her, you're gonna really freak out.
But you can't say anything.
One eyebrow? Webbed feet?
Now, this is a huddle.
No, it's not that.
It's... Never mind. She's coming.
What's so weird that we'd react like...
Aah.
Whoa, that girl looks exactly like...
(Snaps)
A lovely young woman.
Everybody, I'd like to you meet Tara.
We're doing a history report together.
Isn't she great?
As soon as I met her, it was like I'd known her for years.
(Spits)
That's because she looks exactly like...
(Snaps)
(Spits)
Miles, why don't you take tay... Ta...
That girl on a tour of the house.
Great idea.
- After you. - (Giggles)
Her hair smells like rainbows and anti-dandruff shampoo.
(Sighs)
How can he not see she looks exactly like Taylor?
Well, not exactly like me, right?
(All mumbling)
It's so creepy.
- We got to go make fun of her. - Yeah.
But I have better hair. We can all agree on that, right?
(All mumbling)
Nobody says anything.
Tara is just what Miles needs to get over Mirabelle.
Mm. I mean, am I creeped out?
(Shivers) But ray is right.
If Miles sees the resemblance, it'll ruin everything.
- Mm. - Yeah.
I definitely have better cheekbones.
There's no question.
Right?
(Spooky rock music)
♪ If you move into a haunted house ♪
♪ You gotta try to work things out ♪
♪ So if you're living with a ghost or three ♪
♪ You gotta be one big, semi-scary family ♪
♪ Don't know how we ended up this way ♪
♪ But I guess you could call us ♪
♪ The haunted hathaways ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The haunted hathaways ♪
♪ ♪
Frankie, get in here. You've got to see this.
(Panting) Awesome.
Do you have cheese feet again?
Yeah, but that's not it.
Look, somebody's selling a Tammy bear doll,
like the one Taylor had before Penelope bought it.
What you have here is a very rare Tammy bear with a beaver tail.
And that's a good kind of whoopsie.
(Laughing) Oh, yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
And since you have the original box,
I'm willing to make you an offer right now.
Here.
How does 8,000 smackeroos sound?
(Laughs) Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah, yeah, that's what... Yeah.
$8,000?
With that kind of cash, we could finally get that rooftop trampoline.
And, now, think.
Did that bear have a beaver tail?
- Absolutely. - You're just guessing.
Absolutely.
Taylor would know. She loved that stupid bear.
Both: Taylor!
Did your Tammy bear have a beaver tail?
(Laughs) No.
Maybe.
Okay, so what if she did?
It didn't make her weird. It made her special.
Did you keep the box she came in?
(Laughs)
What, like some kind of pathetic teenager who still pines for her lost Teddy?
Yes.
She's got it.
Now we just need to get the bear back from Penelope,
and, trampoline, here we come.
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo...
Hoo.
I blame the cheese feet.
Presenting miss Penelope pritchard.
(Groans) Help me.
What are you doing here, Penelope?
Probably wasting my time.
Francesca called and told me there was something urgent
regarding my Tammy doll.
Ugh, nothing good ever happens when you and my daughter get together.
(Imitating sirens wailing)
Oh, and the streak continues.
Penelope, step away from the Tammy bear.
You can stop now.
Francesca, what is going on here?
I just got word that all Tammy bear dolls are highly radioactive.
I see.
Miss Penelope, permission to panic?
Granted.
Run for your lives!
(Yelling)
Just place it down in my grabber and save yourself!
My Butler may be a dimwit, but I know you too well.
Fail!
What are you doing?
We need that bear.
Cut her in on the deal.
Partner with my sworn enemy? Never!
Your door's broken.
Shocker.
Three words, Frankie.
Trampoline.
(Sighs) Okay, fine.
(Sighs)
Here's the deal, princess.
You've got a bear. I've got a box.
If we team up, we could make a lot of money.
Partner with my sworn enemy? Never!
It's worth $8,000.
Bring it in, sister.
I'm not a hugger.
Ray, are you still watching them?
(Sighs) I can't handle this.
I know I was trying to be cool earlier, but it's too weird.
You need to calm down.
You want to know why I'm a happening parent?
I handle awkward situations with a little something called grace.
Observe.
What up, kiderinos?
Hey, Ms. hathaway.
(Gasps)
(Whispers) It looked at me.
And our paper is done.
Sending it to the teacher now.
(Computer beeps)
You know, it is so nice to work with someone
who loves learning as much as I do.
We are so getting an "a" in history.
And, uh...
We aren't doing so bad in chemistry either.
(Nervously) Hey, Tara.
Hey, Taylor.
Cute outfit.
Thanks.
You're also wearing clothes.
I'll go get us some snacks.
You two should get to know each other.
Okay, how weird is this?
Oh, I'm so glad you said something.
I wasn't sure if you noticed too.
How could I not?
I mean, you're human, and I'm a ghost.
Awkward.
Yeah, that's what's weird.
Anyway, it seems like you and Miles are hitting it off.
He's a great guy, huh?
Great at getting as.
What?
But you like him, right?
Oh, my gosh, you're just using him for the grade.
Okay, fine.
I needed to ace the report so I could pass my class.
You know how it goes.
No, I do not. He likes you.
Of course he does.
(Laughs) I mean, look at me.
Anyway, I'm done.
Wait, you can't just leave.
You have to let him down nicely.
Fine, I'll write him a note.
You're breaking up with him by note?
It's easier...
For me.
Well, see you.
Nurse Tammy, we've had some great times together, and this isn't good-bye.
Yeah, it is.
Here you go. We'll take cash.
Small bills. I want to roll around in it.
Well, aren't you two just the cutest little fritters?
Allow me to ring up this customer,
and I'll be with you in two shakes of a possum's snout.
(Laughs) Oh, yes, I will.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm hungry.
Go fetch me a lobster.
Again, Penelope, I'm not your Butler.
(Laughs)
Just remember the trampoline.
(Sighs) Fine.
Let's just get this over this.
Now, let's have a look-see at your bear.
Where'd it go?
What? Where is it?
I know what's going on here.
You two are funning with me.
Oh, yes, you are.
I got no time for that, okay?
Now, scoot along. It's time for lunch.
Oh, yes, it is.
That guy took our Tammy!
We've been bear-napped.
How does a bear just disappear?
It doesn't. We've been bear-napped.
Very original.
I'm gonna fire him.
He doesn't work for you.
Then I'm out of ideas.
I'm not.
We hide out here, and when he goes to lunch, we find our Tammy bear.
Here he comes!
There's no room for me.
Where should I hide?
Oh, yeah. Ghost.
I hear you growling at me, Mr. stomach.
Oh, don't you fret. I'm gonna take care of you.
Oh, yes, I will. Yeah.
Truly.
All right, now there's nothing stopping us from getting our doll back.
(With deep voice) Think again.
(All yelling)
What was that?
I think this place is haunted.
Me too.
Look, everybody just calm down.
Everybody?
Uh... You, me, everybody!
(Laughs nervously)
The point is, that was just a battery-operated toy.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
I'll go make sure.
(Door rattling)
We're locked in!
(Screams)
I'm really scared of small spaces!
Me too!
(Breathing deeply)
How are we gonna get out of here?
If only one of us had the ability to walk through a wall.
Back in a minute.
Hey, pal. Looking for me?
This is my toy shop.
I'm the only ghost who gets to haunt it.
Whoa.
I'm not here to haunt.
I just need to get that Tammy bear back.
No way.
It belongs to me now.
We'll see about that.
(Western music)
Hey, tay... Ra... Lor.
Ray, it's me, Taylor.
I knew that.
That's why I said your name so clearly and poked you with a broom.
I've got a problem.
Tara told me she's blowing off Miles...
With a note.
(Gasps)
"Dear Miles, we're done.
From Tara."
Poor Miles.
Well, he hasn't known her that long.
Maybe he'll be okay with it.
Oh, hey, guys.
What are you looking at?
Oh, don't tell me.
You're noticing that I'm back to my old self again
since I met Tara, who's so fantastic, she helped me get over Mirabelle.
Well, bingo.
He won't be okay with it.
He deserves to be let down easily.
If only Tara hadn't left the way she did.
Well, that girl's never coming back.
(Sighs)
Or is she?
(With a lisp) Miles and I are doing a history report together.
(Whispers) It talked to me.
Is it just me, or are the walls closing in on us?
It's just you.
Is it just me, or are we running out of oxygen?
It's just you.
(Breathing heavily)
Frankie, we've got problems.
These doors won't unlock, and the toy store has got a ghost
who won't give up the doll.
And I'm pretty sure he's got my legs right now.
(Yells)
- Is it just me, or... - It's just you!
It's always just you.
I'm scared.
(Breathing heavily)
Look, it's going to be okay.
- You just need to calm down. - How?
We're trapped, and we're never getting out of here.
(Breathing heavily)
I can't believe I'm about to do this.
(Continues breathing heavily)
Penelope, would you like to have a tea party with me?
A... A tea party?
Here?
I guess that'd be nice.
Oh, sure, but we need some guests.
What about her and him?
That's good.
Oh, and an afternoon tea isn't complete without a...
One-eyed squirrel.
Then we'll talk about him after he leaves.
They asked if it was all right, and I said, "it's croquet with me."
(Laughs)
I got to get out of here.
Hello.
(Panting)
Look, dude, I don't want to hurt you.
Just give me the doll, and I'll let you go.
(Panting)
I've got a better idea.
Toy possession battle.
Winner takes doll.
Fine.
Thanks to my possession skills, you're going down.
(Roaring)
That's what you picked?
A little dinosaur?
(Growling)
Get ready and say good night, because you're about to meet sir Louie.
(Clanking) Uh-oh.
(Roaring)
(Grunting)
Or maybe not.
Ow!
Don't forget, I have to look exactly like Tara
so I can gently let down Miles.
Mm, as long as I get to do your hair, I don't care.
Just make me plain and unattractive.
Oh, honey. You have my genes.
That is going to be a tremendous challenge.
But it's worth it.
You're doing a really sweet thing for Miles.
And it's really nice of you to help me.
Mm, we're good people.
Open up.
Where'd this retainer come from?
Oh, it was mine back in high school.
(Shudders)
Taylor, meet Tara.
Whoa.
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
I am.
And you're right.
I am a natural beauty.
(Whimpering)
Is that all you got?
Please tell me that's all you got.
(Roaring)
Ow!
Right in the South pole.
Looks like this is the end of the line, penguin.
(Roaring)
(Yells)
(Grunting)
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
(Grunting)
Ow!
Looks like the bear is mine.
(Engine roaring)
Looks like my ride is here.
(Grunts)
Louie... I mean, Tammy,
let's get out of here.
Is it just me, or did this doll just...
Just you.
(Tires screeching)
Taylor, remember, I'll take care of all the ghost stuff,
and you take care of all the "letting him down gently" stuff.
Okay. How do I look?
Great.
Taylor great or Tara great,
because they are two very different...
Shh.
- Oh, he's here? - No, just shh.
Now he's here.
Hey, Tara. I wasn't expecting you.
Don't get close to me.
I'm getting a cold.
Oh, is that why you kept running away from me at school today?
Yes, that's why.
But I dropped by to tell you something.
The thing is... I like you, but I like something else more:
Haunting.
- Haunting? - Mm.
I tried to give it up, but I miss it.
I miss it bad.
(Snaps)
(Chains rattling)
Tara, I don't know what to say.
Oh, this feels good
with the... Snapping and the moving
and the rattling.
Okay, I'm done now.
(Crashing)
I'm sorry, Miles. You're a fantastic guy.
Since that very first day we met in the class...
Nasium... Eteria?
Yeah, exactly where we met... Tara.
Well, I hate to say good-bye, but if it's what you want,
I'll just watch you leave through the portal, like all ghosts do.
No, I think it'd be better if I watched you walk out the door,
you know, for reasons I'd like to keep to myself.
No, no, no. I insist.
You go first.
Fine. Here I go.
The portal.
Still time for you to look away.
(Slurping)
Portal's a little slow today.
(Slurping)
Taylor.
I know it's you.
Dad, you can come out now.
Nice haunting.
Hey, son.
(Laughs nervously)
Taylor, you said something about the portal being slow?
I'll check it out.
(Sighs)
What's going on?
Just tell me the truth.
Tara was just using you to get a good grade on her history report.
She was gonna tell you by note, but...
I thought you deserved better.
Wow, that's harsh.
Sorry, Miles.
Eh, I'll be okay.
I guess I was just excited to have a crush on someone after Mirabelle.
Your disguise had me going for a while.
I never realized it, but...
You two look a lot alike.
Well, a little.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe I was into a girl how looked like you.
How creepy is that?
Well, I wouldn't say...
You're like my sister.
Gross. What was I ever thinking?
Okay, we get it.
Well, thanks for trying to protect my feelings.
Means a lot.
Anytime.
- Ugh! - Okay, you can go now.
That was exhilarating.
My chauffeur never breaks the speed limit.
Yeah, and that state trooper was really nice
to let us off with just a warning.
So what do you want to do with this thing?
You know what? You keep it.
Seriously?
Eh, maybe I'll just give it to my sister.
She does love this dumb bear.