(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time?
Is this the '50s
Or 1999?
All I wanted to do
Was play my guitar and sing
So take me away I don't mind
But you better promise me I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
I'll be back in time
Gotta get back in time
Salutations, sports fans.
Emmett L. Brown here, at the Hill Valley
baseball stadium and swap-meet grounds.
I don't want to say that the local team is unpopular,
but if they ever sell these bleachers,
they can advertise most of them as never sat on.
(BAT STRIKING) (CROWD CHEERING)
DOC: Ah, well, it's lunch time
and nothing tastes better than an iced tea
and a hot dog at the ballpark.
You know, it is interesting to note
that both of these concoctions were introduced
at the St. Louis World's Fair in 1904,
which my family and I attended.
MARTY: Jen, you're gonna love this last hole.
You put the ball through the black cat's legs
and into the laughing witch's mouth for a free game.
(CLANKING)
(LAUGHING) Jen, you didn't have to shower for me!
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
Very funny, Marty.
I can't believe I missed.
Let me try your ball, and if I don't make it, I'll buy the pizza.
(CLANKING)
(LAUGHING) Whoa! Looks like the pizza is on me.
Yeah, but the lava's on me.
Lighten up, Jen.
You girls always have to have perfect hair. (CAR HORN HONKING)
Jennifer, dear, I love what you've done to your hair!
On you, it works.
Yeah, it just erupted and she can't do a thing with it!
(LAUGHING)
You are so funny, Marty.
How would you like to escort me to tonight's country club dance?
Or would you rather play kiddie golf with the witch?
Oh, gee, uh...
Jen, I know we were going to rent some movies and eat pizza,
but I've never been to the club.
Yeah? Well, how would you like to wear one?
Well, it looks like I'm free.
Pick me up at 8:00!
(ENGINE REVVING)
I'm going to this high-society shindig tonight.
Better give me the executive cut
with the razor-etched monogram in back.
$100.
Uh... Oh, gee... (CHUCKLING)
(STAMMERING) How much for the junior executive trim
with the feathered, wedge-cut?
$95.
What about just a boy's haircut?
$92.50.
If you'll excuse me,
I think I need to go feed the parking meter.
Twenty-five cents.
MARTY: I'm not paying a hundred bucks for a haircut.
Maybe I can borrow the money from Doc.
...with two Mega-Monster Mountain adults,
that will be $275.
Oh, good thing we had that coupon.
Let's hit the Brain Banger first!
JULES: I prefer the Gut Twister!
VERNE: How about the Chow Blower?
(ROARING)
Don't they have a Ferris Wheel?
Ferris Wheels are for babies, wimps
and old folks...
Sorry, Mom.
Perhaps we should start with something a little more tame.
Uh, four lemonades, please.
Lemonade? Well, get real, mister man.
We got Super Blue Brain Freeze Cola.
And that will be 10 bucks each.
Baby, whatever.
Ten bucks!
(THUD) There was a time when a fresh-squeezed glass
of ice-cold lemonade sold at the County Fair for 10 cents!
Yeah? Well, here's a dime.
Build yourself a time machine,
and go back and get me one.
That would be a super thing.
Emmett, could we?
Boys, how about a trip to an old-fashioned amusement park?
With real lemonade!
No way, Jose! We got a date with...
BOTH: The Spleen Splitter!
All right, but we'll be back to pick you up in two hours.
Why, that's enough to ride the Spleen Splitter 38.5 times.
Mega-hurl!
I sense imminent spewage!
(DOOR CREAKING) Hello?
Anybody home?
Doc?
Hey, Einstein. Where is everybody?
(MACHINE WHIRRING) (BARKS)
Mega-Monster Mountain?
Oh, man! I hope they got a coupon!
Now, what's this?
"The Haircut O-Matic?"
(CHUCKLING) Hey.
Looks like Doc's new invention just saved him a hundred bucks.
"High School Football Buzz Cut,"
"Bald Man Wash and Wax,"
"Executive Clean Cut and Trim."
Now, that sounds like the right 'do for tonight's "to-do."
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
Hey, this is perfect!
(SCREAMS)
Perfect if I'm a punk rocker!
(DOC READING)
Um, one, please.
That's $100, mister.
Excuse me, ma'am, but next time you should use a coupon.
MARTY: Oh, man. I'm never going to find Doc in this crowd.
And I really need his help! Ow!
Hey, beat it, you little twerps! (ALL SCREAMING)
(SIGHING) Geez, this is humiliating!
What are you gawking at?
Is this the line for the Elvis show?
No!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
All right, that's it! No more rides for you punks!
But we're attempting a world's record!
This is the fourth time your brother's thrown-up on the other passengers.
That was the other record I was going for!
Hey, looky!
Fievel came back from the West!
Marty!
(PANTS) Am I glad to see you guys!
Einie said you'd be here. Where's your dad?
I got a small problem.
Okay, so it's a big problem.
Father took Mother for an old-fashioned lemonade.
But we don't know where.
(DOC SINGING INDISTINCTLY) Hey, isn't that Doc singing?
That's his voice, but I wouldn't call it singing.
Let's check it out.
(DOC CONTINUES SINGING) VERNE: He's in there!
(SINGING CONTINUES)
"Recorded on June 29, 1904,
"at the St. Louis World Exposition."
That's no stinking fair.
Oh, yes, it was.
And that's where Father and Mother must be.
DOC AND CLARA: (SINGING) We will dance the hoochee-koochee
I will be your tootsie-wootsie
If you will meet me in St. Louis
Louis, meet me at the Fair!
All that singing has parched my throat.
Perhaps an ice-cold lemonade?
Emmett, this is so civilized.
Care to take a spin on a thrilling amusement attraction?
The Brain Banger? The Gut Twister? The Spleen Splitter?
(CHUCKLES) To the Ferris Wheel, my dear.
A splendid contraption employing the "tension spoke principal."
I go for the view.
(KISSING)
(CRASHING)
(GASPS)
Gee, they're starting the fireworks awfully early.
Say, what is this newfangled contraption?
Uh... Train of the Future!
See the Train of the Future!
Only five bucks!
Five dollars! That's my week's salary!
Aw, chump change.
I'll gladly give you five cents
to tour such a future train,
but not a penny more!
VERNE: Okie-ma-dokie. We're easy.
See there?
If I had me an exhibit like that,
I'd be raking in the "do-re-mi"
hand over knuckles,
instead of playing baby-sitter to a roomful of cobweb collectors.
I don't know. P.T. Tannen's Villains Through History in Wax
scares me pretty good.
Atilla the Hun, Ivan the Terrible, Bob the Nasty...
Who was that, anyway?
An old uncle of mine. Ooh, was he nasty!
Boss, five cents is a fair price to see such hideous statues.
Yeah, but I'm tired of handing out all them nickels.
I want people to pay me!
I need a spectacular attraction like, uh...
Like, uh...
(CHUCKLING) Like that!
We must find Father and Mother.
Yeah, before my head wigs out completely.
JULES: This World's Fair is really quite remarkable.
VERNE: Yeah, except the workers don't got tattoos.
There's nothing scarier than a bad haircut, is there, son?
And people will pay good money to be scared by your bad haircut.
Well, it may be bad, but the price was right.
(CHUCKLES) Get him, Clyde!
(MARTY YELLING)
Jules!
(MARTY SCREAMS) What is it, insipid sibling?
Either somebody is walking off with one of the Nelson twins,
or Marty's in big trouble!
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) (DRUMROLL)
Ah, Clara. How about a gondola ride on the Grand Basin?
Followed by a tour of the Palace of Electricity?
As the offspring might say, "okie-ma..."
Holy baloney!
Do my eyes deceive me? Someone stole my locomotive design!
Right down to the ELB on the engine.
Ooh, I'm steamed!
Now, Emmett.
I'll bet it was that buffoon who laughed at me in the patent office
back in 1895.
CLYDE: Ladies and gents, step right up
for the Louisiana Purchase Exposition's newest attraction!
Amazing beyond all discovery!
Welcome to P. T. Tannen's House of Curiosity.
Tannen?
That family has been ripping-off people for centuries.
See the boy with the dancing 'do!
The locks that shock.
The most hair-raising attraction you have ever seen!
Grab your hats and prepare your peepers
for the most astounding human discovery,
beyond all amazement.
Meet the boy with the hair that scares, (BURPING)
the fur that frightens,
the cowlick that makes grown men cower.
I give you, His Royal Hairness! (AUDIENCE GASPING)
BOTH: Marty!
This is unbelievable!
You mean that Marty has been captured
and put on display?
No, that for only a nickel you can get entertainment like this!
Doc! Clara! You got to get me out of here.
Oh, Marty,
don't tell me you utilized the Haircut O-Matic before I perfected it?
Okay, I won't tell you.
(GRUNTS) TANNEN: Watch it, buddy!
No talking to the curiosity.
But it's my friend! You have no right to keep it here.
Sure I do. It's a free country!
Well, I like that!
I didn't.
JULES: Mother! VERNE: Pop!
Why am I not surprised to see you boys?
You got to help Marty! He...
Used an invention of mine, which messed up his hair,
got captured by an ancestor of Biff Tannen,
and put on display like an animal in a zoo.
Yes, he... Huh?
Whoa! I hate it when Pop knows more than we do.
CLYDE: That's right, step inside, folks.
See the human hair factory,
before he's sold to medical science!
JULES: We must rescue him, Father.
Get your cream pies and Seltzer water!
Nothing more refreshing on a hot day than a cream pie,
washed down with a bottle of Seltzer water.
And I think I'm hatching another patented ELB inspiration.
(LAUGHING) That's the silliest hair I've ever seen.
(SCOFFS) Looked in a mirror lately?
VERNE: Quiet on the set! Huh?
Action!
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
You're chasing away my chumps, er... Customers!
Now, throw the pie!
What the...
Jules, if we get out of this alive, can I borrow a hundred bucks for a haircut?
Sorry, mister. Let me clean you off.
(YELLING)
(THUD)
Cut!
I ought to...
That was fabulous, baby, fabulous!
You're a natural!
Ooh, this is fun!
Now, Carrie, let's not get Clara'ed away.
I mean, uh... You know.
What is all this?
Where have you been, sweetie? It's the movies.
The latest thing.
Ah, that's just a fad.
Like the horse-less carriage and the flying machine.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Where do you think you're going?
Uh... To get a shampoo?
(YELLING)
Bring back my attraction!
I abducted him fair and square!
(GASPING)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
So long, you big goon!
(GASPS) Whoa!
Whoa!
Look, it's a flying train of the future!
We've actually been on board.
Ooh, touch you!
Here I come, hairy boy.
Now I know how Rapunzel felt.
Hey, Marty! How about a trim?
(YELLING)
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
(YELLING)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
DOC: Now, to pick up the DeLorean and head for home.
MARTY: Guys, we gotta hurry.
It's almost 8:00.
Watch Admiral Baird.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Whoa, the tux looks great, Doc.
But what about my hair?
I can't show up looking like this.
If she really cares about you, Marty, she'll understand.
Looks to me like a simple build-up of static electricity.
So, call an electrician.
No, just rub your feet on the throw rug and touch something metal.
I'll try anything, except another one of Doc's unfinished inventions.
Ow! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Hey, best haircut I ever had!
That will be 100 bucks, plus tip. (LAUGHS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
So, here you are. (GIGGLING)
Sorry I'm late, Liz, but...
Marty, I have something to say to you.
Uh, me, too...
Look, I was all wrong to make fun of Jen and treat her the way I did.
I can't go to the dance with you.
I know you can't, 'cause I'm going with Milton Van Conrad the Third,
(GIGGLES) The richest boy in town.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Just stopping by on your way to the country club?
Jen, I'm sorry I made fun of your hair.
Believe me, I know just how you felt.
I brought a triple cheesy-cheese pizza and a couple of videos.
Can you forgive me?
Oh, Marty.
(KISSING)
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
Oh, well, as I told Marty,
hair today, gone tomorrow.
Or even gone today as this ice cream cone will be in a few moments.
As a matter of fact, putting ice cream into cones
was also introduced at the World's Fair.
The idea was to enable you to tour the exhibit
while eating your dessert.
Access video encyclopedia, section C, for "cone".
You can make your very own cone from a piece of thin cardboard.
First, draw an arc above one corner of the cardboard.
A geometric compass will come in handy for this,
but you can also trace around the edge of a dinner plate.
Now, cut along the line.
Then roll the cardboard up and staple it.
You've made a cone.
Hold it! You don't want to eat ice cream out of a cardboard cone.
Let's make the edible kind.
If you're a little too young to be working in the kitchen, ask an adult for help.
Ice cream cones, like pancakes, are made from a batter.
Here are the ingredients...
(DOC READING)
Mix all the ingredients into a batter
and pour a bit into a skillet.
Brown the batter on both sides.
It should now look like a pancake.
While it's still warm, wrap the pancake around your cardboard cone.
Press the edges together for a good seal.
Now, let it cool.
Remove the cardboard. Add a scoop of your favorite flavor,
and you've made your very own home-made ice cream cone.
But don't eat too fast! You'll get a brain freeze!
Improbable news, sports fans,
it's the bottom of the ninth, two outs,
nobody on base.
(BAT STRIKING) (CROWD CHEERING)
Ah, it's a homer!
Hill Valley wins! Yay!
It doesn't get any better than this!
See you in the future!