♪
[Indistinct conversations]
Wow. This place is...
Well, it just is.
- It just is the funnest. - Yeah.
By the way, they're famous for their chicken fingers,
which are famous for giving several fourth graders salmonella.
Eat nothing. Touch nothing. Watch where you breathe.
How long do we have to be here? I have plans tonight.
- Who you going out with... Kayla? - Yeah, sure.
If I built a time machine and traveled back
to sixth months ago, when I didn't hate her.
Oh, what happened?
Nothing.
- Andy, Dora, let's go play air hockey! - Nope.
Watching a video of a sloth crossing a highway.
- I just don't want to. - [Sighs]
Hey, Alice and I will join you in a minute.
- Now go have fun. - [Train whistle blows]
So, Dora, what are the big plans for tonight?
I never said they were big.
- Uh... - Here you go.
She got me on a technicality.
It's just the age.
Or it's her. Or maybe it's me.
It's weird when your child, who used to describe every poop
in vivid detail, won't even tell you
- where they're going or with who. - Sorry I missed that phase.
- I just worry, you know? - Well,
I wish I could help by sharing my own stories as a teenager,
but it would definitely make it worse.
At least I still know where this one is.
Good shot, Bunny!
Thanks, Bunny! [Laughs]
You're going down, Bunny!
Okay, that's just pathetic.
Hey, Dora. Dora.
Dora?
Good talk.
[Game beeps]
Aah! It's disgusting in here!
How do these animals live like this?
Dora is tough, even for a teenager.
Ha, you should know.
After your parents divorced, you didn't talk to your dad
- for a whole year. - He was in Russia
making counterfeit McDonald's Monopoly pieces.
Right, but if he was around,
you would have been very tight-lipped.
And you never would've won those Rick Springfield tickets
and made out with Rick Springfield.
I just feel like my own surly teen-dom
would give me mad skills with Dora.
I speak Surly Teen.
Oh, you are fluent in Surly Teen.
We just need to find the right time
- for you to have a little "surl" talk. - Yeah.
- Ooh! Aah. - Sorry!
Just kidding. I'm not real.
Can't feel a thing. See?
This is Alice.
When she was a kid, she dreamed up me to be her BFF.
Now my girl has finally fallen in love,
but she's in way over her head.
So I'm back to help!
I've got this all figured out.
- No, you don't. - No, I don't.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com
Guys, you ready? Alice will be here soon.
Bunny, did you clean your room... then destroy it?
Yep, I'm bored.
- [Sighs] - Dad, uh, I'm headed
- to Paint Dem Pots. - Wow, you're really going all in
- on this painted pottery thing. - You bet I am...
and not for nothing.
I am this close to thinking about working up the courage
to consider talking to Melissa, who cleans the brushes.
- Who? - Melissa.
She cleans the brushes.
I'm pretty sure she's a huge fan of my plateware,
or, as I call it, Andyware.
Perfect. You're taking Bunny.
Yay! I want to make Andyware!
Dad, no, bringing Bunny is gonna ruin my whole game.
Buddy, here's the deal...
Dora's always off doing her own thing,
and you're always...
Point is Bunny could really use some big-bro time.
- This is so not cool. - Okay, what if I commissioned...
[Bills shuffle]
12 place settings of Andyware?
- Plus a gravy boat. - Fine.
- Multi-tiered cake platter. - Yes, but that's it.
You'll thank me come cake season. Bunny, let's roll.
[Gasps]
♪
So, check this out... Lately, when you get hungry,
my ears start ringing.
It's super annoying, so eat something soon, okay?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do we have here?
Check out our surly teen.
Dora's out cold.
And why might she be out cold?
Because she stayed up all night.
Just like you used to.
And I can use a shared secret like that.
So you can get closer to that sneaky little hussy.
- Mary! - What's the bigs? Only you can hear me.
♪
- [Grumbles] - [Door closes]
Wow.
- [Cabinet door bangs] - [Inhales sharply]
Oops, sorry.
Catching up on some Z's?
- We just call it "sleep" these days. - Sure.
Up late or all night?
[Chuckling] What? [Gasps] No.
Gotcha.
Well, if your dad is half as perceptive
- as I am... - What are you doing?
Trust me... You say you weren't up all night,
but your face is telling me the opposite.
Voilà!
You look 12 hours younger. Oop.
Drool puddle.
- Hey, I didn't hear you come in. - Hi.
Mm.
Dora, you're looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning.
Uh [chuckles] yeah, j-just super well-rested...
- ...from my long night's sleep. - Mm.
Ooh, donuts. Are there any glazed?
Ohh, here's one. Hi, there, fella.
Eat you later. Peace.
Okay, that was cool.
How'd you know to do all that?
Girl, when I was your age, I'd see the sunrise on the reg.
- That means "regularly," right? - [Laughs]
We were always up all night talking to boys.
Is that what you were doing last night? Were you talking to boys?
- Was it boys? - Junior boys.
I love juniors... loved juniors.
These guys are so cool, and Mason is super cute.
Um, he's in the Solar Car Club, which is, like...
- ...the dope-est science org on campus. - Wow.
Things are so different now.
Stacy and I Skyped them till the sun came up.
And there was your dad, across the hall,
having no idea you were flirting the night away.
Oh, oh, I wasn't in my room.
I snuck out to Stacy's so we could Skype together.
Snuck back this morning.
- [Chuckles nervously] - [Laughs]
Of course you snuck out.
'Cause Skyping apart is what technology is made for,
but less fun. [Inhales sharply]
- Are you okay? - [Clears throat] Mm-hmm.
- You're super pale. - Really?
- Yeah. - It's nothing a little blush can't handle.
- Go on. - Okay.
Yesterday was Mason's science presentation,
and I was like, "Mason, like, you did such a good job."
- And he was like, "Dora"... - [Sighs] Okay.
Listen up... Out there, we're brother and sister.
But in here, we are complete strangers.
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
Exactly, now let's keep it that way.
- I have to B.M. - Bathroom's in the back.
[Exhales sharply] Okay, come on, Andy.
You can do this. [Grunts]
We have so much in common.
I mean, you dirty the brushes. She cleans the brushes.
- You're a boy. She's a girl. - Can I help you?
No!
[Whispering] Way to blow it, Andy. You happy now?
I used a whole roll of toilet paper on my tushy!
- Uh... - Oh, my God. Who is this child?
No idea. She's probably an orphan.
She's adorable.
Oh, well, she's my sister actually.
- We tight. - [Laughs]
I don't know him. He's a stranger.
- [Laughs] She's just kidding. - Uh...
It's this adorable game that we play. [Chuckles nervously]
Uh, well, is it your first time here?
- 'Cause if it is, I could show you around. - Yep!
- First time... never been. - Great.
Well, why don't the three of us get started?
Yeah, what say we kick it off with a couple of mop brushes,
an Escoda squirrel hair brush, a medium oval wash,
oh, and the Paint Dem Pots Signature Spring Pastel Palette.
- Uh, if such things exist. - [Laughs] Okay.
♪
Alice: Girl, we just so crushed this thing with Dora.
We owe ourselves a treat... spa day, pronto!
[Grunts] How do you think I'd look with a full body wax?
I have to tell Ben about Dora sneaking out.
He's her father. He deserves to know.
Slow down.
You just took a big step forward with Dora.
You rat her out, and you're taking two steps back.
No, three. No, four.
- No, five. No... - Dora snuck out last night.
14 steps... That's at least 14 steps!
"Dora snuck out"? What are you talking about?
She went to Stacy's to Skype with these...
I don't know... science-y bad boys.
Before you freak out, just know it could be way worse.
When I was 15, I snuck off to Manhattan.
The one in Kansas.
The bus schedule was very confusing.
And she just told you all this?
- I know it is, like... - Amazing!
- What? - Dora trusts you,
so she'll tell you everything,
which means you'll tell me everything,
which means I'll know everything!
You want me to spy on your daughter?
Yes. Yes.
Teens are like Soviet Russia... it's impossible to know what's really going on.
But you, you can get behind the emotional iron curtain.
Ben...
When you were her age, wouldn't it have helped
if somebody knew what was really going on with you?
It's fair to say there are some mistakes
- that could have been avoided. - And here's the beauty...
you can find out who she's with and what she's doing
and your identity remains secret.
You're just a spook working for the company.
- [Breathes deeply] - That means CIA.
Thanks. I watch "Homeland" with you.
I know this sounds crazy, but I just want to know...
that she's safe.
[Sighs] Okay, fine. I'm in.
Yes.
[Whispering] Spies hang, Alice.
Spies hang.
- [Door bangs] - There she is.
Hey, how was school? Whatcha been up to? Everything okay?
Dora: Fine! Nothing! Fine! Ugh!
- [Stomping] - [Slurps]
[Door slams]
- You're on. - Hm?
- It's mole time. Go! - Now?
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. - Okay, okay,
- Okay, okay! Okay! Fine. - Go, go, go go, go, go, go!
[Knock on door]
Hey. You okay?
Come in. Shut the door.
[Sighs]
So, at sundown,
the Solar Car Club did a presentation
about the founder of Tesla.
They called it "Musk at Dusk."
Needless to say, it was amazing.
Of course, they're the dope-est science org on campus.
But after, I kind of felt like Mason was freezing me out.
And then, later, Stacy texted him "good show,"
and he texted back three prayer hands.
Does Mason like Stacy? She knows I'm into him.
Dude, Stacy had her turn at bat,
and she went with a very pedestrian "good show."
But what are you gonna say?
Y-You think I should just... text him?
Absolutely. Just be yourself.
If he's not into that, he is not worth it.
[Sighs] I hope you're right.
[Inhales sharply] Aah, here it goes! [Laughs]
Can I have some privacy, please?
Of course.
How'd it go? Is she okay?
- Good news, Ben. - Actually...
"Agent Strong Jaw."
- What? - Gave myself a code name.
Still working on yours.
Okay, do you want to know who she's with and what she's up to or not?
- Yes, please, tell me. I do. - Okay, no need to worry.
Just a classic case of "Musk at Dusk,"
triple prayer hands, potential Stacy-Mason freeze-out.
Oh, thank God.
Right?
Yeah. Nothing to worry about. I'm in.
It feels good. I think she actually likes me.
You are totally in.
- [Sighs] - Great.
Mason... science boy.
- Stacy... current friend. Love triangle. - What are you doing?
Oh, just, just keeping track of all the information.
It's like a notebook... or a dossier if we want to be accurate.
I feel like we shouldn't have a paper trail.
I feel like I shouldn't have to say that.
Hey, Dad!
- Dora: Oh, oh. Oh! - Um...
- I think I'm gonna go to Stacy's tonight. - Ben: Sounds great.
- That's cool with you? - Yeah. Yep.
I'm gonna go, um, put away my work notebook...
just contractor stuff in here, super boring.
If you, uh... If you ever want to fall asleep fast...
- Bye, Ben. Bye-bye. - Right.
- He texted back. - [Gasps] See? I told you.
So, Mason wasn't freezing me out.
He was just trying to get up the courage to...
- get this... - Uh-huh.
- ...invite me to a party at the lake. - [Gasps] [Whispering] The lake!
So that's why I told my dad I'm staying at Stacy's.
Stacy will say she's staying here.
Oh. Ohh.
Classic move.
Oh, my God. It's my first co-ed sleepover.
Thank you!
None of this would have happened without you.
- Ooh! - [Laughs]
The lake!
- [Laughs] - [Laughs nervously]
Melissa: Hey, look who's back.
I have your tiered cake platter, Andy.
I love the tie-dye effect.
Oh, it's majolica. It... big risk, huge reward.
Oh, well, maybe sometime you could show me how to do it.
Wow, uh, yeah. Yeah, that'd be great.
Cool.
Oh, and, Bunny,
I have your adorable jewelry box.
It's not a jewelry box. It's an ash box.
Oh, like an ashtray?
No, an ash box... for human ashes.
When someone dies, you put their ashes in here.
- Okay. - And it's for you.
Now you're ready even if you die tomorrow.
- You never know. - So, majolica...
- Uh, you start with a glaze b... - Yeah, uh...
I'm actually feeling kind of sad now, so...
I'm gonna go clean some brushes...
possibly with my tears.
You can put dogs' ashes in it, too!
Why are you... so weird?
What's wrong with you?
♪
Are we strangers again?
You can not tell Ben what Dora is up to.
You do that, she gets busted,
and she will hate you.
Yeah, but if something goes wrong...
and Ben finds out I knew,
I don't think we can recover from that.
Why are you housing that avocado like a circus bear?
Hey, agent. Any new intel?
- Nope. None. Not a thing. - Good, good.
Stay strong. Liars are winners.
- Hey, I was thinking... - Mary: Mm-hmm?
Next time you talk to Dora, just record
the whole conversation on your phone.
That way, no information gets lost.
- Feel me? - Mm.
Dad, just heading out to Stacy's now.
Have fun at Stacy's. Love Stacy.
[Chuckles nervously]
Bunny: [Sobbing]
- Bunny? You okay? - Ben: She's definitely not okay.
She pretty much went "Beetlejuice" on Melissa who cleans the brushes.
None of this is dishwasher-safe.
Andy, I think you're being a little hard on Bunny.
Dad, she made an urn
for a woman I could've possibly married
if a bunch of things broke a very specific way
over a long period of time.
Do you know what it feels like to lose that?
Okay.
Okay, please, sit down.
Listen... Remember the first time you painted ceramics?
- Who'd you go with? - I went with Dora.
And remember how you two used to beg me to go
to that health disaster of a restaurant?
Of course. We'd play air hockey for hours.
- I even won once. - Right.
Now Bunny loves that place.
But who plays air hockey with her?
Huh? See what I'm saying?
[Sighs] Yeah.
♪
Um...
now, why do we need a gravy boat this big?
Oh, you'll thank me come gravy season.
♪
When's gravy season?
I'm so excited.
Totally.
But I was thinking maybe it's not the night for it.
I mean, it's so cold out, the lake breeze... Brr!
Brian won a giant insulated tent
at last year's science fair, so we should be good.
A crowded sleeping arrangement...
What could possibly go pregnant... wrong... wrong.
I mean, all night, no parents,
- those crazy boys... - Wait, what's happening right now?
Are you trying to talk me out of this?
- Are... Are you gonna tell my dad? - What? No!
Of course not. I just...
I want you to be careful.
I'll be fine.
Besides, Mason's bringing a flare gun.
[Gasping] What?!
- [Breathes deeply] - See? Nothing to worry about.
Mason's got a gun!
♪
I see that look on your face.
You're not gonna fink on Dora, are you?
If "fink" means "tell," then maybe. [Sighs]
I mean, stuff happens at the lake.
Yeah, stuff happens at the lake.
Stuff happens at the community center.
Stuff happens at midnight on the ninth green
at Sunset Valley Country Club.
- That was nice. - Which is my point...
You turned out fine. And Dora will, too.
You're not just in a relationship with Ben now.
You're in one with these kids. Don't throw it all away.
- Hey. - Hey.
So, listen...
Thanks for all your help with Dora.
Oh, don't even worry about it.
Operation No Secrets From Daddy has been a huge success.
Except for maybe the name.
Seriously, just knowing that you're helping look out for her,
that she has someone to turn to,
it means so much to me.
Ben...
Do not break.
There's something I have to tell you about Dora.
Abort! Find an avocado!
What's wrong? Is she okay?
Oh, she's fine...
until she learns that you betrayed her!
Dora's not at Stacy's house.
She's at the lake with a bunch of boys.
- What? - Booooo!
- And you're just telling me this now? - Well, here's the thing... I wasn't...
I'm going to the lake right now!
You can't blow my cover! You promised.
The whole idea is to keep her safe.
- At the lake with boys... That's not safe. - No. No, no.
Operation No Secrets From Daddy... over!
Operation No Teen Pregnancy is on!
[Sighs] Damn it.
- Way to go, Agent Double- "O" -Dum-Dum. - [Door opens]
If only someone had warned you this would happen!
Hmm. Oh, wait. I did!
♪
[Vehicle approaches]
[Tires screech, engine shuts off, keys jingle]
- Here we go. [Seat-belt buckle clicks] - Ben, if you do this..
Dora will never trust me again.
Yeah, but she'll be safe...
safe from these lusting, alternative-energy junkies.
Their science disgusts me.
But she is safe.
We know who she's with. We know what she's up to. Wasn't that the point?
What's the use of intel if I don't act on it when I need to?
But... she likes me now.
Not a lot but a little.
- Alice... - Please don't take this away from me...
or Dora...
because we're really getting closer.
♪
That's what matters most.
♪
It is. [Sighs]
Plus, it's all pretty innocent. I mean, they're just...
- laughing, talking... - Ta-da!
...tapping a keg.
And the guy with the Geiger counter
- is making a move on telescope girl! - Oh, crap, crap, crap.
Oh, God. I got to do something, Alice!
I always hated the parents that busted us.
Why can't it be someone else's parents?
[Gasps] That's it... someone else's parents.
Agent Strong Jaw, do you still have that dossier?
You bet I do.
Okay, I need every piece of intel you have on Stacy.
She has a thing against horses because she had a bad pony ride when she was 6.
Uh, she's rumored to like... Mason.
Just give me her mom's number.
Now will you admit the dossier was imperative to our mission?
[Cellphone beeps]
[Bubbly] Hi! It's, like, Debbie.
Um, has Stacy left for the lake yet?
Because I was supposed to meet everyone there,
but I forgot my... sun dial.
O-M-G. O-M-G! Oh, I totally messed up!
Please, don't tell Stacy! O-M-G, B-T-B, T-T-Y-L!
- [Cellphone beeps] - This will only take a sec.
[Cellphone rings]
- [Cellphone beeps] - Hello?
I thought that they were at your house.
Okay, I'll meet you there.
Yeah, thank God for stupid Debbie.
- Bye. - [Cellphone beeps]
You are really good at this!
Agent Strong Jaw is impressed.
What can I say?
I'm Agent Super Smart with Glowing Skin
and Great with Kids and You're Obsessed with Me.
Normally we try to keep them shorter, but...
♪
Hey. Whatcha doing?
Turning my ash box into a jewelry box
'cause that's not weird.
I'm really sorry I yelled at you.
That's not what brothers are supposed to do.
They're supposed to be there for you
and support whatever makes you happy...
like your perfectly-made ash box.
♪
Do you want it?
Yes. Yes.
I would be lucky to keep my ashes in your ash box.
- One day. - It could happen anytime.
True, but for now, while we're alive,
maybe we should do what brothers and sisters do best.
- [Puck clatters] - I win again!
[Laughs] Sure do.
You're letting me win, aren't you?
[Indistinct conversations, train whistle blows]
Yes. Yes, I am.
♪
[Laughs]
Exactly. Oh! Coming in hot.
[Engine revs, turns off]
Stacy!
Wow, Stacy's parents are really worked up.
Super uncool...
But I guess that's our cue.
First...
♪
You crushed it today. Thank you.
No, thank you.
So here's something new...
When you kiss Ben, my armpits tingle
- and not in a good way. - [Car doors open]
Okay, you're busy, but this is something we need to discuss!
- [Car doors close] - [Groans]
She taking her punishment okay?
- I mean, I can't not ground her. - She understands.
Sorry I put you in a weird spot with this mole business.
- [Chuckles softly] - But...
anything else come up?
- Um, nothing you need to know. - What?
I think it might be easier this way.
Hold on. That's not the system.
[Singsong voice] It's the new system.
If you need to know anything, I will tell you.
Come on. Who are you working for?
- Have you been turned? - You'll never know.
- Oh, I'll get it out of you. - You can try.
This is sexy but frustrating.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com